Previously on "Felicity",
- You don't want me to go?. - No, you should come.
I should or you want me to?. Maybe taking a break is a good idea.
I never mentioned breaking up.
It's tricky, not using those exact words.
If I go, I can't do the Berlin internship.
I've realised I have to go to Berlin.
So you will... come with me?.
- Do you think I should?. - Yeah.
Dear Sally, OK, so I've been thinking about it,
that moment I had with Ben,
And I've come to the conclusion that, obviously, it was all in my mind,
Or, at least, mostly,
- I'm sorry. - What?.
You're staring. We're busy and you're staring.
- You should be stacking. - Sorry.
It's just part of my job to tell you, because I am the assistant manager.
I know. You're right.
I'm not doing a great job, am I?.
I mean, good, but not great.
Danny, you're doing an excellent job.
OK. You are the sweetest.
I hope you do come back here to work next year.
Me, too.
I mean, it seemed like Ben and I had an almost-kiss moment,
like Meghan's stupid love spell had actually worked,
but what it was, I'm sure, was just a nothing moment
that I perceived as something else,
Anyway, whatever it was, it's had the strangest effect,
It reminded me of why I decided to come to New York in the first place,
of what it felt like in high school, of what I used to feel for Ben,
But it was nothing, which is a good thing,
because if it had been an actual, genuine almost-kiss moment,
life would get really complicated,
OK, what the hell was that?.
- What?. - Did you and I almost kiss?.
- I don't know. Did we?. - I think we did.
I'm sorry, Ben. Laurie needs to see you in the stockroom. I'm sorry.
- That's OK. - I really like your haircut.
- Thanks, Danny. - Yeah.
- This could get really complicated. - Yeah.
Sally, is it just me, or did this year go by faster than ever?.
I mean, it actually seems like time is speeding up.
Lately I've been getting up earlier every day, I don't know why,
I guess it's the excitement of the end of the year or something,
I've only got a few days left,
I started to pack up my stuff,
Anyway, in my closet, I found this thing on the wall,
It's a list of all the people who lived in this room before me,
It went back to 1968,
Randall Clark, Melissa Stone, Keith Bradshaw, Patty Tagliabue,
I mean, these names, these people I've never heard of,
And I just started wondering, you know,
I wondered where they are today, you know,
how much they remember of their freshman year.
I wondered if they're all still alive.
Breaking up sucks.
Yeah.
Are you still coming to Epstein Bar on Saturday?.
Definitely, yeah.
Good. Thank you.
By the way, you know, I'm thinking, maybe I shouldn't even go with Ben.
Why?. Don't not go on account of me.
Actually, you can't not go, because I was gonna ask you a favour.
What?.
Guys don't say "I need to be alone" unless they have another prospect.
So, when you're on the trip with Ben,
if he gives you any signs that there's someone else, let me know.
OK.
- I found it. - Good. Thanks.
I couldn't find your computer disk, though. I looked everywhere.
I know it's here somewhere.
I'd stay and look for it, but it's my last ethics class.
Right. You can come back whenever you want.
Here.
Why don't you just keep 'em?. You know you're coming back.
OK.
- So are you living here next year?. - Yeah.
Sean's got some new guy coming in for the summer, then I'm coming back.
So, I guess I might not see you before you go.
Yeah.
- I'll call you, OK?. - OK.
You know what?. Don't call me.
And I don't mean that in a bitchy way. I just...
I don't really feel like looking forward to a phone call
as awkward as this.
OK.
- Have a good summer. - Yeah, you too.
Morning.
- Come with me. - What?.
I was in bed last night, alone, which is weird.
and I had this epiphany. Why don't you come with me?.
To Berlin?. I have that job with Dr Kessler.
Just for two weeks. The time you're supposed to drive with Ben.
I already ordered you a ticket.
My God! Noel!
It's a huge deal taking a trip like this on your own, let alone with me,
but I've thought this through and it's a genius move.
You can't afford to buy me a ticket.
You so underestimate my financial acumen.
It's refundable,
so, on the off chance that you say no, nobody gets hurt.
- I can't believe you. - Don't say yes now.
- Think about it and say yes later. - OK.
OK, you'll go or OK, you'll think about it?.
- OK, I'll think about it. - OK.
Which I really didn't have to do.
Who would say no to a trip to Europe with a guy you love?.
So, I decided to confront this Ben thing head on.
I'm heading over there right now,
Wish me luck,
- I can't go. - You can't go with me?.
- No. - Why?.
- Yeah.
There are a million reasons why.
I can think of no less than three reasons why.
Well, I'd like to hear those reasons.
OK, first of all, there is the Noel factor.
- What, you think he'd get jealous?. - No.
He's far too mature for that. He invited me to Berlin.
- Berlin?. Really?. - Really.
Secondly, there is the Julie factor, which is sort of killing me.
I know the Julie factor.
You know how Nicole made you uncomfortable around Lynn,
- cos she was like... - I know.
You're doing the same with me and Julie.
- I feel bad hanging out with her. - But Lynn and Nicole were dating.
- You and Julie just broke up. - Yeah, we broke up.
