1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:05,000 It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:08,400 Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:12,000 But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,100 On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:18,400 Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:23,400 Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us 7 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,000 Laugh and cry 8 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:30,400 He's a family guy 9 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,800 Cuando la jefe oye de esto somos muertos! 10 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:02,600 Recuerda si yo cierra la puerta de la garaje esta manana? 11 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:20,000 Dude, the Bronze Age was so much cooler than the Iron Age. 12 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:23,400 The Iron Age could kick the Bronze Age's butt any day of the week. 13 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,200 - Could not! - Could too! 14 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,000 Ew, gross, man! 15 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:39,400 - You OK? - Whoa! Everything's so... significant. 16 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,600 - Dude, you gotta try this. - Not even! It's got your germs on it. 17 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,700 Not this end. 18 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:52,000 Ahh! I can see the air! And you know what else? 19 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:57,000 I finally get Aaron Sorkin's Sports Night. It's a comedy that's too good to be funny. 20 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,100 Dude, you're trippin'! 21 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,700 Double the freshness, life is more fun 22 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,600 When you're chewing the great taste of Doublefresh gum 23 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,800 La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 24 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:28,400 With Doublefresh gum! 25 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,700 Hey, we should go to the circus. 26 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,800 In local news, a new drug craze may have Quahog students licked. It's called "toad". 27 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,400 The Colombian spotted toad, to be precise. 28 00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:44,500 When licked, these toads trigger an intense psychedelic euphoria that's... that's just great. 29 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,800 This is awful. Now the drugs are in the schools? 30 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:51,000 For you parents, toad-licking is also known as lily-padding, 31 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,400 Frenching the prince, and doing Kermit. 32 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,200 Well, at least our kids know better. 33 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,700 What the...? Aargh! 34 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,700 Hello, little sea monkeys. 35 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,300 He's back. Don't look at him, honey. Eat your potatoes. 36 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,600 - Steve, do something. - Brenda, we've been over this. 37 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:13,900 Let's just pick up our plates and go eat in the hollow castle. 38 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:19,300 - Young man, where did you get this toad? - It's not mine. 39 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,200 Believe me, you don't wanna mess with drugs. I tried 'em once-big mistake. 40 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,500 Things got way too real. 41 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,700 Holy crap, I am freakin' out! 42 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,500 Peter, may I? You're walking down a hallway. You take a left. You keep walking. 43 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,000 - Take a right. Then a left. Brick wall! - Yargh! 44 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,900 - Yeah, he's tweaked. - Am not! Hey, maybe it's Meg's toad. 45 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,900 Oh, now, don't you try to palm this off on your sister. She's a good girl. 46 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,300 Oh, yeah? What about the time she strangled our other sister? 47 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,800 Now, Chris, we told you that was just a very bad dream. 48 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:55,300 - But I remember it so... - It was a dream! 49 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,900 - Mom, can you sign this for my field trip? - Sure, sweetheart. 50 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,500 Meg, you have a wart! 51 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,600 How could you bring a toad into this house? 52 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:08,100 It's not mine. I was just holding it for a friend. 53 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,600 See... it was lunchtime. 54 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,400 OK, Connie, you're up. 55 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,200 Connie Demico does toad? 56 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,600 I guess Miss Wears-A-Hat-All-The-Time is gonna nark on us, aren't you? 57 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,900 - Mr Berler's coming! - Oh, man, we are so busted! 58 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,000 Put it in here. He won't check me. 59 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:34,500 What's going on back here? Oh, hello, Megan. Wait, you're not part of the popular clique. 60 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,500 Run along and play alone somewhere. Shame on you all, getting her hopes up like that. 61 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,600 I thought if I held Connie's toad, 62 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,500 she'd make one of the cool guys ask me to the Snow Ball. 63 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,200 You're holding drugs so someone will invite you to a dance? 64 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,600 Meg, haven't we taught you better than that? 65 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,200 Hold on, Lois. People do a lot of crazy things just to be accepted. 