1
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,557
I gotta meet a gang of people
at my mother's saloon.
2
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,119
You wanna come?
It's a party for me. Honest.
3
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,952
- I'd love to.
- Really? You mean it?
4
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,553
- Why? Have you changed your mind?
- No, no.
5
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,039
I mean, I know it isn't every day...
6
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,270
that a glorified Ziegfeld girl
like me asks you out.
7
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,237
Thank you, Rachel. That was lovely.
8
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,075
That's it?
9
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,239
All we needed to see.
10
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,637
It was a pleasure reading with you.
11
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,233
And I loved you as Lancelot.
12
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,958
I saw the revival of Camelot three times.
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,112
Four if you include the bootleg
that my friend Kurt has, so.
14
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,959
Thanks.
15
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:57,000
Ripped By mstoll
16
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,515
Well, Paolo,
you're a Tony winner. What do you think?
17
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,876
Oh, she's charming,
and she certainly looks right for the part.
18
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,872
I just fear that she's too young, you know?
Too green.
19
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,554
That is my concern as well.
Lack of experience.
20
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,029
She'd be a discovery, but it's such a risk.
21
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,917
I mean, that part, it's a mountain.
22
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,831
At her age,
I never could have pulled it off.
23
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,434
Now where did we leave it
with Claire Danes's people?
24
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,834
I don't think we've ever spent two weeks
on an assignment, Mr. Schue.
25
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,480
Hey, the Beatles are so epic that
we need two weeks to do them justice.
26
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,516
This week is all about the early years
of the Beatles...
27
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,477
when all they had
was a belief in each other...
28
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,596
and a belief that together
they could do anything.
29
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,636
Uch. The school year seems
like it's never-ending...
30
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,757
and now we're wasting two whole weeks
on a band from the 1940s?
31
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,910
Seriously, can anyone still
relate to the Beatles?
32
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,956
- Pretty much the entire world.
- Yeah. I can definitely still relate.
33
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,715
- Yeah. - Why? Were the Beatles
dyslexic and catfished by transsexuals?
34
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,518
And you wonder why
everybody hates you.
35
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,558
When George Harrison was a kid, he was made
fun of 'cause his dad was a bus driver.
36
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,993
John Lennon's dad wasn't even around.
37
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,036
He walked out of John's life
when he was five.
38
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,793
I don't really know the Beatles.
I'm a little on the black side.
39
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,791
And Ringo Starr was a sickly little kid...
40
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,075
which probably means
he was sitting down a lot.
41
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,152
And they decided to form a band,
which changed the world.
42
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,310
You guys are gonna have to challenge
yourselves this week.
43
00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,833
Bring your A+ games.
44
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,115
Perform these classic songs
in new and exciting ways.
45
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,158
If we can push ourselves to a whole new
level, like the Beatles did constantly...
46
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,310
we can win back-to-back
national championships...
47
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,197
and form a New Directions dynasty.
48
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,112
All right. See you guys tomorrow.
49
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,235
Tina.
50
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,349
And speaking of-
51
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,237
Your chariot awaits.
52
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,471
We are moving slower than Jonah Hill...
53
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,232
trying to get out of a bathtub.
54
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,719
And everyone is staring.
55
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,870
Yeah. At our hotness.
56
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,679
You know, I never thanked you for
making me come clean with my mom.
57
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,228
I'm going to the Brooklyn Film Academy
because of you...
58
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,835
and, to thank you,
I want to take you to Breadstix.
59
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,469
Besides, we both know that the raw animal
attraction between us is undeniable.
60
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,391
Did you really just say that?
61
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,038
No wonder Tina broke up with you.
62
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,917
And Brittany and Sugar
and the girl in the wheelchair...
63
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,752
with the disturbingly massive boobs.
64
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,273
And, P.S., I hate Breadstix.
65
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,750
Okay. Well, there's a carnival in town.
That could be fun.
66
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,239
Yeah. If you want to trust your life...
67
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,958
to toothless carnies
who operate the rides.
68
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,996
Okay.
