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<i>Previously on Awkward...</i>

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My life was full of unexpected choices.

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We've decided not to let
a girl come between us.

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So you need to choose, him or me.

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You should date each other.

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But someone had to win,
someone had to lose,

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and I was still left to choose.

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I used to think being in love

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with two people at once only
happened on reality shows,

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where finding a soul mate was nudged along

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by a dozen roses, a cheese-tastic host,

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and a camera crew up your ass.

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I never bought that bogus B.S....

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until it happened to me.

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I didn't have to choose
between Matty or Jake,

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but I wanted to.

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When it came to life-altering decisions,

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I resorted to my go-to
method of problem solving...

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blogging it out.

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[Computer beeps]

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"Pick Matty." "Pick Jake."

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"Matty is the only choice."

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"Jake is awesometown."

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Turns out, my readers
were as confused as I was.

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[Computer beeps] "Get over it."

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"Pick a guy already." "Team Matty."

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"Team Jake. Team... Jonah?

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"We have third period together.

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I'm the one with the Jew 'fro."

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Oh.

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It was impossible to think

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with the peanut gallery chiming in.

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How could I possibly
blog my way to an answer

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if I couldn't write my truth?

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Unless...

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I tried my hand at fiction.

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It was the six month anniversary

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of the first tryst in the utility closet,

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and Jenna couldn't stop thinking about it.

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Those ill-fitting camp shirts,

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the filthy space, the cold, dank floor...

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Matty's sub-zero skin,

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Jenna couldn't help but consider,

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should she finally let him turn her

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so they could spend eternity together?

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Do you know what today is?

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Tuesday.

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He didn't remember.

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Jenna was crushed.

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She didn't realize the
undead could suck so hard.

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Happy anniversary.

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He'll never be able to
give you what you need.

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But I can.

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But she couldn't discount Jake,

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who she occasionally referred to as Jacob.

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Sexy in his own right
and an amazing kisser,

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Jenna could only imagine
how their sex would be.

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She thought it would be hot.

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For real, Jake's body
temp hovered around 150.

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[Computer beeps]

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My brief foray into fiction

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lead me to one obvious conclusion...

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I was a hack.

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So I wasn't all that great

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when left to my own devices.

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What I needed was a push
in the right direction,

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or any direction.

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Because I was lost, in love.

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Whenever I lost my keys,
which happened a lot,

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I retraced my steps.

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Maybe I needed to retrace my past

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to figure out my future.

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"If you had a do-over with Matty,

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how would you handle it?"

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A do-over... it was
an interesting concept.

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And I knew exactly what
I would do differently.

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[Techno music]

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I was afraid you weren't gonna show.

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- Wait, I'm not going in there.
- Why not?

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Because if I do, we're gonna have sex.

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And I'll be totally into you,

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and you'll ignore me, and
I'm not cool with that.

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So if you wanna get to know me,

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ask me out.

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[Acoustic guitar music]

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♪ When we meet again

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♪ my bones will ache

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Didn't you hear me yelling at you

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to come get your clothes when you came in?

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Yeah, I heard you.

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I just didn't feel like doing it.

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Watch your tone, young lady,

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or you can start doing your own laundry.

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This letter came for you.

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I'll take the clothes, but...

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you might wanna rethink that.

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[School bell rings]

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Guys, this is Jenna.

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Hey.

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Sit next to me.

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Jenna, you would look so
pretty with a makeover.

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Oh, damn, is it "bring
a freak to lunch" day?

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I totally forgot mine.

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Back off, Sadie.

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Jenna and I are together now.

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We are?

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I hope so. [Chuckles]

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Spoiler alert, you won't last the week.

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So forgive me if I don't
commit your name to memory.

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You're welcome.

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Like a hungry coyote,

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Sadie preyed on the weak and wounded.

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If showed any fear at all,

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she'd spend the rest of
the year eating me alive.

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Well, I already know your name.

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It's Sadie Sucks-ton, right?

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[Chuckles]

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- [Laughs]
- Sorry.

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I'm not sorry.

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You are such a bitch.

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I like you.

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[Laid-back music]

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So, "J", are you hanging with us today,

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or are you eating at the V.I.P. table?

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It's been, like, a week.

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Well, I'd rather eat with you guys,

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but I don't wanna hurt Matty's feelings.

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- What about our feelings?
- Come on, guys.

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It's not like I'm gonna be BFFs with Sadie

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and become popular overnight.

