3 GUNSHOTS Robbie!
NIDGE: I don't have time for this. I've a wedding, you know?
DARREN: Jimmy Byrne, yeah? He had nothing to do with Robbie.
I sort of shot Robbie.
He owed me money from before he was inside.
How much? 300.
300? 300 what? Euros.
Where did you run off to? I was off seeing Rosie. And?
It's all good.
Just don't stay with someone you don't love.
ROSIE: Get out of my way. Where are you going?
I'm going to get out of your house. Don't push me!
I feel very...
fragile.
I don't know.
I can't even say his name.
I always thought that by the time I was this age, I'd be...
I never thought I'd be here.
No place to just... be.
I don't even want to go to London.
Do you know what I want to do?
I want to live in an empty house somewhere,
just go asleep.
It's stupid.
If you want, I'll go to London with you.
If you want.
Two bottles of wine and I'm not even drunk.
What time is it?
It's half 4.
I've to be at the airport in three hours. I'll take you.
Can I tell you something? Yeah.
I know you lost Robbie.
But people think, just because the baby wasn't born yet, it's like...
it doesn't matter.
And I know they don't mean to, but they say the most horrible things.
My sister... I know she means well,
but I'm in the hospital and she's telling me about her fucking miscarriage at two months
and she's like... I know how it feels and all
and it would be worse if the baby was born and then she died.
At least I didn't get to know her.
But I did know her.
I knew her and I didn't get to see her.
I knew who she was.
She had her own little soul, you know?
And I'm...
I'd be brushing her hair and I'd say...
100 brush strokes for a little princess.
And I'd have my hand on her head and I'd be brushing her hair
and she'd just be staring straight ahead in her own little world.
And I'd take her shopping to buy little dresses.
She wasn't even allowed to breathe.
And I know she could feel it.
She was terrified, the poor little thing.
And when I woke up,
I knew she was gone.
I don't want you to kill him.
Because then I'd be tied to him forever.
But I've been thinking about it
and I know what I want.
I want him...
to feel pain.
> Stumpy?
MUSIC
Girls, could you go in and watch TV, please?
What happened your hands?
Stumpy's head. Aw, Darren!
You asked, I'm telling you.
He got off lucky. If it was up to me, it would have been worse.
I found this upstairs.
Shit! Yeah.
I'm sorry. That's not good enough. How could you do this?
Keep something like this in the house after the last time?
I can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am, Darren.
I am sorry, Mary. You're sorry? That's no use to me.
One of the girls could have found it. Did you think about that?
The house could have been raided. I could go to prison and have my kid taken off me.
I swear, I meant to find a place for it.
I want you to be safe.
But you can't.
I need you to move out, for a while anyway.
TRISH: This is a nightmare. What am I supposed to do?
Are they coming? Are they not coming?
Are you going to answer me that? What can I do?
Just tell me are they coming? They didn't say they weren't.
What's wrong with being a decent human being and having the common courtesy to RSVP?
Do you know which one IS coming?
Well, Mary is one of your... Bridesmaids.
So I'd say Darren is coming.
And John Boy and Hughie, they'd all just go on different sides of the room.
You could always ask them not to come. I couldn't do that, could I?
What are you looking at me like that for?
MUSIC
Hoohah!
NIDGE: Seeya later, Elmo. Seeya later.
HUGHIE: Here, Nidge, before you go.
What do you think of my wedding suit?
Why would you need that? Darren is not coming, is he?
Is he?
Um... Mary is bridesmaid so...
Look, I'll put yous on other sides of the room.
Aw no, Nidge, you're not putting me at the back of the room, are you?
With the aunties and the uncles and the cousins that you don't know.
No, man, I'll put you at the top table, if you want.
I don't think so, Nidge. What do you mean?
I'm not coming. John Boy!
No, it's okay, don't worry about it. No, no.
Mary is Trish's bridesmaid so I can't tell her she can't have her.
I know. I said don't worry about it.
But I want you to come.
But I'm not coming, am I?
Whatever you think yourself, man,
but if you could make it, that would be... you know. Yeah.
That would be great.
Right, seeya later.
TOMMY: Do you not think it's a bad idea going to the wedding?
