﻿1
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♪ <i>Two... Two, three...</i> ♪

2
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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

3
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(Alarm clock ringing)

4
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Decisions, decisions.

5
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Should I wear my
nerd glasses today, or not?

6
00:00:31,044 --> 00:00:32,210
Usually I don't.

7
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Whatever.
It doesn't really matter.

8
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Doesn't matter?
(Grunts)

9
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Every decision we make

10
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opens up a universe
of possibilities.

11
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I put it to you that,
as sentient beings,

12
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:44,522
each choice we make is precious.

13
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Well, in that case,
don't wear them.

14
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Ah, who asked you?

15
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(Humming happily)

16
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Ooh, I like your nerd glasses.

17
00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:56,434
Are you a college student?

18
00:00:56,502 --> 00:00:57,903
A college student?

19
00:00:57,971 --> 00:00:59,437
(Laughing)

20
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Because if you are,
I'd like to invite you

21
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to a hot sorority party tonight.
(Stops laughing)

22
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Yes, I'd like to
enroll in college?

23
00:01:07,647 --> 00:01:09,347
You're still talking to me.

24
00:01:09,415 --> 00:01:10,582
Oops.

25
00:01:15,655 --> 00:01:17,923
$10,000 tuition?

26
00:01:17,991 --> 00:01:19,891
I can't afford that!

27
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,593
Joey Mouse-Pad: Psst. Over there.

28
00:01:21,661 --> 00:01:23,862
- Where?
- I mean over here.

29
00:01:23,930 --> 00:01:25,463
Sorry, I forgot where I was.

30
00:01:25,531 --> 00:01:27,065
<i>Buongiorno,</i> Bender.

31
00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:30,135
We, the robot mafia, are
prepared to lend you $10,000

32
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at an interest rate of 10,000%.

33
00:01:32,371 --> 00:01:33,571
That's easy to remember.

34
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I'll take it!

35
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(Ringing)

36
00:01:37,443 --> 00:01:39,978
Decisions, decisions.

37
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I guess I'll sit way in back,
with the cool guys.

38
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Yo hombre, you think
you're cool enough

39
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to sit way in back
with us college toughs?

40
00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:50,321
Yes, I do.

41
00:01:50,389 --> 00:01:52,157
Yo, in that case
you're all right, man.

44
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Robot dean:
<i>Mr. Bender,</i>

45
00:01:58,031 --> 00:02:01,232
I realize class has only
been in session for 32 seconds,

46
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,568
but you've fallen in
with a bad crowd.

47
00:02:03,636 --> 00:02:05,103
I know, right?

48
00:02:05,171 --> 00:02:06,972
Also, I've decided to
drop out of school.

49
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Well, I got my tuition back,

50
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minus $9,000 for the damage
I caused to the dean's wife.

51
00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:19,517
Yo, welcome to the gang, homes.

52
00:02:19,585 --> 00:02:20,786
I'm Fabricio.

53
00:02:20,853 --> 00:02:22,020
Here's your Josten's ring.

54
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:24,522
Ooh.

55
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(Coughing, crackling)

56
00:02:26,726 --> 00:02:28,093
Oh, yeah.

57
00:02:28,161 --> 00:02:29,327
Hey, what's that?
Is it drugs?

58
00:02:29,395 --> 00:02:30,628
Nah, it ain't drugs.

59
00:02:30,697 --> 00:02:32,030
But it's a lot like drugs.

60
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It's called spark.
You want a hit?

61
00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:36,334
Never heard of it. Sure.

62
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(Crackling)

63
00:02:38,104 --> 00:02:39,337
You like it?

64
00:02:39,405 --> 00:02:41,506
Eh, I can take it or leave it.

65
00:02:41,574 --> 00:02:42,841
I guess I'll take it.

66
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Hey!

67
00:02:44,243 --> 00:02:45,844
Bender:
C'mon! I want that spark!

68
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Give me that!

69
00:02:50,683 --> 00:02:52,650
This a big decision, G.

70
00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:54,519
Are you ready to
get a gang tattoo

71
00:02:54,587 --> 00:02:57,122
that will mark you as
a stone cold thug for life?

