1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,201
Is Sam still out with your dad?
2
00:00:03,239 --> 00:00:05,140
It's been almost six hours.
3
00:00:05,207 --> 00:00:06,741
Maybe he took her
to the mall again.
4
00:00:06,809 --> 00:00:09,100
I mean, for a guy his age,
that's like three hours
5
00:00:09,168 --> 00:00:12,465
to find a parking spot and
three more hours to back out.
6
00:00:12,532 --> 00:00:14,876
Actually, I think he was
taking her to Long Beach
7
00:00:14,944 --> 00:00:16,989
to see the cargo ships come in.
8
00:00:17,057 --> 00:00:20,261
Oh, well, then she's probably just
waiting for the adrenaline to wear off.
9
00:00:20,329 --> 00:00:22,331
He's monopolizing all her time.
10
00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:24,399
It's not fair to Sam.
She's not me.
11
00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:27,173
I'm good at making up excuses
and I'm running out.
12
00:00:27,241 --> 00:00:30,146
I mean, how many quinceañeras
can one white lady go to?
13
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,654
I thought you guys loved
hanging out with my dad.
14
00:00:33,722 --> 00:00:37,128
No, we do it because his wife
kicked him out and he's lonely.
15
00:00:37,196 --> 00:00:39,165
But we can only take so much.
16
00:00:39,232 --> 00:00:40,952
I mean, you've got to
do something about it.
17
00:00:41,002 --> 00:00:42,238
What am I supposed to do?
18
00:00:42,305 --> 00:00:45,042
I grew up with the guy.
I did my time.
19
00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:46,678
Well, Sam's 15.
20
00:00:46,745 --> 00:00:48,713
She should be up
in her room hating us,
21
00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:54,425
listening to some super sincere
neo-folk bearded jug band BS.
22
00:00:55,695 --> 00:00:58,398
What happened
to metal, Charlie?
23
00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:00,936
What a day. What a day.
24
00:01:01,004 --> 00:01:02,638
Hey, you're back.
25
00:01:02,706 --> 00:01:04,908
- Did you see the ships?
- We saw the ships.
26
00:01:04,975 --> 00:01:07,277
We visited a cemetery
for war veterans.
27
00:01:07,344 --> 00:01:11,150
We read a terrific brochure about
California's largest flag.
28
00:01:11,217 --> 00:01:13,018
And what was
the best part, Sam?
29
00:01:13,085 --> 00:01:15,752
Hard to beat the cemetery.
30
00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:18,189
No, the best part is we're
going out again tonight.
31
00:01:18,257 --> 00:01:20,926
I'm taking Sam to
a little Italian restaurant
32
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,896
I discovered where all the
waiters sing Bobby Darin songs.
33
00:01:23,963 --> 00:01:25,729
"Splish Splash." You
want to go with us, Jen?
34
00:01:25,797 --> 00:01:27,861
Tonight? Oh, I can't.
35
00:01:27,928 --> 00:01:30,881
I got my online banjo lessons.
36
00:01:30,944 --> 00:01:33,274
You should play
for us sometime.
37
00:01:33,342 --> 00:01:36,511
All right, I'm gonna
go home for a nap,
38
00:01:36,579 --> 00:01:38,539
and then I'll be back to
pick you up at 6:30 sharp.
39
00:01:38,547 --> 00:01:40,747
Be there or be square.
40
00:01:40,815 --> 00:01:42,315
Bye-bye, sweetheart.
41
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,519
Oh.
42
00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:48,688
Sam, you know you don't have to go
out with Grandpa again tonight.
43
00:01:48,756 --> 00:01:51,357
Or ever, really.
44
00:01:51,425 --> 00:01:55,225
But he's my grandpa. I mean, who
knows how much time he has left?
45
00:01:55,293 --> 00:01:57,694
I know. The suspense
is killing me.
46
00:02:00,863 --> 00:02:03,303
Okay, we still have a few minutes left.
Anybody have anything?
47
00:02:03,362 --> 00:02:07,298
Well, if I'm being
totally honest,
48
00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:10,034
I'm a little worried I've been
smoking too much pot lately.
49
00:02:10,102 --> 00:02:12,504
Nolan, if I'm being
totally honest,
50
00:02:12,571 --> 00:02:15,240
you just said the exact
same thing 10 minutes ago.