Mary is going so I'm not letting her go on her own.
Don't go if you don't want to. No, I'm coming.
There you go, brother.
Do you think he can hear you?
What do YOU think?
Who do you reckon smokes them then?
Winos.
NIDGE: Alright? TRISH: There you are.
Danielle, this is Nigel.
He has an appointment for the back, sac and crack. What?
How many Brazilians have I gotten done for you?
It's the least you can do.
I'm only joking. Yeah.
I've a bit of good news.
The others aren't coming. Really? Yeah, so there'll be no hassle.
What did you say? I said... you know.
Aw, baby!
There, you're all done.
Do you want to come through to the tanning room? Do I have to?
HUGHIE: That's out of order, that is.
I don't see why he goes and we don't get to go.
JOHN BOY: If you want to go, go. I didn't want to go anyway.
Yeah, but Nidge should have barred Darren.
What's wrong with you? Headache? Yeah.
What you need is a good massage.
ELMO: There's this auld one I went to last week, lovely little Chinese bird up the road.
Gives you a rub and tug. Unbelievable!
She's about 60 but the heat from her hands, it's from doing that Tai Chi.
She lets you have a kip there afterwards as well.
Elmo, man, you're hilarious.
Seriously, man, you should go.
Here, Elmo, how would you like to make some money?
Yeah, sure.
Get your teeth fixed up for you as well, get them capped and whitened. How's that?
What do I have to do?
TRISH: You're so right, Nidge, you've no idea. I do.
All them in one room together? It would have been ruined.
I told you, I sorted it.
You look hot. (SHE CHUCKLES)
What do you reckon? No.
Ah, go on. No.
I'm not doing it with Danielle out there. We can lock the door.
No, the wedding is tomorrow. Please!
No, I told you, I'm a born again virgin.
I want the wedding night to be special. I'll be quick. No!
That's really romantic! I'm begging you.
You're being pathetic now.
TOMMY: You can stay as long as you like.
Here. Cheers, man. I'll get one cut.
I've to get my bag out of the boot.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
> Hiya. Alright? Listen, I'm sorry.
No, you've nothing to be sorry about, Mary. I wasn't thinking.
I was being stupid.
TAPS ON BOOT
I'm going to kip at Tommy's... fuck! THREE GUNSHOTS
Darren? GUNSHOT
Darren! Darren, answer me.
Darren, hello?
THREE MORE GUNSHOTS
GUN BATTLE
HUGHIE: Jaysus!
MUSIC
Get rid of that, will you? Go on!
Will you be alright? Yeah.
Only ring Mary and make sure she's okay.
GO ON, Tommy, move!
Ah, Elmo! I'm sorry, Darren.
Hello, can I have an ambulance, please?
Just off Harcourt Place. Hurry, please. Thank you.
I'm going to be alright, aren't I? Yeah.
There's an ambulance on the way. They'll look after you.
I won't say anything. I know you won't. Here.
Put this on there. It'll stop the bleeding.
Hold it. Hold it there. It'll stop the bleeding. (ELMO SOBBING)
It's going to be okay, Elmo. I have to go.
That little ratbag. The dirty poxy...!
I swear I'll rip him apart.
I wasn't expecting it at all.
Do you know what this means? He's going around geared up, good to go. Hughie.
We need to be on our feet. Don't worry about it.
He wasn't trying to clip YOU, was he? We're going to get him.
We should take a crack at him at the wedding. He won't expect that.
I mean, it'll be pissing on Nidge's day and all, but...
he'll get over it.
NIDGE: If she wants separate rooms,
I can't see why I don't get the big one instead of this.
Not until my wedding night, bulllshit!
DARREN: Alright?
See? That's what I should be wearing.
Instead of getting dressed up like the Queen's butler.
Look, don't be cutting yourself up about this. It's not your fault.
Elmo knows he should have stayed out of it.
Yeah.
Here. I'm not finished yet.
I'm not in the Army, am I?
Look, he's going to be okay, isn't he? Yeah.
Then what are you worried about?
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Oh man, I don't need this.
Still no answer?
What do you think? Will we go get this bastard?
