1 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:17,045 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:17,723 --> 00:00:20,492 So, incorruptible tribunes of the free press, 3 00:00:20,526 --> 00:00:22,794 please enjoy this Finnish breakfast. 4 00:00:22,829 --> 00:00:24,729 As you know, the vice president recently signed 5 00:00:24,764 --> 00:00:26,731 an historic software agreement with Finland. 6 00:00:26,766 --> 00:00:28,934 Wasn't her trip to Europe overshadowed by the song? 7 00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:30,668 You know, the one where she mocked Europeans? 8 00:00:30,702 --> 00:00:32,302 She wasn't mocking Europeans. 9 00:00:32,337 --> 00:00:34,137 - I would say the song was jesty. - Jesty? 10 00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:35,973 But more importantly, right now the vice president 11 00:00:36,007 --> 00:00:38,208 is meeting with the House Majority Leader Mary King. 12 00:00:38,242 --> 00:00:39,877 And they are brokering a debt reduction deal 13 00:00:39,911 --> 00:00:41,879 that's going to avert a government shutdown. 14 00:00:41,913 --> 00:00:43,581 Selina Meyer's becoming one of the most 15 00:00:43,615 --> 00:00:46,183 effective American vice presidents in history. 16 00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,985 She was crucial in the freeing of the Uzbekistan hostages. 17 00:00:49,019 --> 00:00:51,721 - Correct? - Yes. 18 00:00:51,755 --> 00:00:53,255 The software-- 19 00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:56,058 Did she know that one of the hostages was a spy 20 00:00:56,093 --> 00:00:59,195 endangering the other three students? 21 00:00:59,229 --> 00:01:00,663 Um... 22 00:01:00,698 --> 00:01:02,398 possibly not quite at the time. 23 00:01:02,432 --> 00:01:04,666 So all this stuff she's been saying about 24 00:01:04,701 --> 00:01:07,503 being a crucial part of the military rescue is a lie. 25 00:01:07,537 --> 00:01:09,938 Okay, slow down, Leon. Is your blood sugar off? 26 00:01:09,973 --> 00:01:12,774 Have a pastry or some herring, okay? 27 00:01:12,809 --> 00:01:15,010 - Answer the question. - I don't know what she knew 28 00:01:15,044 --> 00:01:17,045 - or when she knew it, Leon. - Mike, Mike. 29 00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:20,515 Either she knew that the student was a spy 30 00:01:20,549 --> 00:01:22,016 and lied when she denied it, 31 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:24,318 or she didn't know that he was a spy, 32 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:27,488 but lied about knowing the details of the military rescue. 33 00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,557 This isn't "Meyer the Liar" again. 34 00:01:29,591 --> 00:01:30,925 Well, it is now. 35 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:32,793 This isn't going to be a cakewalk, Selina. 36 00:01:32,828 --> 00:01:34,528 - Oh. - This one's the hard bargaining. 37 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,162 Don't you worry. I know how to haggle. 38 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:37,731 You betcha. 39 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,233 - How are your boys? - They're great. 40 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,468 - How's Catherine? - She's 21. 41 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,504 - That's great. - Yeah, we're having her party tonight. 42 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,406 - So I'm excited about that. - Tonight? 43 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,576 Yeah. You know, all you ever want for these kids 44 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,977 - is to be happy and healthy. - Right. You bet. 45 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,913 And stay out of Middle East politics. 46 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,315 So two out of three ain't bad. 47 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,885 I'm amazed you can laugh about that. 48 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,022 Yes, that's what I do. I'm laughing about it. 49 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,957 She has that boyfriend. 50 00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,358 - You think that's going to actually lead to a marriage? - Should we get going... 51 00:02:07,392 --> 00:02:09,193 - with this business at hand? - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 52 00:02:09,227 --> 00:02:10,995 I wonder how it's going in there. 53 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:13,431 It's like waiting for a biopsy result. 54 00:02:13,465 --> 00:02:15,299 Mary's a player. 55 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:18,502 She did own Brian Earl in negotiations by pretending to faint. 56 00:02:18,537 --> 00:02:20,838 So after Catherine's birthday party tonight, you want to grab a bite? 57 00:02:20,873 --> 00:02:22,473 Talk about Helsinki, strategize a little bit? 58 00:02:22,507 --> 00:02:25,576 - I have a date for tonight. - Yeah. 59 00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:27,343 Yeah? 60 00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:29,379 - Who is it? - Ed. 61 00:02:29,413 --> 00:02:31,247 Ooh, and what does Ed do? 62 00:02:31,282 --> 00:02:32,916 Ed Webster is a fund-raiser for the party 63 00:02:32,951 --> 00:02:34,551 and he's worked for Selina for the past five years. 64 00:02:34,586 --> 00:02:37,020 - Sue. - Cracked under the questioning. 65 00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:39,421 He's one of Selina's guys? 66 00:02:39,456 --> 00:02:41,724 You swore you were only gonna date outside DC. 67 00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:43,693 He's not in DC. He works in Boston. 68 00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:46,128 Well, my mom doesn't live in Rome, but she's still a fucking Catholic. 69 00:02:46,162 --> 00:02:49,531 - Are you getting worked up, Danny? - Shut the fuck up, Gary. 70 00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:50,633 I'm so happy you're happy for me, Dan. 71 00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:52,167 Oh, what do you want, a fucking cake? 72 00:02:52,202 --> 00:02:54,703 Look, I can be happy. See? 73 00:02:54,737 --> 00:02:57,171 There you go. 74 00:02:57,206 --> 00:02:59,908 The only real cut here is unemployment insurance. 75 00:02:59,942 --> 00:03:02,611 Mary, POTUS is not gonna make any cuts 76 00:03:02,645 --> 00:03:04,846 to unemployment insurance and you know that. 77 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,915 Do I need to explain to you how haggling works? 78 00:03:06,949 --> 00:03:09,117 How about a 10% cut to NIH, okay? 79 00:03:09,151 --> 00:03:11,051 - I need 20. - I can't do those numbers. 80 00:03:11,086 --> 00:03:12,285 That's not gonna work. 81 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,321 - God bless you. - Thank you. 82 00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:17,858 Then the only obvious solution is unemployment insurance. 