1 00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:07,099 Previously on Bunheads... 2 00:00:07,134 --> 00:00:08,304 You're her. 3 00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:11,472 - I'm...? - The pole dancer from Reno. 4 00:00:11,473 --> 00:00:13,441 I'm not a pole dancer. Who said I was a pole dancer? 5 00:00:13,442 --> 00:00:15,875 - Who are you? - She is my daughter-in-law. 6 00:00:15,876 --> 00:00:17,711 They got married in Las Vegas. 7 00:00:17,712 --> 00:00:19,946 - Hi, Talia. - Tell me everything. 8 00:00:19,947 --> 00:00:22,949 We got here, he got in a car accident and now he's dead. 9 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:25,218 - You should go up front today. - What? No. 10 00:00:25,219 --> 00:00:28,121 - Come on! - I don't stand in the front, Melanie, ever. 11 00:00:28,122 --> 00:00:30,056 Well, you should today. 12 00:00:30,057 --> 00:00:32,424 So you can dance in front of my brother. 13 00:00:32,425 --> 00:00:34,860 If Charlie wants to notice me, he can notice me back here. 14 00:00:34,861 --> 00:00:36,862 - In the back. - He's not that observant. 15 00:00:36,863 --> 00:00:39,732 - I think my dad's gay. - Based on what? 16 00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:41,233 Just a feeling. 17 00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:43,702 He won't come out. Thinks it's a giant secret 18 00:00:43,703 --> 00:00:45,571 but everyone knows. It's too bad... 19 00:00:45,572 --> 00:00:48,606 there's some lovely single gay men in this town. 20 00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:52,710 And Sasha would be so much happier if he smiled once in a while. 21 00:00:52,711 --> 00:00:55,747 It's pretty late. Do you parents know where you are? 22 00:00:55,748 --> 00:00:58,149 - Nope! - Fanny: And it was fun! 23 00:00:58,150 --> 00:01:01,218 Putting it together, working with the kids. 24 00:01:02,655 --> 00:01:05,522 You know, just because you teach doesn't mean it's over. 25 00:01:08,926 --> 00:01:10,460 Michelle: Hey! 26 00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,930 Did someone see the Virgin Mary in the rosin box again? 27 00:01:13,931 --> 00:01:15,932 One time and I never said I was sure. 28 00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:17,768 - The door's locked. - Right, that's what people do 29 00:01:17,769 --> 00:01:19,902 when they don't want you to come in and touch their stuff. 30 00:01:19,903 --> 00:01:23,005 Class is at 10:00 and it's always open a half hour early so we can warm up. 31 00:01:23,006 --> 00:01:25,675 - Is Fanny in there? - Why would she be in there if it's locked? 32 00:01:25,676 --> 00:01:28,511 - Well, maybe she didn't unlock it for a reason. - What reason? 33 00:01:28,512 --> 00:01:30,446 Well maybe she's testing to see 34 00:01:30,447 --> 00:01:32,415 how dedicated you are to ballet. 35 00:01:32,416 --> 00:01:34,116 - What? - How bad you want it. 36 00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:36,484 - What are you talking about? - Well, the door is locked 37 00:01:36,485 --> 00:01:38,820 and the only way to get more ballet is to find another way in. 38 00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:41,923 Are you willing to dig a tunnel under the studio with nothing but a plastic spoon, 39 00:01:41,924 --> 00:01:45,092 and then cut a giant hole in the floor with the chain saw you dragged along, 40 00:01:45,093 --> 00:01:48,363 and then once inside, repair the floor with nothing more than a glue gun, 41 00:01:48,364 --> 00:01:50,832 some Bobby pins and your wits? 44 00:01:57,271 --> 00:01:59,406 - Fanny! - Oh gee, calling out! 45 00:01:59,407 --> 00:02:01,908 - We should have thought of that. - Hey, you'd better watch it. 46 00:02:01,909 --> 00:02:04,878 With snark like that you'll wind up with your own dirty-girl sitcom on N.B.C. 47 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:06,447 - I'll be right back. - Where are you going? 48 00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:08,715 To find you a teacher, grasshopper. 49 00:02:13,019 --> 00:02:15,020 - Woman: I liked it. - Woman #2: You did? 50 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:16,188 - I did. - But why? 51 00:02:16,189 --> 00:02:18,491 The emotional struggle between right or wrong? 52 00:02:18,492 --> 00:02:20,626 A woman wrestling with her own identity? 53 00:02:20,627 --> 00:02:22,362 - 'Cause it's dirty. - What? 54 00:02:22,363 --> 00:02:24,128 I like my books dirty. 55 00:02:24,129 --> 00:02:26,665 - I need a better reason than that. - I do not have one. 56 00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:28,967 It's a national phenomenon. That's a reason. 57 00:02:28,968 --> 00:02:31,169 - Not to read a book. - Look, I don't need a reason. 58 00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:34,305 When Judy Blume put out that book "Wifey," I was first in line to buy it. 59 00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:36,107 Why? It's dirty. The woman who gave you 60 00:02:36,108 --> 00:02:38,643 "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret" writes a dirty book, 61 00:02:38,644 --> 00:02:41,078 I'm going to read it. Twice... once to my kid. 62 00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:42,713 - Oh God. Truly? - Huh? 63 00:02:42,714 --> 00:02:46,049 - What about you? - Oh well, I haven't finished it yet. 64 00:02:46,050 --> 00:02:48,619 - Why not? - I'm having the tile in my bathroom re-done 65 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,788 and I didn't want the workmen to see it laying out, 66 00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,990 so I thought I'd put it in the garage, but it's not attached, 67 00:02:52,991 --> 00:02:55,892 so I walked outside and my neighbor walked by with his dog and I panicked 68 00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:59,128 and threw it in the trash. We talked for a while and I went back inside to wait, 69 00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:01,163 but his dog is old and takes a long time to... 70 00:03:01,164 --> 00:03:03,700 anyhow, I fell asleep and the next morning was trash day so... 71 00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:06,403 - Hey. - You threw away our reading assignment? 72 00:03:06,404 --> 00:03:08,705 - Not on purpose. - Book clubs have rules, Truly. 73 00:03:08,706 --> 00:03:10,973 - I know. I'm sorry. - What book are you talking about? 74 00:03:10,974 --> 00:03:12,741 - "Fifty shades of grey." - Great. 75 00:03:12,742 --> 00:03:14,910 Sorry to interrupt the end of literature as we know it, 76 00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,978 - but has anyone seen Fanny? - Oh! 77 00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,381 Am I supposed to... 78 00:03:19,382 --> 00:03:20,682 right. 79 00:03:22,318 --> 00:03:24,052 That's quite a gathering you've got there. 80 00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:25,954 - What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing. 81 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,955 So are you the official life-alert pusher? 82 00:03:27,956 --> 00:03:30,157 - Those women are smart and skilled. - And old. 83 00:03:30,158 --> 00:03:32,593 - They are not old. - Compared to you and Methuselah. 84 00:03:32,594 --> 00:03:34,595 I find their conversation stimulating. 85 00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:37,665 Woman: Truly, what kind of stone did your uncle pass last week? 86 00:03:37,666 --> 00:03:39,467 - Kidney! - Not gallstone? 87 00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:41,803 No, kidney. There's a picture of it on my phone! 88 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,003 - Wow. - Shut up. 89 00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:45,505 Gonna reminisce about the days when a cup of coffee 90 00:03:45,506 --> 00:03:47,206 - cost two bits? - It's a book club. 91 00:03:47,207 --> 00:03:48,809 - You didn't read the book. - So? 92 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,177 So you're hanging with the nickel-slot crowd, Truly. 93 00:03:51,178 --> 00:03:54,147 What am I supposed to do? Stay home alone, buy cats on the Internet? 94 00:03:54,148 --> 00:03:57,083 You're supposed to go out with people your own age, do fun things. 95 00:03:57,084 --> 00:03:58,919 - Meet guys. - You want me to be a slut like you? 96 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,053 Yes, I get a coupon to sizzler for every convert. 97 00:04:01,054 --> 00:04:03,088 Thank you for the advice, but those are my friends. 98 00:04:03,089 --> 00:04:05,390 I just think it would be good for you to hang out with people 99 00:04:05,391 --> 00:04:07,726 who remember Shaun Cassidy and not Jack Cassidy. 100 00:04:07,727 --> 00:04:08,994 - Here. - What is this? 101 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:10,796 - It's from Fanny. - Fanny? Where is she? 102 00:04:10,797 --> 00:04:12,832 - Just read it. - Truly, there's a class full of kids 103 00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,467 - locked outside the dance studio. - Keys are in the envelope. 