Are you mad? The place will be crawling with coppers.
Doesn't mean we don't just go to the wedding anyway. Serious?
Are you down for that? I'm down for whatever, brother.
Alright.
CAR STARTS UP
Ah, ignore them, will you?
Lazy bastards!
Should be out arresting those wankers in the bank instead of harassing ordinary people.
Have yous got your bottonholes? Got them, yeah, Ma. Seeya later.
Good luck.
Come on, ring boy! Right, Nidge, are you ready? Yeah, c'mon, let's go.
What do they think is going to happen anyway?
HUGHIE: Will we get dressed up then? We will in our brown.
We'll go as we are.
If it wasn't for me, Nidge would be getting married in some gaff near the Red Cow roundabout.
They'd be having chips for their tea.
What? Red Cow roundabout. He would!
Red Cow roundabout for Nidge
and then a caravan in Courtown for to do the dirty business with his dirtbird missus.
Do you think Nidge would have got Trish with no money?
No money? No, he wouldn't. And I gave him the money.
No money, no honey for the Nidge man. In the Red Cow roundabout.
Yeah, he really takes the shit out of me sometimes. Nidge man?
The Nidge weasel.
He thinks I can't see how he is but I can. I see the Nidge weasel.
Right, will we go to this wedding or what?
You'd love to hop his missus all the same, wouldn't you? Nidge's weasel hole.
Maybe tonight is the night to send a rat down that weasel hole.
MUSIC
1,2,3,4. Hey-ey...
Hey.
Hey-ey.
1,2,3,4.
You, you, you, and me
moving at the speed of light until eternity.
But tonight is the night
you join me in the middle of ecstasy.
Feel the melody and the rhythm...
Let's take a piss.
John Boy, stop the car, will you? Pull over there, I'm fucking dying.
Don't be scared, I'm right here, baby.
We can go anywhere, go anywhere,
but first, it's your chance, take my hand, come with me.
It's like I waited my whole life for this one night,
it's gonna be me, you and the dance floor.
Cos we only got one night,
double your pleasure, double your fun.
Don't piss on my alloys!
Ever ever ever, forever ever ever.
Yeah,
yeah.
Yeah,
yeah.
It's like I waited my whole life for this one night,
it's gonna be me, you and the dance floor.
Cos we only got one night,
double your pleasure, double your fun
and dance forever...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Here, you, get that into you, okay?
Come here.
Are you okay?
Are you happy? I'm happy.
CAR HORN TOOTS
Oh man!
I'm going inside, okay? Yeah, okay. Here, in you go.
Here, Ma, will you look after Warren for a sec? Yes, of course I will.
Jesus, we should have gone to Vegas. I want to die.
Trish, calm down, it'll be fine.
Yeah, but what about you? Did you see Hughie out there?
I'm not going to do anything, am I? Pretend he doesn't exist, okay?
Alright, Nidge man?
Ha-ha!
I have to take a piss. Where's the jacks round here?
It's in there somewhere, alright?
He had a few cans on the way.
It's great you came, man. Changed your mind, did you? No.
I wasn't invited. What?
What do you mean? Of course you were invited.
Ah, I wasn't invited. You were.
No, I wasn't. But... what are you talking about? You know you were.
I was talking to you about it and you said you weren't going to come.
You know that prick put Elmo in the hospital, yeah?
Jesus, John Boy, give us a break, will you? Give you a break?
He shot Elmo, he wants Hughie dead and he's invited to your wedding.
Look, I'm not justifying what he done, okay?
But if someone opened up on you, you're going to hit back, aren't you?
What's that got to do with anything?
Are you going to do something now? What do you mean?
I mean here.
What do you think, I'm here to wreck your wedding, Nidge?
Would Trish cut your balls off if I did, yeah? Yeah.
I'm here for you, man.
Thanks, John Boy. Thanks.
You want to get off the fence, Nidge, you know? I know.
Do you?
Yeah.
MUSIC AND CHATTER
Let's go over and say something.
Come on, let's go.
I see you're all enjoying yourselves.
Did you all get enough to eat and drink? I could eat YOU, Trish.
You look beautiful.
She looks beautiful, Nidge. You hit the jackpot there, man.