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[Techno music]

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♪ Come with me come with me ♪

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Where'd you score the lactoids, Hamilton...

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sudden grown spurt or cutlets?

137
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- I got a boob job.
- Overnight?

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I heal fast.

139
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Do you think I should get implants?

140
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Maybe just a lift.

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And a nipple reduction.

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Hamilton, can we sidebar?

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Isn't it obvious? She's moved on.

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So feel free to resume your
life on the D-list without her.

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You're welcome.

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Come on, Sadie.

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To join the mob, you proved your loyalty

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by making your first kill.

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To stay popular, I had to
sacrifice my friendships.

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They're not D-listers...

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unless you grade on a curve

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the size of her shelf-butt.

153
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[Laughter]

154
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Sorry. I'm not sorry.

155
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And just like that, I was made.

156
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Nice whore-drobe, skanksquatch.

157
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This is the first time you've come up

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on my radar, Miss Hamilton,

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and I hope it's the last.

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[Cell phone chimes] Yeah, me too.

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Why am I here?

162
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Because I didn't like mean girls

163
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when I was in high school,

164
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and I don't care for them now.

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If you're calling me a mean girl,

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you better have the proof to back it up.

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Because the way I see it, that's slander.

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Oh, no. No, no, no.

169
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I wasn't implying that.

170
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I meant that as a popular,

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envied student with good hair

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and a great set of bazooms,

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you have the opportunity
to use your power for good.

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Okay, val, why don't I start with you?

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Unless you keep a lid on the crazy

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and stop dressing like a Walmart greeter,

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the only action you're ever gonna get

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is your annual visit to the gyno.

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Sorry. I'm not sorry.

180
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[Rock music]

181
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Whenever peeps bitched about high school

182
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being the most painful time of their lives,

183
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I always assumed they were losers.

184
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Because I was halfway
through sophomore year

185
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and I was killing it.

186
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Every girl wanted to be me and

187
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every guy wanted to bone...
except the gay ones,

188
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who still wanted to see my boobs.

189
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But even though my life was perfect,

190
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I couldn't help by wonder

191
00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:03,957
why the hell was I wasting time

192
00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:05,859
recounting every little
thing that happened to me

193
00:07:05,861 --> 00:07:07,760
on some lame blog?

194
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Blogging was stupid.

195
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Hey, pretty girl.

196
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I need your expert opinion.

197
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What do you think of this
for the Sotos' cocktail party?

198
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Add earrings. Hoops, not studs.

199
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Change the pumps. And you might wanna

200
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think about busting out the spanx.

201
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Oh. Thanks, honey.

202
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I would be a mess without you.

203
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Oh, and this letter came for you.

204
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Can you read it to me?

205
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My nails are still wet.

206
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Okay.

207
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"Dear, Jenna, as you are now,

208
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you are... awesome!

209
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Words cannot express

210
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how perfect you are in every way.

211
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You are a role model
for girls the world over,

212
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because you are beautiful, skinny,

213
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cool and stylish.

214
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I would not change a
single thing about you.

215
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:06,719
Love, mom."

216
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Thanks, Lace.

217
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[Knock at door]

218
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You can go now.

219
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Okay.

220
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[Door opens]

221
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Wow. You look smokin'.

222
00:08:26,648 --> 00:08:28,814
I am smokin'.

223
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[Laughs]

224
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,518
I saw Tamara at the game
and she asked about you.

225
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,986
You should really hang
out with her sometime.

226
00:08:33,988 --> 00:08:35,588
I can't. She's a dork.

227
00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:37,257
And I don't have that luxury now.

228
00:08:37,259 --> 00:08:38,924
As the most popular girl at Palos Hills,

229
00:08:38,926 --> 00:08:41,594
it's my job to worry
about what everyone thinks.

230
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And they think about me all the time.

231
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,898
Well, for whatever it's worth,

232
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Tamara misses you. Shut up.

233
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- No, really, she does.
- No, really, shut up.

234
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Mmm.

235
00:09:01,115 --> 00:09:02,715
Oh, I can't be horizontal.

236
00:09:02,717 --> 00:09:04,150
I just had a blowout.

237
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,619
Babe, I just got lasered!

238
00:09:06,621 --> 00:09:08,187
Lay off the merch.

239
00:09:08,189 --> 00:09:10,456
I told you, they have to settle in.

240
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:12,592
It's been three months.