69
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,389
So is that a yes or a no?
70
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,439
Ice-cold lemonade!
71
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,590
I like the pink one.
72
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,671
Hey, Kitty Cat.
73
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,591
Girl, you crashed into me head on.
74
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,477
I swear you could have paralyzed me.
75
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,954
My bad. I'm Bree, spelled with two E's.
76
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,110
- Not like the funky cheese.
- Artie.
77
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,715
You two were so cute, all snuggly
and cuddled up in that teeny-tiny car.
78
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,268
- Are you two going out?
- Nope. Just friends.
79
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,158
Well, you should.
You look really sweet together.
80
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,391
I hope you don't mind. I took a couple
pictures and Instagrammed them.
81
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,357
Anyway, have fun.
82
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,673
She seems nice.
83
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,671
She's a stone-cold bitch,
and she's out to destroy me.
84
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,033
Okay.
85
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,433
You and me, we're more than just friends.
86
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,877
What if we go out,
but we do it on the down-low?
87
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,871
You know, like secretly gay
conservatives do?
88
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,632
It'll make everything all fun and forbidden.
89
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,995
So you like me...
90
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,911
but you don't want to be seen with me.
91
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,957
I need status at this school to survive.
92
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,319
Yeah.
93
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,149
- This was a mistake. - Okay. Now,
Rachel, you are not backing out.
94
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,673
Now, I basically had to show Gunther...
95
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,432
my left side boob to get you this job.
96
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,839
Here. Put this on.
97
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,512
Look, Santana, while I really appreciate...
98
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,158
you freely prostituting yourself for me...
99
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,798
that was before my world
came crashing down...
100
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,394
and I totally blew
my Funny Girl chemistry read.
101
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,873
You're late, Lopez.
102
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,235
- Yes, yes. I know. Sorry, Gunther.
- Is that her?
103
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,356
Yes. This is her. Rachel, that's Gunther.
104
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,556
- Hi.
- Don't tell him if you're Jewish or black.
105
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,670
You said it yourself a bazillion times.
106
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,479
- You want to get to Broadway,
you have to pay your dues. - Oh.
107
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,630
Well, I mean, I guess that's true.
108
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,029
Patti LuPone was
a waitress pre-Evita.
109
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,678
And, you know,
this is the Spotlight Diner...
110
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,876
and it's on Broadway
and the waiters get to sing and dance.
111
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,678
Plus, my dads will pay my rent till I die.
112
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,716
I don't want that anymore,
because I want to be...
113
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,552
grown up and living
and making it on my own.
114
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,710
We're basically working actresses.
115
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,038
So, you excited to go back to school?
116
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,553
Yeah. Fashion Week is coming up.
117
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,517
But this farewell picnic's
been perfect though.
118
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,436
What's the story with this New York guy?
119
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,479
There's no story.
120
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,154
He was nice and people
liked the idea of us as a couple...
121
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,549
but... it never got serious.
122
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,073
Let me break it down for you.
123
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,593
The last time we tried dating...
124
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,671
I was in New York
and you cheated on me.
125
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,432
- All right? Unacceptable.
- We've been through this.
126
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,988
I thought you were done with me.
I thought it was over.
127
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,275
I thought I was completely
out of the picture in your life.
128
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,158
Look at me in the eyes when I say this.
I'm being beyond serious.
129
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:57,475
I will never, ever, ever cheat on you again.
130
00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:01,155
I'm gonna need you to sign one of those
non-cheating contracts.
131
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,639
You can get one on Oprah's Web site.
132
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,233
I will sign whatever you want...
133
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,357
just, please, say
that you and I can be boyfriends again.
134
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,239
- What? - I don't know if
relationships actually work.
135
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,039
I mean, weren't Bethenny and Jason
supposed to be forever?
136
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,669
For every Bethenny and Jason,
there is a Will and a Jada...
137
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,911
and a- a Kurt and a Goldie.
138
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,436
Come on.
Can we at least just... give it a try?
139
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,596
- But I'm Goldie, of course.
