1
00:00:02,549 --> 00:00:04,149
In front of
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,184 --> 00:00:05,851
You know, I don't know
if Emily's gonna let
3
00:00:05,885 --> 00:00:07,586
Freddie play football.
I hope not.
4
00:00:07,621 --> 00:00:09,454
He's a tiny baby.
He'd get crushed out there.
5
00:00:09,488 --> 00:00:10,522
Hi, guys.
6
00:00:10,556 --> 00:00:12,190
Hey, boys.
7
00:00:12,224 --> 00:00:13,825
Why don't you go in the back
and see if you can jump
8
00:00:13,859 --> 00:00:17,094
from Chris's dresser to his bed.
9
00:00:17,129 --> 00:00:19,297
I have given up on being
a good parent.
10
00:00:19,332 --> 00:00:21,366
Marny's been at that conference
all week,
11
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,335
and I'm running out of ways
to entertain them.
12
00:00:23,369 --> 00:00:28,806
Uh-oh.
Somebody's got a leaky faucet.
13
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,675
There are napkins
inches away from you.
14
00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:35,011
Man, I am way past napkins.
15
00:00:35,046 --> 00:00:38,782
I'm a human napkin.
16
00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:40,317
I think you need
some time off, my friend,
17
00:00:40,352 --> 00:00:42,785
away from the kids.
Oh, will you watch them?
18
00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:44,186
Will I watch all four of them?
19
00:00:44,221 --> 00:00:46,823
No, never, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever.
20
00:00:46,857 --> 00:00:49,024
I will never do that, ever.
21
00:00:49,059 --> 00:00:50,526
Get Marny to do it.
22
00:00:50,561 --> 00:00:52,161
You're kidding, right?
23
00:00:52,195 --> 00:00:54,997
Marny has never had all
four boys for a whole day.
24
00:00:55,031 --> 00:00:57,666
She wouldn't know what to do.
Check this.
25
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:59,668
She once put an overnight diaper
26
00:00:59,702 --> 00:01:01,903
on one of the twins
during the day.
27
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:04,172
An overnight diaper
is way too absorbent
28
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:05,707
for the daytime.
29
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,814
I think you definitely need
some time off, man.
30
00:01:16,752 --> 00:01:19,854
♪ Why would you walk
when you can run? ♪
31
00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:21,422
♪ everybody's singin' ♪
32
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:24,224
♪ why would you walk
when you can run? ♪
33
00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:31,931
Risotto is served.
34
00:01:31,965 --> 00:01:33,800
Eww!
35
00:01:35,035 --> 00:01:36,335
Be polite.
36
00:01:36,370 --> 00:01:39,272
Eww.
37
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:41,608
That is much better.
38
00:01:41,642 --> 00:01:43,843
- Hi.
- Hey, Sheila.
39
00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:45,677
Oh, right. It's Sunday night,
40
00:01:45,712 --> 00:01:48,346
and all of you nice people
have dinner together.
41
00:01:48,381 --> 00:01:51,149
And Nick.
42
00:01:51,183 --> 00:01:54,119
Sheila, you should join us.
43
00:01:54,153 --> 00:01:57,823
Chris made Risotto,
so we just might order pizza.
44
00:01:57,857 --> 00:02:00,358
Oh, Sheila would love to,
but she can't.
45
00:02:00,393 --> 00:02:03,394
Van Helsing's closing in on her,
and there's no time.
46
00:02:05,697 --> 00:02:07,197
Chris.
47
00:02:07,232 --> 00:02:09,166
I was wondering
if you might be able
48
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,335
to help me pack up
my apartment on Sunday.
49
00:02:11,369 --> 00:02:12,703
- Oh, you're moving?
- Yeah.
50
00:02:12,738 --> 00:02:15,239
My aunt moved last week.
51
00:02:16,909 --> 00:02:20,343
She had a yard sale.
52
00:02:20,377 --> 00:02:22,913
I never know what
to say to her.
53
00:02:22,947 --> 00:02:25,381
Yeah, just a little closer
to here
54
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:26,883
to make it easier
to drop off Ernie.
55
00:02:26,918 --> 00:02:28,318
Sorry, Sheila, I'm busy.
56
00:02:28,352 --> 00:02:29,686
One of the senior partners
is retiring.
57
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,220
We're doing
a whole harbor cruise,
58
00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:32,823
there's like a Caribbean theme.
59
00:02:32,857 --> 00:02:34,156
Oh, ub40 is playing.
60
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:35,991
Mon.
61
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:38,828
- Don't do that.
- Okay.
62
00:02:38,862 --> 00:02:40,195
Okay.
Well, maybe a different day.
