1
00:00:01,354 --> 00:00:03,153
Max,
I can't wait to go home
2
00:00:03,154 --> 00:00:05,537
and ilegally download that documentary
about performance art.
3
00:00:05,554 --> 00:00:06,853
And I can't wait to go home and watch
4
00:00:06,854 --> 00:00:08,237
"Here comes Honey Boo Boo."
5
00:00:08,954 --> 00:00:10,237
But first you have to see this.
6
00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:12,037
Her name is Marina Abramovic.
7
00:00:12,038 --> 00:00:14,537
In the 90's she and her boyfriend
did this piece called "Confrontation"
8
00:00:14,538 --> 00:00:16,837
where they just slapped
each other's faces for days.
9
00:00:17,338 --> 00:00:18,003
Oh yeah?
10
00:00:18,004 --> 00:00:19,537
My mom and her boyfriend
did that too,
11
00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:22,390
but they called it,
"Who smoked the last cigarette."
12
00:00:22,392 --> 00:00:25,042
No, really, it was pure art.
She's a genius.
13
00:00:25,044 --> 00:00:28,212
How about you and I
do a little art right now?
14
00:00:35,013 --> 00:00:36,312
Ah.
15
00:00:39,685 --> 00:00:41,017
What are they doing?
16
00:00:41,019 --> 00:00:42,485
I think they
might be doing a scene
17
00:00:42,487 --> 00:00:44,554
from Fifty Shades Of Grey.
18
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,827
Ah, okay, stop.
19
00:00:50,829 --> 00:00:52,162
Okay.
20
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,467
That's for suggesting
we make a lip-synch video
21
00:00:57,469 --> 00:00:59,936
to Call Me Maybe.
22
00:00:59,938 --> 00:01:02,472
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
23
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:07,010
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ♪
24
00:01:08,942 --> 00:01:13,010
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:22,726 --> 00:01:24,893
What's up, my man?
You look pretty down.
26
00:01:24,895 --> 00:01:26,595
My mother in Korea
is working
27
00:01:26,597 --> 00:01:28,330
my last nerve,
you know, Earl?
28
00:01:28,832 --> 00:01:32,033
Well, uh, I didn't expect
a back and forth here.
29
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:37,305
Uh, Max,
do you wanna move in?
30
00:01:37,307 --> 00:01:40,008
Han, you can't let your mommy
keep bullying you.
31
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:43,044
Stand up to her.
You're a 53-year-old man.
32
00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:50,252
Max, I am 29.
33
00:01:50,254 --> 00:01:53,488
What?
34
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:55,423
I am 29.
35
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:58,393
What do you got, a case
of the Benjamin Buttons?
36
00:01:59,762 --> 00:02:02,497
Caroline,
Han says he's 29.
37
00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:05,000
What?
38
00:02:05,002 --> 00:02:06,368
Han, are you sure?
39
00:02:06,370 --> 00:02:08,503
Yes, what makes you
think I'm older?
40
00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:10,438
- Well, everything--
your hair, your clothes,
41
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,075
the $5 check you gave me
for my birthday.
44
00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:29,457
I have one question.
Do you wanna live?
45
00:02:29,459 --> 00:02:32,193
Actually, today,
I could go either way.
46
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,728
You see this?
47
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,530
Go around the diner
and have everyone fill it
48
00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:36,798
with the contents
of their purse,
49
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,833
and if you do,
nobody gets hurt.
50
00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:40,302
Okay, okay, okay,
but, uh, I don't know
51
00:02:40,304 --> 00:02:41,736
how much
you're gonna collect here.
52
00:02:41,738 --> 00:02:43,905
I mean, most of these customers
pay with coins
53
00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:46,641
or fresh tomatoes
from their garden.
54
00:02:46,643 --> 00:02:48,143
Uh, Earl, listen up.
55
00:02:48,145 --> 00:02:49,878
We're being robbed
by that man in the suit,
56
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,147
and he wants everyone to empty
their stuff into this bag.