- Of course you are.
140
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,952
Okay. I can't believe
we're gonna do this again.
141
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,433
I was hoping you'd say yes.
142
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,839
Actually, I was kinda planning on it...
143
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,512
which is why
I sort of put something together...
144
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,272
to convince you to stay a little longer.
145
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,157
No. No, no.
That's not gonna happen. Okay?
146
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,357
I-I'm not sitting down
and listening to you sing to me anymore.
147
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,793
Okay.
148
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,677
Which is why I prepared something.
149
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,114
America,
your prayers have been answered.
150
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,272
Sue Sylvester is back at McKinley.
151
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,157
Sure I enjoyed my time away...
152
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,832
but once Becky Jackson fessed up...
153
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,275
and started serving
her month-long suspension...
154
00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,952
the school begged me to return.
155
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,837
But I knew if I was gonna come back...
156
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:05,151
I had to come back big-time,
in a "next level" way.
157
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,435
Welcome back, Coach Sylvester.
158
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,670
It's Principal Sylvester.
159
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,198
I broke into Figgins's office...
160
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,157
and planted incriminating evidence...
161
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,912
of every conceivable variety.
162
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,433
We've had some complaints.
163
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:19,953
Oh, Mr. Roberts. What's going on?
164
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,952
- I think you have a few things
in your desk. - What's going on?
165
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,712
Gambling receipts. Porno mags.
166
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,199
We're gonna be here for a while.
167
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,431
Gay porno mags.
Gay foot-fetish porno mags.
168
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,318
- It's not mine! I'm telling you it's not mine.
- That's puppy porn.
169
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,755
I go to church every Sunday,
for God's sake.
170
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,273
A polygamous marriage certificate.
171
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,636
A bill of sale granting campus
drilling rights to a fracking company.
172
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,234
An autographed copy of Mein Kampf.
173
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,595
I-I'm telling you, I am innocent!
174
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,398
Our hands are tied, Mr. Figgins.
175
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,631
Where am I supposed to go?
What am I supposed to do?
176
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:54,669
Well, Superintendent Harris,
I have to say, I'm truly humbled.
177
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,193
We're in a pinch here, Coach...
178
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,236
and you're a proven champion.
179
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,880
You've led this school before
as interim principal.
180
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,793
If all goes well, after a few months...
181
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,270
I see no reason why this position
shouldn't become permanent.
182
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,999
Do I feel guilty about what I did?
183
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,513
Not at all.
184
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,593
Jesus said it best.
The end justifies the means.
185
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,272
Last time I was acting principal...
186
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,590
I squandered
an opportunity for greatness.
187
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,638
This time, I'm going to get it right.
188
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,675
You're a monster, Sue Sylvester!
189
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,759
Okay. Listen up, everybody.
190
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,195
Come on. Blaine has
a very special announcement to make.
191
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,713
That's right.
192
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,358
So, as most of you know already...
193
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,432
Kurt and I are officially back together.
194
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,439
I know.
195
00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:01,992
But what most of you don't know-
and this is top secret-
196
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,231
is that I'm going to ask Kurt to marry me.
197
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,633
Yeah. Guys, come on. Get up.
198
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,472
Come on, guys. This is my best friend.
199
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,028
Gay marriage good.
It's good. It's good things.
200
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,792
They're all happening so fast. Let's go.
201
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,711
Sam, not now.
202
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,758
Anyway, I want this proposal
to be just incredible.
203
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,398
So I'm asking for all of your help.
204
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,914
But I'm also asking for some
of our competitors' help...
205
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,150
like The Warblers and Vocal Adrenaline...
206
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,673
and the Haverbrook School for the Deaf.
207
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,193
Vocal Adrenaline? No, ma'am.
208
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,759
The Warblers are
evil incarnate little craps-
209
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,115
Are you crazy? Are you insane?
Good God, have you lost your mind?
210
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,397
Hey, Tina. Everybody. Hear him out.
211
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:41,235
Look. I want this to be more than just
an ordinary proposal.