51
00:02:16,543 --> 00:02:17,843
Anybody else?
52
00:02:17,911 --> 00:02:23,149
Okay, there's this douchebag who
tormented me in high school
53
00:02:23,216 --> 00:02:24,696
and, according to
my schedule at work,
54
00:02:24,718 --> 00:02:26,719
he's coming in
for a fashion consultation.
55
00:02:26,787 --> 00:02:28,655
It may not even
be the same guy.
56
00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:31,625
Could be some random non-douchebag
with the same name.
57
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:36,898
He's a Mexican Jew and his
name is Gonzalo Rosenblatt.
58
00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:39,167
You were saying?
59
00:02:39,235 --> 00:02:41,803
Give me five minutes
and I'll show you
60
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,605
how to sever
his Achilles tendon
61
00:02:43,672 --> 00:02:46,574
with a credit card
and a ballpoint pen.
62
00:02:46,642 --> 00:02:50,078
Ed, I am already here because
of an incident at work.
63
00:02:50,146 --> 00:02:51,714
If he starts in,
I'm gonna lose it.
64
00:02:51,781 --> 00:02:53,515
And if that happens again,
I'm out of a job.
65
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:55,751
You're just being
dramatic, Patrick.
66
00:02:55,819 --> 00:02:58,420
You were probably an
insignificant bug to this guy.
67
00:02:58,488 --> 00:03:00,488
I bet he doesn't even remember
you from high school.
68
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:02,458
I bet nobody remembers you
from high school.
69
00:03:02,526 --> 00:03:04,293
Thank you, Lacey.
70
00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:06,801
You can now get back to the top
of your slutty Christmas tree.
71
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:11,900
I think what Lacey
is trying to say is...
72
00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:13,769
no, even I can't save that one.
73
00:03:15,338 --> 00:03:16,805
Lacey, you just
bought yourself a job
74
00:03:16,873 --> 00:03:18,373
as Patrick's anger buddy.
75
00:03:18,441 --> 00:03:20,009
I want you there for him when
this guy comes in the store.
76
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:22,211
- What does it pay?
- It doesn't pay anything.
77
00:03:22,278 --> 00:03:23,518
You're there
to support Patrick.
78
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,381
Oh, what does that pay?
79
00:03:25,448 --> 00:03:28,551
Tell you what, you see a
pair of shoes you like,
80
00:03:28,618 --> 00:03:31,053
- I will look the other way.
- I'm there.
81
00:03:31,121 --> 00:03:32,855
Patrick, that's not
gonna happen.
82
00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:34,957
Come on, I was
obviously kidding.
83
00:03:38,128 --> 00:03:39,462
I saw that.
84
00:03:41,665 --> 00:03:44,066
Ed, you were gonna find
a hobby as a way
85
00:03:44,134 --> 00:03:46,636
to bring some joy back in your life.
Any luck with that?
86
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,571
Well, I was looking
for a choir group
87
00:03:48,639 --> 00:03:51,307
like I was in in Texas, but
the wife wouldn't have it.
88
00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:52,708
You sing?
89
00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:55,344
Like a goddamn angel.
90
00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:58,881
I sing.
91
00:03:58,949 --> 00:04:01,817
Not out loud, obviously.
92
00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:05,589
Ed, what kind
of stuff did you sing?
93
00:04:05,656 --> 00:04:08,726
Well, it was a heritage choir.
We sang folk songs.
94
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:12,263
You know, things like "That
Old Cotton Field Back Home"
95
00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:15,332
and "Big Old Shiny Smile."
96
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,702
Ed, those songs sound
horribly racist and offensive.
97
00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:20,737
Oh, no. It's real Americana.
98
00:04:20,805 --> 00:04:23,907
♪ Old Jim Dandy
dancing in the streets ♪
99
00:04:23,975 --> 00:04:26,142
♪ Folks come
from miles around ♪
100
00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:28,044
♪ To see his dancing feets. ♪
101
00:04:30,381 --> 00:04:32,382
Oh.
102
00:04:33,718 --> 00:04:35,752
Ed, if you enjoyed
the choir so much,
103
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,154
why'd your wife make you quit?
