So how does it work with gay marriage,
you take his last name or does he take yours,
or do you both hyphenate?
Right now, I'm honestly just excited that Kurt said yes.
Hey, are you looking forward to prom?
I fell asleep last night
while Tina was texting me about her prom dress.
It's really nice
that you're going with her, by the way.
Yeah, I guess so.
I don't know, I just... you know, it's my senior prom,
so I kind of wish I was going with somebody
I really care about.
Damn, I have seriously been unlucky in love.
Come on, guys, we're back with the Beatles!
We're leaving the mop-tops behind
and moving into their experimental years.
Now, the Rubber Soul album marked a turning point
for the group, where they literally and figuratively
let their hair down. Now, the Beatles
were the biggest musical act in the world.
They could have remained in their comfort zones,
but instead, they risked everything
to explore new musical worlds.
They had something important to say,
and they weren't going to let something as silly as
the fear of failure get in their way.
Good afternoon, McKinley High.
This year, the proms
are being fused into one giant Brundleprom.
- What's a Brundleprom? - I don't get that reference.
That's from The Fly.
And now for the moment
that will crush 99% of your misguided views
about your own popularity.
Here are your nominees
for Prom King and Queen.
First, here are your nominees for Prom King:
Blaine Anderson...
...Mohamed Omar,
Artie Abrams...
Yeah!
... "Stoner" Brett Bukowski.
Wait, I-I really didn't get nominated for king?
And now onto the Queen.
Please let it be me God,
please let it be me Yahweh,
please let it be me.
Kitty Wilde...
But I'm a sophomore.
...Aimee Ryan...
...Jordan Stern.
And, inexplicably,
Tina Cohen-Chang.
Yes! Yes!
- Congratulations. - Yes! Yes! Oh, my God, yes!
- Six of you will be disappointed. - Yes! Yeah!
- Yeah! Yes! - Tina. Wow!
Even though I'm not nominated, it's such an honor
to be going to prom with a potential queen.
Oh...
Sorry, Sam.
It was so nice of you to offer
to go with me, but I'm going to have
to decline your invitation.
But you already accepted.
Yeah, Tina, this is very uncool.
Losing is uncool.
I need to maximize my odds of taking the crown,
so I think I'm going to go with a group of single gals
to corner the dejected wallflower vote.
And I am going for it.
This is my chance to be bigger than Jesus.
So can I count on all your votes?
Awkward.
You've got mine.
Besides,
I've got more shots at Prom Queen.
It's Tina's time.
I agree. Hit it!
♪ You say you want a revolution ♪
♪ Well, you know ♪
♪ We all want to change the world... ♪
- What? - Later.
Seriously?
Congratulations, Tina.
Seriously?
Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com
Uh, do you have...
That's it.
My dreams of playing Fanny Brice are over.
I'm sure it isn't over.
If I got it, I would've heard by now.
Okay? And-and-and the thing is,
is that I wasn't just auditioning for this for myself.
I was auditioning for everyone at McKinley.
Okay? I wanted to show that we're talented enough
to make it in this insane business.
Okay, well, one of us sort of already did.
I booked a commercial.
It's a little embarrassing,
because it was for that yeast infection medication,
Yeast-I-Stat.
But they sent me a rough cut.
Do you want to see?
Yeah.
Let's face it.
There are good kinds of yeast,
and bad kinds of yeast.
But bad yeast goes scat with Yeast-I-Stat.
Burns and itch are a thing of the past.
And Yeast-I-Stat's Seven Easy-Step Application
makes feeling fresh a breeze.
I like my yeast in my bagel...
but not in my muffin.
♪ Did you hear the news? ♪
♪ Let's have a chat ♪
♪ Bad yeast goes scat ♪
♪ With Yeast-I-Stat. ♪
I'm free!
Wow.
That's... that's great.
Honestly, if it were anyone else,
I'd be so jealous,
but I'm-I'm-I'm... really proud of you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, hi, Kitty.
Could I talk to you for a second?
I was so psyched that a fellow Cheerio!
Was nominated for Prom Queen.
Thanks, Bree.
