( moaning )
- Sookie. - No, don't talk anymore.
I've waited so long for this.
Alcide.
( retches )
Eric: Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady.
( gags )
( theme music playing )
== original sync & corrections by elderman == == re-sync to WEB-DL by me ==
♪ When you came in the air went out ♪
♪ And every shadow filled up with doubt ♪
♪ I don't know who you think you are ♪
♪ But before the night is through ♪
♪ I want to do bad things with you ♪
♪ I'm the kind to sit up in his room ♪
♪ Heart sick and eyes filled up with blue ♪
♪ I don't know what you've done to me ♪
♪ But I know this much is true ♪
♪ I want to do bad things with you ♪
5x05 Let's Boot and Rally
♪ Ow, ooh ♪
♪ I want to do real bad things with you. ♪
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I ain't down with this hinky brujo shit.
Sookie could've died in that car crash.
Fuck you!
Listen up.
I ain't never put too much stock
in You, Lord God, but if you up there,
I'm tired of all this bullshit.
- Give it up. - You're fucked now.
- Oh, life is suffering, bitch. - ( plays violin )
( small screams, idols crying out )
- I'm a good man! - ( grunts )
I did some shitty stuff,
but compared to all evil out there,
I'm good enough. Better than most.
So cut me a break.
- ( voices cease ) - ( panting )
Jesus, if you're out there,
can you give me a sign?
I just need some fucking help.
- Eller: Tie him up. - ( Patrick groans )
- Let's go. - Terry: What's--
Did anything follow you here?
Eller, man, it's just us. You got nothing to worry--
Did anything follow you here?
No, man. We're alone.
Nobody followed us here.
I'm thinking maybe this was a not-so-great idea.
Ho ho ho.
- ( yells ) - Of course I need you, Rudolph!
Really, Santa? To guide your sleigh?
You can do the thing
that all the other reindeer can't. Come on!
Michelle: Sookie, honey? Eat your cereal.
- Ooh, you can so pinch an inch. - Corbett: Hey.
- Right there. - Hey, stop it. Come on.
Hey, champ. Come get some breakfast.
You ready to take the Stingrays today?
Yeah. We gonna kill 'em.
- Mm-hmm. - It's just Pee Wee, Corbett.
Pee Wee's still ball.
- Dad-- - What's the matter, Jason?
You--
Michelle: What's the matter, pumpkin?
Mom--
- your neck. You're bleeding! - Oh, there, there, sweetie.
Do you want a little sex?
Sex always makes you feel better, doesn't it?
Not even a blow job?
( phone ringing )
Hello? Who?
Hey, Rosie, hey.
Listen, what year is it?
What year? Good.
No, that's good.
Yeah, yeah. I'm on my way.
Fucking fairies.
( ringing )
Arlene: Andy Bellefleur, would you answer your phone?
Andy, pick it up.
You're gonna wake the baby.
It's only rung about 4,000 times.
- Andy! - I fell in a--
Cheese and crackers, Andy.
Would you put some clothes on? Have you lost your mind?
- ( ringing continues ) - ( yells )
- Can a man have some privacy? - Would you just pick up the phone?
- ( baby starts crying ) - Ya see?
Bellefleur.
Uh, yeah.
Okay, I'll be there.
I'm not even sure that's possible.
You succeeded before, with Tara.
That was a maenad spell.
I've never tried to un-glamour someone.
Where were you guys anyway?
- We were worried. - Clearly.
Alcide's employee is the only person who can identify
whoever it was that freed Russell.
I don't want Doug mixed up in this bullshit.
You fangers bring nothing but trouble and death.
Well, we don't need your permission, wolf.
Russell has been under the ground for over a year.
It'll take him a few days to recuperate,
and then when he does, he will be straight out after us on the hunt.
'Cause you didn't kill him when you had the chance.
- What did you say? - You heard me.
( arguing loudly )
( dogs barking )
( laughing )
I'm sorry.
