Ah, we're early.
Good.
Could've slept an extra 20 minutes, man.
Well, now we have plenty of time to eat our breakfast.
Huh? What do you want,
you want the onion or do you want the everything?
I know what you want, you want that everything.
There you go. Eat that up.
Okay.
Uh, there's no cream cheese.
Well, they must have forgotten it. And you forgot to check
because you were in such a rush to get here
so we could be early, right?
Well, being early is not going to kill you, Travis.
You know what I'm going to do? Take a nap.
Wait for everyone else to get here.
You know, being early is better than being late.
I don't want to be late. I want to be on time.
If you don't leave yourself a cushion
and something goes wrong, then you are late.
Wes, something going wrong
is a perfectly valid excuse to be late.
Good morning!
I love it when my clients are eager
to get started. Ah, yes.
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
if you're not early, you're late.
Uh, maybe two to three times a week.
Per week?!
Oh, to be young.
Just tell us, have you two had sex yet today?
Wes?
I respect everyone here, but this conversation
doesn't apply to us.
We don't live together.
We have romantic relationships outside of this room.
- We're not a couple. - All right.
Not in the traditional sense, but you're a partnership.
And you're having partnership issues,
which is why you're here.
Look, you can play whatever word games you want here.
No. No. Yeah.
♪ ♪
Listen to this:
"Cooper was unique in major bank robbers in that he
successfully pulled off his theft alone."
Well, the robbery was successful.
The escape left something to be desired.
Cooper here's a genuine star.
All the inmates loved him.
Sounds like you want an autograph, Opie.
Your ass is still mine, convict. Whatever you say, Red
You really think the money's hidden all the way out here?
My bet is this is all just an excuse
to get a little fresh air.
No money, no deal.
It's a lot of money. People missed it.
What deal did you give him?
He'll be out in five with good behavior.
Good behavior...
See, that's always been a problem for me.
Up on the right, boys.
Is that it?
Hah! Just like I told you.
Come see for yourself.
Here we are, boys.
Hello, beautiful.
Let's see it.
You got it.
Everybody back up.
Weapons down-- on the ground.
I am not kidding.
Hey!
Rest of you guys, guns on the ground.
Do it!
Grenade!
♪Common Law 1x09 ♪ Odd Couples Original Air Date on July 20, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
♪
Ten years ago, Cooper Williams took
five million dollars in cash from a bank in Century City.
Now, we caught him a half an hour later.
But we never found the money.
Hm.
Probably heard that he escaped this weekend,
and our friends at the FBI have asked for our help.
I don't have any friends in the FBI.
Yeah, just once, I want to dump a case on them.
Yeah.
Cooper shot a cop while he was escaping.
Last person to see him was the DA, who he kidnapped
and then kicked out of the car at Lancaster.
On the slight chance that this money
might still be in Los Angeles,
they figure he'll come back for it.
Now, Kate and Amy,
I want you to look up some of Cooper's old associates.
There's also a book written about him.
Travis, Wes, go to see the author
and see if she can give us some insight, huh?
Let me see the picture.
Seven...
Well, I took two off because it's probably airbrushed.
Stop talking. You're a pig.
You know you can report him for sexual harassment.
Oh, thanks for your support.
You're welcome. Get out.
Okay. Yes sir.
I've written about a lot of crimes.
But I've never been in the middle
of an active investigation.
Have you heard from him? Me? Oh, gosh, no.
I wish.
Well, I mean, that would be good publicity for the book.
But, um, why would he contact me?
He doesn't know anybody on the outside.
And you spent all that time interviewing him.
Why would he risk getting caught by coming back to Los Angeles?
Yeah, I'm sure you're right, but we have to do this.
So, do you have any idea where he'd go if he did get out?
Look, I hate to say this, but I think you guys
are wasting your time.
This guy is a genius.
My partner thinks he's a genius.
Look, I've interviewed hundreds of criminals,
And he is the smartest one by far.
He his five million dollars in half an hour
in one of the most populated cities
- and no one's ever found it. - Yeah...
Well, you may think it'd be a great idea for your book
if he did contact you, but remember,
this is a dangerous armed felon.
