﻿1
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Previously on Awkward...

2
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Loser girl becomes
a loser burnout.

3
00:00:04,085 --> 00:00:06,719
You are such a cliche.

4
00:00:06,721 --> 00:00:08,054
Your friends are supposed
to stay on your side.

5
00:00:08,056 --> 00:00:11,057
You're starting to fixate.

6
00:00:11,059 --> 00:00:12,892
My reality felt
like solitary confinement.

7
00:00:12,894 --> 00:00:14,093
Let's just get outta here.

8
00:00:16,763 --> 00:00:18,764
Collin and I had been seeing
each other for weeks,

9
00:00:18,766 --> 00:00:20,966
but we hadn't felt
the need to DTR.

10
00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:22,201
We were beyond it.

11
00:00:22,203 --> 00:00:24,736
Because when it came to him,
I was all-in.

12
00:00:24,738 --> 00:00:27,472
Not to mention
DTRing was for suckers.

13
00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:30,742
Dude, your hair's smoking.

14
00:00:30,744 --> 00:00:32,911
Holy fuck, you're on fire.

15
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[Both chuckle]

16
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[Gasps]

17
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What the hell?

18
00:00:36,583 --> 00:00:38,783
I loathed hanging out
in the Sanctuary.

19
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But it was the only place

20
00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:42,420
Collin and I could be together
hater-free.

21
00:00:42,422 --> 00:00:46,124
♪

22
00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:48,326
And Monday mornings definitely
brought out the dregs.

23
00:00:48,328 --> 00:00:49,794
It was like an AA meeting.

24
00:00:49,796 --> 00:00:51,830
All the addicts
needed their fix

25
00:00:51,832 --> 00:00:53,131
to make it through the week.

26
00:00:53,133 --> 00:00:54,699
Thank God I wasn't one of them.

27
00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:56,467
I gotta go.

28
00:00:56,469 --> 00:00:57,635
Wait, no, no, no.

29
00:00:57,637 --> 00:00:58,970
Please, just one more.

30
00:00:58,972 --> 00:01:02,640
That's how it started
for me too.

31
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I can walk away anytime I want.

32
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♪

33
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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

34
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Way to make an effort,
Hamiltrick.

35
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Nice bra.

36
00:01:27,401 --> 00:01:31,703
Okay, it is
an hour-long class.

37
00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:35,139
Romeo will still be here
when it's all over.

38
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Well, it's that time
of year again

39
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when we put out a new edition
of Experior.

40
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Does anybody know
what Experior means?

41
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Experior is a superhero

42
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who possess the power
of telekinesis

43
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and extra-dimensional
time travel.

44
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It's Latin for
"Let it be printed,"

45
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and it's also the name
of our literary magazine.

46
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Now you will all
be submitting an essay

47
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for this year's issue,

48
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which, judging by the level
of talent in this room,

49
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,400
should look more like a flyer.

50
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This year's topic...
Heroes and villains.

51
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- Hey.
- Oh, I'll be right back.

52
00:02:08,242 --> 00:02:10,209
- Yeah?
- I need your help.

53
00:02:10,211 --> 00:02:12,044
And quite frankly,
you need mine.

54
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I overheard Principal Cox
talking about

55
00:02:14,282 --> 00:02:16,348
another round-ee-round
of pink slips.

56
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That's just talk.

57
00:02:17,351 --> 00:02:18,550
Oh, yeah?

58
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,052
Look what I found
on my desk this morning.

59
00:02:20,054 --> 00:02:21,487
That's a phone message.

60
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,523
Yeah, but it could have just
as easily been a pink slip.

61
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Who are you?

62
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Valerie Marks,
Guidance Counselor.

63
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And more recently,
choir leader,

64
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cheer coach, drill team mentor.

65
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Oh, a woman of many trades.

66
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Oh, no, only one.

67
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I hate doing
all that other crap.

68
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I'm just trying to make
myself indispensable.

69
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Why are you here?

70
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There's a district-wide
video competition,

71
00:02:41,142 --> 00:02:42,608
the winner of which gets...

72
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:43,609
[Drum roll]

73
00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:44,810
Drum roll.

74
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A nurse for a month.

75
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Our nurse was cut?

76
00:02:48,249 --> 00:02:50,416
Let's just say she went
gently into that good night.

77
00:02:50,418 --> 00:02:51,750
- EE Cummings.
- Dylan Thomas.

78
00:02:51,752 --> 00:02:53,186
Who cares what
the nurse's name was?

79
00:02:53,188 --> 00:02:55,021
If I win this thing,
it'll increase my profile

80
00:02:55,023 --> 00:02:57,123
and make me
even more indispensable--

81
00:02:57,125 --> 00:03:00,092
and you, if I can borrow
your students.

82
00:03:00,094 --> 00:03:02,928
Will this project interfere
with my teaching schedule?

83
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:05,131
- Just for a week.
- Perfect.

84
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Drama.

85
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,768
Intrigue.
Suicide.

86
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Drugs.
Depression.

87
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Friendship.
Love.

88
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,409
Alcoholism.

89
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Freeze frames.

90
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These delightful
and somewhat scary words

91
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describe my favorite TV genre,

92
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the After...