You weasel!
It's a great spread you have on, Trish. It must have cost you a fair whack.
Here,
you don't have anything to worry about, Trish, yeah?
Nothing is going to happen. It's all cool, yeah?
Thanks, John Boy.
Sure it's your big day, isn't it? Thanks.
We'll see yous later.
Alright, lads?
Are you enjoying that?
CHATTERING IN THE BACKGROUND
Ignore them.
I'm telling you, any shit and you're on your own tonight. Okay.
Are you having a good time? Yeah?
CHATTERING IN THE BACKGROUND
MUSIC
PARTY MUSIC
When God created a woman for me,
He must have been in a beautiful mood,
to show the world what a woman could be
when he created a woman like you.
He made the sun shine right out of your eyes,
He made the moon glow all over your hair...
Are you okay? I have to get out of here.
I can't take it in there any more. The tension.
I can't stand looking at them.
Especially that...
He makes my skin crawl.
You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. You're grand.
I just didn't want to be in there with them... looking at me.
You know what the best cure for stress is. Tommy!
You are such a dirtbird. I can't believe you. What?
You know what.
The innocent face on you and the cheek.
Trying it on when all this shit is going on.
You said you were stressed. I was just trying to offer a solution is all.
We'll see.
You know what the other good thing for stress is? What?
Smokes. Have you got any? No.
I'll get you some. I'll be back in a minute.
I was looking for you. How's it going?
I was going to smoke a joint if you want to come. Yeah, cool.
I'll have to make it quick, though.
Where are we going? Come on, I'll show you.
I don't know.
Here look, I've got to get cigarettes and go back in.
I've loads. I can give you some.
HUGHIE: Tommy, you dirtbird!
Are you sharing this room? With my sister.
Don't worry, last time I saw her, she was dancing with my da.
I'm smoking this, then I'm gone.
Aw man, this is a bad idea.
Leave if you want.
DARREN: Alright? Did you see Tommy?
He went to get smokes for me.
Do you want me to look for him?
I'll get them myself. Seeya.
Shit!
Don't worry, they won't come over to us.
JOHN BOY: Come on, we'll head.
Here's the rat. Two in one night, you dirtbird.
The skinny one not enough for you? Fair play.
The honeys love their money, don't they, Nidge man?
How does your new bride compare with the prossies of Prague?
Beautiful.
Goodnight now. Safe home all.
Except for you.
Whacko!
Come on.
JOHN BOY: Darren, I want to talk to you.
Hughie, go and get the car, will you?
Trish! It's ruined! It's not!
Prostitutes in Prague, yeah? You promised!
Come on, it's our wedding night. Don't come near me. I'm locking the door.
So what do you want? What do I want? Huh.
You cheeky bastard.
Do you seriously think you can just go on mooching around town after what you've done?
Well, next time I'll stand there like a spare tool for your brother.
Maybe put a big fat sign on my head so he can't miss.
You can do what you want but my advice to you would be to forget about Hughie.
He killed Robbie. You don't know that.
What do I need? Proof?
Well, he's my brother so you can say whatever you want.
But I'll tell you this.
I could pay 10017-year-old crackerjacks to come and hunt you day and night.
10 grand each, 100 grand for the winner.
You wouldn't last 24 hours.
See, that's the kind of money I have.
Now, you need to get out. You need to go back to Spain, London, wherever.
I know Stumpy's missus is over there so if that's your thing...
I'm not going anywhere.
Sure we all die in the end anyway. What does it matter?
It's up to you.
(TRISH SOBS)
You know what I'm doing. I'm making money, aren't I?
It pays for the house, for this, for everything.
If I wasn't working with them, we wouldn't be going on this fancy honeymoon.
I don't even know if I want to go on a honeymoon any more.
You don't want to go on a honeymoon? No.
What do you want me to do? Ring my ma and tell her we're not dropping Warren off?
Is that what you want? Just drive the car, will you?
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Where did you go?
I went to see Elmo's Chinese massage place.
I had to see what all the fuss was about.
You're feeling better then, are you?
I'm the million dollar baby.
I was thinking.
We should petrol bomb his sister's place, what do you think? No.