104
00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:39,223
She said it takes up
all my time.
105
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:42,059
Really? All your time?
106
00:04:42,126 --> 00:04:44,528
She says she hardly
ever sees me.
107
00:04:44,596 --> 00:04:46,797
- Even on the weekends?
- Especially on the weekends.
108
00:04:46,865 --> 00:04:49,466
This is perfect.
109
00:04:49,534 --> 00:04:52,203
That's okay. I've already
got another hobby.
110
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:54,672
I've been building
ships in a bottle.
111
00:04:54,739 --> 00:04:57,274
Slave ships in a bottle?
112
00:04:57,342 --> 00:04:59,276
No.
113
00:05:01,679 --> 00:05:03,547
Oh.
114
00:05:06,318 --> 00:05:09,953
Give it up, Charlie. I am not
a men's choir kind of guy.
115
00:05:10,021 --> 00:05:13,257
These are all guys
your age, Dad.
116
00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:15,393
They're all retired professionals
and they're funny.
117
00:05:15,461 --> 00:05:18,196
Who else would name themselves
The Artificial Hipsters?
118
00:05:18,264 --> 00:05:20,164
Nah.
119
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:23,468
Besides, it would take up a lot of
the time I normally spend with Sam.
120
00:05:23,536 --> 00:05:25,271
All the more reason
to join the choir.
121
00:05:25,338 --> 00:05:28,044
Give Sam a little push out of
the nest like a baby bird.
122
00:05:28,111 --> 00:05:29,748
I know it's not
going to be easy.
123
00:05:29,815 --> 00:05:33,289
She was really looking forward to
that tour of the oatmeal factory.
124
00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:36,192
Two tons of cinnamon per day.
125
00:05:38,763 --> 00:05:41,065
Well, well.
Martin and Charlie Goodson.
126
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,935
I can never remember which is the
father and which is the son.
127
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:46,403
Brett, you'd be
a good judge of this.
128
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,973
Do you think guys in
singing groups are losers?
129
00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:51,008
Hell, no.
130
00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:53,778
Charlie, every woman knows a guy
who can keep a beat onstage
131
00:05:53,846 --> 00:05:56,715
can keep a beat in bed or a van
132
00:05:56,783 --> 00:05:59,352
or the first aid station
at Burning Man.
133
00:06:00,554 --> 00:06:02,990
Let me see that flyer
again, Charlie.
134
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:04,826
You're gonna love it, Dad.
135
00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:07,929
And just how did you
wind up at Burning Man?
136
00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:10,865
Well, I took three Ambien at a
fireworks show in Bakersfield
137
00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:14,569
and to this day I have not
been able to connect the dots.
138
00:06:18,607 --> 00:06:20,074
Are you sure they're gone?
139
00:06:20,142 --> 00:06:22,810
I don't want to bust in
on your dad's choir practice.
140
00:06:22,878 --> 00:06:25,913
I know. If they saw you in
that outfit, they'd die.
141
00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:28,262
Of course, if they miss the
damn baby aspirin, they'd die.
142
00:06:29,651 --> 00:06:31,985
So why didn't they just
rehearse at your dad's place?
143
00:06:32,053 --> 00:06:35,021
His apartment's tiny, so I told him
as long as he keeps the place neat...
144
00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:37,690
Oh, well, I was hoping we could
make it a little dirtier.
145
00:06:40,294 --> 00:06:42,361
- Oh, my God.
- Damn right.
146
00:06:42,429 --> 00:06:44,030
And that's just one hand.
147
00:06:44,097 --> 00:06:46,666
No, Charlie, look.
148
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:52,237
I'm gonna kill him.
149
00:06:52,305 --> 00:06:53,572
He might be dead already.
150
00:06:56,943 --> 00:06:59,210
Oh, good. I'm gonna kill him.
151
00:07:02,151 --> 00:07:05,701
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.Com
152
00:07:05,756 --> 00:07:09,439
I'd dip his hand in warm
water, but that's my couch.
153
00:07:09,506 --> 00:07:12,440
Oh, just let him sleep.
He looks so peaceful.
154
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:16,111
That's what makes this
so much fun.
155
00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:18,046
- Dad!
- Oh!
156
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,683
Oh.
157
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,818
Oh, hey, guys.