104 00:04:15,468 --> 00:04:17,034 - But... ugh. - Read the note. 105 00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:19,938 And just so you know, these are the people that like and accept me. 106 00:04:19,939 --> 00:04:22,574 These women find me interesting and invited me into their club. 107 00:04:22,575 --> 00:04:24,202 And yes, maybe that means I have to read. 108 00:04:24,203 --> 00:04:26,177 a terrible terrible, simply awful, dreadful book, 109 00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,880 but at the end of that book is cake... And friendship, 110 00:04:28,881 --> 00:04:31,328 which is, I'm sure, something you will never understand. 111 00:04:31,329 --> 00:04:32,915 I understand cake. 112 00:04:34,418 --> 00:04:36,520 Celia needs her mylanta. 113 00:04:43,628 --> 00:04:45,762 ( Theme music playing ) 114 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:56,210 Sync and corrections by atrn97g for www.addic7ed.com 115 00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:03,554 1x06 - Movie Truck - Original air date July 23, 2012 116 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:06,481 - You're gone? - I'm not gone, I still exist. 117 00:05:06,482 --> 00:05:09,751 - I'm just not there. - You just left without saying a word. 118 00:05:09,752 --> 00:05:11,987 - I left you a note. - You left Truly a note. 119 00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:14,723 I knew you'd come into the house to mooch something from me eventually. 120 00:05:14,724 --> 00:05:16,525 - Not fair. - What did you mooch? 121 00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:19,527 Nothing. There were kids waiting outside the studio to come in. 122 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,962 - What's the point, Michelle? - The point is you have classes! 123 00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:24,164 I know. And how wonderful that you're there, 124 00:05:24,165 --> 00:05:26,333 so I can get away for a week and then you can teach them. 125 00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:30,070 - What? - It's fantastic that for once I have a little help. 126 00:05:30,071 --> 00:05:33,874 It's glorious that finally a woman in her twilight years 127 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:37,076 who hasn't had a vacation since Eisenhower was in office 128 00:05:37,077 --> 00:05:40,613 can, just for a small moment in time, get away, 129 00:05:40,614 --> 00:05:42,649 relax, recharge. 130 00:05:42,650 --> 00:05:45,451 And all while a young vibrant woman 131 00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:48,755 who normally does nothing all day but obsess over Brangelina's wedding 132 00:05:48,756 --> 00:05:51,524 - can take over. - Hey, do you know how many kids they have? 133 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:54,192 Take a walk! Buy a ring! Eat some cake! It's time. 134 00:05:54,193 --> 00:05:56,094 - I'll call you later. - But I can't teach. 135 00:05:56,095 --> 00:05:58,129 - I have plans this weekend. - What plans? 136 00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:01,433 My friend Talia is driving my car here and we're celebrating my birthday. 137 00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:04,135 We have this whole weekend road trip planned. It's gonna be big. 138 00:06:04,136 --> 00:06:06,004 - Mmm. - What? 139 00:06:06,005 --> 00:06:09,239 Haven't we passed the age where we acknowledge birthdays? 140 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,141 No, we didn't think so. 141 00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:14,244 It sounds a little sad... a woman of your age? 142 00:06:14,245 --> 00:06:15,813 How old do you think I am? 143 00:06:15,814 --> 00:06:18,348 All right. I'm sorry. I guess if you have to have 144 00:06:18,349 --> 00:06:20,350 a birthday party like an eight-year-old, 145 00:06:20,351 --> 00:06:22,753 and wear a Cinderella costume and a tiara... 146 00:06:22,754 --> 00:06:26,522 - One year! - ...Then I suppose you could do that all that at night. 147 00:06:26,523 --> 00:06:28,324 - But... - Classes are during the day. 148 00:06:28,325 --> 00:06:30,727 - But... - I'm not suggesting you sit vigil at the studio. 149 00:06:30,728 --> 00:06:33,897 I'm just saying that for once let an old woman meditate 150 00:06:33,898 --> 00:06:37,867 on the final moments she has left in this earthly realm. 151 00:06:39,136 --> 00:06:41,503 ( Sighs ) What's with the pole? 152 00:06:41,504 --> 00:06:43,305 Ah yes. It's a beauty, isn't it? 153 00:06:43,306 --> 00:06:46,308 I got to thinking about all the things you were talking about. 154 00:06:46,309 --> 00:06:50,378 And when you went on and on about that cardio-striptease class, 155 00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:52,214 well, the idea just stuck. 156 00:06:52,215 --> 00:06:54,216 When did I go on and on about cardio-striptease classes? 157 00:06:54,217 --> 00:06:55,217 - The other day. - No. 158 00:06:55,218 --> 00:06:56,183 - Yes. - No. 159 00:06:56,184 --> 00:06:57,284 - Night? - No. 160 00:06:57,285 --> 00:06:59,587 Oh, I'm sorry. That was Fergie. 161 00:06:59,588 --> 00:07:02,624 Anyhow, the idea stuck and I just ordered the pole. 162 00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:05,593 - When were you talking to Fergie? - She mentioned it on "Leno." 163 00:07:05,594 --> 00:07:07,662 Anyhow, it's a very hot trend. 164 00:07:07,663 --> 00:07:11,499 It's fun and sexy and very popular with the housewives. 165 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,101 - Like the TV show? - No, actual housewives. 166 00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:16,503 - Those still exist? - And they like to slide on poles. 167 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,506 Okay, I have no idea how to teach a cardio-striptease class. 168 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,942 There's a DVD and a book. They came with the pole. 169 00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:24,377 - ( Sarcastically ) Oh goody. - You'll learn the routine, 170 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,780 and then liven it up in your own Michelle way, I'm sure. 171 00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:29,314 You mean with sarcasm and general hostility toward the world? 172 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,316 I think it's going to be very popular. 173 00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:34,620 I put a sign-up sheet at the oyster bar for one free class, 174 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,690 and by the time Rico brought my coffee the sheet was full. 175 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:40,126 - Yeah, but, Fanny... - Enjoy your birthday. 176 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,261 Don't take pictures. 177 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,332 ( Sighs ) Okay, whatever happens next, 178 00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,969 blame Fergie. Everyone at the barre. 179 00:07:59,844 --> 00:08:01,845 - Ginny: Touch it. - No way. 180 00:08:01,846 --> 00:08:04,715 Boo, you're exposed to this stuff all the time. You work here. Try it. 181 00:08:04,716 --> 00:08:06,984 Nuh-uh, I've never seen that before. 182 00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:08,585 It's fried. How bad could it be? 183 00:08:12,523 --> 00:08:15,092 - So? - Can you speak? 184 00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:17,093 - Is it vegetable? - It's probably clams. 185 00:08:17,094 --> 00:08:19,896 Mel, just form words go on... words. 186 00:08:19,897 --> 00:08:21,564 'Cause there's lots of clams back there. 187 00:08:21,565 --> 00:08:23,532 I think she's trying to say something. 188 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:25,568 I think she's signaling for a mercy killing. 189 00:08:25,569 --> 00:08:27,469 Is her face turning a weird color? 190 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:29,138 Okay, whatever. 191 00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:31,707 So be at my house at 7:00 tonight. The movie starts at 10:00. 192 00:08:31,708 --> 00:08:33,341 And your parents will definitely be gone? 193 00:08:33,342 --> 00:08:36,111 My mom has an out-of-town conference she's dragging my dad along. 194 00:08:36,112 --> 00:08:39,314 We're looking at $60 food allowance and complete freedom till Sunday night. 195 00:08:39,315 --> 00:08:43,251 I love the movie truck... hitting different towns on different nights. 196 00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:45,687 It's so Bohemian. And Charlie's going, right? 197 00:08:45,688 --> 00:08:48,288 Yeah, Mel, did your idiot brother get us tickets yet? 198 00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:51,058 - I don't think she can talk. - Just nod your head yes or no. 199 00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:53,694 It's rated "R." Are they checking I.D.s? 200 00:08:53,695 --> 00:08:56,964 It's a movie inside a truck. I think they're just checking pulses. 