66 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,000 I don't know about this. 67 00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,000 We all did it. If you want to be a Supreme Court justice, 68 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,800 you gotta pick up that cherry with your butt cheeks and drop it in that beer. 69 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:06,200 - Come on! Come on! - Go, Suitor! Get busy! 70 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,000 - Go, Suitor! Go, Suitor! - Cherry! Cherry! Cherry! 71 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:13,000 Oh, my God! I can't believe he did that! 72 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,000 - Go, Suitor! Go, Suitor! - Get busy! Get busy! 73 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,600 Ohhh! 74 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,500 I can't believe he did that! 75 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,900 I can't believe he did that! This guy is so in! 76 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,100 Oh, sweetheart, I'm sure all the boys wanna ask you to the dance. 77 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,400 They're probably just shy or scared. 78 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:35,400 Yeah, I was terrified of askin' Phoebe Diamond to the prom. 79 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,000 I finally got up the guts, but I had this damn nervous twitch. 80 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,400 - Um, Ph-Ph-Phoebe? - Yeah? 81 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:48,800 Uh, I was wonderin' if... if... if you'd, uh, d-do me the honour of, uh... 82 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:54,300 I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. 83 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,700 You're my silver medal. 84 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,200 Mr Toad, how many licks of you does it take 85 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:08,200 to get to the centre of a Rhode Island state prison? 86 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000 Just one. 87 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:15,600 How could this happen? I thought we lived in such a nice small town. 88 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,300 There's no such thing. Things are different than when we were kids. 89 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,500 - Well, it just makes me sad. - It makes me sad too, but, uh, you know. 90 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:28,500 I mean, if Meg's at risk, then so is Chris, and Stewie'll be in preschool before we know it. 91 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,600 Well, we just have to trust our kids to stay off drugs. 92 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:35,300 I do trust our kids. It's the other kids I don't trust. 93 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:40,200 Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, I guess it's up to us as parents to be a part of the solution. 94 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:44,000 - I'll go talk to the principal tomorrow. - Thanks, honey. 95 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:47,100 - The safety word is banana. - I love you. 96 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,000 And that's my plan, Principal Shepherd. So, are you with me? 97 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:58,700 But... you didn't tell me anything. You just sat down and said "And that's my plan." 98 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,400 Oh. Oh, right. OK, here's my idea. 99 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,700 - And that's my plan, Principal Shepherd. - Well, Mr Griffin, I don't like it. 100 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:15,400 I love it! You have the faculty's full support. But how will you pull it off? 101 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,500 You let me worry about that, kitten. 102 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,100 Great. 103 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,600 Hey, Meg. What's got four arms, four legs and one set of lips? 104 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,800 You and me at the Winter Snow Ball. Heh-heh! 105 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,100 Look, Neil, I don't... Oh, my God! 106 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:45,000 Dad? Dad?! 107 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,700 I'm not responding because I'm not this "Dad" person. 108 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,500 I'm the new kid in town, Lando Griffin. 109 00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:00,600 Are you crazy? What are you doing here? 110 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:04,200 I've gone undercover to get rid of the toad problem, 111 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:07,700 so your school can be safe and innocent like the good old days. 112 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:12,200 Negative B plus or minus radical B squared minus 4AC over 2A. 113 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:17,500 That's correct. A girl answered a math problem. You know what that means. 114 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,200 A witch! 115 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:22,400 - Witch! She's a witch! - Witch! 116 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,400 Witch! 117 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:28,000 God, please tell me I have a brain tumour and this is all just a side effect from the chemo. 118 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,200 - Hey, what are you doin' in my locker? - Your locker? 119 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:34,400 Say, Phil, what do you say to happy hour after work? 120 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:39,400 I'd say Cheryl's gonna have another black eye to explain to the neighbours. 121 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,000 - Come on, I'm buyin'. - Oh, yeah. 122 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,700 - Hey, man, cool specs. - Thanks, G. 123 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,800 I'm the new kid in town, Lando Griffin. 124 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:53,800 No relation. So, tell me, homeboy, how 'bout the baggy clothes we kids are wearin'? 