Today's my eleventh birthday,
and we're holding the party here in the banquet room at Belle's.
My mom and Aunt Loreta did the decorations.
Aunt Gladys did the food stations.
This is the deejay stand,
where Cousin Maurice is going to be playing his idea of top-10 pre-teen hits.
All that's missing are the guests.
Now... I'm not saying this for you to feel sorry for me,
but there's a very good chance that none of my classmates will show up.
Whether they do or not all depends on what happened last night
with my granddaddy and a woman called Vivica Newby.
And if that seems a little... mysterious,
well, that's because it is.
Sync, corrected by icephoenix www.addic7ed.com
Grownups always make such a fuss over kids' birthday parties.
And my family is no different.
A month before my birthday,
everybody was already in full party mode.
And I think the food station should go right there up against the wall,
and then we'll put the slushie machine right next to it over there!
And I'm going to put the deejay booth right along that back wall.
Y'all going to have so much fun!
And I've already got your downloads. I've got your Heavy D.
I've got your Young MC, and guess who else?
Kris Kross!
If you notice, I never contradict grownups.
There's enough drama turning eleven without getting into personal conflicts.
And besides, they usually do what they want anyway.
I have the perfect party theme: Polka dots!
Yes, girl, we're going to decorate everything polka dots
and round, even the food. Pizzas, doughnuts...
And everybody can wear a polka dot dress or a polka dot tie.
And we'll decorate everything with polka dots.
Does that mean the music will have to be all polkas?
Well... Maybe polka dots is not such a good idea.
Let me think of something... [ Sighs ]
I've found a well-timed question
is the best way to change a grownup's mind.
The invitations are ready to be mailed!
Aren't they adorable?
[ Clears throat ] "You are invited
"to Pamela's eleventh birthday at Belle's Restaurant
at 7:00 P.M. on Sunday." And inside,
there is a self-addressed envelope for everyone to RSVP. What do you think?
Mom... Could we add, instead of presents,
everyone makes a contribution to the American Cancer Society
- in Grandma Belle's name? - Aw, baby, that is so precious!
- Gladys: She's so charitable! - Pam: I'm not much of a hugger myself,
but it's hard to resist when it's a family like mine doing the hugging.
As the day of my birthday approached, plans for the party rapidly accelerated.
I really had no idea what was going on.
Having decided for my own peace of mind,
I simply let the grownups have their fun.
Naturally, I assumed everything was under control,
until last week when disaster struck.
Forgive me if it seems a little melodramatic,
but for my mother, it was a serious setback.
- I don't understand this. - What's up?
- Every RSVP says they can't make it. - So, what, no one's coming?
40 RSVPs. They're all nos!
Well, you told me that Pam was one of the most popular girls in her class.
- She is! - Doesn't sound like it.
I told you her grades were too high... You've got to dumb her down some.
People don't like smart women. Trust me, I know.
Well, I've got to talk to Pam.
Pam?
The RSVPs have come back.
- And, um... - No one's coming, right?
How did you know?
Kenya Newby is having a big bash on the same day,
and everyone's going there.
Kenya is Vivica Newby's daughter, right?
I remember Vivica.
She used to come in here all the time, right after her divorce.
Haven't seen her in ages.
Kenya's mom is taking everyone to Six Flags over Georgia for the whole day.
- Were you invited? - Nope.
The only one who wasn't.
Mom, it's okay. I didn't want a really big party anyways.
There's something fishy about this whole thing.
I've just got to figure out what it is.
- Hey, girls. You hungry? - Loreta: Hey, Daddy.
- Daddy, do you remember a Vivica Newby? - Vivica Newby...
- Vivica Newby. - Attractive, statuesque,
- Little too much makeup for my taste. - Yeah, mine, too.
Why are you asking?
Well, she hasn't been in here for a couple of months.
And after her divorce, she was always in here.
- Vivica Newby... - Yeah, she sat at the bar,
men hovering her all night like moths to a flame.
Wore her blouses so low, you could see right to the next county.
Oh! [ Laughs ]
That Vivica Newby? Oh. Yes, I remember.
Well, she's throwing a party for her daughter
the same day as Pam's birthday.
And now nobody's coming to Pam's party.
Now, why would somebody do a mean thing like that?
Maybe... Just maybe...
It might have something to do with the fact that...
She's a little peeved with me. Latisha?
And why...
would Vivica Newby be peeved at you?
Because I turned her down flat.
What do you mean, you turned her down flat?
Sexually, I... I turned her down sexually.
Both: Sexually?!
You're both grown women. Do I have to draw you pictures?
Well, you're going to have to be more specific.
I don't want to talk about it. Especially to my daughters.
Well, this is not about you and Vivica anymore.
That's right. It's about your granddaughter's birthday,
and the poor girl's heart is broken.
So, I think you at least owe us an explanation.
All right, I'll tell you the whole story.
It was about... three months ago.
And we had closed for the night.
Everyone had gone home. I was sitting at the bar,
going over the night's receipts, when in she comes.
[ Sighs ] Thank God, you're open.