57
00:02:52,149 --> 00:02:54,182
Uh, Max,
I've been on both sides
58
00:02:54,184 --> 00:02:55,987
of this situation,
59
00:02:58,989 --> 00:03:03,158
and the best thing to do
is play along.
60
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,561
Okay, Caroline,
I'm gonna tell you something,
61
00:03:06,563 --> 00:03:07,996
and I don't want you
to react.
62
00:03:07,998 --> 00:03:09,998
I knew you
were gonna get pregnant.
63
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,834
Damn it!
All right, fine.
64
00:03:12,836 --> 00:03:14,602
- We'll get through this together.
- No!
65
00:03:14,604 --> 00:03:17,405
Look, we're being robbed,
and that guy in the suit
66
00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:19,007
might have a gun.
67
00:03:19,009 --> 00:03:22,010
No, no--just do what I say,
and stay calm.
68
00:03:22,012 --> 00:03:24,079
I need you to empty your purse
into the trash bag.
69
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,349
I can't believe
this is happening
70
00:03:27,351 --> 00:03:29,684
just when I saved $2.
71
00:03:29,686 --> 00:03:32,587
Max, I can't die,
and I certainly can't die
72
00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:34,255
in this ugly uniform.
73
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:36,324
I mean,
it looks good on you.
74
00:03:39,895 --> 00:03:42,630
Are you having
a heart attack?
75
00:03:42,632 --> 00:03:44,699
I'm peeing.
76
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,802
What do you mean?
77
00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:52,073
I'm really freaked out,
and I'm peeing.
78
00:03:52,075 --> 00:03:53,241
I can't stop!
79
00:03:53,243 --> 00:03:55,243
Just stop, stop!
Clench it.
80
00:03:55,245 --> 00:03:57,045
Okay.
81
00:03:57,047 --> 00:04:00,148
No, can't.
82
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:01,483
Step out
from behind the counter.
83
00:04:01,485 --> 00:04:02,951
Sorry, sir, I can't.
84
00:04:02,953 --> 00:04:06,755
- Why?
- Well, um, I'm peeing.
85
00:04:07,257 --> 00:04:08,890
Still?
86
00:04:08,892 --> 00:04:10,792
Out of the way, girls.
I'll take down this--
87
00:04:10,794 --> 00:04:13,762
whoa!
88
00:04:13,764 --> 00:04:15,597
Get away from him.
89
00:04:15,599 --> 00:04:17,065
Miss, you need to get out
from behind the counter now
90
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:20,969
- before I--
- Uh, please take her, not me.
91
00:04:20,971 --> 00:04:23,004
- What's happening?
- Han, we're being robbed.
92
00:04:23,506 --> 00:04:24,639
So sorry.
93
00:04:24,641 --> 00:04:26,508
Please take everything
94
00:04:26,510 --> 00:04:29,778
that is
in my manny-pack.
95
00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:33,181
Would it be possible
if I took my prayer beads out?
96
00:04:33,183 --> 00:04:37,085
They've been in my family
for hundreds and hundreds of--
97
00:04:37,087 --> 00:04:40,155
I don't think so, homeboy.
98
00:04:45,261 --> 00:04:48,329
You're in my house now,
bitch.
99
00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:57,272
Here's what's left
in the bag.
100
00:04:57,274 --> 00:05:00,275
Nope, sorry.
I don't see your dignity.
101
00:05:00,277 --> 00:05:02,043
Max, don't.
102
00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:04,179
Isn't it enough that
I'm wearing dishwasher whites
103
00:05:04,181 --> 00:05:06,748
that have been around
since the invention of B.O.?
104
00:05:09,552 --> 00:05:13,621
Oh, look at that, something
ate right through the swiffer,
105
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:16,558
and I don't think
it was the bleach.
106
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,961
How will you ever live
with the shame?
107
00:05:19,963 --> 00:05:22,464
Can you believe
that is the man who saved us?
