Previously on "Felicity",
You and I can't talk about Ben.
And that's why I'm drawing the line.
How dare you draw a line?. Who are you to draw a line?.
Zack. Let's go slow.
We came back here last night, me and Zack.
He was pretty aggressive.
Julie, he didn't...?.
- I'm thinking of growing a goatee. - Yeah?.
Yeah. Like, right here.
Yeah, I know where a goatee goes.
- I need to talk to you. - You're not gonna draw another line?.
It's serious.
D'you mind?.
And ixnay on the oateegay, OK?.
Are you OK?.
Something pretty horrible's happened.
Are you gonna tell me?.
You can't tell anyone, OK?.
OK.
I mean, it's really serious.
Tell me. You're making me crazy.
It's Julie.
- OK. Julie what?. - And Zack.
- Julie and Zack. I need a verb... - He raped her.
- Is she OK?. - I don't know.
I mean, physically, yeah, I think she is.
But I don't know if she's gonna do anything about it.
Like, I know what she should do.
You're an RA. You know how to...
You're trained to deal with stuff like this.
95 % of all rape victims don't report their crime.
How do you know that?.
My RA handbook's full of statistics like that.
There's a section on how to deal with things like this.
I just... I can't remember the exact procedure.
Can I borrow that book?. I mean, I just don't know what I should do.
Yeah.
Dear Sally.
A few months ago I didn't even know Julie.
It's amazing how you can care about someone so much so quickly.
Yeah.
Hey. You ready?.
Who do you think'll play me in the TV movie?.
Sorry. It's just... going to the hospital seems so silly. I'm fine.
I know, but you gotta get checked out, you know?.
And if you want, I can come in with you for the exam.
No, that's OK.
Tell me what happened.
This guy and I were recording music for this movie that he's doing.
- Is he a student at your college?. - Yeah. Sorry. He's...
Friend, boyfriend?.
We've kissed a few times. That's it.
So after recording, we went to a bar for a couple of hours.
Were you both drinking alcohol?.
Well... Will I get in trouble if I say yes?.
No.
Yes. But mostly beers, and I wasn't passing out.
I just... was a little buzzed.
Anyway, so then we went back to the dorm,
and Zack lives on the tenth floor.
Zack's his name. So he walked me back to my room
and we went in my room and we started kissing on the bed.
Was he being forceful?.
Not yet. We were making out for about a half-hour or something.
And he took off his shirt and then he unbuttoned mine.
But my bra was still on. Do you want details like that?.
Yeah, please.
OK. After a while, he took off his pants,
and that's when I said that I didn't want to rush it.
And he said that that was OK,
he understood, and that he just wanted to feel me.
I was wearing a skirt.
I bet you hear stories like this all the time.
Unfortunately, it seems like it.
OK. What happened next?.
Then he took off my bra, and that's when I said I didn't wanna have sex.
- And you used those words?. - Yes. And that I wanted to wait.
And then what happened?.
Then he put his hands inside of my underwear, you know.
And then I said no and I moved his hand away.
And what did he do next?.
He was on top of me and he put his arms around under me
so it made it really kinda difficult for me to stop him.
And then I said no, like, five times, maybe more.
Anyway,...
.. and then all of a sudden, you know...
You were having sex.
Yeah, and he told me he loved me. I know guys say that all the time.
I don't wanna get melodramatic with this.
I did not scream, I didn't hit him,
and he wasn't violent, you know?.
He left this morning like nothing had even happened, nothing was wrong.
I mean, I don't even know if he would... I mean...
You wouldn't call this rape, right?.
Yeah. I would.
Did he use a condom?.
No.
Hey.
How'd it go?.
I have to take two pills now and two more tonight.
And it was a really good idea for you to bring those sheets.
Miss Emrick?. Officer Dennis, New York Police Department.
- Can I talk to you for a minute?. - Sure.
We can go back to your doctor's office.
I'd like your account of what happened.
- I just told her everything. - That was for medical records.
This is to file the police report.
Maybe you should talk to them.
Can I report this later if I want?.