125 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:57,100 Aren't they phat and stupid and poppin' fresh? 126 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:04,000 Hey, does anybody have any drugs? I'm lookin' to score some drugs. 127 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:08,800 - Dad, get away from me. Connie is looking. - So that's toad girl, huh? 128 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,000 Yeah. And that's Connie. 129 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,300 I see. Well, I'm gonna have a little talk with that Connie. 130 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,200 Huh! Good luck. She only talks to the cool kids. 131 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,400 - Oh, yeah? Watch this. - No! 132 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:24,300 Heeey! 133 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,700 Agh! Agh! Ow! Oh, God! Agh! Ow! Ow! 134 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,800 - Cool! He's bleeding! - Just like in the movies! 135 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,800 Hm. 136 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,400 Holy crap, it's The Breakfast Club. 137 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:46,100 You know what I got for Christmas? It was a banner year at the Tiger house. 138 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:50,100 I got a carton of cigarettes. Old man grabbed me, said "Hey, smoke up, Tony." 139 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,300 "They're grrreat!" Bastard. 140 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,300 Hey, Lando. 141 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:01,000 Everyone's talking about how you trashed the jukebox. Classic cool. 142 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,600 - We're gonna do some toad. You in? - You're gonna do toad?! 143 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:08,300 - What's the big deal? - Lemme tell you about it, stud. 144 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,400 You'll get chills 145 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,100 All through your body 146 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,500 And you'll lose all control 147 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,600 Of your bladder 148 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,600 And your sphincter 149 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:24,600 That's your butt hole! 150 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000 Cos if you use toad 151 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,700 Then I'm tellin' you 152 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:34,900 You can kiss your life goodbye 153 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,400 Yeah, when you use toad 154 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,800 It'll mess you up 155 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,000 It'll make your mama cry That's no lie 156 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,200 You'll choke on your tongue and die 157 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:47,900 Gotta give it up 158 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,200 Give up the toad now 159 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,700 It's no joke 160 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,100 Buddy, give it up 161 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,800 Gotta give up the toad now 162 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,200 Or you'll croak 163 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,500 Buddy, give it up 164 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,300 You gotta give up the toad now 165 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,600 And don't smoke 166 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,600 Or you'll see 167 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,900 It hurts to pee 168 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,300 There'll be blood 169 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,500 Gushin' from ya 170 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,800 Every time that you cough 171 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,200 And forget gettin' lucky 172 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,600 It falls off 173 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:24,000 Yeah, you'd better wise up 174 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,300 Cos I'm tellin' you 175 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,200 Toad is what Lando forbids 176 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,000 Gotta give it all up 177 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,600 Or you're gonna see 178 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,600 Your whole life will hit the skids 179 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,200 And your kids will be born without eyelids 180 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,600 Gotta give it up 181 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,000 Give up the toad now 182 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,700 Thanks to you, Lando 183 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:47,900 Give it up 184 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,500 Give up the toad now 185 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,400 Thanks to you, Lando 186 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,000 Give it up Gotta give up the toad now 187 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,400 Ooh, ooh, ooh 188 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,300 I'm no fool 189 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,700 Lando's cool 190 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,100 Yeah! 191 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,400 - You're the coolest, Lando. - Yeah. 192 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,600 We never broke into song and dance before you arrived. 193 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,100 I'll never touch another toad. None of us will. 194 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,600 - Yeah. - No way, man. 195 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:14,600 - I know I won't. - You never did it in the first place. 196 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:19,200 - God! You're such a wannabe loser. - Oh, yeah? If I'm such a loser, 197 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,900 how come I'm going to the Snow Ball with Lando? 198 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,200 Meg, you got a date?! Oh, wait till I tell your mother! 