I just keep thinking that if I make the right choice,
all this madness will end and my life will go back to normal.
But it's not gonna end, is it?
This is it.
It's not gonna change.
We say goodbye, and the next thing,
you guys are back in my house
and a 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood.
Must be Thursday!
Well, come on.
What are y'all waiting for? Let's go hunt Russell.
Onwards into the jaws of death!
Boot and rally!
Thanks a lot, Tara.
( music playing )
You actually look halfway decent.
If I wanted to look like a drag queen,
I would've raided Lafayette's closet.
Here. You take the first shift.
You want me to bartend?
No, I want you to sit on your ass and play Scrabble.
Yes, I want you to bartend. Fangtasia's mine now
and we're understaffed. So make yourself useful.
So, basically, I'm your slave.
Pretty much.
The more things change,
the more they fucking stay the same.
Can I get a Tru Blood, O-neg, sweet thing?
I am many things, but "sweet" ain't one of them.
All right.
- Hi. - What can I get you?
- You're new here. - ( clicks )
Oh, okay, well.
If you wanna skip the small talk-- ( screams )
Repeat after me. I will never, ever, ever
fucking feed in public where people can see me
and report me to the goddamn authorities.
- But you said before-- - Listen close.
I saved your fucking life and lent you some truly exquisite clothes.
But if you do anything to mess with Fangtasia,
I will silver you and stick you in a coffin
to rot until the next millennium.
Do you understand me?
Doug, this here's Sookie.
- Sookie, this is Doug. - It's real nice to meet you.
What can I do for you folks?
Would you mind terribly if I took a little peek inside your head?
What do you remember about that night?
Nothing. I swear.
I was taking my break, like always.
Somebody's coming up to him.
- What do they look like? - It's blurry.
I can't make it out.
It's a woman.
She's digging Russell up with her hands.
- Woman: Gently. - ( Doug thinking ) What the fuck?
What is this? What the fuck is this?
Sookie: Wait.
She has a necklace.
A pendant, like a spider or...
a bat?
A female member of the Authority released Russell.
Did you tell Nora that we buried Russell alive?
- No. - I don't believe you.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
- You said you and Nora share everything. - Not that.
You couldn't keep your mouth shut and now she's using Russell against us.
That's absurd.
Nora risked her life to free me. And you, too.
( no audible dialogue )
Your boy,
Chancellor Drew, is dead.
You served him up like a lamb to slaughter.
Now he's just a pile of guts on the floor.
Drew is goo. ( laughs )
Drew is goo.
We will rise up.
The warriors of Lilith are coming for you.
Coming for all of you.
- ( UV lamps buzzing ) - ( Nigel screaming )
Your nights of sacrilege are numbered, Roman!
Any news yet from Mr. Compton and Mr. Northman?
No, they dawdled about Bon Temps.
Visited the home of a local waitress,
went to the Kwik-E-Mart
for a jumbo coffee and box of Nutter Butters,
then traveled by cube van to a parking facility in Shreveport.
Please notify Mr. Compton and Mr. Northman
that the Guardian has instructed that they have until dawn
to find Russell Edgington or they will be terminated.
Mm.
( beeps )
Chancellor Drew was a great man.
I thought he was a great man.
We drafted the Vampire Rights Amendment together.
He was deeply committed to mainstreaming.
How could he lose his way?
How could I not see it?
- He fooled us all, Guardian. - So much blood.
For what?
Some vampires believe the blood in this urn is the actual blood of Lilith.
They are just as misguided as the humans
who think that their Communion wafer's
the literal body of Christ.
And there I am,
doing my little song and dance with the dropper.
Symbolic ritual, nothing more.
Forgive me, Guardian.
But the Sanguinistas are gaining ground.
They are recruiting followers even among your closest allies.
Yes, no shit.
Two of my own chancellors.
It is a mistake to underestimate them.
- Perhaps if you-- - I refuse to pander to fanatics.
But this is not what I'm suggesting.