108
00:05:22,466 --> 00:05:24,666
Yeah, I did not see
a gun coming.
109
00:05:24,668 --> 00:05:27,535
I saw nunchucks, ninja smoke,
maybe some hairpulling,
110
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:28,970
but not a gun.
111
00:05:28,972 --> 00:05:31,573
Well, good night,
ladies.
112
00:05:31,575 --> 00:05:34,309
I thought we all acted
very brave tonight.
113
00:05:34,311 --> 00:05:37,312
Well, some of us.
114
00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:40,348
Oh, yeah, I had a trauma,
and I urinated.
115
00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:43,585
Ha, ha!
That's hilarious.
116
00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:45,086
Yeah, you might need
some counseling.
117
00:05:45,088 --> 00:05:46,721
I could drop you off
at a therapist
118
00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:50,225
on the way to my "I was a human
shield" support group.
119
00:05:50,227 --> 00:05:52,393
Am I ever
gonna live this down?
120
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:55,063
It happened,
like, ten minutes ago.
121
00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:58,233
Okay, let's move on.
122
00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:01,436
Oh, look, someone left
a coupon for free movie popcorn.
123
00:06:01,438 --> 00:06:04,839
Oh, I'd love to escape
to a movie after my--
124
00:06:04,841 --> 00:06:08,076
well, I'd just love
to escape.
125
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:10,578
How much are movies now,
like 200 bucks?
126
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:13,848
Unless you go with me,
in which case, it is free.
127
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:15,350
I'll take you tomorrow.
128
00:06:15,352 --> 00:06:17,352
I've been sneaking into theaters
since I was two.
129
00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:18,520
I crawled
into The Little Mermaid
130
00:06:18,522 --> 00:06:19,854
with a sack
full of Cheerios
131
00:06:19,856 --> 00:06:22,023
and a baby bottle
full of Diet Coke.
132
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,762
You know, Chestnut,
the only thing
133
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:30,131
that got me
through that robbery was you.
134
00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:32,467
I kept thinking,
"who will take care of you?"
135
00:06:32,469 --> 00:06:35,570
Because you can't count
on blondie selfish-pants
136
00:06:35,572 --> 00:06:38,306
who used me as a human shield
and then peed herself.
137
00:06:38,808 --> 00:06:40,975
Do not tell Chestnut
I peed myself.
138
00:06:40,977 --> 00:06:44,646
He's the only one from my circle
who still talks to me.
139
00:06:44,648 --> 00:06:48,416
As I was saying, Chestnut,
I would have taken a bullet
140
00:06:48,418 --> 00:06:50,084
for her,
but she put herself first,
141
00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:51,920
and that's okay.
It's fine.
142
00:06:51,922 --> 00:06:54,422
Max, I'm surprised
you're even affected by this.
143
00:06:54,424 --> 00:06:57,792
I mean, weren't you shot
as a baby?
144
00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,394
I feel
like you told me that.
145
00:06:59,396 --> 00:07:03,131
No, I told you I drank shots
as a baby.
146
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:06,167
My mother hated
to drink alone.
147
00:07:06,169 --> 00:07:07,669
Okay, what free movie
should we see?
148
00:07:07,671 --> 00:07:09,904
Maybe something
with a Fanning in it?
149
00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:12,340
- I'll see anything
unless it's in 3-D.
150
00:07:12,342 --> 00:07:14,275
I mean, if something's
gonna be flying at my face,
151
00:07:14,277 --> 00:07:16,844
I'd better get a free prime rib
out of it.
152
00:07:16,846 --> 00:07:19,480
So what do we do, Max?
What do we do?
153
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,316
Hide in the back alley
till the coast is clear,
154
00:07:21,318 --> 00:07:24,152
and when the door opens,
make a break for it?
155
00:07:24,154 --> 00:07:27,188
No, 'cause it's
not the 1940s.