And then I heard that you weren't
going to campaign for it,
and instead you were throwing your support
to that Asian girl from Glee Club
because you thought it was "her turn."
Now, if that's true,
you might want to tie yourself down,
because this is gonna be a rough ride.
I just wanted to remind you
that a Cheerio! has not won Prom Queen
for several years now.
We've had Prom Queens from Glee Club,
including the Jewish girl and a gay dude.
And if we're not careful,
I swear to God we're gonna have a black transsexual
named Unique as Prom Queen
before we have a Cheerio! as Prom Queen.
Now, I know you're thinking to yourself:
"But O.M.G., Bree,
I love the Asian girl from Glee Club."
Well, punch yourself in the face so I don't have to.
I do not give a flying fart,
and the Cheerios! do not give a flying fart,
about how much you love your sisters from Glee Club.
You have 51 weeks out of the year
to love your sisters from Glee Club,
and this week is not...
I repeat, not... one of them.
This week is about winning Prom Queen for the Cheerios!,
and that's not gonna happen if you're off campaigning
for Kimchi Cohen-Barf or whoever.
Are you an idiot, Kitty?
That's not a rhetorical question.
I literally want you to tell me if you're mentally slow,
so I can be sure you're not nominated
for future prom courts.
Sam. I didn't know you were gonna be in here.
Oh. Hey, Mr. Shue.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of people say the Beatles were the,
like, the best band ever, right?
That's right.
Well, what if I told you that
the Beatles wrote exactly zero songs
about what it feels like
when you tell a girl that you don't think is hot
you'll go to prom with her because you feel bad,
and then you think you're gonna
get nominated for Prom King and then you don't,
and the not-hot girl says, "I don't want to go
to prom with you anymore."
Would you still say they were the greatest band ever?
Hey there, Buttchin.
Ah, Samgelina Jolie.
Oh, I hate to interrupt
the blatantly homoerotic overtones
of whatever the two of you are on the verge of crying about,
so I will be brief.
Now, seeing as how your students
in the glee club come and go for weeks at a time
with no explanation whatsoever,
I'm sure that it will not come to you as a surprise
that we have an abysmal attendance record
at this school due to illness.
Therefore, I am instituting
mandatory vaccinations at this school,
starting with your pansexual orgy
of future patient zeroes, the glee club.
When you say vaccinations, do you mean shots?
That's right, Imbecile Homeless Teen Drifter.
And we will begin with the polio vaccine.
Sue, polio was all but
eradicated in the 1950s.
Or so they'd have us believe.
I saw a documentary last night on FDR,
and it made me very suspicious
about that glee kid in the wheelchair.
Artie? He was in a car accident when he was a kid.
Fact: there is a meningitis outbreak in Los Angeles.
Fact: Mercedes Jones
recently returned from Los Angeles...
Wait, I cannot get a vaccination.
- Needles totally freak me out. - Sue, I'm all about keeping
the kids in this school healthy, but this is ridiculous.
Hey, I would watch your tone with me
if I were you, Busted Timberfake.
I'm not your coworker anymore.
I'm your boss.
And what I say goes.
And if you and Nipples
the Strippin' Clown don't get your shots
by the end of the week, you're fired.
What's going on in here?
Carmen Tibideaux needed volunteers
for the annual NYADA piano tuning.
So, did you hear about Santana's good news?
That she doesn't have a yeast infection?
I'm really happy for her.
Okay, what's wrong with you?
Because the Rachel I know would be furious at Santana
for breezing into town
and beating us at booking the first gig.
You have lost your mojo obsessing over this part.
We can't let our feelings of self-worth
be determined by some part in a play.
That's easy for you to say; you just got engaged.
True, but I'm not pinning all my future happiness on it.
I'm telling you, you have got to get your mojo back.
Right here, right now.
This second.
