1
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:20,540
We should get a joint christening gift for Johnny.
What do you think, my brother?
2
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:26,060
No. I'm knitting him a gift myself.
3
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:32,140
What the fuck? Is that not a bit feminine?
There are plenty of men who knit now.
4
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,540
Who?
Have you ever heard of Arne & Carlos?
5
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:41,200
You are a cute little knitter. Aunt Torgeir.
Aunt Torgeir?
6
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:48,180
"I think you're so cute"
Just kidding with you, you know.
7
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,880
Cheers!
Cheers!
8
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,500
I didn't know it was
the godfather's responsibility to..
9
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,900
Do you want to sit down a bit?
10
00:06:26,725 --> 00:06:29,225
- Are you ok?
- It's fine.
11
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,140
How does that look...?
A little further to the left.
12
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,440
Yes, there.
A little... a little further down.
13
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,880
Check that out, Yvonne.
14
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:52,500
Is that the reception?
Fantastic location. Quiet and calm.
15
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,800
Hey! You have to turn down the music!
16
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:20,680
Randi?
Hi Jan! How nice. It's been a long time.
17
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,780
I'm this close
to sending a complaint to the Immigration Authority.
18
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:29,005
Complaint? At my camp?
19
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:35,700
Are you aware that one of your residents
attacked your neighbour's dog?
20
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,640
My god, that's terrible.
21
00:09:27,514 --> 00:09:30,014
What's happened with you?
22
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:32,539
You used to have
the tidiest desk in the council.
23
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:38,540
It has been a little tough for me.
To cope with the transition into the private sector.
24
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:46,860
Now the pieces fall into place.
Really?
25
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,480
I actually had a summer job
with UN in Somalia in 2002.
26
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:58,250
Not the first time I've seen a Khat plant, Randi.
27
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:01,200
I got a some from a Somalian
to make me cope with the work pressure.
28
00:10:01,455 --> 00:10:04,255
Relax, I can put it away tomorrow.
I'm in full control.
29
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,380
I have to report this to the Immigration Authority.
30
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,405
I can quit tomorrow.
I'm in full control.
31
00:10:08,430 --> 00:10:11,030
I cannot let this lie,
I have to report it.
32
00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:17,555
Do you remember that night,
in the inventory room?
33
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:23,480
After the Desmond Tutu conference?
Do you remember that?
34
00:10:54,725 --> 00:10:57,725
Yes, there are loads of money in integration.
35
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,160
Did you not know?
The christening is cancelled.
36
00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:34,685
The priest has a concussion, I think.
37
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:37,610
Ah..
Probably because you knocked his head...
38
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,300
I've saved up for the buffet all day.
Then it got cancelled.
39
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,325
I am starved.
Throw a bit more onto it there...
40
00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:30,450
- That's 75 kroner.
- Plus a soda.
41
00:12:30,675 --> 00:12:32,875
- Then it's 60 kroner.
- I'm not going to pay for it.
42
00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,500
- You forgot to ask if I'm having a drink.
43
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,900
- That's at Statoil.
- Nope, that's everywhere.
44
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,325
It's free if you forget to ask a customer
if he wants a drink.
45
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,850
That's how it is, my girl.
46
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,900
Oh shit!
47
00:12:54,925 --> 00:12:57,325
Damn phat eh?
48
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,550
Have you bought it?
49
00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:05,075
No, just ... testing it out a bit.
50
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,600
Considerng buying it, we'll see.
51
00:13:09,025 --> 00:13:11,525
- Get in.
- Let's fricking go!
52
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,550
Check the sound out!
53
00:13:40,675 --> 00:13:43,175
It's vibrating deep inside the ass.
54
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,200
Don't do it.
I have to fill petrol.
55
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:49,925
It's supposed to be full tank
when I return it.
56
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:52,550
- Relax. Who cares?
- Still though.
57
00:13:52,575 --> 00:13:55,175
- You're becoming a godfather for two?
58
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,800
- Yes, that's great stuff
59
00:13:59,825 --> 00:14:02,625
- There's one thing I'm wondering about..
