1 00:00:01,340 --> 00:00:03,246 *** 2 00:00:03,366 --> 00:00:04,512 *** 3 00:00:04,632 --> 00:00:06,787 *** 4 00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:09,480 *** 5 00:00:09,738 --> 00:00:11,520 *** 6 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,842 *** 7 00:00:13,962 --> 00:00:15,481 *** 8 00:00:16,871 --> 00:00:19,434 *** 9 00:00:19,554 --> 00:00:20,196 *** 10 00:00:20,316 --> 00:00:23,541 *** 11 00:00:23,908 --> 00:00:25,186 *** 12 00:00:25,306 --> 00:00:27,188 *** 13 00:00:27,308 --> 00:00:28,615 *** 14 00:00:28,735 --> 00:00:32,892 *** 15 00:00:33,224 --> 00:00:34,552 *** 16 00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:38,547 *** 17 00:00:39,634 --> 00:00:45,262 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 18 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,832 ( music playing ) 19 00:01:23,598 --> 00:01:25,499 ( phone ringing ) 20 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,481 Three... 21 00:01:40,515 --> 00:01:42,383 four... 22 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:43,750 five... 23 00:01:43,818 --> 00:01:45,486 six... 24 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,587 seven... 25 00:01:46,621 --> 00:01:47,855 eight. 26 00:01:53,796 --> 00:01:56,631 ( keys jingling ) 27 00:02:09,245 --> 00:02:12,247 One, two, three, 28 00:02:12,281 --> 00:02:16,952 four, five, six, 29 00:02:16,987 --> 00:02:20,022 seven, eight. 30 00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:27,148 ( muffled ) One, two, three, 31 00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:30,333 four, five, six, seven, eight. 32 00:02:39,144 --> 00:02:41,205 I just can't stop thinking about Jessa, you know? 33 00:02:41,331 --> 00:02:42,999 Like, where is she? 34 00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:45,134 What is she wearing? Is it linen? 35 00:02:45,169 --> 00:02:47,270 What language is she speaking, you know? 36 00:02:47,304 --> 00:02:48,404 Is she in a tropical climate 37 00:02:48,439 --> 00:02:49,439 or, like, somewhere up high? 38 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,140 Oh, my God. Is she warm enough? 39 00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,609 She's warm enough. 40 00:02:52,643 --> 00:02:54,210 She's definitely warm enough. 41 00:02:54,245 --> 00:02:56,379 Honestly, she's probably better off than any of us. 42 00:02:56,413 --> 00:02:58,114 She's a fucking hustler, you know? 43 00:02:58,148 --> 00:03:00,082 And not in the positive sense of that word. 44 00:03:00,117 --> 00:03:02,485 I just-- I miss her so much. 45 00:03:02,519 --> 00:03:03,753 Will you hold these? 46 00:03:03,788 --> 00:03:05,188 Shosh, you're falling for this. 47 00:03:05,222 --> 00:03:06,489 This is what she does. 48 00:03:06,523 --> 00:03:08,291 She, like, fucks shit up, leaves, 49 00:03:08,325 --> 00:03:09,559 and blames it on, like, her marriage 50 00:03:09,593 --> 00:03:10,627 or her relationship with her dad. 51 00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:11,895 But, like, this is what she does. 52 00:03:11,929 --> 00:03:13,129 This is classic Jessa. 53 00:03:13,164 --> 00:03:14,664 I just don't think Hannah seems to care. 54 00:03:14,698 --> 00:03:15,865 She does care. She's just working 55 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,167 really hard on her book. 56 00:03:17,201 --> 00:03:18,969 Oh, my God. We totally forgot to talk about Charlie 57 00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:21,104 selling his app, "Forbid." 58 00:03:21,138 --> 00:03:23,707 Wait, what? Charlie has an app? 59 00:03:23,741 --> 00:03:26,009 - Yeah. - Yeah. Forbid. 60 00:03:26,043 --> 00:03:28,611 He sold it to, like, a very esteemed business tycoon 61 00:03:28,645 --> 00:03:30,112 for, like, a very large sum of money 62 00:03:30,147 --> 00:03:32,081 and now he has a corner office 63 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:33,849 in said tycoon's Chelsea building 64 00:03:33,883 --> 00:03:35,017 with, like, 11 employees. 65 00:03:35,051 --> 00:03:37,185 - Charlie has a company? - Yeah. 66 00:03:37,253 --> 00:03:39,187 He's basically become a bougie nightmare. 67 00:03:41,357 --> 00:03:43,092 I'm sorry. 68 00:03:43,126 --> 00:03:44,861 I have-- I have to go. 69 00:03:46,863 --> 00:03:48,464 We may never see her again. 70 00:03:48,498 --> 00:03:50,199 I do not trust anyone anymore. 71 00:03:50,233 --> 00:03:53,136 Seriously, the fabric of life is just-- 72 00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:54,537 Radhika! 73 00:03:54,571 --> 00:03:56,339 Oh, my God. Shoshanna? 74 00:03:56,373 --> 00:03:57,773 Radhika! 75 00:03:57,808 --> 00:03:58,941 Shoshie! 76 00:03:58,975 --> 00:04:01,076 Oh, my God. Radhika! 77 00:04:02,545 --> 00:04:04,613 Radhi-- you're rollerblading. 78 00:04:04,647 --> 00:04:06,548 Aren't these so funny and vintage? 79 00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:08,284 ( chuckles ) Vintage. 80 00:04:08,318 --> 00:04:10,438 You're about to make me cry and I don't even know you. 81 00:04:11,755 --> 00:04:13,222 This is my boyfriend Ray. 82 00:04:13,256 --> 00:04:16,125 Oh, love it. 83 00:04:16,159 --> 00:04:19,127 Now I know where you've been all summer. 84 00:04:19,162 --> 00:04:21,230 Um, I mean, like, what do you mean? 85 00:04:21,264 --> 00:04:22,965 I've-- I'm, like, right here. 86 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,400 You know, I haven't-- I've been here. 87 00:04:24,434 --> 00:04:26,603 Well, I'm just so happy to see you. 88 00:04:26,637 --> 00:04:28,940 You guys should come to my impromptu tonight. 89 00:04:28,974 --> 00:04:31,242 We will so come to your party. 90 00:04:31,277 --> 00:04:33,345 - Oh, my God. - Great, I'll text you the deets. 91 00:04:33,379 --> 00:04:35,179 I'm going to J.Crew. I'm going shopping, 92 00:04:35,214 --> 00:04:36,247 and I'm gonna be so late. 93 00:04:36,282 --> 00:04:38,150 - Oh, love you. - Bye, lovie. 94 00:04:38,184 --> 00:04:39,818 - Kisses. Bye. - Bye. 95 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,421 She's the richest Hindi I know. 96 00:04:42,455 --> 00:04:44,556 We are not going to that party tonight. 97 00:04:44,591 --> 00:04:46,025 Why? 98 00:04:46,059 --> 00:04:48,327 I don't even know where to begin explaining that to you. 99 00:04:48,361 --> 00:04:50,129 Um, do I need to explain to you 100 00:04:50,163 --> 00:04:52,298 that she said, "I know where you have been all summer"? 101 00:04:52,332 --> 00:04:53,700 Okay, seriously? 