156
00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:28,957
We just go right up
in the usher's face,
157
00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:31,593
make an excuse, and then
boldly walk with purpose.
158
00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:33,328
Okay, well,
just show me how.
159
00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:35,430
You can direct me.
I've done a lot of plays.
160
00:07:35,432 --> 00:07:37,498
I could do
my "Eliza Doolittle"
161
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,435
before she was civilized"
walk.
162
00:07:40,437 --> 00:07:43,504
Hello, governor.
163
00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:48,476
Wow, that was just ugly.
I wish I hadn't seen it.
164
00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:52,447
All right,
just watch me.
165
00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:56,818
Walk, walk, walk, hair flip,
walk, walk.
166
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,721
Walk, walk, walk, hair flip,
walk, walk.
167
00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:04,392
Good, but easy
on the hair flip, Willow Smith.
168
00:08:08,665 --> 00:08:11,132
Oh, hi, girls.
169
00:08:11,134 --> 00:08:13,334
Oh, I heard
what happened.
170
00:08:13,336 --> 00:08:16,170
Max, you got pushed in front
of a gun.
171
00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:19,240
You must be
very pissed.
172
00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:23,911
Caroline,
oh, what a nice outfit.
173
00:08:23,913 --> 00:08:28,082
On a scale of one to ten,
you're an eight.
174
00:08:28,084 --> 00:08:29,651
Get it?
Urinate.
175
00:08:35,091 --> 00:08:36,991
How do you even know
what happened?
176
00:08:36,993 --> 00:08:39,494
Oh, well, Oleg told me
when we were upstairs
177
00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:43,231
playing "hide the penis,"
178
00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:45,500
and we laughed so hard,
we almost peed ourselves,
179
00:08:45,502 --> 00:08:48,569
but we didn't
because we're not you.
180
00:08:50,439 --> 00:08:52,607
Actually, we're going
to a movie.
181
00:08:52,609 --> 00:08:54,909
Oh, well,
that's nice.
182
00:08:54,911 --> 00:08:58,112
I hope you're gonna wear
your big girl pants.
183
00:08:58,614 --> 00:09:00,948
- Max.
- What? It's silly and funny.
184
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:04,752
She's like
a Polish fart cushion.
185
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:06,120
Look, if it makes you
feel any better,
186
00:09:06,122 --> 00:09:07,922
there can't be
any pee jokes left.
187
00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:09,524
What are you seeing,
188
00:09:09,526 --> 00:09:12,360
something rated
"pee pee 13"?
189
00:09:15,198 --> 00:09:17,665
Fart cushions
are funny.
190
00:09:26,196 --> 00:09:27,830
- There's the guy.
- I'm getting a little nervous.
191
00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,565
I'm starting to sweat
like those people
192
00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:32,068
on Locked Up Abroad.
I don't know why.
193
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:33,936
I haven't swallowed
a heroin balloon.
194
00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:35,505
Okay, let's go.
195
00:09:35,507 --> 00:09:39,108
Pretend we're out of breath.
196
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:42,078
Out of breath,
not out of your mind.
197
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,913
Hey, sorry.
198
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,548
Can we just run back
into the theater for a second?
199
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:47,383
I left my iPhone in there,
and the prescription
200
00:09:47,385 --> 00:09:49,252
for her anti-seizure
medication's on it.
201
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:50,853
Yeah, which theater
were you in?
202
00:09:50,855 --> 00:09:52,722
Theatre five.
Went to the 11:15.
203
00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:54,390
Got out at 1:20.
A little long.
204
00:09:54,392 --> 00:09:56,459
Could've cut ten
from it.
205
00:10:00,764 --> 00:10:02,565
Wow, your walk with purpose
is getting
206
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,767
almost as impressive
as Han's "bang, bang,"
207
00:10:04,769 --> 00:10:06,803
you're in my house now,
bitch!"
208
00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:08,738
I know.
What about Han?
209
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:11,574
Before yesterday, we thought
he was 53 and unarmed.
