1 00:00:00,289 --> 00:00:02,623 Previously on Awkward... 2 00:00:02,625 --> 00:00:04,024 My life was full of unexpected choices. 3 00:00:04,026 --> 00:00:06,460 We've decided not to let a girl come between us. 4 00:00:06,462 --> 00:00:09,029 So you need to choose, him or me. 5 00:00:09,031 --> 00:00:10,664 You should date each other. 6 00:00:10,666 --> 00:00:13,266 But someone had to win, someone had to lose, 7 00:00:13,268 --> 00:00:14,501 and I was still left to choose. 8 00:00:21,743 --> 00:00:23,444 I used to think being in love 9 00:00:23,446 --> 00:00:26,480 with two people at once only happened on reality shows, 10 00:00:26,482 --> 00:00:28,415 where finding a soul mate was nudged along 11 00:00:28,417 --> 00:00:31,051 by a dozen roses, a cheese-tastic host, 12 00:00:31,053 --> 00:00:33,053 and a camera crew up your ass. 13 00:00:33,055 --> 00:00:35,355 I never bought that bogus B.S.... 14 00:00:35,357 --> 00:00:37,324 until it happened to me. 15 00:00:37,326 --> 00:00:40,461 I didn't have to choose between Matty or Jake, 16 00:00:40,463 --> 00:00:41,829 but I wanted to. 17 00:00:41,831 --> 00:00:43,430 When it came to life-altering decisions, 18 00:00:43,432 --> 00:00:46,733 I resorted to my go-to method of problem solving... 19 00:00:46,735 --> 00:00:48,502 blogging it out. 20 00:00:50,038 --> 00:00:52,739 "Pick Matty." "Pick Jake." 21 00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:54,508 "Matty is the only choice." 22 00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,643 "Jake is awesometown." 23 00:00:56,645 --> 00:00:59,145 Turns out, my readers were as confused as I was. 24 00:00:59,147 --> 00:01:00,447 "Get over it." 25 00:01:00,449 --> 00:01:02,983 "Pick a guy already." "Team Matty." 26 00:01:02,985 --> 00:01:06,386 "Team Jake. Team... Jonah? 27 00:01:06,388 --> 00:01:08,455 "We have third period together. 28 00:01:08,457 --> 00:01:10,524 I'm the one with the Jew 'fro." 29 00:01:10,526 --> 00:01:11,825 Oh. 30 00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:13,026 It was impossible to think 31 00:01:13,028 --> 00:01:14,528 with the peanut gallery chiming in. 32 00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:17,097 How could I possibly blog my way to an answer 33 00:01:17,099 --> 00:01:19,432 if I couldn't write my truth? 34 00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:21,602 Unless... 35 00:01:21,604 --> 00:01:23,737 I tried my hand at fiction. 36 00:01:23,739 --> 00:01:26,139 It was the six month anniversary 37 00:01:26,141 --> 00:01:28,542 of the first tryst in the utility closet, 38 00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,176 and Jenna couldn't stop thinking about it. 39 00:01:30,178 --> 00:01:31,545 Those ill-fitting camp shirts, 40 00:01:31,547 --> 00:01:34,447 the filthy space, the cold, dank floor... 41 00:01:34,449 --> 00:01:37,217 it was the most romantic three minutes of her life. 44 00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:43,256 Jenna couldn't help but consider, 45 00:01:43,258 --> 00:01:44,925 should she finally let him turn her 46 00:01:44,927 --> 00:01:46,827 so they could spend eternity together? 47 00:01:46,829 --> 00:01:48,261 Do you know what today is? 48 00:01:48,263 --> 00:01:49,596 Tuesday. 49 00:01:49,598 --> 00:01:50,697 He didn't remember. 50 00:01:50,699 --> 00:01:52,265 Jenna was crushed. 51 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:55,101 She didn't realize the undead could suck so hard. 52 00:01:57,371 --> 00:02:01,041 Happy anniversary. 53 00:02:01,043 --> 00:02:04,811 He'll never be able to give you what you need. 54 00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:06,246 But I can. 55 00:02:06,248 --> 00:02:08,015 But she couldn't discount Jake, 56 00:02:08,017 --> 00:02:09,583 who she occasionally referred to as Jacob. 57 00:02:09,585 --> 00:02:12,118 Sexy in his own right and an amazing kisser, 58 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,155 Jenna could only imagine how their sex would be. 59 00:02:16,724 --> 00:02:18,425 She thought it would be hot. 60 00:02:18,427 --> 00:02:21,895 For real, Jake's body temp hovered around 150. 61 00:02:25,833 --> 00:02:27,467 My brief foray into fiction 62 00:02:27,469 --> 00:02:29,937 lead me to one obvious conclusion... 63 00:02:29,939 --> 00:02:32,005 I was a hack. 64 00:02:34,776 --> 00:02:36,910 So I wasn't all that great 65 00:02:36,912 --> 00:02:38,845 when left to my own devices. 66 00:02:38,847 --> 00:02:41,281 What I needed was a push in the right direction, 67 00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:42,916 or any direction. 68 00:02:42,918 --> 00:02:45,786 Because I was lost, in love. 69 00:02:45,788 --> 00:02:48,021 Whenever I lost my keys, which happened a lot, 70 00:02:48,023 --> 00:02:49,289 I retraced my steps. 