102 00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,703 I am a girl who has found love and then disappeared, 103 00:04:56,737 --> 00:04:58,705 and my worst nightmare is that someone knows 104 00:04:58,739 --> 00:05:00,300 or thinks that I've died when I haven't, 105 00:05:00,308 --> 00:05:01,875 and I'm living that. 106 00:05:01,909 --> 00:05:03,777 First of all, you know I don't like it 107 00:05:03,811 --> 00:05:05,011 when you use air quotes. 108 00:05:05,046 --> 00:05:06,846 Pantomime to express your emotions is a crutch. 109 00:05:06,881 --> 00:05:08,181 We've talked about that. 110 00:05:08,215 --> 00:05:10,049 Secondly, I'm a 33-year-old man. 111 00:05:10,084 --> 00:05:11,250 It's creepy for me to go to a college party. 112 00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:12,985 You have to understand that. 113 00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,920 I think it's creepy for a college senior to go to a college party. 114 00:05:14,955 --> 00:05:17,056 Okay, well, I don't think it's creepy and I'm going. 115 00:05:17,090 --> 00:05:18,657 Okay, well, fine. Have a good time. 116 00:05:18,692 --> 00:05:21,359 - Fine. - Fine. 117 00:05:21,394 --> 00:05:23,328 ( groans ) 118 00:05:26,098 --> 00:05:27,832 Shosh! 119 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:29,568 I would like to thank everybody 120 00:05:29,602 --> 00:05:31,570 that spoke this afternoon. 121 00:05:31,604 --> 00:05:33,772 Now, final order of business. 122 00:05:33,806 --> 00:05:35,340 Next week's cookies. 123 00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:37,609 I've been the only person buying cookies 124 00:05:37,644 --> 00:05:39,245 for the last three or four weeks. 125 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:40,947 And it might be nice 126 00:05:40,981 --> 00:05:43,783 if somebody else decided to step up and buy a batch. 127 00:05:45,786 --> 00:05:48,154 Aw, come on, guys. It's part of the deal. 128 00:05:48,188 --> 00:05:50,489 Hi, I'm Adam and I'm an alcoholic. 129 00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:52,424 Group: Hi, Adam. 130 00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:54,059 - Um... - Hi, Adam. 131 00:05:54,094 --> 00:05:56,395 I've been sober since I was 17. 132 00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:57,997 Um... 133 00:05:58,031 --> 00:05:59,365 I knew I had a problem pretty early on 134 00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:01,567 and I dealt with it because I didn't want to wait 135 00:06:01,601 --> 00:06:03,936 and I knew it would just get worse. 136 00:06:04,004 --> 00:06:05,571 I felt pretty solid after I stopped drinking. 137 00:06:05,605 --> 00:06:07,707 I stopped coming to as many meetings, 138 00:06:07,741 --> 00:06:10,877 but lately I haven't felt so solid anymore, so... 139 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,914 I have this girlfriend who at first I didn't like very much. 140 00:06:14,948 --> 00:06:17,182 Or I didn't take her very seriously, I guess. 141 00:06:17,216 --> 00:06:19,685 She just seemed like, you know, a piece of ass. 142 00:06:19,719 --> 00:06:22,387 But she was persistent, man. 143 00:06:22,422 --> 00:06:24,422 And she just hung around 144 00:06:24,457 --> 00:06:27,192 and hung around and showed up at my place. 145 00:06:27,227 --> 00:06:31,629 And gradually it started to feel better when she was there. 146 00:06:31,664 --> 00:06:33,265 It wasn't love the way I imagined it. 147 00:06:33,299 --> 00:06:35,967 I just felt weird if I didn't know what she was up to or whatever. 148 00:06:36,002 --> 00:06:37,502 And I liked knowing that she was just gonna be there 149 00:06:37,537 --> 00:06:40,339 and-- warm and staying the night. 150 00:06:40,373 --> 00:06:42,774 And she acted like I was teaching her everything 151 00:06:42,809 --> 00:06:45,811 about fucking history, 152 00:06:45,845 --> 00:06:47,212 about sex. 153 00:06:47,247 --> 00:06:49,281 She didn't know what street Central Park started on 154 00:06:49,315 --> 00:06:51,683 or how to use soap and I showed her. 155 00:06:51,718 --> 00:06:55,053 And I wanted that chance to show someone everything. 156 00:06:55,088 --> 00:06:57,656 But she changed her mind about me and it was that fast. 157 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,428 I'm so exhausted. 158 00:07:05,465 --> 00:07:09,167 Okay. 159 00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:10,735 And I'll bring cookies. 160 00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:12,036 I don't really like cookies that much, 161 00:07:12,071 --> 00:07:14,405 so don't get mad at me if I bring the wrong shit. 162 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,675 Thank you, Adam. 163 00:07:18,844 --> 00:07:20,878 So, Adam's bringing the cookies. 164 00:07:25,051 --> 00:07:27,386 Honey. 165 00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,621 - Me? - Yeah, you. 166 00:07:29,656 --> 00:07:32,157 Yeah, uh, hi. 167 00:07:32,191 --> 00:07:35,560 Oh, my, God's teeth. You are tall. 168 00:07:35,595 --> 00:07:36,995 Yeah, I'm a little taller than average, yeah. 169 00:07:37,029 --> 00:07:38,129 ( laughs ) 170 00:07:38,164 --> 00:07:39,864 How tall are you, 6'2"? 171 00:07:39,898 --> 00:07:41,499 - 6'3". - Ha! 172 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:43,534 That's a very respectable height. 173 00:07:43,569 --> 00:07:45,570 Oh, my God. Yeah, that's good. 174 00:07:45,604 --> 00:07:48,072 I'm en-- I'm enjoying it, yeah. 175 00:07:48,107 --> 00:07:50,375 Yeah, listen. I gotta tell ya. 176 00:07:50,409 --> 00:07:52,877 I'm just gonna tell ya. I'm very impressed by you. 177 00:07:52,912 --> 00:07:54,946 Your honesty. 178 00:07:54,981 --> 00:07:57,749 I want you to meet my daughter. 179 00:07:57,784 --> 00:07:59,418 I want you to. 180 00:07:59,452 --> 00:08:01,820 Really, I don't even usually encourage her dating 181 00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:04,656 because she is a very nice, busy girl. 182 00:08:04,691 --> 00:08:09,428 But God damn if you're not cuter than a dimple on a bug's ass. 183 00:08:09,462 --> 00:08:10,929 - Jesus Christ. - Ha! 184 00:08:10,964 --> 00:08:12,130 - ( laughs ) - Oh, thank you. 185 00:08:12,165 --> 00:08:13,732 - Yeah. - That was scary. 186 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,401 - Really? But I like you. - No. 187 00:08:15,435 --> 00:08:16,669 Oh, thanks-- thanks. 188 00:08:16,703 --> 00:08:18,904 Um, uh, no. 189 00:08:18,938 --> 00:08:20,572 Wonderful. So you'll give her a call. 190 00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:22,675 You'll give her a call. Her name is Natalia. 