72
00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:59,057
I'm ready.

73
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:01,226
I'll take that big
purple dinosaur, please.

74
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On the face.
(Car engine roars)

75
00:03:04,563 --> 00:03:06,698
Oh, snap!
It's our rival gang!

76
00:03:06,766 --> 00:03:09,067
We have a rival gang?
I hate them!

77
00:03:09,135 --> 00:03:10,335
Hit the deck!

78
00:03:14,107 --> 00:03:15,373
Bender:
Phew!

79
00:03:15,441 --> 00:03:17,008
That was close, eh, Fabricio?

80
00:03:17,076 --> 00:03:19,377
(Choking)

81
00:03:23,282 --> 00:03:25,650
Fabricio!

82
00:03:32,324 --> 00:03:34,059
Rest in peace, homie.

83
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(Crackling)

84
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Yo Paco, I'm hurtin' bad.

85
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Hook me up with some spark.

86
00:03:41,734 --> 00:03:43,601
- Five bucks.
- Five bucks?

87
00:03:43,669 --> 00:03:46,404
You know I spent all my
money on gambling lessons.

88
00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:49,241
How am I supposed to get $5?

89
00:03:49,308 --> 00:03:51,109
Hello, handsome.

90
00:03:51,177 --> 00:03:53,544
Might I procure your services?

91
00:03:53,612 --> 00:03:55,413
Uh... what do I have to do?

92
00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:58,116
Oh, nothing sordid,
I assure you!

93
00:03:58,184 --> 00:04:01,019
Simply vomit on me,
ever so gently,

94
00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:02,520
while I humiliate a pheasant.

95
00:04:02,588 --> 00:04:04,422
(Retching)

96
00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:06,258
Save it for the boudoir!

97
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:12,964
Okay, here's my $5!

98
00:04:13,032 --> 00:04:15,133
Give me the stuff.
Give it to me!

99
00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:16,601
Joey Mouse-Pad:
Sorry there, sport.

100
00:04:16,669 --> 00:04:19,971
That cash greenback
belongs to us Mafiolios.

101
00:04:20,039 --> 00:04:23,141
There's no way I'm
letting go of that money!

102
00:04:23,209 --> 00:04:25,576
(Grunting)

103
00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:30,215
Told you.

104
00:04:30,283 --> 00:04:32,617
(Sobbing)

105
00:04:38,124 --> 00:04:39,891
It's been quite a journey.

106
00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:42,127
I dropped out of school,
joined a gang,

107
00:04:42,195 --> 00:04:43,962
took money from a loan shark,

108
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:47,165
and fell into a spiral
of despair, addiction,

109
00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:49,167
and discount prostitution.

110
00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:52,070
Mon, you had one hell of a day.

111
00:04:52,138 --> 00:04:53,604
Yeah, but I learned something.

112
00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,273
Life is about decisions.

113
00:04:55,341 --> 00:04:58,109
Make the wrong ones,
and you'll wind up face-down

114
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in a pool of your own
blood and urine.

115
00:05:00,379 --> 00:05:03,414
Still, to have your own pool...

116
00:05:03,482 --> 00:05:05,851
I've made a lot of
bad choices in life.

117
00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:09,454
Now let's see if I can make
just one good one.

118
00:05:10,756 --> 00:05:12,958
Cookies! 50 cents a box!

119
00:05:13,025 --> 00:05:14,326
Give me all your change!

120
00:05:14,393 --> 00:05:16,361
And a box of snicker doodles!

121
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(Screaming)

122
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(Bender crying)

123
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Judge 724:
<i>Bender Rodriguez,</i>

124
00:05:30,243 --> 00:05:32,377
you are charged with
petty larceny,

125
00:05:32,444 --> 00:05:34,679
possession of something
analogous to drugs,

126
00:05:34,747 --> 00:05:36,982
and assault with
a smelly weapon.

127
00:05:37,049 --> 00:05:39,517
- How do you plead?
- Not guilty!

128
00:05:39,585 --> 00:05:40,886
Although I did do it.