93
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School...

94
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Special.

95
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ASS for short.

96
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I was addicted to them.

97
00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:35,829
Uh, you might want
to explain that,

98
00:03:35,831 --> 00:03:36,997
unless you brought
a time machine.

99
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I did not.

100
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After-school specials were
made-for-TV movies for pubes--

101
00:03:42,671 --> 00:03:44,170
pubescents--
back in the day,

102
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which dealt with
controversial subjects

103
00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:49,609
and socially relevant issues.

104
00:03:49,611 --> 00:03:51,143
Lifetime movies for teens.

105
00:03:51,145 --> 00:03:54,747
And I need a crackerjack team
of writers and filmmakers

106
00:03:54,749 --> 00:03:56,148
who can make it happen.

107
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We'll meet
after school this week.

108
00:03:58,118 --> 00:04:00,519
Feel free to ask your friends
to participate.

109
00:04:00,521 --> 00:04:03,222
But only the attractive ones.

110
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:05,390
We're talking HD-friendly.

111
00:04:05,392 --> 00:04:06,958
Uh-uh.

112
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,661
Ugh, the ASS is gonna
be a train wreck.

113
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,796
- What should we do in it?
- Nothing.

114
00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:13,231
Now that I'm grounded,

115
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:15,099
after school is the only time
we get to spend together.

116
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Yeah, but I don't think
we can get out of it.

117
00:04:17,303 --> 00:04:21,372
Oh, yes, we can.

118
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Have you been crying?
Your eyes look bloodshot.

119
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:26,678
I guess I just
got a little emotional

120
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,313
when I found out about my mom.

121
00:04:28,315 --> 00:04:29,681
Did something happen
to L-dog?

122
00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:30,849
She sprained her back.

123
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Oh, no.
Oh, I gotta call her.

124
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:34,052
No, don't do that.

125
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She doesn't want
anyone to know.

126
00:04:35,856 --> 00:04:37,422
She's embarrassed.

127
00:04:37,424 --> 00:04:41,426
Oh, because it happened
during sex?

128
00:04:41,428 --> 00:04:42,994
I can neither confirm nor deny.

129
00:04:42,996 --> 00:04:44,429
Hmm, I see.

130
00:04:44,431 --> 00:04:47,165
I bet that Kevin's a real
stingray in the sack.

131
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:49,967
Collin and I have to go
straight home after school,

132
00:04:49,969 --> 00:04:52,069
and we can't be
in your awesome video.

133
00:04:52,071 --> 00:04:53,604
We're so bummed.

134
00:04:53,606 --> 00:04:55,306
If I had to guess
what your parents were doing,

135
00:04:55,308 --> 00:04:56,774
I'd say the pile driver.

136
00:04:56,776 --> 00:05:00,278
Or maybe the backwards
jellyfish.

137
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,512
Why does Collin
need to be there?

138
00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:03,347
My mom needs help
getting to the bathroom

139
00:05:03,349 --> 00:05:05,183
until my dad gets home.

140
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,285
You are released.

141
00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:08,619
I take that back.

142
00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:12,022
Must have been
the dirty Santa Claus.

143
00:05:17,196 --> 00:05:18,363
Are you trying
to torture yourself,

144
00:05:18,365 --> 00:05:20,364
or are you just
a straight-up creeper?

145
00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:22,433
I am just trying
to wrap my head around

146
00:05:22,435 --> 00:05:24,134
how the hell this happened.

147
00:05:24,136 --> 00:05:25,769
Why do you care?

148
00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:28,138
Jenna is
a ho-bag slut machine

149
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:30,408
who humiliated you
in front of the world.

150
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:33,377
Yeah, but somewhere deep down,
she's still my friend.

151
00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:35,813
You are so nice, it's annoying.

152
00:05:35,815 --> 00:05:38,415
The subject matter
for the after-school specials

153
00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:42,452
ran the gamut from drunk moms
to teenage prostitution

154
00:05:42,454 --> 00:05:44,121
to rheumatoid arthritis.

155
00:05:44,123 --> 00:05:45,122
[Giggles]

156
00:05:45,124 --> 00:05:47,758
Is that funny to you, blondie?

157
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,893
How funny you think it was
for poor Carol Ann,

158
00:05:49,895 --> 00:05:52,262
a skater on her way
to Olympic gold

159
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,397
who woke up one day
and couldn't fit

160
00:05:54,399 --> 00:05:56,133
her fat elephant feet
into her size 6 skates?

161
00:05:56,135 --> 00:05:58,134
Not funny at all.

162
00:05:58,136 --> 00:06:00,403
Even though every ASS
had a different message,

163
00:06:00,405 --> 00:06:03,573
they had the same six steps
to get you there.

164
00:06:14,819 --> 00:06:16,086
Number one,

165
00:06:16,088 --> 00:06:18,955
establish the problem
of the main character,

166
00:06:18,957 --> 00:06:20,724
the troubled teen.

167
00:06:20,726 --> 00:06:21,925
Can I play her?

168
00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:23,460
Only if we end up doing
porn star runaway

169
00:06:23,462 --> 00:06:24,594
or eating disorder.

