Previously on "Felicity",
- I'm leaving today. - Today?.
Look, whatever we are, I love what we are.
We can figure it out in January.
- Do you still wanna share a cab?. - I'm not going back.
- I'll just see you when I get back. - OK. You have fun.
- Bye, - Bye.
Dear Sally. For the first two weeks being back in California was great.
I was happy to see my parents and they were happy to see me.
But then it happened.
I got this pang.
You know, this need to get back to New York.
Because that's where my life is.
I needed to go home, for a couple of reasons.
Actually, one in particular.
It's our room and it's not godforsaken.
- It's a fire hazard. - It's brown.
I keep my Christmas trees until February. It's good luck.
Not with me as your roommate.
- He's right. I'm tossing this tree. - Thank you.
That puts a hex on me and my family.
Fine.
No bad luck and no fire hazard. Go. Peace. Get out of here.
So that's what you look like.
So... hi.
- You have no idea how happy I am... - I think I do.
- You smell so good. - Maybe it's the pine.
Let me clear this up.
Wow! An iMac.
- noeLcrane. com hit the big time. - With my credit card.
But this thing is amazing. It's so fast.
There's something I have to say. I was gonna do so on the phone but...
- What is it?. - I did a lot of thinking.
You don't think we should start dating?. It'll ruin our relationship?.
Or you like me too much and don't want to jeopardise what we have
with physical intimacy?.
You can say any of that stuff to me.
I've been preparing for the last four weeks for a speech like that.
No. I've decided...
.. you and I should have sex.
OK, I know this seems out of the blue.
Like, all of a sudden, bam! I want to have sex.
But really it's something I've been thinking about for a long time,
Ever since I got to college, I've just felt disconnected,
Like I'm not a part of something,
And I'm pretty certain it's because all people I see,
they're doing it,
I mean, they're having sex,
It happened a thousand times,
I'd look at someone and think, "That girl, she has sex"'
"And so does she"'
"He has sex with her"'
"Those two definitely have sex, like, all the time"'
"All of these people are having sex and I'm not"'
Yes, I was really impressed with my parents
when I told them about Zack.
They just... They actually got it.
They didn't make me feel guilty or anything.
And my dad even hugged me, which I could not believe.
That's so great.
Yeah, I know. You had a good time too, right?.
Yeah.
Dad still clenches his teeth every time I talk about New York.
But... I was really looking forward to getting back.
Me too.
Hey.
Hey. Welcome back.
You too. How was Palo Alto?.
- I met your dad. - You did?.
I was getting a Christmas tree. He was talking to a friend of my dad's.
- He seemed nice. - He makes a good first impression.
- So, what did you end up doing?. - I went to Vermont.
Sean's buddy has a house outside of Stowe.
Yeah, it was pretty great.
- How are you doing?. - Great.
Good. I'll see you guys after class.
It's weird coming back, isn't it?. It's like we never left.
Yeah.
I wanna be clear about yesterday. Did I hear you correctly?.
Yeah, you heard me. Thanks.
So,... when were you thinking about...?.
Actually, it would be really great
before we did anything if... you got tested for HIV.
- Absolutely, yeah. - Not that I think you're positive.
No. We have to be safe.
I would offer to get tested myself except that I've never...
Say no more.
I don't know if you can tell, but I'm very enthusiastic about this, so...
I'm on top of it.
Whole milk or non-fat?.
- What's this for?. - For being so cute.
Alright, spit it out.
- What?. - Whatever you're afraid to tell me.
I'm not afraid to tell you anything. You gonna open it or what?.
- Wow. - Do you like it?.
Yeah, I love it.
I knew it. It's beautiful, isn't it?.
Yeah, it's so stretchy.
The minute I saw it, I thought, "That's so Elena"'
You were right. It's... so me.
Thank you.
- Can't wait for you to wear it. - Neither can I.
Well, I gotta go. I'm glad you like it.
OK.
What in the world...?.
Hey! Ben! How's it going?.
It's good. How are you?.
Great. I just went to the doctor.
Oh. Are you OK?.
Every indication says I'm fine. Thanks.
- Hey! - Hi.
We're having a party at Slater on Friday. Invite only.
OK. Thank you very much.
- Who was that?. - I don't know. Some sort of party.
Yesterday that would've really bugged me.
- What?. - That.
Pretty girl invites you to a party. I would have hated you.
But now... it's amusing. It doesn't affect me the same way.
Why?. What happened?.
Progress. Life moving ahead. Things changing. Stuff like that.
