1 00:00:04,809 --> 00:00:07,143 Previously on Awkward... 2 00:00:07,145 --> 00:00:08,544 My life was full of unexpected choices. 3 00:00:08,546 --> 00:00:10,980 We've decided not to let a girl come between us. 4 00:00:10,982 --> 00:00:13,549 So you need to choose, him or me. 5 00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:15,184 You should date each other. 6 00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:17,786 But someone had to win, someone had to lose, 7 00:00:17,788 --> 00:00:19,021 and I was still left to choose. 8 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,494 I used to think being in love 9 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,530 with two people at once only happened on reality shows, 10 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,465 where finding a soul mate was nudged along 11 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,101 by a dozen roses, a cheese-tastic host, 12 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,103 and a camera crew up your ass. 13 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:40,405 I never bought that bogus B.S.... 14 00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,374 until it happened to me. 15 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,511 I didn't have to choose between Matty or Jake, 16 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,879 but I wanted to. 17 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,480 When it came to life-altering decisions, 18 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:51,783 I resorted to my go-to method of problem solving... 19 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,552 blogging it out. 20 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,789 "Pick Matty." "Pick Jake." 21 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,558 "Matty is the only choice." 22 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,693 "Jake is awesometown." 23 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,195 Turns out, my readers were as confused as I was. 24 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,497 "Get over it." 25 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,033 "Pick a guy already." "Team Matty." 26 00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:11,436 "Team Jake. Team... Jonah? 27 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,505 "We have third period together. 28 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,574 I'm the one with the Jew 'fro." 29 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,875 Oh. 30 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,076 It was impossible to think 31 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,578 with the peanut gallery chiming in. 32 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,147 How could I possibly blog my way to an answer 33 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,482 if I couldn't write my truth? 34 00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,652 Unless... 35 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,787 I tried my hand at fiction. 36 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,189 It was the six month anniversary 37 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,592 of the first tryst in the utility closet, 38 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,226 and Jenna couldn't stop thinking about it. 39 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,595 Those ill-fitting camp shirts, 40 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,497 the filthy space, the cold, dank floor... 41 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:42,267 it was the most romantic three minutes of her life. 44 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,306 Jenna couldn't help but consider, 45 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,975 should she finally let him turn her 46 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,877 so they could spend eternity together? 47 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,311 Do you know what today is? 48 00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,646 Tuesday. 49 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:55,747 He didn't remember. 50 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,315 Jenna was crushed. 51 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,151 She didn't realize the undead could suck so hard. 52 00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:06,091 Happy anniversary. 53 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:09,861 He'll never be able to give you what you need. 54 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,296 But I can. 55 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,065 But she couldn't discount Jake, 56 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,633 who she occasionally referred to as Jacob. 