158
00:07:23,886 --> 00:07:25,620
How's it going?
159
00:07:25,688 --> 00:07:27,188
What the hell happened here?
160
00:07:27,256 --> 00:07:31,426
I guess the choir practice
got a little out of hand.
161
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,462
A little?
How much drinking went on?
162
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:36,329
I don't know.
It doesn't take much.
163
00:07:36,397 --> 00:07:40,031
They're all on
prescription meds.
164
00:07:40,099 --> 00:07:43,668
Ooh, looks like somebody
had a lady over.
165
00:07:43,735 --> 00:07:46,336
Ooh, yes, that would be Sal.
He's got a hernia.
166
00:07:49,274 --> 00:07:52,075
You know, at your age, I thought I
could trust you to be responsible.
167
00:07:52,143 --> 00:07:54,410
Oh, I was just trying
to be one of the guys.
168
00:07:54,478 --> 00:07:56,712
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
169
00:07:58,214 --> 00:07:59,781
You're right,
it won't happen again
170
00:07:59,848 --> 00:08:01,916
because your friends
are never allowed back here.
171
00:08:04,786 --> 00:08:06,320
Were you guys smoking pot?
172
00:08:06,387 --> 00:08:09,322
That was Morten.
He's got glaucoma.
173
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:10,557
Uh-huh.
174
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,725
What about Sal?
175
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,627
He's got anxiety.
176
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,462
What about you?
177
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:20,967
I thought about having anxiety,
but then I chickened out.
178
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,873
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
179
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,675
I'm worried about my dad, Jen.
180
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,477
I think he might have fallen
in with the wrong crowd.
181
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,179
Cut him some slack.
182
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,448
You know, he's not
bothering Sam anymore.
183
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,083
He's making friends.
184
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,985
And you know
how stubborn he is.
185
00:08:39,053 --> 00:08:41,788
If you come down too hard on him,
he's gonna end up rebelling.
186
00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,790
Yeah, you're right.
Maybe I'm overreacting.
187
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,325
But I do kind of want
to be the cool son
188
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,061
that "gets it," you know?
189
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,866
Hello?
190
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,434
What?
191
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,870
Charlie, it's your daddy.
You need to come pick him up.
192
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,939
He and the rest
of the Gray Men's Choir
193
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,508
are chasing away all my
customers with their singing.
194
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,879
Apparently they like to go
swimming with bowlegged women.
195
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:09,015
Sea shanties? Are they drunk?
196
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:12,152
They might be a bit overserved.
197
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,021
Well, that's because
you overserved them.
198
00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:15,890
Don't worry, I took
your daddy's car keys
199
00:09:15,958 --> 00:09:17,464
and I put them where I
put all drunks' keys.
200
00:09:17,477 --> 00:09:18,993
They're in my bra.
201
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:20,728
Okay, I'll be right down.
202
00:09:20,796 --> 00:09:22,630
Well, hurry up.
It's a busy night
203
00:09:22,698 --> 00:09:25,258
and every time I circle the bar,
I sound like a team of reindeer.
204
00:09:26,935 --> 00:09:28,469
Hope you're happy, Jen.
205
00:09:28,537 --> 00:09:30,639
My dad's friends got him
kicked out of a bar.
206
00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:33,178
Is there anything
I can do to help?
207
00:09:33,246 --> 00:09:34,981
Yeah, you can go down there
208
00:09:35,048 --> 00:09:37,119
and drag my stupid,
drunken dad home.
209
00:09:46,163 --> 00:09:48,698
I'd love to, Charlie, but I'm
in no condition to drive.
210
00:10:05,986 --> 00:10:08,454
I can't even listen
to my music?
211
00:10:08,522 --> 00:10:11,124
That's not music. That's noise.
212
00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:13,994
Do you think I like coming to get
you in the middle of the night?
213
00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:15,896
Fine, then don't do it.
214
00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:23,070
You really embarrassed me
in front of the guys.
215
00:10:23,138 --> 00:10:25,973
You're drunk
and I embarrassed you?
216
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:30,512
They were playing quarters and
Stan said if I didn't play,
217
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,715
there weren't enough
guys for a game.
218
00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:36,219
If Stan told you to jump off
a bridge, would you do it?