83 00:03:17,892 --> 00:03:21,629 No, I told you. I can't do that. 84 00:03:23,431 --> 00:03:26,366 What are you doing? 85 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,400 What? 86 00:03:28,435 --> 00:03:30,903 You stalling for time? 87 00:03:30,938 --> 00:03:32,371 Let me get you a Kleenex, yeah? 88 00:03:32,405 --> 00:03:34,540 I think it's over. Sneezes always come in threes. 89 00:03:34,574 --> 00:03:36,509 - Have you ever noticed that? - Really? Is that so? 90 00:03:36,543 --> 00:03:39,145 Oh, well, that was a fourth. 91 00:03:39,179 --> 00:03:42,048 So maybe I need to tell you about how counting works, right? 92 00:03:42,082 --> 00:03:44,215 - All right. - Okay. 93 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,818 - We can raise fees... - The what? 94 00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:49,121 - ...on Indian Health Services. - Hmm? You gonna faint? 95 00:03:49,155 --> 00:03:50,856 I'm not-- oh, very funny. 96 00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:52,891 - Do you want water? - Yes. 97 00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:56,194 I'll get you some water. 98 00:03:56,228 --> 00:03:58,563 - I'm gonna get you water. - Okay. 99 00:03:58,597 --> 00:04:00,798 - How's it going, ma'am? - Wow, you're really hardballing her, huh? 100 00:04:00,832 --> 00:04:03,134 No, she's pretending to cough herself inside out. 101 00:04:03,168 --> 00:04:04,669 Could you get her some water, please? 102 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,570 I don't know what-- 103 00:04:06,604 --> 00:04:10,107 Ooh! Oh, my God! Mary, are you all right? 104 00:04:10,142 --> 00:04:12,543 I think I'm having an allergic reaction. 105 00:04:12,577 --> 00:04:14,545 - What are you allergic to? - Is there cat hair? 106 00:04:14,579 --> 00:04:16,279 - I have cats. - Oh, Gary has cats. 107 00:04:16,313 --> 00:04:17,747 Wait, Gary, Gary, Gary. We need the water. 108 00:04:17,782 --> 00:04:20,150 Yeah, there you go. Is it this mohair? 109 00:04:20,184 --> 00:04:21,951 - It might be the mohair. - Do you think? 110 00:04:21,986 --> 00:04:23,619 - No, she's been here-- - The nuts? Is it the nuts? 111 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,055 - Did you eat nuts? No? - Mm-mmm. 112 00:04:25,089 --> 00:04:26,522 - Is it the flowers? - What? 113 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,591 The ones I got for Catherine's birthday. 114 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:30,626 Oh, Christ! Those fuckers! 115 00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,561 - That's it. - Shit, okay. All right, sorry. 116 00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:34,963 - Oh, God. - Gary, deflower the room. 117 00:04:34,998 --> 00:04:37,132 There's a sentence I bet you thought you'd never hear. 118 00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:38,701 I'm not good for another four hours. 119 00:04:38,735 --> 00:04:40,375 Selina, we've got to take this up tonight. 120 00:04:40,403 --> 00:04:43,238 Mary, I've got my daughter's 21st birthday. 121 00:04:43,272 --> 00:04:45,373 - Don't go. - I can't not go to her-- 122 00:04:45,408 --> 00:04:48,642 Would you miss your son's Civil Union ceremony? 123 00:04:48,677 --> 00:04:50,578 - I did. - Oh. 124 00:04:50,612 --> 00:04:53,715 Well, then, you have to come to Catherine's. 125 00:04:53,749 --> 00:04:56,818 - We've got to finish this tonight. - Yes, we do, tonight. 126 00:04:56,852 --> 00:05:00,588 Come. You can bring a plus one. 127 00:05:00,622 --> 00:05:03,724 Stick a coat and tie on a fucking oxygen tank. 128 00:05:03,758 --> 00:05:05,892 Mike, Leon West called my line twice. 129 00:05:05,927 --> 00:05:07,728 Did you lose your phone again? 130 00:05:07,762 --> 00:05:10,997 No, Leon's a little skeptical about the whole spy thing 131 00:05:11,032 --> 00:05:13,734 and some dumbass is resurrecting Meyer the Liar. 132 00:05:13,768 --> 00:05:16,837 Ugh, just because my last name rhymes with liar. 133 00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:20,505 How lucky am I that I'm not Selina Mapist 134 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,174 or Selina Medophile? 135 00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:25,577 I just saw Mary King. Looked like she's been thrown up by a whale. 136 00:05:25,612 --> 00:05:27,312 Yeah, she had an allergy attack. 137 00:05:27,347 --> 00:05:29,548 So did you do the deal? Tell me you did the deal. 138 00:05:29,582 --> 00:05:32,382 I'm gonna finish it tonight. She's coming to Catherine's birthday party. 139 00:05:32,385 --> 00:05:34,954 Jesus. You know, if we don't get this done by midnight, 140 00:05:34,988 --> 00:05:37,889 we're all gonna turn into ugly sisters and get eaten by wolves 141 00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:40,759 or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that story. 142 00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,128 Sonic boom in the room. Ma'am. 143 00:05:43,162 --> 00:05:44,829 - No. - Oh, okay. 144 00:05:44,864 --> 00:05:46,265 Well, POTUS wanted me to come down here 145 00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:48,059 and peep the skinny on the debt negotiations. 146 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:50,068 Okay, that's a fire hazard, so let's just... 147 00:05:50,102 --> 00:05:52,436 Gary, I have been sent here from the president. 148 00:05:52,471 --> 00:05:56,440 Okay, so the president's already going through a lot of pressure 149 00:05:56,475 --> 00:05:59,310 about this hostage lying bullshit. 150 00:05:59,344 --> 00:06:01,044 - He's under pressure? - Yes. 151 00:06:01,079 --> 00:06:03,514 - I'm under pressure. - Well, you do have a choice. 152 00:06:03,548 --> 00:06:05,849 You could say you were out of the loop for the hostage rescue, 153 00:06:05,884 --> 00:06:08,652 which would make you look clueless, or you could say you were in the loop, 154 00:06:08,686 --> 00:06:10,487 which would make you look devious. 155 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,189 Either way, just blur the fuck out of it. 156 00:06:13,223 --> 00:06:15,425 Uh-huh. 157 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,560 - Oh, fuck. - Ma'am. 158 00:06:17,595 --> 00:06:19,228 Anything that I should-- 159 00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:21,564 Amy, Ed Webster is here to see you. 160 00:06:21,599 --> 00:06:23,732 I think he's nervous. His voice sounded clammy. 161 00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:26,034 Oh, okay. That's good. That's good. 162 00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:28,036 Look at you all flustered. 163 00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:29,705 It's good that you'll have sex soon. 164 00:06:29,739 --> 00:06:32,474 Okay, guys, we need to prep two press releases 165 00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:35,110 for the end of the Mary King talks at the party tonight. 