241
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,328
<i>["Bad Feeling" by Veronica Falls]</i>

242
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:17,957
♪ Your face in the mirror ♪

243
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:19,559
So, are you thinking

244
00:09:19,561 --> 00:09:21,728
limo or town car for the dance?

245
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,162
I told you 20 times,

246
00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:25,231
I want a black on black stretch limo.

247
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:26,699
Do I need to write it down,

248
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:29,502
or is reading an issue?

249
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,207
Don't get mad at me for saying this,

250
00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:36,442
but someone has to.

251
00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:38,411
Jenna Hamilton's a raging bitch.

252
00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:40,145
I know. But she hasn't always

253
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,414
been like that, man.

254
00:09:41,416 --> 00:09:44,049
She used to be really cool.

255
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:47,787
She was the first girl who
actually liked me for me...

256
00:09:47,789 --> 00:09:49,288
or so I thought.

257
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:51,858
So then why do you put up with her crap?

258
00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:54,394
I don't think we should
see each other anymore.

259
00:09:54,396 --> 00:09:56,328
I'm sorry, Jenna, you're just...

260
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,731
you're not the same girl I met at camp.

261
00:09:58,733 --> 00:10:00,032
You changed.

262
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:03,035
And to be honest, I'm
kinda into someone else,

263
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,671
someone off the grid and...

264
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,274
and normal and down to earth.

265
00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:10,710
You stupid moron.

266
00:10:10,712 --> 00:10:12,344
You can't break up with me.

267
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:13,880
I'm breaking up with you.

268
00:10:13,882 --> 00:10:16,482
And for the record, it's not me, it's you.

269
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I don't need you anyway.

270
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,252
I could have anybody I want.

271
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:22,889
I'm Jenna Hamilton!

272
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,496
[Screams]

273
00:10:32,592 --> 00:10:34,234
Since my due-over fantasy turned out

274
00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:35,467
to be more of a nightmare,

275
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,104
I decided second-guessing myself

276
00:10:38,106 --> 00:10:39,538
wasn't the way to go.

277
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:41,440
Maybe I had made the right decision

278
00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:43,176
to go into that closet with Matty.

279
00:10:43,178 --> 00:10:45,945
"Enough about Matty. I'm pro Jake.

280
00:10:45,947 --> 00:10:47,947
How did you tank that relationship?"

281
00:10:47,949 --> 00:10:49,748
Thought that was pretty obvious.

282
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,919
I should've told him the truth
about Matty from the beginning.

283
00:10:52,921 --> 00:10:54,453
But I couldn't go back
to the scene of the crime

284
00:10:54,455 --> 00:10:57,957
to right the wrong...  or could I?

285
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,061
Stop.

286
00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:03,262
Before you kiss me, you should know.

287
00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:04,496
That guy I've been upset about,

288
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,065
it isn't you. It's Matty.

289
00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,333
I just had to lay it out there

290
00:11:07,335 --> 00:11:08,835
before you got further invested in me

291
00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,803
and I got invested in
you because if I didn't,

292
00:11:10,805 --> 00:11:12,238
someone would've gotten hurt...

293
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,440
namely you, with a punch to the face.

294
00:11:14,442 --> 00:11:16,342
So if given the choice
between you or Matty,

295
00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:18,644
which normally I would debate for months,

296
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:20,012
I pick you.

297
00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:21,613
This is a lot to process.

298
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:23,916
Trust me, you'll be much happier with me

299
00:11:23,918 --> 00:11:25,151
than you'd ever be with Lissa.

300
00:11:25,153 --> 00:11:26,518
So I'll break it off with Matty,

301
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,621
you get rid of Lissa,
and we can be together.

302
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,327
What I'm saying is,

303
00:11:34,329 --> 00:11:37,063
I don't think that either
one of us has been happy.

304
00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:39,598
I feel like I need some space.

305
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,001
You're transferring to another school?

306
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,836
No, Liss.

307
00:11:43,838 --> 00:11:47,874
I think that we should, you know...

308
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:50,042
- break up.
- But I really like you.

309
00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:51,878
Actions speak louder than words,

310
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,281
which is why I'm gonna be
dating your best friend.

311
00:11:55,283 --> 00:11:56,515
What?

312
00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:58,017
Yeah.

313
00:11:58,019 --> 00:12:00,419
[Exhales]

314
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:01,888
Should we be doing this in your room?

315
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,789
In my fantasy, my mom and dad

316
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,324
were out of town... a lot.