210
00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:13,142
Guess we learn something new
about people every day.
211
00:10:13,144 --> 00:10:14,610
Yeah,
like having to learn
212
00:10:14,612 --> 00:10:16,813
that when you get nervous,
I'm disposable.
213
00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:20,783
That was very uncharacteristic
of me.
214
00:10:20,785 --> 00:10:24,220
Hi, um, Hallelujah.
215
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:25,721
Cool name,
by the way.
216
00:10:25,723 --> 00:10:27,223
How are you doing today,
Hallelujah?
217
00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:29,258
Bitter.
218
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,960
They wouldn't let me put
an exclamation point
219
00:10:30,962 --> 00:10:32,962
on my name tag.
220
00:10:32,964 --> 00:10:34,464
Um, is there any way
you could make
221
00:10:34,466 --> 00:10:35,798
a fresh batch
of popcorn?
222
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,800
I could,
but it takes ten minutes,
223
00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:39,168
and your show
starts in two.
224
00:10:39,170 --> 00:10:40,603
Actually,
it takes 31/2,
225
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:41,904
and I can miss
a few trailers.
226
00:10:41,906 --> 00:10:43,506
I used to work
at a Cineplex Five.
227
00:10:43,508 --> 00:10:47,310
Oh, so now you just know
everything about life?
228
00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:49,779
Come on,
the opening scene sets up
229
00:10:49,781 --> 00:10:51,514
where he gets
his superpowers from.
230
00:10:51,516 --> 00:10:55,751
Hey, Hallelujah here
is doing the best he can.
231
00:10:55,753 --> 00:10:57,186
I mean,
based on his name,
232
00:10:57,188 --> 00:10:59,589
his parents clearly had
bigger dreams for him,
233
00:10:59,591 --> 00:11:01,491
and it is not his fault
you guys showed up two minutes
234
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:02,992
before the show starts.
235
00:11:02,994 --> 00:11:05,128
Maybe next time,
you'll show up ten minutes early
236
00:11:05,130 --> 00:11:07,196
without the attitude
and the fidgety exhaling.
237
00:11:07,198 --> 00:11:08,631
You think Hallelujah
doesn't hear that?
238
00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:12,368
- He does.
- Sorry to be such a problem.
239
00:11:12,370 --> 00:11:13,870
We'll just take
whatever you've got ready.
240
00:11:13,872 --> 00:11:16,606
No, girl.
I got you.
241
00:11:16,608 --> 00:11:18,274
I'm gonna make you
a fresh batch.
242
00:11:18,276 --> 00:11:20,343
Hallelujah, could I have
some fresh too?
243
00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:22,945
You'll get the burnt ones
and like it, nerd.
244
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:29,051
Let's sit down here.
245
00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:30,453
Ooh, I'm not sticking
to the floor yet.
246
00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:32,788
Fancy theater.
247
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:34,290
Oh, hey, guys.
248
00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:35,892
Hope I wasn't too hard
on you out there.
249
00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:37,593
Nice cape.
250
00:11:37,695 --> 00:11:39,996
Thanks.
I had it in my backpack.
251
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:43,065
- I wasn't sure.
- Hmm.
252
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,204
You made
the right choice.
253
00:11:50,141 --> 00:11:51,507
She likes my cape.
254
00:11:51,509 --> 00:11:53,745
Technically, she likes
your sister's cape.
255
00:11:56,747 --> 00:11:59,315
Okay, so I don't know anything
about these superhero movies.
256
00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:01,717
It's a remake of a prequel
to a sequel?
257
00:12:01,719 --> 00:12:03,419
- I'm already confused.
- Okay.
258
00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:08,558
So there's always a nerdy guy...
259
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,493
And he's either been wronged
or bitten
260
00:12:10,495 --> 00:12:11,494
or exposed
to something toxic.
261
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,329
It gives him superpowers.
262
00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,164
He's in love with a pretty girl
who his rival tries to kill
263
00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,532
but then won't
because they have
264
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:17,667
to make another movie.
