♪ So Come Walk The Night ♪
♪ Come Fly By Day ♪
♪ Something Is Sweeter ♪
♪ 'cause We Met Along The Way ♪
♪ Moonlighting Strangers ♪
♪ Who Just Met On The Way ♪
Woman: * Wake Up, Wake Up, You Sleepyhead *
♪ Get Up, Get Up, Get Out Of Bed ♪
♪ Cheer Up, Cheer Up, The Sun Is Red ♪
♪ Live, Love, Laugh And Be Happy ♪
♪ What If I've Been Blue? Now I'm Walking Through Fields ♪
♪ Of Flowers ♪
♪ Rain May Glisten, And Still I Listen ♪
♪ For Hours And Hours ♪
♪ I'm Just A Kid Again, I'm Just A Kid Again ♪
♪ Singing A Song ♪
Agnes: When The Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbing Along *
♪ Along ♪
Hello, Agnes. It's Me--Maddie.
Miss Hayes!
Just Calling To Say Hi.
Hi!
Hi. Not Much Happening This End.
Actually, I Do Have Some News.
I Just Found Out I'm Pregnant.
A Baby?
I Had To Tell Somebody.
A Baby?
I Just Wasn't Sure Who That Someone Should Be.
Then I Thought Of You.
A Baby?
Makes Sense, Right?
I Mean, That's The Way Nature's Supposed To Work.
Besides, My Biological Clock Is Ticking.
Agnes.
You're The Only Person I've Told,
And You Have To Promise Not To Tell Anyone.
Not Even Mr. Addison?
Not Even Mr. Addison. Especially Not Mr. Addison.
Ok.
Well, I Guess That's All My News,
So I Guess I'll Say--
[Beep]
A Baby!
Wow.
Agnes, Thank God You've Come!
I've Been Here Since 4 A.M.
On The Off Chance You'd Come In Early
To Water The Ferns.
Agnes, I Owe You And Macgilicuddy An Apology
For My Behavior Yesterday.
You Were Right. The Only Thing I Cared About
was Old Numero Uno, Herbert Quentin Viola.
Last Night, I Found Myself Up To My Neck In Hot Water,
Cornea To Cornea With Temptation,
The Devil With The Blue Dress On.
Actually, Her Dress Was Off,
But Be That As It May,
When I Looked Into Those Tinted Contacts,
Did I See Warmth, Compassion, Love?
No.
I Saw A Selfish, Gluttonous Fiend--
My Own Reflection.
Can You Ever Find It In Your Heart
To Forgive Me?
Agnes.
Huh?
Haven't You Heard Anything I've Said?
Something About Mitch Ryder
And The Detroit Wheels?
Agnes, You're Flushed.
Is Something Wrong?
Uh-Uh. No Way.
You Can Whip Me, Beat Me, Keelhaul Me.
It's No Use, Herbert. The Secret Dies With Me.
What Secret?
Oh, No, You Don't. If Anyone Ever Found Out,
Well, It Would Be Awful, And It Wouldn't Be Fair.
Fair To Whom?
The Love Child, That's Who!
Agnes, What Is This Nonsense?
Nonsense? Nonsense?
You Men Make Me Sick.
Do You Have To Carry The Baby Around For Months?
Do You Have To Go Through The Agony Of Childbirth?
No. I Do. I'm The One.
Baby?
Macgilicuddy.
I Should Have Known.
Laying That Sob Story On You About His Wife.
Slinking Off With You After Work.
And On Top Of All That,
His Duck Is In My Oven.
Macgilicuddy?
Ohh! Oh, That...
One-Eyed Jack,
That Lucky Pierre.
This Isn't Macgilicuddy's Baby.
I Don't Think.
Agnes, How Many Men Have You Been With?
Me?
I'm Not The One Who's Pregnant.
You're Not?
No. Miss Hay--
Miss Hayes?
Miss Hayes Is Pregnant?
I Wasn't Supposed To Say Anything.
You Can't Tell A Soul.
Miss Hayes Is Having A Ba--
Cross Your Heart And Hope To Die?
Shouldn't Eat Garlic
First Thing In The Morning, Bert.
Oh, Mr. Addison--
You Crossed Your Heart.
Is This The Face Of A Man Who'll Spill The Beans
Once He's Given His Word?