71 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:51,792 Maybe I needed to retrace my past 72 00:02:51,794 --> 00:02:54,194 to figure out my future. 73 00:02:54,196 --> 00:02:56,096 "If you had a do-over with Matty, 74 00:02:56,098 --> 00:02:57,397 how would you handle it?" 75 00:02:57,399 --> 00:03:00,533 A do-over... it was an interesting concept. 76 00:03:00,535 --> 00:03:03,870 And I knew exactly what I would do differently. 77 00:03:09,377 --> 00:03:11,011 I was afraid you weren't gonna show. 78 00:03:11,013 --> 00:03:14,180 - Wait, I'm not going in there. - Why not? 79 00:03:14,182 --> 00:03:15,849 Because if I do, we're gonna have sex. 80 00:03:15,851 --> 00:03:17,484 And I'll be totally into you, 81 00:03:17,486 --> 00:03:19,653 and you'll ignore me, and I'm not cool with that. 82 00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:21,354 So if you wanna get to know me, 83 00:03:21,356 --> 00:03:22,856 ask me out. 84 00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:30,430 Didn't you hear me yelling at you 85 00:03:30,432 --> 00:03:32,298 to come get your clothes when you came in? 86 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,399 Yeah, I heard you. 87 00:03:33,401 --> 00:03:35,235 I just didn't feel like doing it. 88 00:03:35,237 --> 00:03:37,971 Watch your tone, young lady, 89 00:03:37,973 --> 00:03:40,406 or you can start doing your own laundry. 90 00:03:40,408 --> 00:03:42,609 This letter came for you. 91 00:03:42,611 --> 00:03:44,511 I'll take the clothes, but... 92 00:03:44,513 --> 00:03:47,480 you might wanna rethink that. 93 00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:51,184 Guys, this is Jenna. 94 00:03:51,186 --> 00:03:52,585 Hey. 95 00:03:52,587 --> 00:03:54,187 Sit next to me. 96 00:03:54,189 --> 00:03:56,990 Jenna, you would look so pretty with a makeover. 97 00:03:56,992 --> 00:03:59,693 Oh, damn, is it "bring a freak to lunch" day? 98 00:03:59,695 --> 00:04:01,628 I totally forgot mine. 99 00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:02,929 Back off, Sadie. 100 00:04:02,931 --> 00:04:05,165 Jenna and I are together now. 101 00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:06,900 We are? 102 00:04:06,902 --> 00:04:09,369 I hope so. 103 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:13,073 Spoiler alert, you won't last the week. 104 00:04:13,075 --> 00:04:15,976 So forgive me if I don't commit your name to memory. 105 00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,477 You're welcome. 106 00:04:17,479 --> 00:04:18,912 Like a hungry coyote, 107 00:04:18,914 --> 00:04:20,513 Sadie preyed on the weak and wounded. 108 00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:21,948 If showed any fear at all, 109 00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:24,151 she'd spend the rest of the year eating me alive. 110 00:04:24,153 --> 00:04:25,886 Well, I already know your name. 111 00:04:25,888 --> 00:04:27,954 It's Sadie Sucks-ton, right? 112 00:04:29,925 --> 00:04:33,459 Sorry. 113 00:04:33,461 --> 00:04:34,961 I'm not sorry. 114 00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:40,901 You are such a bitch. 115 00:04:40,903 --> 00:04:42,569 I like you. 116 00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:47,040 So, "J", are you hanging with us today, 117 00:04:47,042 --> 00:04:48,441 or are you eating at the V.I.P. table? 118 00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:49,810 It's been, like, a week. 119 00:04:49,812 --> 00:04:51,277 Well, I'd rather eat with you guys, 120 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:52,779 but I don't wanna hurt Matty's feelings. 121 00:04:52,781 --> 00:04:54,280 - What about our feelings? - Come on, guys. 122 00:04:54,282 --> 00:04:56,249 It's not like I'm gonna be BFFs with Sadie 123 00:04:56,251 --> 00:04:58,451 and become popular overnight. 124 00:05:03,158 --> 00:05:05,291 Where'd you score the lactoids, Hamilton... 125 00:05:05,293 --> 00:05:07,360 sudden grown spurt or cutlets? 126 00:05:07,362 --> 00:05:09,562 - I got a boob job. - Overnight? 127 00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:11,098 I heal fast. 128 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,366 Do you think I should get implants? 129 00:05:13,368 --> 00:05:14,667 Maybe just a lift. 130 00:05:14,669 --> 00:05:16,703 And a nipple reduction. 131 00:05:16,705 --> 00:05:18,705 Hamilton, can we sidebar? 132 00:05:18,707 --> 00:05:20,573 Isn't it obvious? She's moved on. 133 00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:24,510 So feel free to resume your life on the D-list without her. 134 00:05:24,512 --> 00:05:26,713 You're welcome. 