Just throw the religious base a bone.
Control the message.
But on your own terms.
Patrick: Well, there's no denying it. Eller's the firebug.
He's the one who torched Kessler and Jeffries.
How long do you think he's been out here?
Couple years at least.
Man, he has really lost his fucking shit.
I just gotta do it.
- Patrick: Eller. - For the love of God, Eller--
Maybe if I kill you, it will forgive me.
- Eller, you do not have to do this. - Who needs to forgive you?
Ah.
- I saw them burn. - Who?
Kessler-- Him and his wife.
How?
After we got back,
I was crashing on their couch for a while.
And this one night, I woke up
and their house was on fire.
JeMarcus and Lana were trapped down a hall.
I tried to get to them, but the fire moved.
It didn't move like it was supposed to.
It didn't burn one thing and move on to the next.
The fire saw them running
and intercepted them.
And they were screaming and then I saw it.
It was in the flames, it was looking at me.
Coming for me.
So I jumped out the window
and I ran and ran and just kept running.
I looked it up. Fucking Googled it.
Came right up on the goddamn search engine.
It's called ifrit.
It means "the evil."
An infernal being of smoke and fire.
- It's coming for us. - Eller, man,
there's no fire monster coming for us.
Yeah, there is.
We shouldn't have done it. We shouldn't have done what we did.
- Shut up. - We didn't do anything.
- She cursed us, man. - Shut up.
She was dying and she cursed us.
- ( machine guns firing ) - ( shouting in Arabic )
( crying and screaming in Arabic )
Bellefleur, you stay with me, God damn it.
Shouldn't have done what we did!
I don't wanna talk about it.
( machine gun fires )
- ( woman gasping ) - She's alive, Sergeant.
Dead check her.
What? No. We can save her, Sergeant. We can call in a medevac--
We've been in country too long to get dragged down by this bullshit.
- Do you understand me? - We can help her.
There is only one thing that's important out here.
Now tell me what the fuck that is.
The man to your left and the man to your right.
- That's right. - Now you fucking dead check her.
( gasps )
( speaking Arabic )
Plucked off, just like virgins in a whorehouse.
Stackhouse.
- Earth to Stackhouse. - Huh?
- Come on. - Hey.
Andy.
Do you remember how we got back from the club
earlier tonight?
I was hoping you could tell me.
( sighs ) The last thing I remember was getting blasted out of there
by those fairy bouncers. And waking up buck naked.
Watch that homo talk, Stackhouse.
Folks'll sue you for that shit.
No, Andy.
Those guys and all those strippers?
They're fairies. Like "Tinker Ball."
They're supes, man.
Those ladies are fairies?
- Yeah. - I fucked a fairy?
Well, if you did it with one of them ladies,
then, yeah.
Whoa, what is it, man?
Fuck it.
I don't care if those ladies are fairies or leprechauns
or frickin' Ewoks.
I got a good thing starting up with Holly,
and I ain't gonna let Maurella and her sexy fairy friends
mess it up for me. So I'm gonna steer clear of that place.
And you and me? We ain't gonna talk about it no more.
You get me?
- Uh-- - Sweep the perimeter.
I'm gonna interview our witness.
These folks friends of yours?
I gotta ask you a few questions.
Yeah.
What happened here tonight?
Well, we were getting together for dinner.
When I got here, I found Emory and Suzanne
on the porch, dead.
How long did you know the victims?
About a year.
Know anybody who'd want them dead?
No.
No, they're good people.
Is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Anything hinky?
Well, we're shifters.
- All of you? - Yeah.
We get together every couple weeks, we shift,
we run in the woods.
Now, hang tight.
I'll come get you in a while.
( music playing )
- Hey. - Hey.
I'll take a Tru Blood.
It's two parts O-neg, one part B-pos.
Thanks.
Hey, you okay?
Trade you makers.
Pam is not so bad.
She'll probably let you feed off of a human.
Bill made me drink nothing but Tru Blood forever.