317
00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:08,060
My parents are in...  Aruba.

318
00:12:08,062 --> 00:12:10,229
It was a win-win for everybody.

319
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,631
Cool.

320
00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:14,100
- Ahh, yeah.
- Aah.

321
00:12:14,102 --> 00:12:16,002
- Both: Ahh.
- Wait, wait.

322
00:12:16,004 --> 00:12:17,536
- [Moans]
- Ooh, don't move.

323
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:18,837
Yeah.

324
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,374
[Exhales]

325
00:12:21,376 --> 00:12:23,776
Oh, my God.

326
00:12:23,778 --> 00:12:25,378
Oh, my God.

327
00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:28,414
"T," the sex with mind-blowing.

328
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:30,149
It wasn't just a physical experience.

329
00:12:30,151 --> 00:12:32,751
It was emotional and spiritual.

330
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,120
There was zero chemistry.

331
00:12:34,122 --> 00:12:35,955
Sorry, man. That blows.

332
00:12:35,957 --> 00:12:37,256
I don't mean to be weird,

333
00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:39,191
but was there chemistry with you and Jenna

334
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,027
- the first time?
- Definitely.

335
00:12:41,029 --> 00:12:42,661
So it is me.

336
00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:43,930
Damn it!

337
00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:45,464
Maybe I should try it again.

338
00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:49,802
Hey, do you mind waiting in the car?

339
00:12:49,804 --> 00:12:51,870
♪ Oh, I need

340
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:55,908
♪ your bedroom eyes

341
00:12:55,910 --> 00:13:01,647
♪ oh, I need your bedroom eyes ♪

342
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,218
I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion

343
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,987
from our recent bone-a-thon,

344
00:13:07,989 --> 00:13:09,422
but Jake was acting strange.

345
00:13:09,424 --> 00:13:11,557
Maybe he was afraid I wasn't as into him

346
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,059
as he was into me.

347
00:13:13,061 --> 00:13:15,361
And there was only one way
to set his mind at ease.

348
00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:17,363
I love you.

349
00:13:17,365 --> 00:13:19,898
Awesome.

350
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,206
Awesome? What was that?

351
00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:28,674
You need to back off.

352
00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:31,277
As in, put your thing down,
flip it, and reverse it.

353
00:13:31,279 --> 00:13:33,112
You're gonna scare him away.

354
00:13:33,114 --> 00:13:34,680
But I love him.

355
00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:35,948
That's the sex talking.

356
00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:37,950
Yeah. You're in a sex trance.

357
00:13:37,952 --> 00:13:39,785
No, I'm not.

358
00:13:39,787 --> 00:13:41,120
Am I?

359
00:13:41,122 --> 00:13:42,421
You were so right.

360
00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:44,490
Jake's totally cooled it on that skitch.

361
00:13:44,492 --> 00:13:47,259
So instead of looking like an a-hole

362
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,061
by punching Jenna in the face

363
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:51,097
or putting bleach in her shampoo...

364
00:13:51,099 --> 00:13:52,965
I was just spit-balling.

365
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:54,800
You're in the perfect position

366
00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,503
to swoop in and win him back.

367
00:13:57,505 --> 00:13:59,705
You're welcome.

368
00:13:59,707 --> 00:14:01,940
Now get in there...

369
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,909
and act cool.

370
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,644
Yeah.

371
00:14:05,646 --> 00:14:07,513
I just feel like she's suffocating me

372
00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:09,581
and I can't even talk to her about it.

373
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,450
I'm sorry. Is this weird for you?

374
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,819
No! I like hearing about you and Jenna,

375
00:14:13,821 --> 00:14:15,621
especially how she annoys you.

376
00:14:15,623 --> 00:14:18,157
Well, I probably shouldn't be saying this,

377
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:20,692
but I think I made a mistake.

378
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:21,860
I miss you, Liss.

379
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,129
[Squeals] Yay!

380
00:14:23,131 --> 00:14:24,963
We're back together.

381
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,999
[Giggles]

382
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:28,834
[Kissing]

383
00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:30,302
Oh, yeah.

384
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,438
Jake's about to pump and dump you.

385
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,306
He's getting back together with dumb-o.

386
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,008
No way. We're in love.

387
00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:37,943
You're in love. He's in awesome.

388
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,912
[Cell phone chimes]

389
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,015
<i>He is dumping me.</i>

390
00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:44,216
What do I do?