60
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:06,250
- Because Jonny is part of a different religion
61
00:14:06,275 --> 00:14:08,775
- He's Catholic.
62
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,900
- What are the godfather's tasks..
63
00:14:13,525 --> 00:14:16,125
- ... when it comes to the foreskin?
64
00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:19,250
- Do I have to hold the knife, or..
65
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,775
- When they circumcise the cock's head?
66
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:25,600
- Catholics don't do that
67
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,625
- Are you sure?
- 100%
68
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,650
- For sure?
69
00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:35,275
Where are we now boys?
70
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,300
- The Vingnes bridge.
71
00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:41,725
Give your phone.
72
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,850
- Torgeir, we are sitting in a Ferrari.
- On the Vingnes bridge.
73
00:14:47,575 --> 00:14:50,575
- I have the responsibility for this Ferrari..
- Yeah yeah.
74
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,700
- Are you filming it?
- I'm filming.
75
00:15:20,725 --> 00:15:22,725
- I can feel it.
76
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:26,150
- It's the car dealer
77
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,575
- I've to answer the call
- Hey, stop it!
78
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,800
- Don't be childish.
79
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,500
- The first excersise today..
80
00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:52,625
.. is inspired by something I picked up..
81
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:56,850
.. working as a pearl diver
at the Ilolic islands.
82
00:15:57,575 --> 00:15:59,575
- Two and two together
83
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,700
- Sigrid, you come with me.
84
00:16:03,525 --> 00:16:06,525
You go to the swim teacher,
and you stay with me.
85
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:15,350
Do you train a lot?
86
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,375
No. Why?
87
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,400
You almost look too good,
having just given birth to twins.
88
00:16:22,425 --> 00:16:25,225
I've always been naturally slim.
89
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,250
I think we'll say "naturally smashing"
90
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,975
Will I hold your kids
while you speak to your husband?
91
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
He's not my husband.
We're not together.
92
00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:47,765
It's no competition.
93
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:15,265
I think you should concentrate
more on the christening.
94
00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:18,190
Everybody in the group have
gotten new dates, apart from us.
95
00:17:49,085 --> 00:17:51,085
Give me two minutes guys.
96
00:18:07,645 --> 00:18:10,845
That's straight.
But what's not straight ...
97
00:18:10,870 --> 00:18:12,870
.. is what's happening at your club.
98
00:18:16,885 --> 00:18:20,385
Our church servant found one
of your guests in the street last weekend.
99
00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:42,765
I'll christen your kids.
One one condition...
100
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:44,790
.. that I can dunk you too.
101
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,165
Excuse me, I'll skate with the kids now.
102
00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:26,490
This will be fine.
I've patched together worse things.
103
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:28,515
It'll be fine.
104
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:32,040
A new windscreen. Some new paint.
As good as new.
105
00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:36,565
You sure it's clever to do this on your own?
106
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:39,590
You would rather call
the insurance company?
107
00:19:39,615 --> 00:19:43,915
To say we smashed into an elk
while breaking the record on the bridge?
108
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,740
Just promise me that you will fix this.
109
00:19:51,765 --> 00:19:54,765
Uncle Roy will sort this out.
110
00:19:56,490 --> 00:19:59,490
Roy doesn't like getting disturbed
when he's in the garage.
111
00:19:59,515 --> 00:20:01,515
But he'll be finsihed soon.
112
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,440
It will be fine, right?
113
00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:20,665
The damage was small?
114
00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:25,190
Don't stress..
115
00:20:25,215 --> 00:20:27,615
We just want it to be perfect.
116
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,440
Damn it, I forgot that the
petrol tank is in the front.
117
00:20:41,465 --> 00:20:43,465
Shit!
118
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:48,290
What's the story with the insurance?
119
00:20:57,815 --> 00:21:01,115
Well... it's no obvious insurance case this.
120
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,440
No, but..
No need to panic.
121
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:08,165
Let's report the car stolen,
and then...
122
00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:10,190
You Dag, and Arne ..
123
00:21:10,215 --> 00:21:12,815
..arrange the paperwork
with the customer.