191 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:25,111 I will tell her that you'll be calling her. 192 00:08:25,145 --> 00:08:27,046 I'll tell her you'll be calling her. 193 00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:28,514 Oh, you've got a phone, right? 194 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,984 Yes, I do. I do have a phone. 195 00:08:31,018 --> 00:08:32,652 Fabulous. 196 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,054 I mean fabulous. 197 00:08:34,088 --> 00:08:35,522 - Fabulous. - Fabulous. 198 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,856 Yeah. 199 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,858 ( elevator dings ) 200 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,631 Man: So, I'm gonna have my assistant send over 201 00:08:45,666 --> 00:08:46,966 the new Jack Johnson album. You're gonna love it. 202 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,668 Nah, dude, that's all right. 203 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,937 - I'm not too in-- - Trust me, you're gonna love it, okay? 204 00:08:50,971 --> 00:08:52,972 And when you love it, we're going the 29th. 205 00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,307 - All right. - Take care. 206 00:08:54,341 --> 00:08:56,376 Okay, see ya. 207 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,078 Funny. 208 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,882 Excuse me, can I help you? 209 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:09,055 Mindy, how is the Rothberry account? 210 00:09:09,089 --> 00:09:10,690 Did that go well? 211 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:11,891 There is no Rothberry account. 212 00:09:11,925 --> 00:09:13,259 You're just making stuff up now? 213 00:09:13,294 --> 00:09:15,228 You're such a good employee. 214 00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:16,830 All right, I'll see you later. 215 00:09:16,864 --> 00:09:18,498 Yo. 216 00:09:20,635 --> 00:09:22,069 Yo. 217 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,805 Hi. 218 00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:26,473 Hi. 219 00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:41,054 Hi, this message is for Natalia. 220 00:09:41,088 --> 00:09:43,256 Uh, I'm Adam... 221 00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,124 Sackler. 222 00:09:45,159 --> 00:09:47,494 Your mother Cloris gave me your number 223 00:09:47,528 --> 00:09:52,032 and suggested that I call you. 224 00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:54,702 So, here I am. 225 00:09:54,736 --> 00:09:57,070 Um, so... 226 00:09:57,105 --> 00:09:58,405 hello! 227 00:09:58,439 --> 00:09:59,873 Hello, yes, hi. 228 00:09:59,907 --> 00:10:01,942 This is a fucking landline. 229 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,710 Whoa. 230 00:10:05,279 --> 00:10:06,946 Oh, you would. Great. 231 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,314 Great. 232 00:10:08,348 --> 00:10:10,583 Yes, I'll call you back with a spot. 233 00:10:10,617 --> 00:10:12,618 You'll know me. I'm very tall. 234 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,521 And, uh, semi-dashing. 235 00:10:15,556 --> 00:10:18,958 Your mother said you had great, um, teeth, 236 00:10:18,992 --> 00:10:21,094 so I'll be lookin' at you. 237 00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:22,662 Like a creep. 238 00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:26,332 Okay. 239 00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:28,401 Yes, nice to talk to you. 240 00:10:28,435 --> 00:10:30,470 Adios. 241 00:10:37,944 --> 00:10:39,545 I'll be staring at you like a creep, 242 00:10:39,579 --> 00:10:41,213 'cause I'm a creep. 243 00:10:41,248 --> 00:10:43,482 Hi, Natalia. I'm a creep. 244 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,018 Fuck. 245 00:10:46,053 --> 00:10:47,453 This place is crazy. 246 00:10:47,488 --> 00:10:48,855 Yeah, well, it's the guy that bought the app. 247 00:10:48,889 --> 00:10:51,190 - He had the extra space for us. - Oh, I see. 248 00:10:51,225 --> 00:10:52,859 So, what, you were just in the neighborhood? 249 00:10:52,893 --> 00:10:54,827 Yeah, yeah. I was just running some errands. 250 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,396 I mean, Chelsea's really, really central, and then I was like, 251 00:10:57,431 --> 00:10:59,831 I have an appointment after and I haven't seen you in a while, 252 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,134 so I just thought, why don't I just stop by? 253 00:11:01,168 --> 00:11:02,502 - And so I just, like... - Yeah. 254 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,137 - figured out where it was and-- - All right. 255 00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,305 - Okay, are you okay? - Yeah. 256 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:08,841 Okay, 'cause you seem kinda all over the place. 257 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,510 - I don't know. - No, no, no, no. 258 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,011 I'm just here for support. 259 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,413 Yeah? From me or for me? 260 00:11:13,447 --> 00:11:15,315 - What? - Okay, so... 261 00:11:15,349 --> 00:11:16,650 that's my office there. 262 00:11:16,684 --> 00:11:17,724 There's the kitchen there. 263 00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:19,586 Free candy. 264 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,187 I'm not really that into it, but it makes people happy. 265 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,555 - That's so cool. - You know? 266 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,056 - That's very cool. - It's pretty cool. 267 00:11:24,091 --> 00:11:26,025 - Yeah? Oh. - Charlie, when you have a moment. 268 00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:27,560 I have some mock-ups of the interface 269 00:11:27,594 --> 00:11:28,928 that I think are closer to what you imagined. 270 00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:30,396 Oh, right. Okay, cool. 271 00:11:30,431 --> 00:11:31,931 I'll be there in, like, one minute, Marla. 272 00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:33,766 Thank you. 273 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:34,868 Yep. 274 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,102 What is she working on? 275 00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:37,904 Uh, well, we're developing these other apps 276 00:11:37,938 --> 00:11:39,339 in the vein of Forbid. 