199 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,300 Who I'm looking forward to meeting. 200 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,000 And I hope is making Steak Ums tonight. 201 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,300 - Hey, Meg, wanna ditch and go to the mall? - Sure! See ya, Lando. 202 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,600 This is great. Not only did I live long enough to see Meg go to her first dance, 203 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:45,400 but I'm takin' her too. Thanks, Geritol. 204 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,600 And they swore they'd never do toad again. 205 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,900 Dad never came to sing at my school. I don't want dessert! 206 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:57,800 I tell you, Lois, high school's a lot more fun this time around. 207 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:02,400 And it's a lot safer now that all the kids have guns. And today in study hall, 208 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,500 I farted real loud on purpose to make the guys laugh, 209 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,800 and I swear to God it was so heinous Susie Johnson ralphed up her Salisbury steak. 210 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:12,900 I'm sorry, is this really proper dinner conversation? 211 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,000 I'm glad you taught those kids they don't have to do drugs to be popular. 212 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:21,500 He sure did! Who needs drugs when you go to the dance with the coolest guy in school? 213 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,000 Going with Dad is gonna skyrocket me up the popularity food chain. 214 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:30,200 It's true. Soon members of the math club will be attaching themselves to your underbelly. 215 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,600 Wait a minute. Peter, you can't take Meg to a school dance. 216 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,600 How long do you think you can keep up this charade? 217 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,000 Just till Friday! Please, Mom? 218 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:42,400 Well, if this is what you want. 219 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,000 Oh, it's probably Connie calling for me. 220 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,000 Hello? 221 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,900 Oh. Yeah, hold on. It's for Lando. 222 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,500 Aloha! 223 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,200 No way! 224 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,700 Uh... uh, hold on. I'm gonna take this in the other room. 225 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,800 I got it! 226 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,600 Hang up! 227 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:05,400 Mother, this could almost have passed for a palatable banana pudding, 228 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:11,100 but without Nilla wafers, it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions! 229 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,400 Clean it up! 230 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,900 I don't think so. 231 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Neil, I'm a little out of your league. Besides, I'm going with Lando. 232 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,800 Really? My underground sources have informed me 233 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,500 that Lando is taking Connie Demico. 234 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,800 What?! 235 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,900 Hey, I thought you were taking me to the dance! 236 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,900 Uh... 237 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,200 Something suddenly came up. 238 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:47,900 - How could you do this to Meg? - Not now, I gotta write about Oliver Twist. 239 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,600 Oliver Twit, if you ask me. I would have done things rather differently, I can tell you that. 240 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,200 Please, sir, I want some more. 241 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:03,900 - What? - Please, sir, I want some more. 242 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,400 More?! 243 00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:09,200 All right. Stop it. Stop it right there. Now, go on, fill up the bowl. 244 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,500 Go on! That's it. 245 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,300 Now put on this dress. 246 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,400 Put it on! 247 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,900 Now dance. 248 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:26,400 Hey. Hey, Brian, the guy who wrote this, his name? Charles Dickens. 249 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,000 - Oh, yeah. - I want an explanation, mister. 250 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,800 Hey, Connie pulled a power move. When the most popular girl in school 251 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:37,400 asks you to the dance, you don't say no, you say "Haba-haba-haba... OK." 252 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,500 I can't understand why you'd dump your daughter for Connie Demico. 253 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,400 It's simple transference. 254 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,500 To Peter, Connie Demico is Phoebe Diamond, the most popular girl in his school. 255 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,900 Oh, my God. I think he's right. 256 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:54,400 When I try to speed things up in bed, I'm not thinkin' of Connie, I'm thinkin' of Phoebe. 257 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:58,100 This whole thing is ridiculous. I forbid you from goin' to that dance. 