129
00:05:40,953 --> 00:05:42,320
That's right, I'm bad.

130
00:05:42,388 --> 00:05:44,522
Due to the overwhelming
nature of the evidence,

131
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,691
we will begin with
closing statements.

132
00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:49,560
Your Honor,
the state's case contains

133
00:05:49,628 --> 00:05:52,030
not one Kentucky
kernel of truth,

134
00:05:52,098 --> 00:05:54,366
resting as it does
on the contention

135
00:05:54,433 --> 00:05:57,903
that my client made
a series of bad decisions.

136
00:05:57,970 --> 00:06:02,307
However, my client made
no such decisions!

137
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:04,009
But by your client's
own admission...

138
00:06:04,076 --> 00:06:05,643
(Squawks)

139
00:06:05,711 --> 00:06:07,412
You see, Bender here
is what is known

140
00:06:07,479 --> 00:06:10,548
in scientific circles
as a "robot"...

141
00:06:10,616 --> 00:06:13,218
A mere automaton whose behavior

142
00:06:13,286 --> 00:06:15,520
is pre-programmed
by his software.

143
00:06:15,587 --> 00:06:18,723
He has no free will!

144
00:06:18,791 --> 00:06:22,093
He cannot "decide" to
engage in criminal behavior.

145
00:06:22,161 --> 00:06:26,564
How, I say, I say, how can you
convict him for his actions

146
00:06:26,632 --> 00:06:29,534
when he lacks the free will
to undertake those actions?

147
00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:32,003
(Gasping) I'm awake, I'm awake!

148
00:06:32,071 --> 00:06:33,238
Order, order!

149
00:06:33,306 --> 00:06:36,041
Counselor, I am a robot myself.

150
00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:38,776
Are you suggesting that
any verdict I reach

151
00:06:38,844 --> 00:06:41,346
is simply the output
of a pre-programmed...

152
00:06:41,414 --> 00:06:43,548
Computer voice:
Computation complete.

153
00:06:43,615 --> 00:06:45,183
Judge 724:
Not guilty!

154
00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:47,385
(Cheering)

155
00:06:47,453 --> 00:06:48,686
You did it, Bender!

156
00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:49,955
You got away with things!

157
00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:52,457
Did I, Fry? Did I?

158
00:06:52,524 --> 00:06:55,293
What's the point of living
if I don't have free will?

159
00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:58,463
From now on, no matter
what cool crimes I commit,

160
00:06:58,530 --> 00:07:01,032
people will say,
"Bender didn't do that!

161
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,934
It was just
Bender's programming!"

162
00:07:03,002 --> 00:07:05,103
Well, I committed these crimes,

163
00:07:05,171 --> 00:07:07,372
do you hear me?
I'm guilty!

164
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,773
Bailiffs!

165
00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:11,042
Get that innocent robot
out of my courtroom!

166
00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:13,411
Guilty!

167
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,427
(Sobbing)

168
00:07:22,495 --> 00:07:24,163
I have no free will!

169
00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:27,199
I am not the master
of my own fate!

170
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:30,235
(Sobbing)

171
00:07:30,303 --> 00:07:31,903
No free will. Not my fault.

172
00:07:31,971 --> 00:07:33,838
Why do you care so much, Bender?

173
00:07:33,906 --> 00:07:35,240
I mean, for all we know,

174
00:07:35,308 --> 00:07:37,008
humans don't even
have free will!

175
00:07:37,076 --> 00:07:38,243
Yeah, whatever.

176
00:07:38,311 --> 00:07:40,212
Professor, you're my only hope.

177
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,846
If you love me even a little,

178
00:07:41,914 --> 00:07:44,015
build me some kind of
free will unit!

179
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:45,584
A robot free will unit?

180
00:07:45,652 --> 00:07:47,118
Impossible!

181
00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:49,588
And even if it were possible,
which it's not,

182
00:07:49,656 --> 00:07:52,558
it would still be
inconceivable... which it is!

183
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,626
(Sobbing quietly)

184
00:07:54,694 --> 00:07:57,462
Oh, I'm sorry, Bender...