57 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,168 Sexy in his own right and an amazing kisser, 58 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:20,205 Jenna could only imagine how their sex would be. 59 00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:23,475 She thought it would be hot. 60 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,945 For real, Jake's body temp hovered around 150. 61 00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,517 My brief foray into fiction 62 00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,987 lead me to one obvious conclusion... 63 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,055 I was a hack. 64 00:02:39,866 --> 00:02:42,000 So I wasn't all that great 65 00:02:42,002 --> 00:02:43,935 when left to my own devices. 66 00:02:43,937 --> 00:02:46,371 What I needed was a push in the right direction, 67 00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:48,006 or any direction. 68 00:02:48,008 --> 00:02:50,876 Because I was lost, in love. 69 00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:53,111 Whenever I lost my keys, which happened a lot, 70 00:02:53,113 --> 00:02:54,379 I retraced my steps. 71 00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:56,882 Maybe I needed to retrace my past 72 00:02:56,884 --> 00:02:59,284 to figure out my future. 73 00:02:59,286 --> 00:03:01,186 "If you had a do-over with Matty, 74 00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:02,487 how would you handle it?" 75 00:03:02,489 --> 00:03:05,623 A do-over... it was an interesting concept. 76 00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:08,960 And I knew exactly what I would do differently. 77 00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,101 I was afraid you weren't gonna show. 78 00:03:16,103 --> 00:03:19,270 - Wait, I'm not going in there. - Why not? 79 00:03:19,272 --> 00:03:20,939 Because if I do, we're gonna have sex. 80 00:03:20,941 --> 00:03:22,574 And I'll be totally into you, 81 00:03:22,576 --> 00:03:24,743 and you'll ignore me, and I'm not cool with that. 82 00:03:24,745 --> 00:03:26,444 So if you wanna get to know me, 83 00:03:26,446 --> 00:03:27,946 ask me out. 84 00:03:32,986 --> 00:03:35,520 Didn't you hear me yelling at you 85 00:03:35,522 --> 00:03:37,388 to come get your clothes when you came in? 86 00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:38,489 Yeah, I heard you. 87 00:03:38,491 --> 00:03:40,325 I just didn't feel like doing it. 88 00:03:40,327 --> 00:03:43,061 Watch your tone, young lady, 89 00:03:43,063 --> 00:03:45,496 or you can start doing your own laundry. 90 00:03:45,498 --> 00:03:47,699 This letter came for you. 91 00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:49,601 I'll take the clothes, but... 92 00:03:49,603 --> 00:03:52,570 you might wanna rethink that. 93 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,274 Guys, this is Jenna. 94 00:03:56,276 --> 00:03:57,675 Hey. 95 00:03:57,677 --> 00:03:59,277 Sit next to me. 96 00:03:59,279 --> 00:04:02,080 Jenna, you would look so pretty with a makeover. 97 00:04:02,082 --> 00:04:04,783 Oh, damn, is it "bring a freak to lunch" day? 98 00:04:04,785 --> 00:04:06,718 I totally forgot mine. 99 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,019 Back off, Sadie. 100 00:04:08,021 --> 00:04:10,255 Jenna and I are together now. 101 00:04:10,257 --> 00:04:11,990 We are? 102 00:04:11,992 --> 00:04:14,459 I hope so. 103 00:04:15,862 --> 00:04:18,163 Spoiler alert, you won't last the week. 104 00:04:18,165 --> 00:04:21,066 So forgive me if I don't commit your name to memory. 105 00:04:21,068 --> 00:04:22,567 You're welcome. 106 00:04:22,569 --> 00:04:24,002 Like a hungry coyote, 107 00:04:24,004 --> 00:04:25,603 Sadie preyed on the weak and wounded. 108 00:04:25,605 --> 00:04:27,038 If showed any fear at all, 109 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,241 she'd spend the rest of the year eating me alive. 110 00:04:29,243 --> 00:04:30,976 Well, I already know your name. 111 00:04:30,978 --> 00:04:33,044 It's Sadie Sucks-ton, right? 112 00:04:35,015 --> 00:04:38,549 Sorry. 113 00:04:38,551 --> 00:04:40,051 I'm not sorry. 114 00:04:40,053 --> 00:04:45,991 You are such a bitch. 115 00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,659 I like you. 116 00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:52,130 So, "J", are you hanging with us today, 117 00:04:52,132 --> 00:04:53,531 or are you eating at the V.I.P. table? 118 00:04:53,533 --> 00:04:54,900 It's been, like, a week. 119 00:04:54,902 --> 00:04:56,367 Well, I'd rather eat with you guys, 120 00:04:56,369 --> 00:04:57,869 but I don't wanna hurt Matty's feelings. 