135 00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:27,914 Come on, Sadie. 136 00:05:27,916 --> 00:05:29,883 To join the mob, you proved your loyalty 137 00:05:29,885 --> 00:05:31,384 by making your first kill. 138 00:05:31,386 --> 00:05:34,520 To stay popular, I had to sacrifice my friendships. 139 00:05:34,522 --> 00:05:38,091 They're not D-listers... 140 00:05:38,093 --> 00:05:39,525 unless you grade on a curve 141 00:05:39,527 --> 00:05:41,327 the size of her shelf-butt. 142 00:05:43,232 --> 00:05:45,365 Sorry. I'm not sorry. 143 00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:48,268 And just like that, I was made. 144 00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:51,404 Nice whore-drobe, skanksquatch. 145 00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,776 This is the first time you've come up 146 00:05:55,778 --> 00:05:57,644 on my radar, Miss Hamilton, 147 00:05:57,646 --> 00:05:59,045 and I hope it's the last. 148 00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:01,915 Yeah, me too. 149 00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:03,283 Why am I here? 150 00:06:03,285 --> 00:06:04,951 Because I didn't like mean girls 151 00:06:04,953 --> 00:06:06,319 when I was in high school, 152 00:06:06,321 --> 00:06:07,854 and I don't care for them now. 153 00:06:07,856 --> 00:06:09,189 If you're calling me a mean girl, 154 00:06:09,191 --> 00:06:10,556 you better have the proof to back it up. 155 00:06:10,558 --> 00:06:12,725 Because the way I see it, that's slander. 156 00:06:12,727 --> 00:06:14,560 Oh, no. No, no, no. 157 00:06:14,562 --> 00:06:15,862 I wasn't implying that. 158 00:06:15,864 --> 00:06:19,032 I meant that as a popular, 159 00:06:19,034 --> 00:06:21,734 envied student with good hair 160 00:06:21,736 --> 00:06:23,670 and a great set of bazooms, 161 00:06:23,672 --> 00:06:26,973 you have the opportunity to use your power for good. 162 00:06:26,975 --> 00:06:29,176 Okay, val, why don't I start with you? 163 00:06:29,178 --> 00:06:30,911 Unless you keep a lid on the crazy 164 00:06:30,913 --> 00:06:32,445 and stop dressing like a Walmart greeter, 165 00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:34,647 the only action you're ever gonna get 166 00:06:34,649 --> 00:06:36,216 is your annual visit to the gyno. 167 00:06:36,218 --> 00:06:38,318 Sorry. I'm not sorry. 168 00:06:41,203 --> 00:06:43,203 Whenever peeps bitched about high school 169 00:06:43,205 --> 00:06:45,872 being the most painful time of their lives, 170 00:06:45,874 --> 00:06:48,141 I always assumed they were losers. 171 00:06:48,143 --> 00:06:50,777 Because I was halfway through sophomore year 172 00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:52,112 and I was killing it. 173 00:06:52,114 --> 00:06:53,980 Every girl wanted to be me and 174 00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:56,682 every guy wanted to bone... except the gay ones, 175 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,818 who still wanted to see my boobs. 176 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:00,586 But even though my life was perfect, 177 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,088 I couldn't help by wonder 178 00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:04,057 why the hell was I wasting time 179 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:05,959 recounting every little thing that happened to me 180 00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:07,860 on some lame blog? 181 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:11,564 Blogging was stupid. 182 00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:13,133 Hey, pretty girl. 183 00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:15,568 I need your expert opinion. 184 00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:19,072 What do you think of this for the Sotos' cocktail party? 185 00:07:19,074 --> 00:07:20,873 Add earrings. Hoops, not studs. 186 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,142 Change the pumps. And you might wanna 187 00:07:22,144 --> 00:07:24,177 think about busting out the spanx. 188 00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:26,746 Oh. Thanks, honey. 189 00:07:26,748 --> 00:07:29,015 I would be a mess without you. 190 00:07:29,017 --> 00:07:32,385 Oh, and this letter came for you. 191 00:07:32,387 --> 00:07:33,619 Can you read it to me? 192 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,855 My nails are still wet. 193 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,225 Okay. 194 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,996 "Dear, Jenna, as you are now, 195 00:07:42,998 --> 00:07:47,033 you are... awesome! 