- I'll see you. - OK.
So I decided if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right,
You know what? I'm not going to be embarrassed,
There's no reason why I should feel embarrassed at all,
Excuse me, where are your sex books?.
They're right there.
Is this for a class?.
No, I'm buying them for me. Personal edification.
And what specifically were you looking for about sex?.
Specifically?.
Having it.
Yeah, I was looking at this one, actually.
Mars And Venus In The Bedroom,
Which sounded perfect but didn't have a lot of pictures.
And I'm a very visual person.
I get very confused when there aren't pictures when they explain things.
- Am I making you uncomfortable?. - You're just talking loudly.
I'm sorry, I didn't...
Do you know How Good It Feels?
No.
That's kind of the point.
- It's a book. - No, I don't have that one.
How about... this?.
Gimme An O,
Page 46 is really something.
That's all I'm going to say.
I'll take it.
- Hey. - Hi.
- What is this?. - That?.
Julie's toothbrush.
It breaks the no-live-in-girlfriend rule.
Julie's not my girlfriend.
Blue toothbrush says girlfriend.
She's had a rough time. I'm helping her out.
OK, I understand. She's like a real estate investment.
What?.
You know when you buy an inexpensive piece of land?.
You know you'll build on it when the value goes up.
But you take your time, play it safe,
make sure you got the capital, then you build.
You are crazy.
You're investing in the future, which I can do nothing but respect.
What you respect scares me.
- Hey! - Hi.
- Looking for this?. - No.
- You leaving?. - Yes, I am.
- Can I...?. - What?.
- Talk?. - Yeah.
Don't mind me. Just cos I own the place. Here.
- Thank you. - Enjoy that.
OK, listen.
After my counsellor, I think... I'm gonna go talk to Felicity.
Why?.
It felt awful, being in class and not saying anything.
Are you and I not supposed to hang out because it'll hurt Felicity?.
- No, that's not it. - Then what is it?.
I don't know. I just...
I want to be honest.
Then tell her.
I'm going to. It's just gonna be really hard.
Yeah.
Did I break it?.
No, I'm the one who dropped it.
So, it is broken?.
Well,... it's not working.
But... look at this.
A blood donor card.
The Red Cross only gives those out to people who are HIV negative.
I gave blood last month. I had zero contact with anybody
and I have a card.
Medically, I am officially safe-sex material.
Wow. So, when do you want to do this?.
Now?.
- I don't want to rush it. - No. OK.
How about tonight?.
Lecture.
- OK. Tomorrow?. - I got a lab tomorrow.
- OK. T omorrow?. - I got a lab tomorrow.
How about Wednesday?. I'm wide open.
I'm working.
Isn't there someone who can cover for you?.
Yeah. I'm sure I can. OK.
Noel. Sex.
Is eight o'clock OK?.
For sex?. Eight o'clock... Eight's good.
- See you then. - Wednesday, eight o'clock.
Great. And... if you need to reschedule, just let me know.
I can pretty much guarantee it won't be a problem.
Great.
Felicity Porter?.
Hi.
The Pill is 99 per cent effective when taken correctly,
which means one pill every day, at the same time each day.
You can start after your next period.
And I use it with condoms?.
Yes. The Pill takes a month to become effective.
Plus it doesn't protect against sexual diseases.
That's right. You should always use a condom.
What kind would you like?.
Latex, polyurethane, ribbed, lubricated, mint-flavoured?.
Mint?.
We'll go with the basic latex.
OK.
What is that?. I mean, I know what it's supposed to be...
It lets you practise your technique.
Lots of people get it wrong, but it's very simple.
Place the condom over the erect penis,
holding the tip to remove any air that might be there.
You roll said prophylactic down toward the base of the pubis.
You must do this a million times a day.
Well...
It's like when I worked at this ice-cream parlour.
I had to scoop ice cream all day.
At first, it was great
but my mom would say, "Do you want ice cream?. "
And cos I'd been staring at it all day I was completely sick of it.
Is it like that at all?.
No.
Would you like to try?.
No, that's OK.
Hey!
Hey.
- Why are you here?. - Why are you here?.
- I'm seeing my counsellor. You?. - Actually, it's about sex.
What about it?.
I'm gonna have it, with Noel.
I was just in there talking to the Health Services guy.
You and Noel?. Oh, my God. That's... That's great.
Yeah. You think so?.
Absolutely.
Because I felt weird talking to you about it, you know, after...