170
00:06:24,596 --> 00:06:25,762
Speaking of slutty,

171
00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:27,297
how did Jenna get out of this?

172
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,532
Can't talk about it.

173
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:29,967
Let's just say it involved
a sex injury.

174
00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:32,035
Of course it did.

175
00:06:33,971 --> 00:06:35,639
I have an idea.

176
00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:37,674
Why don't we do a story

177
00:06:37,676 --> 00:06:39,443
about a troubled loser girl

178
00:06:39,445 --> 00:06:41,178
who's so desperate
for attention

179
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,113
she tries to commit suicide,
fails,

180
00:06:43,115 --> 00:06:45,782
then defies all odds
by becoming popular

181
00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:48,118
and then manages
slowly but surely

182
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,654
to alienate everyone
in her life,

183
00:06:50,656 --> 00:06:53,190
and then she dies?

184
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,294
I think it's...

185
00:06:57,296 --> 00:06:59,597
perfect.

186
00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:01,198
All we need is a title.

187
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,035
How about, What Are We Gonna
Do About Jenny?

188
00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:07,104
I think we have a winner.

189
00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:09,239
What Are We Gonna Do About--

190
00:07:09,241 --> 00:07:10,707
- Jenna.

191
00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:13,376
Seriously, you guys,
what are we gonna do about her?

192
00:07:13,378 --> 00:07:14,644
I'm confused.

193
00:07:14,646 --> 00:07:15,978
I thought you never wanted
to talk to her again.

194
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,780
I don't wanna talk to her.
I wanna yell at her.

195
00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,248
I kinda wanna smack her.

196
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,117
I tried to stay out of it,
but I can't just sit back

197
00:07:21,119 --> 00:07:24,020
and watch Jenna drift
into Amanda Bynesville.

198
00:07:24,022 --> 00:07:25,822
So what are we gonna do?

199
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,324
I think we're gonna need
some guidance

200
00:07:27,326 --> 00:07:30,060
or some counseling.

201
00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:33,363
Or some guidance counseling.

202
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:34,831
What do we do if we know
one of our friends

203
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:36,867
is in trouble?

204
00:07:36,869 --> 00:07:38,035
I don't know,
talk to 'em, I guess.

205
00:07:38,037 --> 00:07:41,005
But he, or she,
won't listen to us

206
00:07:41,007 --> 00:07:43,107
because he, or she,
has been hanging out

207
00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:44,341
with a really bad dude.

208
00:07:44,343 --> 00:07:45,809
Oh, I see.

209
00:07:45,811 --> 00:07:48,045
Your friend's having
a gender identity crisis.

210
00:07:48,047 --> 00:07:50,480
No, our friend
is skipping school

211
00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:54,918
and turning into
a gange-head.

212
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,153
You strike me as being
very concerned

213
00:07:57,155 --> 00:07:58,721
about your friend.

214
00:07:58,723 --> 00:08:01,123
I'd go so far as to call you

215
00:08:01,125 --> 00:08:04,394
the concerned friends.

216
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,730
My advice is to get involved

217
00:08:06,732 --> 00:08:09,199
in an after-school activity.

218
00:08:09,201 --> 00:08:11,001
Ming, can you remove
your hat please?

219
00:08:17,942 --> 00:08:19,776
Have you ever thought
about acting?

220
00:08:19,778 --> 00:08:22,379
Tamara had a memorable
scenery-chewing turn

221
00:08:22,381 --> 00:08:24,548
in Dead Stacey,
but what about you two?

222
00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:25,549
I was in it too.

223
00:08:25,551 --> 00:08:27,150
Eh, not so memorable.

224
00:08:27,152 --> 00:08:28,251
How is acting going to help?

225
00:08:28,253 --> 00:08:29,953
It'll free you up as people.

226
00:08:29,955 --> 00:08:31,154
Okay, please stand up.

227
00:08:31,156 --> 00:08:32,288
I'd like to try some improv.

228
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,759
I'm confused.

229
00:08:35,761 --> 00:08:37,127
Yeah, what are we supposed
to be doing?

230
00:08:37,129 --> 00:08:38,328
You're supposed to be confused,

231
00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:40,464
and you are succeeding.

232
00:08:40,466 --> 00:08:42,766
You, you're about to be shipped
off to a German work camp.

233
00:08:42,768 --> 00:08:44,936
You can only bring one friend.
The other friend will die.

234
00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:46,237
Who do you choose?
Don't think!

235
00:08:46,239 --> 00:08:47,638
I don't know, I can't decide!

236
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,273
But I would rather die than
kill off one of my friends.

237
00:08:49,275 --> 00:08:51,342
Oh, impressive.

238
00:08:53,178 --> 00:08:57,481
You two in the back,
please step forward.

239
00:08:57,483 --> 00:08:59,683
Jake, take one step back.

240
00:09:02,487 --> 00:09:04,689
You two in the front row,
congratulations, you made it.

241
00:09:04,691 --> 00:09:07,158
- [Squeals]
- You in the back,

242
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,759
I'm sorry.

243
00:09:08,761 --> 00:09:10,528
You'll have to tell your mom
that you'll be late to dinner,

244
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:12,263
- because you made it too!
- I made what?