If you hear from him, you let us know, okay?
Promise. But I don't think I'm going to hear from him.
He's... A genius. Got it.
Something about this writer that bothers me.
Just because a woman doesn't respond to your advances,
doesn't mean there's something wrong with her.
The way she talked about him, it wasn't
author-subject, you know? He's a genius, all that crap.
I think there's more.
Meanwhile, back at the evidence...
I went full-out, Wes-- I gave her the smile,
the eye contact, the empathetic nods...
Far be it for me to discredit the forensic value
of the empathetic nod.
I'm telling you, if there was anything in there,
they would have found the cash 10 years ago.
Oh, yeah? So, you're saying your not smarter
than any other cop that's worked this case?
I'm smarter than at least one.
Okay, robber here, caught here.
Which means Cooper couldn't have gone
outside this area to hide his money.
You're already wrong.
The money had to be at least 50 pounds. Thank you.
A man can't run much farther than that with that much weight.
Five million dollars weighs 110 pounds exactly.
Just... let me finish. How do you...
So he couldn't have gone any further that that.
But after he dumped it, he still had to
make it to where he was caught.
And that's a row of office buildings.
What'd he do, hide it in a plant for ten years?
Yeah, I don't know. But I just
turned your big-ass circle into one square block.
Here's the money.
Yeah, if it's anywhere.
That's a lot of office buildings. Yeah, but what isn't there?
The Spencer building, that big hideous glass building.
Oh, right, okay.
It says here, construction started in November of '01.
Okay, that's three months before the robbery.
Mm-hm.
So if Cooper's back in town, that's where he's going.
Glad I solved it. No wait-wait-wait-wait-wait...
You gave up like three minutes ago.
And then I solved it. Yeah.
I'm a wizard.
I am videotaping our next conversation.
Keep it out front. We're LAPD.
You just going to go knocking on walls?
Well, we'll take a look downstairs,
find out if anyone's seen him.
Yeah, it's a long shot.
No, it's the only shot we got.
How you doing today?
I'd rather be outside.
But other than that, I'm all right.
Mm! I hear that.
Oh, the empathetic head nod.
Good God.
We're detectives with the LAPD
and we'd like to see your basement.
Yeah, knock yourself out.
The other detective, he's already down there.
I can't believe I was right.
Say it again, I'm going to shoot you.
If I were dead, you'd finally be a better cop than me.
You all right?!
Cooper?!
Go! Go!
- Fire alarm... - LAPD! Move! Move!
LAPD!
Where is it?! Where is it?!
Nice work, gentlemen.
Did they valet your car?
Please tell me they valeted your car.
Okay, a little respect here.
We solved a 10-year-old case in five minutes.
"From the moment Cooper strode into the room,
"you could tell he was different.
"He had the breezy insouciance
of a movie star who just won his third Oscar."
Wow, that is bad writing.
W-W-Wait, this is why I got nothing from her, man.
She's in love with him.
A woman turning you down isn't evidence of anything.
But taste.
A guy's in prison for years,
this ten walks in and fawns all over... Thought she was a seven.
It's a prison ten.
It makes sense.
She's his only connection on the outside.
And she's clearly crazy for him. Says you.
Hey, Captain, we, uh, wanted to... Shh!
On your case...
I found the car.
It was dumped by a Metro station
about two miles from where you lost them.
- No sign of Cooper. - We were close.
Almost good work, boys.
Thanks, Cap. Amazing you got what you did.
We were... Almost caught him, I know.
Any ideas how we can catch him for reals?
Nothing...
solid... no.
Except for the author-- Lisa Clark.
We, uh, we think there's a relationship there.
We think he may try to make contact; try to use her.
It's possible. Thanks for the support.
I said it's possible.
No, no, no, I'm not appreciated.
- Give me a break. It's your support. - Thank you, so supportive.
- Nah, well, I try... - You were right once.
All right, so you got it.
We'll set up surveillance and split the shifts
with Kate and Amy.
Captain, we feel good about this, don't we, partner?
Yeah. All right, fellas, look,
this is a textbook example
of a challenging task.