What's the third?.
- We... both know what the third is. - Tell me. What's the third?.
The moment. The almost-kiss. Don't pretend you don't know.
OK. How is that a reason for us not to drive cross country?.
Because...
Because?. That's your reason?. Because?.
Look, I don't know. The Noel thing, you know...
Berlin sounds great. Maybe you should go with him.
The Julie factor,...
.. I don't really know what to say about that.
And the third thing is only an issue because we did not kiss,
so it's like this big, unanswered question.
Yeah, I think you're exactly right.
I've wanted to do that for a long time.
- Where are you going?. - I don't know. It's a flight reflex.
Felicity.
Hi. What are you doing?.
I was just working on the hard sell.
What does that mean?.
Just a little Berlin slide show
to give you an idea of what you'd be missing in case you say no.
Yes.
Yes?.
- Yeah. Yes. - Yes.
And thank you for asking.
Do you realise how amazing this is going to be?.
I know. I haven't told my parents yet, but I'm sure they'll be fine.
Really?.
They're gonna have a huge problem with it.
- Yeah, OK. - That'll be their initial reaction.
Don't worry about my parents. We're going.
We're going. My God!
- This is so good. - I know.
- Ben kissed you?. - Would you keep your voice down!
- And you wanna go with Noel?. - You don't think that's right?.
No. Neither do you. Go with Ben.
If Julie were here, I'd say the same thing.
Good morning.
For the last time.
Look what I've got.
- Damn it. - What?.
- I messed up on this final. - You always say that.
- No, this time, I mean it. - Did McGrath say something?.
Miss Porter.
- Miss Tyler. - I'm sure you did great.
See, you did better than I did.
Elena's obviously wrong. I couldn't even consider going with Ben, right?.
So...
This is it.
Yeah.
Have a good time... at Wicca Camp.
Thanks.
See you.
Second week of school, I wrote something down,
I put it in an envelope and sealed it shut.
"There's no chance in hell
Felicity's going to make it through the whole year"'
It's what I thought. I was gonna give it to you when you left,
as an "I told you so", but you made it.
Anyway, I'm impressed.
Thanks.
Where are you living next year?.
Somewhere in the dorm. I... think I might be an RA.
Me, too.
See you.
Come in.
Hi.
- So you've been avoiding me?. - Yeah.
Well, I got your message, but I gotta say I don't agree with it.
I really want you to come with me.
- I think that's really kind, but... - It's not kind. It's what I want.
I understand what you're saying about Noel and Julie,
but I have this feeling it's what you want, too.
I'm going with Noel. We have this whole plan.
So did we until you changed your mind.
I can't go with you because that would make me the devil.
- The devil?. - Yes.
Because it would be a direct affront to both Julie and to Noel.
You and I both know that if we were to drive across country...
I mean, it would never be platonic.
So?.
- Ben! - Fine. We'll make it platonic.
I don't care. I just wanna go with you. We'll do it as friends.
That's great. I swear to God.
I just don't see how this could work.
- Come here. - What?.
- Just come and sit down. - Why?.
Come on. I'm not gonna do anything.
Just come and sit down.
OK. We are in the car.
- This is stupid. - It's not stupid.
I'm just trying to prove a point here, OK?.
OK, I'm driving.
I'm sorry. Did you wanna drive?.
- No, you go ahead and drive. - OK, I'm driving.
This is a smooth ride, wouldn't you say?. Yeah.
What happens when we go to a motel and there's only one bed?.
- One bed?. - Yeah.
Lie down.
- Come on. - Just try.
- See?. - OK, this could never work.
- What?. - I think you should leave.
Look, I know you wanna go, or at least you're thinking about me a bit.
How do you know that?.
Because you started wearing that necklace again, the one I got you.
- OK. Let's go. - Why?.
Come on.
- You should think about it. - I've thought it through, thanks.
- Could you hold that, please?. - Hi.
- How's it going?. - Good.
Just dropping off my last RA report.
- Have you got a passport yet?. - Not yet.
- We only have a few days. - I'm gonna go tomorrow.
OK, good. We're... going to Berlin.
- Yeah, that's what Felicity says. - Yeah.
- Where are you going? - Berlin,
- Berlin? Nice, Really nice, - Have you been there?
No, but people tell me, Do you speak German?
- No, - No, you don't need it,
OK, look right here, where my finger is.
This finger. It'll just be a second.
- Have you driven across the country?. - The United States?. Yeah, once.
How was it?.
It was one of the best times I've ever had.
- Really?. - Yeah, maybe the best. It was great.
You've gotta do that. You don't even need a passport. You just go.
It's such a romantic thing, driving cross country.
OK. Ready?.
- Have a nice trip. - Thanks.
Wherever you go.
I know who Ben likes.
Did he talk to you?.
No, Lynn did, and he told me about Nicole.
- Nicole?. - It's so obvious.
They were swimming together, always hanging out. Of course it was her.
- So you think that Ben likes Nicole?. - Yeah.
I guess she was making moves on him and that's why Lynn and her broke up.
- Can you believe that?. - God.