I'm Just Going In There
And Update Mr. Addison On The Ensalmo Case.
This Secret Goes With Me To The Organ Bank.
Herbert Viola,
If You Breathe A Word Of This To Anyone,
You're Going To Be At That Organ Bank
A Lot Sooner Than You Bargained For.
[Knock On Door]
Come In.
Good Morning, Sir.
Mind If I Speak With You For A Second?
Gab Away.
This Wouldn't Happen To Be About
Our Little Kama Sutra Convention
Last Night, Would It?
Well, Sort Of, Sir.
That's What Happens
When You Leave The Ball Game
In The Middle Of The Seventh Inning.
You Got To Wait Till The Next Morning
To Get The Play-By-Play.
Yeah.
I Take It You Stayed For The Whole Game?
All 19 Innings.
You're An Animal, Sir.
But Did You Ever Think About, Uh...
Responsibility, Commitment, Growing Up?
I Mean, I've Got This Little Voice Inside
That Keeps Nagging Me.
If You Want To Drown It Out,
Turn Up The Music.
Sir, I Want To, Sometimes,
But Then Again, I Can't Deny The Fact
That Agnes Is The Right Woman For--
The Only Woman For Me.
You Know What I Mean, Sir?
A Woman's Got To Be More
Than Just A Favorite Chair, Bert.
I Guess Maybe I'd Better Get Back To Work.
Uh, But Suppose Someone--
Suppose Me.
Suppose That, Although I Didn't Realize It
At The Time,
A Woman I Was Dating Was Expecting My Baby.
Now, I'd Want To Know If She Was Pregnant.
Wouldn't You?
Agnes?
No. This Has Nothing To Do With Agnes.
Who, Then? Somebody I Know?
It's Fair To Say That You Have
A More Than Nodding Acquaintance
With The Individual.
A Coworker?
Uh, I Don't Know Really If I Can Say, Sir.
I Mean, It's A Very Delicate Subject.
Promises Have Been Made, Oaths Taken.
I Understand, But As Administrator
Of Our Health Plan,
It Is My Duty To Care For The Well-Being
Of Each Member Of Our Blue Moon Family.
Out With It.
I Don't Know If I'm At Liberty To Say, Sir.
Bert, This Is No Time To Stand On Principle.
If You're Playing Taps
Because Some Squaw's Carrying Your Papoose--
Mine, Sir? No, Sir.
Yours, Sir.
What Are You Talking About?
I Haven't Knocked Anybody Up.
Not Just Anybody, Sir.
You Knocked Up The Boss.
What?
Please Don't Be Angry
With Me, Mr. Addison. Agnes Swore Me--
Agnes Knows?
She Is Going To Smear Me With Jam
And Bury Me In An Anthill
If She Finds Out I've Spilled My Guts.
Miss Hayes Is Having A Baby?
Our Miss Hayes?
I Just Thought You Should Know, Sir.
Thanks, Bert.
I've Got To Catch A Plane.
No Problem, Sir. I'm Here.
24 Hours A Day,
And, Mr. Addison, I Faithfully Pledge
To Execute My Duties--
Just Make Sure The Trash Gets Taken Out, Bert.
I'll Bag It And Stack It Myself, Sir.
Oh, Mr. Addison.
About Miss Hayes.
I Hope Congratulations Are Still In Order.
Ahem.
[Ring]
Hello.
How Long Have You Known?
You Were Going To Tell Me, Weren't You?
I Mean, That You're, Um...
That You're Pregnant?
I'm Really Not Ready
To Have This Conversation.
Well, I'm Getting On The Next Plane To Chicago.
No, Please Don't. Please--
[Dial Tone]
[Woman Laughs]
Young Lady...
Is This A Personal Call
We Are Making On Company Time?
Hello. To What Area Code Am I Speaking?
[Dial Tone]
That Better Not Have Been Long Distance.
Agnes: Herbert Quentin Viola.
How Could You?
Well, Personal Calls On Company Time
Are A Huge Drain On Corporate Resources.
You Swore An Oath, Gave Me Your Word.
I Took You Into My Confidence,
And How Did You Repay My Trust, Huh?
What Are You So Upset About?
You Know Very Well Why I'm Upset.
Mr. Addison Took Off Like A Bat Out Of Heck,
And You And I Both Know
What He Was Flapping His Wings About.