212
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,311
I want this to be a cultural statement.
213
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:47,552
- Sure you do.
- Hey, our generation is at a turning point.
214
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,076
People everywhere, except, like, Russia...
215
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,596
are beginning to see
that it doesn't matter...
216
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,830
who you are or where you're from...
217
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,388
or even what God you believe in.
218
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,313
They're beginning to see
that people really aren't all that different.
219
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,073
And, honestly, if we can get a bunch
of cutthroat show choirs...
220
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,232
to stand side by side
and unite in something...
221
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,311
then anything is possible.
222
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,632
Okay, okay, but Blaine is just using
the world of rival glee clubs...
223
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:19,191
as a metaphor for this incredible time
we're in right now.
224
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,599
I still think you're too young.
225
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,278
We need an official vote...
226
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,112
but in the spirit of brotherhood...
227
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,838
and cleaning up
our tarnished reputation...
228
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,319
I think we'd all be happy to help.
229
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,833
Uh, Trent.
230
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,592
We said I'd do the talking.
231
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,159
All in favor of helping Blaine?
232
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,276
Aye!
233
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,470
Artie, we've been friends for a long time,
so I'm just gonna ask.
234
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:57,993
Are you and Kitty an item?
235
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,752
What? No.
236
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,276
I mean, yes.
I mean, maybe. I'm unclear.
237
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,237
It's sort of this secret affair...
238
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:06,753
we're not really supposed to talk about.
239
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,673
- Yes. I knew it! Why? Why can't you?
- Lower your voice, Tina.
240
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,510
Because Kitty's uncomfortable...
241
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,033
with people knowing she's dating-
242
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:18,192
Someone who wears glasses? Who's
in a wheelchair? Who's in Glee Club?
243
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,589
- Where's your self-respect?
- Tina.
244
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,399
I know you're trying to help,
at least I think you are...
245
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:28,031
so I'm gonna say thank you,
but butt the hells out.
246
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,715
All right. Got your burger and your salad.
247
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,199
Enjoy.
248
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,513
Oh, my God. You are not gonna
believe this text I just got from Blaine.
249
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,830
You are not gonna
believe who's sitting in my section.
250
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,712
Mmm.
251
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,233
I'll take this.
252
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,032
Okay. So we have one Roxie...
253
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,112
and one Velma with a side of Billy Flynns.
254
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,638
Yes. It's me and,
yes, it's awkward, but I don't care...
255
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,119
because I am a professional...
256
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,839
even when people are calling me
too young or-or green...
257
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,592
which for your information,
I'm not.
258
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,432
- I am-
- A star.
259
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,038
- Yes. I am a star.
- Rachel, look.
260
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,838
It's not personal.
261
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,070
Everyone thinks they're a star,
even when they're not.
262
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,593
Look around.
263
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,750
They all wanna be on Broadway.
264
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,478
I'm not saying you're not a star.
265
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,348
Just saying I'm not sure just yet.
266
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,519
I understand.
267
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,395
I guess I'll just have to
prove it to you then.
268
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,196
- Let's get out of here.
- Wait. After all of that?
269
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,555
We have to go home.
There's something special we need to do.
270
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,353
I don't know
what you're so nervous about.
271
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:37,759
She's not going after the Cheerios.
272
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,273
It's the Glee Club she hates.
273
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:42,318
Bitch, please. Sue Sylvester's
had it out for me since day one.
274
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,992
I took her job. Remember?
275
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,594
I just know she's dug up
all kind of dirt on me.
276
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:47,908
What kind of dirt?
277
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,389
Number one,
this bronze damn Olympic medal...
278
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,436
in individual synchronized swimming...
279
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,192
I won at them Chinese Olympics...
280
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:58,193
may have been the result of some
performance-enhancing drugs and weed.
281
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,590
Number two, I may have perpetrated
a buttload of credit card fraud...
282
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,035
an old lady in Florida
may have paid for my condo...
283
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:09,433
and I might have just flat-out stole
my Lexus off a used car lot.