245
00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:14,465
My ASS,
my after-school special video.

246
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:16,734
- No, I'm not doing that.
- Not my jam.

247
00:09:16,736 --> 00:09:18,403
I'll give you a mental health
day pass to skip school.

248
00:09:18,405 --> 00:09:19,404
- Done.
- I'm in.

249
00:09:19,406 --> 00:09:20,338
I don't need the pass.

250
00:09:23,781 --> 00:09:26,817
Have you started
your essay yet?

251
00:09:26,819 --> 00:09:28,852
I'll write it tonight.

252
00:09:28,854 --> 00:09:29,953
If I can stay awake.

253
00:09:29,955 --> 00:09:32,256
What time did you leave
last night-- 2:00?

254
00:09:32,258 --> 00:09:33,323
Mm, more like 3:00.

255
00:09:36,694 --> 00:09:37,795
Hey.

256
00:09:39,331 --> 00:09:41,832
What is it?

257
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:44,769
A ticket for the A train.

258
00:09:46,805 --> 00:09:48,873
What if I need
a round-trip ticket?

259
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:55,513
[Energetic techno music]

260
00:09:55,515 --> 00:09:57,548
I hadn't decided what to write
my essay about,

261
00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,817
so I was just writing anything
that popped into my head.

262
00:09:59,819 --> 00:10:01,485
But why was it so hard to settle
on a subject matter?

263
00:10:01,487 --> 00:10:02,887
Hero or villain?

264
00:10:02,889 --> 00:10:04,822
Maybe running around the block a
few times would help me decide.

265
00:10:04,824 --> 00:10:07,492
I had never felt so inspired
and yet so scattered.

266
00:10:07,494 --> 00:10:10,462
It was weird and awesome,
but what was even awesomer--

267
00:10:10,464 --> 00:10:11,796
There were certain things

268
00:10:11,798 --> 00:10:13,698
I had learned about myself
over the years,

269
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,134
but the single
most important thing was

270
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:21,005
I loved writing about me
and all my stupid problems.

271
00:10:21,007 --> 00:10:22,540
Maybe my side braid
was cutting off

272
00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:23,941
the circulation to my brain,

273
00:10:23,943 --> 00:10:25,576
but I couldn't stop
doing dumb stuff

274
00:10:25,578 --> 00:10:26,744
I would regret later.

275
00:10:26,746 --> 00:10:28,313
- Cut!
- [Bell rings]

276
00:10:28,315 --> 00:10:30,348
Enough with the blogging.
Jesus.

277
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:32,650
So boring.
Am I right?

278
00:10:32,652 --> 00:10:34,452
- Totally.
- Watch yourself.

279
00:10:34,454 --> 00:10:37,288
I wrote you into the script,
and I can write you out.

280
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:38,923
This is about Jenna.

281
00:10:38,925 --> 00:10:40,491
And she is not gonna like it.

282
00:10:40,493 --> 00:10:42,827
Or it'll snap her
out of her insanity.

283
00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:44,195
Okay.

284
00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:47,532
Let's move on to the
"Establish the problem" montage.

285
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:49,967
Kyle, you're the good guy jock.

286
00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:51,536
Jake, you're the bad guy.

287
00:10:51,538 --> 00:10:53,204
Why do I have to be
the bad guy?

288
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:54,606
'Cause you're always typecast
as a goody-goody.

289
00:10:54,608 --> 00:10:56,941
- In what?
- In life.

290
00:10:56,943 --> 00:10:58,709
[Scoffs]

291
00:10:58,711 --> 00:11:00,711
I wasn't always a bad girl.

292
00:11:00,713 --> 00:11:02,680
I was just boring and lame.

293
00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:05,316
But lately, I had become
a hard-core bitch

294
00:11:05,318 --> 00:11:07,686
who also happened to be
boring and lame.

295
00:11:07,688 --> 00:11:10,388
But in order to understand
how I got where I was,

296
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:12,891
you needed to know
where I'd been.

297
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:14,859
After getting caught cheating
with Calvin

298
00:11:14,861 --> 00:11:16,027
on my boyfriend, Danny,

299
00:11:16,029 --> 00:11:17,495
I lost all my friends.

300
00:11:17,497 --> 00:11:19,197
I was alone.

301
00:11:19,199 --> 00:11:21,799
But it wasn't long
before I found a new friend

302
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:23,467
to lift my spirits--

303
00:11:23,469 --> 00:11:25,235
Mary Jane.

304
00:11:25,237 --> 00:11:27,271
I had become an addict
and a loser.

305
00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:28,338
Well...
[Giggles]

306
00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:30,307
A more epic loser,

307
00:11:30,309 --> 00:11:33,810
since I was a loser
from the start.

308
00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:35,079
But my piece de resistance
was pushing away

309
00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:37,047
the only people
who had to love me...

310
00:11:37,049 --> 00:11:38,516
[Door clicks open]

311
00:11:38,518 --> 00:11:40,117
People who were far more
attractive than me

312
00:11:40,119 --> 00:11:41,752
and in no way, shape, or form
could have been

313
00:11:41,754 --> 00:11:43,287
my biological parents,

314
00:11:43,289 --> 00:11:44,622
because they were smokin' hot.