Perhaps He Had An Urgent Appointment.
Or Maybe Your Big Fat Yap
Isn't The Only Thing You Can't Keep Zipped.
May I Remind You That You Are Addressing
The Acting Supervisor Of Blue Moon Investigations?
Yeah, Well, Get Your Acting Supervisor's
Butt In Here.
Have You Lost Your Mind?
Mr. Addison Left Me In Control Of This Office.
i Am The Capo Del Tutti Capi
Around Here.
Well, Listen To Me, Mr. Tutti-Frutti.
I Took You At Your Word,
But Your Word Isn't Worth The Spit It's Spoken With.
You Just Had To Tell Mr. Addison
About The Baby.
Do You Really Think So Little Of Me?
That I'm Some Kind Of Two-Timing,
Duplicitous Weasel?
Look Me In The Eyes And Tell Me
You Didn't Go Into His Office
And Drool A Whole Bibful About The Baby.
Ok, I Told Him,
But He Would Have Found Out
Sooner Or Later Anyway.
Mr. Addison Is One Of The Finest
Investigative Minds Of His Generation.
Oh, Agnes.
I Didn't Want To Betray Your Confidence.
I Hated It, But I Had To Do It--
For His Own Good, For Miss Hayes' Own Good.
Hell, For The Baby's Own Good.
You Know Mr. Addison, The Well-Tailored Executive.
I Have Been Privy To The After-Hours Addison,
And I Could Not Stand By
And Watch Him Sow His Wild Oats
When He Already Has A Bumper Crop In Chicago.
Ok, Fine. Hate Me If You Want To.
But From Where I Was Standing,
I Had A Moral Obligation To Do What I Did,
And If I'm Ever Confronted With The Same Dilemma Again,
I Can Assure You That
I Wouldn't Do Anything Different.
I Don't Hate You.
I'll Just Never Be Able To Trust You,
And Miss Hayes Will Never Be Able
To Trust Me.
She Didn't Tell Mr. Addison.
She Didn't Even Tell Her Parents.
She Told Me. You've Ruined That.
Agnes, I Am Truly Sorry, But What's Done Is Done.
It'll Blow Over.
I'll Bet In A Week,
The Two Of Us Will Look Back On This
And Have A Good Chuckle.
Ok, A Month. 6 Weeks, Tops.
I Mean, We Are Not The Kind Of People
Who Are Going To Allow An Honest Difference Of Opinion
To Come Between Us.
You Can Count On It.
Oh, Agnes...
I Hate Arguing With You...
But I Must Confess That There Is A Part Of Me
That Always Looks Forward To Making Up.
What Do You Say, Tonight,
You And Me Curl Up
With A Cold Bottle Of Champagne
And Keep Each Other Warm?
You Can Forget About Tonight,
Tomorrow Night,
And Every Other Night.
From Now On, I've Got My Anger
To Keep Me Warm.
Announcer: May I Have Your Attention, Please?
Hi. I Need To Get On Flight 88 To Chicago.
I'm Sorry, Sir.
That Flight Is All Filled Up.
I Can Put You On Stand-By If You Like.
Is That The Best You Can Do?
I'm Afraid So.
Don't Bother.
I'll Just Have To Find
Something Else To Do This Episode.
Kentucky's Finest. Make It A Double.
And Don't Tell Me
How Early It Is In The Morning.
Have You Ever Noticed How These Airport Bars
Look The Same Everywhere You Go?
I Mean, Look. It's The Same Paneling,
Same, Uh, Carpeting.
Looks Like The Same Bartender.
Hey, Huntley, Zip It.
You Know, I Took A Wrong Turn
Into The Booze Myself A Few Years Ago.
A Problem With A Lady.
Yeah, There's Always A Lady
In There Somewhere.
Yeah.
She's Having A Baby, Very Possibly Mine,
And I Can't Even Get A Flight Out
Of This Damn Place
So I Can Go Throw Pebbles At Her Window.
I'd Trade Places With Anybody In This Bar.
Why Don't You Raise A Little Hell?
Pick Up The Phone And Call The Airline.
Ask For The Supervisor.
Better Yet, Go To The Chairman Of The Board
And Read Him The Riot Act.
Look, I Know What You're Afraid Of.
You're Afraid You Don't Know What To Say To Her
When She Does Come To The Window.