166 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,579 Okay, version one-- Selina Meyer 167 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:40,381 ends fiscal deadlock, saves America. 168 00:06:40,416 --> 00:06:43,785 Version two-- Mary King steals peace pipe, 169 00:06:43,819 --> 00:06:45,720 breaks it in half, shits all over it. 170 00:06:45,754 --> 00:06:47,588 Ma'am, your ex-husband just called. 171 00:06:47,623 --> 00:06:49,123 He says that he wants to pick up Catherine. 172 00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:52,560 No, I have a car picking her up already. I arranged that. 173 00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:55,929 He is such a conniving, grabby prick. 174 00:06:55,963 --> 00:06:57,364 - Is it typical or what? - Unbelievable. 175 00:06:57,398 --> 00:07:00,066 - Just wrong. - I hate him so much. 176 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,235 Sorry, can I ask why? 177 00:07:02,269 --> 00:07:04,170 This'll explain it perfectly. 178 00:07:04,205 --> 00:07:06,807 Valentine's Day a couple years ago, 179 00:07:06,841 --> 00:07:09,309 - he gave me a black Porsche... - Oh. 180 00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:11,644 that he bought with Catherine's trust fund money. 181 00:07:11,678 --> 00:07:14,647 - Oh. - I mean, he just fluffs ya, and then he fucks ya. 182 00:07:14,681 --> 00:07:16,449 Yeah. Well, speaking of... 183 00:07:16,483 --> 00:07:18,451 Oh, yeah, that's a perfect example. 184 00:07:18,485 --> 00:07:20,918 Here you go. So, he took me 185 00:07:20,953 --> 00:07:23,588 to Cap d'Antibes for the night. 186 00:07:23,622 --> 00:07:26,858 Yeah, they had crazy intercourse. 187 00:07:28,394 --> 00:07:30,362 Only after which he told me 188 00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:32,897 that he sold our second home. 189 00:07:32,931 --> 00:07:35,834 Yeah, yeah. He's like a belly dancer with a hammer. 190 00:07:35,868 --> 00:07:37,234 That would hurt. 191 00:07:37,268 --> 00:07:39,903 You know what? I'm not worried about Andy 192 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,840 because I'm gonna completely obliterate him 193 00:07:42,874 --> 00:07:45,809 with my fucking poise and sophistication. 194 00:07:45,844 --> 00:07:47,711 You know what I mean? 195 00:07:47,746 --> 00:07:49,713 - God, did you hear that? - Yeah, yeah. 196 00:07:49,748 --> 00:07:51,648 She's calling him Andy instead of Andrew. 197 00:07:51,683 --> 00:07:53,616 - It's starting. - What? 198 00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:55,718 Every time Andy's on the scene, 199 00:07:55,753 --> 00:07:57,420 - she gets all... - Giddy. 200 00:07:57,454 --> 00:08:00,423 She's-- this terrible laugh. 201 00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:03,559 - She's like... - Yeah, exactly. 202 00:08:03,594 --> 00:08:05,928 - With a... - Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 203 00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:08,330 - She just said that she hates him. - She does. 204 00:08:08,365 --> 00:08:10,331 But every time she gets around him... 205 00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:13,334 It's so weird. It's like a cat on a hot tin dog. 206 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,370 - Gary. - Yeah? 207 00:08:15,405 --> 00:08:17,639 - You know my red thing? - Yeah. 208 00:08:17,673 --> 00:08:20,074 Do you think that it shows enough skin? 209 00:08:20,976 --> 00:08:22,977 - Yeah. - Okay. 210 00:08:23,012 --> 00:08:25,913 I'm gonna be the sexiest woman to ever exude fiscal prudence. 211 00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:28,148 And you know what? That's a very fucking tough look to pull off. 212 00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:30,951 - Don't you think? - Okay, you can't wear a bra with that one. 213 00:08:30,985 --> 00:08:32,686 Yeah, I know. 214 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,822 - Amy. - Hey. 215 00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:37,658 - Hey. - Hey, Ed. How are-- 216 00:08:37,692 --> 00:08:39,927 So you all ready for the party? 217 00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:43,430 Um, fair warning, I party pretty hard. 218 00:08:43,464 --> 00:08:45,331 You should see me dance. 219 00:08:45,365 --> 00:08:46,525 - I can't be controlled. - Oh. 220 00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:48,367 - I do a lot of pelvic thrusts. - Oh. 221 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,102 Just very localized dancing. 222 00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:52,171 Very small orbits. 223 00:08:52,205 --> 00:08:54,106 I've been wrecking parties since I was 13. 224 00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,608 I was like the Hunter S. Thompson of bar mitzvahs. 225 00:08:56,643 --> 00:08:58,844 Hey, is the vice president here? 226 00:08:58,878 --> 00:09:00,779 I didn't want it to seem like I was lurking. 227 00:09:00,814 --> 00:09:02,013 Yeah, yeah. No, you're not. 228 00:09:02,048 --> 00:09:03,982 She'll be thrilled to see you again. 229 00:09:04,016 --> 00:09:05,984 Madam Vice President. 230 00:09:06,018 --> 00:09:08,119 Uh... hello? 231 00:09:08,154 --> 00:09:10,355 - Hi. - Hi. 232 00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:12,324 - Uh... - Ed. 233 00:09:12,358 --> 00:09:14,358 - You know Ed. - Yeah. 234 00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:16,828 Oh, yes! Oh, yes, of course. Oh, no. 235 00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:19,831 We-- we-- we-- we-- we met in... 236 00:09:19,865 --> 00:09:21,999 in Bumfuck, Idaho, I think it was. 237 00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:24,268 - DC. - Yes, yes. 238 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:27,104 That's what I like to call DC as a joke. 239 00:09:27,138 --> 00:09:29,205 Oh. 240 00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:31,741 - Well... - Great. Great. 241 00:09:31,776 --> 00:09:33,810 - I'll see you again soon, ma'am. - Okay. 242 00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:35,579 - We're meeting there, yeah? Okay. - Right. Bye. 243 00:09:35,613 --> 00:09:38,281 Hey, buddy, don't worry that she didn't remember you, okay? 244 00:09:38,315 --> 00:09:40,450 It's only 'cause you're a nonentity. 245 00:09:40,485 --> 00:09:43,152 - Who is he? - That was-- that's Ed Webster. 246 00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:46,755 He's my date for tonight. He runs your PAC's Boston office. 247 00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,891 - Oh. - He's really connected. 248 00:09:48,925 --> 00:09:50,392 Lobbyist turned fundraiser. 249 00:09:50,426 --> 00:09:52,795 Not the guy at a bus station with a bucket, right? 250 00:09:52,829 --> 00:09:55,464 Okay, I am ready to take on Andrew. 251 00:09:55,499 --> 00:09:59,668 I need my happy pills, a little bit of joy. 252 00:10:01,871 --> 00:10:04,171 So what do you think? Do you like it? 253 00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:07,742 - Yeah, it's-- it's unreal, Mom. - Right? 