63
00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:41,330
All right.
Come on, little man.
64
00:02:41,364 --> 00:02:42,865
Come here.
Ooh.
65
00:02:42,899 --> 00:02:45,501
Oh, look at those cheeks.
I love these cheeks.
66
00:02:45,535 --> 00:02:47,035
Are you storing nuts
in these cheeks?
67
00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:50,438
How can she ask you
to pack up her stuff?
68
00:02:50,473 --> 00:02:53,007
Especially since that stuff
is your stuff
69
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:55,743
that she took from you
in the divorce.
70
00:02:55,778 --> 00:02:57,378
She didn't take it from me.
71
00:02:57,412 --> 00:02:59,681
I gave it up and opted
for the high road,
72
00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:01,182
so we could split
on agreeable terms.
73
00:03:01,216 --> 00:03:04,151
Ah! That is so annoying!
74
00:03:04,186 --> 00:03:08,388
Why can't you be a normal,
resentful divorced person?
75
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,256
Like your mother, Nick,
who crank calls your dad
76
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,258
once a day?
- Hmm.
77
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:15,195
Yeah, she can do so many voices.
78
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,030
Hey!
79
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,932
- Mom!
- Oh!
80
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,233
Hey, look who's back.
81
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,603
There are my babies.
82
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,937
Hey. Mwah.
83
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,238
Chris.
84
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,874
- What's for dinner?
- Risotto.
85
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,441
Oh.
86
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,712
Hey, honey,
how was the conference?
87
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,079
Oh, it was great.
88
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,649
The resort was nice.
Good golf course.
89
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:40,485
Oh, we went on a helicopter ride
at sunset.
90
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,953
You should try that.
91
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,254
Oh.
92
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:44,990
I scrubbed marker off the twins
93
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:47,458
for 2 1/2 hours at sunrise.
94
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:50,428
You should try that.
95
00:03:50,462 --> 00:03:52,430
Is everything okay?
96
00:03:52,464 --> 00:03:53,664
I'm fine.
97
00:03:53,698 --> 00:03:55,933
- Baby, I'm just tired.
- Oh.
98
00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:56,934
No, he's exhausted.
99
00:03:57,002 --> 00:03:58,402
And he needs a day off.
100
00:03:58,436 --> 00:03:59,770
He's given up.
101
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,271
This is a man
that is one step away
102
00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:05,275
from wearing a blanket
everywhere he goes.
103
00:04:05,309 --> 00:04:06,944
Well, no problem.
104
00:04:06,978 --> 00:04:09,479
You can have a day off.
Why didn't you tell me?
105
00:04:09,514 --> 00:04:11,113
Because you haven't had
all the boys
106
00:04:11,148 --> 00:04:12,415
since before the twins.
107
00:04:12,449 --> 00:04:15,718
And back then,
the TV was working.
108
00:04:15,753 --> 00:04:17,253
I know. I broke it.
109
00:04:17,287 --> 00:04:20,823
I'm sorry.
Let's not talk about it anymore.
110
00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:26,294
Gary, I can take care
of the kids, okay?
111
00:04:26,328 --> 00:04:29,330
Have your day off.
How about next Sunday?
112
00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:30,799
Done.
113
00:04:30,833 --> 00:04:33,501
Gentlemen, clear your calendars
114
00:04:33,536 --> 00:04:36,672
because next Sunday, I am off!
115
00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:41,976
Pizza's here!
116
00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:43,644
- Pizza!
- Hey...
117
00:04:43,679 --> 00:04:46,346
I made Risotto.
118
00:04:48,884 --> 00:04:50,551
And click.
119
00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:53,054
And this is what it
would look like
120
00:04:53,088 --> 00:04:55,957
if you and I
were conjoined twins.
121
00:04:57,392 --> 00:04:59,659
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Oh!
122
00:04:59,694 --> 00:05:01,294
There he is, free man!
All right.
123
00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:02,662
What are we gonna do?
124
00:05:02,697 --> 00:05:04,464
What aren't we going to do,
huh?
125
00:05:04,498 --> 00:05:07,366
First, we're gonna return these
bathing suits to Old Navy
126
00:05:07,401 --> 00:05:09,002
that I've had sitting around
forever.
127
00:05:09,036 --> 00:05:10,503
No. No, Gary.
128
00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:12,005
- Bad Gary.
- What?
129
00:05:12,039 --> 00:05:13,539
That's terrible.
You gotta think big.
130
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,373
How about we go
to the apple store
131
00:05:15,408 --> 00:05:18,877
and fiddle with stuff
till they ask us to leave?
132
00:05:18,912 --> 00:05:20,479
No, no. Wait.