What do you say?
We close our eyes, and we visualize
a positive outcome together.
Come on.
Hey, sweetheart.
How's your day going?
Good, good.
Hey, listen, I been thinking, uh,
after I was meditating, and I had an epiphany.
How about you and I have a date night?
It's our best executive unit.
Everything is top of the line.
Oh, there is one thing:
The sauna's being retiled.
Hm.
- So? - It's just, um...
Male tenants living together tend to enjoy the sauna.
Hm.
Um...
We're not... Sauna people, no.
Girl, he gets a heat rash, oh.
Don't you?
My little sensitive man.
I'll let you boys settle in.
Why are you pretending we're gay? Will you stop it?
It's our cover.
Now, no one knows we're cops.
Great.
All right, the home phone and the cell phone
are already tapped.
Our tech overheard her saying she's got
a doctor's appointment
this afternoon, so we can get on in there
and plant a bug then.
Yes, I did get a warrant.
Even though, no, you don't care.
All right.
So, I've got our friend at her computer.
And, uh...
Ooh, it's yoga time!
While she's writing?
No, it's her neighbor.
Travis, now what you're doing is illegal.
Ooh, Ooh...
This should be illegal what she is doing to me-- uh!
Man, if I bent like that, I'd snap in half.
Bird of Paradise pose.
She needs to drop her hip and point her toes.
You can take the joy out of anything.
Thank you.
Man, you cook this well and still can't get a woman?
You know how to bury a compliment.
And I've cooked for you before. With Alex, but...
I always thought she did the cooking
and you took all the credit.
Lisa's on the move.
Carter, this is Mitchell.
Target is leaving her apartment.
We'll pick her up when she clears the building.
All right, copy that.
All right, that should buy us at least a half an hour.
She's leaving early. I knew I didn't like her.
Okay, now listen to me. You listening?
Mm-hm.
This is not a toy; this is a delicate tool.
Do not scrunch, twist, crinkle, bend...
I've planted a bug before.
Can you at least wash your hands first?
Yeah, all right. That's delicate.
Yeah... all right.
I'll be back.
Just, uh...
Just leave that anywhere, Travis.
No, I'll get it later.
Okay... now we're going to plant this bug,
and we're going to get out of there...
Right, Travis?
Travis?
Travis, can you hear me?
Yeah.
Put in your earpiece!
Okay, can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you. Testing...
Please don't say testing, one, two... One, two, three...
Where you going?
Why are you going into the kitchen?
See if she's got some of these cookies.
Travis, you can't go in for cookies right now.
We're on a stakeout. You're planting a bug.
We're on a schedule. You got to do this thing.
Okay...
When you're finished with your cookies,
remember to put this thing someplace high up.
Preferably not near a wire in the wall.
Bingo.
Letters from Cooper.
All right. Anything interesting?
Well, they were all read by the prison,
so there wouldn't be.
But the fact that she kept them proves my point.
Mitchell. Mitchell. You there?
Target just turned around and is heading home.
All right, copy that.
Hey, Travis, you got to get out of there.
She's on her way back to the apartment.
You got to hurry hurry, okay?
Come on, get it, get it, get it going.
You got it up there?
Travis?
Travis, I'm not getting anything out of your microphone.
You want to check your mic?
Check your mic! I don't know what you're saying!
Tra... something's wrong with your microphone.
Check your mic.
What is in that?!
Why are you holding that?!
Put it down! Get out of the apartment.
I don't know why you're shaking the box around.
What does that mean? I can't...
I heard that. Are you...?
Are you moving your lips right now?
You're not saying anything?
Good work, Detective. Good work.
Okay, all right, where's the remote?
You know, this thing goes in a cradle.
Can I just tell you, you've outdone yourself.
I mean, you should have your own show,
The Anal Chef.
Don't miss.
Are you expecting anyone?
Kate and Amy aren't supposed to be here till 10:00.
Mr. T!
Let's get this party started.
Captain.
Hey, Wes, my man.
Ah, you guys ate already.
Eh, that's all right.
I bet I can finish this chicken all on my own.
Is there really a winner in a bet like that, Cap?