Just because I had a bad experience with Zack
doesn't mean you shouldn't have a great one,
or that we shouldn't talk about it.
OK.
- So this is a big deal. - I know!
It's about time.
I'm glad I told you. It feels terrible not telling you everything.
Yeah, it does. I'm late for my counsellor.
I have to go.
Should I say congratulations?.
Yeah, I guess.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
I've never done a sit-up in my life.
Except for when I thought I might score.
Which is really so pathetic.
Yeah, pathetic.
So, is this guy gonna, you know, be able to help me with my computer?.
Definitely.
Not only is he one of the greatest human beings that ever lived,
he is an official Apple repair guy.
It is a done deal, my friend.
Hey. Do you have a minute?.
Yeah, sure.
Your tree's dead.
It's not mine.
Here. So, what's up?.
It's about Ben and Felicity.
Please tell me you're joking.
No, not Ben and Felicity together.
It's me and Ben... and Felicity.
OK, yes or no?.
Ben and Felicity are together.
- No. - So, you and Ben are together?.
- Yes. - Good for you.
We're not together together, we're just... We're hanging out.
A lot.
What constitutes a lot?.
- Every night. - That's a lot.
Last semester, when the whole thing happened with Zack,
I couldn't sleep.
So one night I went over to his place.
And he was amazing. He talked to me until I fell asleep.
He made me feel... I don't know.
Safe.
I've been sleeping there ever since.
With Ben?.
Nothing happens. We just spend time together.
Right. So, what's the problem?.
I haven't told Felicity and I think that she'd...
.. feel it was some sort of betrayal.
She might not.
I have a pretty good reason to believe Felicity's moved past Ben.
I know that she has. She told me all about you two.
- She did?. - Yes. She's very excited.
Wow.
No, I'm just... I'm worried
that she'll be mad at me for not telling her that...
.. I'm sleeping in Ben's bed.
Or the two of us went to Vermont for a week over vacation.
- And nothing happened?. - We went snowshoeing.
If the only thing going on between you and Ben
is snowshoeing and sleep, why can't you tell Felicity?.
I don't know.
Can I offer a reason?.
Maybe it's because something is about to happen.
You're right.
I have to tell her.
OK, I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna tell her tonight.
No. Don't tell her tonight.
- Not tonight. - Right.
Yeah. Any time after Thursday would be good. Tell her Friday.
OK.
Really?. You and Noel?.
Yeah.
I'm asking you because you have experience.
You two should have been going at it long ago.
Well, I'm a slow starter.
Let me give you a tip.
Be the ball.
- What?. - Focus on the ball.
Which ball are we talking about?.
I saw it on a golf infomercial.
Take all your energy and concentration and focus it.
- On the ball?. - On him!
Treat it like any chemistry final.
Forget about food. Just focus like you've got blinders on.
Like a race horse.
Take control right away and keep it going.
Eye on the ball.
Eye on the ball?.
You and Blair must have an amazing sex life.
Speaking of which, what do you think of this?.
- What is it?. - You tell me. Blair gave it to me.
It looks like a... Like a really short skirt.
Are you sure it's not a top?.
- Why don't you ask him?. - I already told him I love it.
I can't say, "You know that thing I said I loved?. What is it?. "
- It'd crush him. - Never stopped you before.
What can I say?. I like the guy.
- So remember, eye on the ball. - Got it.
Sexy underwear never hurt.
Item number 7P108 in your catalogue.
The Patricia bra.
Yeah, I was just curious if you had that.
I haven't picked out a colour.
Which do you think?.
Because... someone else is going to be seeing it.
Black?.
You don't think black is too much?.
I think I'll look in your store. See what you have in stock.
Thanks.
I heard.
You heard what?.
- About your plan to bone the RA. - What?. Who told you that?.
The mail room guy. Everybody knows.
Gimme an O?
This was my favourite book in eighth grade.
Did you see page 46?.
Yeah.
I'm getting all nostalgic.
- Do you want sex advice?. - Not really.
OK.
Hang on.
Hey.
- Hey. - Can I come in?.
Yeah.
What are you doing?.
Nothing.
Can I get you anything?. Maybe a... bottle of water?.
- What?. - I fell on something sharp.
It's a hairbrush.
Here.
- Hold on! - What's wrong?.
I was just thinking that we should slow down.
Let me catch my breath, not feel like this is being televised.
- OK?. - Noel!
- Whoa! - Oh, my God!
- I thought you locked the door! - I didn't have chance.
Wow.
- Fire! - OK, wait!
Nobody panic.