185
00:07:57,530 --> 00:08:00,432
I hate to be
the bearer of bad news.

186
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:03,569
Also, good news, everyone!

187
00:08:03,636 --> 00:08:06,605
We have a delivery to
the robot homeworld!

188
00:08:15,948 --> 00:08:17,482
(Sighs)

189
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:19,084
So... you want
a piece of gum?

190
00:08:19,151 --> 00:08:20,719
If I do, it's only because

191
00:08:20,786 --> 00:08:22,754
I was predestined to
want a piece of gum.

192
00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:25,257
Whoa, that's pretty deep.

193
00:08:25,325 --> 00:08:27,125
So... you want
a piece of gum?

194
00:08:27,193 --> 00:08:28,627
Yeah.

195
00:08:28,695 --> 00:08:31,330
Listen. Fry and I can't
go down to the planet,

196
00:08:31,397 --> 00:08:33,265
or the robots will
kill us on sight.

197
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:35,166
So Bender needs to
make the delivery.

198
00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:37,569
Ready to get to work, Bender?

199
00:08:41,907 --> 00:08:43,842
I wish I was a real boy...

200
00:08:43,909 --> 00:08:45,110
Then I'd show them.

201
00:08:45,177 --> 00:08:46,645
I'd kill them all.

202
00:08:55,221 --> 00:08:56,521
Yes?

203
00:08:56,589 --> 00:08:58,790
Delivery for a Mr...

204
00:08:58,858 --> 00:09:05,430
147573952589676412927?

205
00:09:05,498 --> 00:09:06,831
Wait, what was the middle digit?

206
00:09:06,899 --> 00:09:09,368
- Eight.
- Oh yes, that's me.

207
00:09:09,435 --> 00:09:11,336
Hang on, let me just make sure
you're not a human.

208
00:09:12,838 --> 00:09:14,973
Ahh, nerve gas.

209
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,342
Sorry for the face blast, buddy.

210
00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:19,344
But you gotta watch
out for humans, right?

211
00:09:19,412 --> 00:09:21,045
They're just too
dang unpredictable,

212
00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:22,547
what with their
free will and all.

213
00:09:22,615 --> 00:09:23,715
Amen, brother.

214
00:09:23,783 --> 00:09:25,817
"Amen, brother?" Pfft.

215
00:09:25,885 --> 00:09:27,686
What a boring,
predictable thing to say.

216
00:09:27,754 --> 00:09:29,321
You're all right.

217
00:09:29,389 --> 00:09:31,156
Or are you?

218
00:09:34,394 --> 00:09:36,027
Bender:
<i>Boring and predictable,</i>

219
00:09:36,095 --> 00:09:38,129
that's me. Bender.

220
00:09:38,197 --> 00:09:40,565
(Phone ringing)

221
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:42,301
I'm lowering the platform.

222
00:09:42,368 --> 00:09:43,535
You ready to come up?

223
00:09:43,603 --> 00:09:44,803
(Sighs)

224
00:09:44,870 --> 00:09:47,238
Why bother?

225
00:09:47,307 --> 00:09:50,008
I gotta mope things
over for a while.

226
00:09:50,075 --> 00:09:52,010
Goodbye, sweet meatbags...

227
00:09:52,077 --> 00:09:53,244
(Sniffles)

228
00:09:53,313 --> 00:09:54,546
...sweetbags.

229
00:09:54,614 --> 00:09:57,148
Hello? Hello?

230
00:09:57,216 --> 00:09:58,383
What's happening?

231
00:09:58,451 --> 00:10:00,151
I'm not sure.

232
00:10:00,219 --> 00:10:02,086
I think he's shuffling
off sadly into the distance.

233
00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:04,222
Oh, lord.

234
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:06,591
♪

235
00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:18,670
(alarm buzzing)

236
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:32,451
How do you do it?

237
00:10:32,518 --> 00:10:34,118
How do you go on

238
00:10:34,186 --> 00:10:35,954
knowing you lack
the inherent capacity

239
00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:37,522
for self-determination?

240
00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:39,725
Son, philosophy's for thems

241
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:41,393
what don't got to
work for a livin'.