254 00:10:07,776 --> 00:10:09,911 I mean, don't you think that you and your friends 255 00:10:09,945 --> 00:10:12,079 would call this whole thing an epic succeed? 256 00:10:12,114 --> 00:10:13,347 Something like that, yeah. 257 00:10:13,382 --> 00:10:16,817 Ah, there's your dad doing that thing that he does. 258 00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:18,451 Pleasantly talking to other people? 259 00:10:18,486 --> 00:10:19,653 You know what he does. 260 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,688 He remembers one little thing about each person. 261 00:10:21,723 --> 00:10:23,757 Lawrence, nice to see you. You still running marathons? 262 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,727 - Yes, sir. - Right, surprised you still got any nipples left. 263 00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:29,830 And Jenny. Nice to see you. 264 00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:31,698 Remember that one time when you said 265 00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:35,267 you were way into "Twilight" and I thought you meant the time of day? 266 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:39,005 It really is the most dangerous time for traffic, though. 267 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,740 Please, enjoy yourselves. 268 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,441 - Andrew? - Mary. 269 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,310 - How are you? - Wonderful to see you, Congresswoman. 270 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:49,113 Mom, you've invited the House Majority Leader to my birthday party? 271 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,049 Yeah, sweetheart, it's the 100 billion cutoff. 272 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,251 - You've heard about that? - Of course I've heard about that. 273 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:56,187 Okay, so we are fixing the biggest problem facing the world 274 00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:58,156 right here, right now at your party. 275 00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,591 So that's kind of cool, don't you think? 276 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,426 - Hello. - Oh, hi. 277 00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,461 I got you a glass of champagne. 278 00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:05,963 Thank you, Rahim. You drink alcohol? 279 00:11:05,997 --> 00:11:09,132 - Yes, ma'am. - Oh, you Iranians are full of surprises. 280 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:10,601 - Cheers. - Salâmati. 281 00:11:10,635 --> 00:11:12,469 - What did he just say? - I don't know. 282 00:11:12,503 --> 00:11:14,237 Some gibberish. I can't understand him. 283 00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:16,373 Hey, baby, once you've said hello to everyone, 284 00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:17,875 do you want to go clubbing? 285 00:11:17,909 --> 00:11:20,143 Yeah. Anywhere but here. 286 00:11:20,178 --> 00:11:22,812 Ben, what are you doing here? 287 00:11:22,846 --> 00:11:24,414 - I spoke to POTUS. - Yeah? 288 00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:26,816 And he said okay on the cut to unemployment benefits. 289 00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,618 All the other deals are done. 290 00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:32,222 So come on, let's get this tied up so we can get this party started. 291 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,124 Yeah, I-- what did you do? 292 00:11:34,158 --> 00:11:35,792 You plus 10'd yourself here? 293 00:11:35,826 --> 00:11:38,260 Number crunchers to help you finish the deal. 294 00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:40,762 - Yeah. - And one of them is a designated driver 295 00:11:40,797 --> 00:11:43,132 because I am going to get fucked up. 296 00:11:46,002 --> 00:11:48,270 You look so good, you're like a work of art. 297 00:11:48,305 --> 00:11:51,140 You make this stuff look like shit. 298 00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:54,842 Compared to you, that Monet is a piece of shit. 299 00:11:56,845 --> 00:11:59,180 - Selina, are you ready? - Give me five minutes. 300 00:11:59,215 --> 00:12:01,116 I just got to go talk to Andrew, okay? 301 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,985 The ex? Three minutes. 302 00:12:04,019 --> 00:12:06,554 What, are you negotiating already? I'll give you four. 303 00:12:06,589 --> 00:12:08,990 - I'll cut her off at three, okay? - Mm-hmm. 304 00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:11,625 - Hi, Selina. - Hi, Andrew. 305 00:12:11,659 --> 00:12:14,595 It's nice to see you greeting everybody here at the party 306 00:12:14,629 --> 00:12:17,531 as if it was your own fabulous party. 307 00:12:17,565 --> 00:12:19,366 - Are you fucking with me? - I might be. 308 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,967 All right. 309 00:12:21,002 --> 00:12:23,470 - You look wonderful. - Thank you very much. 310 00:12:23,505 --> 00:12:25,338 You're very tanned. What is that? 311 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:27,540 Grand Cayman. I've been starting to scuba dive. 312 00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:29,875 - Oh. - Magical to be down there. 313 00:12:29,909 --> 00:12:32,211 - Uh-huh. - With the coral and the fish. 314 00:12:32,246 --> 00:12:33,812 Feeling up all the mermaids. 315 00:12:33,847 --> 00:12:35,881 They should cover up if they don't want it. 316 00:12:35,915 --> 00:12:38,184 If they don't want action, they shouldn't advertise. 317 00:12:38,218 --> 00:12:41,586 - Oh, gosh. - Our little Catherine. 318 00:12:41,621 --> 00:12:44,456 - She's still cute. Mm-hmm. 319 00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,090 Remember that first apartment? 320 00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:48,193 Yeah, I do remember that apartment. 321 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:50,328 That was a nice apartment, actually. 322 00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:52,330 - It was. - Yeah. 323 00:12:52,365 --> 00:12:56,100 What are you doing? Are you gonna propose? 324 00:12:56,135 --> 00:12:58,702 What would your answer be? 325 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,072 My answer would be Jesus fucking Christ. 326 00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:05,643 Uh, ma'am. Mary King is very anxious to speak with you. 327 00:13:05,677 --> 00:13:07,311 - Oh, right. Right. - At Catherine's birthday? 