201 00:08:56,965 --> 00:08:59,366 - I thought you wanted to go. - Sasha: I do, I'm just saying 202 00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:01,869 I don't think we need an elaborate plan or disguises. 203 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,804 - Charlie's feet! - Okay, we're going to need a little more. 204 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,706 It tastes exactly like Charlie's feet. 205 00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:09,809 Okay, Appalachia, how do you know what your brother's feet taste like? 206 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,778 Stop. That's rhetorical. 207 00:09:11,779 --> 00:09:13,679 I'm going home. 208 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,348 7:00 sharp. Don't be late. 209 00:09:16,751 --> 00:09:18,084 It's not bad. 210 00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:28,727 I'm not scared of you. 211 00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:32,764 You see this? 212 00:09:32,765 --> 00:09:35,099 That's a Naomi Malone. Intimidating, right? 213 00:09:49,147 --> 00:09:51,181 Make it rain! 214 00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:05,060 - Ahhh. - I'm sorry, you leave Vegas 215 00:10:05,061 --> 00:10:07,596 - then wind up on the pole? - Talia! 216 00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:10,166 Talia, Talia... 217 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,634 oh God, Talia! 218 00:10:12,635 --> 00:10:14,904 - ( Laughs ) Hi! - Hi! 219 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,173 Hi! 220 00:10:17,174 --> 00:10:18,639 Hi! How's Boris? 221 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,574 Your car? I thought you named it Kyle. 222 00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:22,710 - No, that was a boyfriend. - Kyle wasn't a car? 223 00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:24,545 He had Miles on him, but he was human. 224 00:10:24,546 --> 00:10:27,849 Well, Boris is fine. And I come bearing a surprise gift. 225 00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:31,186 - Your last check from the show. - Cool! Wow. 226 00:10:31,187 --> 00:10:32,954 - Weird. - Why? 227 00:10:32,955 --> 00:10:35,923 It's my last check, it's just... it's like... reality. 228 00:10:35,924 --> 00:10:38,591 I'm finally realizing no more spangles in my butt crack. 229 00:10:38,592 --> 00:10:41,829 That phrase has never been said so wistfully before, like ever. 230 00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:44,298 - What should I do with it? Hoard it? Frame it? - Blow it? 231 00:10:44,299 --> 00:10:46,867 And we'll be right back with more from "the Suze Orman show." 232 00:10:46,868 --> 00:10:49,703 We're spending it... every cent. Birthday road trip 233 00:10:49,704 --> 00:10:51,904 and we'll come back with not even a dime left. 234 00:10:51,905 --> 00:10:54,974 And since you're stripping now you're just one bachelor party away from being set. 235 00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:57,910 - Road trip, yeah right. - Yeah, right on! 236 00:10:57,911 --> 00:10:59,611 You know the crazy lady I live with? 237 00:10:59,612 --> 00:11:02,348 - Your mother-in-law? - Yeah well, the loon from loontown 238 00:11:02,349 --> 00:11:05,417 up and disappeared this weekend and I have to teach all her classes. 239 00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:08,320 - So that's what the pole's for? - Yeah, here at Paradise dance academy 240 00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:11,456 we specialize in girls with daddy issues, so we start 'em young. 241 00:11:11,457 --> 00:11:13,992 - So we're not road-tripping? - Mmm. 242 00:11:13,993 --> 00:11:16,061 But the good news is, according to Loony, 243 00:11:16,062 --> 00:11:18,964 we are at the age where we don't do birthdays anymore. 244 00:11:18,965 --> 00:11:20,398 - We're dead? - I guess. 245 00:11:20,399 --> 00:11:22,432 Screw that. We will always do birthdays. 246 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,534 - We'll just blow it out here in Paradise. - Really? 247 00:11:24,535 --> 00:11:27,204 Absolutely. We can look hot anywhere. 248 00:11:27,205 --> 00:11:30,540 And consider the advantages of looking as hot as we can look in this place. 249 00:11:30,541 --> 00:11:32,142 We'll knock this town on its ass 250 00:11:32,143 --> 00:11:34,245 and then kick it in the face if it even tries to fight back. 251 00:11:34,246 --> 00:11:36,347 - Oh, I've missed you so much. - Awww. 252 00:11:36,348 --> 00:11:39,682 - I want to show you my place. I have custom-made curtains. - Get out. 253 00:11:39,683 --> 00:11:41,684 - And fresh fruit in my fridge. - Who are you? 254 00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:54,167 Ha. Paradise. 255 00:11:54,193 --> 00:11:56,193 Don't let the name fool you. Seriously. Cause it's not. 256 00:11:56,219 --> 00:11:58,488 Okay, so it's quiet. Quiet is nice for a change. 257 00:11:58,489 --> 00:12:00,523 - Sure. - What's that? 258 00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:03,259 - That is the surf wax store. - What do they sell? 259 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:04,326 - Surf wax. - And? 260 00:12:04,327 --> 00:12:05,560 - Surf wax. - And? 261 00:12:05,561 --> 00:12:06,795 - Surf wax. - And? 262 00:12:06,796 --> 00:12:08,764 Surf wax. I can keep this up as long as you can. 263 00:12:08,765 --> 00:12:11,232 - Weird. - What's weirder is that it used to be a flip-flop store, 264 00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:12,801 - where they sold flip-flops. - And? 265 00:12:12,802 --> 00:12:15,637 - Really? - Hey, this looks interesting. 266 00:12:15,638 --> 00:12:17,439 - Uh, Talia? - Oh my God! 267 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,708 These clothes are so cute. C'mon. 268 00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:21,542 Let's start blowing that paycheck. 269 00:12:21,543 --> 00:12:23,411 Whoa, there, Tex. We can't go in there. 270 00:12:23,412 --> 00:12:25,379 - Why not? - You know how in a fairy tale 271 00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:28,382 there's like a bridge that leads to a castle where there's a beautiful princess 272 00:12:28,383 --> 00:12:30,150 that's locked in a tower, but there's a crazy little troll 273 00:12:30,151 --> 00:12:32,353 that lives under the bridge, and in order to rescue the princess 274 00:12:32,354 --> 00:12:33,854 - you have to deal with the troll? - Yeah. 275 00:12:33,855 --> 00:12:35,556 Welcome to Sparkles. Where the motto is 276 00:12:35,557 --> 00:12:36,889 "if you're a princess, you're screwed." 277 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:40,193 Oh my God, are those ducks on a dress? 278 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,097 Oh, these are classic. 279 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:48,901 Michelle, do you see these? Who would think to make a dress like this? 280 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:51,270 - Can I help you? - Once upon a time... 281 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,939 I was just loving the duck dress. 282 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,775 Oh, and this. 283 00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,011 And this and... oh my God. Michelle, look how cute! 284 00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:03,281 I make everything myself and I can alter anything that doesn't fit for free. 285 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,117 Gold mine. This place is a gold mine. 286 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,086 You haven't been in here for a while. 287 00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:09,821 - Uh, I've been busy... what? - ( Shrieks ) 288 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,056 The prices! Have you seen the prices? Are these the real prices? 289 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:14,124 - Yes. - Everything. We're buying everything. 290 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:16,894 Michelle, start grabbing stuff. We have a lot of trying on to do before tonight. 291 00:13:16,895 --> 00:13:18,563 Tonight? What's happening tonight? 292 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,565 - It's her birthday. - Oh. 293 00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,968 I will have a happy birthday. Thank you, Truly. 294 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,403 - What are you going to do? - Oh, we're just going to go out. 295 00:13:26,404 --> 00:13:28,505 - That sounds fun. - It's not just fun. 296 00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:30,474 The way we celebrate, it's epic. 297 00:13:30,475 --> 00:13:33,477 We're very into birthdays. This purse? I'm getting two. 298 00:13:33,478 --> 00:13:35,679 What's with the decapitated bear head? 299 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,247 - I'm making a coat. - You're kidding. 