1
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:06,634
Polly, what is with all the noise?
2
00:00:06,635 --> 00:00:09,403
- It's 11:30 in the morning.
- What the hell?
3
00:00:09,404 --> 00:00:11,839
I'm making an energy shake.
The magazine said to use
4
00:00:11,873 --> 00:00:13,240
something called whey.
5
00:00:13,241 --> 00:00:16,624
No whey. Whey.
No whey.
6
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,731
"Wayne's world." Nothing?
7
00:00:17,732 --> 00:00:19,447
- You don't wanna do this with me?
- No, thank you.
8
00:00:19,448 --> 00:00:22,516
Guess what? I am gonna run a 5k.
9
00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,385
5k? When was the last time you ran?
10
00:00:24,419 --> 00:00:26,787
I was in a parking structure.
It was late,
11
00:00:26,822 --> 00:00:28,589
and I got a weird feeling.
12
00:00:28,623 --> 00:00:31,559
Her, Elaine.
She wasn't there. I was alone.
13
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,494
That's why I got a weird feeling.
14
00:00:33,495 --> 00:00:35,529
Oh, okay.
I'm not awake yet.
15
00:00:35,530 --> 00:00:39,100
Anyway, I was at the drugstore
shopping for... candy,
16
00:00:39,101 --> 00:00:40,434
and my first thought was,
17
00:00:40,435 --> 00:00:41,702
what is that desk
doing in front of all my candy?
18
00:00:41,703 --> 00:00:44,405
But then all these old feelings
just came flooding back.
19
00:00:44,406 --> 00:00:45,906
I mean, remember what
an activist I was
20
00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,208
back in college?
21
00:00:47,242 --> 00:00:49,510
We did a sleepout
for the homeless.
22
00:00:49,511 --> 00:00:51,092
Oh, I'm so sorry.
23
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:54,014
You actually have to sign up for
this.
24
00:00:54,015 --> 00:00:55,479
We chained ourselves to trees
to save the rain forest.
25
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,650
Give trees a chance!
Give trees a chance!
26
00:00:56,651 --> 00:00:59,153
Oh, I should have gone
to the bathroom first.
27
00:00:59,154 --> 00:01:01,655
We had a questionable fund-raiser
28
00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:03,257
to support the equal pay
for women act.
29
00:01:03,258 --> 00:01:07,094
Doesn't a wet t-shirt contest
kinda contradict our message?
30
00:01:07,129 --> 00:01:08,362
We tried doing a pancake breakfast,
31
00:01:08,363 --> 00:01:09,830
but we didn't raise a dime.
32
00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:14,201
I used to be an inspired
and passionate person
33
00:01:14,202 --> 00:01:15,903
who cared about the world.
34
00:01:15,937 --> 00:01:17,304
I mean, I had cool clothes
35
00:01:17,305 --> 00:01:19,540
and a sexy, sarcastic style
of flirting,
36
00:01:19,541 --> 00:01:21,275
and I wanna be that again.
37
00:01:21,276 --> 00:01:23,177
And the best way to do that
is to get off my ass
38
00:01:23,178 --> 00:01:24,678
and run that 5k.
39
00:01:24,679 --> 00:01:27,915
In the life coach business,
we call this a spark moment.
40
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:30,351
After a long period of stagnation,
41
00:01:30,352 --> 00:01:33,187
your passion ignites,
and then you burn in the flames
42
00:01:33,188 --> 00:01:35,122
of your own glorious potential.
43
00:01:35,123 --> 00:01:37,858
Hmm, well, I think this is
a fantastic opportunity,
44
00:01:37,859 --> 00:01:41,477
and I, for one, am feeling
a rush of parental pride.
45
00:01:41,478 --> 00:01:43,364
- Aw.
- Thank you.
46
00:01:43,365 --> 00:01:44,498
All right, hello, hello.
47
00:01:44,533 --> 00:01:46,600
Huh? Let's do this.
Let's do it.
48
00:01:46,601 --> 00:01:49,537
- Do what?
- I asked him to come train me.
49
00:01:49,538 --> 00:01:50,671
- Him?
- Mm.
50
00:01:50,672 --> 00:01:51,772
What does he know about athletics?
51
00:01:51,773 --> 00:01:54,542
High School fencing team,
all-state.
52
00:01:54,543 --> 00:01:55,910
How you like me now?
53
00:01:55,911 --> 00:01:57,678
I do not like you now.
54
00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:59,447
Come on, Maxie.
55
00:01:59,481 --> 00:02:01,749
Come on, man.
56
00:02:01,783 --> 00:02:04,785
Anyway,
I've, uh, almost finished
57
00:02:04,786 --> 00:02:06,320
programming your universal remote.
58
00:02:06,354 --> 00:02:07,655
Great.
And guess what?
59
00:02:07,656 --> 00:02:09,190
I can take Natalie
to school tomorrow.
60
00:02:09,191 --> 00:02:11,959
Thank you so much, Julian.
You're a lifesaver.
61
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,094
I do not know what I would do
without you.
62
00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:17,364
I remember paying a lawyer
a significant amount of money
63
00:02:17,365 --> 00:02:19,433
so she could do without him.
64
00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:20,801
Okay, it's starting to feel
65
00:02:20,802 --> 00:02:22,303
like this is gonna be
a stressful shower.
