Previously on Felicity...
OK. Good-bye.
Apparently, this was all a big misunderstanding.
- What? - They're backpedaling. You won.
- We won?! - We won.
Oh, God!
I sent a letter to the Independent Film Channel... on that docuventary thing
that I did last year. And they want to see it, so I'm sending'em a copy.
- The thing I was in? Please don't send it.- Oh, I'm sending it.
Hi there. The name's Sean Blumberg.
I'm a documentarian.
How do I look?
Fat.
- Really? - Yeah.
Maybe because you're so close. Take a couple steps back.
See?
No. You still look fat.
Give me the camera.
Are you sure you know how to make a documentary?
- Yes. Hey! - No.
Listen to me. I talked to the guy... at the Independent Film Channel.
- Can you tell me this without filming me? - He wants me to continue my documentary
but he wants me to add scope and context so this year.
I'm gonna ask everybody what they wanna do with the rest of their lives.
I hate that question. It's my worst nightmare.
That's what I' m lookin' for. That's emotion. Baby.
Hey. Why is that such a tough question. Ben?
I really don't like being interviewed, especially by you.
- I don't like it, so... - Ben. It's cool, man. Don't worry about it.
This time, I'm workin' with him.
So. Will you sit down with us over the next couple of... - No. I'm busy.
I'm getting all my community service out of the way.
I got 6 jobs over 72 hours, and then I'm done, so...
Good. We'll come visit you at those jobs.
You're not comin' to visit me at those jobs, all right?
Oh. OK. Hey. Listen.
Do you think Felicity will want to participate?
No!
Really? Will you help us convince her?
No-o-o!
- I think they'll do it. - Of course they'll do it.
Scotty, divert the warp drive into the shield.
No, I can't do it, Captain.
The shield's at 30%. She just doesn't have the power.
Heh heh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is gonna be fun.
You want to interview me? Yeah.
Uh, you know what? No, no, I can't.
- No, forget it. - Why?
No. Because...
I heard that the camera adds fifty pounds.
No. The camera adds ten pounds.
- Only ten? - Yeah.
That's not so bad.
OK, I'll do it. All right, go ahead.
- OK, so the first ques... - Oh, now?
Wait one second. Felicity. Can l- -
Hey! Wait. Wait. Hey! Hey! Felicity.
Here we go.
Felicity. Please. Come on.
It got so personal last year. That was the point.
A major subplot was your love life. Huh?
You gotta continue that story line.
It's not a story line. It's my life.
Yeah. Hold this for a second.
Dick. Hold this. Hold the camera.
Listen...
this is the first real chance I've
ever had, right... at something legit.
But this is an ongoing documentary, right...
so I have to interview the same people from last year...
which includes you...
my star, right?
So, please, come on.
I don't even have a love life.
I don't care. I don't. And Ben already agreed to do it.
- He did? - Yeah, he's psyched, right?
Oh. My God. He's totally psyched.
Totally psyched.
I'm gonna shove that camera up your ass. I'm not kiddin'.
Felicity said... - No, she didn't.
- Yes, she did. - No, she didn't. - Yes. She did!
Fine. Just hurry up and get it over with.
Just ask me some questions and get it over with.
Start off by tellin' us just what you're doing here?
I'm doing community service.
Felicity and I got caught doing a very naughty thing.
We broke into the campus pool which apparently
is like murdering somebody around here.
OK. Now that you're a sophomore what are you gonna do
with the rest of your life... besides dry these dishes?
- When are you gonna do this with Felicity? - We' re goingthe re next
- She and Greg are gonna do the interview. - Oh, that'll be good.
A lot of statistics. That'll be entertaining.
- Oh, my God. - What?
Look at that.
- It's a retainer. - Oh. Dear God.
I'm never gonna break into the campus pool again.
Hey!
Sorry. I had to get the wire through.
Guys, thanks again for doin' this.
See if you still want to thank us after the interview.
Uh, we are just gonna put up a couple of lights...