300 00:13:37,248 --> 00:13:38,682 No. Look. 301 00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:41,350 That is the most disturbed thing I think you've ever done. 302 00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:43,552 - Does it come in my size? - You want to try it on? 303 00:13:43,553 --> 00:13:47,289 - Yes. - So where are you going to go for your birthday tonight? 304 00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,057 Oh boy. We haven't figured that out yet. 305 00:13:49,058 --> 00:13:51,360 - We usually just see where the night takes us. ( Gasps ) 306 00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:54,463 Remember the time we got drunk and snuck on stage with tom Jones 307 00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:57,832 and danced for 10 minutes before he noticed we weren't supposed to be there? 308 00:13:57,833 --> 00:14:00,101 Three quarters of "Delilah" and half of "What's new, pussycat?" 309 00:14:00,102 --> 00:14:02,737 And then that lady threw that room key and it hit you in the head 310 00:14:02,738 --> 00:14:05,172 and you had to go to the hospital and get three stitches. 311 00:14:05,173 --> 00:14:08,476 But the doctor was really cute and he took us out to dinner afterwards. 312 00:14:08,477 --> 00:14:10,578 - Dr. Lobster. - Dr. Lobster. 313 00:14:10,579 --> 00:14:13,547 - That had to make the top-five birthday list, right? - Number four. 314 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:17,050 - Really, what was five? - Comic-con... princess Leia costume contest. 315 00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:19,019 - One-two sweep. - Right. Number three? 316 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:23,123 - Sneaking onto the plane with... - Bon Jovi! 317 00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:24,858 - Right. - So so right. 318 00:14:24,859 --> 00:14:26,894 - Two? - Two was when I kissed George Clooney. 319 00:14:26,895 --> 00:14:28,128 You kissed George Clooney? 320 00:14:28,129 --> 00:14:29,295 - Yeah. - What was it like? 321 00:14:29,296 --> 00:14:31,497 - Like kissing George Clooney. - And that was two? 322 00:14:31,498 --> 00:14:33,299 - Kissing George Clooney was two. - Yep. 323 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:34,600 - What was one? - Oh well, one... 324 00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:36,836 - We never talk about one. - No, it was so monumental... 325 00:14:36,837 --> 00:14:38,538 - That we don't want to repeat it. - And we can't remember it. 326 00:14:38,539 --> 00:14:40,205 For my last birthday Fanny took me 327 00:14:40,206 --> 00:14:42,708 to colonial Williamsburg. I got a bonnet. 328 00:14:42,709 --> 00:14:44,376 Oh, that sounds... 329 00:14:44,377 --> 00:14:47,746 - Vaguely amish. - I bet tonight's going to be really fun. 330 00:14:47,747 --> 00:14:50,281 - Make sure to tell me all about it. - When? 331 00:14:50,282 --> 00:14:53,117 - When we talk. - When do we talk? 332 00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:55,887 - We're talking now. - But that's 'cause she didn't understand about the troll. 333 00:14:55,888 --> 00:14:58,423 You know, sometimes when you're going out, 334 00:14:58,424 --> 00:15:02,192 the two of you, it's nice to have another person along 335 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,695 to keep an eye on your bag if you get up to dance 336 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:07,998 or to watch the bathroom door in case you need to use the men's room? 337 00:15:07,999 --> 00:15:10,768 - Uh-huh? - A third person like in "Charlie's Angels." 338 00:15:10,769 --> 00:15:14,071 - There were three of them. - Yeah, but only two stayed on the show for the entire run 339 00:15:14,072 --> 00:15:16,440 - so really there were two. - There were three in the picture. 340 00:15:16,441 --> 00:15:18,775 - But two in loyalty and spirit. - But three in reality and number. 341 00:15:18,776 --> 00:15:20,409 - I was thinking if you needed a third... - We don't. 342 00:15:20,410 --> 00:15:21,644 - ...I could come along... - Two is fine. 343 00:15:21,645 --> 00:15:22,846 ...and watch the men's room door for you. 344 00:15:22,847 --> 00:15:24,146 - You don't want to come with us. - Why not? 345 00:15:24,147 --> 00:15:25,348 - Yeah, why not? - Wow, 346 00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:27,350 are we so not communicating today. 347 00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:29,986 - You said I need to go out with people my own age. - Yeah, but not with me. 348 00:15:29,987 --> 00:15:32,388 - You're the only person my own age that I know. - But... 349 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,755 I'll give you 20% off of everything. 350 00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:36,525 - And some free mood rings. - I love mood rings. 351 00:15:36,526 --> 00:15:38,527 - Come on, she'll be handy. - How? 352 00:15:38,528 --> 00:15:42,197 Like if a button falls off or a zipper breaks, I can fix it. 353 00:15:42,198 --> 00:15:44,600 Yeah, plus she's cute. Like a purse dog. 354 00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:47,168 - It'll be like having a shih tzu. - Oh please?! 355 00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:49,236 ( Whispers ) Please let me be your shih tzu? 356 00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:52,072 Okay, but if she's coming, we have to change the whole package. 357 00:15:52,073 --> 00:15:54,208 I don't know what that means, but let's do it! 358 00:15:56,177 --> 00:15:58,679 - I should not have worn these shoes. - They're cute. 359 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,681 They're tight and they make me walk funny. 360 00:16:00,682 --> 00:16:02,316 - They make you walk sexy. - Really? 361 00:16:02,317 --> 00:16:03,951 - In a Hanna-Barbera kind of way. - Huh? 362 00:16:03,952 --> 00:16:05,819 You'll be doing a lot of sitting. 363 00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:08,021 - Woman: Tell me again that I'm crazy! - Man: You're crazy! 364 00:16:08,022 --> 00:16:10,557 - Woman: When I have nothing but proof on my side?! - Man: What proof? 365 00:16:10,558 --> 00:16:12,892 - What do we do? - I guess we knock? 366 00:16:12,893 --> 00:16:14,894 - Man: What are you doing? - Woman: I can't be held accountable for my actions. 367 00:16:14,895 --> 00:16:16,996 - Apparently I'm crazy! No! - Man: Put that down! 368 00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:19,064 ( Ceramic shatters ) Man: That's Jonathan Adler, you lunatic! 369 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,633 - You first. - I'm not going to knock. 370 00:16:20,634 --> 00:16:23,002 - We can't just stand here. - Should we go? 371 00:16:23,003 --> 00:16:25,037 - What are you doing? - I'm texting Sasha. 372 00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:27,339 Woman: You come over here and you say that to my face! 373 00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:30,041 Oh, I hope he doesn't come over here and say that to her face. 374 00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:32,577 ( Door opens ) Get in. 375 00:16:32,578 --> 00:16:35,713 Move quickly up the stairs, do not say a word. 376 00:16:35,714 --> 00:16:37,916 - Come on, Boo. - Woman: And who, for the love of God, 377 00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:41,218 - needs this many throw pillows?! - Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Torres. 378 00:16:41,219 --> 00:16:43,921 - Boo! - I didn't want to be rude. 379 00:16:51,105 --> 00:16:52,305 - Ow. - Sorry. 380 00:16:52,306 --> 00:16:53,673 - Ow! - Sorry. 381 00:16:53,674 --> 00:16:54,941 - Ow! - Sorry. 382 00:16:54,942 --> 00:16:56,877 She's going to be sorry for the next 40 plucks. 383 00:16:56,878 --> 00:16:58,811 Just issue a blanket apology and move on. 384 00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:01,046 ( Yelling continues ) What's up with you? 385 00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:03,315 I don't know why you're plucking your eyebrows if you can't take the pain. 386 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,317 Because Charlie is going to be there tonight 387 00:17:05,318 --> 00:17:07,653 and Ginny's going to make me look like Dita Von Teese. 388 00:17:07,654 --> 00:17:08,754 - Wait, I am? - Aren't you? 389 00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:10,656 I thought I was making you look like Kat Von D. 390 00:17:10,657 --> 00:17:13,125 - I thought Charlie liked Dita Von Teese. - Who does Charlie like? 391 00:17:13,126 --> 00:17:15,627 - Neo from The Matrix. - Okay, never mind. 392 00:17:15,628 --> 00:17:17,495 They're almost the same person. I'll do a combo. 393 00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:20,097 Almost done, now I just need my accent color. ( Yelling continuing ) 394 00:17:20,098 --> 00:17:21,999 What time is it? We need to leave. 