328 00:13:07,345 --> 00:13:09,213 Well, I'm trying to keep the government from shutting down. 329 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,582 - Well, get on it. - I'm getting on it. 330 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:12,949 Yeah, okay. 331 00:13:12,984 --> 00:13:15,818 Did you see that? I had him in the palm of my hand. 332 00:13:15,852 --> 00:13:19,121 Well, technically, ma'am, he had the palm of your hand in his hand. 333 00:13:19,156 --> 00:13:21,891 - Oh. - You need to be really careful, sweetie. 334 00:13:21,925 --> 00:13:25,495 Gary, you just called me sweetie. 335 00:13:25,529 --> 00:13:27,564 Oh, my God! I'm sorry. 336 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:30,999 - That's what I call Dana. - Did you ever call Dana ma'am? 337 00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:33,068 I did once and it was awful. 338 00:13:33,102 --> 00:13:35,870 If I were drunk right now, would you kiss me? 339 00:13:37,307 --> 00:13:40,676 - Yeah. - No, Gary, I'm kidding. 340 00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:43,044 - Right. - Yeah. 341 00:13:45,747 --> 00:13:47,348 I'm gonna get a drink. 342 00:13:47,382 --> 00:13:49,116 - Mary. - Okay! 343 00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:51,285 It's time to drop a party bomb up in here. 344 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,688 Happy 21st birthday, Catherine! 345 00:13:55,156 --> 00:13:58,559 I want to talk to you about targeted base closings. 346 00:13:58,594 --> 00:14:00,828 Not if it upsets my district. 347 00:14:00,862 --> 00:14:02,429 Something sex my dick trick? 348 00:14:02,463 --> 00:14:05,098 - Did you say dick? - Sex your dick trick. 349 00:14:05,132 --> 00:14:06,999 I don't understand what you just said. 350 00:14:07,034 --> 00:14:08,868 It was funny. We got to get out of here. 351 00:14:08,902 --> 00:14:11,771 - All right. Where? - I don't know. We'll find someplace. 352 00:14:11,805 --> 00:14:14,173 You know, you look great in an art gallery 353 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:16,743 'cause you kind of are a work of art. 354 00:14:16,777 --> 00:14:20,546 I mean, I know I'd like to nail you up against a wall. 355 00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:22,781 No, that was knowing. I was being knowing. 356 00:14:22,815 --> 00:14:25,584 It looks like we're gonna be able to move 357 00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:27,185 on unemployment. 358 00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:28,887 - Unemployment benefits? - Yes. 359 00:14:28,921 --> 00:14:30,322 - On the table? - Yeah. 360 00:14:30,357 --> 00:14:33,824 Okay, I'm authorized to come down on OSHA from 25 to 17. 361 00:14:33,859 --> 00:14:35,960 No, I need a single digit. 362 00:14:35,994 --> 00:14:37,995 I can't give you a single digit. 363 00:14:38,029 --> 00:14:40,931 We'd have to make it up elsewhere and you know you can't do that. 364 00:14:40,966 --> 00:14:43,968 And we are gonna make it up elsewhere. Hang on just a second. 365 00:14:44,002 --> 00:14:47,405 Hey, gals. Gals, you need to keep it down, okay? 366 00:14:47,439 --> 00:14:49,799 There are other people in here trying to have a conversation. 367 00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,541 But she took my boyfriend's number! 368 00:14:51,576 --> 00:14:53,176 - Oh, my God. - He gave it to me! 369 00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:56,280 You haven't given me a number on unemployment benefits. 370 00:14:56,314 --> 00:14:59,683 - My number's gonna be .4%. - .4? 371 00:14:59,717 --> 00:15:01,685 - Yeah. - I can't-- 372 00:15:01,719 --> 00:15:03,920 - I can't do this. Let's go. - No. 373 00:15:03,954 --> 00:15:06,355 I can't do math with this kind of noise. 374 00:15:06,390 --> 00:15:09,124 - I cannot stand teenage girls. - Were you ever one? 375 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,760 - Never. - Me neither. 376 00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:14,730 Amy and Ed work for the VP, 377 00:15:14,765 --> 00:15:17,600 K-I-S-S-I-N-G. 378 00:15:17,634 --> 00:15:19,868 - Fuck off, Mike. - Sure. 379 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,471 Hey, the veep looks smoking tonight. 380 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,039 I wonder how much vodka we'd need to have 381 00:15:25,073 --> 00:15:27,375 to have a little Mrs. Robinson moment. 382 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,477 That is extremely disrespectful. 383 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:30,978 What are you talking about? 384 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,747 That's like the highest compliment you can give somebody. 385 00:15:32,782 --> 00:15:34,482 Oh, by the way, 386 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,451 I love how much you guys being together is fucking with Dan. 387 00:15:37,485 --> 00:15:40,487 Amy and Dan used to date, FYI. 388 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:42,623 Yeah, thanks for the backgrounding, Jonah. 389 00:15:42,657 --> 00:15:44,325 Does that mean you're back on the market? 390 00:15:44,359 --> 00:15:47,394 I'm sorry, are you hitting on my date during my date? 391 00:15:47,429 --> 00:15:48,729 Are you on meds? 392 00:15:48,763 --> 00:15:51,298 Yeah, antibiotics. Just keeping fresh. 393 00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:53,399 I'm not mentally ill 394 00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:55,868 if that's what you're implying. 395 00:16:02,676 --> 00:16:05,378 Uh, hello? Hi. 396 00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:08,414 Hi, everyone. I just wanted to say 397 00:16:08,449 --> 00:16:11,950 a couple of words to my awesome daughter. 398 00:16:14,687 --> 00:16:16,955 You know, I wanted to pause and just say 399 00:16:16,989 --> 00:16:19,958 that I think at times like these 400 00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:23,228 it is great to see family and friends 401 00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:25,929 and to hear family and friends. 402 00:16:25,964 --> 00:16:28,298 To be able to talk and to listen 403 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:32,202 and to speak and to be heard. 404 00:16:32,237 --> 00:16:35,806 And I think sometimes we need to just take time. 405 00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:39,610 Not long at all. I mean, maybe 10 minutes or-- 406 00:16:39,644 --> 00:16:43,413 okay, or maybe 15 is also good. 407 00:16:43,447 --> 00:16:48,118 I'm gonna suggest that we have a little constructive talking time. 408 00:16:48,152 --> 00:16:51,654 So do you have any sort of chillaxing kind of music? 409 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:54,524 And then you keep that playing until-- 410 00:16:54,558 --> 00:16:57,127 only until-- look at me-- I give you a signal. 411 00:16:57,161 --> 00:16:58,694 - Not before. - Sure. 412 00:16:58,728 --> 00:17:02,265 Ooh, and happy birthday, 413 00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:04,267 Catherine! 414 00:17:08,571 --> 00:17:13,276 - All right. - If you can give me 1% on unemployment benefits... 