284
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,672
Well, then, yeah. We're both screwed.
285
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,320
Sue's gonna take out the Glee Club
and the Cheerios in one fell swoop.
286
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,868
Oh, now why on earth would I do
something like that, Butt-chin?
287
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,632
Because you are vindictive and petty.
288
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,836
Oh, you're forgetting one thing, William.
289
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,957
I have been given the post
of interim principal at this school...
290
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,713
a post that will be made permanent
at the end of the year...
291
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:33,828
if all goes according to plan, allowing me
to demolish this office down to the studs...
292
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,516
ridding it once and for all of the deep
ethnic musk that is Figgins's hallmark.
293
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,272
Now, in order to achieve that...
294
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:42,476
I need the programs
at this school to be successful.
295
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:46,633
I need the teams
at McKinley High to be winners.
296
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,711
Wait, wait. You're not firing us?
297
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,916
Not if you win a national championship,
I'm not.
298
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,560
However, if you fail to win at nationals,
I will fire you...
299
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,437
and you'll be forced to build
creepy relationships...
300
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:56,953
with teenagers on your own time.
301
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,589
And you, you'll have to go back to being
a full-time spokesmodel...
302
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,477
for Billy Dee Williams yellow hair helms...
303
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,915
for women who couldn't
possibly be less blonde.
304
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,278
Congratulations,
you're on my watch now, which means...
305
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,631
you're winners.
306
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,318
Okay, guys.
307
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,630
Week one of our Beatles fest
has been epic.
308
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,315
I think we've really unpacked what made
the Fab Four such an instant sensation...
309
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,119
but now I want to turn
to their oft ignored middle period.
310
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,839
Mr. Schue, would you say that the early
Beatles looked out for each other...
311
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,638
even when they didn't want
to be looked out for?
312
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,358
Oh, God, no.
313
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,271
Well, if I understand your question, Tina...
314
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,715
yes, the early Beatles
always had each other's backs.
315
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,314
In that case, I'm sorry, Artie,
but this is for your own good.
316
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,596
Everyone, Kitty and Artie are dating...
317
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,353
but Kitty's making Artie hide it because
she's embarrassed by him...
318
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,919
and I think that's emotional abuse.
319
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,150
Artie is a great guy,
and he deserves to be loved...
320
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,310
openly and proudly
and without conditions.
321
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,312
For once, we agree.
322
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,833
It's true.
323
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,434
Arthur and I are dating.
324
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,033
We are? Officially?
325
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:02,554
And for the record,
and not that it's anyone's business...
326
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,596
especially not yours,
Tina Cohen-Agitator...
327
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,478
- I did want to keep it hush-hush.
- Because you were ashamed.
328
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,357
Yes, Memoirs of a Lame Geisha...
329
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,477
because I occupy a certain place
in the McKinley hierarchy...
330
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:16,314
and you all occupy a different,
lesser place in that hierarchy...
331
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,516
and before exploding said hierarchy...
332
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,431
by jumping up and down
on Oprah's couch...
333
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,431
declaring my undying love
for someone who is...
334
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,750
let's face it, not my usual body type...
335
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,033
I wanted to be sure.
336
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:29,235
Of what?
337
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,912
That I really, really liked him.
338
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,878
And that I would be willing to risk...
339
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,032
not just my social standing
but also getting hurt...
340
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,429
by letting him wheel into my heart.
341
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,671
And even though I know
he's getting ready to graduate...
342
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,637
and we're probably just as doomed...
343
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,598
as every other sad, broken,
backwards relationship...
344
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,558
that's ever started in this Jesus
and love-forsaken choir room.
345
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,551
Kurt and I will have a happy ending.
346
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,073
But I do like you, Artie.
347
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:59,718
You make me laugh...
348
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,360
and not just with those stupid YouTube
fail videos you're always showing me.
349
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,152
Look, asking you to keep our stuff private
wasn't cool, and I'm sorry.
350
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,356
It's okay, Kitty.
351
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:20,231
But, um, as far as, like,
updating my Facebook status-
352
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:25,348
Yes. We are officially,
publicly, shockingly...