I Know Exactly What I'm Going To Say To Her.
Yeah?
Well, Then Why Are You Marinating Yourself
In Ethanol, Huh?
Because...
It's Easier.
I Could Sit Here,
Run My Credit Card Up To The Limit,
Stumble Out Of Here,
And Fall Into A Trash Bin
For The Next 20 Years.
Yeah. Then You Wake Up,
And You Hate Yourself
Because It's Too Late
To Throw Those Pebbles At That Window.
Excuse Me.
Um, Another Soda For My Associate Here.
Really Like To Watch
Those Big Guys Take Off, Huh?
Look At That.
Watch Them Slip Off
Those Surly Bonds Of Earth.
Hello. This Is Senator Wilturn Calling.
Yes. I Have Got To Get To Chicago
As Fast As Humanly Possible.
Maybe I Didn't Make Myself Clear.
This Is An Emergency Here.
You've Heard Of A Little Thing
Called The Beef Crisis?
The President Himself
Has Asked Me To Intervene.
I'm Ta--
I Am Talking To You
About A Threat To National Security.
Now, Unless You Want Your Grandchildren
To Grow Up Eating Soyburgers,
Don't Talk To Me About Flying Stand-By.
Excellent. Excellent.
The Oval Office Appreciates
Your Cooperation.
Hey, How'd It Go?
Great. Got A Flight In 15 Minutes.
Thanks For The Pep Talk.
You Looked Like You Could Use It.
You're Quite A Student Of Human Nature.
You Know, I Like To Get Inside People's Heads.
What Happened To Him?
All Danced Out, I Guess.
Let Me Get These Drinks.
Well, That's Very Nice Of You.
Scott Huntley.
David. David Addison.
How Are You?
Hey, What The--
You Want To Trade Places? You Got It.
Hey, Come Back Here. Hey!
Stop That Guy! Don't Let Him Get Away!
Somebody Call The Police!
Another Step, And I'll Break Your Neck, Huntley.
Huntley? I'm Not Huntley!
Of Course Not. You're Vanna White.
Man: Looks Like Harry Here
Fell Off The Wagon Again.
Hardly Blame Him,
Chained To This Bag Of Crud All Day Long.
My Name Is David Addison.
I'm A Private Investigator.
Check My I.D.
He Stole My Wallet!
What Are You Doing?
My Job--Taking You Back To Prison.
Prison? Look, You're Making A Mistake.
My Name Is David Addison.
You Got The Next 99 Years To Straighten It Out.
Man: Get Your Last Looks.
Big House Over That Hill.
Best News I Had
Since They Started Making Red M&Ms Again.
You're One Of Those Freaks
Who Likes It Better On The Inside, Huh?
The Sooner I Get There, The Sooner I Get Out.
Yeah. Me, Too.
You Should Have Seen My Lawyer's Face Drop
When They Sentenced Me To This Place.
Worst Of The Worst Degenerates--
They Dump Them Here.
It's A Living Hell.
You're Lucky If You Get 3 Squares A Day.
What Did You Do To Get Here?
Forgot To Clean My Fingernails.
Land You In Prison Every Time.
They Found Bits Of My Boss Under Them.
Officer: Through The Door, One At A Time.
Let's Go. Let's Go.
Come On, Then. Don't Pull On The Chain.
Be Quiet!
All The Way Down.
Move It.
Let's Go. Move It. On The Yellow Line.
Move It. Move It.
Officer: Put Your Left Arm Up.
Put Your Arms Down.
When I Tell You,
Put Your Personal Belongings
On The Counter.
Excuse Me, Officer.
I Know, You're Probably Up To Your Eyeballs
Trying To Keep The Arsonists
From Torching The Ax Murderers
And The Ax Murderers From Julienning The Rapists,
So I'll Be Brief.
Put Your Hands In Your Pockets
Before I Cut Them Off.
I Know This Probably
Represents A Little Paperwork To You,
But When You Weigh That
Against My Rights As A Citizen
Of The Greatest Democracy In The World, I Don't--
Should I Speak To Mr.--
Got Him?
Bottoms Up.
What Am I, In Prison For Debt?
Didn't You Hear What I Said?
Hey!
Next.
Officer, Voice-Over: To Me, This Is More
Than Just A Prison.
It's A Community,
And You Men Have Been Invited To Live
In The Community
Because You're World-Class Scum.