277 00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:40,974 And our people are really responding to software 278 00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:42,876 that protects them from themselves, you know? 279 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,110 Or other people. 280 00:11:44,145 --> 00:11:46,145 I'm sorry to be so behind the times, 281 00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:48,448 but what exactly does Forbid do? 282 00:11:48,482 --> 00:11:49,482 - Um-- - Hey, Charlie. 283 00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:51,851 Um-- oh, hey. Uh... 284 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,888 It prevents you from calling people that you shouldn't call, 285 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:58,091 be it a unrequited love or someone that fired you. 286 00:11:58,125 --> 00:11:59,359 But if you want to call them, 287 00:11:59,393 --> 00:12:01,394 then you have to pay $10 to "unforbid." 288 00:12:01,428 --> 00:12:02,995 - Got it. - So the app is free, 289 00:12:03,029 --> 00:12:04,329 but breaking your word to yourself isn't. 290 00:12:04,364 --> 00:12:07,065 - Oh. That's smart. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 291 00:12:07,099 --> 00:12:09,801 Well, I mean, you were the inspiration, actually. 292 00:12:09,835 --> 00:12:13,037 I started it right after we first broke up. 293 00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,073 That's weird. 294 00:12:15,107 --> 00:12:16,574 No. 295 00:12:16,609 --> 00:12:18,376 I mean, it makes sense. 296 00:12:18,411 --> 00:12:21,412 At least it turned out really well for you, right? 297 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,148 No, I mean, everything turned out great. 298 00:12:24,183 --> 00:12:25,750 Yeah. It's awesome. 299 00:12:25,784 --> 00:12:29,586 Yeah. I mean, I hope you got paid a lot of money for it. 300 00:12:29,621 --> 00:12:30,954 - They paid me a shitload. - Good. 301 00:12:30,989 --> 00:12:32,922 - No, it's not that much. - Oh. 302 00:12:32,957 --> 00:12:34,658 But enough. 303 00:12:34,692 --> 00:12:36,593 - Good. - Yeah. 304 00:12:36,627 --> 00:12:38,261 - Well-- - Do you need money? 305 00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:39,963 - Is that why you're here? - Oh, my God, no. 306 00:12:39,997 --> 00:12:41,798 - ( siren blaring ) - Charlie. 307 00:12:41,832 --> 00:12:43,333 - What? Oh, my God. - Charlie. 308 00:12:43,401 --> 00:12:45,535 Oh, fuck. Yes, that's right. 309 00:12:45,570 --> 00:12:47,337 - We gotta go do this. - What's happening? 310 00:12:47,371 --> 00:12:48,872 Oh, the office next door. 311 00:12:48,906 --> 00:12:50,941 They're doing a lip-dub thing for their YouTube channel. 312 00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:53,210 - Lip-dub. - Yeah, sorry. 313 00:12:53,244 --> 00:12:54,211 ( music playing ) 314 00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:55,979 Lip-dub. Come on. 315 00:13:09,294 --> 00:13:11,395 Where is she? 316 00:13:11,429 --> 00:13:14,198 I always factor in a Hannah cushion 317 00:13:14,232 --> 00:13:16,800 of 15 to 45 minutes. 318 00:13:17,902 --> 00:13:19,670 Oh, oh, oh. 319 00:13:19,704 --> 00:13:22,606 - Hi. - Hi. 320 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,174 Sorry I'm late. I was working. 321 00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,043 Oh, well, if you get in the zone, 322 00:13:26,077 --> 00:13:27,845 you get in the zone. No fears, bro. 323 00:13:27,879 --> 00:13:30,414 We had such a good time at the museum yesterday. 324 00:13:30,448 --> 00:13:33,717 And today was the commencement address at the conference. 325 00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:36,487 It has been such an awesome conference. 326 00:13:36,521 --> 00:13:38,389 I never thought I'd meet so many other women 327 00:13:38,423 --> 00:13:41,025 that feel the same way I do about Ann Patchett. 328 00:13:44,162 --> 00:13:46,097 What about Ann Patchett? 329 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,782 ( Italian music playing ) 330 00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,392 Holy shit. 331 00:14:16,427 --> 00:14:19,028 Oh, myod. I love my mom. 332 00:14:22,299 --> 00:14:24,000 I'm excited about Judy Collins. 333 00:14:24,034 --> 00:14:25,802 Judy is so timeless. 334 00:14:25,836 --> 00:14:27,903 I'm just as happy now to see her perform 335 00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:30,406 as when I was in my barefoot days. 336 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,076 You guys, things are going really, really well with my book. 337 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:34,544 You know, my first pages are due next week 338 00:14:34,578 --> 00:14:36,218 and I've gotten a lot done, so I feel like 339 00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:38,281 if I continue at this rate, then... 340 00:14:38,315 --> 00:14:42,752 I'm gonna get there quickly with the book. 341 00:14:42,787 --> 00:14:44,620 What's up, honey? 342 00:14:44,655 --> 00:14:45,922 Loreen. 343 00:14:45,956 --> 00:14:48,524 Nothing, I'm just telling you about my book. 344 00:14:48,559 --> 00:14:50,727 - You're counting to eight. - Loreen. 345 00:14:50,761 --> 00:14:52,262 - No, she's counting. - Maybe after the show. 346 00:14:52,296 --> 00:14:53,496 No, I'm not. 347 00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:55,264 I'm not. 348 00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:58,267 Look, if your head is filling up and you're getting count-y, 349 00:14:58,335 --> 00:14:59,835 we need to know. 350 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,838 We can help you, but not if you don't let us know. 351 00:15:01,872 --> 00:15:03,506 Well, how would you help me? 352 00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:05,008 If it was going on, theoretically, 353 00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:06,443 which it isn't, so I don't need help. 354 00:15:06,477 --> 00:15:08,212 We'd bring you home for a little bit 355 00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:11,148 and get you straightened out with Dr.... 356 00:15:11,182 --> 00:15:12,483 - Schupak. - Schupak. 