196 00:07:47,035 --> 00:07:48,768 Words cannot express 197 00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:51,037 how perfect you are in every way. 198 00:07:51,039 --> 00:07:54,107 You are a role model for girls the world over, 199 00:07:54,109 --> 00:07:56,709 because you are beautiful, skinny, 200 00:07:56,711 --> 00:07:58,611 cool and stylish. 201 00:07:58,613 --> 00:08:02,748 I would not change a single thing about you. 202 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:06,819 Love, mom." 203 00:08:13,461 --> 00:08:15,495 Thanks, Lace. 204 00:08:16,798 --> 00:08:19,232 You can go now. 205 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,435 Okay. 206 00:08:24,312 --> 00:08:26,746 Wow. You look smokin'. 207 00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,914 I am smokin'. 208 00:08:30,485 --> 00:08:32,618 I saw Tamara at the game and she asked about you. 209 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,086 You should really hang out with her sometime. 210 00:08:34,088 --> 00:08:35,688 I can't. She's a dork. 211 00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:37,357 And I don't have that luxury now. 212 00:08:37,359 --> 00:08:39,024 As the most popular girl at Palos Hills, 213 00:08:39,026 --> 00:08:41,694 it's my job to worry about what everyone thinks. 214 00:08:41,696 --> 00:08:44,230 And they think about me all the time. 215 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,998 Well, for whatever it's worth, 216 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,600 Tamara misses you. Shut up. 217 00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:50,703 - No, really, she does. - No, really, shut up. 218 00:08:58,846 --> 00:09:01,213 Mmm. 219 00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:02,815 Oh, I can't be horizontal. 220 00:09:02,817 --> 00:09:04,250 I just had a blowout. 221 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,719 Babe, I just got lasered! 222 00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:08,287 Lay off the merch. 223 00:09:08,289 --> 00:09:10,556 I told you, they have to settle in. 224 00:09:10,558 --> 00:09:12,692 It's been three months. 225 00:09:18,059 --> 00:09:19,659 So, are you thinking 226 00:09:19,661 --> 00:09:21,828 limo or town car for the dance? 227 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:23,262 I told you 20 times, 228 00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:25,331 I want a black on black stretch limo. 229 00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:26,799 Do I need to write it down, 230 00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:29,602 or is reading an issue? 231 00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,307 Don't get mad at me for saying this, 232 00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:36,542 but someone has to. 233 00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:38,511 Jenna Hamilton's a raging bitch. 234 00:09:38,513 --> 00:09:40,245 I know. But she hasn't always 235 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,514 been like that, man. 236 00:09:41,516 --> 00:09:44,149 She used to be really cool. 237 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,887 She was the first girl who actually liked me for me... 238 00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:49,388 or so I thought. 239 00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:51,958 So then why do you put up with her crap? 240 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,494 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 241 00:09:54,496 --> 00:09:56,428 I'm sorry, Jenna, you're just... 242 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,831 you're not the same girl I met at camp. 243 00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:00,132 You changed. 244 00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:03,135 And to be honest, I'm kinda into someone else, 245 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:05,771 someone off the grid and... 246 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,374 and normal and down to earth. 247 00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,810 You stupid moron. 248 00:10:10,812 --> 00:10:12,444 You can't break up with me. 249 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,980 I'm breaking up with you. 250 00:10:13,982 --> 00:10:16,582 And for the record, it's not me, it's you. 251 00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:18,518 I don't need you anyway. 252 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,352 I could have anybody I want. 253 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:22,989 I'm Jenna Hamilton! 