Any progress?
Not really, no.
Uh, kind of a dead end.
Drink up, me hearties.
Probably shouldn't on duty.
Near beer.
Come on, what kind of a captain do you think I am?
Everything okay at home, sir?
You kiddin' me? Couldn't be better.
This therapy saved our lives.
I don't have to tell you guys that.
No, no, you don't, uh, 'cause you forced us to go.
- "Forced" is a strong word. - It is a strong word.
It is. It's what happened, though.
When is he going to leave? I don't think he ever is.
If you're wrong about this and Cooper
never tries to contact Lisa,
we're stuck with him, forever.
No, no, no, don't even say that. Don't even put
that thought out there in the universe.
Hey, boys, we're going to need some more beer.
I'll go! No, I'll go get that for ya.
Don't you dare go get that....
What, the hell you will, shoot for it.
No!
Wes, my man.
Park it.
So, you were telling me about your parents.
Was I?
Kind of doubt it.
Probably wouldn't surprise you to find out
that my old man was a heavy drinker, huh?
I mean, I told him I loved him once.
I actually said the words,
"I love you," to which he responded, "I love food, too."
He never let me in.
Never once.
- Hey, Cap, was that a call? - Pizza's on his way up, ma'am.
Nah, it's just the doorman letting the pizza guy up.
Did she call for a pizza?
Travis, you better get in there.
Guy just delivered pizza.
It could be Cooper.
Freeze.
Don't move. Don't move.
I've got like three bucks.
Take it.
All right, just relax.
I'm a cop.
Yeah, 'cause police never shoot anyone.
Okay.
Who put the note in the box?
Some guy was waiting for me outside the shop.
He gave me 100 bucks to put it in here.
Whoa.
You told me you only had three dollars, you little liar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Now, here's what you're going to do.
You're going to take this box, you're going to
deliver it to the person who ordered it,
and you're not going to tell her anything about us.
You understand?
Put the microphone pen on him so he doesn't talk.
Microphone pen? Yeah.
We only have one microphone pen.
You sure you want to waste it? They're expensive.
Put it on him. He's a liar. Hey, all right. Relax.
Remember.
We're listening.
Cooper sent a note.
What'd it say?
It said, "Meet me in MacArthur Park
at 6:00 p.m. tomorrow."
Yep.
Travis, you were right-- she's in on it.
Was I?
I guess I was.
Listen, I'm not going to gloat about it, guys, all right?
Thank you.
So I'll just simply say, uh, you know...
Touchdown!
Are you done?
Wait.
I'm done now.
Uh, before we get started,
I did want to check in on a couple of things.
Clyde, how is our new strategy going?
It's not bad.
Uh, every time I get a, uh, frustrated thought,
I count to ten before I say it.
Oh, no, no, no, we're still having the same fights.
They're just lasting longer now.
Clyde, would you say that was fair?
Oh. He's counting.
Still a little work to do.
I, uh... I've got something.
Wes and I have moved in together.
Hey! Congrats.
Well, we're working on a stakeout together.
Not really living together.
Either way,
I see it as an opportunity to work
on some of the roadblocks the two of you have.
- How is it going? - It's been...
it's been great. It's been great.
Let's... you know what, let's start with his cooking.
Ladies, don't let Wes cook for your husbands,
or you'll lose them.
And, I mean, I'm... I'm that guy
who's always lived alone,
but there's something great about being able
to flip on the game and having someone there
to argue about it with.
You done? Yeah.
I don't want, uh, anyone in the room
to think I'm exaggerating here
when I say that Travis...
Travis here is, uh, the worst roommate
anyone has ever had.
He never offered to help
with the cooking or the shopping.
I guess he figures there's some magical kitchen elf
that just makes food appear.
That's not...
When the meal is done,
he just, uh, drops the plate wherever he's standing.
I guess he wants me to clean that up.
The only time he's seen the inside of the kitchen
is, uh, when he hid in there when we had a guest.
Okay, you hid in there, too, man.
I practically live in there!
Glasses sweating
all over every tabletop.
Used tissues littering the room.