395 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,402 - Maybe they're not going to go out. - Oh, they're going out. 396 00:17:24,403 --> 00:17:27,004 This is a work thing. My mother never misses a work thing. 397 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,373 She'd rather let her roots grow out than miss a work thing. 398 00:17:29,374 --> 00:17:32,242 - Maybe gold. - Melanie, painting your pinky another color 399 00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:35,345 doesn't look like an accent. It just looks like you ran out of polish. 400 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:38,749 - I didn't invent the concept. - Even worse... you're copying someone else's moronic idea. 401 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,551 Wow, pleasant person, party of one. 402 00:17:40,552 --> 00:17:42,653 Woman: Sasha! Come down here please! 403 00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,321 Great. 404 00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:48,858 I know they fight a lot, but this one sounds bad. 405 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,160 - I wonder if it's about the Timothy situation. - Must be. 406 00:17:51,161 --> 00:17:52,795 - We don't know if that's true or not. - We know. 407 00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:55,498 - Everyone knows. - Sasha's dad and Timothy Marsh are boyfriends. 408 00:17:55,499 --> 00:17:56,799 - They're in love. - Forbidden love. 409 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,334 - Forbidden by who? - Sasha's mom. 410 00:17:58,335 --> 00:18:00,703 - Oh. Yeah well... - and now Timothy's moving away. 411 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,871 - And they'll never get to really be together. - Sad. 412 00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:05,206 - So so sad. - Shh! It's quiet. 413 00:18:05,207 --> 00:18:07,008 ( Knocks ) ( Girls yell ) 414 00:18:07,009 --> 00:18:08,810 - Everybody decent? - Josh! 415 00:18:08,811 --> 00:18:11,145 - Boo: You scared us half to death. - I did? 416 00:18:11,146 --> 00:18:13,414 - We thought you were Sasha. - Why are you scared of Sasha? 417 00:18:13,415 --> 00:18:15,650 Because she's using her parents' corpses as a couch. 418 00:18:15,651 --> 00:18:17,685 No, she's not. I just saw her. She's having a yogurt. 419 00:18:17,686 --> 00:18:19,720 - She let me in. - What are you doing here? 420 00:18:19,721 --> 00:18:22,155 - I brought you guys some overnight kits. - Josh. 421 00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:24,525 Nothing big, just some muffins, cookie dough, 422 00:18:24,526 --> 00:18:27,561 pre-loaded pez dispensers, some apples for Boo... 423 00:18:27,562 --> 00:18:30,831 - Josh! - Two decks of cards if you want to play some canasta, 424 00:18:30,832 --> 00:18:33,433 cucumber eye masks... pop them in the freezer for a few minutes 425 00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:36,469 for the best results... fuzzy socks in case your feet get cold 426 00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:39,105 - and a DVD of "Grease." - Wow, you're the only person in the world 427 00:18:39,106 --> 00:18:41,708 whose boyfriend is basically a girl. I meant that in a good way. 428 00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:45,077 - I sure hope so. - You have the best boyfriend ever. 429 00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:48,080 - I do, don't I? - Oh my God, I love cookie dough! 430 00:18:48,081 --> 00:18:50,549 - It's my crack. - You want to stay? 431 00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:53,218 Nope, it's girls' night out. I am gonna either go hit a strip club 432 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,387 or do some trig homework. I'm still debating. 433 00:18:55,388 --> 00:18:58,223 Are you sure you don't want to come to the movie with us? 434 00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:00,993 Bag. Out. 435 00:19:05,664 --> 00:19:07,865 What's going on down there? ( Crashes ) 436 00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:13,203 - My mother's redecorating. - What does that mean besides new furniture? 437 00:19:13,204 --> 00:19:15,873 - It means the idiots are not going out. - Rats! 438 00:19:15,874 --> 00:19:18,375 - Well, at least we have snacks. - And fuzzy socks. 439 00:19:18,376 --> 00:19:20,578 And we can watch "Grease"... sing-along. 440 00:19:20,579 --> 00:19:22,612 What are we, "Revenge of the nerds"? 441 00:19:22,613 --> 00:19:24,548 - We are going out. - What? 442 00:19:24,549 --> 00:19:27,050 - How? - Look, once my mother is done wrecking the joint, 443 00:19:27,051 --> 00:19:29,152 she'll take her happy bye-bye pills and go lie down. 444 00:19:29,153 --> 00:19:31,487 And then my father will go in the den, put on his headphones 445 00:19:31,488 --> 00:19:33,790 and watch old performances of his college improv group 446 00:19:33,791 --> 00:19:35,859 for the rest of the night. They'll never know we're gone. 447 00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:38,393 - But... - no buts! Now paint it if you're gonna paint it, 448 00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:41,263 pluck it if you're gonna pluck it, but get your shoes and bring the bags 449 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,665 'cause we are going out! 450 00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,002 - Come on, Truly. - No. 451 00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:49,171 - Just let us see the dress. - I can't. 452 00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:52,140 Honey, you have to come out of the dressing room if you want to watch the men's room for us. 453 00:19:52,141 --> 00:19:54,609 - I feel like a hooker. - Then we've done our job. 454 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,178 Truly! Here, boy. 455 00:19:57,179 --> 00:20:01,482 I'll give you a treat. I told you we had to change the whole package. 456 00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:04,318 Okay! Fine, I'm coming out. 457 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,590 - Wow. You look totally doable in that. - I do? 458 00:20:08,591 --> 00:20:10,457 - You do. - You sure? 459 00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:14,294 This isn't some cruel hazing ritual you've concocted to humiliate me? 460 00:20:14,295 --> 00:20:17,330 How did we not think of concocting a cruel hazing ritual to humiliate her? 461 00:20:17,331 --> 00:20:18,899 - We are so off our game. - You look great. 462 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:20,734 I do? Michelle? 463 00:20:20,735 --> 00:20:23,870 Angels, 464 00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:27,773 the mission tonight is to go out there and rock the casbah! 465 00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:29,274 - Whoo! - Both: Whoo! 466 00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:31,043 I don't know what "rock the casbah" means. 467 00:20:31,044 --> 00:20:32,678 Stick with the "whoo" instinct, Truly. 468 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,580 - Your first impulse was right on that. - Okay. 469 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,582 - Whoo! - All: Whoo! 470 00:20:43,356 --> 00:20:45,190 - Boo! - Sorry. 471 00:20:45,191 --> 00:20:47,326 Did I screw up my eyebrows? 472 00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:50,628 No. I think you look like Kat Von D. Or Dita Von Teese. 473 00:20:50,629 --> 00:20:53,098 I think I look like me with uneven eyebrows. 474 00:20:53,099 --> 00:20:55,868 Don't worry, Boo. I'm sure Charlie, like every guy in America, 475 00:20:55,869 --> 00:20:57,869 has very strong eyebrow-tweezing opinions. 476 00:20:57,870 --> 00:21:00,204 I bet he makes all his decisions based on the tweeze. 477 00:21:00,205 --> 00:21:02,874 - So are mine okay? - Sure. 478 00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:06,677 Great, the princess and all her little princess friends are here. 479 00:21:06,678 --> 00:21:09,247 - What's your problem? - We've been here for hours. 480 00:21:09,248 --> 00:21:12,116 Really? For hours? Like you've been right here for how many hours? 481 00:21:12,117 --> 00:21:14,317 - Enough hours. - You were at the house like 10 seconds ago. 482 00:21:14,318 --> 00:21:16,253 And then I came here and got your tickets 483 00:21:16,254 --> 00:21:19,122 and then waited for you with your tickets like I told you I was going to do. 484 00:21:19,123 --> 00:21:22,192 - So hand 'em over and stop bitching. - Here, now go away. 485 00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:24,961 For the rest of the night I don't know you and you don't know me. 486 00:21:24,962 --> 00:21:27,097 We look identical, moron! 487 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,700 - Boo, what are you doing? - Being invisible. 488 00:21:31,701 --> 00:21:34,736 - It's what I do best. - Can we just go inside? 489 00:21:43,613 --> 00:21:47,382 You officially suck! The place is full, 490 00:21:47,383 --> 00:21:50,718 we almost didn't find seats and the seats we do have aren't together. 