254 00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:34,334 Since my due-over fantasy turned out 255 00:10:34,335 --> 00:10:35,567 to be more of a nightmare, 256 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:38,204 I decided second-guessing myself 257 00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:39,638 wasn't the way to go. 258 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,540 Maybe I had made the right decision 259 00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:43,276 to go into that closet with Matty. 260 00:10:43,278 --> 00:10:46,045 "Enough about Matty. I'm pro Jake. 261 00:10:46,047 --> 00:10:48,047 How did you tank that relationship?" 262 00:10:48,049 --> 00:10:49,848 Thought that was pretty obvious. 263 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:53,019 I should've told him the truth about Matty from the beginning. 264 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,553 But I couldn't go back to the scene of the crime 265 00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:58,057 to right the wrong... or could I? 266 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,161 Stop. 267 00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:03,362 Before you kiss me, you should know. 268 00:11:03,364 --> 00:11:04,596 That guy I've been upset about, 269 00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:06,165 it isn't you. It's Matty. 270 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:07,433 I just had to lay it out there 271 00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:08,935 before you got further invested in me 272 00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:10,903 and I got invested in you because if I didn't, 273 00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,338 someone would've gotten hurt... 274 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,540 namely you, with a punch to the face. 275 00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,442 So if given the choice between you or Matty, 276 00:11:16,444 --> 00:11:18,744 which normally I would debate for months, 277 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,112 I pick you. 278 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,713 This is a lot to process. 279 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,016 Trust me, you'll be much happier with me 280 00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:25,251 than you'd ever be with Lissa. 281 00:11:25,253 --> 00:11:26,618 So I'll break it off with Matty, 282 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,721 you get rid of Lissa, and we can be together. 283 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,427 What I'm saying is, 284 00:11:34,429 --> 00:11:37,163 I don't think that either one of us has been happy. 285 00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:39,698 I feel like I need some space. 286 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,101 You're transferring to another school? 287 00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:43,936 No, Liss. 288 00:11:43,938 --> 00:11:47,974 I think that we should, you know... 289 00:11:47,976 --> 00:11:50,142 - break up. - But I really like you. 290 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,978 Actions speak louder than words, 291 00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:55,381 which is why I'm gonna be dating your best friend. 292 00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:56,615 What? 293 00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:58,117 Yeah. 294 00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:01,988 Should we be doing this in your room? 295 00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:03,889 In my fantasy, my mom and dad 296 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,424 were out of town... a lot. 297 00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:08,160 My parents are in... Aruba. 298 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,329 It was a win-win for everybody. 299 00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:12,731 Cool. 300 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,200 - Ahh, yeah. - Aah. 301 00:12:14,202 --> 00:12:16,102 - Ahh. - Wait, wait. 302 00:12:16,104 --> 00:12:17,636 Ooh, don't move. 303 00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:18,937 Yeah. 304 00:12:21,476 --> 00:12:23,876 Oh, my God. 305 00:12:23,878 --> 00:12:25,478 Oh, my God. 306 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,514 "T," the sex with mind-blowing. 307 00:12:28,516 --> 00:12:30,249 It wasn't just a physical experience. 308 00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,851 It was emotional and spiritual. 309 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,220 There was zero chemistry. 