No? No, here's what we're going to do.
We're going to go to Amsterdam.
Then we're going to go Thailand, Koh Samui.
We're going to do nothing. And that's it?
Well, no. We'll swim, have a few beers, I'll get a tan.
You're going to go redder than you already are.
And when we come back, someone else will have sorted it all.
I might even get you fixed up with a couple of them massages on the beach. Cool, man. Okay.
But I still think...
Bollix!
MUSIC
Hughie?
JOHN BOY: Did you hear about headerball earlier?
ELMO: No, what? HUGHIE: Shut up!
Coming out of this place, he was, after getting his hole.
What place? The place you said.
Is she good or what? She was almost as good as your ma.
What did she do?
After he come out, this little 12-year-old comes flying around the corner in a car.
Bollixy here thinks it's Darren. Who was it?
Some little Lewis Hamilton sitting on a couple of cushions.
Skidded the car off the road.
You should have seen me, Elmo. I was gone.
If you had put a saddle on me, I would have won the Grand National.
Ow!
Don't make me laugh, man.
Show us. Go on, show us.
Jaysus, what are you doing out with this? Ah, it's nothing.
It only went through my side.
And they let you out? I just have to look after it is all.
I have my own personal driver. Good man, Potsy.
So you're in the clear? Yeah, I think so.
It went through the top of my bowel.
The consultant said to go back in a week to see if everything is okay.
Yeah? That's good.
The only thing is I might have to wear a colostomy bag for a few weeks. Serious?
That's heavy, man. Yeah.
It's only a possibility but... Hey, what's that?
Is that for your shit and all? (HE LAUGHS)
Hey, Hughie!
Oh man, it's too much.
Oh, I can't handle this at all.
Shut up, Hughie, will you?
Hughie, it's not funny.
This is for you, Elmo.
Go on. Thanks.
Is this fella looking after you, yeah? Yeah.
Listen, I'd better go.
Where are you going? Nowhere. I've a couple of things to do.
But I'm going to get the wound cleaned later if you want to come with me.
Disgusting! Why? What?
You don't fancy giving us a lift, do you? Yeah, sure. Where?
Why? Where are you going now? I'm not going anywhere.
You should stay where you are. Don't be going looking for trouble.
I'm not going near anyone. I'm just bored is all. Yeah.
Listen, I'm going back to bed.
You sit in the front. Yeah?
It's sore when I turn around.
Are you in a mad rush? What are you up to?
I think we might have a gander over, see where Tommy might be, yeah?
Yeah.
Elmo. No, I can't.
Go on, will you?
How are you doing, me auld pal. How are you, Hughie?
I said to Tommy before, that was just a once-off.
What was a once-off? When you hired out the garage the last time.
I didn't rent anything off you.
Because I said to Tommy... What did you say to him?
I said it was a once-off. You keep saying.
Did you see Tommy? What? Did you see Tommy around?
What do you mean? You thick! Have you seen Tommy around?
Because he's not in his apartment and we're worried about him. I haven't seen him.
Ring him there.
Ring him.
It's gone to message. Leave a message.
Howya, Tommy. It's JP. How are things?
Listen, Hughie is here and he wanted... Here.
What do you want me to say? I want to say something.
What? Leave me alone, will you?
Here, that's not funny.
What did you say?
Go home to your mammy.
What are you crying for?
Are you not over-reacting? I want to be sure, you know?
Whatever you think.
But why would they come here if you're not here. They won't.
You don't know that.
Look, this will all be over soon, okay?
I've a pain in my hole.
I get the cage rage, you know? With them little rich kids.
Strutting around like he owns the place.
He does own the place. He does in his bollix.
See him playing the boss man with his old man's money?
Where to now? Where do you think, Elmo? I don't know.
I know where we'll go. Where?
Over to see Darren's sister. He won't be there.
Petrol bomb the place and he'll be there. He'll come running then.
I have to get the wound cleaned at some stage. Your wound?
Shut up about your wound.
You'd think you were Billy the Kid the way you're talking.
If I don't get it cleaned, it gets infected.
Where are we going so? Where are we going so!
Who asked YOU, Potsy?