- then we'll be all set. - OK.
Come on.
No. Don't say, "Come on," like I work for you. - Come on.
- I'm not kidding. - Come on! - Sean, cut it out!
Come on.
I'm sorry, but did you kiss me in here the other day?
Uh, yeah. I guess I did.
I... I thought so.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
All right, this'll only take a second.
So I guess I owe you one.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
Nothing.
Perfect. Beautiful, beautiful.
Good. Good. Good. Good. Ohh.
What's that smell?
Are you gonna, uh, interview Julie?
Yeah.
See, I think she should interview you.
OK. Shut up.
You're never gonna tell her you love her, are you?
- You know what? - What's he talking about?
Nothing. Nothing.
So. Tell me about Felicity and her friends.
Does this look stupid or fantastic?
- Is this good? Because... It's good.
It hurts a bit in the back.
Felicity is my favorite. She's the sweetest thing.
She's optimistic, and she's so romantic...
and she's an autumn, too, you know.
A who?
Autumn. It's a season.
Like what colors look good on you?
Like, she's an autumn, and I'm an autumn, also.
You know? So that we're kind of like sisters.
Noel. Noel is... is a sweetheart.
He's a cutie pie.
If Noel was gay, my boyfriend
would be in big trouble, OK?
Pack your bags and move out.
You know, I don't care if it's rent control.
Move out. Guess who's coming to dinner.
- And. Action. No. Don't look at me. - Sean. Shut up.
- OK. When I tell you to begin... - Don't look at me. - Sean.
I'm sorry. It's all right. Go ahead.
When I tell you guys to begin you'll have
45 minutes to answer 3 essay questions.
Um, remember to keep your responses clear and concise.
And remember... pace yourselves, OK?
Any questions?
Good luck. Ben.
Teaching was never something that I thought about doing.
But I've been a T.A. For a few months now...
and I think I've really got the hang of it.
What exactly are you?
Uh, it's a T.A. I, like, I assist the teacher.
So he doesn't have to show up. I come in.
You went from an R.A. To a T.A.
That's good. - Isn't that good?
Did you hear?
What?
About Maureen.
No. What happened?
Let's just say her punch card's missing.
What?
Yeah. Her sack lunch won't be in the fridge anymore.
- What are you talking about? - Have you seen Maureen today?
- No. - Well, you won't see her tomorrow, either.
- What are you saying? Did she quit? - You didn't hear it from me.
Hey, what do you think of this sweater?
My sister sent it to me.
Totally.
I really want that job.
Why?
Because it'd be a great experience...
and plus, a little more money.
And it'd also be good to have on my resume.
Now, last year, you were straddling art and medicine.
Yeah. You were also straddling Noel.
Richard!
I'm sorry.
Uh, Ben. Oh, Ben.
He's like... he, uh,
he's so confused, you know?
He's like this... this sweet dumb guy.
But the thing is, the twist...
is he's not dumb at all, you know?
He just comes off that way.
I'd just really like to say for the record that
I really enjoy working in the admissions office.
Leonore and I have a lot in common.
But what's your job here exactly?
Oh, I, uh... I file classified student files.
Yeah. If there's a problem with the system...
somebody like me has access to your classified student files.
And what do you want to do with the rest of your life?
Come on. Dick. Dick.
Come on, man. I see more of the mike than his head.
Excuse me. My arms aren't made of steel.
Yeah. You need arms of steel to hold a microphone. Come on.
Hey, how'd that interview go with Greg and Felicity?
The interview went... it was fine. It was great.
- Great. - Really good, yeah.
Man. You really hate that guy. Huh?
Yeah, I do. I do hate that guy.
But her hours are almost up there and then
I'll never have to think about him again, so...
You're the one with the access to the classified files.
Why don't you just. I dunno. Change his G.P.A.?
You'll feel a lot better.
You seem nervous.
Um, I am nervous.
I'm... I'm about to make a pitch.
For what?
For me.