It'll go out in a second. Wait!
Oh, my...
Wait! Nobody panic. We can do this.
No, your room is on fire.
- It'll be out in a second. - What is that?.
Wait!
I was a firefighter in high school.
Yeah, we can tell.
When the alarms go off, don't we have to evacuate?.
Yes.
Hey.
I can't look at you.
It wasn't that bad.
I was a freak. I mean, who was that person?.
You were a little aggressive.
And those people walking in and the tree and the fire.
I don't even want to think about it.
Alright, so it wasn't what we imagined, you know?. But...
I thought if I could barrel through it,
we would get it over with and then... I don't know.
Hey, Felicity?.
Look at me.
Look, it just needed to be a little more romantic, that's all.
Sex by a roaring fire isn't romantic enough for you?.
I got us a room at the Wooster.
The hotel?.
So that we could be alone.
Our reservations... are for tonight.
Tonight?.
Javier, I'm sorry but... I need tonight off.
No. This is the busiest day ever.
Thank God you are here. I am exhausted.
- Just this one night. - No.
I would not ask if it wasn't important.
Is this about a guy?.
What if it is?.
T ell him to come here and enjoy a double mocha.
Tell him to come here and enjoy a double mocha.
The thing is, that what we're doing...
We need to be alone.
You think it's a national holiday every time you get lucky?.
OK. This is a very unique situation.
For me.
Oh, my God. This is your first time?.
Javier...
I don't believe in premarital sex. But I'll take your shift.
- I want details later. - Thank you.
"I stop somewhere, waiting for you"'
Walt Whitman... rocks.
- I thought you hated poetry. - That's cos I never understand it.
But Walt here actually wrote some stuff I get.
Listen to this.
"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume, you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you"'
I love this.
It's pretty good, isn't it?.
I meant hanging out with you.
That's what I meant too.
My God, this room is amazing.
Wow.
I'm glad we're doing this. Thank you.
Thank you.
Let's have some champagne.
A minibar.
- You're not opening that?. - Totally.
OK, but there's no more expensive food than minibar food.
When I'm with my parents, they never let me eat from it.
T onight it is on me. What do you want?.
I'll have a Coke.
What should we toast?.
How about to better luck the second time?.
This is gonna be good.
Sure you don't want to come to the loft?.
- Sean's not there. - He hates me.
No, he doesn't hate you. He found your toothbrush.
In Sean's world, toothbrush means live-in girlfriend.
- He has this rule... - About no live-in girlfriends.
Yeah. But I told him what was up.
I still think I'm gonna stay here tonight.
OK.
Thanks.
- For everything. - Alright.
Goodnight.
- Call you tomorrow. - OK. Bye.
- Hello?. - It's me,
- Hey. - Hey,
You're never going to guess where I am. Listen.
Is that a toilet flush?.
I'm using the phone in the suite that Noel and I got at the Wooster.
- Really?. - Yeah,
- Here, I'll do it again. - No, it's OK.
So...
This is it. I mean...
I think that Noel and I are really gonna do this.
Great.
What?. You sound weird.
Is something wrong?.
No. Nothing.
What?.
Nothing. It's stupid.
This is your big night. You have a great time.
I'm having a great time. So tell me.
There is nothing to tell you. Go and have fun.
- I'll call you tomorrow, - Yeah, OK. Bye.
Bye.
- That is a pretty great bathroom. - Yeah. It's a pretty great bed.
You know what?. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to... focus.
I just need to focus.
I called Julie.
From the bathroom?.
Yeah, there's a... There's a phone right by the toilet.
That's impressive.
She sounded upset.
She didn't say why?.
No. It just seemed like... I don't know.
Something seemed wrong.
- No, I don't think so. - You don't?.
No, I think she's gonna be fine.
Did you talk to her or something?.
What?. What's going on.
She's with Ben.
What do you mean?.
Julie and Ben, they've been... hanging out.
Hanging out?.
Yeah, that's what she called it. They spend time together.
How much time?.
I think... I think she said every night.
When did you talk to her?.
Yesterday.
So, you knew Julie and Ben were having an affair and didn't tell me?.
It's not... It's not an affair.
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
Why should it matter?.
It matters. I don't know.
Because they didn't tell you
or because... you're still obsessed with Ben?.
Because I had a big talk with her yesterday.
I told her all about us and how much I valued her friendship.
You know what she said?. Nothing.
Because she knows the truth.
Noel... OK.
If I am, as you say, obsessed with Ben,
why am I here with you?.