He is like this selfish,
destructive... monster
just leaving a trail of carnage in his wake.
And the worst part about it is,
I've seen his apartment, and it's spotless.
He knows how to clean-- or maybe he makes
the parade of women he has over there clean up for him.
Okay.
Well, I think it's fair to say
that you both had different experiences.
And you've been silently harboring all of this,
just waiting
to vomit it all out in therapy.
No wonder you and Alex didn't work out.
Nobody has any idea what you're thinking!
Should I start talking about how it went
putting on my listening ears this week?
Hey, guys.
Totally quiet.
We'll set up
in the park about 5:30.
FBI is set up in the hotel across the street.
They've got agents as homeless guys.
Whole nine yards.
Good. Fine.
Everything all right with you two?
Good. Fine.
Okay.
Have fun locked up here together all day.
I'll be in the kitchen.
Let me know if you need any help finding it.
With the Marcelini team
taking a nice lead as a group,
two-three coming off a downward trend there.
They had a great climbing day yesterday.
Really worked as a team really well
and got Marcelini right in front.
If you're waiting for me to clean up,
you can keep waiting.
That's great.
I love it like this.
...that long, uphill stretch.
What'd you do to the TV?
Did you do something to the remote?
Hmm?
Oh, you took the batteries out.
Okay.
That's fine.
Um, I like bike...
the Tour de Whatever.
You hate it.
Which makes me love it more.
Don't you touch it.
Hey, Ice King, not everybody
wants to see their breath indoors.
It's a perfect 72 degrees in here right now.
Not anymore.
Travis, if you're cold,
you can put another layer on.
If I'm hot, I got to suffer.
You what?
I suffer.
We can do it all day.
I'll do it all day, man.
Ow.
What is that?
Chicken parm.
Isn't that, uh... isn't that your favorite?
I suppose you didn't make me any.
Good work, Detective.
She's going.
Early again.
You must love her.
Good God.
Needs salt.
FBI in position.
LAPD in position.
Amy, you got eyes on her?
We got her.
Okay.
So, she was a little squirrelly on the ride over here.
Something might be off. Uh-huh.
We definitely shouldn't move in
till we know it's, uh, Cooper, all right?
Mm-hmm.
Good talk.
You both really blend in here nicely.
Hey, I got a jogger.
All agents, this is Valtini.
Get ready to move in on my...
Can we just make sure?
Is it him? Is it Cooper?
I can't get a clear view.
I see him.
It's not him. Repeat, not Cooper.
Pick him up. Make sure.
She's heading back to her car.
We'll stay with her.
Thanks for wasting our time.
You see what's going on here?
She's playing us, man.
She's testing to see if she's being followed.
What happened in here?
Do you slobs expect us to clean up after you?
I'm teaching Travis a lesson.
I'm driving Wes crazy
while he's trying to teach Travis a lesson.
It's like a million degrees in here.
Seriously?
Hey. You weren't here.
You don't know what he's like.
So, what was all that in the park?
I think it was a test.
We know this Cooper's careful.
He wanted to make sure Lisa wasn't being followed,
so he set this whole thing up.
- Did someone buzz up? - No, no calls.
It's him. Cooper's in the apartment.
What just happened?
She shot him.
Self-defense?
You murdered him in cold blood.
I was watching.
You two warned me.
This was a dangerous felon.
Now, I keep a registered gun,
and when he showed up
and lunged at me, I defended myself.
He opened his arms to hug you.
And he looked confused,
and you shot him.
Maybe that's what it looked like,
but it's not what happened.
What about the note in the pizza
and the meet in the park?
I'm a crime writer.
You wouldn't believe the kooky ways
people try to get in contact with me.
You saved the note.
Well, I save all the letters I get.
You never know what will come in handy.
Here's what I think.
I think you two fell in love.
He breaks out-- hell, maybe you help him break out.
Maybe you planted that gun.
And when he busts out and gets the money and he comes to you
and says "Let's run away together," you think,
"What kind of life is living on the run?
If I shoot him, I get all the money."
I know how this all must look,
but I'm as surprised as you are that he showed up.
Sorry.
You have any questions, partner?