491 00:21:50,719 --> 00:21:54,222 I'm never doing anything for you or your friends ever again! 492 00:21:54,223 --> 00:21:55,556 I thought you didn't know me. 493 00:21:57,126 --> 00:21:59,693 Someday, Boo, someday you will tell me what exactly you like 494 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:01,862 about my brother. Because seriously, I don't get it. 495 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:03,830 I don't think you're supposed to get it. That would be gross. 496 00:22:03,831 --> 00:22:05,999 He's right. No seats together. 497 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,501 And I'll probably end up sitting next to some loser 498 00:22:08,502 --> 00:22:11,305 who's been lifting things all day and didn't bother to shower. 499 00:22:11,306 --> 00:22:13,473 Oh my God, Debbie Downer, relax. 500 00:22:13,474 --> 00:22:15,042 - We'll get four seats together. - How? 501 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:17,977 Children. Ginny, see that seat up there next to the old guy? 502 00:22:17,978 --> 00:22:19,912 - Yeah? - Go up there and get him to move. 503 00:22:19,913 --> 00:22:22,748 - How? - He's old. You can probably just make water sounds 504 00:22:22,749 --> 00:22:25,517 and he'll have to run for the bathroom. Mel, you go up front and be tall. 505 00:22:25,518 --> 00:22:27,186 Got it, be tall. And then? 506 00:22:27,187 --> 00:22:29,855 Be tall in front of people and they will switch with you 507 00:22:29,856 --> 00:22:31,723 - and you'll end up with Ginny. - Brilliant. 508 00:22:31,724 --> 00:22:33,225 I'll go in the back and work my way forward. 509 00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:35,760 Boo, over there. Work your way in. Got it? 510 00:22:35,761 --> 00:22:37,429 Fan out and we'll meet in the middle. 511 00:22:40,299 --> 00:22:42,400 Boo: Sorry sorry. 512 00:22:49,575 --> 00:22:51,976 I could really really use some popcorn. 513 00:22:51,977 --> 00:22:55,145 Yeah, popcorn. Popcorn is awesome. I'm on it. 514 00:23:01,486 --> 00:23:02,919 Hi there. 515 00:23:11,128 --> 00:23:13,596 I know, I'm tall. Genes, right? 516 00:23:13,597 --> 00:23:15,999 The inherited ones, not the lowrise kind. 517 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,467 We could switch. I don't mind. 518 00:23:20,704 --> 00:23:23,605 Hi. I was wondering if you would... 519 00:23:23,606 --> 00:23:26,108 - What's wrong with your eyebrows? - ...Switch with me? 520 00:23:26,109 --> 00:23:28,643 Nope. ( Spits ) 521 00:23:28,644 --> 00:23:30,645 Yeah, I think it's about vampires. 522 00:23:30,646 --> 00:23:33,248 They battle flesh-eating zombies... very scary. 523 00:23:33,249 --> 00:23:36,284 Especially for children and, well, anyone with a bad ticker. 524 00:23:36,285 --> 00:23:39,220 - A bad what? - Ticker... isn't that what you call it? 525 00:23:40,788 --> 00:23:43,524 Hey, I could really use a soda. 526 00:23:45,027 --> 00:23:47,328 Not into older women, huh? 527 00:23:55,702 --> 00:23:58,571 - Why are you holding a freakin' baby? - Don't ask. 528 00:23:58,572 --> 00:24:01,374 - But how... - my last plan to switch seats backfired, okay? 529 00:24:01,375 --> 00:24:02,509 I said don't ask. 530 00:24:03,911 --> 00:24:06,812 - 60? 61? - No. 531 00:24:06,813 --> 00:24:08,881 No no. 532 00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:10,849 Please don't make me guess how old you are. 533 00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,652 Hey, I really could use some nachos. 534 00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:16,888 - So go get some. - Rats. 535 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,657 I'm gone for two seconds 536 00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,892 and you're hitting on another girl? 537 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,994 - I'm going home. - Wait! 538 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:25,364 - At the buzzer. Mel! - I wasn't talking to her. 539 00:24:25,365 --> 00:24:27,665 - Liar! - Where's Boo? 540 00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:30,068 - She hasn't moved. - She's putting down roots. 541 00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:33,404 Raising a family. 542 00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:36,441 - We gotta get rid of this guy. - He's not budging for anything. 543 00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:38,976 - We're so close. - Wait, let me try something. 544 00:24:38,977 --> 00:24:41,812 Excuse me, could we have your seat 545 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:44,181 - so we can all sit together? - Well, sure. 546 00:24:45,649 --> 00:24:49,553 - I did not think of that. - I'll text Boo. 547 00:24:54,925 --> 00:24:56,893 Charlie! Dude! 548 00:24:56,894 --> 00:24:58,194 A seat! 549 00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:00,896 Oh, um, I'll talk to you after, right? 550 00:25:00,897 --> 00:25:02,431 Sure. 551 00:25:02,432 --> 00:25:04,567 - No way. - Wow. 552 00:25:04,568 --> 00:25:08,537 - What do I do? - Stay there. 553 00:25:08,538 --> 00:25:10,506 Wait, is she still holding a baby? 554 00:25:10,507 --> 00:25:12,575 Somehow that doesn't surprise me at all. 555 00:25:12,576 --> 00:25:15,143 - ( Gasps ) Oh my God. - Hey Boo. 556 00:25:15,144 --> 00:25:17,479 Uh, hey hi. What's up? 557 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,781 - Is that a baby? - No. 558 00:25:20,782 --> 00:25:23,485 ( Cooing ) 559 00:25:28,524 --> 00:25:30,790 Okay, people, who's missing a baby? 560 00:25:33,161 --> 00:25:35,095 - Want some? - Okay. 561 00:25:37,932 --> 00:25:39,833 How is everything in this town closed by 6:00? 562 00:25:39,834 --> 00:25:41,835 Branson is open later... Branson. My God, 563 00:25:41,836 --> 00:25:44,238 even the Osmonds' dinner show doesn't start until 7:00. 564 00:25:44,239 --> 00:25:45,772 I've gotta take these shoes off. 565 00:25:45,773 --> 00:25:47,307 No no no. Party rule number one: 566 00:25:47,308 --> 00:25:49,375 Never take your shoes off until the end of the night. 567 00:25:49,376 --> 00:25:51,544 Your feet will swell and you'll never get them back on again. 568 00:25:51,545 --> 00:25:53,612 Then you're the loser carrying her shoes around. 569 00:25:53,613 --> 00:25:55,481 - Here's the movie truck. - Yay, activity. 570 00:25:55,482 --> 00:25:57,783 - Michelle: Are you kidding me? - Unbelievable. 571 00:25:57,784 --> 00:26:00,286 - Plus ticket dude's a lady. - Can't even seduce our way in. 572 00:26:00,287 --> 00:26:03,088 - Just our luck. - We could bribe her. 573 00:26:03,089 --> 00:26:04,889 - With what money? - With the money 574 00:26:04,890 --> 00:26:07,993 you were gonna use for my fabulous birthday dinner. And there's my check. 575 00:26:07,994 --> 00:26:09,594 - It's gone. - Talia. 576 00:26:09,595 --> 00:26:11,763 - We spent it at sparkles. - What did we buy? 577 00:26:11,764 --> 00:26:13,966 My outfit, your outfit, Truly's outfit. 578 00:26:13,967 --> 00:26:16,268 - Truly owns the store! - It was a gift. 579 00:26:16,269 --> 00:26:18,502 It's not a gift unless you buy it for the person. 580 00:26:18,503 --> 00:26:21,138 So you're buying gifts for Truly from her own store, 581 00:26:21,139 --> 00:26:22,840 but you're not buying me dinner? 582 00:26:22,841 --> 00:26:25,176 She's standing right there and you're making her feel bad. 583 00:26:25,177 --> 00:26:28,645 - And look how cute she looks. - Okay fine. Sorry, Truly. 584 00:26:28,646 --> 00:26:30,948 - Enjoy it. - There's a back. 585 00:26:30,949 --> 00:26:33,750 - Wait, Truly, what? - There's a back door and it's propped open. 586 00:26:33,751 --> 00:26:37,587 - We could just sneak in. - Look at you, 587 00:26:37,788 --> 00:26:41,023 acting all grown up and figuring out how to sneak in places, 588 00:26:41,024 --> 00:26:44,760 wearing short dresses and acting age-appropriate. I'm so proud of you. 589 00:26:48,999 --> 00:26:52,534 ( Screams, chainsaw roaring ) I look away for one second 590 00:26:52,535 --> 00:26:55,637 - and he's got a pile of salami. - No, the guy with no arms 591 00:26:55,638 --> 00:26:58,340 had arms a minute ago. They're on the side there, see? 592 00:26:58,341 --> 00:27:01,843 The effects aren't super great, so it kind of looks like salamis. 593 00:27:01,844 --> 00:27:04,779 If I had a nickel for every arm... ( Laughs ) 594 00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:08,416 You're funny. ( Screaming, maniacal laughter ) 595 00:27:10,952 --> 00:27:13,321 ( Chainsaw roaring ) 596 00:27:13,322 --> 00:27:15,189 ( Sighs ) 597 00:27:15,190 --> 00:27:18,392 - We're leaning against a wall. - It's cool. 598 00:27:18,393 --> 00:27:20,728 - Yeah, it's something. - It's been a long time 599 00:27:20,729 --> 00:27:23,663 - since I've stood in back and watched a movie. - Wait. 600 00:27:26,934 --> 00:27:29,068 Truly Frances Abigail Dominica III, 601 00:27:29,069 --> 00:27:31,170 did you sneak booze into this movie truck? 602 00:27:31,171 --> 00:27:33,440 I stole it from Sam's desk at Sparkles. 