Yes, ma'am.
OK, then maybe I will. Thanks. I just wanna go home.
Yeah, sure.
I just keep thinking, if I hadn't come to New York,
Julie and I would have never met and...
...she might not have told anyone at all,
- Are you Felicity?. - Yeah.
Sorry I'm late. My train was delayed. A moving truck stalled on the tracks.
I went to the snack car and had three packs of M&M's,
the king-size pack, so I'm a little wired.
That's why I'm late, so I'm really sorry.
What are you late for?.
I'm supposed to be staying with you.
- You're the prospective student. - Yeah, from Harrisburg.
- Did you forget about me?. - No, I signed up to house a...
- How long are you staying again?. - Three days.
Great.
Could you excuse me just for a minute?.
Listen, I signed us up to house a prospective student.
- You did what?. - She's right over there, so...
Things are a little hectic for me. Maybe you could show her around.
You invited someone to sleep in our room without asking me?.
- I am really sorry. - And now you want me to baby-sit?.
Sort of.
I'm not gonna be responsible for some impressionable high-school senior.
I'm a junior.
She can sleep in here.
If she touches my box, she's dead.
This prospective student is supposed to be staying with me,
but something serious happened and I need someone to let this girl stay.
- Can you do it?. - What's happened that's so serious?.
I have another favour to ask you.
Please be satisfied with the answer "I can't tell you"'
But I would never ask you if I didn't need to.
- No problem. - Really?.
- I've got you covered. - Thank you.
Excuse me. So are there any parties we can go to, or clubs?.
Have you guys been to Adrenaline?.
- Thank you. - I'm gonna have to kick your ass.
So, good luck.
I read in Allure that Ga-Ga's supposed to be really fun too.
I went to Julie's room the next day. She didn't wanna go out at all.
It took me 20 minutes to convince her to come to lunch.
This is one of my favourite parts about college:
the unlimited giant bins of sugar cereal.
You're trying to cheer me up.
- Is it working?. - A little bit.
Hey.
Hi.
What's going on?. I've been calling you.
Yeah, I've been busy.
OK.
- So, are you around later?. - Should be.
I want you to see the music you did. It really turned out great.
OK.
See ya.
What's wrong with me?.
Most victims of rape don't report the crime.
Five per cent. I read that.
And, even worse, most of those people don't seek counselling.
Right. Which is why we're here.
Our friend, who this happened to,
she's just kind of shutting off, you know.
Well, what I'm going to suggest is really common sense,
but you should listen to your friend,
believe her, make her feel as safe as you can.
- She keeps saying that she's fine. - She's not. She's got to get help.
What if our friend decides to report this?. What's the protocol for that?.
It depends who she wants to report it to.
Obviously, if she goes to the police, it's a criminal case.
Your friend should know that usually the DA
won't take acquaintance rape cases where drugs or alcohol were involved.
They're just too hard to prosecute.
Let's say she reports it to the university.
OK. She'd file a complaint,
write a detailed description of what happened,
then a dean of students would gather evidence:
hospital reports, police reports,
statements by anyone who has knowledge of the event.
That would include you.
Would our friend have to testify?.
The dean would meet the alleged rapist.
If he or she feels there's enough evidence to warrant investigation,
the case is passed to the student conduct committee.
There's a hearing. That's when your friend would testify.
It's not a pleasant experience, but doing nothing is worse.
Reporting is important but even more so
is that your friend talk to someone.
Being raped affects our sense of trust, and control.
Almost one third of rape victims contemplate suicide.
I'm supposed to bring this up in a conversation but here's the truth.
Don't get mad. I went to the university health services office,
you know, just to ask some questions.
- You didn't tell them my name?. - No.
I was curious what your options are.
The woman was really nice. Her name's Gina. She seems cool.
Anyway, she gave me these to give to you.
- Thank you. - So you should give her a call.
I would if I felt like I needed it.
I know, but you know how sometimes you get so close to something,
you can't tell what it is any more, like...
if you keep repeating a word, it sort of loses it's meaning.