Um... I heard that Maureen quit and I think I could take her place.
You?
I know that I've only been here for a few months...
but I think I've shown real dedication here...
and despite the sit-in which completely disrupted service for two days...
I'm always on time, if not early...
and I've basically been shadowing you, so I know how you work.
Plus, I have prior experience. I worked at my dad's office for two summers...
and I also volunteered at the Stanford hospital the pediatric unit.
I wondered if you'd want to stay on here... after your community service is over.
Well, only if I'm right for the job.
I mean, I don't want favoritism.
- Why would there be favoritism? - Well, you know what I mean.
Am I wasting your time? Have you already found a replacement?
No, no, no. You're not wasting your time.
Good. Well, then, please officially consider me.
I will.
- Call me later? - Yeah, I will.
Hey.
So, what do you know about that guy Greg?
Oh, um... Ruby and I went to see him. He seemed really nice. That's about it.
What about Greg and Felicity?
- What do you mean? - I mean, you know if they're getting together?
Greg and Felicity?
Yeah. She hasn't said anything about that yet? No?
- No. Are they dating? - I think so, yeah. I think maybe.
I had no idea.
I just learned somethin' pretty interesting about that guy.
Two years ago, he was busted for cocaine possession.
That guy? Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure. - He works in the health center.
I know. I thought that was pretty screwed up, too...
and so now I don't know what to do. Do I tell her?
Do I not tell her? I don't know.
Well, we're not sure that they're getting together, right?
That's true, but if I find out that they are, I gotta tell her.
OK, but until then, we can't overreact.
She's an adult, so we should probably just stay out of this.
Yeah, she's an adult.
There was somethin' about that guy I didn't like.
Tell me about it.
Dear Sally...
OK, this isn't gonna work.
Oh, no, no. Come on. It's like a day in the life. We need this.
Oh, good. You guys.
Hey, how about that tour of the dorm?
I'm gonna be late for work. Maybe Meghan can do it.
Oh, yeah, 'cause I do everything Felicity says now.
Have a good day, master.
You want a tour?
Yeah.
How much you got?
Uh... 50.
- 75. - 60.
- 75. - OK, wait. Just...
- Deal. - 90.
- You just said 75. - I meant 90.
OK.
Now get out.
You take American Express?
Well, do you?
Elena. Oh, I love Elena. She's so sassy.
You know, Elena... I love what she dresses all the time.
She's very sassy. She rarely wears brassieres and stuff like that.
I knew I wanted to be a doctor ever since I was six.
Wow. What about you?
Five.
What are you doing to ensure that you get into a good med school.
I ran blood drives. I took CPR courses.
I entered in science fairs.
And last summer, I assisted a professor here.
A Dr. McGrath.
McGrath?
What's wrong with him?
He's a prince of darkness. I don't like him.
Hey, you'll cut that out, right?
Uh. Yeah. We can...
They're gone.
What's gone?
The blue books. The tests I'm supposed to be grading.
The exams. You guys are everywhere.
Hey, what's up here, man?
Did you check your backpack?
No, I hadn't thought of that. Yes, genius, like five times!
- Don't give me tone. - No, I'm sorry.
But look, if I don't find 'em, my life is over, OK?
God.
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm already about ten minutes late for a staff meeting...
so we don't have time to iron out the details right now but
would you be at all interested in having dinner with me tomorrow night?
Please say yes because the staff meeting's gonna take
forever and a yes would really help me get through it.
I thought you had a massively messed-up past...
and should never be in a relationship again, legally.
Good point. Um...
I'm, uh... I'm asking you out anyway.
Um, yes.
Yes?
OK, great.
Um, OK.
And I swear to God that your response... had nothing to do with this, by the way.
Yeah. Where do you want it? I don't. It's for taxes.
You need to fill one out when you get a new job.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Thank you.
- Cheers to Felicity's new job. - To Felicity's new generosity.
Hey! I just couldn't afford to take you guys out before.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, right.
Hey, Ben.