Hey, I'm sorry this happened to you if you didn't want it to.
It's just, I know how awful and scary...
and lonely it can be.
But it gets better.
It really does.
You know, I think the hardest part is that nobody gets you.
Like Pam and Eric and Bill, they're all
just so old.
And then humans, even if they love you, or--
I mean, if they try,
no, they don't get it.
Been feeling fresh out of friends lately.
You could hang with me.
We can be girlfriends.
I feel crazy in my head.
Yeah, I know, I know. When I was turned,
I didn't understand at all.
I had all these impulses,
and then I was hungry all the time.
- It's like I can't see straight. - Mm-hmm.
Like there's all these beating hearts around me and...
I just wanna rip these people's fucking heads off
and just drink out their insides.
It's like this haze of, I don't know, desire?
You can't think about anything else.
- It's fucked up. - No. No, it's not.
No. No, listen.
I put myself through a lot of grief
and, oh, God, a ton of blood tears
before I realized that these feelings are not bad.
They're awesome.
No, I mean, at least they can be.
Either way, they're part of who we are now.
And I feel like I am just now starting to figure out
what it even means to be a vampire.
Have you fed on a human yet?
How was it?
It was all right.
Hmm.
Yeah, uh, how fucking great is it?
- Really fucking great. - Better than sex, right?
Yeah, actually.
Just wait--
Wait until you try feeding and fucking at the same time.
No, no, I don't know about all that.
No, I know.
But it's not just about the feeding and the sex
and the power, but--
I mean,
we're gonna live forever.
We're gonna be young forever.
The world, it's, like,
wide open to us.
Sookie: Alcide?
Are we gonna talk about the fact that I puked on your shoes?
Nope.
This is so damn messed up.
I don't remember ever being down this way.
Turn left up ahead.
What if Nora orchestrated this whole thing?
She pretended to save us so she could send us to Russell?
And why would she do that?
Russell could be a powerful ally to her cause.
Though he'd never agree to do it for free.
But if she were to serve the two of us up to him,
then she'd be in a position to negotiate with him.
Yeah, well, that's not what she did.
She tried to get us out of the country.
Well, that's what she said she was doing.
- You're just being paranoid. - Then why is she still alive?
I don't know, Bill.
She's a traitor and a liar just like her brother.
( growls )
- Take that back. - ( phone ringing )
- Hello? - Hey, guys.
It's Molly, remember me?
Just giving you a shout-out to let you know that your countdown has started.
- Our countdown? - Yeah, your iStakes
are set to activate at dawn. Bummer, right?
There must be some kind of mistake.
No, I'm launching a test.
- Are your iStakes glowing? - ( beeps )
- Yeah, they're glowing. - Cool.
That means we're good to go. Good luck.
And if you don't make it, it's been rad serving you.
Peace out.
We don't have much time.
Sookie: They took Russell inside.
Bill: We don't have much time. We should split up.
I'll take the north wing, and you take the south.
Even at full speed, it's a lot of ground to cover.
Sookie, we'd like to thank you for getting us this far,
but Eric and I will take it from here.
You can stay outside with Doug and Alcide.
Yeah, right.
We don't have time to worry about you.
First of all, I've seen enough horror movies
to know you don't split up when you're in a big, scary asylum
and there's a crazed killer on the loose.
Second, I think it's fair to say that my microwave fingers
and the sun are about the only things around here
that seem to have any effect on Russell,
so the way I see it, it's me protecting you from him,
instead of the other way around.
Third, I got a headache
and I gotta pee something fierce,
so I'd just as soon get this over with.
( Alcide laughs )
Doug.
We got us a wooden bullet here.
Silver core.
Wooden bullets kill shifters?
Sure, but so do regular bullets.
Wooden bullets kill vamps, though. If they hit the heart.
Maybe the killers are after vamps, too.
Or maybe they got a grudge against supes in general.
- You guys need anything else? - Nah, we'll be in touch.
Hey, uh, sorry about your friends, man.