66
00:02:22,337 --> 00:02:26,474
Well, this is not a healthy way
to conduct a divorce.
67
00:02:26,475 --> 00:02:29,577
And where's the hate?
Where's the lawsuits?
68
00:02:29,578 --> 00:02:31,579
Where's... where's my loofah?
69
00:02:31,613 --> 00:02:33,581
Well, when I was divorced,
the first thing I did
70
00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:35,683
was sleep with my Chicano.
First?
71
00:02:35,684 --> 00:02:38,118
Cleanse the palate.
Uh-huh,
72
00:02:38,153 --> 00:02:40,120
and you know, if you hadn't
severed your emotional ties
73
00:02:40,121 --> 00:02:42,256
with your ex,
you wouldn't have met me
74
00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:43,824
immediately after your Chicano.
75
00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:45,059
- Yeah.
- Right?
76
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:46,827
Mm-hmm.
What happened to him,
77
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,296
- that fella?
- Died in a tragic dancing accident.
78
00:02:49,297 --> 00:02:53,100
At least he died happy.
79
00:02:53,134 --> 00:02:56,764
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
80
00:02:56,765 --> 00:02:58,339
it's so crazy.
I mean, yesterday,
81
00:02:58,340 --> 00:03:00,875
I was a single mom with
a secret gummi worm addiction
82
00:03:00,909 --> 00:03:03,277
and today, I'm back to being
an environmental crusader
83
00:03:03,278 --> 00:03:04,845
like I was in college,
84
00:03:04,846 --> 00:03:06,847
but my hair's
so much better now, right?
85
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,683
What's that? I was listening
to "the best of cream."
86
00:03:09,718 --> 00:03:11,552
Oh, I was just saying,
I'm so psyched to run this 5k
87
00:03:11,586 --> 00:03:15,022
and reclaim
my former environmental...
88
00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:16,290
Whoa. Dude.
89
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:17,925
Forget everything you've
been taught about running
90
00:03:17,926 --> 00:03:20,995
and Harken back
to the first day you ever ran
91
00:03:20,996 --> 00:03:23,030
as a human animal on this planet.
92
00:03:23,064 --> 00:03:24,899
Still not an explanation
for why you launched
93
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,200
my new kicks over the wall.
94
00:03:26,201 --> 00:03:27,501
Look, we've been taught for decades
95
00:03:27,502 --> 00:03:29,537
to land heel-toe, heel-toe,
96
00:03:29,538 --> 00:03:32,339
but we have been misled
by orthopedists,
97
00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:34,675
podiatrists,
and the footwear lobby.
98
00:03:34,676 --> 00:03:38,546
You and I have to stand up
to the tyranny of "big shoe."
99
00:03:38,547 --> 00:03:39,980
Is there any industry
that's not involved
100
00:03:39,981 --> 00:03:41,715
in a conspiracy against you?
101
00:03:41,716 --> 00:03:43,183
I think the breathing strip people
102
00:03:43,184 --> 00:03:45,219
- are genuinely trying to help me. Yeah.
- Hmm.
103
00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:47,087
Come on.
104
00:03:47,088 --> 00:03:49,557
It's kinda like prancing.
Okay? Just kinda feel it.
105
00:03:49,558 --> 00:03:51,759
Get your feet out and...
106
00:03:51,793 --> 00:03:53,394
Uh, whoa.
What's going on?
107
00:03:53,395 --> 00:03:54,528
Why are your knees
and feet pointing out?
108
00:03:54,529 --> 00:03:55,629
You've got, like, a dick Van Dyke
109
00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:58,065
"chim chim cher-ee" thing
going on there.
110
00:03:58,066 --> 00:03:59,300
You know what? I'm gonna
bring you a block of wood.
111
00:03:59,301 --> 00:04:00,901
Hold it between your thighs.
112
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,803
Where do you keep your wood?
113
00:04:02,804 --> 00:04:05,072
Hey, Julian, why don't you
come and have a seat?
114
00:04:05,073 --> 00:04:06,540
Yeah?
115
00:04:06,541 --> 00:04:08,676
Yeah.
116
00:04:08,677 --> 00:04:10,377
Okay.
117
00:04:10,378 --> 00:04:12,580
Julian,
118
00:04:12,581 --> 00:04:14,381
you know we love you.
119
00:04:14,382 --> 00:04:17,651
Julian, you know
that Elaine loves you,
120
00:04:17,652 --> 00:04:20,120
and I have feelings.
Yeah, I do.
121
00:04:20,121 --> 00:04:25,392
And we appreciate all the things
that you do for everybody,
122
00:04:25,393 --> 00:04:28,662
but we need you to stop
doing them as soon as possible.
123
00:04:28,663 --> 00:04:30,297
I'm a bit confused.
124
00:04:30,332 --> 00:04:33,033
Polly seems to be, uh, how would
you say? At a crossroads,
125
00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:36,470
and Elaine and I are concerned that
126
00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:38,572
she'll never be able to get
to that next phase of her life
127
00:04:38,573 --> 00:04:40,374
if she's constantly leaning on you.
128
00:04:40,408 --> 00:04:42,343
But I mean, isn't a good thing
that we get along?
129
00:04:42,377 --> 00:04:43,711
- Yes.
- No.
130
00:04:43,745 --> 00:04:46,180
No.