603 00:27:33,441 --> 00:27:35,308 I worship you. 604 00:27:37,978 --> 00:27:39,778 - Woo! - Woo! 605 00:27:39,779 --> 00:27:42,414 - Crowd: Shhh! - ( Softly ) Woo. 606 00:27:42,415 --> 00:27:46,517 - Hey, what is this called? - "Mountain of arms." 607 00:27:46,518 --> 00:27:49,654 "Mountain of arms"? As in someone builds a... 608 00:27:49,655 --> 00:27:52,257 ( Chainsaw roars ) ...Mountain of arms. 609 00:27:57,991 --> 00:27:59,891 - We got to go. - What? 610 00:27:59,917 --> 00:28:02,051 It's 11:40, my house alarm sets at midnight 611 00:28:02,152 --> 00:28:04,020 and it doesn't go back off until 6:00 A.M. 612 00:28:04,021 --> 00:28:05,354 - We need to get Boo. - I'll do it. 613 00:28:07,557 --> 00:28:09,625 - What? - Michelle is here. 614 00:28:11,528 --> 00:28:12,894 ( Crowd groans ) 615 00:28:12,895 --> 00:28:15,865 Oh my God, it's another arm. 616 00:28:15,866 --> 00:28:18,774 It's like Ed Wood! It's like someone literally went to a warehouse 617 00:28:18,775 --> 00:28:20,659 looked around, saw 50,000 arms and thought, 618 00:28:20,684 --> 00:28:22,271 - "done"! - Tank top! 619 00:28:22,272 --> 00:28:24,839 - Drink. - Hey, we should make a movie. 620 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,309 "Skyscraper of teeth"! "Ziggurat of legs"! 621 00:28:28,310 --> 00:28:30,744 - "The tower of torsos." - Yes! "Tower of torsos"! 622 00:28:30,745 --> 00:28:32,580 Hey, Talia was in a movie called that. 623 00:28:32,581 --> 00:28:34,415 It was called "Blood Dungeon Two." 624 00:28:34,416 --> 00:28:36,217 Same thing. And she took her top off. 625 00:28:36,218 --> 00:28:38,653 - Really? - Which is why I was killed in the first scene. 626 00:28:38,654 --> 00:28:40,821 - First boobs equals first kill. - What killed you? 627 00:28:40,822 --> 00:28:43,291 I have no idea. I don't think anyone knew exactly, 628 00:28:43,292 --> 00:28:45,625 but it was large, it glowed 629 00:28:45,626 --> 00:28:47,694 and I slept with it after we wrapped. 630 00:28:47,695 --> 00:28:49,329 ( Chuckles ) 631 00:28:49,330 --> 00:28:51,331 - She'll tell madame Fanny. - Maybe she won't. 632 00:28:51,332 --> 00:28:53,766 - We could sneak past her. - She's 18 feet tall, she's totally going to see us. 633 00:28:53,767 --> 00:28:56,169 - Well, is she a narc? - She doesn't look narc-y to me. 634 00:28:56,170 --> 00:28:58,705 She could be a covert narc, like she acts like she's your friend, 635 00:28:58,706 --> 00:29:00,339 you hang out and do narc-able things with them, 636 00:29:00,340 --> 00:29:02,107 and then you go home and you've been totally narced. 637 00:29:02,108 --> 00:29:04,577 - So what do we do? - We wait for the movie to be over and they leave, 638 00:29:04,578 --> 00:29:06,945 then we run back to my house. ( Chainsaw rumbles ) 639 00:29:06,946 --> 00:29:08,914 - I think his chainsaw died. - Excellent. 640 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:16,154 I thought it was really poetic how the killer cut off 641 00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:18,122 his own arms to finish the mountain, 642 00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:20,925 but then there was no way of getting them to the top. ( Laughs ) 643 00:29:24,396 --> 00:29:26,964 Okay, someone get Boo so we can go. 644 00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:36,172 - Found her. - Excellent. 645 00:29:37,209 --> 00:29:39,176 - Wait! - Michelle: Boo! 646 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:41,946 "Mountain of arms"! Oh my God, right? 647 00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:44,748 "Mountain of arms"! Oh my God. 648 00:29:48,085 --> 00:29:51,054 - ( Whispering ) Did she see us? - I don't think she saw anything. 649 00:29:51,055 --> 00:29:53,489 - We have to leave. - I have to thank Charlie for the tickets. 650 00:29:53,490 --> 00:29:55,158 - Boo. - Charlie! 651 00:29:58,395 --> 00:30:01,231 - Hey. - She's trying to kill me. 652 00:30:01,232 --> 00:30:03,333 11:55, how fast can we all run? 653 00:30:03,334 --> 00:30:04,733 That's it, I'm getting her. 654 00:30:04,734 --> 00:30:08,370 - Hey. - Oh, hey, Boo! 655 00:30:08,371 --> 00:30:11,874 - Hi, I just wanted to thank you for the... - Oh, gimme your hand. 656 00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:14,977 My phone died and my hands are greasy 657 00:30:14,978 --> 00:30:16,611 - from the popcorn. - Oh. 658 00:30:16,612 --> 00:30:19,081 - Text me that when you get home, okay? - Okay. 659 00:30:21,216 --> 00:30:23,650 - Come on! - I can't look. What does it say? 660 00:30:23,651 --> 00:30:26,087 - "Shari" and then Shari's number. - Who's Shari? 661 00:30:26,088 --> 00:30:29,123 - That's Shari. - That's totally what Dita Von Teese looks like. 662 00:30:29,124 --> 00:30:31,158 We definitely didn't get that right, Boo. Sorry. 663 00:30:31,159 --> 00:30:33,127 Yeah, it's a real tragedy. Let's move! 664 00:30:34,529 --> 00:30:36,829 Truly: Wait, where are we? 665 00:30:36,830 --> 00:30:39,465 Talia: More importantly, where did we park? 666 00:30:39,466 --> 00:30:41,968 We parked near a tree that looks like a hobbit. 667 00:30:41,969 --> 00:30:44,537 All the trees here look like hobbits. 668 00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:46,873 I like that word "hobbit." Hobbit. 669 00:30:46,874 --> 00:30:48,775 It has a nice in-my-mouth-feel 670 00:30:48,776 --> 00:30:51,378 when I say it... h-hobbit. 671 00:30:51,379 --> 00:30:54,013 Oh, there's my car! 672 00:31:00,153 --> 00:31:02,888 I'm thinking we should walk home. 673 00:31:02,889 --> 00:31:06,392 - Or sleep here. - Yes, sleep is genius. 674 00:31:06,393 --> 00:31:08,826 I could take off my shoes and start sleeping. 675 00:31:08,827 --> 00:31:11,662 No! You said we would stay up all night and it hasn't been all night, 676 00:31:11,663 --> 00:31:13,764 - so you can't take your shoes off. - But I wanna. 677 00:31:13,765 --> 00:31:16,234 - Me too. - Cupcake A.T.M.! 678 00:31:16,235 --> 00:31:19,770 - Truly? - Did you say "cupcake A.T.M."? 679 00:31:19,771 --> 00:31:22,807 I read about it. In Los Angeles there is a pink A.T.M. 680 00:31:22,808 --> 00:31:25,742 And it dispenses all kinds of cupcakes 24 hours a day. 681 00:31:25,743 --> 00:31:27,844 ( Squeaks ) Who is she? 682 00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:30,247 I have no idea, but I like her. 683 00:31:30,248 --> 00:31:34,318 Problem is we made Mr. Tom Collins go bye-bye, all empty. 684 00:31:34,319 --> 00:31:36,353 And I may have drunk all the bitters. 685 00:31:36,354 --> 00:31:38,255 - I'm sober. - Unpossible. 686 00:31:38,256 --> 00:31:40,056 You matched us drink for drink. 687 00:31:40,057 --> 00:31:42,024 Yes, and then I spit it back in the bottle. 688 00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:44,827 - Oh my God! - I'm not a drinker. 689 00:31:44,828 --> 00:31:47,496 - Back in the bottle?! - Seriously, that's disgusting. 690 00:31:47,497 --> 00:31:49,131 But it's a good thing 'cause I can drive, 691 00:31:49,132 --> 00:31:50,933 so we can go get A.T.M. cupcakes, right? 692 00:31:50,934 --> 00:31:52,734 Back in the bottle? 693 00:31:52,735 --> 00:31:54,403 ( Groans ) 694 00:31:57,173 --> 00:31:59,107 Uhh yeah ha. 695 00:31:59,108 --> 00:32:00,875 Okay. 696 00:32:02,578 --> 00:32:05,046 - Cupcakes! - Whoo-hoo! 697 00:32:06,482 --> 00:32:09,284 Boo: It's 12:15... no, 12:16. 698 00:32:09,285 --> 00:32:11,652 - Sasha: It is? - Yes, I've been yelling that at you 699 00:32:11,653 --> 00:32:14,688 - for the past three blocks. - I thought you were saying "run faster." 700 00:32:14,689 --> 00:32:17,057 "12:15" doesn't sound anything like run faster. 701 00:32:17,058 --> 00:32:18,592 - It's blinking red. - Damn it! 702 00:32:18,593 --> 00:32:20,860 - Can we turn the alarm off? - From the inside. 703 00:32:20,861 --> 00:32:22,829 - Let's do that. - Yeah, Mel, let's do that. 704 00:32:22,830 --> 00:32:25,099 Everyone think real hard and use all your psychic powers 705 00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:27,033 to turn the alarm off. Are you doing it? 706 00:32:27,034 --> 00:32:29,735 Okay? Is it working? No? Really? Shocking. 707 00:32:29,736 --> 00:32:32,271 - Sorry. - I knew we'd get caught if we snuck out. 708 00:32:32,272 --> 00:32:34,407 Just lemme figure this out. 709 00:32:37,611 --> 00:32:39,512 Over here! 710 00:32:42,782 --> 00:32:44,882 - There. - Yes? 711 00:32:44,883 --> 00:32:47,051 - We'll get up there and climb in. - Oh okay, 712 00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:49,887 - lemme get my catapult. - If there was a tree to climb maybe. 713 00:32:49,888 --> 00:32:52,724 Or a mountain of arms. We can make a mountain of arms and climb up that. 714 00:32:52,725 --> 00:32:55,059 The car, you idiots. We'll climb up the car. 715 00:32:55,060 --> 00:32:57,061 - That's never going to work. - Boo, Boo. 716 00:32:57,062 --> 00:32:58,296 Okay. 717 00:33:05,036 --> 00:33:07,538 - C'mon... - Yeah, talk to the window, that will help. 718 00:33:07,539 --> 00:33:10,207 You know what? I'm trying to save us all from lectures and groundings, 719 00:33:10,208 --> 00:33:11,642 so you can either help or shut it! 720 00:33:16,047 --> 00:33:19,015 - Did you grow in the last 10 seconds? - No, I'm gonna jump. 721 00:33:19,016 --> 00:33:22,118 Oh okay, this I'm gonna wanna get on video. 