Did you know about that?. About Nicole?.
You knew she was going after Ben and you didn't tell me?.
He mentioned something at work
about... her paying a lot of attention to him.
How could you not tell me that?.
I'm sorry.
I don't think he likes Nicole.
That's what Lynn said. But if it's not her, who is it?.
I should have just come out and said, "Julie, I can't believe this,
but I think the girl he likes might be me"'
But if I'd said that, she would have asked me what I felt about Ben
and... I don't know how I would have answered that question.
I started to wonder, I mean, maybe Elena was right,
What would be wrong with considering going with Ben?
Considering doesn't hurt anyone, right?
So, what if we did this?.
- I shouldn't even be here. - I'm glad you're here.
I was in bed last night, just trying to figure it all out.
Like, what it would mean if we went together.
How come everything has to have so much meaning?.
I've never met someone so desperate for meaning.
Look, I'm leaving tonight. Are you gonna come with me?.
I can't be having this conversation because I'm the devil.
You keep saying you're the devil. You are not the devil.
- What if I am, then what?. - I'd still want you to come with me.
First of all, you would not want me to go with you if I were the devil.
And, secondly, it's not just us.
- There are other people involved. - But I like you. I can't help it.
I mean, you're crazy and you analyse everything,
and that kinda scared me at first, but, I don't know,
you're really smart about things and you've been a good friend to me.
And I really like you.
Look, we have a chance to go on this trip together
and I really wanna do it.
I wanna do it, too.
I found my disk.
Julie, I am really sorry... that you heard that.
I should have come to you and told you something up front.
No, that would have been hard.
How do you tell somebody you're trying to steal their boyfriend?.
That's not what I was doing.
God! When I was asking you if you thought there was another woman,
I had no idea I was talking to her.
- Julie... - He's a good kisser, isn't he?.
I did not plan this.
Julie... I am so sorry.
I don't care what the hell you are.
You can be sorry or not. It doesn't matter to me.
You're just a lying bitch.
I don't know what to say.
You don't have to say anything. I want you to leave.
- Julie, I'm not going with Ben. - I mean it. Just get out of here.
I mean, I'm not going with Ben, I'm... going to Berlin with Noel.
I'm not really sure that you're going to Berlin with Noel.
- What?. - I told him.
How could you do that?.
Can we just talk?.
I want that ticket back. You know, obviously.
I just hope this whole year wasn't for nothing,
I hope I learned something,
When I came here, I didn't know anyone.
Even the boy I followed to New York was a stranger.
Which, it turns out, is why I followed him to New York.
There are people here that I'd never met...
.. who just became so important to me.
It's, like... I don't know...
I guess they just felt like real friends.
I bet you get this a lot, right?.
Kids at the end of the year crying about the way things turned out.
Are you still thinking about becoming an RA?.
I don't think so.
- Really?. - Yeah.
I'm kinda feeling like, who am I to be giving anyone advice?.
You're someone who's been through it.
So... see you next year?.
Hi.
- I thought you left. - I did.
I left and then I came back.
- Why?. - Why do you think?.
You didn't come back for me?.
Yeah, I did.
I was driving, trying to think of some great reason to come back,
something else to say to try to convince you.
I know if you were me, you'd have some great reason,
some big speech with all this meaning.
But... I don't have that.
All I have is that I like you.
And that I got as far as Harrisburg but I came back,
so maybe there's some meaning in that.
- Ben. - I never wanted to hurt Julie.
I can't stand how screwed up this is.
But, at the same time,...
I can't help how I feel.
So, this is the last time I'm gonna ask.
Will you come with me?. Please.
Cos I already know it's a better trip if we're together.
Alright, look, I'm gonna go back to the loft.
I'm gonna wait till ten and if you're not there that's cool,
I'll see you in the summer, OK?.
I can't believe you came back.
Yeah, I know.
It turns out Noel left me this incredible letter,
This is what he wrote,
"Dear Felicity"'
"Although it's true, it seems impossible"'
"Nine months ago, I didn't even know you"'
"Now I can say with absolute certainty
that there's no one on the planet who means more to me than you"'
"Whatever happened with you and Ben,
whatever happens with you and anyone,
it could never change the way I feel"'
"So, with that, I conclude this sappy yet sincere letter
and ask you to please seriously consider using the enclosed"'
"Love, Noel"'
When I was six years old, I had an ant farm.
After a few months, I opened the top, left it outside,
The next day, the farm was empty, All the ants were gone,
But they'd left behind these tunnels,
all these empty spaces they'd been living and working in for months,
I remember staring at this empty ant farm and noticing one last ant,
still inside, still moving little grains of sand.
I watched him for a while until he began making his way
through the maze of tunnels and finally climbing out the top,
Anyway, once he was outside on the grass, he just stopped,
I swear to God it was like he was trying to decide which way to go,
But then, finally, off he went,
So, here's the thing, I've made a decision,
I'm not flying home by myself,
I didn't have to make a decision between Ben and Noel, but I did,
So, where to?.
I'll be home in a few weeks and I'll send you a tape when I get there,
Love, Felicity,