.
(TURNS DIAL)
(DOG BARKS)
Right-o.
Here, hang on. You'll wake up half the street.
Check it out. Anything marked 'beta blocker'.
Psst!
272, get me 271. Over.
271, over.
'There's someone in there, all right.'
OK, assistance on its way.
271, control. They're coming out of the back.
(GRUNTS IN PAIN)
(TYRES SCREECH)
(GUNSHOT)
(SIRENS)
It's Harry Grieve.
Get an ambulance, quick.
Stand back! All right, all right, calm down. Sweeney.
DI Regan, Duty Squad.
Got a message from MP on the RT that there was one going off here.
Who's he?
A dead house-breaker of my acquaintance.
I see. Did you get the number, then?
Would you be able to tell us what's missing, madam?
No, only my husband could do that.
Ah, this is a friend of mine, Ulysses Brown.
This is a police inspector.
Good evening. Good evening.
And, erm...
he's not at home at the moment...
your husband? No.
Is he likely to return in the near future?
I'm not expecting him.
I'll see you soon.
I see. Do you know where we might find him?
No, erm... He's away on holiday but I don't know where.
Freddie has this need to escape when the pressure builds up.
Will you excuse me if I go and change?
Sure.
All right.
In here.
Hello, Governor. Hello, Jack. How's the squad?
It's all right. I hear you're all on borrowed time down there.
Ah, well, you don't wanna believe all you read, Governor.
How's Division? Driving me bleeding potty.
You handling the murder inquiry yourself?
Course, Jack. Your skipper told me you know the geezer who was topped.
Yeah, yeah, he was a good little screwsman in his day. Harry Grieve.
I thought he'd retired and had an off-licence.
Rum bit of business, ain't it?
He tells me it was like the OK Corral out there. Hmm!
Oh, it's her gaff, a Mrs Busby.
Busby? Professor Busby's missus?
No idea. Dad's away.
I think Othello's doing the business.
Ah, Mrs Busby, this is Detective Chief Superintendent Tridgwell.
Good evening. All very unfortunate, madam.
Was there much taken? Oh, I've no idea.
I think they just did the study, sir. I was just going to get a statement.
Ah, you do that, Mr Regan. Excuse me, madam.
After you, Mrs Busby.
Jack?
If it's all right by your governor,
I'd like to keep you and the boy on this for a bit.
You know, just to suss out the burglary end. Yeah, OK, guv.
Oh, governor?
Who is this Busby bloke?
You don't even read the papers, do you, Jack?
He's the geezer who's been making all this fuss about his research.
And you've no idea what they might have been after.
I simply can't imagine, Inspector.
Well, thanks anyway, but I'm a sergeant.
That's an inspector.
I just got promoted.
Look, can you give us any idea as to your husband's whereabouts?
No. I'm frightfully sorry.
You look puzzled, Superintendant.
Freddie and I, we have a very happy arrangement.
We don't invade each other's privacy.
Well, can you make a guess as to what the burglar
might have been after in the study?
No.
Something to do with your husband's work, perhaps?
Possibly, though I can't imagine what.
I know very little about my husband's work.
He knows very little about mine.
And what is that, Mrs Busby? I'm a psychiatrist.
I specialise in people who have problems with aggression.
Yes. I see.
And I can see that, inadvertently, I'm making you very cross with me.
I really am trying to be helpful, Sergeant,
but Freddie and I, we lead completely separate lives.
He's at the college during the term time, I'm at the clinic.
We occasionally meet up during the vacation.
It's very nice.
We still stimulate each other intellectually, but emotionally...
our only common interest is Wagner.
Yes, well, er... thank you, Mrs Busby.
If you don't mind, we'll have another look around.
It's getting rather late. Or should I say early?
Of course. Feel free to call again.
Oh, dear.
I'm not going to get too much out of Grieve's old woman, am I?
She's gonna be a bit cut up.
Yeah, but it's worth a try, George.
Yeah, all right.
Listen, I do hope you're not gonna be
a completely irresponsible superior officer
and creep back to your gaff for a kip.