265
00:12:17,669 --> 00:12:19,068
Also, partial nudity,
266
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,503
product placement,
dope explosions,
267
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:23,072
and a killer score
by Hans Zimmer.
268
00:12:23,574 --> 00:12:25,208
Okay, your knowledge
of these superhero movies
269
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:28,277
is kind of turning me on
right now.
270
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,548
Wait.
Are you kidding me?
271
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,717
The hero has red hair
as a child?
272
00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:36,786
Um, weird,
'cause when he grows up,
273
00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:39,088
he has black hair.
274
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:40,890
Was there some sort
of chemical spill,
275
00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:43,926
which, by the way, wasn't
in the original comic book!
276
00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:45,595
- What am I, dumb?
- Okay.
277
00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:47,230
Okay, come on.
278
00:12:47,232 --> 00:12:48,564
Come on, let's go
to another movie.
279
00:12:48,566 --> 00:12:49,799
What are you talking about?
280
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:51,067
Well, you obviously
hate this.
281
00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:52,301
You're yelling
at the screen.
282
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:53,936
Yelling at the screen
is the best part
283
00:12:53,938 --> 00:12:55,605
of going to the movies,
and more white people
284
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:58,541
should learn that.
285
00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:03,579
Oh, wow, look at that.
286
00:13:03,581 --> 00:13:06,415
That car just exploded
in front of those two girls,
287
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:08,718
and one didn't use
the other's body
288
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,388
to block her
from the flying debris.
289
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,924
Are you ever
gonna let this go?
290
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:16,559
I don't know.
I mean, it's kind of a big deal.
291
00:13:16,561 --> 00:13:18,060
You put my life
in danger.
292
00:13:18,062 --> 00:13:20,997
Well, I've apologized
about it twice.
293
00:13:20,999 --> 00:13:22,565
I don't know
how much more I can do.
294
00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:28,271
Yeah, I could have died,
295
00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:30,773
but you apologized twice,
so I guess we're good.
296
00:13:32,409 --> 00:13:33,409
I don't
like this movie.
297
00:13:33,411 --> 00:13:35,411
It's violence
against women.
298
00:13:35,413 --> 00:13:37,480
Let's go see that
Katherine Heigl rom-com sequel.
299
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:40,750
Talk about violence
against women.
300
00:13:40,752 --> 00:13:43,152
I am gonna go spend some time
with Katie Heigl.
301
00:13:43,154 --> 00:13:44,654
At least she won't
make me feel guilty.
302
00:13:45,156 --> 00:13:46,289
See ya.
303
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:50,259
Enjoy three
Walking On Sunshine montages.
304
00:13:52,696 --> 00:13:55,298
I don't wanna go to a movie
by myself, and you're right.
305
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:57,366
I'm sorry.
I hate the way I acted.
306
00:13:57,368 --> 00:14:00,202
I'm a spoiled rich girl,
and I always put myself first,
307
00:14:00,204 --> 00:14:02,204
and I know that's something
you would never do.
308
00:14:02,706 --> 00:14:04,273
Shut up.
309
00:14:05,809 --> 00:14:08,844
Max,
I think I just saw Han.
310
00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:11,714
It is Han.
What's he doing here?
311
00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:13,449
Why is he sitting
all the way in the back?
312
00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:14,884
I don't know,
maybe he's afraid
313
00:14:14,886 --> 00:14:16,819
of blocking
absolutely no one's view.
314
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,124
And who is that guy and girl
he's sitting with?
315
00:14:22,626 --> 00:14:26,062
Is Han
in a threesome?
316
00:14:26,064 --> 00:14:28,130
Does he secretly
have game?
317
00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:30,232
Please.
The only game Han has
318
00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:32,301
is "One, two,
buckle my shoe."
319
00:14:34,237 --> 00:14:37,006
Wait, he's leaving,
320
00:14:37,008 --> 00:14:39,475
and so is the guy
he was sitting next to.