310 00:12:34,222 --> 00:12:36,055 Sorry, man. That blows. 311 00:12:36,057 --> 00:12:37,356 I don't mean to be weird, 312 00:12:37,358 --> 00:12:39,291 but was there chemistry with you and Jenna 313 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,127 - the first time? - Definitely. 314 00:12:41,129 --> 00:12:42,761 So it is me. 315 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,030 Damn it! 316 00:12:44,032 --> 00:12:45,564 Maybe I should try it again. 317 00:12:45,566 --> 00:12:49,902 Hey, do you mind waiting in the car? 318 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,318 I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion 319 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,087 from our recent bone-a-thon, 320 00:13:08,089 --> 00:13:09,522 but Jake was acting strange. 321 00:13:09,524 --> 00:13:11,657 Maybe he was afraid I wasn't as into him 322 00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:13,159 as he was into me. 323 00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:15,461 And there was only one way to set his mind at ease. 324 00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:17,463 I love you. 325 00:13:17,465 --> 00:13:19,998 Awesome. 326 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,306 Awesome? What was that? 327 00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:28,774 You need to back off. 328 00:13:28,776 --> 00:13:31,377 As in, put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. 329 00:13:31,379 --> 00:13:33,212 You're gonna scare him away. 330 00:13:33,214 --> 00:13:34,780 But I love him. 331 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:36,048 That's the sex talking. 332 00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:38,050 Yeah. You're in a sex trance. 333 00:13:38,052 --> 00:13:39,885 No, I'm not. 334 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,220 Am I? 335 00:13:41,222 --> 00:13:42,521 You were so right. 336 00:13:42,523 --> 00:13:44,590 Jake's totally cooled it on that skitch. 337 00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:47,359 So instead of looking like an a-hole 338 00:13:47,361 --> 00:13:49,161 by punching Jenna in the face 339 00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:51,197 or putting bleach in her shampoo... 340 00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:53,065 I was just spit-balling. 341 00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,900 You're in the perfect position 342 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,603 to swoop in and win him back. 343 00:13:57,605 --> 00:13:59,805 You're welcome. 344 00:13:59,807 --> 00:14:02,040 Now get in there... 345 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,009 and act cool. 346 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,744 Yeah. 347 00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:07,613 I just feel like she's suffocating me 348 00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:09,681 and I can't even talk to her about it. 349 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,550 I'm sorry. Is this weird for you? 350 00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:13,919 No! I like hearing about you and Jenna, 351 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,721 especially how she annoys you. 352 00:14:15,723 --> 00:14:18,257 Well, I probably shouldn't be saying this, 353 00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:20,792 but I think I made a mistake. 354 00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:21,960 I miss you, Liss. 355 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,229 Yay! 356 00:14:23,231 --> 00:14:25,063 We're back together. 357 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,402 Oh, yeah. 358 00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:32,538 Jake's about to pump and dump you. 359 00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,406 He's getting back together with dumb-o. 360 00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:36,108 No way. We're in love. 361 00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:38,043 You're in love. He's in awesome. 362 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,115 He is dumping me. 363 00:14:43,117 --> 00:14:44,316 What do I do? 364 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,685 - You need a sexorcism. - No! Save face. 365 00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:48,887 Blindside him with a preemptive dump. 366 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,089 But he's the one. 367 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:54,160 Sex trance. 