Of course not. You can drop me back at the factory. Yeah, all right.
I did my ankle up last night. Yeah?
'Have you heard of this Busby geezer, George?'
'No, is he supposed to be important or something?'
'I'm about to find out, ain't I?'
Senior one's name is Regan. He's with the Flying Squad. Hmm.
I hope they're not going to start clodhopping around the waterhole.
It's sure to frighten the animals.
I'll be in town.
.
Ah, Jack. Oh, morning, guv.
DCS Tridgwell, E Division, called.
He wants you and Carter to assist him on this murder inquiry.
Yeah, Harry Grieve.
Wasn't he a cat burglar?
A bit of a country house bandit?
Yeah, that's right. It's all a bit of a mystery. Nothing was taken.
Well, how much can you do for him, then?
Well, I knew Harry. I nicked him a couple of times.
He was a neat little creeper. No harm in him, though.
I wonder why anyone should want to top him.
Well, my guess is he got mixed up with a firm of bloody lunatics.
Hmm. You got much on here, then?
Not a lot, guv.
Yeah, all right, well, give him a couple of days.
I'll tell Mr Haskins. If you don't get anywhere with it,
you can always chuck it back at Mr Tridgwell, all right?
Oh, I suppose if I was to ask you what you've got in there...
you'd say a film.
That's right.
Yes, all right. Well, make sure you keep Mr Haskins posted, then.
(PEOPLE SHOUT)
Can we have a comment, Professor?
Did you manage to see the Secretary of State? No, I didn't.
So there's no reprieve? The laboratory's got to shut down?
The grant will not be renewed, no.
Without that grant, of course, your work can't continue.
Well, in the absence of further funding, no, I'm afraid not.
What about current rumours that you may be taking your work to America
to get further funding there?
Oh, well, nothing's been decided. I'll have to think.
But you've stood out against the brain drain for a long time,
made many public pronouncements against it. Oh, yes, yes, I have.
Do you take this very personally...
Where's the governor? Don't know, George.
A geezer was on the trumpet, wanting him to ring him. Said it was urgent.
Oh, and B12 have been on about those dabs at Hampstead.
And? Got nothing for you.
C7 are doing a ballistics test on the bullet.
But it won't be ready till tomorrow.
Cheers.
What extension's 909?
You really wanna know?
Oh, no, not really (!) It's the funnies.
We used to use it when I was on the bomb squad.
Have you seen the governor? Yeah, about ten minutes ago.
He was wandering down the corridor with a tin of film in his hand.
Professor Busby enjoys the respect
of many of the most eminent members of the medical profession.
Some are now saying
he was on the point of announcing a new miracle drug.
A drug that could bring relief and an extended lease of life
to many thousands of sufferers from heart disease.
For four years, Frederick Busby has worked long and hard
with his team in this laboratory here behind me.
Next week, the shutters go up for good.
And the Department of Health is adamant
that it's a question of money, which has now run out.
Early clinical trials on Busby's drug have proved inconclusive
and therefore, the funds must now be diverted
to projects which are regarded as more promising.
This, in turn,
means that Busby will almost inevitably go to America.
It's a sad thought that it is the Americans who have more confidence
in British medical science than we seem to do ourselves.
Good night.
OK, thanks.
Do you think he's done a moonlight to America?
Probably. How did you get on?
Oh, nothing. Harry's old woman's in a terrible state.
But they've got a daughter who lives with them.
She's divorced or something.
She reckons that her dad was propositioned at a pub in Brighton.
She said that a geezer gave her old man 2,000 quid in used-oncers
and said there was another 3,000 when he screwed the gaff.
Any lead on the geezer? No, she never saw him.
Oh, and, er... we've blown out on the dabs at Busby's. (TUTS)
Gawd bless ya. That'll do me.
Ooh, nearly forgot. Memorise that and swallow it.
Who? The naughty men are after you.
Our only hope is that the sheikh does not recover.
If he does, the revolution will be put back years.
We must find those pills.
We now know they're not in Busby's house.