Hey. Come sit down. We're celebrating.
OK, girls... keep interacting socially as if we're not even here.
- What is wrong with you? - Get in closer. Get in closer.
Hey, you should stay for dinner because it's my treat. Why is it your treat?
Because she's the new assistant to the director...
of the health center. Thank you very much.
- You're, uh, you're Greg's assistant? - Yeah.
So, uh... are you not gonna be working at Dean & DeLuca?
I don't know what the schedule's gonna be yet...
but I probably can't afford to quit that job.
That's great. Um, congratulations.
Thank you.
So, this is the glamorous life of the assistant to the director.
So. What are you copying?
A pamphlet.
"Scabies: Effective treatments."
Nice.
Dr. Tannen is coming today instead of Dr. Blaine.
Uh, yeah. Thank you. I got the message.
Doug's a new guy here. I'm giving him the tour.
That must be exciting.
What do you mean?
Oh, just that it's not really that exciting.
Oh. OK.
OK. This way.
How's 8:00 sound?
Yeah. That sounds great.
Great. Hello again.
Hi. Hey. Sorry again about your computer files.
Ahem. Don't worry about it.
Wait a second. This is great!
If the two of you are goin' out. Can we come along?
- Sean. - What?
Come on. I gotta ask. Right?
OK, that means one thing...
- we gotta spy on her. - Richard. I- -
What? We're documentarians, man.
It's our job.
Campus security.
- OK. - Try it.
Campus security.
OK, try it again...
with more emphasis on "campus."
Campus security.
Better.
Oh. God. I cannot believe we're doin' this.
Come on. This is fantastic. This is what we need for our movie.
Sophomore year... Felicity's new love interest.
- I know that. - It's our subplot!
- I know. But Ben's gonna hate this. - Why?
He just doesn't like that guy.
Yeah. No kidding. What's his problem?
Oh. Yeah. She's totally lovin' it.
And he's layin' it on thick. Too. Oh. Whoo!
We really shouldn't be doin' this.
OK. Here it is. The moment of truth.
Oh. Man. I hope she doesn't kiss him.
- Why not? - Just Ben. Ben'll hate that.
Why does Ben hate Greg so much. Anyway?
I don't know.
What? She doesn't see us.
Sean!
Oh. Crap.
I'm gonna kill you!
OK. Let's go. This is bad.
- This is like "Blair Witch" bad. - Keep runnin'! Keep runnin'!
So. What's your major now?
Um, I'm art history.
Yeah, um, when I was twelve...
my parents took my brother and I to Italy...
and we went to the Uffizi Gallery...
and saw this painting called "The Sacrifice
of Isaac" by Caravaggio. Have you ever seen it?
- Um. No. - Nope.
It's amazing.
I mean, I couldn't stop staring at this painting.
It was... so beautiful.
Anyway, so l... I just love museums...
and one day, I'm gonna be a curator.
But before I'm anything, I'm gonna be a mother.
Yeah, I'm pregnant.
Is that something you wanna talk about?
Not really. No, I, uh...
About one out of every 2,000 people I talk to...
actually understands why I'm doing this.
How did your parents react to you being pregnant?
I haven't even told them yet.
But I'm going to Colorado next week to tell them.
Yeah. Noel convinced me of that.
He's the greatest.
I never thought I'd choose
to do something like this...
have a baby.
But...
but actually...
being pregnant...
it's changed something inside of me.
Are you and Ruby still dating?
Uh, no.
Ruby seems to really miss you.
Do you think that if she didn't decide to keep
the baby the two of you would still be dating?
I don't know.
I got to go find those tests.
Lloyd, I promise you don't need the patch no matter what the commercial says.
Because you don't smoke.
Um, you're welcome. You be safe, too.
Jim, are you OK?
Yeah, just another manic Monday.
Well, hey, did I do something?
Uh, let me think. Yes.
Well, tell me. Whatever it is, I didn't mean to do it.
Well, let's put it this way...