131
00:04:46,214 --> 00:04:49,249
I don't really know
what to do with my arms,
132
00:04:49,284 --> 00:04:51,318
but I think I've got
the prancing thing down, huh?
133
00:04:51,353 --> 00:04:54,421
Yeah. Hey, listen, um,
I've gotta take off.
134
00:04:54,456 --> 00:04:58,125
What? Now I'm in, like,
this weird place
135
00:04:58,159 --> 00:04:59,193
between running and prancing.
136
00:04:59,194 --> 00:05:00,794
I look like a poodle in a cartoon.
137
00:05:00,829 --> 00:05:02,463
Come on. You don't need me.
138
00:05:02,464 --> 00:05:04,732
Anyway, I got a whole checklist
of things I have to do,
139
00:05:04,733 --> 00:05:08,135
starting with find the checklist.
140
00:05:08,136 --> 00:05:09,303
Anyway, well, see ya.
141
00:05:09,304 --> 00:05:11,171
Wait a minute.
This is my moment!
142
00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:13,273
You are leaving during my moment!
143
00:05:14,943 --> 00:05:17,111
Well, can you at least
go get my shoes?
144
00:05:17,145 --> 00:05:20,481
So weird of Julian
to just run off like that.
145
00:05:20,482 --> 00:05:22,516
Well, you know, he's a busy guy.
He's got a life.
146
00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:24,985
Since when?
147
00:05:24,986 --> 00:05:27,655
How many "K" is this? I feel
like we've done a lot of "K."
148
00:05:27,656 --> 00:05:29,023
We just got out of the car.
149
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,524
You have no idea
how long a kilometer is.
150
00:05:30,558 --> 00:05:32,092
Well, whatever it is,
I'm gonna do it.
151
00:05:32,093 --> 00:05:33,894
You wanna know why?
Because those whales need me.
152
00:05:33,895 --> 00:05:35,329
And after I deal with them,
153
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:37,564
I'm gonna run for the owls.
And are we still clubbing seals?
154
00:05:37,565 --> 00:05:38,999
'Cause I feel like... aah!
155
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,234
Ow! Aah!
156
00:05:40,268 --> 00:05:42,136
Oh, my God, Polly, are you okay?
157
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,039
No, I'm not okay!
I'm on the ground!
158
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,640
All right.
When somebody is in motion,
159
00:05:46,675 --> 00:05:49,309
and then suddenly on the ground,
something bad has happened.
160
00:05:49,344 --> 00:05:50,778
- Aah! Aah!
- Okay.
161
00:05:50,779 --> 00:05:52,846
I don't think my lawyer
would want me to lift you.
162
00:05:52,847 --> 00:05:55,249
Where the hell is Julian?
163
00:05:55,283 --> 00:05:57,818
He's always the one
who takes me to the doctor.
164
00:05:57,819 --> 00:06:00,387
Aah. Even dialing makes
my back hurt.
165
00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:02,890
Oh, you don't need him.
You need ice. Come on.
166
00:06:02,924 --> 00:06:04,191
I need more than ice.
167
00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:06,293
Julian knows a lot
about injuries, okay?
168
00:06:06,294 --> 00:06:08,729
You know all
the weird crap he reads.
169
00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:10,291
Oh, your mother
and I can read weird crap.
170
00:06:10,292 --> 00:06:11,665
- Right, honey?
- Mm-hmm.
171
00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,567
I need his help, okay?
I room mom this week.
172
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:14,735
Natalie's art project is due,
173
00:06:14,736 --> 00:06:16,837
and someone has
gotta take care of me
174
00:06:16,838 --> 00:06:18,472
so I can that race
and ignite my spark.
175
00:06:18,506 --> 00:06:21,709
And who's gonna do all that?
176
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:25,979
Oh, my God.
She means us.
177
00:06:27,528 --> 00:06:31,383
Ahh. Ah, it's almost time
for school.
178
00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:33,152
How's Natalie's lunch coming?
179
00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,920
Explain to me what has happened
to this country...
180
00:06:34,954 --> 00:06:37,623
That I can't make
Natalie peanut butter for lunch?
181
00:06:37,624 --> 00:06:39,058
Well, kids have allergies now.
182
00:06:39,092 --> 00:06:41,960
Oh, so maybe the terrorists
will disable us with peanuts.
183
00:06:41,995 --> 00:06:43,362
Max, we don't have time
for this, okay?
184
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:46,165
Make Natalie lunch like someone
who has ever eaten lunch.
185
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:48,867
Natalie cannot be late,
and I can't move.
186
00:06:48,902 --> 00:06:50,135
No. Natalie's in her room.
187
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:51,537
Well, did you get her dressed?
188
00:06:52,572 --> 00:06:53,806
What is happening to this country
189
00:06:53,807 --> 00:06:56,475
that a child can't put on clothes?
190
00:06:56,509 --> 00:06:58,444
The United States army is gonna
be nude and killed by peanuts.
191
00:06:58,478 --> 00:07:01,013
Do things.
Do things, old people.
192
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,256
God.
193
00:07:05,985 --> 00:07:07,886
It needs something.
194
00:07:08,988 --> 00:07:11,457
You know,
195
00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:15,761
this necklace belonged
to my grandma frances,
196
00:07:15,762 --> 00:07:18,731
and when I'm gone, it goes to you.