Oh, I got it.
133
00:05:20,513 --> 00:05:22,581
The giants are at home tonight.
134
00:05:22,616 --> 00:05:25,383
Why don't we go to the game?
What? How?
135
00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:28,754
Chris has incredible tickets
on the 50-yard line.
136
00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:30,321
We're sitting right in front
of Eli Manning's mom.
137
00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:33,190
She offers us grapes
from her purse.
138
00:05:33,225 --> 00:05:34,993
What are you saying?
139
00:05:35,027 --> 00:05:36,594
I am saying this is gonna
be the greatest day off ever!
140
00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:38,529
Oh, my God!
141
00:05:38,563 --> 00:05:40,098
I didn't think I'd ever see
another football game again!
142
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,500
This is what I wish for
every time I hold my breath
143
00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:44,068
in a tunnel.
144
00:05:45,570 --> 00:05:47,037
Okay, actually, guys,
the thing is.
145
00:05:47,071 --> 00:05:48,772
I-I don't have the tickets
this weekend.
146
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,707
What?
What?
147
00:05:50,742 --> 00:05:52,208
Why does this keep on happening?
148
00:05:52,243 --> 00:05:53,376
You gotta get them back.
149
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,278
- I can't.
- You have to!
150
00:05:55,312 --> 00:05:56,713
It's Gary's day off.
151
00:05:56,748 --> 00:05:58,048
Look at him.
152
00:05:58,082 --> 00:05:59,449
He's dead inside.
- What?
153
00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:01,251
He's nothing.
He's barely a man.
154
00:06:01,285 --> 00:06:03,052
He's a husk.
155
00:06:03,086 --> 00:06:04,720
- I'm a husk?
- Yes!
156
00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,622
Whoever you gave them to,
you gotta get 'em back.
157
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,223
I can't get 'em back, okay?
158
00:06:08,258 --> 00:06:11,927
You have to get them back.
I'm a husk.
159
00:06:11,962 --> 00:06:15,131
Sheila got my season tickets
in the divorce.
160
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,567
Then you are gonna make
a trade with her.
161
00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:21,435
You're gonna give her
full custody of Ernie
162
00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:22,804
and Gary will give you
one of his kids,
163
00:06:22,838 --> 00:06:25,406
and then everybody wins.
164
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,911
I'll give you one of my kids
for a giants ticket.
165
00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:35,049
Look at my handsome boys.
166
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,584
Oh, I need to take a picture
for your dad.
167
00:06:37,618 --> 00:06:41,088
Okay.
Everybody do a nice smile.
168
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,392
A real smile.
169
00:06:45,426 --> 00:06:47,127
You're not a hostage
being forced
170
00:06:47,162 --> 00:06:49,296
to prove that you're okay.
171
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,664
- Come on.
- Hi.
172
00:06:51,699 --> 00:06:53,299
Hi.
173
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:56,069
Gary just wanted me
to stop by and check up on you,
174
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:57,737
see how you're surviving.
175
00:06:57,771 --> 00:06:59,939
Surviving? Please.
176
00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:01,640
This is gonna be fun.
177
00:07:01,675 --> 00:07:03,743
We're gonna make
a whole day of it.
178
00:07:03,777 --> 00:07:06,144
You know, have lunch,
go to a museum.
179
00:07:06,179 --> 00:07:09,181
Compared to working,
this is nothing.
180
00:07:09,215 --> 00:07:10,782
Really?
181
00:07:10,817 --> 00:07:11,917
'Cause I think being
with the kids all day
182
00:07:11,951 --> 00:07:13,185
is actually a lot of work.
183
00:07:13,219 --> 00:07:14,519
And I only have two.
184
00:07:14,553 --> 00:07:17,488
And I have a TV.
185
00:07:17,523 --> 00:07:20,792
And I still call my mom crying
once a week.
186
00:07:20,827 --> 00:07:23,260
No, Emily,
of course it's work, you know.
187
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:26,663
I'm just saying it's easier
than real work.
188
00:07:26,698 --> 00:07:30,334
Oh. Thank you
for rephrasing that.
189
00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:32,669
All I'm saying is every day
190
00:07:32,704 --> 00:07:35,806
I have 150 people
that rely on me.
191
00:07:35,841 --> 00:07:39,609
Today, I only have four.
This is easy.
192
00:07:39,643 --> 00:07:44,013
Mom, we're starving.
You haven't fed us yet.
193
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,815
I didn't?
194
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:48,483
Are you sure you don't want
any help?
195
00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:53,122
They're fasting.
196
00:07:53,156 --> 00:07:55,490
Yeah.