We know they're not in his laboratory.
Therefore, Busby must have them with him.
That is if he hasn't hidden them somewhere else.
But where has Busby hidden Busby?
You're probably not aware
that the absent professor is an avid birdwatcher.
Our London resident took the precaution of establishing a contact
at the Ornithological Institute.
We understand that he called them yesterday
to record the sighting of a wryneck woodpecker.
So this Busby's a madman. So what?
He claimed to have seen this bird in a forest.
A large plantation of trees in Sussex.
I will go there...
..with Ali and Doad.
And me.
That is the arrangement, comrade.
(DIALS NUMBER)
(PHONE RINGS)
Lakeside Club.
Who?
Oh, hello. Yeah, well, she's rehearsing at the moment.
I don't know whether I can...
All right. All right, keep your hair on. I'll go and see.
And when they get the umbrella, it's mine! Blackout!
Quick one, there. Cos with jokes like that,
it's a hell of a long walk. Yeah.
Excuse me, Mr Wise? There's a bloke on the phone for Miss Earle.
Says it's very urgent. Oh, I'm so sorry.
That's all right, Wendy. Off you go. Thanks, Ernie.
What was all that about? I don't know, urgent phone call.
Will they see the umbrella there? Yeah, that's fine.
They're not worried about that as long as this blackout is right.
Yeah, that's true. I'm ready. OK. Buy us a drink. All right.
The MP was drunk last night. I know he was. Crawling all over the place.
Wendy? Wendy, darling, it's Freddie.
Freddie?!
Look, I know this will come as a bit of surprise
but I must speak to you urgently.
What, now? Well, I had intended the circumstances
to be rather more appropriate but...
Well, I've got a bit of a problem.
Freddie, what is all this about?
Look, I can't explain now. Will you be at your flat tonight? 'Yes.'
Leave the key. I'll see you there.
(LINE GOES DEAD)
Nothing serious, I hope?
I don't really know, Sid.
Could you come with me, please?
This way, please.
Thank you for coming, gentlemen.
My name is Bellcourt, Inspector, Justin Bellcourt.
I work for the government.
Yeah. Well, this is Detective Sergeant Carter. Hello.
We seem to be developing a mutual interest
in a certain Frederick William Busby.
Yeah, well, his house was burgled last night. He's away.
Yes, I know.
Keep it out of sight.
What, er... makes you so sure
that the burglary was connected with the professor's work?
Well, the villains only went to the study.
It seemed like they were after something in particular.
Mmm.
They are.
Now, gentlemen, I think it's time I was completely frank with you
about a matter of the gravest national concern.
Professor Busby produced some prototype pills
in connection with his recent work on heart disease.
The trials were inconclusive. Now, that's not strictly true.
No, the pills had a remarkably favourable effect
on a certain head of state.
A head of state whose state of health
is of a consuming interest to Her Majesty's government.
Should the unfortunate gentleman succumb,
the regime which succeeds him will almost certainly be...
less well-disposed to the United Kingdom than heretofore.
So whoever screwed the gaff with old Harry Grieve was after the pills?
I'm sorry, I missed the first bit.
The burglars were after the professor's stock of pills.
Quite.
Somebody who wanted to get in
with this president, or whatever he is, and do us up.
Or prevent the sh... The head of state receiving the pills
and thus accelerate a change of government.
In either case, it's bad news for HMG.
That's why any ideas you people have
concerning the identity of the surviving burglars
could be of great help to us.
He's there.
Mr Regan?
Thank you. You interested in birds, then, Dr Busby?
Oh, no, no, no, Sergeant. Those are Freddie's.
He has these fads, you know. Last year, it was brass rubbings.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) Excuse me?
Ah, Inspector. More tea? Er... no, thanks.
Listen, do you know a Lance Gilchrist?
Who? Lance Gilchrist. It was sent to this address.
It's a brochure about self-drive motor caravans.
It's just one of those advertising things
they keep poking through the letterbox.
Yeah, I found it in the study. Really?
The application form's been completed.