219
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:38,087
Yes.
220
00:10:38,155 --> 00:10:40,556
He was a structural engineer.
221
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:45,096
If he tells me to jump,
I have to assume
222
00:10:45,164 --> 00:10:48,332
there's something wrong
with the bridge's integrity.
223
00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:52,637
Well, I guess you have
an answer for everything.
224
00:10:54,707 --> 00:10:59,544
Dad, I understand peer pressure,
but you're not a kid anymore.
225
00:10:59,612 --> 00:11:01,547
You can't run around like one.
You understand?
226
00:11:01,614 --> 00:11:04,183
Whatever.
227
00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:05,985
Jerk.
228
00:11:06,053 --> 00:11:08,187
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
229
00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:12,558
All right, Gonzalo
just walked in.
230
00:11:12,626 --> 00:11:15,028
Now, remember,
you're my assistant, okay?
231
00:11:15,095 --> 00:11:17,764
Yeah, no, look at me.
I'm obviously your manager.
232
00:11:17,831 --> 00:11:20,167
Yeah, no, you're my assistant.
233
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:22,569
- Uh, yeah, no.
- Uh, yeah, no.
234
00:11:24,606 --> 00:11:27,774
Hi. You must be Mr. Rosenblatt.
235
00:11:27,842 --> 00:11:30,110
I'm Patrick. This is
Lacey, my assistant.
236
00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:31,845
Manager. So nice to meet you.
237
00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:34,014
Well, it's good to meet
the both of...
238
00:11:34,082 --> 00:11:35,716
Hang on. Don't I know you?
239
00:11:35,784 --> 00:11:37,787
Oh, no. I have a familiar face.
240
00:11:37,854 --> 00:11:40,089
- Shall we start with jackets?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
241
00:11:40,156 --> 00:11:41,724
From Riverside High.
242
00:11:41,791 --> 00:11:43,759
Remember the homecoming game?
243
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:45,962
We rolled you down
the bleachers in a trash can
244
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:48,965
and you spilled out at the 50-yard
line in front of the whole school.
245
00:11:49,032 --> 00:11:50,299
Nah, it doesn't ring a bell.
246
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:52,034
It's 50% silk,
so it lays beautifully.
247
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:55,036
We called you... Patty.
248
00:11:55,104 --> 00:11:57,105
You know why?
249
00:11:57,173 --> 00:11:58,940
Yeah, duh, 'cause he's gay.
250
00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:01,610
What? No, 'cause he's
a pasty Irish guy.
251
00:12:01,678 --> 00:12:03,712
Pat. Man.
252
00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:06,248
If I knew you were gay,
we would have called you...
253
00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:08,951
yeah, probably Patty.
254
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,019
All right, it's me.
255
00:12:11,087 --> 00:12:14,556
And now I'm your personal stylist,
so what can I do for you?
256
00:12:14,624 --> 00:12:16,125
I need to get
a couple of suits.
257
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:19,562
I've got some meetings with
JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs.
258
00:12:19,629 --> 00:12:24,067
So you must be what they call
in business a businessman.
259
00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:26,636
Yeah, I trade derivatives,
mostly currency swaps
260
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,404
for institutional clients,
261
00:12:28,472 --> 00:12:30,906
and I do a little merger
arbitrage on the side.
262
00:12:30,973 --> 00:12:32,307
Do you work out?
263
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:35,110
P90X every day.
264
00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:36,711
You got a boyfriend?
265
00:12:36,779 --> 00:12:38,479
I mean, I know
it ain't this guy.
266
00:12:38,547 --> 00:12:41,548
Right?
267
00:12:41,616 --> 00:12:44,584
Anyway, maybe we'll go
out for drinks tonight?
268
00:12:44,652 --> 00:12:46,386
Uh, yeah, we will.
269
00:12:46,454 --> 00:12:48,220
Just for size,
let's try these on.
270
00:12:48,288 --> 00:12:50,255
Okay.
271
00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,090
You put your digits in here.
272
00:12:52,158 --> 00:12:53,958
I'll be right back.
273
00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:58,429
What are you doing? You're
supposed to be helping me,
274
00:12:58,496 --> 00:13:00,063
not get a date
to the douchebag ball.