124
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,840
You are good at that, right?
125
00:21:14,865 --> 00:21:16,865
Yup. Or..?
126
00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:18,890
I don't know if...
127
00:21:18,915 --> 00:21:21,515
Do as Torgeir says.
OK?
128
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,740
Great.
This will sort itself out.
129
00:22:10,065 --> 00:22:12,065
Let me loose.
130
00:22:16,190 --> 00:22:18,190
Please!
Don't do this to me.
131
00:22:59,025 --> 00:23:01,025
No...
Is all this....?
132
00:23:02,150 --> 00:23:04,150
A whole skatehall
for me and the kids?
133
00:23:09,175 --> 00:23:11,175
Plywood all over the place!
134
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,200
This can't have been cheap?
135
00:23:35,025 --> 00:23:36,625
- Hi
- Hi
136
00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:38,650
This was good service.
137
00:23:38,675 --> 00:23:41,175
Yes, some extra fuss on
a day like this, you know.
138
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,600
Oh no, what have we here then?
139
00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:50,625
We're going to a christening.
140
00:23:50,650 --> 00:23:52,850
Oh yes.
What are their names?
141
00:23:52,875 --> 00:23:55,275
Asbjørn and Asbjørg.
142
00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,900
Oh yes? Yes...
143
00:23:58,925 --> 00:24:02,825
- Aren't they nice names then?
- Yes.. no .. ask my nephew...
144
00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:04,850
His name is Asbjørn.
145
00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:08,775
He went to Australia
to study medicine.
146
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,600
Was never called anything but asshole.
147
00:24:13,325 --> 00:24:16,625
It was so bad that he came
home after the first semester.
148
00:24:16,650 --> 00:24:19,050
That's sad.
149
00:24:19,075 --> 00:24:21,075
He's ok now.
150
00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:24,200
He drives a snowplough instead.
151
00:24:25,025 --> 00:24:27,525
You pick the names you like.
152
00:24:27,650 --> 00:24:31,150
It's not sure that these two
will be studying aroad.
153
00:24:31,275 --> 00:24:34,275
Or be on Facebook like
all the other kids.
154
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:40,900
As many of you know, I have skated
down the roof of the opera in rain.
155
00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:45,725
And that was aweome!
156
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:47,750
But still nothing can compare to ...
157
00:24:48,175 --> 00:24:52,275
The kick I get to welcome two new small ones,
welcome to the club ...
158
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,600
... of us that dig Jesus.
159
00:24:58,525 --> 00:25:01,525
God bless them.
160
00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:04,150
From now and forever.
161
00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:08,650
I draw on you the holy cross.
162
00:25:08,775 --> 00:25:12,775
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Ghost.
163
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:17,700
I Christen you ...
164
00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:32,625
Sorry.
165
00:25:32,650 --> 00:25:34,650
I Christen you ...
166
00:25:34,675 --> 00:25:37,175
Bjørn and Bjørg.
167
00:29:48,950 --> 00:29:52,150
It's not quite finished yet,
there's a seam I couldn't do.
168
00:29:53,475 --> 00:29:56,275
It was too difficult for me.
169
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:59,200
You're so good at knitting
to the little babies.
170
00:29:59,525 --> 00:30:01,725
So childish.
171
00:30:35,950 --> 00:30:38,450
Hope you will enjoy eating it.
172
00:30:38,975 --> 00:30:41,475
As much as I enjoyed killing it.
173
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,400
Jeez, are you here?
174
00:31:14,425 --> 00:31:16,425
Don't you remember calling?
175
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:21,350
You said there was a big black guy
with a knife in his mouth outside your window.
176
00:31:21,575 --> 00:31:23,575
No. That's emberrassing.
177
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,600
I probably called you
in my sleep.
178
00:31:25,625 --> 00:31:28,025
Yes.
That was no dream, Randi.
179
00:31:29,650 --> 00:31:31,650
Khat psychosis!
180
00:31:31,775 --> 00:31:36,175
You've chewed enough "African Salad"
to feed an entire Somalian football team.
181
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000
It'a complete chaos here.