197
00:07:18,732 --> 00:07:21,200
Unless I run out of money
and need to sell it.
198
00:07:21,201 --> 00:07:22,935
Where do people go
when they're gone?
199
00:07:22,936 --> 00:07:25,137
Oh, it's a fantastic place,
200
00:07:25,138 --> 00:07:27,539
filled with all
of your favorite things...
201
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,076
Diamond-encrusted lollipops,
202
00:07:31,077 --> 00:07:34,880
Django Reinhardt
serenading you on guitar,
203
00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:38,884
champagne, truffles,
chocolate, limousines.
204
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,053
Is that were I was
before I was born?
205
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:42,621
Okay.
206
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:45,290
Who take care of me up there
while you were all down here?
207
00:07:45,325 --> 00:07:47,326
See, you're smart.
208
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,195
I'm gonna say...
Grandma frances.
209
00:07:50,196 --> 00:07:52,097
Grandma frances.
210
00:07:52,098 --> 00:07:54,166
See, I'm smart, too.
211
00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:55,567
Was I dead?
212
00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:58,061
Let's go show mommy.
213
00:07:59,405 --> 00:08:02,040
Bagel and cream cheese okay,
or is that too ethnic?
214
00:08:02,041 --> 00:08:03,709
It's fine.
215
00:08:04,944 --> 00:08:06,979
So...
What are you two doing?
216
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:08,981
You have to take her to school.
217
00:08:09,015 --> 00:08:10,516
I'm having my coffee.
Now?
218
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,917
Yeah. Right now!
219
00:08:11,918 --> 00:08:14,386
- This is...
- When I was 6 years old, I took...
220
00:08:14,387 --> 00:08:15,921
Endless. It doesn't end.
Four city buses to school.
221
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:17,923
Grandma, grandpa,
I'm gonna be late.
222
00:08:17,957 --> 00:08:19,992
Okay, no, you're not.
There you go.
223
00:08:19,993 --> 00:08:21,193
Oh, and don't forget.
224
00:08:21,227 --> 00:08:22,461
I'm supposed to be room mom today,
225
00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:25,931
so might wanna wear something
booger-resistant.
226
00:08:25,932 --> 00:08:29,001
What is with all these parents
working at the school?
227
00:08:29,002 --> 00:08:31,170
My mother and father
never once came to school.
228
00:08:31,171 --> 00:08:32,738
The parents came to school,
229
00:08:32,772 --> 00:08:34,706
it meant, oh,
someone's got ringworm.
230
00:08:34,741 --> 00:08:37,176
We're being manipulated
by Polly's subconscious.
231
00:08:37,177 --> 00:08:40,012
We removed Julian,
then she hobbles herself
232
00:08:40,013 --> 00:08:42,347
to intentionally draw him back, and we
can't let that happen.
233
00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:44,683
It isn't all that easier for us.
234
00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:46,618
Okay, listen to me. You're gonna
take this one to school.
235
00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:48,287
I'm gonna take Polly to the doctor.
236
00:08:48,288 --> 00:08:52,491
Together, we will replace Julian
until she's weaned off of him.
237
00:08:52,492 --> 00:08:55,260
Okay. I'm in. Unless you
wanna go to the movies.
238
00:08:55,261 --> 00:08:56,528
Call Julian.
Have him come back,
239
00:08:56,529 --> 00:08:58,797
- 'cause in that case, I'm really in.
- No.
240
00:08:58,832 --> 00:09:01,233
Worth a shot.
241
00:09:03,269 --> 00:09:06,238
"And the rabbit
said to the chicken,
242
00:09:06,239 --> 00:09:09,074
it is better to be friends."
243
00:09:09,108 --> 00:09:11,043
Oh, well, who didn't see
that coming?
244
00:09:11,077 --> 00:09:12,678
- Grandma?
- Yeah.
245
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,480
Tell everyone
about your grandma frances
246
00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:17,324
and how she took care of me
before I was born.
247
00:09:17,325 --> 00:09:18,325
Right.
248
00:09:18,326 --> 00:09:21,753
Someone took care of you
before you were born?
249
00:09:21,788 --> 00:09:23,222
Yeah, and it's an awesome place.
250
00:09:23,256 --> 00:09:24,723
Like heaven?
251
00:09:24,757 --> 00:09:27,226
Well, um, what's your last name?
252
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:28,727
O'Brien.
253
00:09:28,761 --> 00:09:29,995
Oh, yeah. You got heaven.
254
00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:33,298
Your great-grandmother
took care of you in heaven
255
00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:34,800
before you were born.
256
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:39,238
See, that's the whole system
that... God set up.
257
00:09:39,239 --> 00:09:41,206
My family doesn't believe
in heaven,
258
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:43,175
so who took care of me?
259
00:09:43,209 --> 00:09:45,077
Well, what's your last name?
260
00:09:45,111 --> 00:09:46,511
Gupta.
261
00:09:46,512 --> 00:09:48,080
Gupta.
262
00:09:48,443 --> 00:09:50,257
I believe it was a cow...
263
00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:54,453
A super special cow
264
00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:56,889
with magic cow...
Powers.
265
00:09:56,890 --> 00:09:59,424
Hey, how's it going over there?
266
00:09:59,425 --> 00:10:01,326
Great.
267
00:10:01,361 --> 00:10:03,028
Mm-hmm.