315
00:11:44,624 --> 00:11:46,857
- I hate you and your boobs!
- I hate you!

316
00:11:46,859 --> 00:11:49,127
And it made me want to die...

317
00:11:49,129 --> 00:11:51,062
even more than usual.

318
00:11:51,064 --> 00:11:52,997
[Gags]

319
00:11:56,135 --> 00:11:57,903
Hey, it's me.

320
00:11:57,905 --> 00:12:00,005
I'm just calling to say
I miss you.

321
00:12:00,007 --> 00:12:01,439
I know it's only been
ten seconds,

322
00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:03,074
but I miss you already.

323
00:12:03,076 --> 00:12:04,943
Meet me in my room in 30?

324
00:12:04,945 --> 00:12:06,578
Okay, bye.
Whoa.

325
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,747
What the hell is this?

326
00:12:08,749 --> 00:12:11,049
- You're sick?
- And you're unbelievable.

327
00:12:11,051 --> 00:12:12,550
You don't even remember
your own lies.

328
00:12:12,552 --> 00:12:13,951
They're from Valerie.

329
00:12:13,953 --> 00:12:15,787
She's doing this lame video
project after school,

330
00:12:15,789 --> 00:12:17,455
and I can't waste
my time on that

331
00:12:17,457 --> 00:12:19,957
when I've got an important paper
to write for Mr. Hart.

332
00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:21,893
It's gonna be published
in his lit magazine.

333
00:12:21,895 --> 00:12:23,128
Isn't that cool?

334
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:24,996
So you lied to Valerie

335
00:12:24,998 --> 00:12:26,731
to get out of doing
her project,

336
00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:28,333
and you used me as your excuse,

337
00:12:28,335 --> 00:12:29,968
not to mention your dad,

338
00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:33,037
who Valerie now thinks
is some crazy sex fiend.

339
00:12:33,039 --> 00:12:36,074
Jenna, she sent me
a jellyfish balloon.

340
00:12:36,076 --> 00:12:37,809
- Mom, it's no big deal--
- Eh!

341
00:12:37,811 --> 00:12:38,877
Get in the car.

342
00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:40,879
You are doing this lame video,

343
00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:43,081
and on the way over,
you're gonna explain to me

344
00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:44,783
what a backwards jellyfish is.

345
00:12:44,785 --> 00:12:45,783
Cut!

346
00:12:45,785 --> 00:12:47,985
[Bell rings]

347
00:12:47,987 --> 00:12:49,454
[Sighs]

348
00:12:49,456 --> 00:12:51,489
I've seen rock bottom,
and that wasn't it.

349
00:12:51,491 --> 00:12:53,892
We are talking
depths of despair,

350
00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:57,495
basement level,
absolute bottom.

351
00:12:57,497 --> 00:13:00,565
Like if your parents lost
all their money.

352
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:04,202
In that case, I would
definitely kill myself.

353
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:05,837
If I were Jenny.

354
00:13:05,839 --> 00:13:07,839
I know how to make fake blood.

355
00:13:07,841 --> 00:13:10,642
It totally looks real.
It even smells real.

356
00:13:10,644 --> 00:13:13,178
But it's not.

357
00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:14,379
[Eerie screech]

358
00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:16,248
No. No. No blood.
No dying.

359
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,482
We are not gonna win
this contest

360
00:13:17,484 --> 00:13:18,517
with a sad ending.

361
00:13:18,519 --> 00:13:20,285
This isn't the Golden Globes.

362
00:13:20,287 --> 00:13:22,588
Jenny lives.

363
00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:25,090
[Door opens]

364
00:13:25,092 --> 00:13:26,358
L-dog!

365
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,860
So good to see you
back on your feet,

366
00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:30,696
you sneaky dickens, you.

367
00:13:30,698 --> 00:13:32,564
You know, I've always believed
in the power

368
00:13:32,566 --> 00:13:34,667
of a good balloon arrangement.

369
00:13:34,669 --> 00:13:37,002
That's why they call it
"Heal-ium".

370
00:13:37,004 --> 00:13:38,837
And I am healed!

371
00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:42,707
Which means Jenna doesn't have
to take care of me anymore.

372
00:13:42,709 --> 00:13:44,509
She is all yours.

373
00:13:44,511 --> 00:13:45,510
Great!

374
00:13:45,512 --> 00:13:50,015
FYI, it's a closed set.

375
00:13:50,017 --> 00:13:51,116
Pick up where we left off!
[Bell rings]

376
00:13:51,118 --> 00:13:53,318
And action!
Voiceover.

377
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,086
I had hit rock bottom,

378
00:13:55,088 --> 00:13:57,621
and it felt surprisingly
like home.

379
00:13:57,623 --> 00:13:59,423
Even though there was nowhere
to go but up,

380
00:13:59,425 --> 00:14:01,859
I wanted to stay there
and move in.

381
00:14:01,861 --> 00:14:03,694
What is this?

382
00:14:03,696 --> 00:14:06,964
An uber-tragic tale
about a loser girl

383
00:14:06,966 --> 00:14:09,434
who wants to die, called...