357 00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:14,651 With your OCD. 358 00:15:14,686 --> 00:15:17,421 Dr. Schupak is a pediatrician, okay? 359 00:15:17,455 --> 00:15:18,923 And I don't have OCD. 360 00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:21,359 If I did have OCD, I would tell you 361 00:15:21,393 --> 00:15:23,328 because I wouldn't be able to hold that in. 362 00:15:23,396 --> 00:15:26,732 Sweetie, you're not holding it in. 363 00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:28,967 I'm not holding it in 'cause I don't have to hold it in 364 00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:31,136 because it's not going on, Mom. 365 00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:34,339 And if it was, don't you think that I would say something to you about it? 366 00:15:34,374 --> 00:15:38,043 Okay, it hurts me more than it hurts you. 367 00:15:38,078 --> 00:15:40,646 I'm the one who has to experience it, not you. 368 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,581 I'm the one who has to experience it. 369 00:15:42,615 --> 00:15:44,850 You think we didn't experience it? 370 00:15:44,885 --> 00:15:46,952 You think we didn't suffer, 371 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,521 worrying about whether you'd have a normal life? 372 00:15:48,555 --> 00:15:49,822 - Mom. - No. 373 00:15:49,856 --> 00:15:51,524 We don't know why you had OCD. 374 00:15:51,558 --> 00:15:52,725 We don't know why. 375 00:15:52,759 --> 00:15:53,926 I mean, we're still married. 376 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,194 We never raised a hand to you. 377 00:15:55,228 --> 00:15:56,562 - Of course not. - It's not our fault. 378 00:15:56,597 --> 00:15:58,164 - Tad: Okay. - Well, it's genetic, 379 00:15:58,198 --> 00:16:00,567 which is sort of the ultimate "your fault," so-- 380 00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:02,302 Oh, come on. 381 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,704 Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, 382 00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:05,806 will you please welcome back to Cafe Carlisle 383 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,275 Ms. Judy Collins? 384 00:16:08,309 --> 00:16:09,609 Oh. 385 00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:21,887 Thank you so much. 386 00:16:21,921 --> 00:16:25,591 ♪ Sometimes I remember the old days ♪ 387 00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:28,861 ♪ When the world was filled with sorrow ♪ 388 00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:31,697 ♪ You might've thought I was livin' ♪ 389 00:16:31,732 --> 00:16:34,234 ♪ I was all alone ♪ 390 00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:39,205 ♪ In my heart, the rain was falling ♪ 391 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:43,043 ♪ The wind blew, the night was callin' ♪ 392 00:16:43,077 --> 00:16:45,445 ♪ Come back, come back ♪ 393 00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:49,716 ♪ I'm all you've ever known. ♪ 394 00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:52,786 No, I work with a private eye. 395 00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,388 You work for a private eye? 396 00:16:54,422 --> 00:16:55,956 Yeah, and I love it. 397 00:16:55,990 --> 00:16:58,592 Because sometimes he uses me as the decoy. 398 00:16:59,694 --> 00:17:01,995 - No fuckin' way. - Mm, yes way. 399 00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,964 He lets me be the girl that distracts, you know? 400 00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,932 Like, at a bar or something, 401 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,135 so he can collect documents. 402 00:17:08,169 --> 00:17:09,903 - Unreal. - Mm-hmm. 403 00:17:09,938 --> 00:17:12,940 Is that why you're here now, as a decoy? 404 00:17:12,974 --> 00:17:15,309 ( laughs ) No, I'm here because my mom said 405 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:17,578 that you were a very nice boy. 406 00:17:17,613 --> 00:17:19,480 With a fresh look. 407 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:22,883 Well, I like your mom. 408 00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:24,051 ( laughing ) 409 00:17:24,987 --> 00:17:28,556 She's very, uh... 410 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,092 - ferocious. - She is. 411 00:17:31,126 --> 00:17:32,827 Yes, that's one word for it. 412 00:17:32,861 --> 00:17:35,496 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 413 00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:37,198 You're very easy to talk to. 414 00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:38,833 I thought this was gonna suck ass, 415 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,234 but you're very easy to talk to. 416 00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:41,703 Okay, good. 417 00:17:43,139 --> 00:17:45,206 That's great. I just-- I think that dating is awful. 418 00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:47,375 I just don't understand people who can go out with someone 419 00:17:47,409 --> 00:17:48,743 and be so relaxed about it. 420 00:17:48,811 --> 00:17:49,812 I know, I can't be relaxed. 421 00:17:49,846 --> 00:17:51,446 I'm fucking sweating bullets over here. 422 00:17:51,481 --> 00:17:52,882 I've had to pee for the past 30 minutes. 423 00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:54,751 ( laughing ) 424 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,301 Miss? 425 00:18:10,336 --> 00:18:12,504 Miss? Who are you here to see? 426 00:18:12,538 --> 00:18:14,006 Oh, uh, sorry. 427 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,041 Radhika, G78. 428 00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:18,778 Of course. Radhika's a party girl. 429 00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:20,346 You have a lovely evening. 430 00:18:21,415 --> 00:18:24,583 Um, thank-- thank-- you, too. 431 00:18:27,721 --> 00:18:30,523 ♪ And is looking for his fun ♪ 432 00:18:30,557 --> 00:18:33,959 ♪ Someday soon I'm going with him ♪ 433 00:18:33,994 --> 00:18:38,063 ♪ Someday soon ♪ 434 00:18:38,098 --> 00:18:41,367 ♪ My parents, they can't stand him ♪ 435 00:18:41,401 --> 00:18:45,738 ♪ 'Cause he works the rodeo ♪ 436 00:18:45,772 --> 00:18:47,740 ♪ My father says that he ♪ 437 00:18:47,774 --> 00:18:51,811 ♪ Will leave me cryin' ♪ 438 00:18:51,845 --> 00:18:56,483 ♪ Oh, I would follow him right down... ♪ 439 00:18:56,518 --> 00:18:59,019 What the fuck? You just hit me like five times. 440 00:19:00,788 --> 00:19:02,089 It was eight times. 441 00:19:02,123 --> 00:19:04,191 ♪ Someday soon ♪ 442 00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,659 Honey, where are you going? 