Miss Assistant to the Director of the Health Center...
I have work-studied here for two years.
You wanted the job.
Well, I didn't want to not get the job, you know?
And now, apparently there's no room for me here...
so next Friday is my last day.
What?
I guess I just wasn't Greg's type.
Yeah?
Hey.
I have a question.
I had a great time last night.
Yeah. Me, too.
Did you lobby for me to get this position because you like me?
- Yeah. - Yes?
I like you. I can't help that.
Now... now Jim's leaving the health center.
Well, we lost a work-study slot. There's nothing left for him.
- But he's been here for two years. - I know. It's too bad.
- So he should have gotten the assistant position. But he didn't. - You did.
- But I'm not more qualified than he is. - No, not by a long shot.
Where are you going?
What's goin' on?
This is the person who should be the assistant to the director.
No, no, no, no.
Jim, if you could just give us a moment, please.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do not put me on the spot like that.
You said there wouldn't be any favoritism.
What can I say? You're unbelievably hard-working.
Jim could do the job at least as well as I could.
True or false?
Hands-down true.
- Then I don't want the job. - It's too late. It's already yours.
I'll go back to being a volunteer.
You never were a volunteer. You were a comm-serv.
The number of staff that we can have here is limited by the university.
You met the new volunteer. We're maxed out.
So I have to take the job or leave?
- How can you turn down a volunteer? - I don't make the rules.
Look. I had to call Simmons...
and make a real hard sell for you. OK?
And now, you're just being ungrateful.
If you don't want the job, then quit.
Fine. Yeah. I quit.
Does college ever become so overwhelming that, you know, you can't take the pressure?
No. Not really.
Well, you know, for me it does.
Um... I can run, play basketball...
but, uh, what really gets me through it when I'm stressing is I got
this little stuffed rabbit doll that I got from when I was a kid...
and I, uh, toss it into my backpack...
and just knowin' it's there.
Well, um... I guess I have a little somethin'.
I had this... this name tag made up.
Uh, Dr. Elena Tyler.
I never told anybody this but
sometimes I feel like I'm just not gonna make it...
and I rub it,
and like a mantra I say...
"Yes, I am.
Yes, I am Dr. Elena Tyler."
- Baby, uh... - What?
I was kidding about
the rabbit thing, but...
You know, I've had enough of you.
Sorry.
- Hey, have you found my, uh... - No!
It's in a big manila envelope.
Nobody's seen your blue books, man.
So. What happens if you don't find those tests?
Then I am a dead man!
- For a first draft. It's OK. It's fine. - I think it's pretty darn good.
I think it was a good try on your part.
Let's now do what we'll probably keep.
Which is, you know, my version.
You're so controlling.
Someone has to, you know, be the, you know... I thought it was a joint project.
No. OK. You know what? Let's... let's... let's, uh...
let's do this transition here.
And that's called a dissolve.
OK, and that's called condescending. I know what a dissolve is.
- No, you did a... you did a flash frame. - Hey.
Hey. How's my little security guard?
That old guy turned out to be pretty cool, actually.
Is he still alive?
Yeah, he's still alive. His name's Al.
The guy fought in two wars.
He's got this 4-inch metal plate in his head. He let me feel it.
- That's a pleasant thought. - How's your stupid movie?
Don't say "Stupid movie." It's not a stupid movie.
- No, it's a great movie. - Yeah.
- Now, we have a subplot, too. - A what?
- Felicity and Greg. - What do you mean?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
Oh. My God. Check it out. We left the camera runnin'...
and they didn't know. Check this out.
I'm sorry, but did you kiss me in here the other day?
Uh, yeah. I guess I did.
Yeah. I- -I thought so. Uh...
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
You know what? I think Ben gets the idea.
No, no, no, no. You've got to wait and see this.
Sophomore year a new romantic interest for Felicity Porter...
Greg Stinson.
- Look at her. Look at how into him she is. - It's not a big deal.
She digs this fella.