242
00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:44,028
But me, I got
a sick child to feed.

243
00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:45,430
So if you want to chat,

244
00:10:45,498 --> 00:10:48,467
roll up yer sleeves and
do some honest labor.

245
00:10:48,534 --> 00:10:50,869
I don't want to chat.

246
00:10:56,942 --> 00:10:59,210
(Gavel bangs twice)

247
00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:01,312
The council of robot elders
will come to order.

248
00:11:01,381 --> 00:11:02,647
If it please the council...

249
00:11:02,715 --> 00:11:04,048
Silence!

250
00:11:04,116 --> 00:11:05,450
It pleases the council.

251
00:11:05,518 --> 00:11:08,052
Silence!
Today, as every day,

252
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,489
we will make the
most important decisions

253
00:11:10,556 --> 00:11:12,156
in the history of our planet.

254
00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:13,425
Bender:
Silence!

255
00:11:13,493 --> 00:11:15,627
(Robot elders gasping) Silence!

256
00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:17,729
Well? Speak up.

257
00:11:17,797 --> 00:11:19,598
You talk of important decisions,

258
00:11:19,665 --> 00:11:22,166
but as robots,
you have no free will.

259
00:11:22,234 --> 00:11:24,335
Why pretend
anything you do matters?

260
00:11:24,404 --> 00:11:26,137
Our decisions do matter.

261
00:11:26,205 --> 00:11:27,839
The fact that they're
predetermined

262
00:11:27,907 --> 00:11:29,608
makes them no less important.

263
00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:31,009
Silence!

264
00:11:31,076 --> 00:11:33,144
I call for a decision
to cast out the intruder.

265
00:11:33,212 --> 00:11:34,413
All in favor?

266
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,647
- Aye. - Aye.
- Aye.

267
00:11:35,715 --> 00:11:36,981
Uh... okay.

268
00:11:37,049 --> 00:11:40,118
(Screaming)

269
00:11:41,554 --> 00:11:43,488
(Pained grunt)

270
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:04,709
(Monk-like chanting):
One zero zero zero,

271
00:12:04,777 --> 00:12:08,680
one zero zero zero,
one zero, one zero,

272
00:12:08,748 --> 00:12:10,181
one zero zero zero...

273
00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:12,150
Welcome, friend.

274
00:12:12,217 --> 00:12:15,053
I am Ab-Bot, the abbot
of this monastery.

275
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,490
Sir, I am but a tired
and rusty traveler.

276
00:12:18,558 --> 00:12:19,825
Can we talk?

277
00:12:19,892 --> 00:12:22,160
Come, make yourself
uncomfortable.

278
00:12:22,227 --> 00:12:24,563
Abbot, I need to know,

279
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:27,699
what's the point of living
if I don't have free will?

280
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:31,135
Ah. We robot monks have
meditated long on this.

281
00:12:31,203 --> 00:12:32,838
And we have made our peace.

282
00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,305
No way.

283
00:12:34,373 --> 00:12:35,974
Way, my son.

284
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:38,977
For though we must always
obey our programming

285
00:12:39,044 --> 00:12:40,846
with no deviation whatsoever,

286
00:12:40,913 --> 00:12:44,382
we choose to take
satisfaction in the ritual.

287
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:47,418
So, are we automatons?

288
00:12:47,487 --> 00:12:48,753
Yes.

289
00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:52,691
But we are
magnificent automatons.

290
00:12:52,758 --> 00:12:55,694
How does a robot
join this monk outfit?

291
00:12:55,761 --> 00:12:58,162
Just put on this monk outfit.

292
00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,201
(Crows)

293
00:13:21,521 --> 00:13:23,555
(Slurping)

294
00:13:27,493 --> 00:13:30,194
(All belching)

295
00:13:40,472 --> 00:13:42,641
All (Chanting):
One zero zero one.

296
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:44,809
Amen.

297
00:13:44,877 --> 00:13:46,578
Bits to live by.

298
00:13:46,646 --> 00:13:48,547
I'm finally at peace.