- We're closed. - Not now, you're not.
- I'll have your best cognac. - Look, I'm sorry, but it's after hours.
No worries.
You're not going to let a girl drink alone, are you?
To... unexpected pleasures.
Ah. I have just come from the most boring charity event of my life.
I can't even remember what disease they were raising money for.
[ Both laughing ]
You're not going to keep sitting down there, are you?
- This is my spot. - You're like a leopard...
Can't change your spots? I like that.
I'm kind of a leopard myself. Hmm.
Now, this is so much better, isn't it?
As you know, we leopards like to pounce...
Especially when there's something really juicy we can sink our teeth into.
[ Growls ] [ Laughs ]
Why, Bill! If you weren't so dark, I'd say you were blushing.
I guess I'm a little...
surprised, seeing as how we don't know each other that well.
I've been coming here for over a year now.
I hope you don't think it's because I couldn't resist
- your baked red snapper. - I hadn't thought about it that much.
Well...
Then why don't I give you something to think about then?
Tasty. Really tasty.
I had the tapioca pudding for dessert.
No, no, no. I don't think it was the tapioca pudding.
- But just to make sure... - Uh... Vivica? Vivica?
You are an extremely attractive woman.
- Hmm. Thank you. - And I am...
I am like extremely flattered by all the attention.
- But... I just can't. - You're saying...
- You're not into all this? - I'm just pointing out that...
- There's a time and place for everything. - "Under the sun."
- Oh, you know what I mean? - Hell of a time to quote the Bible.
Um, why don't I make you a strong cup of coffee before you go?
- Am I going? - I think that would be best.
Okay.
But there's one thing I need to do before I leave.
- What's that? - This.
Bye, Bill.
- She slapped you? - Hard!
[ Laughs ] And what did you do?
I walked her to the door, and I haven't seen her since.
Well, now we know why she decided to ruin little Pam's birthday party.
Revenge. Women can be such biotches.
So, now I think there's only one thing for you to do.
You're going to have to call her and apologize.
- She hit me! - But you rejected her.
Well, of course, I did! Look, I hardly know the woman.
Are you telling me that you wanted me to respond?
Well, if you had, Pam wouldn't be in this fix.
I have nothing to apologize for.
At least call her and try to get her to change her mind.
And how am I supposed to do that?
- By taking one for the team. - Oh!
Hello, Vivica? It's Bill Cooper. Really?
Well, what a coincidence. I was thinking of you, too.
T-tonight? What time? Oh, uh...
Right, right, right. Uh, I'll... I'll see you then.
Bye-bye.
- Maurice: Hmm? Mm-hmm? - What'd she say?!
- Good news, right? - She wants to talk to me, too.
- Yeah! - Tonight after we close.
- Oh, that's more than talk. - Good.
Now all you've got to do is find a way to get her to cancel her party.
Yeah, you know how to do that, don't you?
I cannot believe
that my family wants me to take up with a woman I don't even know.
Shoot, it's easy once you get the hang of it.
Dad, you're single, she's single.
It doesn't make much for you to give her a little something-something.
- Just a little bit. - At least be nice to her.
- Yeah, treat her gentle. - For Pam's sake?
Yeah, yeah, all right. Um, please, just leave me alone...
Bill, did you talk to Vivica yet?!
- You, too? - Well, they done told me the whole story.
They're getting together tonight, just the two of them.
- Maurice: Mm-hmm. - Oh, well, then...
Bill, look, now I know you're going to do what's best for Pam.
I know that. I don't doubt it.
But to remind you just how important this thing is...
Look, I want to tell you the story about a little ten-year-old girl
who once gave a birthday party, and no one showed up.
Everyone was supposed to come dressed as a little baby.
That was her theme.
And, so, she stood there in her little baby outfit,
next to a birthday cake with a little baby on it,
with green icing that she had made herself from scratch.
And she waited and waited for hours and hours,
'til she realized not... Not one little boy,
not one little girl was going to come.
And to this day, when I think about that poor little girl
standing there by herself in her little baby outfit,
looking so cute all alone on her little birthday...
Bill, I just... I just can't stop from crying, 'cause that little girl was me.
I know that little girl was you! You've told me that story a hundred times.
- I didn't tell you about the green icing! - The green icing was a good touch.
I made it myself!
- Can I have just a minute to myself? - You blew the whole thing, Auntie.
You need to do this for Pam!
Oh, yeah, that's looks good. That looks real good right there.
Now, I've got to top it off with...
Be out of your hair in a second, Uncle Bill.
You ain't the only one with a rendezvous tonight.
But I've got to tell you, Uncle Bill, you are one lucky son of a gun.
Vivica Newby? As hot as she is?
You know how many guys would kill to be in your shoes?
I can't believe you even turned her down in the first place.
But that was kind of smooth how you did it, though.
'Cause now you've got her coming back here hotter than ever!
That was a smooth move, Uncle Bill, I've got to tell you.
There are going to be two women in Atlanta who are going to sleep good tonight.
Yeah, baby. I know mine is, and I...
- All right, I'm leaving. - Go ahead.