258 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,200 You can't tell me what to do. You're not my real mom! 259 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,300 - End of discussion! - Thank you for ruining my life! 260 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,700 You don't remember what it's like to be my age! 261 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,200 I'm two years younger than you! 262 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,400 I hate you! 263 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:21,000 Greg Allman, how did you handle it when life got you down? 264 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:25,600 Me? I did a lot of drugs, married some broad named Cher... 265 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,500 and I wouldn't recommend either one of 'em. 266 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,000 I gotta fight for my right to party. 267 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,000 Whoa-ah! Argh! 268 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,400 - Thanks, Spider-Man. - Everybody gets one. 269 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,800 - Sweetie? - You married a total jerk! 270 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:58,300 Honey, he didn't mean to hurt you. And, you know, you could still go to the dance. 271 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,800 Alone? Why don't I just tattoo a big L on my forehead while I'm at it? 272 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:06,100 Now, Meg, you know my feelings on tattoos. 273 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,600 If you stay home, you're just proving to the other kids that you don't belong there. 274 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,500 - Yeah. - And you might have a really good time. 275 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,200 I'll tell you one thing. I still regret not goin' to my junior dance. 276 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,900 But, Daddy, if you don't do what they say, they'll kill me! 277 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,600 Sorry, pumpkin, we don't negotiate with kidnappers-family policy. 278 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,900 Daddy, no. Please! Please! 279 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:33,900 She'll be all right. 280 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,400 Come on, what do you say? 281 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,500 Well... I do have that really slutty dress you hate. 282 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,800 So, uh, Lando, how old did you say you were again? 283 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,400 17. 284 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,700 And a half. 285 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,200 Sweet statutory, you look beautiful! 286 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:04,200 Don't worry, I'll take good care of your kid. I got a daughter of my own, you know. 287 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,800 Please leave the light off. I don't want to be seen. 288 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,000 I imagine you wouldn't, the way you've been acting. 289 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:19,800 - I thought you might say something like that. - Well, you do have it coming. 290 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:23,300 I convinced Meg to go to the dance, so I'm gonna go drop her off. 291 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,000 Please don't yell. I've learned my lesson. 292 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:29,900 - I wasn't yelling. I was just sayin' that... - Oh, you would bring that up. 293 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,600 - Can't you leave the past where it belongs? - What's wrong with you? 294 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:38,200 Because I've already explained that to you. It was a scavenger hunt. 295 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,400 What the hell is goin' on here? 296 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:45,800 Lois, if you still haven't discovered I'm gone, please flip the tape over to side B. 297 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,200 Nice moves, Lando. 298 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:06,400 OK, everyone. The votes are in. This year's king and queen are... 299 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,000 Lando Griffin and Connie Demico! 300 00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,200 Oh, my goodness! Oh! 301 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,200 Hold it. I can't be your king. 302 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,800 I have a confession. I've been living a lie! 303 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,900 I shouldn't be here... with Connie. 304 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,900 - My first choice was Meg Griffin. - What? 305 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,400 Meg Griffin! She's right over there in the back. 306 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:44,000 Ri... No, no, no, to the left. No, no, you had her. No, no, go back, go back. 307 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:48,900 You got a monkey workin' the spotlight. No, to the right, genius. Th-there. Stop. Stop. 308 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,800 That's my dream girl. But I'm not good enough for her and she dumped me. 309 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:58,700 So now, heartbroken, I will ride recklessly into the night and up Dead Man's Curve. 310 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,200 Goodbye, Meg. I love you. 311 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,000 - Meg, wanna dance? - I was here first. Meg, dance with me? 312 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,000 - Neil, would you...? - I would be honoured. 313 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,600 Thanks! 314 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,700 And Lando Griffin, a popular student at a local high school, 315 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,700 was killed last night when his motorcycle careened off Dead Man's Curve. 316 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,900 Police were baffled when no body was found, but they decided not to ask questions 317 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,800 and just let everyone get on with their lives. 318 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:57,800 - I'm so proud of you. - Oh, Daddy, thank you so much! 319 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:02,200 - I was the most popular girl at the dance. - Oh, anything for you, sweetheart. 320 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:05,400 Well, I'm off to popularity. Ciao! 321 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,200 God, I hate that manly walk of hers.