415 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:16,344 - Yeah. - I can go 10 on NIH, 416 00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:18,780 eight off agricultural subsidies. 417 00:17:18,814 --> 00:17:21,181 The baseline is your budget proposal from last year. 418 00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:23,384 - Right. Okay. - Okay, those numbers add up? 419 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,219 - I make it 10. - 12. 420 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,921 12? How'd you get that? 421 00:17:26,955 --> 00:17:28,889 - You're forgetting energy. - Of course. 422 00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:31,525 Check this out, then. Do we have a deal? 423 00:17:31,559 --> 00:17:32,893 Okay, yeah, great. 424 00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,761 - Yeah, we have a deal. - Yeah! 425 00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:37,530 - It nearly killed me, but we have a deal. - Put 'er there. 426 00:17:37,564 --> 00:17:39,232 - Put 'er there. - Congratulations. 427 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,666 - I can't believe it. - Isn't that-- 428 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:42,340 I can't believe it, Mary. That's so great. 429 00:17:42,369 --> 00:17:44,603 It's good. Now I have to sell it to my caucus 430 00:17:44,638 --> 00:17:46,839 - before I turn into a pumpkin. - You'll do it. 431 00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,508 Yeah. Oh, God. 432 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,580 Jesus, 21-year-olds move fast. 433 00:17:55,614 --> 00:17:57,816 Yeah, tell me about it. 434 00:17:59,118 --> 00:18:00,718 You look good, ma'am. 435 00:18:00,753 --> 00:18:03,021 - Oh, thanks, Jonah. - You look really good. 436 00:18:03,056 --> 00:18:05,723 - Thank you. - Yes, ma'am. 437 00:18:11,163 --> 00:18:13,097 Have you guys seen this? 438 00:18:13,131 --> 00:18:15,866 "When the cake was cut and the guests sang 'Happy Birthday, ' 439 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,901 the VP was nowhere to be seen." 440 00:18:17,936 --> 00:18:19,770 They're saying I had some sort of huge fight 441 00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:23,040 with Andrew and that our relationship is a sham. 442 00:18:23,075 --> 00:18:25,808 Monsters. It's like first Princess Diana, now this. 443 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:27,210 They think that at the beginning of the night 444 00:18:27,244 --> 00:18:29,980 you and Andrew were playing it up to the cameras. 445 00:18:30,014 --> 00:18:32,915 And they're using this Meyer the Liar bullshit again. 446 00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:34,750 Hey, Mike, who dug that up? 447 00:18:34,785 --> 00:18:37,520 I don't know. Probably just some idiot remembered it 448 00:18:37,554 --> 00:18:39,055 and then all of a sudden it got traction. 449 00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:40,357 And this is from "HuffPo." 450 00:18:40,391 --> 00:18:42,257 Randall Howard's forthcoming book 451 00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:44,973 claims your relationship with Andrew during the presidential campaign 452 00:18:44,995 --> 00:18:47,997 was a lie invented by you to mislead voters. 453 00:18:48,031 --> 00:18:49,565 That's a lie, right? 454 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,433 - Yeah. - I mean, it's true 455 00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:53,936 and it's what happened, but it's Kent's lie. 456 00:18:53,971 --> 00:18:55,070 - It's not my lie. - Right. 457 00:18:55,105 --> 00:18:57,606 Meyer the Liar has huge mo right now. 458 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,109 You know, as people say, if it rhymes, it chimes. 459 00:19:01,143 --> 00:19:03,344 Who says that? No one says that. 460 00:19:03,379 --> 00:19:05,480 I'm pretty sure I heard someone say that. 461 00:19:05,515 --> 00:19:07,155 Well, it's becoming a narrative right now. 462 00:19:07,182 --> 00:19:10,552 And the narrative is that you faked it before, 463 00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:11,987 so you must be faking it now. 464 00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:13,754 Oh, great. Here's Eeyore. 465 00:19:13,788 --> 00:19:15,723 Deal, boom. Party, boom. 466 00:19:15,757 --> 00:19:17,591 You are the boom boom veep. 467 00:19:17,626 --> 00:19:21,261 Well, Catherine didn't appreciate the fiscal party crashers last night. 468 00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:22,997 Andy and I have to take her out to dinner tonight 469 00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:25,132 to make up for the party last night, so... 470 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:26,734 Okay, it'll be in public. 471 00:19:26,768 --> 00:19:29,102 So whatever you do, don't look like you're faking it 472 00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:32,872 because this Meyer the Liar thing is just an avalanche of shit right now. 473 00:19:32,907 --> 00:19:34,941 Yeah, tell me about it. And I'm swimming in it 474 00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:36,709 and I'm breathing it in through my snorkel. 475 00:19:36,744 --> 00:19:38,745 You need to issue a statement, okay? 476 00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:41,014 - My private life is private. - Yes. 477 00:19:41,048 --> 00:19:43,482 Besides, Andrew and I, we get along just fine. 478 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:45,051 Ironically, Ben, 479 00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:47,586 we actually are getting along just fine. 480 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,221 That's great. That's a great fake. 481 00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:52,424 No, it's not a fake. That's a real thing. 482 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:55,761 Oh. Well, great. Say that. 483 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,763 I'm so sorry. 484 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,264 That party last night 485 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,199 turned into an economic summit. 486 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,568 But you know what? Here we are now for you. 487 00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,469 - Happy birthday. - And to you, 488 00:20:05,503 --> 00:20:08,238 a man who swims with sharks. 489 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,207 - Also starting free diving. - Really? What is that? 490 00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:13,510 Is that when you try and hold your breath for as long as possible? 491 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,213 Kind of like sitting next to my mother after Thanksgiving dinner. 492 00:20:18,382 --> 00:20:20,016 Mom, you're doing your fake laugh again. 