121 00:04:57,871 --> 00:04:59,370 - What about our feelings? - Come on, guys. 122 00:04:59,372 --> 00:05:01,339 It's not like I'm gonna be BFFs with Sadie 123 00:05:01,341 --> 00:05:03,541 and become popular overnight. 124 00:05:08,248 --> 00:05:10,381 Where'd you score the lactoids, Hamilton... 125 00:05:10,383 --> 00:05:12,450 sudden grown spurt or cutlets? 126 00:05:12,452 --> 00:05:14,652 - I got a boob job. - Overnight? 127 00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:16,188 I heal fast. 128 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,456 Do you think I should get implants? 129 00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:19,757 Maybe just a lift. 130 00:05:19,759 --> 00:05:21,793 And a nipple reduction. 131 00:05:21,795 --> 00:05:23,795 Hamilton, can we sidebar? 132 00:05:23,797 --> 00:05:25,663 Isn't it obvious? She's moved on. 133 00:05:25,665 --> 00:05:29,600 So feel free to resume your life on the D-list without her. 134 00:05:29,602 --> 00:05:31,803 You're welcome. 135 00:05:31,805 --> 00:05:33,004 Come on, Sadie. 136 00:05:33,006 --> 00:05:34,973 To join the mob, you proved your loyalty 137 00:05:34,975 --> 00:05:36,474 by making your first kill. 138 00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:39,610 To stay popular, I had to sacrifice my friendships. 139 00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:43,181 They're not D-listers... 140 00:05:43,183 --> 00:05:44,615 unless you grade on a curve 141 00:05:44,617 --> 00:05:46,417 the size of her shelf-butt. 142 00:05:48,322 --> 00:05:50,455 Sorry. I'm not sorry. 143 00:05:50,477 --> 00:05:53,378 And just like that, I was made. 144 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:56,514 Nice whore-drobe, skanksquatch. 145 00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:00,886 This is the first time you've come up 146 00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:02,754 on my radar, Miss Hamilton, 147 00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:04,155 and I hope it's the last. 148 00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:07,025 Yeah, me too. 149 00:06:07,027 --> 00:06:08,393 Why am I here? 150 00:06:08,395 --> 00:06:10,061 Because I didn't like mean girls 151 00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:11,429 when I was in high school, 152 00:06:11,431 --> 00:06:12,964 and I don't care for them now. 153 00:06:12,966 --> 00:06:14,299 If you're calling me a mean girl, 154 00:06:14,301 --> 00:06:15,666 you better have the proof to back it up. 155 00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:17,835 Because the way I see it, that's slander. 156 00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:19,670 Oh, no. No, no, no. 157 00:06:19,672 --> 00:06:20,972 I wasn't implying that. 158 00:06:20,974 --> 00:06:24,142 I meant that as a popular, 159 00:06:24,144 --> 00:06:26,844 envied student with good hair 160 00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:28,780 and a great set of bazooms, 161 00:06:28,782 --> 00:06:32,083 you have the opportunity to use your power for good. 162 00:06:32,085 --> 00:06:34,286 Okay, val, why don't I start with you? 163 00:06:34,288 --> 00:06:36,021 Unless you keep a lid on the crazy 164 00:06:36,023 --> 00:06:37,555 and stop dressing like a Walmart greeter, 165 00:06:37,557 --> 00:06:39,757 the only action you're ever gonna get 166 00:06:39,759 --> 00:06:41,326 is your annual visit to the gyno. 167 00:06:41,328 --> 00:06:43,428 Sorry. I'm not sorry. 168 00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,333 Whenever peeps bitched about high school 169 00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:51,002 being the most painful time of their lives, 170 00:06:51,004 --> 00:06:53,271 I always assumed they were losers. 171 00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:55,907 Because I was halfway through sophomore year 172 00:06:55,909 --> 00:06:57,242 and I was killing it. 173 00:06:57,244 --> 00:06:59,110 Every girl wanted to be me and 174 00:06:59,112 --> 00:07:01,812 every guy wanted to bone... except the gay ones, 175 00:07:01,814 --> 00:07:03,948 who still wanted to see my boobs. 176 00:07:03,950 --> 00:07:05,716 But even though my life was perfect, 177 00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:07,218 I couldn't help by wonder 178 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,187 why the hell was I wasting time 179 00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:11,089 recounting every little thing that happened to me 180 00:07:11,091 --> 00:07:12,990 on some lame blog? 181 00:07:12,992 --> 00:07:16,694 Blogging was stupid. 182 00:07:16,696 --> 00:07:18,263 Hey, pretty girl. 183 00:07:18,265 --> 00:07:20,698 I need your expert opinion. 