443 00:19:07,095 --> 00:19:09,930 ♪ When he comes to call my pa ♪ 444 00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:13,601 ♪ He ain't got a good word to say. ♪ 445 00:19:13,635 --> 00:19:16,070 You are fine and good. You are fine and good. 446 00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:18,339 You are fine and good. You are fine and good. 447 00:19:18,373 --> 00:19:21,041 You are fine and good. You are fine and good. 448 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:23,143 You are fine and good. You are fine and good. 449 00:19:25,013 --> 00:19:27,281 You are good and fine. You are good and fine. 450 00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:29,350 You are good and fine. You are good and fine. 451 00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:32,219 So, I mean, it's just like, between me and Marnie and Ray, 452 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,987 it's kind of like an orphanage, you know what I mean? 453 00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:36,056 Do not get me wrong, I love Ray. 454 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,958 And it's, like, great having Marnie around when I'm not 455 00:19:37,992 --> 00:19:39,759 solving her life, which is, like, all the time. 456 00:19:39,794 --> 00:19:41,761 But it's just like, when is Shosh time? 457 00:19:41,796 --> 00:19:43,262 - You know? - Yeah. 458 00:19:43,297 --> 00:19:45,298 Anyways, I've just been thinking a lot about growing up recently, 459 00:19:45,332 --> 00:19:48,301 and, like, I realized that I'm always gonna be surrounded by people. 460 00:19:48,335 --> 00:19:50,971 Like, always. And they're always gonna need something from me. 461 00:19:51,005 --> 00:19:52,939 Like, if it's not my boss, it'll be my husband 462 00:19:52,973 --> 00:19:55,575 or it'll be my kids or, like, my Aunt Eileen, who has no one 463 00:19:55,609 --> 00:19:57,944 and I'm gonna have to, like, coddle and feed her when she gets older, you know? 464 00:19:57,978 --> 00:20:00,780 So, like, I just think that this living experience 465 00:20:00,814 --> 00:20:02,749 is a really great opportunity to learn 466 00:20:02,783 --> 00:20:04,051 what it's gonna be like when I'm an adult. 467 00:20:04,085 --> 00:20:05,819 When my kids actually need things from me. 468 00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:06,954 Like, when I have to clothe and feed them. 469 00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:09,090 - And, like, it's-- - Hey, asshole. 470 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,591 Literally the one thing I told you 471 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,060 was not to ash in my mermaid. 472 00:20:12,094 --> 00:20:14,029 Ugh. 473 00:20:25,008 --> 00:20:26,408 You leaving already? 474 00:20:27,944 --> 00:20:29,178 Uh, yeah. 475 00:20:29,212 --> 00:20:31,413 It's not a cool vibe up there? 476 00:20:31,448 --> 00:20:34,283 Um, it's-- no, it's, like-- uh, it's fine. 477 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:37,386 I think just not-- I think I'm not a party person. 478 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,154 Me neither. 479 00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:40,488 Really? 480 00:20:40,523 --> 00:20:43,124 Well, I'm more into clubs and stuff. 481 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,195 Um, yeah-- yeah, me, too. 482 00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,396 Totally into clubs. 483 00:20:48,431 --> 00:20:49,764 That's maybe where I've seen you. 484 00:20:49,798 --> 00:20:51,599 I feel like I've seen you in a club or something. 485 00:20:51,634 --> 00:20:53,668 I mean, that's, like-- yeah. 486 00:20:53,702 --> 00:20:55,837 That's really possible that you've seen me at a club. 487 00:20:55,872 --> 00:20:57,973 That's, like, totally possible. 488 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,274 What's your name? 489 00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:02,810 Shoshanna. 490 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,312 That's a nice name. 491 00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,947 I never heard it before. 492 00:21:05,982 --> 00:21:07,516 Is it, like, Muslim or something? 493 00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:09,818 Sort of. 494 00:21:11,921 --> 00:21:13,321 I'm sorry if this is, like, really insulting, 495 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,824 but you're, like, really good-looking for a doorman. 496 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,659 Thank you. 497 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,394 I think you're beautiful. 498 00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:24,999 Um, thank you, too. 499 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,434 Thank you. 500 00:21:32,842 --> 00:21:34,943 What happens if you leave the door? 501 00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:36,644 Nothing, nothing. 502 00:21:36,679 --> 00:21:38,279 A tranny walked in last time 503 00:21:38,314 --> 00:21:39,681 and he was just walking around the floors, 504 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,450 but it was nothing. It was-- I swear to God. 505 00:21:49,357 --> 00:21:50,524 ( footsteps approach ) 506 00:21:50,558 --> 00:21:53,194 Where's Shosh? 507 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:55,829 She's at a party. 508 00:21:55,864 --> 00:21:58,699 Navigating her way through the folds of pure conformity. 509 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,735 Charlie is living the dream. 510 00:22:00,769 --> 00:22:02,970 I thought he was gonna be broken for at least six years. 511 00:22:02,971 --> 00:22:04,905 I mentally budgeted six years of brokenness. 512 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:06,307 He's not broken at all. 513 00:22:06,341 --> 00:22:08,042 And it just proves to me, like, 514 00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:10,611 it doesn't matter how right you do things. 515 00:22:10,646 --> 00:22:12,380 Because you know who end up living their dreams 516 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:15,416 are, like, sad messes like Charlie. 517 00:22:15,451 --> 00:22:17,785 And the people who end up flailing behind 518 00:22:17,819 --> 00:22:19,987 are people like me 519 00:22:20,021 --> 00:22:22,089 who have their shit together. 520 00:22:22,124 --> 00:22:24,292 Marnie learned another life lesson. 521 00:22:24,326 --> 00:22:25,359 How adorable. 522 00:22:25,394 --> 00:22:27,595 - ( bag crinkles ) - Want a gummy frog? 523 00:22:33,735 --> 00:22:35,369 Ugh. 524 00:22:35,404 --> 00:22:37,938 I'm gonna have you retrieve that when you're less upset. 