268
00:10:03,029 --> 00:10:05,030
Oh.
269
00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:06,899
You're going to lie down,
keep your hands at your sides,
270
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,600
and don't move.
The M.R.I. machine
271
00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,269
is very loud, and it'll take
about 30 minutes.
272
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:12,504
Wow, that is a lot of minutes
273
00:10:12,505 --> 00:10:13,939
to be in a loud,
coffin-like structure,
274
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,375
but I am gonna do it because
275
00:10:16,409 --> 00:10:17,576
this table looks like
it's a fixed size
276
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:19,711
that in no way could squeeze me
to death.
277
00:10:19,712 --> 00:10:21,079
I mean, there's no such thing
278
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,581
as a hospital that tricks you
into doing things
279
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:23,615
that could kill you, right?
280
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,317
I mean, unless this is like
an elaborate scheme
281
00:10:25,318 --> 00:10:26,485
to harvest my organs.
282
00:10:26,486 --> 00:10:29,688
Get in the tube.
Yes.
283
00:10:29,722 --> 00:10:30,989
Oh, God.
284
00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:33,625
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't like this!
285
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:34,760
I don't want this!
I don't want this!
286
00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:36,361
You're having
an irrational response.
287
00:10:36,362 --> 00:10:38,096
I know! I am aware of it!
288
00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:39,598
Ahh!
289
00:10:39,599 --> 00:10:41,700
Let's try this again.
290
00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:44,036
I am freaking out.
291
00:10:44,037 --> 00:10:45,566
I'm not ready yet. Not ready.
Not ready. Not ready.
292
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:46,571
- Take your feet.
- No, no.
293
00:10:46,572 --> 00:10:48,040
I have a daughter!
294
00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:50,409
Be right back, Carol.
Ahh! Ahh!
295
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:51,476
My back!
296
00:10:51,511 --> 00:10:53,312
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Listen.
297
00:10:53,346 --> 00:10:54,579
Okay. Listen to me, right?
298
00:10:54,614 --> 00:10:56,181
You can overcome
this claustrophobia.
299
00:10:56,182 --> 00:10:58,083
The mind is powerful, boy.
300
00:10:58,084 --> 00:10:59,284
If my mind was that powerful,
301
00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,219
I would use it
to set you on fire right now.
302
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,422
You know what? It feels to me
that you're prolonging
303
00:11:03,423 --> 00:11:05,557
this episode so your ex-husband
can ride in here on his truck,
304
00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:08,126
which is held together by rope,
to save you.
305
00:11:08,127 --> 00:11:09,400
What does this have to do
with Julian?
306
00:11:09,401 --> 00:11:10,495
- Is there anything...
- All right, l-look.
307
00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:12,297
Tube time. Here we go.
308
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:14,232
Are we gonna do this, or am I
gonna have my sandwich?
309
00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,101
Do you have any, uh,
narcotics for her?
310
00:11:24,911 --> 00:11:27,546
Oh, damn universal remote.
311
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:28,714
Uh-huh.
312
00:11:28,715 --> 00:11:30,983
Pacino is supposed to be
talking to James Lipton,
313
00:11:31,017 --> 00:11:34,086
and I can't get this to function.
314
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,854
I love doing puzzles
with you, grandma.
315
00:11:35,855 --> 00:11:38,857
Yeah, well,
grandma's having a blast.
316
00:11:38,858 --> 00:11:41,426
Uh, you finish the barn,
317
00:11:41,427 --> 00:11:43,595
and I'll be back in a second.
Okay.
318
00:11:45,698 --> 00:11:47,933
I feel the minutes of my life
are slipping
319
00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:49,134
into a black abyss full of crayons
320
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,103
and non-toxic glue.
321
00:11:51,104 --> 00:11:53,839
There's a goat in my cleavage.
322
00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:56,341
I was King Lear in a 19-city tour,
323
00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:59,311
and now I'm standing here
making Mac and cheese
324
00:11:59,312 --> 00:12:00,679
and not watching Al Pacino.
325
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,481
I wanted to know
what he wore to bed.
326
00:12:02,482 --> 00:12:05,384
Well, I didn't wanna say this,
but maybe we should call...
327
00:12:05,418 --> 00:12:08,220
No. No, no. L-i-listen,
we need to push through.
328
00:12:08,254 --> 00:12:09,988
Julian hasn't been here in days.
329
00:12:09,989 --> 00:12:11,356
I think we're on the precipice
330
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:12,958
of getting somewhere.
331
00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:14,793
So that was the doctor.
332
00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:17,229
I have an inflamed disk
and a bruised coccyx.
333
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:20,766
He wants me off my feet
for, like, two to three weeks.
334
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:21,967
Well, I guess
that's the end of the line
335
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,469
for the new "save the world" me...
336
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:27,139
And probably for a couple whales.
337
00:12:27,173 --> 00:12:30,909
Well, the important thing
is that you're motivated
338
00:12:30,943 --> 00:12:34,513
and moving forward,
and we are here to support you
339
00:12:34,514 --> 00:12:38,717
until you're back
on your feet again.
340
00:12:38,751 --> 00:12:40,719
Two to three weeks
341
00:12:40,753 --> 00:12:43,121
of this lunch packing,
noodle boiling?
342
00:12:43,156 --> 00:12:45,190
We'll be dead by then.