197
00:07:55,524 --> 00:07:58,827
We're all kind of spiritual now.
198
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,898
Do you have any food?
199
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,404
Okay, Nick,
elevator door opens,
200
00:08:10,438 --> 00:08:12,240
we walk into Sheila's,
we ask her nicely
201
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,641
for the tickets, during which
202
00:08:13,675 --> 00:08:14,876
Gary will flash her
his sad face.
203
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:17,245
Gary, do your sad face.
Perfect.
204
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,980
Nick, if you have anything
insulting to say about Sheila,
205
00:08:20,014 --> 00:08:22,015
get it out of your system now.
Thank you.
206
00:08:22,049 --> 00:08:23,884
Gary, you've never been here
before,
207
00:08:23,918 --> 00:08:25,318
so I don't want you
to be surprised,
208
00:08:25,352 --> 00:08:28,889
but Sheila lives in a web
in the corner.
209
00:08:28,923 --> 00:08:30,723
All right.
Good one.
210
00:08:32,359 --> 00:08:36,395
Hello?
211
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:38,730
Wow.
212
00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,732
This place is beautiful.
213
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:42,268
And you used to live here?
214
00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:44,270
Yes, I did.
Hi, old stuff.
215
00:08:44,304 --> 00:08:46,605
Daddy's here.
216
00:08:46,639 --> 00:08:48,207
Hey.
217
00:08:48,241 --> 00:08:49,974
Oh.
218
00:08:51,143 --> 00:08:52,710
Ernie is napping.
Okay.
219
00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:54,712
Now what was so important
that you couldn't
220
00:08:54,746 --> 00:08:56,247
ask me over the phone?
221
00:08:56,282 --> 00:09:00,718
Well, Gary... you
remember my friend, Gary, here.
222
00:09:00,752 --> 00:09:04,588
Gary.
- What? Oh.
223
00:09:04,623 --> 00:09:07,858
Uh, Gary has a rare day off
from taking care of four kids,
224
00:09:07,892 --> 00:09:09,259
and we were really hoping
we could use
225
00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:10,861
the giants tickets tonight.
226
00:09:10,895 --> 00:09:12,495
Sure.
What time does it start?
227
00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,531
- 8:00.
- Great.
228
00:09:14,565 --> 00:09:16,033
That'll give you
a full five hours
229
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:17,701
to help me pack my apartment.
230
00:09:17,735 --> 00:09:19,402
Hmm.
231
00:09:19,437 --> 00:09:22,504
- You've gotta be kidding.
- No.
232
00:09:22,539 --> 00:09:25,341
But Chris was when he said
he had that cruise this weekend.
233
00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:28,211
Ub40 is playing in helsinki.
234
00:09:28,245 --> 00:09:29,511
I looked it up...
235
00:09:29,546 --> 00:09:31,747
Mon.
236
00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:34,917
If you want the tickets,
237
00:09:34,952 --> 00:09:36,518
you'll help me pack
my apartment.
238
00:09:36,553 --> 00:09:38,053
Now there's bottles of water
in the fridge.
239
00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:39,721
Nick, if you have to use
the restroom,
240
00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:43,591
there's one downstairs
in the subway station.
241
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,193
It was a good call.
It was a good call, Chris.
242
00:09:45,228 --> 00:09:47,729
Don't... don't marry
the super cute girl
243
00:09:47,763 --> 00:09:49,264
who thinks you're the funniest
person in the world.
244
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,200
Marry the girl
that "challenges" you.
245
00:09:57,401 --> 00:09:59,408
See, this is what you get for
taking the high road, Chris.
246
00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:00,916
You get to move
all your old stuff
247
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:01,917
out of your old apartment
248
00:10:01,951 --> 00:10:03,151
to get your old tickets
249
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,920
from your old wife.
250
00:10:05,954 --> 00:10:08,889
We're doing this for Gary.
It's his day off.
251
00:10:09,991 --> 00:10:14,028
Hey.
I know this couch.
252
00:10:17,365 --> 00:10:19,899
This is my old pass-out couch.
253
00:10:19,934 --> 00:10:22,468
What have you done to it?
It's all button-y.
254
00:10:22,502 --> 00:10:25,638
After the divorce,
Sheila had it reupholstered.
255
00:10:25,672 --> 00:10:28,407
That is sick, man.
This is...
256
00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:30,610
this is the couch we had
when we were roommates.
257
00:10:30,644 --> 00:10:33,146
We have history on this couch.
258
00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:35,314
Do you know how many future
Mrs. Nick Thayers
259
00:10:35,349 --> 00:10:37,783
refused to hook up with me
on this couch?