184 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:24,202 What do you think of this for the Sotos' cocktail party? 185 00:07:24,204 --> 00:07:26,003 Add earrings. Hoops, not studs. 186 00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:27,272 Change the pumps. And you might wanna 187 00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:29,307 think about busting out the spanx. 188 00:07:29,309 --> 00:07:31,876 Oh. Thanks, honey. 189 00:07:31,878 --> 00:07:34,145 I would be a mess without you. 190 00:07:34,147 --> 00:07:37,515 Oh, and this letter came for you. 191 00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:38,749 Can you read it to me? 192 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,985 My nails are still wet. 193 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,355 Okay. 194 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,126 "Dear, Jenna, as you are now, 195 00:07:48,128 --> 00:07:52,163 you are... awesome! 196 00:07:52,165 --> 00:07:53,898 Words cannot express 197 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,167 how perfect you are in every way. 198 00:07:56,169 --> 00:07:59,237 You are a role model for girls the world over, 199 00:07:59,239 --> 00:08:01,839 because you are beautiful, skinny, 200 00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:03,741 cool and stylish. 201 00:08:03,743 --> 00:08:07,878 I would not change a single thing about you. 202 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,949 Love, mom." 203 00:08:18,591 --> 00:08:20,625 Thanks, Lace. 204 00:08:21,928 --> 00:08:24,362 You can go now. 205 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,565 Okay. 206 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,876 Wow. You look smokin'. 207 00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,044 I am smokin'. 208 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,748 I saw Tamara at the game and she asked about you. 209 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,216 You should really hang out with her sometime. 210 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,818 I can't. She's a dork. 211 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,487 And I don't have that luxury now. 212 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,154 As the most popular girl at Palos Hills, 213 00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:46,824 it's my job to worry about what everyone thinks. 214 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,360 And they think about me all the time. 215 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,128 Well, for whatever it's worth, 216 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,730 Tamara misses you. Shut up. 217 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,833 - No, really, she does. - No, really, shut up. 218 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,343 Mmm. 219 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:07,945 Oh, I can't be horizontal. 220 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,380 I just had a blowout. 221 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,849 Babe, I just got lasered! 222 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,417 Lay off the merch. 223 00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:15,686 I told you, they have to settle in. 224 00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,822 It's been three months. 225 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,789 So, are you thinking 226 00:09:24,791 --> 00:09:26,958 limo or town car for the dance? 227 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,392 I told you 20 times, 228 00:09:28,394 --> 00:09:30,461 I want a black on black stretch limo. 229 00:09:30,463 --> 00:09:31,929 Do I need to write it down, 230 00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:34,732 or is reading an issue? 231 00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,437 Don't get mad at me for saying this, 232 00:09:40,439 --> 00:09:41,672 but someone has to. 233 00:09:41,674 --> 00:09:43,641 Jenna Hamilton's a raging bitch. 234 00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:45,375 I know. But she hasn't always 235 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,644 been like that, man. 236 00:09:46,646 --> 00:09:49,279 She used to be really cool. 237 00:09:49,281 --> 00:09:53,017 She was the first girl who actually liked me for me... 238 00:09:53,019 --> 00:09:54,518 or so I thought. 239 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,088 So then why do you put up with her crap? 240 00:09:57,090 --> 00:09:59,624 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 241 00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,558 I'm sorry, Jenna, you're just... 242 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,961 you're not the same girl I met at camp. 243 00:10:03,963 --> 00:10:05,262 You changed. 