I have to get to class, but maybe I'll call her later, alright?.
That's just what you told the police about reporting it.
- I will call you later. - OK.
When does that agent come to your class?.
- I don't know. Next week, I think. - Happy how the movie turned out?.
Yeah, it's good.
- Julie's music helped a lot. - Yeah. Julie.
- How's that working for you?. - I don't know.
What's the most you guys would pay for a disposable camera?.
- 20 bucks?. - What if you already have a camera?.
These vending machines are for prime locations:
maternity wards, restaurants...
Yeah, every time I go to a restaurant I really wish I had a camera.
You guys are laughing right now, but soon you'll be working for me.
And then I'll fire you.
He'll get it.
Disposable Cameras Incorporated.
Yeah, is Zack up there?. This is Darryl, his RA.
Yeah, come on up.
Zack, your RA is here.
What do you mean, here?. Downstairs?.
No, he's coming up.
- I'll be right back. - Alright.
- Hi. What's going on?. - Colin said you were here.
- You got a minute?. - Yeah. What's up?.
- What happened on Friday night?. - Excuse me.
Friday night. I heard something about you and a girl...
- What?. - Yeah. You wanna tell me?.
I went out with a girl on Friday night. What about it?.
Did you rape that girl?.
- What?. - Cos that's what I heard.
- That's impossible. Who said that?. - That's what I heard.
I came this far to threaten you in person, so listen carefully.
If that rumour's for real, I'm gonna make your life ugly,
because you deserve it and on my floor you are my responsibility.
If something threatens my job, it threatens my tuition,
and I'm not having that.
You got it?.
I didn't hear you say "Yes, Darryl"'
Yeah. I got it.
- Hey. - Hey.
I just had a pretty wild conversation with my RA.
- Yeah?. - He accused me of raping you.
So, what's that about?.
- I don't know. - You don't know?.
- Did you tell anyone that?. - I don't think so.
Well, think about it. That's a pretty hard thing to forget telling someone.
- I'm just really confused. - About what?.
- Is that what you think happened?. - I don't know.
- How could you not know?. - I just don't.
I like you. I mean... maybe it wasn't perfect but, God, it wasn't a crime.
I don't wanna talk about this.
No, wait a minute. You kissed me at the bar.
I know.
There were very heavy signals going on.
In your room, we were both having a good time.
Zack...
I didn't attack you, rip your clothes off.
- I need to go. - Wait a minute.
- You didn't report this, did you?. - No.
Are you going to?.
- I don't know. - I mean, are you thinking about it?.
I'm really confused.
Just know that if you do, I will probably be expelled, OK?.
Could you let go of my arm?.
I didn't rape you.
Hello?.
Yeah, this is Felicity.
Javier, hi.
Can I work tomorrow?. The thing is, I asked Laurie to cover my shift
because I have this big French exam
and I'm sort of going through some personal stuff...
Laurie's got mono?. When did she get mono?.
Who did you tell?.
- I only told Noel. - You told Noel?.
Javier, I gotta call you back. Yeah, I can work tomorrow.
OK, I thought that Noel would maybe understand
or know how to deal with this.
God! You don't have to deal with this. I do.
I know, but I was trying to help you out.
Giving me those pamphlets is not the magic answer.
You treat me in this condescending way
like I don't even realise what I'm going through.
You keep telling me how fine you are. You wouldn't believe you either.
You can't possibly understand who I am. We are totally different.
You tell me to do the right thing but you are talking a different language.
You haven't even slept with anyone.
I don't have to have had sex to understand you've been abused.
It was my fault, what happened with Zack. This is the message I give out.
Your talent is being a genius, mine is giving this message out.
- Listen to what you're saying. - I know what I'm saying, what I am.
I thought maybe going to college I could start over, but I was wrong,
so when you sit there and tell me to report what happened with Zack,
it's so easy for you to do this, it's like black and white.
This is not the first time this has happened. Is that a coincidence?.
- That doesn't mean it's your fault. - Would you give it up?.
I'm not gonna report it, I'm not gonna go to the crisis centre,
I am not you.