260
00:10:37,817 --> 00:10:39,151
- Hmph.
- You know what?
261
00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:40,786
This is where I draw the line,
okay?
262
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:42,487
You have given her
too much stuff.
263
00:10:42,521 --> 00:10:43,989
We're taking this couch back.
264
00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:45,457
No, it's Sheila's.
265
00:10:45,491 --> 00:10:47,793
And might I remind you,
I took the high road.
266
00:10:47,827 --> 00:10:49,294
Oh, real... does she know that?
267
00:10:49,328 --> 00:10:51,829
- I think she does, yeah.
- What do I know?
268
00:10:51,864 --> 00:10:54,832
Besides the capital of Peru.
It's lima.
269
00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,267
Oh, you know.
270
00:10:56,301 --> 00:10:57,701
Just that you got all
of Chris's stuff
271
00:10:57,736 --> 00:10:59,470
because he took
the high road in the divorce.
272
00:10:59,504 --> 00:11:02,106
Not exactly sure
that's how it happened.
273
00:11:02,141 --> 00:11:03,340
Come on, Sheila.
274
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,842
I mean, you know
you got all of this
275
00:11:04,877 --> 00:11:06,377
because I didn't want
to drag things out
276
00:11:06,411 --> 00:11:08,611
arguing over who owns what,
you know.
277
00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:11,114
Or maybe because you know
I'm a better negotiator,
278
00:11:11,149 --> 00:11:13,549
and you would lose it all anyway
if we went head-to-head.
279
00:11:13,584 --> 00:11:15,152
Come on.
280
00:11:15,186 --> 00:11:19,522
You are not a better negotiator.
Oh, no?
281
00:11:19,556 --> 00:11:24,226
I have you packing
all my stuff up on a Sunday.
282
00:11:24,261 --> 00:11:25,727
I'm sorry, Chris,
could you hear all the way
283
00:11:25,762 --> 00:11:27,696
up there on the high road?
284
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,699
Okay, I'm gonna go grab Ernie
a sweater.
285
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,301
Mrs. Stevenson upstairs
is hosting
286
00:11:32,335 --> 00:11:34,569
a little farewell get-together
in my honor.
287
00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:36,172
She's such a sweet lady.
288
00:11:36,206 --> 00:11:39,874
I helped her sue her children.
289
00:11:39,942 --> 00:11:43,077
Okay. High road's closed.
We're taking the couch.
290
00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:44,813
That's what I'm talking about!
291
00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:46,647
No, you can't!
292
00:11:46,682 --> 00:11:48,649
Because she'll catch you idiots,
keep the tickets,
293
00:11:48,684 --> 00:11:50,084
and then the highlight
of my day off
294
00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:52,887
becomes learning
the capital of Peru.
295
00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:56,356
How can you think about
yourself right now?
296
00:11:56,390 --> 00:11:59,492
I once cried because
I had no shoes...
297
00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:02,896
Until I met a man with no feet.
298
00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:06,333
What the hell does that mean?
299
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,767
It doesn't matter
what it means.
300
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:10,570
It's... it's profound,
and it applies.
301
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:13,272
Okay.
I'll see you guys later.
302
00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:15,441
Oh, and Gary.
- Hmm?
303
00:12:15,475 --> 00:12:17,877
You packed all my
madame Alexander dolls, right?
304
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,079
Oh, yes I did.
All 40 of them.
305
00:12:20,113 --> 00:12:23,049
I'm gonna have nightmares
for a month.
306
00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:25,017
Well, obviously,
you didn't understand
307
00:12:25,052 --> 00:12:26,385
how valuable they are,
308
00:12:26,419 --> 00:12:28,619
I'm gonna need you
to repack them,
309
00:12:28,654 --> 00:12:30,722
like, one per box.
310
00:12:30,756 --> 00:12:33,558
Thanks.
311
00:12:35,594 --> 00:12:36,928
Let's take this damn couch.
312
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,596
Yes.
313
00:12:39,999 --> 00:12:45,435
Which one of you threw
that juice?
314
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:47,905
I will find out.
315
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:53,610
Clark! Yoda!
Let's go.
316
00:12:57,182 --> 00:12:59,049
Why are you wearing those?
317
00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:02,085
Mom, we're astronauts.
318
00:13:02,119 --> 00:13:04,320
Emily could be down any second.
319
00:13:04,355 --> 00:13:06,722
So we gotta get out
of this apartment right now.
320
00:13:06,757 --> 00:13:08,758
You look flustered.
321
00:13:11,295 --> 00:13:13,662
Come on.