How much did the brother give you there? I don't know.
Are you going to count it? I don't know.
You don't know much, do you, Elmo?
I'm only slagging you.
We'll take one scoop past the sister's place, then you can go and get your wound cleaned.
Stop the car, Potsy. Here?
I have to take a piss.
Aw, thanks be to jaysus.
Did you ever take ketamine, Potsy? No. Don't.
It turns your piss to jelly. (POTSY LAUGHS)
What are you laughing at? It does.
I'm telling you man, there's something wrong with me.
I'm pissing 100 times a day, I swear.
ELMO: Hello, can you put me through to Dr Collins' office, please?
Here.
Take the magazine out first.
I don't want you shooting anybody... yet.
Is that giving you wood, Patsy?
Here, give it to me.
Elmo, hurry up.
Don't point it at me, Hughie.
DON'T POINT IT AT ME, HUGHIE! Don't point it at me, Hughie.
I took the magazine out, you pussy.
Your cousin is a pussy, Potsy.
There's no bullets in... GUNSHOT.
POTSY: What will we do?
Elmo, we'll call an ambulance, yeah?
No. No?
No.
Fuck him.
BLOOD GURGLING
NIDGE: He had the magazine out but there was a bullet in the chamber.
Elmo says he was alive for about five minutes,
even with half the back of his head missing. Jesus! Yeah.
Trish is going nuts.
We were supposed to be going to the Seychelles this morning for the two weeks, but...
Could you not get them to change the dates? No.
Seven grand, non-refundable, honeymoon suite, all gone.
She's not even talking to me.
I mean, I have to go to the funeral, don't I?
Can she not go and you follow her? No.
I'm telling you, man, I'm not getting laid for a year after this.
Are you not going to the funeral, no? What do YOU think?
Would you not go, no?
And why would I do that? Because it's over, that's why.
Hughie is gone, isn't he? It's over.
Otherwise, we're all going down the helter-skelter, aren't we?
Would you not talk to John Boy anyway?
Because it's all over as far as he's concerned.
Now that the cue ball has been pocketed.
MUSIC
I'm going to London.
Yeah? Yeah. To see Rosie.
Are you coming back?
I don't know.
Mary, come here to me.
Listen, I have to go and sort it with John Boy.
You have nothing to be worried about, okay? What do you mean?
No, I just mean I want you and the kids to be safe, that's all.
Why? Are we not?
Darren, are we not safe? No, yous are.
I just want to make sure.
Shake his hand and it's all over with
and let that be the end of it.
MUSIC
I'll see you later.
I'm sorry for your trouble.
Do you want to come in?
No.
Thanks.
You didn't have to come.
We're in the same boat now.
It's a real Irish thing, isn't it? What is?
Funerals, paying your respects.
Respect.
Respect for the dead. Yeah.
It's good, though, you know?
Over in England, they put you in a fridge for two weeks and then nobody comes.
Not even your neighbours. Yeah.
They all get cremated over there.
Do you know there's this place over in India,
in the mountains where, uh...
they leave the bodies out to be picked apart by vultures.
There's this priest
and he hacks up the body to make it easier for the vultures to rip you up.
Just gone in 60 seconds.
But all these vultures, they're dying out, you know?
They're all feeding on these dead animals, cattle, cows, yeah?
All dosed up to their tits in pesticide and shit.
It's killing all the vultures.
Do you know anything about that?
I had nothing to do with what Hughie done
but he was my brother.
So what else are you going to do?
Listen,
we're cool, are we?
Do you think I'm going to waste my time running around after you?
Well, I'm going to London. Good for you.
But I want to make absolutely sure that nobody goes near Mary's house.
What am I? A fucking animal?
Why would I want to go near your sister? Just making sure, John Boy.
I have to go. I AM sorry for your trouble, though.
Robbie was no angel either, you know? Don't...
Don't talk about him. Why?
Robbie was different from Hughie, was he? Better than Hughie?
Who are you to judge my brother anyway?
Only God can judge him.
I don't believe in God.
What do you know what there is?
MUSIC
TWO GUNSHOTS
MOURNFUL MUSIC
Frances Carr RTE 2010