493 00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:22,285 - What? - Come on, this is nice. 494 00:20:22,319 --> 00:20:23,954 I can't tell if it's fake. 495 00:20:23,988 --> 00:20:26,056 You could never tell if it was fake. 496 00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,156 Yes, I could. 497 00:20:27,191 --> 00:20:30,026 Mm-hmm. What are you, some sort of expert? 498 00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:32,095 In certain areas. 499 00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:34,463 - What is going on right now? - This is flirting. 500 00:20:34,497 --> 00:20:36,932 Your mother is an excellent flirt. 501 00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:38,400 You should take flirting notes. 502 00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:39,902 This is not flirting. 503 00:20:39,936 --> 00:20:43,271 This is like as subtle as putting a nude photo on Facebook. 504 00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:46,174 Do you think Selina would notice the invisible man 505 00:20:46,209 --> 00:20:49,044 from the Boston PAC office if I showed up at the office 506 00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:50,645 in a Pac-Man costume? 507 00:20:50,679 --> 00:20:53,114 I know, I'm sorry. 508 00:20:53,148 --> 00:20:55,083 I'm sorry, why are you sorry? 509 00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:56,618 I don't know. 510 00:20:56,652 --> 00:20:59,721 I heard whining and I assumed I needed to apologize. 511 00:20:59,755 --> 00:21:02,824 How long have you not been listening to me? 512 00:21:02,858 --> 00:21:05,526 I just really need to watch this because Andrew 513 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,094 is like a dormant volcano 514 00:21:07,128 --> 00:21:09,529 and he can just blow at any second. 515 00:21:09,563 --> 00:21:11,732 I think I'm gonna have the scallops. 516 00:21:11,766 --> 00:21:13,634 - I think I'm gonna have-- - I know what you're gonna have. 517 00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:16,737 - You are going to have-- - Don't do that. 518 00:21:16,771 --> 00:21:18,238 - Hmm? - Put your hand down. 519 00:21:18,272 --> 00:21:22,508 I can't stand that alpha male arrogant thing. 520 00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:23,909 I really can't stand it, Andrew. 521 00:21:23,944 --> 00:21:25,911 Okay, it's not arrogant. 522 00:21:25,946 --> 00:21:28,080 And fuck you for thinking so. 523 00:21:28,115 --> 00:21:31,083 Forgive me, I was just anticipating your order. 524 00:21:31,118 --> 00:21:33,719 - Which was? - Lamb cutlets. 525 00:21:33,754 --> 00:21:35,320 No. 526 00:21:35,355 --> 00:21:36,922 Yeah. I'm sorry I know you, Selina. 527 00:21:36,957 --> 00:21:38,857 Forgive me. You're not a big mystery to me. 528 00:21:38,891 --> 00:21:41,926 And I'm very much enjoying the plastered-on smile, 529 00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:44,428 pretending everything's okay because people are watching. 530 00:21:44,463 --> 00:21:46,430 Don't be a bastard, Andrew. 531 00:21:46,465 --> 00:21:49,000 You've got to do the same face. 532 00:21:49,035 --> 00:21:51,402 You put it on, too. There we go. 533 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:54,639 Okay, well, now this flirting is a little bit more subtle. 534 00:21:54,673 --> 00:21:56,807 So, Ed. Eddie. 535 00:21:56,841 --> 00:21:58,876 Who do you know? Do you know Ray McCaskill? 536 00:21:58,910 --> 00:22:00,978 Yeah, he's a great guy. 537 00:22:01,012 --> 00:22:03,247 We both are really into '80s buddy comedies, 538 00:22:03,282 --> 00:22:05,316 which is ironically how we became buddies. 539 00:22:05,350 --> 00:22:06,850 Fuck buddies. 540 00:22:06,885 --> 00:22:08,553 Jonah, why are you here? 541 00:22:08,587 --> 00:22:10,853 You really don't have anything to do, do you? 542 00:22:10,888 --> 00:22:14,123 - Look, ignore him. - Ignore who? 543 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:18,928 Hey, I think that lady right there just took a photo of Selina. 544 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:20,263 This one? 545 00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:23,032 I understand that you guys have a love-hate relationship, 546 00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:25,101 but most people alternate emotions. 547 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:27,336 They don't experience them at the same time. 548 00:22:27,370 --> 00:22:29,037 We've always had a volatile relationship. 549 00:22:29,072 --> 00:22:30,939 By that you mean bat shit crazy. 550 00:22:30,973 --> 00:22:33,742 - Passion was always an integral part. - Yeah. 551 00:22:33,776 --> 00:22:35,844 Yes, there was fights. Long, hard fights. 552 00:22:35,878 --> 00:22:39,748 Followed by long, hard... 553 00:22:39,782 --> 00:22:41,149 making up, right? 554 00:22:41,184 --> 00:22:43,984 Okay, I feel like you're actually going to have sex 555 00:22:44,019 --> 00:22:46,954 on this table and that would truly ruin my birthday. 556 00:22:46,988 --> 00:22:50,625 Catherine, please. Nobody's having sex on the table. 557 00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:55,563 - I mean, we are sexual beings, of course. - Oh, my God. 558 00:22:55,598 --> 00:22:57,098 We had sex. We, you know-- 559 00:22:57,132 --> 00:23:00,434 - I mean, great sex. - Great sex. 560 00:23:00,468 --> 00:23:03,470 Well, I'm going to have to text my therapist. 561 00:23:03,504 --> 00:23:05,505 What's the whole not drinking thing? 562 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:07,307 - I'm a Quaker. - What? 563 00:23:07,342 --> 00:23:10,009 Bullshit. No one's a fucking Quaker. 564 00:23:10,044 --> 00:23:12,346 You probably think that staying sober keeps you on top of your game. 565 00:23:12,380 --> 00:23:15,414 Well, guess what. I work hard and I play hard, bitch. 566 00:23:15,449 --> 00:23:16,815 That's my credo. 567 00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:20,152 I got that shit tattooed on my dick with room to spare. 568 00:23:20,186 --> 00:23:22,187 Jonah, you're not even a man. 569 00:23:22,222 --> 00:23:24,490 You're like an early draft of a man 570 00:23:24,524 --> 00:23:27,627 where they just sketched out a giant mangled skeleton, 571 00:23:27,661 --> 00:23:29,328 but they didn't have time to add details 572 00:23:29,363 --> 00:23:30,762 like pigment or self-respect. 573 00:23:30,796 --> 00:23:33,097 You're Frankenstein's monster 574 00:23:33,132 --> 00:23:36,368 if his monster was made entirely of dead dicks. 575 00:23:37,703 --> 00:23:39,237 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 576 00:23:39,272 --> 00:23:41,806 Just try not to embarrass yourselves while I'm gone. 577 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,408 We'll give it a shot. 578 00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:45,910 Nice to see you. 579 00:23:45,944 --> 00:23:47,844 Um, I'm sorry. 580 00:23:47,879 --> 00:23:49,747 - Can I interrupt a second? - Uh, no. 581 00:23:49,781 --> 00:23:52,483 It just looks like there's a lot of people who are tweeting 582 00:23:52,517 --> 00:23:55,552 and taking pictures, so you might want to be gesture-aware. 