322
00:13:13,697 --> 00:13:15,531
Okay, we'll take the couch
to Chris's, drop it off,
323
00:13:15,565 --> 00:13:17,332
come right back here,
get those tickets,
324
00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:18,600
get to the giants game.
325
00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:19,634
- Easy.
- Yeah.
326
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,003
All right.
327
00:13:24,207 --> 00:13:26,341
Why is this thing so heavy?
328
00:13:26,376 --> 00:13:27,776
It's a pullout couch.
329
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:29,144
- This is a pullout couch?
- Yeah.
330
00:13:29,178 --> 00:13:30,812
I passed out on this thing
for years.
331
00:13:30,846 --> 00:13:32,646
How come you never told me
this was a pullout couch?
332
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:37,651
I was embarrassed.
I didn't have a sheet for it.
333
00:13:37,685 --> 00:13:39,420
Hey, man,
this thing isn't gonna fit.
334
00:13:39,454 --> 00:13:40,687
Oh, oh, right.
335
00:13:40,722 --> 00:13:41,956
We went through the window.
Here.
336
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:43,657
- Come on, come on.
- Okay, okay.
337
00:13:43,691 --> 00:13:45,126
Then, you know what?
It's gonna go out the window.
338
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,427
So Gary, head downstairs,
339
00:13:46,461 --> 00:13:47,528
try and flag down a van cab,
okay?
340
00:13:47,562 --> 00:13:48,929
We'll put it out the window,
341
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:54,534
Chris, did you happen to lose
any rope in the divorce?
342
00:13:54,568 --> 00:13:56,602
Any rope?
343
00:13:56,637 --> 00:14:00,373
Try all my rope.
344
00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:02,642
Almost there.
345
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,176
God, my arms are spent.
346
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,677
Why did I try and do
that chin-up
347
00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:07,479
on the construction scaffolding
earlier?
348
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,350
Oh, she's here.
349
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:14,686
Gary, watch out!
350
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:19,024
Almost died!
351
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,692
That was fast.
How was the Stevenson party?
352
00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:23,861
Oh, turns out it wasn't
a farewell party.
353
00:14:23,895 --> 00:14:27,631
It was a pyramid scheme
to sell me a yogurt franchise.
354
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:32,170
Wow, look what you
guys got done.
355
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,704
Thank you.
356
00:14:33,738 --> 00:14:35,006
Well, you get a lot done
357
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,841
when you do it with a smile.
358
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:38,976
Guys!
359
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:40,743
What are you doing up there?
360
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:41,911
Oh, is Gary outside?
361
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:43,813
Yeah, we sent him outside
362
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:46,383
'cause he was sweating so much
363
00:14:46,417 --> 00:14:48,418
and steaming up the room
364
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:52,188
and warping your law books.
365
00:14:52,222 --> 00:14:53,555
Tell him to wait.
366
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:54,556
I want to give him
the tickets myself
367
00:14:55,959 --> 00:14:57,159
- Couch!
- Okay.
368
00:14:57,194 --> 00:14:59,528
All right,
369
00:14:59,562 --> 00:15:00,896
- ah!
- What?
370
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:03,665
What are you doing?
371
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,901
Oh, Gary.
There you are.
372
00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:08,103
- Hey, Sheila.
- Yeah.
373
00:15:09,105 --> 00:15:10,171
Uhoh.
Hey!
374
00:15:10,206 --> 00:15:11,373
Sheila.
375
00:15:11,407 --> 00:15:12,707
Wow, those are beautiful.
376
00:15:12,741 --> 00:15:15,576
Where did you get
those shoes from?
377
00:15:15,611 --> 00:15:16,943
That's a great story.
378
00:15:16,978 --> 00:15:18,412
I saw them at Bergdorf's.
379
00:15:18,446 --> 00:15:20,114
- No.
- Yeah.
380
00:15:20,148 --> 00:15:21,848
Really?
381
00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:24,251
- Oh, God...
382
00:15:24,285 --> 00:15:26,753
to Connecticut
to the outlet store.
383
00:15:26,787 --> 00:15:29,756
Of course, it was closed by then
so I got a hotel.
384
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,892
And anyway, now I always wonder,
do I love these shoes
385
00:15:32,926 --> 00:15:34,260
because they were hard to get
386
00:15:34,294 --> 00:15:36,062
or do I just love them?
387
00:15:36,096 --> 00:15:38,797
Love them, obviously.
388
00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:39,932
Shoes.
389
00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:42,568
Anyway, here's the tickets.
390
00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:44,203
- Oh.
- Have fun.
391
00:15:44,238 --> 00:15:46,039
- Oh... hey.
- Aw.
392
00:15:46,073 --> 00:15:47,940
Thank you, Sheila.
Thank you.