722 00:33:25,789 --> 00:33:27,823 ( Crashes ) Oh my God! 723 00:33:27,824 --> 00:33:29,559 Don't wake my parents up! 724 00:33:34,030 --> 00:33:37,633 - I had an idea. - You did. 725 00:33:37,634 --> 00:33:41,002 - None of you had ideas. - This is true. 726 00:33:41,003 --> 00:33:43,272 I could... ( Laughter continues ) 727 00:33:46,176 --> 00:33:47,976 All righty then. 728 00:33:54,455 --> 00:33:58,455 Do you remember that James Bond movie where they spray-painted that girl gold 729 00:33:58,481 --> 00:34:01,249 and then she suffocated 'cause all her pores were clogged? 730 00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:04,786 - Yes. - That is going to happen to me, but in reverse. 731 00:34:04,787 --> 00:34:07,389 Frosting is going to clog my pores 732 00:34:07,390 --> 00:34:10,125 from the inside out. I will stop breathing 733 00:34:10,126 --> 00:34:12,593 and colored sprinkles will shoot out my nose. 734 00:34:12,594 --> 00:34:14,495 - How many did you eat? - Oh my God. 735 00:34:14,496 --> 00:34:17,231 - This many. - This many. 736 00:34:17,232 --> 00:34:20,001 - Ohhh. - You could always out-eat me. 737 00:34:20,002 --> 00:34:23,837 - You could always out-dance me. - Yeah well, that was then. 738 00:34:23,838 --> 00:34:26,040 Arms. 739 00:34:26,041 --> 00:34:30,043 - Frosted arms. - Oh God, please tell me she remembers her dreams. 740 00:34:30,044 --> 00:34:33,146 Look, she kept her heels on the whole night. 741 00:34:33,147 --> 00:34:37,484 - The student surpasses the teacher. - So on the birthday scale? 742 00:34:37,485 --> 00:34:39,886 This one definitely cracked the top 10. 743 00:34:39,887 --> 00:34:43,289 - Really? Wow. - Not the top five, 744 00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:45,391 but I think it knocked out the time 745 00:34:45,392 --> 00:34:46,958 that we broke into that temple 746 00:34:46,959 --> 00:34:48,994 and skinny-dipped in the Mitzvah baths. 747 00:34:48,995 --> 00:34:51,363 So how does it feel getting older? 748 00:34:51,364 --> 00:34:53,598 Fantastic. 749 00:34:53,599 --> 00:34:56,101 I like getting older. Some women say they don't, 750 00:34:56,102 --> 00:34:59,505 but me, I feel like every time a part of me sags 751 00:34:59,506 --> 00:35:01,805 lower to the ground, an angel gets its wings. 752 00:35:01,806 --> 00:35:05,009 - It's nice you're still drunk. - I think it's the bitters. 753 00:35:05,010 --> 00:35:07,711 - Oh, last one. - Split it. 754 00:35:07,712 --> 00:35:10,381 - Mmm, 60/40? - Fine. 755 00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:15,986 - A cupcake A.T.M. - A 24-hour cupcake A.T.M. 756 00:35:15,987 --> 00:35:18,588 What a country. 757 00:35:21,692 --> 00:35:24,494 Mmm. 758 00:35:24,495 --> 00:35:26,596 - It's sweet. - Mmm. 759 00:35:26,597 --> 00:35:28,865 It's supposed to be sweet. It's a cupcake. 760 00:35:28,866 --> 00:35:30,733 - No. I mean this. - What? 761 00:35:30,734 --> 00:35:33,802 This place, this town, your pad. 762 00:35:33,803 --> 00:35:36,439 - You have a gazebo. - Fanny has a gazebo. 763 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,040 Your ass is sitting in it right now. 764 00:35:38,041 --> 00:35:41,009 - True, very true. - I love it here. 765 00:35:41,010 --> 00:35:42,611 - You do? - Don't you? 766 00:35:42,612 --> 00:35:46,415 You know, this was supposed to be a whole different thing here. 767 00:35:46,416 --> 00:35:48,649 This was supposed to be a whole different life. 768 00:35:48,650 --> 00:35:51,319 I was supposed to be married... a sadie. 769 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,289 I was supposed to have a husband 770 00:35:54,290 --> 00:35:56,724 - and we were supposed to... - To what? 771 00:35:56,725 --> 00:36:00,061 I don't know... be really happy. 772 00:36:00,062 --> 00:36:01,963 Now I don't know what the plan is. 773 00:36:01,964 --> 00:36:04,864 You can't be really happy here without being a sadie? 774 00:36:07,302 --> 00:36:10,337 - So next year... - Uh-huh, mm-hmm. 775 00:36:10,338 --> 00:36:14,074 - ...for my birthday... - I promise I will be more prepared. 776 00:36:14,075 --> 00:36:15,842 - I'll do some planning. - Okay. 777 00:36:15,843 --> 00:36:18,178 I'll check out what's going on in the other towns. 778 00:36:18,179 --> 00:36:21,046 - Is there more to Solvang than windmills? - There's not. 779 00:36:21,047 --> 00:36:24,650 I'll check out Carmel, scope out the night life in Los Olivos, 780 00:36:24,651 --> 00:36:27,587 see what the kids are up to in Carpinteria. 781 00:36:27,588 --> 00:36:30,789 And I'll see if I can't liven this place up a little bit before then. 782 00:36:30,790 --> 00:36:32,925 If anybody can... 783 00:36:42,067 --> 00:36:43,835 Three more minutes. 784 00:36:45,471 --> 00:36:47,939 Boy, those two can sleep in any position, can't they? 785 00:36:49,008 --> 00:36:50,208 Boo? 786 00:36:50,209 --> 00:36:51,909 - Oh jeez. - Hey! 787 00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:53,310 - Pathetic. - No, don't! 788 00:36:53,311 --> 00:36:55,879 Forget him, Boo. You'll meet someone else just as dumb, 789 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,215 driving just as crappy a car any day now. 790 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:00,984 - I was supposed to text that to him. - And then what? 791 00:37:00,985 --> 00:37:04,155 - And then he would thank me. - And after he thanks you 792 00:37:04,156 --> 00:37:06,590 for texting him some other girl's number, then what? 793 00:37:06,591 --> 00:37:09,159 I just like him. 794 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:10,993 I know. 795 00:37:10,994 --> 00:37:13,796 You're probably right though. 796 00:37:13,797 --> 00:37:15,931 I know. 797 00:37:18,235 --> 00:37:20,770 Look one more time and the hand goes too. 798 00:37:26,942 --> 00:37:30,212 So I got my letter today... 799 00:37:30,213 --> 00:37:32,414 From the Joffrey. 800 00:37:32,415 --> 00:37:35,684 - The official invitation. - Oh. 801 00:37:35,685 --> 00:37:37,586 Yeah. 802 00:37:37,587 --> 00:37:40,188 Well, you knew that was coming. 803 00:37:40,189 --> 00:37:42,456 It wasn't 100%. 804 00:37:42,457 --> 00:37:44,925 So are you going to go? 805 00:37:44,926 --> 00:37:47,795 I'm certainly not going to stick around here all summer. 806 00:37:47,796 --> 00:37:50,764 - What did your parents say? - I'll tell them when I get back. 807 00:37:50,765 --> 00:37:53,234 - Sasha. - Look, they won't even notice I'm gone. 808 00:37:53,235 --> 00:37:55,903 - Trust me. - You can't just up and leave. 809 00:37:55,904 --> 00:37:58,471 I'll leave a note on the throw pillows. 810 00:37:58,472 --> 00:38:00,207 - But... - it's time. 811 00:38:00,208 --> 00:38:02,409 C'mon! Let's move it! 812 00:38:42,013 --> 00:38:43,914 - Dad? - Huh? 813 00:38:49,721 --> 00:38:52,389 I stayed out all night and wrecked mom's car. 814 00:38:54,024 --> 00:38:55,626 Good night. 815 00:38:59,797 --> 00:39:02,064 ( Footsteps ascending ) 816 00:39:11,541 --> 00:39:13,743 ( Folk music playing ) 817 00:39:39,233 --> 00:39:41,201 ♪ Istanbul was Constantinople ♪ 818 00:39:41,202 --> 00:39:43,304 ♪ now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople ♪ 819 00:39:43,305 --> 00:39:45,506 ♪ been a long time gone, Constantinople ♪ 820 00:39:45,507 --> 00:39:47,808 ♪ now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night ♪ 821 00:39:47,809 --> 00:39:49,475 ♪ every gal in Constantinople ♪ 822 00:39:49,476 --> 00:39:52,077 ♪ lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople ♪ 823 00:39:52,078 --> 00:39:54,146 ♪ so if you've a date in Constantinople ♪ 824 00:39:54,147 --> 00:39:55,981 ♪ she'll be waiting in Istanbul ♪ 825 00:39:55,982 --> 00:40:00,252 ♪ even old New York was once New Amsterdam ♪ 826 00:40:00,253 --> 00:40:02,555 ♪ why they changed it I can't say ♪ 827 00:40:02,556 --> 00:40:04,856 ♪ people just liked it better that way ♪ 828 00:40:04,857 --> 00:40:06,925 ♪ so take me back to Constantinople ♪ 829 00:40:06,926 --> 00:40:08,893 ♪ no, you can't go back to Constantinople ♪ 830 00:40:08,894 --> 00:40:10,895 ♪ been a long time gone, Constantinople ♪ 831 00:40:10,896 --> 00:40:13,164 ♪ why did Constantinople get the works? ♪ 832 00:40:13,165 --> 00:40:15,434 ♪ that's nobody's business but the Turks ♪ 833 00:40:16,502 --> 00:40:18,537 ( Vocalizing ) 834 00:40:23,141 --> 00:40:24,742 - ♪ Istanbul ♪ - ♪ Istanbul ♪ 835 00:40:49,767 --> 00:40:52,034 ♪ so take me back to Constantinople ♪ 836 00:40:52,035 --> 00:40:54,169 ♪ no, you can't go back to Constantinople ♪ 837 00:40:54,170 --> 00:40:56,204 ♪ been a long time gone, Constantinople ♪ 838 00:40:56,205 --> 00:40:58,340 ♪ why did Constantinople get the works? ♪ 839 00:40:58,341 --> 00:41:01,409 ♪ that's nobody's business but the Turks ♪ 840 00:41:03,345 --> 00:41:06,247 ♪ Istanbul! ♪ 841 00:41:07,272 --> 00:41:17,272 Sync and corrections by atrn97g for www.addic7ed.com