525 00:22:37,973 --> 00:22:40,241 Okay, look. 526 00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,409 You're mad because you want what he has. 527 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,879 So stop thinking and start doing that 528 00:22:45,914 --> 00:22:47,848 I don't understand. 529 00:22:47,882 --> 00:22:49,216 - Okay, Marnie... - I don't understand. 530 00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:51,418 What's your dream, hmm? 531 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,387 What do you really, really wanna do? 532 00:22:53,421 --> 00:22:55,389 You wanna be a curator? 533 00:22:55,423 --> 00:22:56,857 - Open up a small gallery - ( groans ) 534 00:22:56,891 --> 00:22:58,392 in an old burrito factory. 535 00:22:58,427 --> 00:23:00,061 You wanna be a mother? Get fucking pregnant. 536 00:23:00,096 --> 00:23:01,362 Oh, my God. 537 00:23:01,397 --> 00:23:03,498 Turn this potential energy into kinetic energy. 538 00:23:03,532 --> 00:23:05,099 Stop being a cartographer 539 00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,234 and become an explorer. 540 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:07,869 What do you really want to do? 541 00:23:07,903 --> 00:23:09,003 What's your dream? 542 00:23:09,038 --> 00:23:10,471 Stop thinking. Just tell me. What is it? 543 00:23:10,506 --> 00:23:11,906 - Just yell it out? - What are you feeling? 544 00:23:11,941 --> 00:23:13,441 What's inside of you? Just tell me-- 545 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,710 I wanna sing. 546 00:23:17,179 --> 00:23:18,580 What's the second thing you wanna do? 547 00:23:18,614 --> 00:23:20,248 That's my dream. 548 00:23:20,283 --> 00:23:21,550 To sing? 549 00:23:21,584 --> 00:23:22,784 Yes. 550 00:23:22,852 --> 00:23:24,452 Okay. 551 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:25,727 That's not-- that's not the road 552 00:23:25,754 --> 00:23:27,255 I thought you were gonna take here, but okay. 553 00:23:27,289 --> 00:23:29,023 ( stutters ) 554 00:23:29,057 --> 00:23:30,825 - Let me hear something. - Oh, now you wanna hear me sing? 555 00:23:30,859 --> 00:23:32,226 Just a few bars. Just let me hear something. 556 00:23:32,261 --> 00:23:33,528 - Just give me a little... - ( groans ) 557 00:23:33,562 --> 00:23:35,797 Okay, give me a second. Ahem. 558 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:39,200 ( hums ) 559 00:23:39,234 --> 00:23:44,439 ♪ I waited till I saw the sun ♪ 560 00:23:45,574 --> 00:23:49,777 ♪ I don't know why I didn't come ♪ 561 00:23:50,913 --> 00:23:55,983 ♪ I left you by the house of fun ♪ 562 00:23:56,017 --> 00:24:00,354 ♪ I don't know why I didn't come ♪ 563 00:24:00,389 --> 00:24:02,724 ♪ I don't know why... ♪ 564 00:24:02,758 --> 00:24:04,725 Okay, it's getting a little too intimate for me 565 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,195 so I'm gonna stop you there, but your voice is-- 566 00:24:07,229 --> 00:24:08,496 it's nice. 567 00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:09,764 Thank you. 568 00:24:09,798 --> 00:24:11,299 Marnie, if you wanna sing, 569 00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:12,433 if you really wanna sing, 570 00:24:12,467 --> 00:24:13,834 then you have to sing, 571 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:15,136 and you have to do it now. 572 00:24:15,170 --> 00:24:16,638 You're never gonna look this good again. 573 00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:19,640 - Thank you. - The clay is drying, okay? 574 00:24:19,675 --> 00:24:21,609 You can't dress like a magician's assistant 575 00:24:21,644 --> 00:24:22,910 for very much longer. 576 00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:24,612 Now is the time-- if you wanna sing, 577 00:24:24,647 --> 00:24:27,449 then you should sing now. Right now. 578 00:24:30,186 --> 00:24:31,920 ♪ My heart is-- ♪ 579 00:24:31,954 --> 00:24:34,189 Not at this moment, right now. 580 00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:35,256 I mean, like, in general-- 581 00:24:35,291 --> 00:24:37,092 Well, be more fucking specific. 582 00:24:37,126 --> 00:24:38,994 I thought it was obvious. 583 00:24:41,365 --> 00:24:43,666 I can't fucking believe this. 584 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:45,401 Yeah, well. 585 00:24:45,435 --> 00:24:47,069 This isn't exactly how we wanted 586 00:24:47,103 --> 00:24:49,271 to spend our visit, either. 587 00:24:49,306 --> 00:24:51,607 You know, this guy helped 588 00:24:51,641 --> 00:24:54,209 Sharon Klingman's son-- 589 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,312 - He was an arsonist, Dad. - Yeah. 590 00:24:56,379 --> 00:24:57,913 - He strapped frogs to rockets. - Oh. 591 00:24:57,948 --> 00:24:59,382 Okay, he was deeply disturbed. 592 00:24:59,449 --> 00:25:00,783 I don't know how he got into college. 593 00:25:00,817 --> 00:25:02,251 I'm not supposed to be here. 594 00:25:02,286 --> 00:25:03,519 Look, after this, why don't-- 595 00:25:03,554 --> 00:25:06,722 we'll just head downtown to Serendipity's 596 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:08,891 and we'll have ice-cream sundaes 597 00:25:08,926 --> 00:25:11,627 and we'll kinda just-- we'll talk-- 598 00:25:11,662 --> 00:25:13,129 - I'm not hungry. - Okay. 599 00:25:13,163 --> 00:25:14,697 Did you hear that, Mom? I said I'm not hungry. 600 00:25:14,732 --> 00:25:16,800 - She heard that. - Maybe I'm anorexic. 601 00:25:16,834 --> 00:25:19,569 Oh, God. Maybe we should see another specialist. 602 00:25:19,604 --> 00:25:20,971 Come on, now. 603 00:25:21,005 --> 00:25:23,640 You're not anorexic. That's ridiculous. 604 00:25:23,674 --> 00:25:26,009 I've-- I've seen you in a bathing suit. 605 00:25:26,076 --> 00:25:27,577 Tad. 606 00:25:27,645 --> 00:25:29,713 - She was kidding. - Oh. 607 00:25:29,747 --> 00:25:31,114 Yeah. 608 00:25:31,148 --> 00:25:32,982 Like I didn't know that. 609 00:25:33,017 --> 00:25:34,384 ( sighs ) 610 00:25:34,418 --> 00:25:37,420 Hannah: I mean, this hasn't happened since high school. 611 00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:39,022 And it was very bad in high school? 612 00:25:39,056 --> 00:25:40,523 Yeah, I mean, it was pretty bad. 613 00:25:40,557 --> 00:25:43,059 I counted stuff. It was bad. 614 00:25:43,093 --> 00:25:45,161 What did you count? 615 00:25:45,196 --> 00:25:47,029 Uh... 616 00:25:47,064 --> 00:25:49,065 every pulse in my vagina. 