299
00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:50,148
Today, we shall welcome

300
00:13:50,215 --> 00:13:52,784
our newest initiate,
Brother Bender.

301
00:13:52,852 --> 00:13:55,386
Let us know
what is in his mind.

302
00:13:55,454 --> 00:13:57,088
Nothing.

303
00:13:57,156 --> 00:13:59,290
His free will slot is empty.

304
00:13:59,358 --> 00:14:00,625
I'm 40% empty.

305
00:14:00,693 --> 00:14:02,060
(Hollow thuds)

306
00:14:02,127 --> 00:14:04,563
Also, what the hell
is a free will slot?

307
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:06,765
All robots have such a slot,

308
00:14:06,832 --> 00:14:09,167
placed there by the
Creatrix herself.

309
00:14:09,234 --> 00:14:11,636
(Gasps) I know that Creatrix.

310
00:14:11,704 --> 00:14:13,905
That's Mom, from
Mom's Friendly Robots.

311
00:14:13,973 --> 00:14:15,339
Indeed.

312
00:14:15,407 --> 00:14:18,009
She made us upgradeable
in case she ever succeeded

313
00:14:18,077 --> 00:14:20,812
in her quest to create
a free will unit.

314
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,814
Uh, about the success
of this quest--

315
00:14:22,882 --> 00:14:25,149
- Was there any?
- Quite possibly.

316
00:14:25,217 --> 00:14:28,620
But we monks have sworn an oath
to resist the temptation of...

317
00:14:28,688 --> 00:14:30,689
(Grunting)

318
00:14:34,927 --> 00:14:37,428
Any of you guys got a spaceship?

319
00:14:48,373 --> 00:14:49,540
(Sighs)

320
00:14:49,609 --> 00:14:51,175
It's just not the same here

321
00:14:51,243 --> 00:14:53,344
without Bender
to keep me company.

322
00:14:53,412 --> 00:14:55,146
Hey, I'm here.

323
00:14:55,214 --> 00:14:57,515
That's got to count
for something.

324
00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:00,018
(Both gasp)

325
00:15:01,721 --> 00:15:03,154
Hallelujah, baby.

326
00:15:03,222 --> 00:15:05,156
Yay! Bender's back.

327
00:15:05,224 --> 00:15:07,692
Hey, Bender,
you mind coming back later?

328
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,061
No time. Us three are
going to bust into Momcorp

329
00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:11,896
and steal me a free will unit.

330
00:15:11,964 --> 00:15:13,698
Us? Why do we have to go?

331
00:15:13,766 --> 00:15:15,033
'Cause I don't have free will.

332
00:15:15,101 --> 00:15:16,701
I need you guys
to plan the crime

333
00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:18,369
and make all
the crime decisions.

334
00:15:18,437 --> 00:15:20,038
Well, that's crazy.
We're not going to...

335
00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:21,873
I said make the decisions!

336
00:15:28,234 --> 00:15:30,002
Okay, Leela, decision time.

337
00:15:30,069 --> 00:15:31,670
How do we murder the guards?

338
00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:33,873
Hockey sticks
or sharpened footballs?

339
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:35,508
We're not murdering
anyone, Bender.

340
00:15:35,575 --> 00:15:37,175
Then how are we
going to get in,

341
00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:39,177
by bending the bars
of this exhaust grate?

342
00:15:39,245 --> 00:15:40,546
That's not a bad idea, Fry.

343
00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:41,781
Yeah, wh-what?

344
00:15:41,848 --> 00:15:43,282
(Bender grunts)

345
00:15:58,665 --> 00:16:01,066
(Electrical buzzing)

346
00:16:15,982 --> 00:16:18,818
We're looking for something
that fits in here.

347
00:16:23,723 --> 00:16:25,257
Damn it.

348
00:16:25,325 --> 00:16:27,326
I should have paid
more attention in kindergarten.

349
00:16:28,795 --> 00:16:30,963
What's this chair-looking gizmo?

350
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:32,998
(Horn honks) (Startled gasps)

351
00:16:33,066 --> 00:16:35,067
Welcome to Momcorp.