343
00:12:47,436 --> 00:12:49,271
So I'm just supposed
to drop everything
344
00:12:49,272 --> 00:12:50,472
and come running back?
345
00:12:50,506 --> 00:12:52,507
Everything? What are you,
teaching at Harvard?
346
00:12:52,508 --> 00:12:54,709
Julian, we can't take
another three weeks of this.
347
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,845
We really need you.
348
00:12:56,846 --> 00:12:58,547
You can do things
and tolerate things.
349
00:12:58,548 --> 00:13:01,149
We simply can't.
350
00:13:01,183 --> 00:13:03,282
Like Natalie's spirit-crushing
barnyard puzzle.
351
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,891
- Oh. Have you seen it?
- The horses are brown.
352
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:08,089
The dog is brown.
Farmer brown is brown.
353
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:10,659
I mean, what sadist designed
that puzzle, you know?
354
00:13:10,693 --> 00:13:13,024
And I can't make heads or tails
out of the universal remote.
355
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,029
No.
356
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,530
It just doesn't work,
and nowadays, the TVs...
357
00:13:15,531 --> 00:13:17,399
They don't have
a physical "on" button,
358
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,734
so it's neither universal
nor remote.
359
00:13:19,769 --> 00:13:21,002
I don't know, guys.
All right?
360
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:22,604
I mean, maybe this was
a wake-up call.
361
00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:24,339
So you know what?
I'm just gonna back off,
362
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:27,509
take a little more time for Julian.
363
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:29,377
Now if you'll hand me
my giant spoon...
364
00:13:29,378 --> 00:13:31,379
I can't really bend over
in this thing.
365
00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:32,847
Pick up the spoon.
366
00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:42,157
Oh. Don't blame this on me.
You ruined us.
367
00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:45,160
I have four words
to describe our future.
368
00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:48,327
Dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
369
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:52,415
Don't make me cry.
370
00:13:57,373 --> 00:13:58,773
So for the next week,
371
00:13:58,774 --> 00:14:00,809
my parents reaped what they sowed.
372
00:14:00,843 --> 00:14:03,578
I'm awake. Who wants to play?
373
00:14:03,613 --> 00:14:06,615
It's too early.
Let it pee in the house.
374
00:14:06,649 --> 00:14:08,583
- It's the child, not the dog.
- Oh.
375
00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:09,618
Turn the TV on.
I can't.
376
00:14:09,619 --> 00:14:11,286
Turn the TV on, damn it.
377
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,723
TV! TV! TV! TV! TV! TV!
Aah!
378
00:14:14,724 --> 00:14:16,391
Here you go.
379
00:14:16,425 --> 00:14:18,994
Ohh. It hurts to move.
380
00:14:18,995 --> 00:14:20,443
Can you feed me?
381
00:14:22,331 --> 00:14:24,399
- Mm.
- That's too hot.
382
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,634
Blow on it.
383
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:33,541
Oh, I forgot!
It's rainbow week.
384
00:14:33,576 --> 00:14:37,245
Everybody has to wear blue today.
385
00:14:40,216 --> 00:14:42,450
Have a nice day, honey!
386
00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:46,621
Ha ha!
387
00:14:46,622 --> 00:14:48,623
I'm done, Elaine.
388
00:14:48,624 --> 00:14:50,425
I can't do it anymore.
389
00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:52,694
Let's just get in the car,
drive to the grand canyon,
390
00:14:52,695 --> 00:14:54,162
and "Thelma & Louise" this bitch.
391
00:14:54,163 --> 00:14:56,998
Doorbell! Getsie, getsie!
392
00:15:02,204 --> 00:15:04,806
Hi. Uh, sorry to
bother you. Are you Natalie's grandma?
393
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,242
Oh, I'm so much more than that.
394
00:15:07,243 --> 00:15:08,376
Yes.
395
00:15:08,411 --> 00:15:09,611
My son came home from school
396
00:15:09,612 --> 00:15:11,312
saying he wants to climb back
inside my wife
397
00:15:11,313 --> 00:15:12,947
and meet the magical cow
who took care of him
398
00:15:12,948 --> 00:15:14,549
before he was born.
399
00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:16,017
Do you know anything about this?
400
00:15:16,018 --> 00:15:17,919
Oh, I was just riffing.
401
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,087
On what?
402
00:15:19,088 --> 00:15:21,389
Yeah, we have
a pretty specific religion.
403
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:22,557
At this point, I thought it best
404
00:15:22,558 --> 00:15:24,759
to just let my parents
off the hook,
405
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,595
especially since I knew
something they didn't.
406
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:29,464
Hi, Mr. Gupta.
407
00:15:29,465 --> 00:15:30,699
Go, old people, go.
408
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,901
Namaste.
I am so, so sorry about this.
409
00:15:32,902 --> 00:15:34,703
Okay, I'm gonna have
a little powwow with my parents,
410
00:15:34,704 --> 00:15:36,471
and we'll fix this.
I did not say "powwow"
411
00:15:36,472 --> 00:15:38,673
because I think you're
the other kind of Indian.
412
00:15:38,674 --> 00:15:40,175
I know exactly what kind of Indian.
413
00:15:40,176 --> 00:15:42,243
You know, I'm going to
see you at school.