353
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:26,839
a thing.
354
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,232
Whoo!
355
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,356
Do any of you know why
I called you in here?
356
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,714
Um, is it to get prepared...
357
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,155
in case the North Koreans
invade through Mexico?
358
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,117
I-I just saw Red Dawn, okay?
It could happen.
359
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,512
One of our own has turned
into a mean, bitter and angry person.
360
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,034
- Tina.
- She didn't used to be like this.
361
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,588
She was a sweet girl who dated Artie
until he dumped her...
362
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,352
because he found out
she was faking her stutter.
363
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,715
And then she dated Mike Chang
until he dumped her...
364
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,791
because she wasn't Asian enough
or something.
365
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,348
- Wait. Is that really why he dumped her?
- Yeah.
366
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,510
The point is is that it's time
for us to step in.
367
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,999
She's falling apart.
368
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,230
I walked by the Too Young
to Be Bitter Club meeting this morning...
369
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,436
and she was the only one in there.
370
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,198
Those cakes are truly awesome.
371
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,874
Dude, those things were moist
and chocolaty at the same time.
372
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,439
Totally. Totally.
373
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,636
This isn't about the cakes.
I know how good they are.
374
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,598
- This is about us trying to help Tina.
- No, of course, Blaine.
375
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,591
Even though this is all clearly your fault...
376
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,591
whatever you think we should do, we're in.
377
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,869
Oh, settling in nicely then, are we?
378
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,757
I think you've found your calling...
379
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,469
and "Janitor Figgins," I think,
has a quiet dignity to it.
380
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,879
You're not gonna get away with this, Sue.
381
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,269
I believe I already have, and considering...
382
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,113
all the scandalous behavior
that I recently uncovered...
383
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,714
I would say you are lucky
to have a job at all.
384
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,190
You had better be nice to Donna,
my longtime secretary.
385
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,511
That woman is a saint,
and she is my rock.
386
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,670
Well, I'm afraid Donna
isn't long for this world.
387
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,478
As soon as she returns
from her suspension...
388
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,028
I plan on installing Becky as my secretary.
389
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,793
And I will refer to her as "my Beckretary."
390
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,718
What is that?
391
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,268
That? Well, that's just
a five-gallon bucket...
392
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,191
of expired Grade D meat slurry...
393
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,909
the poor kids at this school
were forced to eat every Taco Tuesday...
394
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,594
under the jackboot of that corrupt,
decadent regime...
395
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,150
from which they were recently liberated
by one Sue Rodham Sylvester.
396
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,595
- That's not your middle name.
- Oh, yes, it is.
397
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,238
I had it legally changed this morning.
398
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,436
Now, what would you like me to do...
399
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,715
with this canister of rancid horse offal?
400
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,518
No. Sue, please, no.
401
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,794
No!
402
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,714
Sue Sylvester!
403
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,917
You're a monster!
404
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:19,513
What is happening...
405
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,511
and why did you make me wear this?
406
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,556
I had to break out
one of the Grease costumes.
407
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,198
Tina, I'm Paul.
408
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,794
That's George, that's Ringo
and black John Lennon.
409
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,313
Half black.
410
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,628
We love you and this is for you.
411
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,277
One, two, three, four.
412
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,710
Come on. Dance. Hey!
413
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,757
That was awesome...
414
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,956
but I don't understand what it was for.
415
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,632
Well, we saw how lonely
you've been lately.
416
00:34:34,720 --> 00:34:37,439
And since we're the only single guys
left in Glee Club-
417
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,590
And by single,
we mean single prom dates...
418
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,352
we just wanted to offer our services...
419
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,953
as dance partner or corsage buyer...
420
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,554
or just general arm candy
for the big dance.
421
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,278
So you can pick one, and it's your choice.
422
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:48,759
Obviously, I'm excluded.
423
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,593
Well, it's hard to pick.
424
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,274
Ryder has arms and Blaine is my boo...
425
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,477
but I think I'll go with Sam...