321
00:14:39,977 --> 00:14:42,578
Did Han just get
more interesting?
322
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,980
We have
to follow him.
323
00:14:46,182 --> 00:14:47,883
He can blast
a wall apart with his thoughts,
324
00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:49,251
but he can't get
out of handcuffs?
325
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:51,988
Even I could get
out of handcuffs!
326
00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:54,557
Have fun
being lied to.
327
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:56,158
You're right.
You're always right.
328
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,661
Are you seeing anyone?
329
00:14:58,663 --> 00:15:01,297
That was hard
to watch.
330
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,143
Why is he going to
the bathroom with that stranger?
331
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:15,212
Is Han
also a republican senator?
332
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:17,448
Usher.
333
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,824
Are all men's rooms
this depressing?
334
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,059
We are
such different people.
335
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,994
I was just gonna say
how nice it is.
336
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,030
I don't hear
sex sounds,
337
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:36,100
and he's not
on the changing table,
338
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,336
so maybe drugs
are involved.
339
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,738
You think Han's
an Asian drug dealer?
340
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,741
What's he selling,
crystal math?
341
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,076
Oh, look.
Han's coming.
342
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,877
- Aw, gross!
- No, no!
343
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:51,282
I meant
he's coming this way.
344
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:54,118
Hey, you're running.
Don't run, it's Han.
345
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,088
For him, every step we take
is like a 100-meter dash.
346
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,890
Sorry, you're the one
who doesn't want Han to see us.
347
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,126
I just don't want that kind
of relationship with him.
348
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,260
You mean the kind
of relationship
349
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:04,562
where you see someone
you know
350
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:05,896
at the movie theater
and say hello?
351
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,431
Yeah, I definitely
don't want that.
352
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,202
Ladies, may I
see your tickets, please?
353
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:14,271
Tickets?
Max, do you--
354
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:17,441
Can I see
your tickets, please?
355
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,077
I saw you
go into another theater.
356
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,546
Caroline?
357
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,216
Hi, honey.
358
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,118
Hello?
359
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,986
Honey,
I forgot my ticket.
360
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,287
He has my ticket.
361
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,156
Han, this nice usher man
thinks I snuck
362
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,725
into the theater,
so just show him the tickets.
363
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,295
Uh, uh--
364
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:39,630
You two are together?
365
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,333
- Yeah, why?
- Oh, it's nothing.
366
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,567
It's none
of my business,
367
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,436
but he just seems
too old for you.
368
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,106
- He's 29.
- What?
369
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,642
Uh, I'm gonna have
to see you
370
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,344
and your girlfriend's ticket.
371
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,180
Uh, I thought
I put the ticket in here.
372
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,682
Tickets. You put two tickets
in there, honey.
373
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,119
Um, okay.
374
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:05,589
I cannot find it.
Damn.
375
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,092
Sir, you know
that sneaking into a theater's
376
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,160
a felony, right?
377
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,696
It is?
378
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,599
Han, what's that face?
379
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,303
It's the same face I made
when I peed--
380
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,672
Oh, honey.
381
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:24,308
How will I live
with the shame?
382
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,976
Well, at least
your fanny pack
383
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,712
isn't the most embarrassing
thing about you any more.
384
00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:39,190
Well, well, well,
look who it is.
385
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,693
Hair flip and go.
386
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,129
I don't know what you're
doing, but it feels weird.
387
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,798
Now, look who's walk,
walk, walking with purpose
388
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,000
away from me again.
389
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,836
What?
It wasn't a big deal.
390
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,239
Really? 'Cause I went
to movie jail with Han.
391
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,341
- Cool.
- We have a mug shot.
392
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,043
We're a notorious
gangster couple now
393
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,377
down at the Cineplex.
394
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,214
That's right,
Han-nie and Clyde,
395
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,748
but you know what,
I'm fine.