Has your husband got any interest in that sort of thing? For holidays?
Well - It would be very useful for birdwatching, wouldn't it?
He didn't mention it, but then of course, he wouldn't.
He did have a pair of binoculars that he bought for birdwatching.
They'd be in his room. In the study, I take it? Yes.
Can I use your phone? Of course. Cheers.
(TWIGS CRACK)
(BIRDS' WINGS FLAP)
Back to the car.
(PHONE RINGS)
Regan.
Yeah?
I see. Where's that?
Yeah, well, don't worry, I'll buy a map (!)
Get Bill. Tell him to bring the car up.
Sussex HQ. A gamekeeper saw an orange and white caravanette
being chased by a Range Rover at Horsham.
Yeah, it's about two miles ahead, I think.
Hawkins, it would be very good for the Department's image
if we could get somewhere on time just once.
Yes, sir.
.
(INDISTINCT VOICE ON POLICE RADIO)
Oh, dear. I suppose it is inconceivable
that there could be two orange caravans
travelling on this stretch of road.
(SIREN)
They are clever, aren't they?
We've found out who he hired the caravan from.
Really? Yeah, it was a piece of cake. Wonder you didn't think of it.
He's not in it.
Did he jump or was he pushed?
I've no idea.
Someone was chasing him, evidently.
I wonder who that could have been.
Here it comes.
Scotland Yard, mate. We'd like a butcher's before you boys.
Dear, oh, dear.
(ITALIAN ACCENT) Bolognese or Milanese, eh?
Too much garlic.
Would he have had the pills with him?
Hard to tell.
Governor?
There was a bigger one of these in the study.
Busby's eccentricities manifest themselves in a variety of ways.
Governor?
What would you say these were?
Well, I'd say they were bullet holes.
Don't you think it's time you came clean with us, Mr Bellcourt?
We know Harry Grieve was killed
with bullets from a Czech army pistol of recent manufacture.
So whatever the professor's mixed up in,
it's very heavy and very political, right?
Right. Yes, we have reason to believe
that a Marxist revolutionary front,
backed by the Soviet bloc, is involved.
They are endeavouring to overthrow Sheikh Ahmed Hassal,
ruler of the Haftu emirate.
Is that the geezer with the dodgy strawberry?
So these Arab terrorists,
they've now got both the pills and the professor?
Probably. They're quite likely to have the sheikh
in two or three weeks as well.
That's the prognosis if he doesn't receive a further supply of pills.
Poor bugger. Well, he is 86.
The really unfortunate thing is that we were just about to sign
a £75m defence contract with them.
Would've been nice if he could have hung on a bit longer.
Still, there you are.
I think I've told you more than you needed to know.
Thought it might avoid unnecessary speculation.
I don't think there's any need
to keep you away from your normal police duties any longer.
Thank you. What about the professor?
If he's sensible, he'll play along with them.
With any luck, we should be able to negotiate his return.
If not, the Americans should be able to pull something out of the hat.
Well, that's all very well
but we've had one burglary, one murder and now this.
I think they're all going to remain unsolved crimes,
don't you, Inspector?
Goodbye, then. Sergeant.
Cheers. (ENGINE STARTS)
Another day, another dollar.
What do we do now, then?
Back to the factory?
No, George, I wanna go to Busby's.
I wanna collect a bit of evidence.
I'd like you to keep an eye on Inspector Regan for me, Nigel.
Very good, sir.
What happens if they won't see us? Course they will.
Even the stars like to keep on the right side of Old Bill.
Be embarrassing if they won't, though, won't it?
That's the only lead we've got left.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE FROM STAGE)
Good evening. We're police officers.
Wondered if we could have a quick word
with Mr Morecambe and Mr Wise when the show's finished.
Are they expecting you?
Well, no, but you can tell them it's just a routine inquiry.
I'm glad that one's over, I tell you.
Something wrong with the microphone. I'm sure they can't hear it.
What you think of it so far? 'Rubbish!'
(LAUGHS) You're not far off.
You know, they were a tough audience tonight.