♪ Jo Jo was a man who thought he was a loner ♪
♪ But he knew it couldn't last ♪
♪ Jo Jo left his home in Tucson, Arizona ♪
♪ For some California grass ♪
♪ Get back ♪
♪ Get back... ♪
♪ Get back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Get back ♪
♪ Get back... ♪
♪ Get back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Get back, Jo Jo ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Go home! ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Sweet Loretta Martin ♪
♪ Thought she was a woman ♪
♪ But she was another man ♪
♪ All the girls around her say she's got it coming ♪
♪ But she gets it while she can ♪
♪ Oh, get back ♪
♪ Get back ♪
♪ Get back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Get back ♪
♪ Get back... ♪
♪ Get back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Get back, brother! ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Oh, get back ♪ ♪ I'll get back ♪
♪ Yeah, get back ♪ ♪ Yeah, get back ♪
♪ Get back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Yeah, get back ♪ ♪ Yeah, get back ♪
♪ Get back ♪
♪ Get back to where you once belonged ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh... ♪
♪ Oh! ♪
Oh... no, no...
- Hello? - Hey.
- Hi. - Oh!
Are you here for your polio/meningitis cocktail?
I wasn't sure if I should call it
polingitus or meningiolio.
I like the second one; it sounds like Italian food.
I'm going to give him a shot he can't refuse.
Anyways, yes, I am here for my shot.
To be honest,
I'm kind of freaked out by needles,
and even if I wasn't, I'd kind of be freaked out
by you with a needle.
I saw you kill that sausage.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that, I know.
I had kind of a... an extended panic attack
during the two weeks we studied injections last semester.
Wait, are you not a real nurse?
I'm a sophomore in college.
This is kind of an internship
to help me get into nursing school.
Okay. Ready for our shot?
Is that the same needle you put in that sausage?
Good eye.
You know what? I'm-I'm just gonna...
I'm just gonna come back later, okay?
It was cool meeting you.
Penny Owen.
Sam Evans.
Here are the latest prom poll numbers.
And your 3:00 coffee.
I said no caffeine until prom.
I can't afford to look tired like some sad, anemic dishrag.
Oh, my God!
What is with these numbers?
There's been a sudden spike in Kitty's popularity.
Kitty?
This is unbelievable!
Unbelievable.
Tina, I didn't put these up. That's not even me.
That's my head photoshopped
onto Olivia Munn.
Oh, please. I should've known
that when you weirdly said you'd support me,
it was just some classic backstabby,
gaslighty Kitty mind game.
Hey, uh, what's with these posters?
I thought you were supporting Tina.
And why is your head photoshopped
onto Olivia Munn's body from February 2011?
What? I read Maxim.
Don't worry, Tina. Come on.
This is Tina's one big chance to finally get what she wants.
Why does no one believe me?
Oh, right.
The habitual lying.
I dig your name.
So, do you think that your parents,
like, knew that you were gonna grow up to be a lesbian
giving you a boy name?
- I'm a not a lesbian. - Oh, uh...
You just wear so much eyeliner... I don't...
I'm totally kidding. I love lady parts.
Dani is short for Danielle.
And, no, I don't think they knew.
My parents are actually kind of d-bags.
They caught me making out with a girl in the basement
and all hell broke loose.
I grabbed my guitar,
and never looked back.
What about you?
My parents were pretty cool.
Grandma not so much.
I had a girlfriend.
And she was bi.
Any chance of you guys getting back together?
I love her, but, um, it's over.
It's probably for the best.
I think you need
a 100% Sapphic goddess.
Um... I think I'm gonna go get the salt...
the salt sh-shakers.
Shakers...
Oh, my, God, I am sensing
some serious energy exchanges happening over there.
No, no, help me, okay?
I'm getting that stinky panic sweat under my boobs.
Why? She's cute, she's sweet, she's gay, ask her out.
Okay, I've never been with an actual lesbian.
It's been all bisexuals like Brittany
or college girls trying to experiment.
You're scared.
I've never seen you scared before.
It's so cute!
You tell no one of this. Seriously.
I think that I might like her, and it is terrifying.
Listen.
She seems like a really smart girl.
And if she's a smart girl,
then she's not gonna miss out on an opportunity
to be with someone as amazing as you.
- You're right. - Okay?
- She's smart. - Okay, go clean up.
Okay.
Hey, Sam, we're gonna go pick up our tux rentals.