I'm not gonna sit here and watch you do nothing.
I am so pissed off that you told Noel.
I don't even know why I ever thought that you would understand.
Come in.
Did you tell Zack's RA about what happened?.
Did I tell Darryl?. Yes, I did.
- How could you do that?. - I'm a resident advisor.
Part of my job description is advising residents.
And if a guy living in this dorm raped someone and he does it again,
- and I knew about it... - Well, Darryl told Zack.
Zack freaked out at Julie and Julie thinks I betrayed her.
Which maybe I have. God!
- Is she gonna call that lady?. - No.
God, the worst part is that she thinks it's her fault.
The fact is, statistically, she's probably gonna end up doing nothing.
Which may drive you nuts, but I don't know if there's anything you can do.
- What is that?. - What?.
That thing.
This?. It's nothing.
You're not growing a goatee, are you?.
Not with that tone in your voice.
Story, if you don't stop turning those pages that loudly,
I'm gonna outlaw magazines in this room.
Sorry.
Elena.
There's this club called Foxtrot. It's on 17th Street.
It has six levels.
You wanna go?. They're open till four. My treat.
I took out $200 before I came. My parents would kill me.
It's my savings account.
Why do you even wanna go to college?.
Because. I wanna become a cytogeneticist
How else am I gonna become a cytogeneticist?.
- All you talk about our clubs. - I've never been to one.
I just keep reading about them.
Look, if I didn't have so much studying to do,
I would go out with you.
But I do have so much studying to do.
So could you quit talking about clubs, please?.
- It has six levels. - Forget it.
I'm turning out the light.
I brought my Itty-Bitty Book Light. Goodnight, Elena.
Hey.
Hi.
Is Julie coming?.
I don't know. I haven't talked to her.
- So what's going on with her?. - What do you mean?.
I heard some things this morning.
I tried calling her but she wasn't in her room.
Yeah, I don't know. You should ask her.
Felicity, what's going on?.
I heard...
I heard she was raped.
You should talk to her.
Does Zack know about this?. Should I talk to him?.
What?.
It wasn't Zack?.
- What happened with you and Julie?. - What?.
- T ell me what happened. - Nothing.
- Tell me what happened. - Nothing.
Explain to me exactly what happened.
You went out, went back to her place, then what?.
- Nothing. We had sex. - How'd that happen?.
- You know how that happens. - No, I don't know. Tell me.
We were hanging out, kissing, and she wanted to.
- Did you force her?. - Are you kidding me?.
- I heard a different story. - She wanted to.
You know what she's like.
We didn't sleep together. She didn't want to.
- She wanted to with me. - If you did this...
What are you, jealous?.
Stop it! Stop it!
You see, the difference is when you said stop...
I did.
Come in.
- OK. This is ridiculous. - What is?.
That kid, that 16-year-old club-obsessed punk.
- Is she driving you crazy?. - Do you know what she did at 2am?.
Do you really want me to guess?.
She got dressed to go out. And she put out an outfit for me.
She went through my clothes and selected an outfit for me.
Then she woke me up, face all made-up, sparkles everywhere,
and she says "Elena, come on. Take a risk. You only live once"'
I'm, like, "Go to bed, you 16-year-old freak"'
- It actually sounds kinda sweet. - It's not sweet. It's eerie!
She's afraid to go out by herself. She needs a buddy.
But the problem is, I'm not her buddy.
OK, What do you want me to do?.
I don't care. I'm relinquishing custody of the party animal.
She's all yours. I'm sending her back.
Thank you for taking her the last couple of days.
You don't even know how big you owe me.
- Who is it?. - It's Ben.
Can I come in for a minute?.
- Hey. - Hey.
- How you feelin'?. - Pretty good.
What happened to your hand?.
Nothing. It was stupid.
Hey.
I wanna tell you something but I didn't wanna preach to you.
I bet you been getting a lot of that lately.
- It's OK. - Yeah?.
OK.
Well, when I was at home, growing up, my father had this amazing ability
to always let me down at the exact most important moment.