414
00:15:42,278 --> 00:15:44,379
Okay. Uh, bye.
415
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,648
Terrific.
416
00:15:46,649 --> 00:15:49,584
Jeez, I thought I could
count on the two of you
417
00:15:49,618 --> 00:15:50,785
to take care of things
while I was laid up.
418
00:15:50,786 --> 00:15:51,993
This is pretty tough,
419
00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:53,855
trying to do it all
when you don't have any help.
420
00:15:53,889 --> 00:15:55,323
Isn't it?
421
00:15:55,357 --> 00:15:56,791
Polly, we are so very sorry.
422
00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:59,594
- Um, your mother and I have done something...
- Well, more you.
423
00:15:59,595 --> 00:16:01,229
- You were in that shower, too.
- Well...
424
00:16:01,263 --> 00:16:04,132
Okay, the point is,
we've done something
425
00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:07,268
that we've come to regret
on a nixonian level.
426
00:16:07,303 --> 00:16:09,671
You told Julian to stay away.
427
00:16:09,705 --> 00:16:12,474
Did we tell you that already?
I'm not sure about Nixon.
428
00:16:12,508 --> 00:16:15,143
Well, when Julian suddenly
stopped coming around,
429
00:16:15,177 --> 00:16:17,679
it began to occur to me
that something had happened.
430
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,648
Oh, and also, phones exist.
431
00:16:20,683 --> 00:16:21,823
Why don't you finish the barn?
432
00:16:21,824 --> 00:16:23,918
- And I'll be back in a sec.
- Okay.
433
00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:25,987
They told you to stay away?
434
00:16:25,988 --> 00:16:28,123
Yeah. They said I was preventing
you from moving forward,
435
00:16:28,124 --> 00:16:30,158
but, uh, I started
to get worried, so I called you.
436
00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:32,327
I can't believe that.
437
00:16:32,361 --> 00:16:34,429
That is horrible and unacceptable.
438
00:16:34,463 --> 00:16:36,197
I am so sorry.
439
00:16:36,232 --> 00:16:38,166
If makes you feel any better,
they are hilariously struggling
440
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:39,868
without you around
to pick up the slack.
441
00:16:39,869 --> 00:16:42,804
Well, I can't wait till they
try and take on roaring '20s day
442
00:16:42,805 --> 00:16:44,038
at Nat's school next week.
443
00:16:44,039 --> 00:16:45,406
Who's got bowler hats?
444
00:16:45,441 --> 00:16:47,442
I've got bowler hats.
Well, we could
445
00:16:47,476 --> 00:16:48,843
confront them
about what they've done,
446
00:16:48,844 --> 00:16:50,779
but I think it would be way more
fun to string them along
447
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:52,981
and torture them
to teach them a lesson.
448
00:16:53,015 --> 00:16:55,765
Oh, you are naughty.
449
00:16:55,785 --> 00:16:59,120
Are you saying you misled us?
You lied to us?
450
00:16:59,121 --> 00:17:02,056
You created this whole
2-to-3-week scenario
451
00:17:02,057 --> 00:17:03,591
to punish us?
452
00:17:03,592 --> 00:17:05,393
Oh, my God.
453
00:17:05,427 --> 00:17:06,861
Yes.
454
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:09,364
- It's over!
- ♪ Free at last, free at last ♪
455
00:17:09,365 --> 00:17:12,600
♪ Thank God almighty we are free at last ♪
♪ we are on our own, oh, yeah ♪
456
00:17:12,601 --> 00:17:15,503
Listen, we are so sorry about this.
457
00:17:15,538 --> 00:17:17,338
We... we had no idea all
458
00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:18,940
the things that you and Julian do.
459
00:17:18,941 --> 00:17:21,075
And may I say, you are amazing.
460
00:17:21,110 --> 00:17:22,577
Now with your permission,
461
00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:24,445
your mother and I are
gonna go out to dinner.
462
00:17:24,446 --> 00:17:25,880
How about a wellness retreat
in Sedona?
463
00:17:25,881 --> 00:17:27,749
Yes. Yes to that.
Of course.
464
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,350
Uh, not so fast.
465
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:32,987
The first thing you're gonna do
is apologize to Julian
466
00:17:32,988 --> 00:17:35,323
and beg him to come back.
467
00:17:35,324 --> 00:17:36,991
This is our divorce,
and we're gonna do it our way,
468
00:17:36,992 --> 00:17:38,193
and I want your solemn vow
469
00:17:38,194 --> 00:17:39,627
that you're not gonna meddle
anymore.
470
00:17:39,628 --> 00:17:40,795
- Sure.
- Okay.
471
00:17:40,796 --> 00:17:42,997
Should I call that resort
with the mineral hot tub,
472
00:17:43,032 --> 00:17:44,399
or should we go to the one
with the red rock view?
473
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,834
It's Sedona.
We gotta see the rocks.
474
00:17:45,835 --> 00:17:47,268
Wait. There's more.
475
00:17:47,303 --> 00:17:49,537
Oh, jeez,
it's like a knife commercial.
476
00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:52,473
The 5k is today,
and I'm gonna do it.
477
00:17:52,508 --> 00:17:53,942
How? You're walking around
like you're hiding an egg
478
00:17:53,943 --> 00:17:55,810
between your butt cheeks.