384
00:14:09,436 --> 00:14:11,936
What Are We Gonna Go
About Jenny?

385
00:14:14,907 --> 00:14:16,641
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.

386
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,827
Jenna, you are going to be

387
00:14:21,829 --> 00:14:22,895
concerned friend number four.

388
00:14:22,897 --> 00:14:23,963
Actually, I think I'd make

389
00:14:23,965 --> 00:14:25,064
a much better enemy.

390
00:14:25,066 --> 00:14:26,399
No, no, no, no.

391
00:14:26,401 --> 00:14:27,833
You're way too goody-two-shoes
to pull that off.

392
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:29,869
All right, listen up, actors.

393
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:31,103
You're in the mall.

394
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:33,138
There are zombies everywhere,

395
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,740
and they're headed
for the food court--

396
00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:36,609
only you are the food.

397
00:14:36,611 --> 00:14:39,312
That is your emotional state.
And action!

398
00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:44,384
Get out of my room!

399
00:14:44,386 --> 00:14:46,519
We can't watch you
throw away your life!

400
00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:48,087
My life is over!

401
00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:49,889
I had a hot boyfriend
who loved me

402
00:14:49,891 --> 00:14:53,393
even though I'm an unlovable,
plain loser freak

403
00:14:53,395 --> 00:14:54,661
with no fashion sense,

404
00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:57,631
but I dumped him
for a pothead douche hole,

405
00:14:57,633 --> 00:14:59,099
and now I have
to live with that,

406
00:14:59,101 --> 00:15:00,534
which is why I get high

407
00:15:00,536 --> 00:15:02,269
just to make it
through the day.

408
00:15:02,271 --> 00:15:04,671
I don't care
if you hate us right now.

409
00:15:04,673 --> 00:15:06,673
We're your friends,
and you need to hear this.

410
00:15:06,675 --> 00:15:08,341
I have no friends!

411
00:15:08,343 --> 00:15:09,742
I'm a loser!

412
00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:12,411
I'm so dirty and gross
and high,

413
00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:14,380
I just want to kill myself!

414
00:15:14,382 --> 00:15:16,115
Stop talking like that.
We love you.

415
00:15:16,117 --> 00:15:17,583
And we're worried about you.

416
00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:19,585
Actually, Jenny, I'm not
worried about you at all.

417
00:15:19,587 --> 00:15:21,086
You seem fine to me,

418
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,821
so go on and live your life,

419
00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:24,290
which is none of our business.

420
00:15:24,292 --> 00:15:25,891
We'll leave you alone.

421
00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:27,125
We already left her alone,

422
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,461
and she made
some very bad choices.

423
00:15:29,463 --> 00:15:31,229
So what?
They were her choices.

424
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,764
Were they?
Because it seemed like Jenny

425
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,467
was just doing whatever
her boyfriend wanted her to do.

426
00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:37,736
And that guy is bad news.

427
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,538
They're improvising.

428
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,973
Oh, improv.

429
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,041
You don't even know Calvin,

430
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,142
and I can say that for a fact

431
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,677
because I hardly know him,

432
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:46,978
because we're too busy
getting high

433
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,614
and doing it
to have an actual conversation.

434
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,050
Not true-- you and Calvin have
meaningful conversations

435
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,217
all the time.

436
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,485
I think Jenny's just dating him

437
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,120
'cause she likes hanging out
with a bad boy.

438
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,990
Or maybe because he has
the sweet pot connections.

439
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,660
Or maybe because he owns
a jet ski!

440
00:16:01,662 --> 00:16:03,128
She's dating him
because she likes him.

441
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,262
End of story.

442
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,664
All this fighting and arguing

443
00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:07,332
just makes me want to die more!

444
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,600
You are so out of it,

445
00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:10,001
you don't even know
what you're saying!

446
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,137
I am not out of it,
and I don't need your help,

447
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,505
so leave me alone.

448
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:16,308
[The Dig's Over You playing]

449
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:23,181
♪ Fall into a dream ♪

450
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:26,651
♪ in a hollow room ♪

451
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,553
Uh, give me a minute.

452
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,622
♪ Frozen in a sleep ♪

453
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:31,656
Hey.

454
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,925
What?

455
00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:34,293
Are you gonna talk to me too?

456
00:16:34,295 --> 00:16:35,894
Tell me I'm going
down the wrong path,

457
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,763
hanging out with bad people?

458
00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:39,999
You wanna warn me?
Go for it.

459
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:43,969
♪ Calling out to me ♪

460
00:16:43,971 --> 00:16:46,872
Nope.

461
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:50,643
♪ Calling out my name ♪

462
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:52,111
I'm sorry, J.

463
00:16:52,113 --> 00:16:54,280
You're suspended.

464
00:16:59,357 --> 00:17:01,425
I got you the pills,
but this isn't enough.

465
00:17:01,427 --> 00:17:02,593
It's all I got.

466
00:17:02,595 --> 00:17:03,594
I'll give you the rest
tomorrow, dude.

467
00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:04,594
I swear.

468
00:17:04,596 --> 00:17:05,929
That's not good enough.