I mean, it was incredible. Little times, like baseball games.
You know, he'd say he'd be there and so I'd try really hard.
But, of course, it would turn out that he never went. He forgot.
Birthday parties, track meets, my high-school graduation,
he didn't show up.
And it was other things too. He'd get angry sometimes.
I must be really dense, because it took me for ever
to realise he's a raging alcoholic.
He'd throw things and he'd hit things, and he'd hit us.
I tried to figure out what I was doing to make him that way.
What mistake was I making?. How did I somehow hurt him
to make him act that way?.
- Is this boring you to death?. - No.
OK.
Anyway, it's weird... living here, being away, you know?.
All of a sudden I have this distance from that madness,
and the one thing I can see now that I could never see before
is that it wasn't me.
It wasn't me.
I am not the reason he'd drink.
I'm not the reason he'd get mad and hurt me and hurt my mom.
It was him. It wasn't me. It was him.
I just wanted to tell you that.
- That is so impressive. - What is?.
- That you have two jobs. - A lot of people do. Hey, Noel!
- It must let you go out and party?. - Not really.
- She went and saw Gina. Julie did. - Yeah, I just saw her.
If it wasn't for you, she'd still be in her room.
- The girl I met at Dean & DeLuca?. - Yeah.
- This is Story, this is Noel. - Wanna go out tonight?.
I have plans.
- Gotta get rid of that. - I don't look more sophisticated?.
- True. - I like it.
- Story likes it. - It makes you look super sexy.
And I wouldn't just say that. You don't know me, but that's how I am.
"Summer brought sweets, but autumn wrought division"?.
I hate poetry. I mean, why don't they just say what they mean?.
How much does that taste like butter?.
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?. So much.
I literally can't believe it's not butter.
- You like the pump or the spray?. - The spray.
- The spread doesn't melt enough. - Rips up the bread.
- Did you ever try it on crackers?. - Yeah. How about cereal?.
- No, I haven't thought of that. - You'll thank me.
Takes breakfast up a notch.
Have you guys met before?.
- Did you like in my box?. - No. Why?.
Forget it.
- See ya. - Where you going?. You going out?.
- Yeah. Some new club. - Adrenaline?.
- Yeah. Is it any good?. - I don't know, but I'm dying to go.
Can I come?.
- If you feel like paying. - I was gonna offer.
- I'll be home late. - Home?.
- I'll do my eyes in the cab. - We're walking.
- My treat. - Taxi it is.
- Did that just happen?. - I gotta take a break.
- Where you going?. - Nowhere.
I'm going to talk to Zack. Because this is totally driving me crazy.
He has no idea what is going on
and I feel like he needs to know that I'm fighting this.
- Do you want us to come?. - No. I can do this by myself.
Yeah.
I wanted you to know that I reported what happened.
And that I'm gonna testify.
And I know you don't think what happened was rape, but it was.
Julie...
No, you didn't rip off my clothes, I understand that.
But it was still rape.
I know.
I'm going back... to Minnesota.
I called my parents and told them
that I met with the dean of the university and admitted to...
.. what happened.
I told them I was guilty.
Anyway, my dad wants me home, as you can imagine.
I was gonna leave you this.
It says all the obvious stuff.
How sorry I am. How...
.. horrible that night must have been for you.
How I wish things would have happened very differently.
I'm probably gonna be expelled.
That wasn't what I wanted.
I just... needed you to know what happened.
I know.
This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault.
I'd never done that before,
not, you know, force someone, but...
I'd never been with anyone.
As if that's any excuse.
Read that.
Maybe one day you won't hate me so much.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
Dear Felicity,
It's amazing how we blame ourselves,
You know, when John died, I was a wreck,
certain that somehow, cosmically, I'd caused that accident,
It's probably just human nature to try to make sense of things,
Random things,
The scary part is realising sometimes bad things just happen,
no reason, no purpose, they just occur,
and we're left to pick up the pieces,
I guess that's what we're all doing all the time,
just picking up the pieces the best we can,