368 00:14:54,162 --> 00:14:55,561 Ooh. 369 00:14:55,563 --> 00:14:58,497 I have received many a similar text. 370 00:14:58,499 --> 00:15:00,633 There is no doubt about it, you are toast. 371 00:15:00,635 --> 00:15:02,701 - So how do I keep him? - We have two options. 372 00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:05,137 One, you tattoo Jake's name on your arm 373 00:15:05,139 --> 00:15:07,072 where it's visible to the viewing public. 374 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,141 Then you beg him to stay together. 375 00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:11,009 He'll say yes because he's a sucker. 376 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,513 And then, never get it removed. 377 00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:16,782 Or we could do it the old-fashioned way. 378 00:15:16,784 --> 00:15:20,419 I'm pregnant. 379 00:15:25,493 --> 00:15:27,493 Looks like history's repeating itself. 380 00:15:27,495 --> 00:15:29,094 Maybe you'll have a girl so you can 381 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,129 pass on the legacy of slutitude. 382 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,898 Just because Jake and I are back together, 383 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,234 doesn't mean I'm gonna help you raise your baby. 384 00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:37,570 Unless it's, like, really cute. 385 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,409 This day sucks. 386 00:15:43,411 --> 00:15:45,143 Which is what you should've done 387 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,112 so you wouldn't be in this position. 388 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:49,147 My advice, give that rugrat up for adoption. 389 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,516 Cute white babies go faster 390 00:15:50,518 --> 00:15:52,084 than singles at a titty bar. 391 00:15:52,086 --> 00:15:53,619 Guys, I'm still eating for one. 392 00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:55,421 I just said that to hold on to Jake. 393 00:15:55,423 --> 00:15:56,888 You were trying to trap him? 394 00:15:58,226 --> 00:15:59,625 You make it sound so horrible. 395 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:02,494 Jenna, it is horrible. 396 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,398 So you're not pregnant? 397 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,068 Sorry. 398 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,537 I just didn't want to lose you. 399 00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:14,440 Even if you were, we could never be together. 400 00:16:14,442 --> 00:16:16,508 I would love that really cute baby, 401 00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:19,311 but I would never love you. 402 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,253 What are you guys doing here? 403 00:16:27,255 --> 00:16:28,487 Shouldn't you be in Aruba? 404 00:16:28,489 --> 00:16:30,356 We should be. 405 00:16:30,358 --> 00:16:32,090 Seems like we're there a lot these days. 406 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,092 We came home as soon as we got the news. 407 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,527 I'm not pregnant. 408 00:16:35,529 --> 00:16:38,029 It was a last-ditch effort to try an keep Jake. 409 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,366 Oh, thank God. 410 00:16:41,802 --> 00:16:44,670 I am far too hot to be a grandma. 411 00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,739 I don't trust you anymore, Jenna, 412 00:16:46,741 --> 00:16:50,643 which is why I need you to pee on this stick. 413 00:16:52,246 --> 00:16:54,212 I can't believe you're making me do this, dad. 414 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,081 I'm so not... 415 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,216 pregnant? 416 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,553 Switch places with me, mama bear. 417 00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:04,623 You don't need to see that. 418 00:17:07,628 --> 00:17:09,161 Dodged a bullet. 419 00:17:14,195 --> 00:17:15,320 Turns out, I couldn't trust 420 00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:17,556 my instincts or my blog, 421 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,792 which apparently was hijacked by an angry muse 422 00:17:19,794 --> 00:17:22,962 determined to send my do-overs off the rails. 