They're entitled to be, it was full of foreigners.
Only four Englishmen and three of them were wearing kilts.
What happened to the other one?
I threw him out. Didn't have any clothes on at all.
Hey. What? Is that me looking back at me in there? I'm afraid so.
Hellfire, and they say showbusiness is easy.
Look at that face. I'm only 28.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Come in. Excuse me, boys. There are two plainclothes coppers here.
They're asking to see you for a few minutes.
It's about that book. It's not!
OK, tell them to hang on a couple of minutes
while we put our dressing gowns on. OK. Thanks a lot.
I wonder what they want. Eh? The police.
Be police concert, won't it?
(GROANS) Not another one! Yeah, well, you do one for them,
they think they've got you by the short and curlies.
I know what you mean. There'll be no money in it.
I know. I know what you mean exactly, it's, er...
(AS POLICEMAN) Do us a favour, boys. The super's a big fan of yours.
And it's all the booze you can drink.
Better get two more glasses because you know what they drink like.
Oh! Not for me, thank you, sir. I'm on duty.
Perhaps my colleague would like one. He's got a bit of a cold coming on.
And then again, if he's having one, I might as well have one.
I don't want to shock him.
Do you want soda or water? Just as it is, sir.
Don't want to ruin a good whisky.
That's the best you've worked for months. Have a lie down.
Thank you very much, thank you.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) Who's there? Police.
Police who? Police come in!
Hello. How are ya?
I'm Eric. Come in and lie down.
This is Ernie. He's with Interpol. How do you do?
I'm Detective Inspector Regan. Oh, yes?
This is my colleague...
Columbo, I've seen him. Gets a headache in the films.
Detective Sergeant Col - Carter. Ah.
We're from Scotland Yard. Oh, yes? Scotland Yard.
I won't take up any more of your time than is necessary.
You're leaving, are you? It's been a pleasure knowing you.
I'll get straight to the point.
Would you like a drink, boys? Not for me, thank you.
What about Columbo? I will, yeah. Cheers.
Scotch. Yes, I'll get the Scotch.
There we are.
Thanks. Do you want water or soda?
Nothing, thanks. Don't want to ruin a good whisky!
If he's having one, I might as well join him.
Oh, yes, you've got a bad cough, have you?
"And I don't want to shock him, you know?"
There you are. Cheers. There you are. Help yourself.
This is good, isn't it?
Quick as you can, there we are.
Don't worry. You'll be on in a minute.
Oh, I could get you on the side, if you like.
I'm with him.
Oh... lucky you.
Ciao!
Its Jean. She does a quick change...
HE does a quick change in here every night. Twice nightly.
Well, what about this concert?
I mean, we're pretty tied up these days.
What concert? The police concert you want us to do.
We're not here about a police concert, this is official.
Now, this photograph was autographed by you two.
Has it got any special significance for you?
Well, he knows her better than I do.
I don't. Yes, you do.
(I flaming don't.) (Yeah, you do.)
Are you talking about this lady? BOTH: Well, aren't you?
No. No, we're talking about this fella.
He had two of these pictures in his possession.
Have you ever seen him before? Of course.
Well, he's a fan. He's a fan of hers, you see. He's a fan. A fan?
Yeah, she asked us to sign a couple of photographs for him.
Yeah. But we didn't know who to sign it to
because she never told us his name.
His name's Busby. Oh. So you know him?
No, no, no. Wendy knows him. Yeah, cos he's her fella, you see?
I'm sorry, Wendy, but I couldn't explain on the phone.
The call came out of the blue. I mean, it's been weeks.
Yes, I know. I've been having rather a difficult time.
Listen, darling...
..how would you like to come and live with me in California?
What about your wife?
Well, Mark's up at Oxford now and this opportunity came up.
To tell you the truth, I don't think I can stand
her and her... friends a day longer.
Well, what do you say to sunny California?
Yes! Good!
Now, listen carefully. And give us a kiss.
These pills are the only ones of their kind in existence.
I've destroyed all the rest.
Now, I want you to keep them and bring them with you to America.