583 00:23:55,587 --> 00:23:57,788 It's fine. Thank you. You can go. 584 00:24:01,693 --> 00:24:03,726 - Okay? - Yeah, okay. 585 00:24:05,629 --> 00:24:07,397 I want to tell you something. 586 00:24:07,431 --> 00:24:09,766 What? 587 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,368 Um, the head of PR 588 00:24:12,403 --> 00:24:15,004 told me that our company funded super PACs 589 00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:17,740 on both sides during the last election. 590 00:24:17,775 --> 00:24:20,642 I just was fluffed 591 00:24:20,677 --> 00:24:22,944 and then I got fucked. 592 00:24:22,978 --> 00:24:26,948 I cannot believe what you are telling me. 593 00:24:26,982 --> 00:24:29,150 Do you know-- smile. 594 00:24:29,185 --> 00:24:32,721 Smile, you stupid asshole. Make it bigger. 595 00:24:32,755 --> 00:24:34,622 There you go. 596 00:24:34,656 --> 00:24:38,025 Do you have any idea how the press is all over me right now? 597 00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:41,128 And how they are gonna run with the story 598 00:24:41,162 --> 00:24:43,664 about me funding my opponent? 599 00:24:43,699 --> 00:24:46,567 You're a stupid fucking prick. 600 00:24:46,601 --> 00:24:48,569 Right? You say it. 601 00:24:48,603 --> 00:24:50,070 I'm not gonna say that. 602 00:24:50,104 --> 00:24:52,271 Okay, what happened now? 603 00:24:52,306 --> 00:24:55,442 You guys look like you're going to stab each other with steak knives. 604 00:24:55,476 --> 00:24:58,211 We're having a fight and we are smiling 605 00:24:58,245 --> 00:25:01,348 and putting a face on and you can do that, too. There you go. 606 00:25:01,382 --> 00:25:03,282 Selina, this is just business. 607 00:25:03,317 --> 00:25:05,385 We want to end up with the winner at the end. 608 00:25:05,419 --> 00:25:08,019 There's nothing personal about it, I promise. 609 00:25:08,054 --> 00:25:09,388 I didn't even know about it. 610 00:25:09,422 --> 00:25:11,724 Oh, that's utter bullshit. 611 00:25:11,758 --> 00:25:14,192 But you know what? I'm keeping it together. 612 00:25:14,227 --> 00:25:16,628 I really am. It's all good. 613 00:25:16,663 --> 00:25:18,997 - We can keep smiling. - Keep smiling. Yeah. 614 00:25:19,031 --> 00:25:20,833 I think that if you guys continue to smile, 615 00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:23,101 you're actually gonna get permanent lockjaw. 616 00:25:23,135 --> 00:25:24,870 She's so funny. 617 00:25:24,904 --> 00:25:27,305 - Isn't she? - Sarcastic. 618 00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:29,674 I'm sorry to interrupt. I just had a call from Kent. 619 00:25:29,708 --> 00:25:33,245 Oh, to congratulate me 'cause I made the deal last night. 620 00:25:33,279 --> 00:25:34,913 - America thanks you. - You're welcome. 621 00:25:34,947 --> 00:25:36,848 POTUS is going to stall on that deal. 622 00:25:36,883 --> 00:25:39,416 No, no, no. Why would he want to do that? That can't be right. 623 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:41,585 Well, it sounds to me like he wants a government shutdown 624 00:25:41,619 --> 00:25:44,388 so he can blame it on Congress and take the heat out of the spy story. 625 00:25:44,422 --> 00:25:46,556 - Did you hear that? - Yeah. 626 00:25:46,591 --> 00:25:49,059 Fuck POTUS. Right? And fuck Kent. 627 00:25:49,094 --> 00:25:50,794 They're just a bunch of fuckers. 628 00:25:50,828 --> 00:25:52,162 - Uh-oh. - No, no, no. 629 00:25:52,197 --> 00:25:54,098 Did they just get that? Me being angry? 630 00:25:54,132 --> 00:25:56,732 - Oh, yeah. - But I wasn't being angry with you. 631 00:25:56,767 --> 00:25:58,834 I mean, I was angry with you before, 632 00:25:58,869 --> 00:26:00,836 but I'm not angry with you now. 633 00:26:00,871 --> 00:26:04,240 - I understand that, honey. - Don't call me honey for starters. 634 00:26:04,275 --> 00:26:05,942 You have to calm down. You look crazed. 635 00:26:05,976 --> 00:26:08,177 - Can we confiscate that phone, please? - I wish we could. 636 00:26:08,212 --> 00:26:09,879 - I think it's too late. - Excuse me. 637 00:26:09,914 --> 00:26:12,781 There's a picture on Twitter and it looks like you guys are fighting. 638 00:26:12,815 --> 00:26:15,483 - What? From that? - Yes. 639 00:26:15,518 --> 00:26:18,586 Look at this. Look. This is not what it is. 640 00:26:18,621 --> 00:26:20,956 I'm pointing to you because I'm mad about POTUS. 641 00:26:20,990 --> 00:26:23,025 I wasn't saying that I was angry to you about you. 642 00:26:23,059 --> 00:26:24,559 Okay, Lee, you're just making it worse. 643 00:26:24,593 --> 00:26:26,228 I'm not making it worse. They're making it worse. 644 00:26:26,262 --> 00:26:28,396 - Dad, don't do that thing. - Would you just cut that out? 645 00:26:28,430 --> 00:26:30,364 Everybody sing. 646 00:26:30,399 --> 00:26:33,301 Nope, nope, nope. We have to go. 647 00:26:33,335 --> 00:26:36,137 - Okay. Okay. - Blow out your candles, honey. 648 00:26:36,171 --> 00:26:38,272 - What's the point? - Okay, I'll do it. 649 00:26:38,307 --> 00:26:39,673 - Make a wish. - There, it's out. 650 00:26:39,707 --> 00:26:41,275 You can make your wish in the car. 651 00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:43,509 - All right. All right. - Get all my stuff. 652 00:26:43,544 --> 00:26:45,711 Oh, no, that's fine. I'll get your stuff. 653 00:26:45,746 --> 00:26:48,214 Okay, happy birthday. 654 00:26:59,192 --> 00:27:01,327 This is good here. 655 00:27:01,361 --> 00:27:03,162 I'll get out. 656 00:27:04,897 --> 00:27:06,832 What? You're getting out here? 657 00:27:06,866 --> 00:27:08,133 - Yep. - What are you talking about? 658 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:10,102 - I've got to go. - Wait a minute. 659 00:27:10,136 --> 00:27:13,238 Wait. Andrew, wait. Wait. We need to talk. 660 00:27:13,273 --> 00:27:15,940 Bye, honey. Happy birthday. 661 00:27:15,975 --> 00:27:17,875 - Wait, what? - God damn it. 662 00:27:17,909 --> 00:27:20,078 What are you doing running away? 663 00:27:20,112 --> 00:27:22,480 - I cannot believe you. - Come here. 664 00:27:22,514 --> 00:27:25,082 - Oh, my God, what are you doing? - Come here right now. 665 00:27:25,116 --> 00:27:27,818 What are you doing? Oh! 666 00:27:27,853 --> 00:27:30,354 Oh, my God. 667 00:27:44,167 --> 00:27:47,203 Hey, Catherine. 668 00:27:47,237 --> 00:27:49,405 Pretty nice cake you got there. 669 00:27:52,009 --> 00:27:54,576 You gonna eat all of it? 670 00:27:54,611 --> 00:27:56,077 Do you want a piece? 671 00:27:56,112 --> 00:27:58,279 - I do. - You want a piece of the cake? 672 00:27:59,849 --> 00:28:01,617 Jesus fucking Christ. Here. 673 00:28:01,651 --> 00:28:03,385 Take that. 674 00:28:03,419 --> 00:28:05,587 Carrot cake's good. 675 00:28:08,057 --> 00:28:10,124 - You want to try it? - Nope. 676 00:28:10,158 --> 00:28:12,359 It's all yours. 677 00:28:12,394 --> 00:28:14,695 I can use my phone to cut it. 678 00:28:14,815 --> 00:28:21,523 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com