275
00:13:00,131 --> 00:13:01,631
Relax, Patty.
276
00:13:01,699 --> 00:13:03,533
I'm just gonna make a date
with him and then not show up.
277
00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:05,635
- It'll be awesome.
- Really?
278
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,536
You would do that for me?
279
00:13:07,604 --> 00:13:10,105
Dude, I'm totally
gonna blue-ball the guy.
280
00:13:10,173 --> 00:13:12,173
When I get done with him,
he won't be able to walk.
281
00:13:12,174 --> 00:13:14,209
Oh, my God, Lacey.
282
00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:17,512
You are the most evil bitch
I've met in my entire life.
283
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:19,681
Thank you.
284
00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:28,288
Hi. Can I help you?
285
00:13:28,356 --> 00:13:31,091
This is a little awkward.
Are you Charlie Goodson?
286
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:34,127
Well, you're both too old to
be my children, so, yes, I am.
287
00:13:35,829 --> 00:13:37,763
I'm Karen, this is Bob.
288
00:13:37,831 --> 00:13:40,299
Bob's father Stan is in
your dad's choir group
289
00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:41,634
and so is my father Sal.
290
00:13:41,701 --> 00:13:43,202
Ah, with the girdle.
291
00:13:43,269 --> 00:13:44,970
Sure. Come on in.
292
00:13:49,308 --> 00:13:52,142
So, what's going on?
293
00:13:52,210 --> 00:13:53,910
It's about your dad, Charlie.
294
00:13:53,978 --> 00:13:56,579
I'm afraid he's a bad
influence on our fathers.
295
00:13:56,647 --> 00:13:58,882
Look, I don't know what your
parents are telling you,
296
00:13:58,949 --> 00:14:01,784
but my dad says that your dads are
the ones starting all the trouble.
297
00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:05,655
Yeah, well, of course
he's gonna tell you that.
298
00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:07,123
He's scared
you'll get mad at him.
299
00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:09,758
My dad is not a ringleader.
300
00:14:09,826 --> 00:14:12,194
He just wants their approval
'cause he thinks they're cool.
301
00:14:12,262 --> 00:14:15,964
Let me tell you what's not
cool... assuming, blaming.
302
00:14:16,031 --> 00:14:17,499
'Cause you know what
happens when you blame?
303
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:21,502
You... be lame.
304
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:25,505
Listen, one of these nights, one of
our dads is gonna drink too much
305
00:14:25,572 --> 00:14:27,332
and he's gonna wind up
dead behind the wheel.
306
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:29,575
And when that happens,
we're holding you responsible.
307
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:34,580
Well, then I'll see you
at your dads' funerals.
308
00:14:34,647 --> 00:14:36,615
I know that sounds
like a threat, but it's not.
309
00:14:36,683 --> 00:14:38,884
It is a common courtesy
since I assume
310
00:14:38,951 --> 00:14:41,052
that your family will be
at my dad's as well.
311
00:14:50,314 --> 00:14:51,748
Hey, Charlie.
312
00:14:53,484 --> 00:14:56,052
Got your message.
You wanted to see me?
313
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,553
Have a seat, Dad.
314
00:15:00,257 --> 00:15:02,258
So what's going on?
315
00:15:07,764 --> 00:15:11,467
Just had a visit
from a Bob and a Karen.
316
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,403
Their fathers are in
your choir group.
317
00:15:14,471 --> 00:15:16,572
You know what they told me?
318
00:15:16,639 --> 00:15:20,209
They told me that the real
troublemaker here is you.
319
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:22,811
Get off my back.
It's none of your beeswax.
320
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:24,980
Oh, it is my beeswax.
321
00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:27,283
It is very much
my beeswax, Dad.
322
00:15:28,519 --> 00:15:30,320
I am responsible for you.
323
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:32,422
Oh, yeah? You know, when
we go to Louie's house,
324
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,125
his son buys us beer
and he's cool about it.
325
00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:37,794
Well, I'm not Louie's son
326
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:40,563
and I don't care what Louie's
son lets his father do.
327
00:15:40,631 --> 00:15:42,999
Oh.
328
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:46,469
Will you get off your damn cell
phone while I'm talking to you?
329
00:15:46,537 --> 00:15:48,204
It's Stan.