469
00:17:05,931 --> 00:17:08,665
[Both grunting]

470
00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:10,800
Ugh!

471
00:17:10,802 --> 00:17:13,103
Oh, my God, you killed him!

472
00:17:13,105 --> 00:17:14,971
Oh!

473
00:17:14,973 --> 00:17:16,974
[Gasping]

474
00:17:16,976 --> 00:17:20,076
[Dramatic synthesizer music]

475
00:17:20,078 --> 00:17:25,815
♪

476
00:17:25,817 --> 00:17:29,586
Calvin!

477
00:17:29,588 --> 00:17:33,924
Nooo...

478
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:35,625
All this fighting and arguing

479
00:17:35,627 --> 00:17:37,994
just makes me want to die more!

480
00:17:37,996 --> 00:17:39,262
You are so out of it,

481
00:17:39,264 --> 00:17:40,797
you don't even know
what you're saying.

482
00:17:40,799 --> 00:17:42,632
I am not out of it,
and I don't need your help,

483
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:43,633
so just leave me alone.

484
00:17:43,635 --> 00:17:45,668
I just want to kill myself!

485
00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:52,542
♪

486
00:17:52,544 --> 00:17:54,010
I wanted to die.

487
00:17:54,012 --> 00:17:55,378
I deserve to die.

488
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:58,515
But I guess it's time for me
to start living...

489
00:17:58,517 --> 00:18:00,450
for now.

490
00:18:03,721 --> 00:18:06,723
[Uplifting music]

491
00:18:06,725 --> 00:18:14,664
♪

492
00:18:18,435 --> 00:18:20,836
First prize goes to...

493
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:23,672
Valerie Marks,
for her moving portrait

494
00:18:23,674 --> 00:18:26,942
of a deeply troubled girl
who lost her way.

495
00:18:29,046 --> 00:18:31,981
Deeply troubled girl
who lost her way...

496
00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:36,286
You are so out of it,
you don't even know

497
00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:37,654
what you're saying.

498
00:18:37,656 --> 00:18:39,222
I am not out of it,
and I don't need your help,

499
00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:42,225
so just leave me alo--
[Click]

500
00:18:42,227 --> 00:18:44,627
Oh, my God.

501
00:18:44,629 --> 00:18:46,162
I was so busy with my ASS,

502
00:18:46,164 --> 00:18:48,598
I didn't see the ASS
in front of my face.

503
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,733
Jenna is Jenny.

504
00:18:50,735 --> 00:18:52,735
[Doorbell rings]

505
00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:54,737
[Crickets chirping]

506
00:18:54,739 --> 00:18:55,838
Why are you here?

507
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,974
I'm the help that arrives.
Yay!

508
00:18:57,976 --> 00:18:59,108
Well, I don't need it,

509
00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:00,209
so why don't you be the help

510
00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:01,210
that goes the hell away?

511
00:19:01,212 --> 00:19:02,445
That's the pot talking.

512
00:19:02,447 --> 00:19:04,881
And I am sorry
that it took me so long

513
00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:07,216
to get up to speed--
which you might be on too.

514
00:19:07,218 --> 00:19:09,518
But I'm ready now.

515
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,222
And as your friend,
I'm ready to help,

516
00:19:12,224 --> 00:19:13,690
'cause you're my girl.

517
00:19:13,692 --> 00:19:15,992
Your girl.

518
00:19:15,994 --> 00:19:17,594
Don't you see
how weird that is?

519
00:19:17,596 --> 00:19:18,862
No, of course you don't,

520
00:19:18,864 --> 00:19:20,363
'cause you don't
understand boundaries.

521
00:19:20,365 --> 00:19:21,964
I'm not your friend,

522
00:19:21,966 --> 00:19:23,266
and I never have been.

523
00:19:23,268 --> 00:19:25,268
You're just
my guidance counselor,

524
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:27,070
and a sucky one at that.

525
00:19:29,707 --> 00:19:30,806
Since I had known her,

526
00:19:30,808 --> 00:19:32,608
Valerie had always
crossed the line,

527
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:34,810
and I had always let it slide.

528
00:19:34,812 --> 00:19:37,246
But what was the point
of our special friendship

529
00:19:37,248 --> 00:19:38,647
if she wasn't going
to let me off

530
00:19:38,649 --> 00:19:40,282
with a slap on the wrist?

531
00:19:40,284 --> 00:19:41,650
As far as I was concerned,

532
00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:44,520
by suspending me,
she had crossed over the line

533
00:19:44,522 --> 00:19:47,723
to the point of no return,

534
00:19:47,725 --> 00:19:50,426
which is exactly
where I wanted to be...

535
00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:57,166
until I found a drug
that was going to make me

536
00:19:57,168 --> 00:19:59,402
feel really good--

537
00:19:59,404 --> 00:20:00,670
revenge.

538
00:20:00,672 --> 00:20:02,472
The good thing
about having been suspended?

539
00:20:02,474 --> 00:20:05,609
I had plenty of time
to finish Hart's assignment,

540
00:20:05,611 --> 00:20:08,111
and I knew exactly
who I would write about.

541
00:20:08,113 --> 00:20:11,314
Only there weren't going to be
any heroes in my story,

542
00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:13,349
just a villain.