No, I'm good.
Hey, I saw her murder him.
If I tried to indict her,
I'd get laughed out of the grand jury.
You have a cop as an eyewitness!
I've got an escaped con carrying a gun
breaking into her apartment.
Okay, what about the money?
That's the FBI's problem.
Missing money's still missing money.
Captain, I'm telling you, there is more to this
You got to believe me.
I'm sorry, guys.
You got Cooper.
And your instincts were right.
Travis.
What? What are we gonna do?
We? You could try having my back.
I just witnessed a murder.
You're not gonna get a conviction,
and the DA just said he doesn't care.
You know what, man?
You haven't had my back this entire case.
If you have a theory,
I'd run it into the ground with you.
I might argue with you, yeah, but I'd have your back.
As a your partner, you gotta let this thing go.
All we have to do is stay on her
and see if she's goes for the cash.
You better hurry, because she just left.
Where you going?
To stake out the pizza place. Travis...
I don't care what she says, Wes, all right?
I know Cooper sent that note. And if I were him,
and I wanted to hide a message in a pizza box, I would order it
from the nearest place to where I'm hiding.
I'm betting anything the money is still around there somewhere.
It's just a "feeling," but I'm pretty sure I'm right about it.
All right, let's go. No, no.
Do not do me any favors.
How we doing over here, Mike?
Any word from your wife yet?
She'll be here. Traffic. A few minutes, huh?
It's been over an hour,
and we're getting pretty backed up.
Is there any chance I can get you to wait at the bar?
I'll get you another order of gnocchi on the house.
Look, just give her a few more minutes, huh?
Just, just hold on. Oop!
Ah, here she is. Hey!
Yeah, I figured traffic. What?
Sure.
Hey, look, I got a bottle of wine chilling here.
Oh.
I'll see you when you get home.
She, uh...
Caught in traffic.
Yeah.
Look, I'll take that gnocchi to go, huh?
Of course.
Is this a bad time?
That, that's not gonna end well.
Hands up.
You know the drill.
Hands up. You know the drill.
One-hand cuffing, huh? You police?
Prison guard.
I see.
Oh, I see, okay.
The author comes to prison
to interview the inmate for her new book.
You get to know the prison guard
who's there for all the interviews.
The prisoner has a bunch of money hidden somewhere,
and you two get to thinking,
"Hmm, maybe we could get our hands on it."
Congrats. You almost solved the crime.
I've been getting a lot of that lately.
Dude, she used you to help Cooper escape.
She didn't use me. It was my idea.
Oh, she let you think that, too, huh?
Put him in the car. We can't shoot him here.
Let's go.
All right, let me see those hands.
Get 'em up!
Get her! Get her!
Hey, guys, we found your money. It's right here.
Yeah, no need to thank us.
We're happy to help out.
I hate the FBI.
Look, uh, you were right.
You would have had my back.
I'm just happy that I was right.
About everything.
Well, let's not forget about who got the money,
who saved your ass. Yeah, you cut it
a little close though, didn't ya? Well, I saw her
pull that gun on you, I figured I'd give you
a little distraction. Worked out nicely.
Yeah, but if you'd been there a few minutes earlier,
I might not have had a gun on me at all.
Well, my partner taught me that being late's as good as being early.
Oh, that is absolutely not what I said.
That's not what you said? That's not what I said.
I thought... What did you say? No, what I said was that...
See? You don't even know what you said.
Hey, I have something to say to you.
Oh-oh.
You are a horrible roommate.
and a terrible cook, but
you really pushed this case along
and you got good instincts.
I'm gonna do what I can to support that in the future.
No, you're not.
Hey...
you know how you said
that my place is spotless in therapy?
Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about that. I was...
Wes...
my home is permanent.
It's mine, man.
I know it can never be taken away from me,
so I take care of it.
Growing up in foster homes...
I always knew it was just a temporary stop
on my way to the next one.
And I guess I figured that if I cared about it...
I'd get real messed up when I had to leave.
Yeah, I get that.
All right.
Crap, you know what? I forgot my keys.
I'll see you down there, okay?
All right, cool.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==