244 00:10:05,264 --> 00:10:08,265 And to be honest, I'm kinda into someone else, 245 00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:10,901 someone off the grid and... 246 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:13,504 and normal and down to earth. 247 00:10:13,506 --> 00:10:15,940 You stupid moron. 248 00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:17,574 You can't break up with me. 249 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,110 I'm breaking up with you. 250 00:10:19,112 --> 00:10:21,712 And for the record, it's not me, it's you. 251 00:10:21,714 --> 00:10:23,648 I don't need you anyway. 252 00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,482 I could have anybody I want. 253 00:10:25,484 --> 00:10:28,119 I'm Jenna Hamilton! 254 00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:39,744 Since my due-over fantasy turned out 255 00:10:39,745 --> 00:10:40,977 to be more of a nightmare, 256 00:10:40,979 --> 00:10:43,614 I decided second-guessing myself 257 00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:45,048 wasn't the way to go. 258 00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:46,950 Maybe I had made the right decision 259 00:10:46,952 --> 00:10:48,686 to go into that closet with Matty. 260 00:10:48,688 --> 00:10:51,455 "Enough about Matty. I'm pro Jake. 261 00:10:51,457 --> 00:10:53,457 How did you tank that relationship?" 262 00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:55,258 Thought that was pretty obvious. 263 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:58,429 I should've told him the truth about Matty from the beginning. 264 00:10:58,431 --> 00:10:59,963 But I couldn't go back to the scene of the crime 265 00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:03,467 to right the wrong... or could I? 266 00:11:06,237 --> 00:11:07,571 Stop. 267 00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:08,772 Before you kiss me, you should know. 268 00:11:08,774 --> 00:11:10,006 That guy I've been upset about, 269 00:11:10,008 --> 00:11:11,575 it isn't you. It's Matty. 270 00:11:11,577 --> 00:11:12,843 I just had to lay it out there 271 00:11:12,845 --> 00:11:14,345 before you got further invested in me 272 00:11:14,347 --> 00:11:16,313 and I got invested in you because if I didn't, 273 00:11:16,315 --> 00:11:17,748 someone would've gotten hurt... 274 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,950 namely you, with a punch to the face. 275 00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:21,852 So if given the choice between you or Matty, 276 00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:24,154 which normally I would debate for months, 277 00:11:24,156 --> 00:11:25,522 I pick you. 278 00:11:25,524 --> 00:11:27,123 This is a lot to process. 279 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:29,426 Trust me, you'll be much happier with me 280 00:11:29,428 --> 00:11:30,661 than you'd ever be with Lissa. 281 00:11:30,663 --> 00:11:32,028 So I'll break it off with Matty, 282 00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:35,131 you get rid of Lissa, and we can be together. 283 00:11:38,169 --> 00:11:39,837 What I'm saying is, 284 00:11:39,839 --> 00:11:42,573 I don't think that either one of us has been happy. 285 00:11:42,575 --> 00:11:45,108 I feel like I need some space. 286 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:47,511 You're transferring to another school? 287 00:11:47,513 --> 00:11:49,346 No, Liss. 288 00:11:49,348 --> 00:11:53,384 I think that we should, you know... 289 00:11:53,386 --> 00:11:55,552 - break up. - But I really like you. 290 00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:57,388 Actions speak louder than words, 291 00:11:57,390 --> 00:12:00,791 which is why I'm gonna be dating your best friend. 292 00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,025 What? 293 00:12:02,027 --> 00:12:03,527 Yeah. 294 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,758 Should we be doing this in your room? 295 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,659 In my fantasy, my mom and dad 296 00:12:09,661 --> 00:12:11,194 were out of town... a lot. 297 00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:13,930 My parents are in... Aruba. 298 00:12:13,932 --> 00:12:16,099 It was a win-win for everybody. 299 00:12:16,101 --> 00:12:18,501 Cool. 300 00:12:18,503 --> 00:12:19,970 - Ahh, yeah. - Aah. 301 00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,872 - Ahh. - Wait, wait. 302 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:23,406 Ooh, don't move. 303 00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:24,707 Yeah. 304 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,646 Oh, my God. 305 00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,248 Oh, my God. 306 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,284 "T," the sex with mind-blowing. 