In Any Community, Everybody's Got A Job.
[Coughs]
My Job Is Simple--
Take Care Of Any Problems.
Your Job Is Simple, Too-- Not To Be A Problem.
So Our Two Jobs Are The Same.
And When They Ain't The Same,
We Got A Conflict Of Interest.
And Whenever There's A Conflict Of Interest...
Well, I Got A Place In The Hole
To Help You Learn Your Job Better.
What You Think, I Don't Care.
What You Feel, I Don't Give A Rat's About.
What You Want Don't Mean Zero.
So It Stacks Up Like This.
You're Late For Work,
That's Two Days In The Hole.
You Miss A Meal,
That's 3 Days In The Hole.
You Take A Shower Once A Week,
And You Cut Your Hair Twice A Month,
Or It's 4 Days In The Hole.
And If You Fight...
Or Mouth Off...
Well, Maybe The Hole Is Too Good For You.
Hey! Look At This! Check Him Out!
Hey, Lover Boy.
You And Me Got A Hot Date Tonight.
Whoo! Look What's Here--
Some Fresh Meat.
Hey, Sailor, Looking For A Little Action, Man?
Hubba Hubba!
Hey, Sweetheart. I'll Visit You Later.
Look What The Cat Dragged In.
Home Sweet Home.
Don't Worry. It's Not Locked.
Captain Schank Likes The Screws
To Clang The Door In Your Face.
Gets Him Sexually Aroused.
Name's Arnie Steckler.
I Was Hoping To Bunk
With Somebody Else Tonight, Arnie.
Nice To Meet You.
Uh...Your Mattress Has A Ditch In It.
But Then Again, They All Do.
No Mints On My Pillow?
I Told Them It Was Ok
To Stick You In Here With Me.
We All Heard The Stories, Huntley.
Everybody Was Squawking About Getting Stuck With You,
But I Says, "Live And Let Live."
I Guess You Could Say That's My Motto--
"Live And Let Live."
Is It True You Played Tetherball
With That Parole Officer's Head?
Croquet.
Man: You Better Remember Who The Hell
You're Talking To.
When I Want Something, Pygmy,
I Don't Want To Hear Any Crap Out Of You!
Do You Understand?
Give Me That. I Told You, Man.
I Don't Like Easy Listening Music!
That's Derek.
Let Me Guess. He Runs The Prayer Group.
Short Fuse. It's A Congenital Thing.
The Doctors Are Studying Him.
Hey. Where Is He?
Man: Hey, He's Down There.
Second Man: Uh-Oh! Here's Action, Man.
Ha Ha. I Want To Watch This.
It's Going To Be Good.
Good Night, Irene.
Ha Ha!
There It Is.
I Thought I Smelled New Meat.
Back Up, Come In Again,
And This Time, Say, "Fe Fi Fo Fum."
Derek, Mad Dog Huntley.
Mad Dog, Derek.
Huntley.
Mad Dog Huntley In Our Prison
And In My Cellblock.
So How Do You Like It So Far, Mad Dog?
[Barks]
Can You Put Your Leg Behind Your Ear
And Scratch Where It Itches?
They Told Me You Was A Tough Guy.
Are You A Tough Guy?
I Got My Wolf Badge,
If That's What You Mean.
You Ain't Gonna Do Here What You Did
In Them Other Prisons, Huntley. You Got That?!
Look Around You, Man. This Joint Belongs To Me.
You Ain't Taking It Over. You See?
[Prisoners Yelling]
Did A Nice Job With It, Too.
Yeah, That's Right, Man.
And I Want To See What Kind Of Job You Can Do...
On My Shoes.
You're Going To Shine Them,
And I'm Going To Show You How, So Listen Up.
Apply The Polish Evenly,
Then Buff 100 Times.
And Don't Use A Rag. Use A Chamois.
I'll Be Back Tomorrow First Thing,
And I Want To Be Able To Shave In That Shine...
Mad Dog.
Arf Arf!
Ha Ha Ha!
[Prisoners Barking And Laughing]
This Better Be A Dream Episode.
Derek Really Likes It
When You Use Edge Black Along The Soles.
You Want To Get Gutted?
Gets These Shoes Custom-Made
All The Way From Italy.
He Ought To Buy American.
Look, Mad Dog, Why Don't You Lighten Up A Bit?