393
00:15:47,974 --> 00:15:50,275
Thank you. All right,
let's just go back in.
394
00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:51,709
- All right.
- Okay, bye.
395
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:53,778
Uhhuh, bye.
396
00:15:54,813 --> 00:15:57,249
Guys, I got the tickets!
397
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,921
Couch!
398
00:16:07,076 --> 00:16:08,780
I'm going to a football game.
399
00:16:08,944 --> 00:16:10,243
I haven't been
to a football game
400
00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:12,112
since the Houston Oilers
existed.
401
00:16:12,146 --> 00:16:14,748
Warren moon!
Warren moon!
402
00:16:14,783 --> 00:16:16,248
Also yell that
we got our couch back.
403
00:16:16,283 --> 00:16:18,585
Oh, and they got
their couch back!
404
00:16:18,619 --> 00:16:20,787
And that the high road
is for chumps.
405
00:16:20,821 --> 00:16:23,255
Also, Gary, seat belt.
406
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:25,959
Hey, honey.
407
00:16:25,993 --> 00:16:28,094
Guess who's going
to the football game tonight?
408
00:16:28,128 --> 00:16:30,329
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
409
00:16:30,363 --> 00:16:32,598
Hey, what's our medical
insurance I.D. Number?
410
00:16:36,002 --> 00:16:38,470
Oh, it's j76468.
Wait. What happened.
411
00:16:38,504 --> 00:16:41,139
Nothing.
Clark is having stomach pains.
412
00:16:41,173 --> 00:16:43,775
We're at the emergency room.
The emergency room?
413
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:46,612
It's fine.
I have it under control.
414
00:16:46,646 --> 00:16:47,979
Go have fun at your game.
415
00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:50,214
- You sure?
- I'm sure.
416
00:16:53,852 --> 00:16:57,321
Hey, can you turn the cab
around, please?
417
00:16:57,355 --> 00:17:02,459
Hey, change of plans!
I'm going to the emergency room!
418
00:17:04,294 --> 00:17:05,662
Oh, hey, hey!
419
00:17:05,696 --> 00:17:07,797
- What are you guys doing here?
- What happened?
420
00:17:07,832 --> 00:17:12,636
I think Clark has
Crohn's disease.
421
00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:15,839
Wait.
Did you look at WebMD?
422
00:17:15,873 --> 00:17:17,573
You cannot consult the Internet.
423
00:17:17,608 --> 00:17:20,308
The Internet always leads
to Crohn's disease.
424
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:23,178
Son, look at me.
425
00:17:23,212 --> 00:17:24,279
What did you eat?
426
00:17:24,313 --> 00:17:26,148
Grape jelly.
427
00:17:26,182 --> 00:17:27,816
How much?
428
00:17:27,851 --> 00:17:29,652
All of it.
429
00:17:29,686 --> 00:17:32,921
- What?
- She forgot to feed me.
430
00:17:32,956 --> 00:17:36,590
I tried!
They didn't want anything.
431
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:37,992
And then Robbie...
432
00:17:38,027 --> 00:17:40,628
he crapped all the way up
to his neck.
433
00:17:42,031 --> 00:17:43,798
And I got distracted.
434
00:17:43,832 --> 00:17:45,533
Why didn't you call Emily?
435
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:48,870
Because I wanted to prove
I could do it myself.
436
00:17:48,904 --> 00:17:52,706
I'm sorry, baby.
Can you still make your game?
437
00:17:52,707 --> 00:17:54,841
Yes, I mean, you know,
I think we can
438
00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:55,842
still make the last quarter.
439
00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:57,343
Right?
Okay.
440
00:17:57,378 --> 00:17:59,279
Come on, son.
You're gonna be all right.
441
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:00,847
All right, big boy?
442
00:18:00,882 --> 00:18:04,617
- Ooh!
- Ahh!
443
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:06,853
That is grape jelly, all right.
444
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:08,487
Look, I guess that's that.
445
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,056
No. No,
this is your day off.
446
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,857
We have come too far
to stop now, okay?
447
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:16,062
Yup. Here.
Put this on.
448
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,997
I'll look ridiculous.
449
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,364
No more ridiculous
than someone wearing
450
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,500
loafers to a football game.
451
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:25,136
You guys talking about me,
right?
452
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,740
Thank you so much for helping
me get the kids down.
453
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,408
I wish you called me earlier.
454
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:34,713
The Internet always leads
to Crohn's disease.
455
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,881
Emily, I am sorry.
456
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,184
This is work.
457
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,885
I couldn't even get them fed
and to a museum.
458
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,688
I'm not celebrating
mother's day anymore.
459
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:46,356
Nope.