426
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,074
because he's the least gay
and least Asian of all of you...
427
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,355
and I'm looking to change my patterns.
428
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,796
Seriously, though,
thank you, guys. I really needed this.
429
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,996
- Bring it in.
- Tina.
430
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,230
- I love you.
- Thank you, boo.
431
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,151
No excuses. Mwah.
432
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,953
Look, I know we usually
take the highway to the airport...
433
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,395
but somebody told me about this shortcut
through the back roads.
434
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:21,959
Dad, you can stop it.
435
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,237
I know you're driving me
to my surprise proposal.
436
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:26,799
I should have known you knew.
437
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,474
You're the kid who planned his
own surprise party for his 10th birthday.
438
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,835
That Justin Timberlake piñata
was a perfect likeness.
439
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:33,876
Oh, I wouldn't know.
440
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:38,351
You okay? You look
like I'm driving you to your execution.
441
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,672
I can't tell.
442
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,228
I mean, I really love Blaine.
443
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:48,711
He makes me feel so connected
and so safe and loved.
444
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:52,270
I don't think I'm ever gonna find someone
else who's gonna make me feel like that.
445
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,515
But we're both so young.
446
00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:01,390
Well, your mom and I met
when we were 22...
447
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,074
and I asked her
to marry me six months in.
448
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,559
We were just kids.
449
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,000
Yeah. It was really hard at first.
450
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,991
You know,
you go in with all these fantasies...
451
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,355
about what your life together
is gonna be like-
452
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,873
nothing but laughing...
453
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,270
and dancing around in your underwear,
cooking pasta.
454
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,909
Sex. A lot of sex.
455
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,356
It's hard being married though.
456
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,954
It's hard enough being in your 20s.
457
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,473
Do you wish you waited?
458
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:36,633
Not one second more.
I wish I'd met her 10 years earlier.
459
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:39,678
I didn't know then that I was only
gonna get so much time with her.
460
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:41,318
That she was gonna leave us so soon.
461
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,437
I'd take 50 more years
of late-night fights...
462
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,876
about, you know,
me working late or the gas bill...
463
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,359
or her letting the milk go bad...
464
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:55,151
for just 10 more minutes
with her next to me.
465
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:58,516
We only get a few days
when you come down to it, Kurt.
466
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,033
You know that better than anyone.
467
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,993
Look, totally being honest here.
468
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:09,915
Blaine asked me what I thought
about this, and I gave him my opinion.
469
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,479
Which was?
470
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,552
My opinion doesn't matter here.
You're your own man now.
471
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,996
But giving you a choice
means you gotta make one.
472
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,436
So relax. Hear what the guy has to say.
473
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:24,717
I mean, all you gotta do
is say yes, no or maybe.
474
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,235
Is there another option?
475
00:39:58,360 --> 00:39:59,998
We met right here.
476
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,753
I took this man's hand,
and we ran down that hallway.
477
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,354
And for those of you that know me know
I'm not in the habit...
478
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,954
of taking people's hands
I've never met before, but I think...
479
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,270
that my soul knew something...
480
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:14,239
that my body and my mind
didn't know yet.
481
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,475
It knew that our hands were
meant to hold each other...
482
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,233
fearlessly and forever.
483
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,675
Which is why it's never really felt...
484
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,478
like I've been getting to know you.
485
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,472
It's always felt like
I was remembering you from something.
486
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,791
As if, in every lifetime
that you and I have ever lived...
487
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,110
we have chosen to come back
and find each other...
488
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,475
and fall in love all over again.
489
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,472
Over and over, for all eternity.
490
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:45,554
And I just feel so lucky that I found you
so soon in this lifetime...
491
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:49,713
because all I wanna do,
all I've ever wanted to do...
492
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,877
is spend my life loving you.
493
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,475
So, Kurt Hummel...
494
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:01,473
my amazing friend...
495
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,835
my one true love...
496
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,633
will you marry me?
497
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,718
Yeah. Yeah.
498
00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:12,500
Ripped By mstoll