I Know It's Your First Night,
So If You Want To Be By Yourself,
I Could Sit On My Bunk And Face The Wall.
I Just Want To Get Out Of Here, That's All.
Oh, Don't Worry About That Feeling.
You'll Get Over It In About 5 Or 10 Years.
[Drums Playing Softly]
Bert, Softly: Get Up, Get Up, Get Up, Get Up.
Wake Up, Wake Up, Wake Up, Wake Up.
[Guitar And Bass Playing]
♪ Oh, Baby ♪
♪ Now, Let's Get Down Tonight ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I'm Hot Just Like An Oven ♪
♪ I Need Some Lovin' ♪
♪ And ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I Can't Hold It Much Longer ♪
♪ It's Getting Stronger And Stronger ♪
♪ And When I Get That Feeling ♪
♪ I Want Sexual Healing ♪
♪ Sexual Healing, Baby ♪
♪ Makes Me Feel So Fine ♪
♪ Helps To Relieve My Mind ♪
♪ Sexual Healing, Baby ♪
♪ It's Good For Me ♪
♪ Sexual Healing ♪
♪ Is Something That's Good For Me ♪
♪ Whenever Blue Teardrops Are Falling ♪
♪ And My Emotional Stability Is Leaving Me ♪
♪ There Is Something ♪
♪ I Can Do ♪
♪ I Can Get On The Telephone ♪
♪ And Call You Up ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ And, Honey, I Know You'll Be There ♪
♪ To Relieve Me ♪
♪ 'cause The Love You Give To Me Will Be ♪
♪ If You Don't Know The Thing You're Dealing ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I Can Tell You, Darling ♪
♪ That It's Sexual Healing ♪
That's Beautiful, Herbert.
Agnes?
Yes?
What Is All That Stuff On Your Face?
Come On Up. I'll Buzz You In.
You're In Like Flynn, Kid.
You're The Greatest, Uncle Phil.
Who Is It?
I've Never Been Serenaded Before.
I've Never Serenaded Anyone Before.
You Still Have Some On Your Cheek.
I Love Guacamole.
About This Morning--
Shh!
None Of That Matters Now.
I Disgraced Myself.
A Couple Of Hours Ago,
I Placed An Overseas Phone Call.
The Foreign Legion Is Willing
To Consider My Application.
It Will Be A Great Way To Learn French.
you Don't Have To Parlez-Vous, Bert.
This Morning Was Really All My Fault.
I'm The One Who Blurted Out The Secret, Not You.
I'm The One Who I Should Never See Again.
So I Made A Call, Too,
To Miss Hayes To Apologize.
How Did She Take It?
She Told Me Not To Lose Any Sleep Over It.
She Was Going To Tell Mr. Addison Herself Anyway.
Well, Good.
At Least They Can, Um...
Thrash It Out Face-To-Face.
No.
She Said Mr. Addison Hasn't Shown Up In Chicago.
I Wonder Where He Is.
Agnes...
I'm Here.
Would You Mind
Losing A Little Sleep Over Me?
Oh, Bert.
[Bell Rings]
All Right. Let's Shake It Out.
Everybody, Let's Go. Let's Go.
Let's Move It.
Man: Open Up Cellblock Two.
[Buzzer]
[Doors Clang Open]
Guard: Cellblock Two Open.
Huntley, Up And At 'em.
[Groaning]
I Don't Care What You Did
To Those 13 Baby-Sitters.
I Ain't Going To Lose My Canteen Privileges
Because You're Late For A Meal.
I Was Having A Nightmare.
I Was At The Zoo,
Except All The Animals
Were Walking Around, And I Was...
Guard: Everybody Up. Let's Go. Now.
What Did You Do?
I Had To Get Up In The Middle Of The Night.
It Was Dark.
We're Dead.
Derek: Hey, Huntley!
Derek. Uh...
S-S...Morning, Sir. Did You Sleep Well?
Where's My Shoes?
We Had A Little Problem With The Shoes.
What Kind Of Problem?
Better Tell Him.
Uh...Huntley Here Almost Gave You
Back Your Shoes
Without Putting On The New Soles
That I Made For Them In The Shop.
What Was Wrong With The Old Soles?
You Tell Him.
You Ever Heard Of A Condition Called
Flattus Feetisitis?