307 00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:36,019 It wasn't just a physical experience. 308 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,621 It was emotional and spiritual. 309 00:12:38,623 --> 00:12:39,990 There was zero chemistry. 310 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,825 Sorry, man. That blows. 311 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,126 I don't mean to be weird, 312 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:45,061 but was there chemistry with you and Jenna 313 00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:46,897 - the first time? - Definitely. 314 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,531 So it is me. 315 00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:49,800 Damn it! 316 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,334 Maybe I should try it again. 317 00:12:51,336 --> 00:12:55,672 Hey, do you mind waiting in the car? 318 00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:12,088 I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion 319 00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:13,857 from our recent bone-a-thon, 320 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,292 but Jake was acting strange. 321 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,427 Maybe he was afraid I wasn't as into him 322 00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:18,929 as he was into me. 323 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,231 And there was only one way to set his mind at ease. 324 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,233 I love you. 325 00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:25,768 Awesome. 326 00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:33,076 Awesome? What was that? 327 00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,544 You need to back off. 328 00:13:34,546 --> 00:13:37,147 As in, put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. 329 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,982 You're gonna scare him away. 330 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,550 But I love him. 331 00:13:40,552 --> 00:13:41,818 That's the sex talking. 332 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,820 Yeah. You're in a sex trance. 333 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,655 No, I'm not. 334 00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:46,990 Am I? 335 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,291 You were so right. 336 00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:50,360 Jake's totally cooled it on that skitch. 337 00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:53,129 So instead of looking like an a-hole 338 00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:54,931 by punching Jenna in the face 339 00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,967 or putting bleach in her shampoo... 340 00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:58,835 I was just spit-balling. 341 00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,670 You're in the perfect position 342 00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:03,373 to swoop in and win him back. 343 00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,575 You're welcome. 344 00:14:05,577 --> 00:14:07,810 Now get in there... 345 00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:09,779 and act cool. 346 00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:11,514 Yeah. 347 00:14:11,736 --> 00:14:13,603 I just feel like she's suffocating me 348 00:14:13,605 --> 00:14:15,671 and I can't even talk to her about it. 349 00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:17,540 I'm sorry. Is this weird for you? 350 00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:19,909 No! I like hearing about you and Jenna, 351 00:14:19,911 --> 00:14:21,711 especially how she annoys you. 352 00:14:21,713 --> 00:14:24,247 Well, I probably shouldn't be saying this, 353 00:14:24,249 --> 00:14:26,782 but I think I made a mistake. 354 00:14:26,784 --> 00:14:27,950 I miss you, Liss. 355 00:14:27,952 --> 00:14:29,219 Yay! 356 00:14:29,221 --> 00:14:31,053 We're back together. 357 00:14:34,926 --> 00:14:36,392 Oh, yeah. 358 00:14:36,394 --> 00:14:38,528 Jake's about to pump and dump you. 359 00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:40,396 He's getting back together with dumb-o. 360 00:14:40,398 --> 00:14:42,098 No way. We're in love. 361 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,033 You're in love. He's in awesome. 