- You coming? - Uh, could you guys grab mine for me?
I need to, uh...
go to the nurse's office... snake bite.
That looks like a human bite.
From a really big mouth.
You sure you didn't bite yourself
and pretend it was a snake?
Why would I do that?
Oh, I don't know, maybe...
maybe for the same exact reason why you left math
to get a Band-Aid for your hangnail?
She's gonna be at the prom chaperoning.
You can always just take it slow and ask her for a dance.
She'll stop liking me, okay? The key for me is to only spend
a few minutes with a girl and then get away.
My personality is like a radioactive asteroid.
Spend too much time with it
- and it could kill you. - That's insane.
You have an amazing personality.
You have all of your... impressions.
And-and all of your...
impressions.
I was thinking of doing my Denzel impression for her.
All right, all right.
I'm coming for you and when I do,
she didn't drink the vodka, I drank the vodka.
Remember those Titans. All right, training day.
You better come correct 'cause I'm coming
for you and when I do,
it's your day to train.
Training day is here.
My man, all right.
Embrace the Beatles mantra.
"Charge forth fearlessly."
You may get hurt.
Some girls are worth it.
And I have a feeling you think she is.
Go get them, Denzel.
♪ Something in the way she moves ♪
♪ Attracts me like no other lover ♪
♪ Something in the way ♪
♪ She woos me ♪
♪ I don't want to leave her now ♪
♪ You know I believe and how ♪
♪ Somewhere in her smile ♪
♪ She knows ♪
♪ That I don't need ♪
♪ No other lover ♪
♪ Something in her style ♪
♪ That shows me ♪
♪ I don't want to leave her now ♪
♪ You know I believe and how ♪
♪ You're asking me will my love grow ♪
♪ I don't know, I don't know ♪
♪ You stick around now, it may show ♪
♪ I don't know, I don't know ♪
♪ Something in the way she knows ♪
♪ And all I have to do is think of her ♪
♪ Something in the things ♪
♪ She shows me ♪
♪ I don't want to leave you now ♪
♪ You know I believe and how. ♪
Why are you packing up your things?
Sue fired me for incompetence.
I was giving one of her Cheerios!
a urine test and another one a vaccination,
and I got my vials all mixed up,
and, well...
you can guess what happened.
Well, y-you can't leave.
Why?
Because we only
hung out once so far.
And-and it wasn't for long, but, you know,
I had a great time with you.
And you're, like, almost totally normal and cool.
Really?
All right. I want you to give me my shot.
If you can get me to take this shot,
Sue will have to see how great of a nurse you are and keep you.
One of these days, I'm gonna get this right.
Might as well be today.
You can't fire her.
Who?
Nurse Penny. You can't get rid of her.
I mean, I've been terrified of needles my entire life.
And she just used her impressive
nursing skills and nurturing bedside manner
to give me a meningitis shot in my butt.
I'm sorry, but your mouth is incredibly distracting.
Please put a pair of white cotton panties
over your head and cover up
that horizontal talking moose knuckle.
Just promise me Penny still has a job here.
Oh...
I believe someone's got a little crush.
No, I don't. I don't have...
Fine. You've convinced me.
Nurse Bumble McQuirkypoops will remain at McKinley High.
I could use a new plaything.
You know, yesterday, I asked her for two aspirin,
and she accidentally gave me steroids.
Which means I can finally
finally stop buying from Mark McGwire.
He always wants to hang out,
and I just want to get the hell out of his house.
Why are you still here?
Get the hell out of my office.
Tina for Prom Queen. Don't be racist.
Vote for Tina.
Don't be racist.
If you don't vote for Tina,
you're a racist.
Are you doing okay, Dottie? Ooh.
How do you know my name?
Come on.
Everyone knows Dottie Kazatori.
Tina Cohen-Chang's personal slave.
Break it down.
You hate Tina, don't you?
I do wish she'd hurry up and graduate.
How would you like to be on the Cheerios!?
That's, like, my life's dream.
That's why you're perfect
for our little plan.
Uh...
Mazel, Berry. Looks like you're gonna make it
through your first graveyard shift without collapsing.