396
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,017
I'm thrilled, actually,
because you walking away
397
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,419
gave me one thing.
398
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,689
An obstructed view
of my sweet, sweet ass?
399
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,757
No, the satisfaction
of knowing
400
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,559
that you are just
as selfish as me.
401
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,695
What a selfish thing to say.
402
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:21,565
You can walk,
walk, walk away from me, Max,
403
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:22,833
but you can't walk away
from knowing
404
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,101
that you
split the scene.
405
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,370
What? I thought you
were behind me,
406
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,239
and besides, we couldn't both
get caught.
407
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,607
Who would live
to tell the tale
408
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,275
of the great Caroline Channing,
the girl
409
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,910
who couldn't walk
fast enough?
410
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:36,013
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't turn this around.
411
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,449
Now, I see it,
the whole "Max" of it all.
412
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,184
When we got caught,
you only thought
413
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,785
about saving yourself,
414
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,687
and you weren't defending
poor Hallelujah.
415
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,890
You just wanted fresh popcorn
for yourself.
416
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,025
What can I say?
I guess you're on to me.
417
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,427
You said you'd take
a bullet for me.
418
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:52,029
You'd never take
a bullet for me.
419
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:54,565
Probably not.
No one ever takes a bullet.
420
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,267
It's just something people say
that they don't mean,
421
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,601
like, "how was your day?"
422
00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,504
Or, "we'll stop
if it hurts."
423
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:07,411
Wow, so this
is who we are, huh?
424
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,580
Two selfish girls
who always put ourselves
425
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:10,881
before everyone else
and are willing
426
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,216
to do anything
to survive?
427
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,285
Guess we are.
428
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,620
Man, we're gonna crush
the cupcake competition.
429
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:19,156
But, Max,
even though we're ruthless,
430
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,658
every now and then,
on our own behalf,
431
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,326
we do put ourselves second,
432
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,962
and I guess that's
what makes us best friends.
433
00:19:25,714 --> 00:19:27,264
I don't think
I've ever done that.
434
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,465
Yes, you have.
435
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:29,633
You let me stay
on your couch
436
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,468
when I had no place
to stay.
437
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,170
I guess I did.
438
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,907
And I gave you--
439
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,611
Go ahead.
440
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,980
Well, there must be something
where I didn't put myself first.
441
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,316
Let me know
when you find it.
442
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,754
Sophie,
just look at you.
443
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,957
You couldn't look
more scrumptious.
444
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,092
Oh,
maybe I could
445
00:19:55,094 --> 00:20:00,364
with a little chocolate
drizzled on me.
446
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,601
Oh, good,
there you are, Han.
447
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,504
I just have one question
that I have to ask you.
448
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,807
What is
your favorite musical?
449
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,343
Is it The Wiz?
450
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,180
Whiz, Max!
I found another one, right?
451
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,450
How do you even know
about this?
452
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:23,721
Oh, Oleg told me
while we were having phone sex.
453
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,457
And by phone sex, she means
we were using the phone
454
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:27,993
in the sex.
455
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,528
Don't worry, Han.
456
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:34,331
A lot of older men
can't control their bladder.
457
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,867
I am twenty-freaking-nine!
458
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,703
Ooh, what?
459
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,010
I'm humiliated, Max.
460
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,312
Hey, listen to me.
461
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,580
You didn't
sell Caroline out.
462
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,048
A lot of people
would have,
463
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,816
but you just stood there
like a man
464
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,318
and peed your pants.
465
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,720
That's true.
I did.
466
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,155
By the way, Han,
why were you
467
00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:59,590
at the movies in the middle
of the day?
468
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,091
Sometimes people bug me,
469
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,528
and I need
some time away.
470
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,929
You know what, Han?
471
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,097
You're cool.
472
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,399
We're gonna hang
sometime.
473
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:09,400
Not now,
not in a week,
474
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,869
but in the future.
475
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:14,275
Just sayin',
I got my eye on you.
476
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:25,780
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com