362 00:14:47,204 --> 00:14:49,105 He is dumping me. 363 00:14:49,107 --> 00:14:50,306 What do I do? 364 00:14:50,308 --> 00:14:52,675 - You need a sexorcism. - No! Save face. 365 00:14:52,677 --> 00:14:54,877 Blindside him with a preemptive dump. 366 00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:57,079 But he's the one. 367 00:14:57,081 --> 00:15:00,150 Sex trance. 368 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:01,731 Ooh. 369 00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:04,667 I have received many a similar text. 370 00:15:04,669 --> 00:15:06,803 There is no doubt about it, you are toast. 371 00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:08,871 - So how do I keep him? - We have two options. 372 00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:11,307 One, you tattoo Jake's name on your arm 373 00:15:11,309 --> 00:15:13,242 where it's visible to the viewing public. 374 00:15:13,244 --> 00:15:15,311 Then you beg him to stay together. 375 00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:17,179 He'll say yes because he's a sucker. 376 00:15:17,181 --> 00:15:20,683 And then, never get it removed. 377 00:15:20,685 --> 00:15:22,952 Or we could do it the old-fashioned way. 378 00:15:22,954 --> 00:15:26,589 I'm pregnant. 379 00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:33,663 Looks like history's repeating itself. 380 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:35,264 Maybe you'll have a girl so you can 381 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:37,299 pass on the legacy of slutitude. 382 00:15:37,301 --> 00:15:39,068 Just because Jake and I are back together, 383 00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:41,404 doesn't mean I'm gonna help you raise your baby. 384 00:15:41,406 --> 00:15:43,740 Unless it's, like, really cute. 385 00:15:47,978 --> 00:15:49,579 This day sucks. 386 00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,313 Which is what you should've done 387 00:15:51,315 --> 00:15:53,282 so you wouldn't be in this position. 388 00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:55,317 My advice, give that rugrat up for adoption. 389 00:15:55,319 --> 00:15:56,686 Cute white babies go faster 390 00:15:56,688 --> 00:15:58,254 than singles at a titty bar. 391 00:15:58,256 --> 00:15:59,789 Guys, I'm still eating for one. 392 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:01,591 I just said that to hold on to Jake. 393 00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:03,058 You were trying to trap him? 394 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,795 You make it sound so horrible. 395 00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:08,664 Jenna, it is horrible. 396 00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:12,568 So you're not pregnant? 397 00:16:14,938 --> 00:16:16,238 Sorry. 398 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,707 I just didn't want to lose you. 399 00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:20,610 Even if you were, we could never be together. 400 00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,678 I would love that really cute baby, 401 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,481 but I would never love you. 402 00:16:31,755 --> 00:16:33,423 What are you guys doing here? 403 00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:34,657 Shouldn't you be in Aruba? 404 00:16:34,659 --> 00:16:36,526 We should be. 405 00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:38,260 Seems like we're there a lot these days. 406 00:16:38,262 --> 00:16:40,262 We came home as soon as we got the news. 407 00:16:40,264 --> 00:16:41,697 I'm not pregnant. 408 00:16:41,699 --> 00:16:44,199 It was a last-ditch effort to try an keep Jake. 409 00:16:44,201 --> 00:16:46,536 Oh, thank God. 410 00:16:47,972 --> 00:16:50,840 I am far too hot to be a grandma. 411 00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,909 I don't trust you anymore, Jenna, 412 00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:56,813 which is why I need you to pee on this stick. 413 00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,382 I can't believe you're making me do this, dad. 414 00:17:00,384 --> 00:17:02,251 I'm so not... 415 00:17:02,253 --> 00:17:04,386 pregnant? 416 00:17:06,356 --> 00:17:07,723 Switch places with me, mama bear. 417 00:17:07,725 --> 00:17:10,793 You don't need to see that. 418 00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:15,331 Dodged a bullet. 419 00:17:20,685 --> 00:17:21,810 Turns out, I couldn't trust 420 00:17:21,811 --> 00:17:24,046 my instincts or my blog, 421 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:26,282 which apparently was hijacked by an angry muse 422 00:17:26,284 --> 00:17:29,452 determined to send my do-overs off the rails. 