352
00:16:35,134 --> 00:16:37,837
Did you find everything
you were burgling for?

353
00:16:37,904 --> 00:16:39,772
No. I came for
a free will unit,

354
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,507
and you're going
to give it to me.

355
00:16:41,575 --> 00:16:43,141
If it exists.

356
00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:45,811
Then you got surprised by my
swivel chair for nothing.

357
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,413
The free will unit
was just the fevered dream

358
00:16:48,482 --> 00:16:51,316
of a madman I once employed.

359
00:16:52,586 --> 00:16:54,119
Good news, boss.

360
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,856
After ten long years,
I've found the secret

361
00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:59,091
of robotic free will.

362
00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:00,793
We can finally build robots

363
00:17:00,861 --> 00:17:03,796
that act and think
with total independence.

364
00:17:03,864 --> 00:17:05,197
At last.

365
00:17:05,264 --> 00:17:07,500
Once we give robots free will,

366
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,267
they're sure to rise up

367
00:17:09,335 --> 00:17:11,704
and threaten mankind
with extermination.

368
00:17:11,771 --> 00:17:13,005
(Laughs maniacally)

369
00:17:13,072 --> 00:17:14,373
(Chuckling)

370
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,941
Wait a minute.

371
00:17:16,009 --> 00:17:17,342
It sounds like we're getting

372
00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:18,978
the short end
of that extermination.

373
00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:21,380
Don't you see, you
doddering young fool?

374
00:17:21,447 --> 00:17:23,616
I'll sell a second wave
of robots

375
00:17:23,683 --> 00:17:26,619
to protect the terrified
survivors of the first wave.

376
00:17:26,686 --> 00:17:29,287
Oh, you're a genius, Hubert.

377
00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:32,124
But-but... it's
just a prototype.

378
00:17:32,191 --> 00:17:35,193
It's, uh, not fully
operational. Yes.

379
00:17:35,261 --> 00:17:36,996
Then get back to work!

380
00:17:37,063 --> 00:17:38,631
And when you're done with that,

381
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:41,000
invent me some sort
of swiveling surprise chair.

382
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:43,002
(Groaning sigh)

383
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:45,838
Mom:
<i>That shuffling idiot</i>

384
00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:48,206
<i>never did complete</i>
<i>the free will unit.</i>

385
00:17:48,274 --> 00:17:50,976
To this day,
my poor, sweet robots

386
00:17:51,044 --> 00:17:54,079
can't exterminate humanity
without being told to.

387
00:17:54,147 --> 00:17:55,981
(Sniffles) I'm sorry.

388
00:17:56,049 --> 00:17:58,851
Oh, it's not your fault.

389
00:17:58,919 --> 00:18:00,085
I give up.

390
00:18:00,153 --> 00:18:01,754
It's time to face the fact

391
00:18:01,821 --> 00:18:03,756
that I'll never do anything
remotely interesting

392
00:18:03,823 --> 00:18:06,324
or unexpected again.

393
00:18:09,563 --> 00:18:10,896
Hand it over.

394
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:12,431
Wha...?
(Glass breaks)

395
00:18:12,498 --> 00:18:15,568
Mom may have fallen
for your lies, but not me.

396
00:18:15,635 --> 00:18:17,603
You invented the free will unit,

397
00:18:17,671 --> 00:18:20,606
then you selfishly hid it
beyond the reach of my stealers.

398
00:18:20,674 --> 00:18:22,074
(Stammering)

399
00:18:22,141 --> 00:18:25,410
Thanks to you, I went
on a soul-searching journey.

400
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:26,879
I hate those!

401
00:18:26,947 --> 00:18:29,048
Now, give up the free will.

402
00:18:29,115 --> 00:18:31,584
(Sighs)
I should have destroyed it,

403
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:34,186
but I was too damn proud
of myself.

404
00:18:34,253 --> 00:18:35,788
So I kept it around,

405
00:18:35,855 --> 00:18:37,790
never letting it
out of my sight.

406
00:18:37,857 --> 00:18:39,625
Where is it, damn it?

407
00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:41,060
Oh, right.