330
00:15:48,272 --> 00:15:50,907
He wants me to meet his sister at P.F.
Chang's.
331
00:15:50,975 --> 00:15:53,476
Jeez, if she looks
anything like Stan...
332
00:15:53,544 --> 00:15:55,211
I wonder what Louie's up to.
333
00:15:56,847 --> 00:16:00,383
You're not going anywhere, mister,
until we're done talking.
334
00:16:00,451 --> 00:16:02,418
Oh, yeah?
How you gonna stop me?
335
00:16:02,486 --> 00:16:03,686
I'm gonna take away
your car keys.
336
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,454
I'd like to see you try.
337
00:16:08,492 --> 00:16:10,526
What else would you
like to see?
338
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:12,495
Now don't be a smart-ass.
339
00:16:12,563 --> 00:16:14,464
I can still take you.
Now give me the keys.
340
00:16:14,531 --> 00:16:16,199
You're not going
anywhere tonight.
341
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,867
It wouldn't kill you to not
go out every once in a while.
342
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,503
Okay, fine. Have it your way.
343
00:16:20,571 --> 00:16:22,672
I'm taking a nap.
344
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:26,476
Unless sleeping in this house
is against the law, too.
345
00:16:28,846 --> 00:16:31,014
When does it get easier?
346
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:36,086
Hey, Patty.
347
00:16:36,154 --> 00:16:37,888
Gonzalo, hi. How was
your date with Lacey?
348
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,024
Wait till you hear this.
349
00:16:40,092 --> 00:16:41,558
Oh, no, she stood you up?
That whore.
350
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,794
What? No.
351
00:16:43,862 --> 00:16:47,231
One drink, we went back
to my place and got busy.
352
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:49,167
What? That whore.
353
00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:53,670
- Hey, is she here?
- No, she's not.
354
00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:56,840
But I plan on seeing her
very, very shortly.
355
00:16:56,908 --> 00:16:59,643
Awesome. Tell her
Little Gonzalo says hi.
356
00:16:59,711 --> 00:17:00,877
She'll know what that means.
357
00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:02,479
I'm sure she will.
358
00:17:02,547 --> 00:17:05,549
- Little Gonzalo is...
- Is your penis. I got it.
359
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,866
You had sex with him?
360
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:15,202
Yeah, it was awesome.
You owe me.
361
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,972
I owe you for having
awesome sex
362
00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:19,807
with the guy
who was terrible to me?
363
00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:22,743
Hey, having crazy sex with him
was just part of a bigger plan.
364
00:17:22,811 --> 00:17:25,413
I totally have your back, okay?
365
00:17:25,481 --> 00:17:28,083
Actually, I think
Gonzalo had your back.
366
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:30,319
I'm just guessing.
367
00:17:30,386 --> 00:17:32,320
Okay, here's the plan.
368
00:17:32,388 --> 00:17:34,856
I keep going out with him,
get him totally hooked on me.
369
00:17:34,924 --> 00:17:36,457
And then in, like, 10 years
370
00:17:36,524 --> 00:17:38,659
when we have a boy
and a girl and an Escalade,
371
00:17:38,727 --> 00:17:40,528
I'll totally leave him
and take all his money.
372
00:17:42,364 --> 00:17:44,365
You know what?
You deserve each other.
373
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:47,902
You're both selfish,
insensitive narcissists.
374
00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:49,137
I'm sorry,
what were you saying?
375
00:17:49,204 --> 00:17:50,872
I was distracted
by something amazing.
376
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:53,808
I should have known better than
to think I could count on you.
377
00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:56,077
Hey, Patrick.
378
00:17:56,145 --> 00:17:58,312
What?
379
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:02,751
If it makes you feel any better,
he's got some ugly-ass feet.
380
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,854
- Really?
- Yeah.
381
00:18:05,922 --> 00:18:08,490
His big toe looks like
a baby bird's head.
382
00:18:08,558 --> 00:18:10,292
I'll take it.
383
00:18:15,798 --> 00:18:18,165
Nobody tells you how
to parent your parents.
384
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:20,134
Yeah, it's tough, man.
385
00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:23,237
It's a very difficult age.
386
00:18:23,305 --> 00:18:25,073
They've got no children
to worry about.