Look at her. Heh heh.
No, wait. Ben.
What's his problem?
Hey, is, uh, Felicity around?
Excuse me. Is Felicity around?
I don't think so.
- So, she's not here? - I just said, I don't think so.
She said that she was workin', so, what? Did she leave?
Ben, if she's not here,
then she must have left, right?
- Thanks. - Sure.
What the hell are you doing?
- I know about you. - You know what?
I know about the cocaine, I know about the arrest...
and I know that... that she is too good for you.
- Get outta here. - If you hurt her in any way...
I'll kill you. Got it?
I don't understand the problem.
How could you not understand?
You asked for the job. You got the job.
Now, you refuse to keep the job, and now you're blaming Greg?
Because he gave me the job for the wrong reasons.
He gave you the job.
Because he has a crush on me, or whatever it is...
and the guy who deserves the job lost his job.
You know, you could argue...
I could arg... I am arguing...
that you're sabotaging an opportunity.
What?
You are too afraid to commit to this job...
to take a step forward.
That's not the point. I went out to dinner with this guy.
We were starting to see each other outside of work...
and he gave me the job, even though I don't deserve it.
Deserve it? Deserve it how?
What planet are you from that even the most remote
accomplishment has gotta pass some squeaky-clean test?
You deserve an opportunity. That's what this is.
- But this guy Jim has worked there for over two years. - Two years. I heard you.
I've got nothing against this Jim.
Whoever this kid is, I give him the full benefit of the doubt...
but if he were sitting here instead of you bitching about how some girl got
the job after he'd worked there for two years do you know what I'd say to him?
Yeah. Grow up.
Grow up.
Look, in the grand scheme of things...
there's gonna be 2,000 Jims in your life.
And you know what? Most of the time they're
gonna get the opportunities that you won't...
because they've got a penis, and you don't.
Well, I don't agree with that comment.
You don't need to agree with it. That's the beauty part.
You have finished your community service.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
- So, anyway, I decided against the lipo. - That's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean played me back some of my
interview and two things struck me in the face.
One... I am not so bad-looking...
and two... my English is fantastic.
Felicity.
You got a minute?
I'm not the most revealing person, uh...
...about anything.
Has Ben talked to you yet?
No.
I had a drug problem... for a while.
It was, uh... just one of those things.
I, uh... I was so lost in it...
that I didn't even realize I had a problem until I got arrested.
Anyway, when things couldn't get any worse, they didn't...
and, uh, I finally got some help.
And I'm clean now. I've been clean for years.
Why are you telling me this?
Because I wanted to tell you before Ben could.
Ben?
He found out about it somehow. I don't know.
He came to see me...
and, uh, he was just being protective of you.
- What did he say to you? - Nothing.
Look, I work at that health center 40 hours a week...
and it's a lot of running around, making up for resources we don't have...
uh, doing all the doctors' grunt work.
It's, uh, tedious, it's exhausting...
and... and until recently, rarely exhilarating.
Having you there has changed that.
I see you in the hall, and it makes me happy.
I'm good at running that place, but...
having you there... makes me better.
I think I figured out a way to hire you and Jim.
How? I thought you only had the budget for one assistant.
Don't worry about it.
So, where's the money coming from?
I'm taking care of it.
You're not... you're not gonna take a pay cut?
- Look, I want you there. - No, Greg. I won't take your money.
I'll come back. Believe me, I want to, but I'll come back as a volunteer.
With that new kid, the volunteer slots are full.
Hey. I just wanted to come by and say... that I know it's your first day here...
so if the blood gets to you don't worry about it. It's normal.
What blood?
All the blood. I mean, there's a lot of blood working here.
From what?
Well, the emergencies, mostly. Last week a guy came in...
and, you know, his hand was almost entirely severed.
Yeah. It was hanging on by the skin.
Are you serious?
Well, no, I mean...
No. There's not a lot of blood.
Doug, here's the thing.
I really want to volunteer here but you just took the last available position.