Thanks, Jason.
Bullet came from this direction.
- Hey, you know what's fucked up? - I got a pretty long list.
No, all this supernatural shit,
these killings.
They've been going on for years.
Us humans just started paying attention 'cause the vamps
came out of the coffin.
But before that,
the supes had been killing people,
making it look all natural,
and we've been none the fucking wiser.
The vampires--
they've been getting away with this shit forever.
Looks like tire tracks.
BF Goodrich radials.
Shooter stood right here and, boom,
shot down those poor people in cold blood.
They never had a chance.
( Alcide sniffs ) Wolves have been here.
They come with Russell.
( Doug whimpering )
Doug: I don't like this.
( gurgling )
- You okay? - Yeah.
Remind me to avoid peach schnapps in future.
Turn left.
I've never been to New York City.
I'm just saying. If I die,
I will never have made it to the Big Apple.
New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.
- ( objects clatter ) - ( Doug gasps )
- ( Eric growls ) - ( rat squeaking )
( Doug pants )
- ( Doug crying ) - Sookie: Oh, my God.
Alcide: It's okay, Doug. It's okay.
( Doug panting )
- Doug: Oh-- - Sookie: Good Lord in heaven.
Doug: No, no, no, no, no.
( squeaking )
Seems like we're in the right place.
( music playing )
Hoyt?
Oh, hey, Tara.
What's with the get-up?
- It's the look. - For fangbangers.
Never took you for no fangbanger.
I never took you for no vamper. People change.
Well, what do ya say?
Go home to your mama, Hoyt.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What, my blood's not good enough for you?
- ( footsteps echoing ) - ( water dripping )
Sookie: This way.
The morgue. How convenient.
Patrick: Bellefleur, hey.
- Hey, Bellefleur! - ( machine gun fires )
( dog barking )
( ethereal moaning )
I saw it, too.
I saw the ifrit.
You saw it?
It was watching us.
- I'm not crazy? - We've gotta get out of here.
No. We're protected here.
The walls are flame-retardant.
- I installed a sprinkler system. - Eller.
We've got to get
the fuck out of here.
This is what it's been waiting for, to get us all together.
We are sitting ducks down here.
You're right.
You're fucking right.
I got a friend.
He lives on a house boat down on the Gulf.
- Maybe we could go there. - Sergeant, what the fuck?
I gotta hand it to you. That performance was fucking brilliant.
No, I did believe him. He was right. I saw that monster in the flames.
- Help me with him. - No way, Sergeant. I meant what I said.
That woman cursed us. We gotta get the fuck out of here.
- All of us. - I am sick of you crazy fucks.
Now you either help me secure the prisoner, or get the fuck out.
God damn it, Bellefleur.
We're gonna get him some help.
Come morning, we'll turn him in to local authorities.
I saw it, Sergeant.
The ifrit.
I thought I was hallucinating, but I saw it, too.
We killed those people
and we can't undo it and now we gotta pay.
Hey, we were on drugs that night, Bellefleur.
Jacked out of our minds.
'Course you were seeing things.
But let's get one thing real clear.
There is no fucking "uh-freet."
Eller is just some poor sick fuck
who likes to light fires 'cause he can't stand to live with himself.
Okay?
Yes, sir.
( wind blowing )
( coughing )
( screams )
- ( fly buzzing ) - ( man murmuring )
( Lafayette screaming )
- ( man murmuring ) - Jesus!
Where have you been?
( insistent murmuring )
Well, I will tell him.
Lafayette!
Whoo-hoo! Lafayette!
( Doug panting )
- ( loud bang ) - ( Doug gasps )
- ( fangs click ) - ( growls )
- We're being watched. - I can't do this.
I'm sorry. Holy shitcakes.
I'm so fucking sorry,
but this is crazy.
- Doug! - ( Doug crying )
Doug!
- ( Doug screaming ) - ( man screaming )
Man: Please help me. Don't take me.
It's not my turn.