Is That Bad?
Is It Bad?
Look, Man, If You Don't Get The Proper
Arch Support,
It's A Foregone Conclusion.
And That's Just For Starters.
Then You Got Your Bunions, Arthritis...
Gout. Gout.
Steckler Here Is Just Trying To Keep You
Out Of A Wheelchair, That's All.
Yeah. We're Going To Have Them Fixed Up,
As Good As New.
Better Than New. Put Some Taps On Them.
You're Going To Love This.
Make You Feel Like A King,
Like You're Walking On Water
Across An Ocean Of Perfumed,
Silky Ladies Underwear.
Yeah. I Like That.
He Likes It.
Good.
Have Them For You, Say, Next Week?
No. First Thing Tomorrow.
Where Am I Going To Get Taps?
I'll Send You Some As Soon As I Get Out,
Which Ought To Be About 5 Minutes
After I Talk To The Warden.
Yeah. Piece Of Cake.
Maybe He's Even Going To Toss You The Keys
To His Caddy.
All Right, Maggots.
It's Chow Time. Let's Move It.
[Prisoners Talking Indistinctly]
May I See A Wine List, Please?
You Gents Mind If I Join You?
You Must Be
The Foreign Exchange Prisoners.
Welcome To Our Land.
You're Going Somewhere Else.
Excuse Me, Gentlemen.
He's A New Guy.
He Don't Mean Nothing. Honest.
He's A New Guy.
[Growls]
Rule Number One--
Chocolate And Vanilla Don't Mix.
What's The Problem? I'm Down With The Brothers.
We Listen To The Same Radio Stations.
Look, You Know My Motto, Mad Dog.
Together: Live And Let Live.
On The Inside,
You Stick With Your Own Kind,
Unless You Got Something
Against Breathing.
You Lucky Bastard.
You Don't Want It?
Trying To Cut Down.
Cuban.
Scarface Used To Have These Sent In From Havana.
Thanks.
Don't Mention It.
[Whispering]
Darwin Wants You To Go With Him
To The Prison Rodeo.
Who's Darwin?
What Am I, Chopped Liver?
Aah!
Back, Darwin! Back!
Whoa! Aah!
Ha Ha Ha!
[Whistle Blowing]
Just In Time, Constable.
Party's Getting A Little Wild. Whoa!
Leave It.
It Will Probably Tighten Your Pores.
Yo, Room Service.
Want To Send Up A Bed?
How About Some Clean Towels And A Basket Of Fruit?
I Can Explain Everything, Maddie.
[Imitating Maddie] Um...You Could Explain
Where You Were During 9 Months Of Pregnancy,
Labor, Potty Training,
Kindergarten?
[Normal Voice] Yeah. I Was In Prison.
[Imitating Maddie] Prison?
[Normal Voice] Prison.
[Imitating Maddie] Sure You Didn't Just
Fall Off Some Bar Stool And Have Amnesia?
[Normal Voice] That's Great.
Go Ahead. Make Jokes, Maddie.
I Didn't Really Come Here To See You.
[Imitating Maddie] Well, At Least We Agree
On Something,
Because I Don't Want To See You, Either.
[Normal Voice] I Came Here To See The Kid.
I Want To Let Him Know That He's Got A Father.
[Imitating Maddie] You're Not A Father.
You're Just Some Mistake I Made A Long Time Ago.
[Normal Voice] I Got A Right, Maddie.
[Imitating Maddie] He Doesn't Even Know You.
I Never Told Him About You.
[Normal Voice] You Never Told Him About Me?
[Imitating Maddie] What Was I Supposed
To Say, David?
You Just Disappeared.
Where Were You, David?
Captioning Made Possible By Lions Gate Home Entertainment
Captioned By The National Captioning Institute
--TC6 WAS HERE--
♪ So Come Walk The Night ♪
♪ Come Fly By Day ♪
♪ Something Is Sweeter ♪
♪ 'cause We Met On The Way ♪
♪ There Is The Sun And Moon ♪
♪ They Sing Their Own ♪
♪ Sweet Tune ♪
♪ Watch Them When Dawn Is Due ♪
♪ Sharing One Space ♪
♪ We'll Walk By Night ♪
♪ We'll Fly By Day ♪
♪ Moonlighting Strangers ♪
♪ Who Just Met On The Way ♪