I don't know you. I don't know what I could offer you, but I'll owe you,
and that way you can go through life...
knowing that a stranger owes you a favor...
and whenever you need it... you
can just call me, and I'll repay it.
What do you mean, "volunteer" position?
You thought this was a paying job?
It's not?
How do you do it?
I mean. How do you... how do you handle it?
You know. You're pre-med. Right? That's tough.
You know, the truth, it is tough...
being pre-med and having a social life.
I never really cared much about it before...
until I met... Miss Competitive.
Why do you think she's so competitive?
I don't know, you know? Uh...
all I know is, uh, she's the one person who tries to prove herself to everyone...
but in my mind, she's the one person who doesn't have to. You know?
Yeah, we...
- we need some emotion. - Yeah.
- You know, we really, really need, oh, we need some tears. - Yes.
I am a free man.
I am done with community service.
Well, hallelujah.
Yeah, but I'm sort of gonna miss working with Al.
Is that guy still alive?
Will you quit sayin' that? That's not funny.
What is that?
Ah, some girl brought this into
lost-and-found but it's got Noel's name on it.
What?
Yeah.
There, uh... Noel Crane.
- Uh, I think we have our tears. - Pay dirt. Ha ha ha ha!
I'll just tell Professor Boyden that I, uh...
That I lost the mid-term essay exams...
and that with those exams went my future.
What if you could get them back?
It would save my life, but...
yeah, I'd give almost anything to get'em back.
Let's just say we're not just documentarians.
We're your guardian angels.
- You guys had these all along? - Get a close-up.
All you have to do is say thank you.
Thank you.
Hey. Hey! Ow! Oh. My eye! My eye!
Julie. Julie, her body's like a muffin...
and she is so cute and little.
You just want to, like, eat her up, you know?
I mean, if... if I were not gay...
No, I still would like her, but, you know, she's cute.
What are you looking for in a guy?
I guess, somebody who understands me.
Which means he'd probably have to be from Mars.
No. Seriously.
Oh. Looking for in a guy. I don't know. Somebody... somebody who loves me...
in spite of all the obvious problems.
I don't think I'm gonna find that guy.
No. I think you will.
Hey.
Where did you find out about Greg?
- What do you mean? - Don't say "What do you mean" like you don't know what I'm talkin' about.
- Listen to me, that guy is trouble... - I didn't ask for your opinion.
I want to know where you found that out.
In his file. His student file.
He was arrested.
Yeah, I know. He told me.
What are you doing looking in his file?
Because I didn't trust the guy and now I know why I felt like that.
You have no right to go investigating who he is.
What are you talkin' about? That's exactly what you did to me.
- Well, that was last year. - So what?
So that doesn't count. That doesn't...
That was stupid and irrational and I did that because I was in love with you.
Yeah. Yeah. You know what? You do whatever you want.
I don't care. Do whatever you want.
How you doin'?
Lloyd. Hiccups go away. You know that.
OK, I'm hanging up now. Good-bye.
I'm glad you're back.
So am I.
Now we're even.
I think...
this is a bagel.
OK, OK. Come over here, Doug.
I'm going to introduce you to Mr. Mop.
Yes, OK. All right.
He's new.
To whom it may concern at the Independent Film Channel...
we hope you agree that what we've sent you...
could be an extremely compelling documentary...
on what it's like to be a student going to college and...
Hey.
I don't want to talk about it.
You see that? Drama unfolding all the time.
It's an ongoing process. We're gonna keep shootin' it.
So, we hope you enjoyed it, and we hope
you're interested and you get back to us soon.
- Oh. God. What was my question? - About her being an R.A. And what not?
- An R.A.? - Yeah. A resident advisor.
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Uh. What made you decide to be a resident advisor?
You want to know the truth? I made a bet with someone.
Really? What do you get for being an R.A. For a year?
What do I get?
This is what I get. I lost the bet.
What about. Uh. Meghan?
Mmm. Meghan.
She scares me to death.