I'm too skinny. I was on Atkins and I lost 40 pounds.
Take the others, please. Please.
Fatties first.
Where do they take the prisoners?
Down the hallway. There's screaming and then there's not.
I'm not going. I'm staying here.
Please get me down from here.
- I've got money. I can pay you. - Shh!
No, no.
You ready?
Man: Come back! Don't leave me here!
( gasping ) Please!
( knocks )
- I tried calling-- - Sam, I'm sorry.
- But this is a bad time, okay? - Luna...
Suzanne and Emory, they're dead.
They were shot tonight.
Do you know anybody
who would want to hurt them?
No.
They're wonderful people.
Who could've-- ( crying )
Baby.
Hey, listen. I wanna know how I can be here for you.
Thank you.
I know things have been hard between us--
( loud clattering )
- What was that? - Nothing. It's Emma.
She's been having trouble sleeping lately.
Oh, God.
Sam...
I'm sorry, but you should probably go.
- Okay. - Okay.
I'm gonna come check on you tomorrow.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Come here. - ( crying )
Okay.
Man: Hey, shifter! Whoo!
- Got him! - ( men hooting, laughing )
Man #2: The only good shifter is a dead shifter
- Sam! - Luna, no!
( both gasping )
Oh, my God, Luna.
- Emma: Mommy! - Emma, run!
Get the shifter!
- ( gun firing ) - ( whimpers )
Sam: Run!
Roman's voice: There are traitors in our midst.
- ( engine revs ) - ( tires screech )
Those who seek to tear down
all that we have built together.
Now, as Guardian, I am tasked with not only our political future,
but the spiritual salvation
of vampires everywhere.
The question before us is:
are we willing to share this world?
As vampires, we have committed crimes against humanity,
crimes for which we must now atone.
The Sanguinistas want to turn the clock backwards,
want to murder with impunity.
They think of humans as nothing but sustenance.
So the choice is ours.
Do we to return to a time
where we skulked in the dark
hiding in the shadows?
Or are we willing
to extend the promise of Lilith
and the bountiful mercy to all of humanity?
And live...
as equals?
The Sanguinistas say we are going against our nature,
that Lilith commands us to feed.
The pinnacle of the food chain.
- Hoyt: Tara, please. Please. - But they are wrong.
- Get off of him. - For if we let our sins flourish...
What the fuck's your problem?
...if we are slaves to our blood lust,
if we let our hunger for power
surpass our common decency,
we doom our souls to damnation.
So let it be known...
we will not cede the floor to the depraved
and desperate tyranny of madmen and fanatics.
We will not stand by
while zealots hijack
the righteousness of our cause.
We will fight.
And let the night cleanse us of our sins and lead us to victory.
- ( fangs click ) - Took you long enough.
What an infernal racket
you people have been making.
( sniffs )
Oh.
Miss Stackhouse.
Always a pleasure.
To what do I owe?
Fuck you, you psychotic piece of shit.
( coughs )
Hello, old friend.
Do you remember me?
We've come to finish what we started.
Russell: Well...
as my great love Talbot used to say
when we were buck hunting,
- give it your best shot. - ( snarls )
( wolf growls )
[ ♪ Let's Boot and Rally ♪ sung by Iggy Pop. feat Bethany Cosentino ]
♪ Oh my, my, what have we done? ♪
♪ Guess we had a little too much fun ♪
♪ What goes down goes up again ♪
♪ Don't you worry about me, my friend ♪
♪ Boot and rally, boot and rally ♪
♪ Brother, my brother, my oldest friend ♪
♪ Pull yourself back up again ♪
♪ Don't you be no graveyard man ♪
♪ Time to finish what you began ♪
♪ Boot and rally, boot and rally ♪
♪ Boot and rally. ♪
[ ♪ Let's Boot and Rally ♪ sung by Iggy Pop. feat Bethany Cosentino ]
== original sync & corrections by elderman == == re-sync to WEB-DL by me ==