What is that?
The latest edition of Backstage.
Hot off the presses.
"Hot off the presses"?
- What does that mean? - I'm over my fear of rejection.
And I'm no longer afraid of failing.
I'm auditioning for everything I'm remotely right for.
Including but not limited to the role of Bottom
at the Cape Cod Players production of Midsummer,
and also Annie Sullivan's landlady in The Miracle Worker
now casting at the New Jersey Theater for the Deaf.
Where do you think you're going?
You still have ten minutes
and two dozen sugar caddies to caddy.
See, I thought that that was something
that you and Dani could do alone.
Okay, no, come on.
You are not playing Yente the lesbian matchmaker.
I'm so tired.
- I have to get home. - No, you're not. You have to...
Bye, Rachel. See you tomorrow.
Good-bye, Dani.
Aren't you heading out, too?
No, not yet.
I like to watch the sun rise over that building.
I just love how the diner goes from being quiet and dark
to suddenly just... glowing.
I've never seen it.
Well, stick around. We'll watch it together.
Okay.
♪ Here comes the sun ♪
♪ Doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Here comes the sun ♪
♪ And I say it's all right ♪
♪ Mmm-mm ♪
♪ Little darling ♪
♪ It's been a long ♪
♪ Cold, lonely winter ♪
♪ Little darling ♪
♪ It feels like years ♪
♪ Since it's been here ♪
♪ Here comes the sun ♪
♪ Doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Here comes the sun, I say ♪
♪ It's all right ♪
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
♪ Little darling ♪
♪ The smiles returning to their faces ♪
♪ Little darling, it seems like years ♪
♪ Since it's been here ♪
♪ Here comes the sun ♪
♪ Doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Here comes the sun ♪
♪ And I say it's all right ♪
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Sun, sun, sun, here it comes ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Sun, sun, sun, here it comes ♪
♪ Ah... uh-huh ♪ ♪ Oh... oh... ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ Ah-oh... ♪
♪ Little darling ♪
♪ I feel that ice is slowly melting ♪
♪ Little darling ♪
♪ It seems like years since it's been clear ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Here comes the sun ♪
♪ Doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Here comes the sun, and I say ♪
♪ It's all right ♪
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
♪ It's all right ♪
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Sun, sun, sun, here it comes. ♪
Well, this is where I get off.
So I guess that's good-bye?
For now.
See you around.
♪ It was 20 years ago today ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play ♪
♪ They've been going in and out of style ♪
♪ But they're guaranteed to raise a smile ♪
♪ So may I introduce to you
♪ The act you've known for all these years ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪
Stick with me, dateless ladies, and you'll have a great time.
Hope I got all your votes.
♪ We're Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪
♪ We hope you will enjoy the show ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪
♪ Sit back and let the evening go ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper's Lonely, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪
Oh, hey, didn't see you there.
It seems like someone convinced Sue to un-fire me.
That person must really like you.
Hey. Were you faking being sick all week?
I even bit myself once.
♪ I don't really want to stop the show ♪
♪ But I thought you might like to know ♪
♪ That the singer's gonna sing a song ♪
♪ And he wants you all to sing along ♪
♪ So let me introduce to you
♪ The one and only Billy Shears ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ♪
♪ Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. ♪
♪ Caught up in the moment... ♪
You know you don't have to just stand here, right?
- You can... - Oh, I know.
But as a minor-league nurse,
I figured I should be on standby
for any dancing-related injuries.
I'm the one who's most likely to go out there
and hurt myself on the dance floor,
so as a minor-league nurse,
it is kind of your responsibility
to dance with me.
God, I don't know.
I bust moves, literally.
I'm taking those.
Oh, my God, Tina! Your dress is so pretty!
Thank you so much. It's designer.
I hope you guys voted for Tina.
You guys look beautiful.
Psst! Come here!
Everything set?
Yes.
Did you add extra shards of ice?
Yes, and I bought the slushees in Toledo
so no one could link me to the crime.
Oh, my God, I just remembered,
I've got a viola lesson tonight.
Oh, I know you're not backing out at the last minute.