182
00:31:39,325 --> 00:31:41,325
You're not fit to live here.
183
00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:58,050
- Dear ....
- Your cap.
184
00:31:59,175 --> 00:32:01,175
Jerk.
185
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,400
Dear Asbjørn and Asbjørg.
186
00:32:03,425 --> 00:32:05,825
- Bjørn and Bjørg.
- Bjørn and Bjørg, yes.
187
00:32:07,350 --> 00:32:09,650
It's an honour to
stand here as your godfather.
188
00:32:10,575 --> 00:32:12,575
It's normal in speaches...
189
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,200
To start with a funny story.
190
00:32:15,625 --> 00:32:19,325
So I though I'd open with
a comical misunderstanding.
191
00:32:21,050 --> 00:32:23,250
Johnny is a Catholic.
192
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:26,475
For months I was
dreading the circumcision.
193
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,800
Would I have to hold
the baby's cock when they cut it?
194
00:32:29,925 --> 00:32:32,125
Because I don't love cock -
or blood.
195
00:32:33,450 --> 00:32:36,450
But thankfully,
my knowledgeable friend could ....
196
00:32:43,275 --> 00:32:45,375
But ok.
Religion or politics..
197
00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:47,700
..don't belong in a Christening.
198
00:32:47,725 --> 00:32:51,025
So I'll skip straight to
the stars of the show - the twins.
199
00:32:51,050 --> 00:32:53,050
Dear Bjørn and Bjørg.
200
00:32:53,975 --> 00:32:56,475
Daddy, are you ok?
You're bleeding!
201
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,500
Come.
He's bleeding from the mouth.
202
00:34:05,925 --> 00:34:08,425
It's obvious that you need help.
203
00:34:08,450 --> 00:34:10,650
To get the asylum up to scratch.
204
00:34:14,975 --> 00:34:16,975
So I have...
205
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,200
Made an agreement.
206
00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:23,025
About how we can cooperate
207
00:34:29,850 --> 00:34:32,450
But I'm not selling the asylum.
208
00:34:32,575 --> 00:34:34,575
At least not that cheap.
209
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,000
Would rather have me
explaining to the Authorities ...
210
00:34:37,225 --> 00:34:40,425
.. that the destiny of war refugees
are in the hands of a junkie?
211
00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:44,250
You can't do this to an old friend!
212
00:34:45,975 --> 00:34:48,775
Did you forget that night
at the Desmond Tutu conference?
213
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,800
Right enough. That night?
214
00:34:52,425 --> 00:34:56,325
Do you know how many times
I tried to get a hold of you afterwards?
215
00:34:56,350 --> 00:34:58,350
You didn't even bother answering.
216
00:34:58,975 --> 00:35:00,975
I didn't moan about it.
217
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
But that was the old Jan.
218
00:35:03,025 --> 00:35:06,525
The obedient bitch
that begged everybody to be liked.
219
00:35:07,550 --> 00:35:09,550
"Can you get the coffee, Jan?"
220
00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:13,975
"Can you tidy these documents when I'm
away on a romantic holiday with my lover?"
221
00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:18,800
Do you know what happened to that bitch?
222
00:35:19,225 --> 00:35:21,225
It died when I got fired from my old job.
223
00:35:21,750 --> 00:35:23,750
What you see now is a fighting dog.
224
00:35:23,775 --> 00:35:26,475
And it's not fucking tame!
225
00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:29,000
Sign the contact!
226
00:35:39,525 --> 00:35:41,525
The new Jan scares me.
227
00:35:41,950 --> 00:35:44,550
But he makes your
panties a bit wet too.
228
00:35:44,575 --> 00:35:46,875
Doesn't he?
229
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:37,000
Randi was so nice to
invite us with as co-owners.
230
00:36:45,025 --> 00:36:47,125
The leader of the asylum centre..
231
00:36:47,550 --> 00:36:50,950
..has a weakness for herbs
you can't find in the supermarket.
232
00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:52,975
It created ...
233
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:17,400
Private party here tonight.
234
00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:30,800
It's fair that who messed up take
the main responsibility for the clean-up.