I don't know.
What are you doing?.
Where are you going?.
I don't want to be the rehearsal.
- You're not the rehearsal. - Do you know how I know I am?.
When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, your face will drop.
Ben and Julie went to Vermont.
Goodnight, Felicity.
Hey. It's Julie.
- Sorry I didn't call. - You don't have to.
- There's my T-shirt. - You have a bunch of stuff here.
- I do?. - Yes.
- How many quarters do I owe you?. - It's on Sean.
But don't tell him that.
Last night, in my room,...
.. I really wanted to kiss you.
Yeah.
And you wanted to kiss me back.
Yes, I did.
Yes.
So, what do we do?.
When I talk to my counsellor about you and me,...
.. I say I don't want to feel like this person
that when something bad happens runs into some guy's bed.
Yeah.
And what did she say?.
She says that... you're not some guy.
And that I should... do what feels right.
And I tell her that what would feel right...
.. would be... to go slowly with you.
Yeah, slow is good.
Are you sure?.
Yeah.
Everybody hurts
Sometimes
So hold on
Noel?.
What are you doing?.
What does it look like?.
You're the resident advisor and I need you to advise.
Does this look alright?.
OK. I came by to get some help, but clearly you need it more than I do.
What I need is a dark room, with depressing music playing.
Everybody hurts
If you want my opinion,
you're obsessed with the idea that she's obsessed.
Felicity told me what happened.
Super.
- Makes it easier, doesn't it?. - What?.
T elling yourself she'd rather be with Ben
so you don't have to have a relationship.
You can fixate on them instead of the two of you.
Just so you know, you're really beginning to get on my nerves.
Fine. I will leave you to wallow in your self-pity.
I'm not wallowing.
OK. Alright. Fine. So maybe I'm wallowing.
But a good wallow never hurt anybody.
Maybe.
But it's really unattractive.
And, in this case, totally unnecessary.
Thank you.
No problem.
Now, honestly,... what do you think of this skirt?.
It's not a skirt.
It's not?.
It's for your hair.
I'm wearing a headband as a skirt?.
Why didn't you just ask what it was?.
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Now I'm in the cafeteria with a headband around my ass.
Excuse me.
You know, not many people could pull that off.
So Noel told me.
I'm sorry.
I know I should have been the one to tell you. I just...
I thought you would...
Freak out?.
Well, I... I mean, I'm not going to.
I've been holding on to this... this stupid crush for so long
that... I think I was scared to let go of it.
You know, like, if I did...
If I admitted that Ben and I were never going to get together,...
.. it would put everything into question.
Like,... without that possibility, I had nothing.
That is so not true.
No, of course it isn't. I mean, I have... I have tons.
It's just time to start enjoying some of it.
Liking someone's supposed to make your life better.
Yeah.
Hi.
Hey.
We were just...
Talking about you behind your back.
How badly did I do?.
- Sit here. Julie will fill you in. - What?.
No, I'll go sit over there.
No, there's something I have to go do. Really.
- Take notes for me. - OK.
Noel?.
Good, you're here.
I've been thinking about this.
My plan was to come to you and apologise for walking out.
But I realised this is a big deal.
We do this and everything changes.
So it's got to be for the right reasons.
Which are that this is something you want to do with me,
not just because everyone else is doing it.
If we cross that bridge now it'd be a mistake.
Not that it wouldn't be great, you know, during.
But... afterwards.
- You're right. - I am?.
Yeah. I mean, I just...
I just wanted to get sex over with
so I could feel I was part of the human race.
And that's just... stupid.
- I can't believe I just did that. - What?.
I just talked myself out of having sex. Am I insane?.
- No, you're right. - No!
Can't we just have sex?.
Noel.
Right, so you're saying no.
I'm saying no.
To me or sex?.
Not to you.
I... wanna be with you.
Good. That's good.
I think it is.
And I understand about Ben.
He was kind of a bad habit and those are difficult to get rid of.
My feeling is, that after a little while with me, it'll be a cinch.
- What?. - Nothing.
Just... you're my first boyfriend.
Dear Felicity, I can't stop thinking about your last tape,
and how you must be feeling,
All that anticipation and uncertainty,
All that wondering what it's going to be like,
My first time, I was a freshman at Brown,
I met this guy at a party,
I'm not sorry about that night,
It's just I now know something I didn't know then,
That our best decisions,
the ones that we never regret,
come from listening to ourselves,
Which is exactly what you've done,
And why, no matter what you decide, you should feel very proud,