You see, I'm the only person who knows how to make this drug.
If anything were to happen to me,
you can still get hold of the formula
by expert chemical analysis of these pills.
I have arranged for you to be the sole beneficiary from the proceeds,
but, er... let's hope it doesn't come to that!
Fortunately, there are people who do believe in my work.
And if all goes well...
within a month, we'll be in America beginning a new life.
I'll drink to that! That's a good idea.
The boys gave me a bottle of champagne. What, Eric and Ernie?
Now, there's still one or two points I want to iron out.
I've got to fly to America from Paris on Friday
and when I've finalised my contract
with an American drug corporation, I'll send for you. Right.
I've got to fly from Paris because there are several people here
who are anxious that I don't reach America.
They'll almost certainly be watching London Airport.
I was pursued across Sussex this morning.
I'm jolly lucky to be alive.
But Freddie, who are they, these people who are after you?
I don't know. They tore my caravan apart today.
Someone also broke into my house, killing a man in the process.
They're after these, I'm sure of it.
But this is ridiculous, Freddie. You must go to the police.
Well, I think it might be the police or the MI5 who are after me.
But it was the British government
who stopped you working on the project in the first place.
They still may not want me to go to America.
Oh, I don't know. It could be the Russians.
Or someone else who don't want the Americans
to benefit from my research. I really have no idea.
All I do know is that I won't feel safe
until I'm in California. With you.
Take these. And look after them.
You're my insurance. All right.
But I'm coming to Paris with you.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Yes?
Miss Wendy Earle? My name's Regan. This is Sergeant Carter.
We're police officers.
It's nothing to worry about. We just want a little chat.
(DOOR OPENS)
Wouldn't it be a good idea if we came in?
Oh, all right.
Thank you.
Sit down. Thank you.
Miss Earle, Professor Busby, Frederick Busby. Yes?
Do you know him? I knew him.
But you knew him quite well, didn't you?
Can I ask what business it is of yours?
Well, as you may know from the papers,
Professor Busby's house has been burgled.
Now, until we can check the contents with the professor,
we won't know what's been stolen.
At the moment, we seem unable to trace him. Oh, I see.
And when did you 'see' him last?
It was last summer. September, I think. I can't really remember when.
But you were seeing rather a lot of him then, weren't you?
Look, you obviously know we had an affair.
Do you have to sit there, sneering like a dirty schoolboy?
Perhaps his crazy wife sent you.
We're not doing this for fun, you know, Miss Earle.
I'm sorry.
We're just doing our jobs, miss. Your private life's your own.
If you see or hear anything of him, give us a bell, will you?
.
Yeah.
Yes, that's right. Sea Boots, 3:20, Lingfield.
Just a little business of a highly classified nature.
What about Super Spy in the four o'clock at Chepstow?
No, no. Inconsistent. Might just be worth a pound each way. Yeah.
On to weightier matters, gentlemen. How is the lovely Miss Earle?
All right, if you like that sort of thing.
Yeah, the photographs were Busby's way
of keeping pictures of the girl about the place
without attracting attention from Mum.
So, we were one step ahead of you there, weren't we, Mr Bellcourt?
You still are. No. No, she hasn't seen him for weeks.
I think we should get a W.
A search warrant.
All right.
Give it a try tomorrow morning.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Good day, sir. We are undertaking a survey.
We think you can help us by answering a few questions.
Oi! What's the matter with you, then?
What's going on? I can't wait for you all night, you know?
Hurry up!
It's not the phantom rapist, you know? Just a cup of coffee.
I'm sorry, Henry. I was behind the door, you see?
Yeah, I believe you. Thanks, Henry.
(VOICES IN CORRIDOR)
Hello, darling. All right? Hello. Yeah.
Hello, Wendy, love. I'll take Charlie.
No, no, no, I can manage, really. Please! I'll take Charlie!
What was that all about? Don't know. You don't think it was...
Police business? Yeah.
She wouldn't thank us for interfering anyway.
We'll have a chat with her after the show. OK.
What am I knocking for? It's open!