I know you don't want to spend the rest of your life
being a pathetic bottom-feeder.
you wet your bed until seventh grade.
Fact...
Stop, stop! Okay, I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Showtime.
Congratulations, New Directions, on accomplishing the impossible:
you've made me hate The Beatles.
Your nominations for Prom King are:
Stoner Brett,
Blaine Anderson,
Artie Abrams,
and that Radical Cleric kid.
And now your nominees for Prom Queen:
Neck-brace Cheerio!,
Asian number one,
Kitty I-forget-your-last-name,
and... some other chick.
And now here's the moment you've all been waiting for
because your lives are so devoid of meaning
something like this seems very important.
This can't be right.
Okay, what the hell do I care, huh?
Your Prom King and Prom Queen are...
Stoner Brett and Tina Cohen-Chang.
No...!
What the hell?
This is my chance to be bigger than Jesus.
We need to get you out of
those wet clothes and into something dry.
Just leave me like this!
I swear, I just thought
for one lousy night of my life,
I could be that girl.
But who am I kidding?
I'm not that girl,
and I will never be that girl!
Tina, where are you going?
I'm going home, Sam!
Okay, Tina, stop.
You have two choices,
and whichever one you pick, we will be supportive.
But we can either drive you home,
or we can clean you up,
and you can go back out there and own that prom.
This is your prom, Queen T.
I can't go back in there.
I don't even have a dress to wear.
You can have mine.
Or mine.
Although it would be a crime to break this look.
Come on, Tina. We're all with you.
You want to be that girl?
Then go be that girl.
♪ Hey, Jude, don't make it bad ♪
♪ Take a sad song and make it better ♪
♪ Remember to let her into your heart ♪
♪ And you can start to make it better ♪
♪ Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
♪ You were made to go out and get her ♪
♪ The minute you let her under your skin ♪
♪ Then you begin to make it better ♪
♪ So let it out and let it in ♪
♪ Hey, Jude, begin ♪
♪ You're waiting for someone to perform with ♪
♪ And don't you know that it's just you ♪
♪ Hey, Jude, you'll do ♪
♪ The movement you need is on your shoulder ♪
♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
♪ Yeah... ♪
♪ Hey, Jude, don't make it bad ♪
♪ Take a sad song and make it better ♪
♪ Remember to let her under your skin ♪
♪ Then you'll begin ♪
♪ To make it better ♪
♪ Better, better, better, better, better ♪
♪ Yeah!
♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Hey, Jude ♪
♪ Jude-Judey, Judey, Judey, Judey, Judey! ♪
♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Sing a sad song ♪
♪ Nah-nah-nah, hey, Jude ♪
♪ Jude, hey, Jude, yeah... ♪
♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Hey, Jude ♪
I'm Tina Cohen-Chang. I accept your crown!
Long live prom!
♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Whoo, yeah-yeah! ♪
♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah ♪
♪ Hey, Jude. ♪
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh, get in this office and sit down!
Ow! Ow!
- Who is this? - Bree.
This is the girl responsible
for the giant slushee bucket at prom.
No, I mean, literally, who is this?
She's in a Cheerios! uniform,
but I swear I've never seen her before.
You put me on the team.
Black Cheerio!...
you think I'd remember a black Cheerio.
It's not like we get a lot of them.
Sue Sylvester, this girl needs to be punished.
Now, I'll admit that when the bucket of goo
hit the Asian girl in the head, it was hilarious.
Then the bucket itself fell
and hit the stoner kid in the head,
knocked him straight to the ground.
Priceless.
Top-notch entertainment.
But that does not change the fact
that this girl right here needs to understand
that pulling hilarious, top-notch pranks
has consequences.
She should be suspended.
Bree...
I'm promoting you to captain of the Cheerios!
And buying you a Le Car.
- What?! - What?
Chocolate Cheerio!, oh,
that evil glimmer in your eye
reminds me of a young Sue Sylvester.
You found a brand-new way to go after the glee club,
and I want you to keep at it.
I thought you said you wanted
the glee club to win nationals.
I do, but the glee club needs an enemy.
The only time they were any good
was when I was hell-bent on destroying them.