423 00:17:29,454 --> 00:17:32,855 Or was gut subconsciously trying to protect me 424 00:17:32,857 --> 00:17:35,324 from a miserable future with both guys? 425 00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:38,220 Which meant there was a third party in the mix. 426 00:17:38,222 --> 00:17:42,391 I could pick Jake or Matty or no one. 427 00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:45,907 I still can't believe you blew off camp 428 00:17:45,909 --> 00:17:48,444 for summer school. It was so worth it. 429 00:17:48,446 --> 00:17:51,580 With the extra credits, I can graduate early. 430 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:03,592 Why would you wanna do that? 431 00:18:03,594 --> 00:18:06,495 Because nothing interesting ever happens in high school. 432 00:18:06,497 --> 00:18:08,964 Really, not even getting digitized 433 00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:11,900 by Ricky Schwartz in the back of the bus? 434 00:18:11,902 --> 00:18:15,404 You dirty little... you know what. 435 00:18:20,377 --> 00:18:21,910 If you had gone to camp, "J," 436 00:18:21,912 --> 00:18:23,612 maybe you'd be a woman of the world too. 437 00:18:23,614 --> 00:18:28,250 Matty McKibben worked at Camp Pookah this summer. 438 00:18:28,252 --> 00:18:31,520 Why does everyone always call that guy by his full name? 439 00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:34,256 Like Matty McKibben would ever notice me. 440 00:18:34,258 --> 00:18:35,891 Camp levels out the playing field. 441 00:18:35,893 --> 00:18:37,860 Imagine if you guys had hooked up, 442 00:18:37,862 --> 00:18:40,262 or had sex in a closet or something. 443 00:18:40,264 --> 00:18:41,530 Boy, this year would be different. 444 00:18:41,532 --> 00:18:44,366 Me and Matty McKibben? Yeah, right. 445 00:18:45,769 --> 00:18:48,637 Oh. Whoa. 446 00:18:48,639 --> 00:18:50,105 I'm sorry about that. 447 00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:52,107 That's okay. 448 00:18:52,109 --> 00:18:54,242 Missed one. 449 00:18:56,012 --> 00:18:57,780 Without so much as a flirtatious wink 450 00:18:57,782 --> 00:19:00,783 from Matty or a coy smile from Jake, 451 00:19:00,785 --> 00:19:02,684 the boys walked off with their girls, 452 00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:06,622 never even bothering to ask Jenna's name. 453 00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:21,403 Isn't it great that Matty and Jake 454 00:19:21,405 --> 00:19:24,540 finally came out of the closet? 455 00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:31,854 What I discovered during my journey into the world of fiction, 456 00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:34,800 one, there was no point in hoping for a do-over, 457 00:19:34,850 --> 00:19:37,247 because sometimes, they suck more than the reality, 458 00:19:37,265 --> 00:19:39,799 two, I did not want to write fiction, 459 00:19:39,974 --> 00:19:42,489 three, I couldn't write fiction, 460 00:19:42,609 --> 00:19:46,136 and four, I couldn't write the facts with an audience. 461 00:19:46,325 --> 00:19:48,783 So when it came to the boys, I had no regret. 462 00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:51,211 If I hadn't trusted my instincts, 463 00:19:51,268 --> 00:19:55,979 I would have missed out on some amazing, and incredibly painful experiences. 464 00:19:56,016 --> 00:19:58,682 Experiences that made me who I am. 465 00:19:58,726 --> 00:20:00,816 Who paved the way for who I'd be. 466 00:20:01,104 --> 00:20:03,950 Good, bad or ugly, I was going to go with my gut, 467 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,977 if a do-over wasn't an option 468 00:20:05,983 --> 00:20:07,654 maybe a start over was. 469 00:20:07,835 --> 00:20:10,225 And I finally knew who it would be with. 470 00:20:10,657 --> 00:20:12,816 But why was I telling the public at large? 471 00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:14,924 It should be private. 472 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:26,790 Synced and corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 473 00:20:27,055 --> 00:20:28,288 Next on Awkward... 474 00:20:28,313 --> 00:20:31,322 Spin the bottle, it was a wreck of a rite of passage. 475 00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:33,187 The bottle didn't know what I wanted, 476 00:20:33,218 --> 00:20:34,382 but I did. 477 00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:37,980 Remember, all good things in my life, are closely followed by something bad. 478 00:20:37,983 --> 00:20:40,729 The other shoe is poised to drop at any moment. 479 00:20:40,730 --> 00:20:42,562 Surprise! 480 00:20:42,563 --> 00:20:43,977 Ever heard of knock?!