They're not here.
You know, these pills... They can hardly affect
your golden future in the United States, Professor.
What do you want with them?
They stand between my country and revolutionary freedom.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Anyway, the remaining test capsules are at the laboratory.
I wonder if Miss Earle agrees with you there, Professor.
Shall we go and ask her?
You leave Miss Earle out of this.
I'm afraid we cannot afford to do that.
Nor, I fear, Professor... can you.
(RINGS BUZZER)
Good morning. I've seen you before, haven't I? We're police officers.
Oh, you were at that young girl's yesterday, weren't you?
Yes, that's quite correct, madam. Have you seen her go out recently?
No, but I saw him go out. It's disgusting, a young girl like that.
I wouldn't mind, but he's old enough to be her father.
Is that him? That's him, all right. Oh, he's a killer, all right.
Look how close together his eyes are.
I thought you just said he was a child molester.
When did he go out? About half an hour ago.
I suppose you wouldn't - Oh, I don't know what she gets up to.
There were two other men with him. They looked like Arabs.
I wouldn't let a daughter of mine
have anything to do with showbusiness. Thank you.
There's been men coming in and out of here all day long.
I'm going to write to Mrs Whitehouse about it. OK.
She's out.
I'm sorry, I beg your pardon?
I'm going to write to the landlord about this.
I don't believe she's an actress at all.
Excuse me, we're not looking for a woman.
I understood there was a Professor Busby staying there.
Oh, Professor, is it? He ought to know better.
Do you know where we can find him?
They've all gone. Policemen and all.
Policemen? What was the name of Regan's boss? Do you remember?
Yes, sir. Haskins.
May I use your telephone, madam?
It is literally a matter of life and death.
(SIREN)
Who says? The Prime Minister's office, Jack.
You ought to tell us where you're going.
They've got someone who needs an urgent meeting.
But governor! Look, Inspector, I don't care what you say,
I do not intend to spend the rest of my hitherto undistinguished career
incarcerated in the Tower of London.
All right, but listen, Frank. Get as many of the team as you can
down to the Lakeside Club, Frimley Green.
Tooled up.
You know something? (MUFFLED)
I can't tell which one's the dummy!
I've got the glasses on!
(INDISTINCT, SPEAKING AS DUMMY)
We had prepared to be quite ruthless, Professor.
I'm sorry, Wendy. No time for explanations.
Tell them where the pills are, darling.
Tell them!
They're in the ventriloquist's doll.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
You're not sure?
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Hey, they were a good audience tonight. Well, why not?
Charlie sends his love.
Don't do that to Charlie. What's he playing at? What's going on here?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
What's the matter? We must get the police, quick.
Well, what have they got against Charlie?
They've got the pills!
They haven't! I have.
(HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK)
(APPLAUSE)
Where did you put your car? Over there.
Come on!
Get lost!
The car!
Excuse me, ladies, we're police officers.
LADY: What's happening?
Listen, there is a level crossing about two miles up here.
If we don't stop 'em there, it's straight on to Basingstoke.
What the hell?! Come on!
They're gaining on us! We've got to stop them!
Quick, climb on the back and chuck the load off.
This boy's a fool!
Come on! After them!
What the devil?
Don't drive so fast, he'll fall off.
(SIRENS)
(HORN HONKS)
Over there. It's the only way!
I'm awfully sorry, sir. The road ahead is closed.
I'm awfully sorry, officer. The road ahead is closed.
After all this, Dr Busby, I think you'd perhaps agree with me
that it would be better if HMG took the responsibility
for looking after your pills.
Well, certainly. But if you want any more,
you'd better approach my new employer.
It's a slight matter of contractual obligation.
Get all this lot cleaned up, will you, Jack?
I'll see you two back at the office.
Sorry about him, fellas. But he's actually a great fan of yours.
Yes, it almost showed.
Must be a gift.
We'd better get back, George, sort this lot out.
Sorry about this. Anything we can do for you?
Well, er... what are you doing on the 25th of this month?
BOTH: A police concert?
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