Plus, I once sang onstage with them in plaid pajamas,
and ever since, I don't think they find me quite so scary.
I want you to go after the glee club with all you've got.
I want it to get weird.
I want you to pull something so psychotic
that they can't help but start crying when they think about it
in the middle of the inevitable Journey song
they'll sing to win at nationals
after deciding on it at the very last moment.
You got it?
I think I need an agent.
I guess those contracts I signed
for those commercials said that I waived my right to residuals
in exchange for a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat.
Though I don't know whose toxic vagina
would need that much of that stuff.
I mean, if you're producing that much yeast,
you should probably start a bakery.
Are you ready for me?
Sorry. What is Lady Hummel doing here?
Working. Vogue.com doesn't pay,
and I need some seed cash to start my Madonna cover band.
You guys, this is so great.
I feel like I'm on Smash, season one.
Well, enjoy it while it lasts,
because soon you'll be dumping us to play Fanny Brice.
Oh, no, that ship has sailed.
If I got it, I would have heard by now.
Rachel, be positive!
I am positive, okay?
My whole life, I've been looking
to be a part of something special to feel special,
but the truth is, is that I am special, okay?
And I don't need producers to tell me that.
I'm gonna play this part, and if it's not
in this production, then that is their loss.
Isn't it amazing how life seems so easy
when you just don't give a fart?
I mean, look at this.
Hummel is getting married,
Berry is just full of confidence,
and I finally have a girlfriend
who I don't have to worry about straying for penis.
we stay in this town together
for two years, all right?
For soaring success or miserable failure.
None of us bail
until then, okay, no matter what. Okay.
Okay. Pinky swear.
Come on.
Put those long fingernails in there.
Someone in booth 14
is looking for the short one.
Go.
I take this.
Gunther, that's my Yeast-I-St...
What the hell?
Mr. Campion.
Do you have any whole cakes, Rachel?
Just a whole cake?
Mm-hmm. I'd like one.
Okay.
But I need you to write something on it for me.
Can you do that?
Yeah. Good.
I want you to write, mm...
"Congratulations, Rachel Berry. You are Fanny Brice."
Are you serious?
Are you serious?!
Really?!
Oh, my God! Really?!
Thank you so much! Thank you!
I got Fanny!
Oh, my God! Thank you!
I got it! What?
I got it! She got the part?
I got it! I got it! Whoo! Whoo!
Thank you so much! I got it! Yeah!
I can't wait to take this off! *
♪ When I find myself in times of trouble ♪
♪ Mother Mary comes to me ♪
♪ Speaking words of wisdom ♪
♪ Let it be ♪
♪ And in my hour of darkness ♪
♪ She is standing right in front of me ♪
♪ Speaking words of wisdom ♪
♪ Let it be ♪
♪ Let it be, let it be ♪
♪ Whisper words of wisdom ♪
♪ Let it be ♪
♪ And when the brokenhearted people ♪
♪ Living in the world agree ♪
♪ There will be an answer ♪
♪ Let it be
♪ For though they may be parted ♪
♪ There is still a chance that they will see ♪
♪ There will be an answer ♪
♪ Let it be... ♪
♪ Let it be, let it be ♪
♪ Let it be, yeah, let it be ♪
♪ There will be an answer ♪
♪ Let it be ♪
♪ Let it be, let it be ♪
♪ Let it be, yeah, let it be ♪
♪ Whisper words of wisdom ♪
♪ Let it be... ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪
♪ And when the night is cloudy ♪
♪ There is still a light that shines on me ♪
♪ Shine until tomorrow ♪
♪ Let it be ♪
♪ I wake up to the sound of music ♪
♪ Mother Mary comes to me ♪
♪ Speaking words of wisdom ♪
♪ Let it be... ♪
♪ Let it be, let it be ♪
♪ Let it be, yeah, let it be ♪
♪ There will be an answer ♪
♪ Let it be... ♪
♪ Let it be, let it be ♪
♪ Let it be, yeah, let it be ♪
♪ Whisper words of wisdom ♪
♪ Let it be... ♪
Whoo!
Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com