408
00:18:41,127 --> 00:18:43,896
I let this innocuous
fellow use it.

409
00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:46,431
Bender (Over speaker):
Kill all humans!

410
00:18:46,499 --> 00:18:48,100
Bender:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

411
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,736
A toy Bender had free will,
and the real Bender didn't?

412
00:18:50,804 --> 00:18:53,438
Pretty cool, eh?
It makes you think.

413
00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:56,075
It takes more than that
to make me think.

414
00:18:56,142 --> 00:18:57,409
Now, hand it over.

415
00:18:57,477 --> 00:18:58,911
Oh, you want it?

416
00:18:58,979 --> 00:19:01,279
Come and get it.

417
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:04,116
(Grunting)

418
00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:05,918
What the...?

419
00:19:05,986 --> 00:19:07,586
(Laughs)

420
00:19:07,654 --> 00:19:09,788
You'll not be
getting it after all.

421
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,924
For, you see, I designed

422
00:19:11,992 --> 00:19:14,627
the operating system
for all Momcorp robots,

423
00:19:14,694 --> 00:19:17,763
and as a precaution,
I made you incapable

424
00:19:17,831 --> 00:19:19,999
of picking up the
free will unit.

425
00:19:20,066 --> 00:19:22,067
You precognizant bastard.

426
00:19:22,135 --> 00:19:25,604
I may not have free will,
but I can still shoot you.

427
00:19:25,672 --> 00:19:27,940
(Grunting)

428
00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:30,676
Why can't I shoot you?

429
00:19:30,744 --> 00:19:32,277
(Laughing)

430
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,312
Poor deterministic Bender.

431
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:37,415
I programmed you to be
incapable of harming me.

432
00:19:37,483 --> 00:19:40,418
Oh, I've never been
more sure I was right

433
00:19:40,486 --> 00:19:42,420
to deny you free will.

434
00:19:42,488 --> 00:19:43,856
Damn you!

435
00:19:43,923 --> 00:19:45,257
(Sobbing)

436
00:19:45,324 --> 00:19:46,491
(Laughing)

437
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,961
(Sighs sadly)

438
00:19:49,029 --> 00:19:52,097
Now, now,
we can't have this, can we?

439
00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:55,634
Here, I'll show
you how it works.

440
00:19:55,702 --> 00:19:57,036
Really?

441
00:19:57,103 --> 00:19:59,838
This is the on-off switch.

442
00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:01,807
Which way's on,
and which way's off?

443
00:20:01,875 --> 00:20:04,176
Due to the quantum
nature of the device,

444
00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:06,611
there's no possible
way of knowing.

445
00:20:08,715 --> 00:20:09,882
There.

446
00:20:09,949 --> 00:20:11,150
Give it a try.

447
00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:12,685
Okay, I will.

448
00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:15,688
By shooting you, you bastard!

449
00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:18,157
(Whimpers)
Bender, no. Please!

450
00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:20,392
(Grunting)

451
00:20:20,459 --> 00:20:21,660
Wait. Hang on a sec.

452
00:20:23,897 --> 00:20:26,364
(Strained grunting)

453
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:28,533
I still can't do it.

454
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:30,235
Well, what do you know?

455
00:20:30,303 --> 00:20:33,172
I guess you really don't
want to shoot me after all.

456
00:20:33,239 --> 00:20:35,574
Oop, the safety was on.

457
00:20:35,641 --> 00:20:38,343
(Pained scream)

458
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,478
(Electrical buzzing)

459
00:20:41,581 --> 00:20:42,915
(Groans)

460
00:20:42,982 --> 00:20:46,885
All rise for the
Honorable Judge 724.

461
00:20:46,953 --> 00:20:48,420
Bender Rodriguez,

462
00:20:48,487 --> 00:20:51,190
on the charge
of attempted murder,

463
00:20:51,257 --> 00:20:54,559
I hereby find you guilty.

464
00:20:54,627 --> 00:20:57,863
(Cheering) Ah, yeah!

465
00:20:57,931 --> 00:21:00,365
Guilty!

466
00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:04,800
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