391
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:46,585
- You need a sexorcism.
- No! Save face.

392
00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:48,787
Blindside him with a preemptive dump.

393
00:14:48,789 --> 00:14:50,989
But he's the one.

394
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:54,060
Both: Sex trance.

395
00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:55,461
[Exhales] Ooh.

396
00:14:55,463 --> 00:14:58,397
I have received many a similar text.

397
00:14:58,399 --> 00:15:00,533
There is no doubt about it, you are toast.

398
00:15:00,535 --> 00:15:02,601
- So how do I keep him?
- We have two options.

399
00:15:02,603 --> 00:15:05,037
One, you tattoo Jake's name on your arm

400
00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:06,972
where it's visible to the viewing public.

401
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,041
Then you beg him to stay together.

402
00:15:09,043 --> 00:15:10,909
He'll say yes because he's a sucker.

403
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:14,413
And then, never get it removed.

404
00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:16,682
Or we could do it the old-fashioned way.

405
00:15:16,684 --> 00:15:20,319
I'm pregnant.

406
00:15:20,321 --> 00:15:23,956
[Giggling]

407
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,391
[Snickering]

408
00:15:25,393 --> 00:15:27,393
Looks like history's repeating itself.

409
00:15:27,395 --> 00:15:28,994
Maybe you'll have a girl so you can

410
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:31,029
pass on the legacy of slutitude.

411
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,798
Just because Jake and I are back together,

412
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,134
doesn't mean I'm gonna
help you raise your baby.

413
00:15:35,136 --> 00:15:37,470
Unless it's, like, really cute.

414
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,309
This day sucks.

415
00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:45,043
Which is what you should've done

416
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:47,012
so you wouldn't be in this position.

417
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,047
My advice, give that
rugrat up for adoption.

418
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,416
Cute white babies go faster

419
00:15:50,418 --> 00:15:51,984
than singles at a titty bar.

420
00:15:51,986 --> 00:15:53,519
Guys, I'm still eating for one.

421
00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:55,321
I just said that to hold on to Jake.

422
00:15:55,323 --> 00:15:56,788
You were trying to trap him?

423
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,124
[Shushes]

424
00:15:58,126 --> 00:15:59,525
You make it sound so horrible.

425
00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:02,394
Jenna, it is horrible.

426
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,298
So you're not pregnant?

427
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:09,968
Sorry.

428
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,437
I just didn't want to lose you.

429
00:16:11,439 --> 00:16:14,340
Even if you were, we
could never be together.

430
00:16:14,342 --> 00:16:16,408
I would love that really cute baby,

431
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,211
but I would never love you.

432
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,153
What are you guys doing here?

433
00:16:27,155 --> 00:16:28,387
Shouldn't you be in Aruba?

434
00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:30,256
We should be.

435
00:16:30,258 --> 00:16:31,990
Seems like we're there a lot these days.

436
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,992
We came home as soon as we got the news.

437
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,427
I'm not pregnant.

438
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,929
It was a last-ditch
effort to try an keep Jake.

439
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,266
Oh, thank God.

440
00:16:40,268 --> 00:16:41,700
[Laughs]

441
00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:44,570
I am far too hot to be a grandma.

442
00:16:44,572 --> 00:16:46,639
I don't trust you anymore, Jenna,

443
00:16:46,641 --> 00:16:50,543
which is why I need you
to pee on this stick.

444
00:16:50,545 --> 00:16:52,144
[Sighs]

445
00:16:52,146 --> 00:16:54,112
I can't believe you're
making me do this, dad.

446
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,981
I'm so not...

447
00:16:55,983 --> 00:16:58,116
pregnant?

448
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,453
Switch places with me, mama bear.

449
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:04,523
You don't need to see that.

450
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,526
[Shudders]

451
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,061
Dodged a bullet.

452
00:17:09,063 --> 00:17:11,063
♪ Upside down

453
00:17:14,095 --> 00:17:15,220
Turns out, I couldn't trust

454
00:17:15,221 --> 00:17:17,456
my instincts or my blog,

455
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,692
which apparently was
hijacked by an angry muse

456
00:17:19,694 --> 00:17:22,862
determined to send my
do-overs off the rails.

457
00:17:22,864 --> 00:17:26,265
Or was gut subconsciously
trying to protect me

458
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,734
from a miserable future with both guys?

459
00:17:28,736 --> 00:17:31,470
Which meant there was a
third party in the mix.