479
00:17:55,811 --> 00:17:57,445
Julian is gonna help me,
but he has to work,
480
00:17:57,446 --> 00:17:59,447
so that's where you come in.
481
00:18:01,217 --> 00:18:03,117
Cool, refreshing yogurt!
482
00:18:03,118 --> 00:18:06,788
Make your yogurt boy a boy, boy.
483
00:18:06,789 --> 00:18:09,123
How about some... hey, cheapskate,
buy a yogurt.
484
00:18:09,158 --> 00:18:11,025
How you doing?
You all right?
485
00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:13,194
Yeah, this is
a lot easier than I thought.
486
00:18:13,229 --> 00:18:14,596
You know what?
This barefoot running...
487
00:18:14,597 --> 00:18:16,197
Actually quite liberating.
488
00:18:16,198 --> 00:18:17,565
I got a small piece of glass
in my left foot,
489
00:18:17,566 --> 00:18:19,133
but my legs aren't hurting.
490
00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:22,470
Ooh, water station.
Let's pull in. Hey.
491
00:18:22,504 --> 00:18:24,572
- Oh, I'm so proud of you.
- You're doing great.
492
00:18:24,573 --> 00:18:25,940
This is chardonnay.
493
00:18:25,941 --> 00:18:27,472
Oh, sorry. That's mine.
494
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,776
- Keep going!
- Thanks, mom!
495
00:18:28,811 --> 00:18:31,412
- Love you!
- Light that fire!
496
00:18:31,447 --> 00:18:33,014
- Keep going!
- Do you think there's anything true
497
00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:34,382
what my parents said about us?
498
00:18:34,416 --> 00:18:35,950
I mean, if you look at us
right now from the outside,
499
00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:38,453
I look incredibly dependent on you.
500
00:18:38,487 --> 00:18:40,355
Just 'cause I'm pushing you
in a wheelchair.
501
00:18:40,389 --> 00:18:41,689
Ha. The way I look at it,
502
00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:43,191
being around you now
makes up for the times
503
00:18:43,192 --> 00:18:45,059
I wasn't around
when we were married.
504
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:46,340
It's like my version of alimony.
505
00:18:46,362 --> 00:18:48,930
An actual version
would be really nice, too.
506
00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:50,665
I know, right?
507
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:53,301
I just think it'd be so easy
for me to rely on you forever,
508
00:18:53,302 --> 00:18:55,837
and that would not be healthy
for either one of us,
509
00:18:55,838 --> 00:18:58,139
so... I'm gonna do this.
510
00:18:58,173 --> 00:18:59,974
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
511
00:19:00,009 --> 00:19:01,109
Gotta warn me when you do that.
512
00:19:03,479 --> 00:19:06,247
Thank you for the lift.
I will take it from here.
513
00:19:16,659 --> 00:19:17,759
- Ha ha!
- All right!
514
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,193
Yay! Whoo-hoo!
Way to go, Polly.
515
00:19:19,194 --> 00:19:20,461
Yay!
516
00:19:20,462 --> 00:19:23,898
Wow, 5 kilometers is
a lot longer than 3.2 miles.
517
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:26,267
Well, actually those are
equal distances.
518
00:19:26,302 --> 00:19:27,335
But you know what?
The important thing
519
00:19:27,369 --> 00:19:28,770
is that you finished on your own,
520
00:19:28,804 --> 00:19:30,138
and that's a big deal.
521
00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:32,840
No, the important thing
is that I have this
522
00:19:32,908 --> 00:19:34,776
amazing support system around me,
523
00:19:34,777 --> 00:19:37,045
and if I'm gonna be the me
that I'm supposed to be,
524
00:19:37,046 --> 00:19:39,948
I'm gonna need all of you.
Deal.
525
00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:41,015
Inspirational words to think about
526
00:19:41,016 --> 00:19:42,717
on our way to the airport.
527
00:19:42,751 --> 00:19:44,719
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Just one thing. Uh, Julian?
528
00:19:44,753 --> 00:19:49,324
Oh, right, yeah. It's TV-power,
cable-power, 2-6-7, enter.
529
00:19:49,358 --> 00:19:51,559
All right.
530
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,529
Grandma, grandpa,
tomorrow's Hawaiian day,
531
00:19:54,530 --> 00:19:58,599
so I need a grass skirt
and coconut bikini.
532
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,501
Okay, love you.
Ow.
533
00:20:00,502 --> 00:20:04,639
Ciao.
Mm-kay. Mm. Good job. Aloha.
534
00:20:05,816 --> 00:20:07,941
Lately there's been a lot
of discussion about religion
535
00:20:07,942 --> 00:20:09,475
and different people's beliefs
536
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:12,311
about what happens
after we pass away.
537
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,713
I've heard words like
diamond-encrusted lollipops,
538
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:18,317
champagne limousines,
and, for some reason,
539
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,752
Django Reinhardt.
540
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,888
I've even heard some kids
express their desires
541
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,723
to visit dead relatives,
542
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:27,126
which is why we've invited
Natalie's grandmother
543
00:20:27,127 --> 00:20:31,864
to clarify some things
she may or... may not have said.
544
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,744
Well, the thing is, kids...
545
00:20:37,117 --> 00:20:39,285
I'm crazy.
546
00:20:40,954 --> 00:20:42,463
Ooh!
547
00:20:42,464 --> 00:20:45,041
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/