423 00:17:22,964 --> 00:17:26,365 Or was gut subconsciously trying to protect me 424 00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:28,834 from a miserable future with both guys? 425 00:17:28,836 --> 00:17:31,570 Which meant there was a third party in the mix. 426 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:35,741 I could pick Jake or Matty or no one. 427 00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:39,077 I still can't believe you blew off camp 428 00:17:39,079 --> 00:17:41,614 for summer school. It was so worth it. 429 00:17:41,616 --> 00:17:44,750 With the extra credits, I can graduate early. 430 00:17:54,293 --> 00:17:56,762 Why would you wanna do that? 431 00:17:56,764 --> 00:17:59,665 Because nothing interesting ever happens in high school. 432 00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:02,134 Really, not even getting digitized 433 00:18:02,136 --> 00:18:05,070 by Ricky Schwartz in the back of the bus? 434 00:18:05,072 --> 00:18:08,574 You dirty little... you know what. 435 00:18:13,547 --> 00:18:15,080 If you had gone to camp, "J," 436 00:18:15,082 --> 00:18:16,782 maybe you'd be a woman of the world too. 437 00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:21,420 Matty McKibben worked at Camp Pookah this summer. 438 00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:24,690 Why does everyone always call that guy by his full name? 439 00:18:24,692 --> 00:18:27,426 Like Matty McKibben would ever notice me. 440 00:18:27,428 --> 00:18:29,061 Camp levels out the playing field. 441 00:18:29,063 --> 00:18:31,030 Imagine if you guys had hooked up, 442 00:18:31,032 --> 00:18:33,432 or had sex in a closet or something. 443 00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:34,700 Boy, this year would be different. 444 00:18:34,702 --> 00:18:37,536 Me and Matty McKibben? Yeah, right. 445 00:18:38,939 --> 00:18:41,807 Oh. Whoa. 446 00:18:41,809 --> 00:18:43,275 I'm sorry about that. 447 00:18:43,277 --> 00:18:45,277 That's okay. 448 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:47,412 Missed one. 449 00:18:49,182 --> 00:18:50,950 Without so much as a flirtatious wink 450 00:18:50,952 --> 00:18:53,953 from Matty or a coy smile from Jake, 451 00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:55,854 the boys walked off with their girls, 452 00:18:55,856 --> 00:18:59,792 never even bothering to ask Jenna's name. 453 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,573 Isn't it great that Matty and Jake 454 00:19:14,575 --> 00:19:17,710 finally came out of the closet? 455 00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:24,344 What I discovered during my journey into the world of fiction, 456 00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:27,290 one, there was no point in hoping for a do-over, 457 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,737 because sometimes, they suck more than the reality, 458 00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:32,289 two, I did not want to write fiction, 459 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,979 three, I couldn't write fiction, 460 00:19:35,099 --> 00:19:38,626 and four, I couldn't write the facts with an audience. 461 00:19:38,815 --> 00:19:41,273 So when it came to the boys, I had no regret. 462 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,701 If I hadn't trusted my instincts, 463 00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:48,469 I would have missed out on some amazing, and incredibly painful experiences. 464 00:19:48,506 --> 00:19:51,172 Experiences that made me who I am. 465 00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:53,306 Who paved the way for who I'd be. 466 00:19:53,594 --> 00:19:56,440 Good, bad or ugly, I was going to go with my gut, 467 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,467 if a do-over wasn't an option 468 00:19:58,473 --> 00:20:00,144 maybe a start over was. 469 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,715 And I finally knew who it would be with. 470 00:20:03,147 --> 00:20:05,306 But why was I telling the public at large? 471 00:20:05,531 --> 00:20:07,414 It should be private. 472 00:20:09,156 --> 00:20:19,280 Synced and corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 473 00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:20,778 Next on Awkward... 474 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,812 Spin the bottle, it was a wreck of a rite of passage. 475 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,677 The bottle didn't know what I wanted, 476 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:26,872 but I did. 477 00:20:26,922 --> 00:20:30,470 Remember, all good things in my life, are closely followed by something bad. 478 00:20:30,473 --> 00:20:33,219 The other shoe is poised to drop at any moment. 479 00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:35,052 Surprise! 480 00:20:35,053 --> 00:20:36,467 Ever heard of knock?!