460
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:48,558
I do not deserve
the last-minute gifts
461
00:18:48,593 --> 00:18:50,360
purchased at CVS.
462
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:54,397
Hey, you got four kids
to the emergency room
463
00:18:54,432 --> 00:18:55,765
all by yourself.
464
00:18:55,799 --> 00:18:57,399
Yeah.
465
00:18:57,434 --> 00:19:00,269
And back.
466
00:19:00,303 --> 00:19:02,404
Yeah.
467
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:03,840
Wow.
468
00:19:03,874 --> 00:19:05,208
Hey, boys.
469
00:19:05,242 --> 00:19:09,045
Turns out you do have
a good mom.
470
00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:10,046
Great.
471
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,580
Can you feed us dinner?
472
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:17,352
Right.
Dinner.
473
00:19:17,386 --> 00:19:20,655
Do you have any food?
474
00:19:22,992 --> 00:19:25,761
That was the best ten minutes
of any game
475
00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:28,395
I've ever seen.
476
00:19:28,429 --> 00:19:30,231
Oh, and for those of us
not wearing pants,
477
00:19:30,265 --> 00:19:33,600
also the coldest ten minutes.
478
00:19:33,635 --> 00:19:35,435
Anybody want another beer?
479
00:19:35,470 --> 00:19:36,937
Nah.
480
00:19:36,972 --> 00:19:39,073
You know what?
I think I'm gonna head home.
481
00:19:39,107 --> 00:19:40,875
Gary, you still got, like,
two hours
482
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:42,276
left on your day off.
483
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:45,044
You know, honestly,
I just needed
484
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:46,813
time away from my kids
to miss them.
485
00:19:46,847 --> 00:19:51,251
And I miss them.
486
00:19:51,285 --> 00:19:52,786
And I miss my pants.
487
00:19:56,523 --> 00:19:57,991
I forgot that unless
you're super drunk,
488
00:19:58,025 --> 00:20:00,959
that thing kills your back.
489
00:20:00,994 --> 00:20:02,727
You know, I don't know, Nick.
490
00:20:02,762 --> 00:20:05,597
I don't really think
it fits in here.
491
00:20:05,631 --> 00:20:07,166
Yeah.
492
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,233
We're gonna have to throw out
all your stuff
493
00:20:08,268 --> 00:20:10,969
and rebuild around the couch.
494
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:15,740
No, I mean, I don't think the
couch fits in my life anymore.
495
00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:17,474
I don't want it.
496
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,677
You know,
you got me all worked up,
497
00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:21,946
but I didn't take the high road
for Sheila.
498
00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:23,447
I took it for me and Ernie
499
00:20:23,481 --> 00:20:25,416
because I want us
to be able to move on.
500
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:28,286
I'm not resentful, Nick.
I'm over my divorce.
501
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,922
And it'd really help me out
502
00:20:30,956 --> 00:20:33,456
if you got over my divorce too.
503
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:38,461
I will try
and get over your divorce.
504
00:20:38,495 --> 00:20:41,198
But I cannot be responsible
for any crank phone calls
505
00:20:41,232 --> 00:20:42,833
that my mom makes.
506
00:20:51,525 --> 00:20:52,792
- Hi.
- Oh, hey. That was fast.
507
00:20:52,827 --> 00:20:54,027
You just called
a minute ago saying
508
00:20:54,062 --> 00:20:55,028
you were leaving your place.
Yeah.
509
00:20:55,063 --> 00:20:56,263
My new place is nearby.
510
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,864
I take a left out my apartment,
511
00:20:58,898 --> 00:21:00,166
take the elevator down
eight floors.
512
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,633
What?
513
00:21:01,668 --> 00:21:05,271
I moved into the building.
Surprise!
514
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,040
It's gonna be so much easier
for Ernie.
515
00:21:08,075 --> 00:21:11,143
- This building?
- This building.
516
00:21:11,178 --> 00:21:14,545
- My building?
- Our building now.
517
00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:15,947
And I thought about what
you said.
518
00:21:15,982 --> 00:21:18,850
And I want to take the high
road too.
519
00:21:18,884 --> 00:21:21,353
So you can have
your season tickets.
520
00:21:21,387 --> 00:21:22,354
- Oh.
- Great.
521
00:21:22,388 --> 00:21:23,955
We stole your couch.
522
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:27,158
It's up on the roof
if you want to get it.
523
00:21:27,193 --> 00:21:29,361
That whole thing about getting
over your divorce,
524
00:21:29,395 --> 00:21:32,064
I think I'm gonna need
some more time on that.
525
00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:33,719
== sync, corrected by Martzy ==
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