Dad, I want you to know that
if everybody comes to Pam's birthday party tomorrow,
I promise you, as long as I live,
I'm not going to tell anybody what you did to make it happen, okay?
- Thank you. That's good to hear. - All right, I'll see you tomorrow.
Daddy? Now, I don't want to have to remind you what you...
Then don't!
Fine.
[ Sighs ] Gladys: Bill?
Uh.
Just remember that sad little girl
in her baby costume, all alone...
I've got it! Okay? I've got it.
- Maurice: Hey, do your thing, Uncle Bill! - Hey, Maurice! Maurice?
- Yeah? - Uh, you got a minute?
- Yeah. - I've got a question.
Fire away, Uncle Bill.
How do you do it?
I mean, one woman after another without any...
emotional involvement?
Oh, oh. You mean, why I like to flip 'em?
Flipping?
Well, in your time, it was called "one night stand."
- You want to know why I like... - To put it another way, yes.
Well, you have to understand, Uncle Bill, these days, sex and love...
They're just two different things.
I see.
- So, sex to you is like a sport? - Yeah.
- Like, say, football? - Exactly!
You want to spike your ball in the end zone,
light up the scoreboard, take a shower, and go home.
The last thing you want to do is play the same team,
night after night after night.
I guess I've got a lot to learn,
being in love with one woman my whole life.
Yeah, well, that was then and this is now.
Trust me, once you get the hang of it,
you're going to be a whole new man.
- I'll think about that. - All right, you do that,
but I've got to roll.
I've got a little honey waiting for me at the hotel.
She's already in the sheets. She's a little thirsty.
So if I ain't there in twenty minutes, she'll start without me.
[ Clicks tongue ] Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!
- Hello, Bill. - Hello, Vivica.
I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.
Oh, what's an hour here or there?
[ Laughs ] Drink?
No, thank you. Let's get right to it.
I have something you want, you have something I want.
First, let's talk about what you want.
I want you to cancel your party for Kenya,
so everyone can come to my granddaughter's birthday.
- Done. I'll reschedule. - Really?
Yes. As long as I get what I want from you.
And... what would that be?
A weekend away, together...
This Saturday at a bed and breakfast in Savannah.
- Do we have a deal? - It doesn't bother you
that I don't have any romantic feelings toward you?
Not really.
In fact, I prefer that we keep this arrangement strictly physical.
When did women start talking like this?
You didn't get the memo? There are a lot of us these days.
Women who see what they want and go after it.
So, what do you say?
I get you for two days and Pam gets her birthday party.
Yes or no?
- Simple as that? - Simple as that.
You have one minute to make up your mind.
I don't need a minute.
Good.
You can slap me right now.
Now, I don't know exactly what happened
between Grandad and Vivica Newby.
After all, being eleven, my imagination can only go so far.
But I know this... It's way after my party should have started,
and it's obvious no one's going to show up.
And while I can't help but feel a little hurt,
it's nothing compared to what the grownups are going through.
I just couldn't bring myself to be with a woman I don't even know!
- It's okay, Dad. I understand. - Well, I don't. You let Pam down.
- Not to mention, every man in America. - Well, I'm not you.
She's only eleven. You spoiled her big day.
- And I'm not you, either. - You could've got to know her.
All right, everybody, everybody, what... Hey, hey!
What is done is done.
Now we have to make the best of it.
- I know, but... - Now, everybody look happy!
♪ It's your birthday, be happy. ♪
♪ It's your birthday, make a wish now. ♪
♪ It's your birthday, blow out the candles. ♪
♪ It's your birthday, live forever. ♪
♪ It's your birthday... ♪ Hey, hey, hey!
- She... She gets it. - Wow! What a great cake!
Make a wish and blow out the candles, honey.
Maurice: Come on, come on. Come on, you can do it!
One more, one more, one more! [ Cheers and applause ]
- So, who wants the first piece? - Jill: That would be me!
Maurice: Ooh, mama gets a big piece!
- Chocolate. Delicious. - Maurice: That looks good.
Jimmy? Hi!
- I'm sorry I'm late. - Party's just starting.
This is Jimmy Barnes. Jimmy, that's my mom,
my Aunts Gladys and Loreta,
- my Cousin Maurice, and my grandad. - Hi.
I figured you'd be at Kenya Newby's party.
I thought it'd be more fun if I came here.
- Would you like a piece of cake? - Terrific.
Thank you.
- Ugh. I hate this song. - Me, too.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
But we should probably keep dancing a little longer, anyways.
My family thinks we look cute together.
Well, let me teach you.
See, you keep your hand right here on my shoulder,
and I put my hand on your waist, and we put our hands up here.
Then we do something called the box step, which goes up...
Side... Back... And to the other side.
Then you just repeat.
Sync, corrected by icephoenix www.addic7ed.com
Pam: In the end, it turned out not to be such a bad party, after all.
In fact, my guess is,
when I look back on this when I'm older, like thirteen,
I'll probably put this up there with one of my best parties ever.
Because among other things,
I learned that all you need is one other person
to make a really great party.