460
00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:35,641
I could pick Jake or Matty or no one.

461
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,977
I still can't believe you blew off camp

462
00:17:38,979 --> 00:17:41,514
for summer school. It was so worth it.

463
00:17:41,516 --> 00:17:44,650
With the extra credits,
I can graduate early.

464
00:17:54,193 --> 00:17:56,662
Why would you wanna do that?

465
00:17:56,664 --> 00:17:59,565
Because nothing interesting
ever happens in high school.

466
00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:02,034
Really, not even getting digitized

467
00:18:02,036 --> 00:18:04,970
by Ricky Schwartz in the back of the bus?

468
00:18:04,972 --> 00:18:08,474
You dirty little... you know what.

469
00:18:13,447 --> 00:18:14,980
If you had gone to camp, "J,"

470
00:18:14,982 --> 00:18:16,682
maybe you'd be a woman of the world too.

471
00:18:16,684 --> 00:18:21,320
Matty McKibben worked at
Camp Pookah this summer.

472
00:18:21,322 --> 00:18:24,590
Why does everyone always call
that guy by his full name?

473
00:18:24,592 --> 00:18:27,326
Like Matty McKibben would ever notice me.

474
00:18:27,328 --> 00:18:28,961
Camp levels out the playing field.

475
00:18:28,963 --> 00:18:30,930
Imagine if you guys had hooked up,

476
00:18:30,932 --> 00:18:33,332
or had sex in a closet or something.

477
00:18:33,334 --> 00:18:34,600
Boy, this year would be different.

478
00:18:34,602 --> 00:18:37,436
Me and Matty McKibben? Yeah, right.

479
00:18:38,839 --> 00:18:41,707
Oh. Whoa.

480
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:43,175
I'm sorry about that.

481
00:18:43,177 --> 00:18:45,177
That's okay.

482
00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:47,312
Missed one.

483
00:18:49,082 --> 00:18:50,850
Without so much as a flirtatious wink

484
00:18:50,852 --> 00:18:53,853
from Matty or a coy smile from Jake,

485
00:18:53,855 --> 00:18:55,754
the boys walked off with their girls,

486
00:18:55,756 --> 00:18:59,692
never even bothering to ask Jenna's name.

487
00:19:08,468 --> 00:19:12,538
[Indistinct chatter]

488
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,473
Isn't it great that Matty and Jake

489
00:19:14,475 --> 00:19:17,610
finally came out of the closet?

490
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,244
What I discovered during my
journey into the world of fiction,

491
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,190
one, there was no point
in hoping for a do-over,

492
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,637
because sometimes, they
suck more than the reality,

493
00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:32,189
two, I did not want to write fiction,

494
00:19:32,364 --> 00:19:34,879
three, I couldn't write fiction,

495
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:38,526
and four, I couldn't write
the facts with an audience.

496
00:19:38,715 --> 00:19:41,173
So when it came to the
boys, I had no regret.

497
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,601
If I hadn't trusted my instincts,

498
00:19:43,658 --> 00:19:48,369
I would have missed out on some amazing,
and incredibly painful experiences.

499
00:19:48,406 --> 00:19:51,072
Experiences that made me who I am.

500
00:19:51,116 --> 00:19:53,206
Who paved the way for who I'd be.

501
00:19:53,494 --> 00:19:56,340
Good, bad or ugly, I was
going to go with my gut,

502
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:58,367
if a do-over wasn't an option

503
00:19:58,373 --> 00:20:00,044
maybe a start over was.

504
00:20:00,225 --> 00:20:02,615
And I finally knew who it would be with.

505
00:20:03,047 --> 00:20:05,206
But why was I telling the public at large?

506
00:20:05,431 --> 00:20:07,314
It should be private.

507
00:20:09,056 --> 00:20:19,180
Synced and corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com

508
00:20:19,445 --> 00:20:20,678
Next on Awkward...

509
00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:23,712
Spin the bottle, it was a
wreck of a rite of passage.

510
00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:25,577
The bottle didn't know what I wanted,

511
00:20:25,608 --> 00:20:26,772
but I did.

512
00:20:26,822 --> 00:20:30,370
Remember, all good things in my life,
are closely followed by something bad.

513
00:20:30,373 --> 00:20:33,119
The other shoe is poised
to drop at any moment.

514
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,952
Surprise!

515
00:20:34,953 --> 00:20:36,367
Ever heard of knock?!