617 00:25:49,099 --> 00:25:51,534 Um, I would force myself to see things 618 00:25:51,569 --> 00:25:52,835 on a loop of eight. 619 00:25:52,870 --> 00:25:55,438 Like sexual things, murder things. 620 00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:58,441 So, it was really a classical presentation. 621 00:26:00,911 --> 00:26:02,411 Well, okay. 622 00:26:02,446 --> 00:26:04,680 Then I guess it's classic to have to masturbate 623 00:26:04,714 --> 00:26:06,248 eight or 16 times a night 624 00:26:06,282 --> 00:26:08,049 until your legs shake and you're crying 625 00:26:08,084 --> 00:26:09,251 and you're trying to make sure that your parents 626 00:26:09,285 --> 00:26:12,053 didn't hear you, so you check their door eight times, 627 00:26:12,088 --> 00:26:14,322 then you move your toothbrush 64 times, 628 00:26:14,356 --> 00:26:15,924 then you move your dad's toothbrush 64 times, 629 00:26:15,958 --> 00:26:17,425 then you go back and forth between the two, 630 00:26:17,459 --> 00:26:20,027 moving each one eight times until you've reached 64 times 631 00:26:20,061 --> 00:26:22,063 but then you realize that that doesn't feel quite right either, 632 00:26:22,097 --> 00:26:23,664 and suddenly it's 3:00 in the morning 633 00:26:23,698 --> 00:26:25,399 and you're fucking exhausted and you go to school 634 00:26:25,433 --> 00:26:26,834 the next day looking like a zombie. 635 00:26:26,868 --> 00:26:28,469 It's classical. 636 00:26:30,405 --> 00:26:32,173 Anyway, I took medicine. 637 00:26:32,207 --> 00:26:33,288 Are you taking medicine now? 638 00:26:33,308 --> 00:26:34,842 - Mm-mm. - Why? 639 00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:36,510 Uh, because it made me tired. 640 00:26:36,545 --> 00:26:39,413 - How tired? - Very tired. 641 00:26:39,448 --> 00:26:41,449 So, why are your parents so worried, do you think? 642 00:26:41,483 --> 00:26:44,185 Uh, because they think I seem anxious. 643 00:26:44,220 --> 00:26:46,288 Do you have a reason to be anxious? 644 00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,493 Um, I went through a breakup about a month ago. 645 00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:53,595 And was that stressful? 646 00:26:53,629 --> 00:26:54,950 Uh, yeah. It was pretty stressful. 647 00:26:54,964 --> 00:26:57,198 He acted very crazy and not normal. 648 00:26:57,232 --> 00:26:59,700 And he's still trying to contact me. 649 00:26:59,734 --> 00:27:03,036 - And that was unwanted? - Uh, in some ways. 650 00:27:03,071 --> 00:27:05,505 I can't decide if he's the greatest person in the world or the worst, 651 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:08,074 and I should probably take my space till I figure that out. 652 00:27:08,108 --> 00:27:11,377 According to everybody. 653 00:27:11,411 --> 00:27:12,945 Also, 654 00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:14,446 I don't really think you would understand any of my problems 655 00:27:14,481 --> 00:27:15,948 because you seem like you have a tremendous amount 656 00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:19,384 of willpower and general togetherness. 657 00:27:19,418 --> 00:27:20,785 And why do you say that? 658 00:27:20,820 --> 00:27:24,456 Well, I'm not gonna give you a compliment now. 659 00:27:31,431 --> 00:27:34,766 I have a book deal. I don't know if my mom told you that, 660 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,369 that it's a really important professional moment for me. 661 00:27:37,403 --> 00:27:39,471 Well, that-- that's just really 662 00:27:39,505 --> 00:27:40,538 tremendously stressful. 663 00:27:40,573 --> 00:27:42,574 I mean, no wonder, you know? 664 00:27:42,608 --> 00:27:44,642 Have you written a book? 665 00:27:44,677 --> 00:27:47,278 Yes, mm-hmm. 666 00:27:47,313 --> 00:27:49,848 Was it a therapeutic text? 667 00:27:49,882 --> 00:27:52,384 No. 668 00:27:52,452 --> 00:27:55,154 Was it a memoir? 669 00:27:55,188 --> 00:27:56,789 No, it was about a dog. 670 00:27:56,823 --> 00:27:58,858 A little boy and his bionic dog. 671 00:27:58,892 --> 00:28:01,694 Your book's about a bionic dog? 672 00:28:01,728 --> 00:28:02,962 Yes, mm-hmm. 673 00:28:02,996 --> 00:28:05,831 Every book, he would save the world from disaster. 674 00:28:05,866 --> 00:28:07,466 I... 675 00:28:07,501 --> 00:28:09,602 I think we sold about-- 676 00:28:09,636 --> 00:28:12,738 yeah, we sold two and a half million copies. 677 00:28:14,675 --> 00:28:17,042 I will really do anything you say 678 00:28:17,077 --> 00:28:19,311 if you just tell my parents that I'm okay. 679 00:28:21,047 --> 00:28:23,048 Are you? 680 00:28:35,627 --> 00:28:38,495 I hate it when you look so concerned about me. 681 00:28:39,731 --> 00:28:50,176 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 682 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,649 ♪ Sometimes I remember the old days ♪ 683 00:28:59,683 --> 00:29:03,586 ♪ When the world was filled with sorrow ♪ 684 00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:06,288 ♪ You might have thought I was living ♪ 685 00:29:06,323 --> 00:29:11,760 ♪ But I was all alone ♪ 686 00:29:11,795 --> 00:29:13,095 ♪ In my heart ♪ 687 00:29:13,130 --> 00:29:15,097 ♪ The rain was falling ♪ 688 00:29:15,131 --> 00:29:16,965 ♪ The wind blew ♪ 689 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,368 ♪ The night was calling ♪ 690 00:29:19,402 --> 00:29:22,338 ♪ Come back, come back ♪ 691 00:29:22,372 --> 00:29:27,276 ♪ I'm all you've ever known ♪ 692 00:29:27,310 --> 00:29:31,213 ♪ Open the door and come on in ♪ 693 00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:35,651 ♪ I'm so glad to see you, my friend ♪ 694 00:29:35,685 --> 00:29:38,387 ♪ You're like a rainbow ♪ 695 00:29:38,421 --> 00:29:43,759 ♪ Coming around the bend ♪ 696 00:29:43,793 --> 00:29:47,830 ♪ And when I see you happy ♪ 697 00:29:47,864 --> 00:29:52,001 ♪ Well, it sets my heart free ♪ 698 00:29:52,035 --> 00:29:53,435 ♪ I'd like to be as ♪ 699 00:29:53,470 --> 00:29:54,970 ♪ Good a friend to you ♪ 700 00:29:55,005 --> 00:29:59,008 ♪ As you are to me ♪ 701 00:29:59,042 --> 00:30:03,213 ♪ Open the door and come on in ♪ 702 00:30:03,247 --> 00:30:07,651 ♪ I'm so glad to see you, my friend ♪ 703 00:30:07,685 --> 00:30:10,187 ♪ You're all like rainbows ♪ 704 00:30:10,221 --> 00:30:15,760 ♪ Coming around the bend ♪ 705 00:30:15,794 --> 00:30:19,731 ♪ And when I see you happy ♪ 706 00:30:19,765 --> 00:30:23,802 ♪ Well, it sets my heart free ♪ 707 00:30:23,836 --> 00:30:25,370 ♪ I'd like to be as ♪ 708 00:30:25,404 --> 00:30:26,938 ♪ Good a friend to you ♪ 709 00:30:26,973 --> 00:30:32,176 ♪ As you are to me. ♪