387
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,577
They've got no jobs. They can get
pills from all their friends.
388
00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:30,607
You can't trust them.
389
00:18:30,672 --> 00:18:32,077
Ever since my parents retired,
390
00:18:32,143 --> 00:18:35,149
all they seem to want to do
is gamble my money away.
391
00:18:35,216 --> 00:18:36,522
Stop giving them money.
392
00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:38,320
Oh, it's still their money.
393
00:18:38,386 --> 00:18:40,502
It's just that once they're
dead, it was gonna be mine.
394
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,300
Where's your dad now?
395
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:51,493
In the other room
watching "Judge Judy."
396
00:18:51,561 --> 00:18:54,796
Well, in that case, the ght of
Jack Kennedy is stealing your car.
397
00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:58,400
You're kidding me.
398
00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:03,772
That's it.
I'm calling the cops.
399
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,510
You'd actually send
your dad to jail, Charlie?
400
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,393
Hey, he likes oatmeal and the
toilet's right next to the bed.
401
00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:10,345
He'll love it.
402
00:19:12,227 --> 00:19:14,478
Still not picking up his phone.
403
00:19:14,545 --> 00:19:16,730
Will you relax, Jen? You're
starting to make me nervous.
404
00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:18,530
No, I can't relax,
not when your father
405
00:19:18,598 --> 00:19:20,199
is out there
doing God knows what.
406
00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:22,268
Oh, so when he misbehaves,
he's my father?
407
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,337
Yes, Charlie.
408
00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:26,706
Because he's your father.
409
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,676
Oh, sure, throw that
in my face.
410
00:19:36,316 --> 00:19:38,050
Good evening, folks.
411
00:19:38,117 --> 00:19:41,086
This gentleman was driving a
car that you reported stolen.
412
00:19:41,154 --> 00:19:45,326
And he was at the airport doing
five in a 15-mile-an-hour zone.
413
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,728
Well, at least he's safe.
414
00:19:51,199 --> 00:19:53,200
Could you just tase him
once before you go?
415
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:57,472
Thank you so much for
bringing him home, Officer.
416
00:19:57,539 --> 00:19:59,040
Well, I should get going.
417
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:04,975
Oh, my gosh, I think I parked
in front of a hydrant.
418
00:20:05,043 --> 00:20:07,039
There's no hydrant.
419
00:20:07,107 --> 00:20:08,872
I'm going.
420
00:20:15,044 --> 00:20:17,712
Dad, what the hell were you doing
at the airport driving my car?
421
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:19,480
I don't know.
422
00:20:19,548 --> 00:20:21,649
You do know. You drove there.
423
00:20:21,716 --> 00:20:22,916
I don't want to talk about it.
424
00:20:22,951 --> 00:20:24,191
You wouldn't understand anyway.
425
00:20:24,252 --> 00:20:27,588
Try me.
426
00:20:27,656 --> 00:20:31,125
I was gonna fly back to
Cincinnati and see Corinne.
427
00:20:31,193 --> 00:20:33,627
I got the divorce papers, okay?
428
00:20:33,695 --> 00:20:35,429
She wants to finalize it.
429
00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:39,065
Yeah, I'm sorry, Dad.
That sucks.
430
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,666
It's bad enough
that I'm all alone.
431
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:44,503
Now I get these damn papers
and I lose my mind completely.
432
00:20:44,571 --> 00:20:47,506
So, that explains
all the drinking.
433
00:20:47,574 --> 00:20:51,275
Yeah, that, and I love drinking.
434
00:20:53,411 --> 00:20:55,378
Now I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
435
00:20:55,446 --> 00:20:57,880
Come on, Dad.
436
00:20:57,948 --> 00:20:59,282
You're still a young guy.
437
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,419
- No, I'm not.
- No, you're not.
438
00:21:02,589 --> 00:21:03,749
But you're certainly a catch.
439
00:21:03,758 --> 00:21:04,993
No, I'm not.
440
00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:06,661
No, you're not.
441
00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:09,270
Hey, you still got your health.
442
00:21:09,298 --> 00:21:11,032
I do.
443
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,033
Maybe I'll live a long time.
444
00:21:13,058 --> 00:21:18,558
Sync & corrections by No1
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