543
00:20:13,351 --> 00:20:15,584
One very familiar villain.

544
00:20:15,586 --> 00:20:19,621
♪ Right to share your queries ♪

545
00:20:19,623 --> 00:20:21,913
♪ of the day ♪

546
00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:24,314
_

547
00:20:24,428 --> 00:20:28,297
♪

548
00:20:28,299 --> 00:20:31,533
It was time for me
to take that bitch down.

549
00:20:31,535 --> 00:20:33,769
[Bell ringing]

550
00:20:33,771 --> 00:20:36,038
A piece of writing
was never more perfect

551
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,673
than in that fleeting moment
between finishing it

552
00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:39,742
and hearing
someone else's opinion.

553
00:20:39,744 --> 00:20:42,945
In that moment,
my Val expose was still pure,

554
00:20:42,947 --> 00:20:45,047
still poetry, still--

555
00:20:45,049 --> 00:20:46,849
- Pass.
- What?

556
00:20:46,851 --> 00:20:48,251
I am not gonna publish this.

557
00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:50,153
I couldn't let my "Tell all"
become a "Tell none."

558
00:20:50,155 --> 00:20:51,287
That's censorship!

559
00:20:51,289 --> 00:20:53,022
Maybe, but that is bullshit,

560
00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:54,457
and the literary magazine
does not print crap.

561
00:20:54,459 --> 00:20:55,791
It's all true.

562
00:20:55,793 --> 00:20:57,559
Ms. Marks called you
for dating advice,

563
00:20:57,561 --> 00:20:59,494
she listed you as her personal
emergency contact,

564
00:20:59,496 --> 00:21:00,729
and she made you touch
her breast?

565
00:21:00,731 --> 00:21:01,930
She thought she had a lump.

566
00:21:01,932 --> 00:21:04,332
Troubling, but still "No."

567
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:06,735
You wasted your suspension
passing this kidney stone.

568
00:21:06,737 --> 00:21:09,571
- And I'm not gonna print it.
- Why?

569
00:21:09,573 --> 00:21:10,839
- Is it too long?
- Nope.

570
00:21:10,841 --> 00:21:11,973
Too short?

571
00:21:11,975 --> 00:21:13,408
- Nope.
- Bad spelling?

572
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:14,509
- Typos?
- Are you still here?

573
00:21:14,511 --> 00:21:15,577
I'm not leaving until

574
00:21:15,579 --> 00:21:19,314
you tell me why
you won't print it.

575
00:21:19,316 --> 00:21:21,149
- Because it's cruel.
- Cruel?

576
00:21:21,151 --> 00:21:22,951
The man had invented
the concept.

577
00:21:22,953 --> 00:21:26,588
You told me to write the truth,
and this is the truth.

578
00:21:26,590 --> 00:21:27,889
You have to put it
in the magazine.

579
00:21:27,891 --> 00:21:29,891
You said
you wouldn't censor us.

580
00:21:29,893 --> 00:21:31,860
What if someone wrote
a piece like this about you,

581
00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,161
pointing out all of your flaws?

582
00:21:33,163 --> 00:21:34,763
If it were true,
then I'd deserve it,

583
00:21:34,765 --> 00:21:36,665
just like she does.

584
00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:38,867
Jenna, words have power,

585
00:21:38,869 --> 00:21:42,237
and that's something that
all writers need to understand.

586
00:21:45,641 --> 00:21:50,245
This book had a huge impact
on my journey as a writer.

587
00:21:50,247 --> 00:21:51,849
Maybe it can do
the same for you.

588
00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:52,800
_

589
00:21:52,816 --> 00:21:54,449
Hart's favorite book.

590
00:21:54,451 --> 00:21:56,184
I couldn't wait to not read it.

591
00:21:56,186 --> 00:21:57,218
As for your piece,

592
00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:58,319
I cannot stop you from

593
00:21:58,321 --> 00:22:01,222
still-birthing it
into the world.

594
00:22:01,224 --> 00:22:04,091
I just want you
to think it over.

595
00:22:04,093 --> 00:22:05,626
Fine.

596
00:22:05,628 --> 00:22:06,994
But I'm not gonna change
my mind.

597
00:22:09,431 --> 00:22:11,733
It felt good to defy authority,

598
00:22:11,735 --> 00:22:14,869
and I could stand by my words
and still look Val in the eye...

599
00:22:18,307 --> 00:22:19,540
for a moment.

600
00:22:23,713 --> 00:22:25,714
[Mideau's Feet To The Sun playing]

601
00:22:25,716 --> 00:22:27,449
♪

602
00:22:27,451 --> 00:22:30,152
Jenna, my girl?

603
00:22:30,154 --> 00:22:32,654
Can we just thaw
our suspension tension?

604
00:22:32,656 --> 00:22:35,991
We both said a lot of things
we probably regret.

605
00:22:35,993 --> 00:22:37,459
- Mostly you said them.
- I don't regret anything.

606
00:22:37,461 --> 00:22:39,795
Live without regret.
That's my motto too.

607
00:22:39,797 --> 00:22:42,130
Let's just end this struggle
with a snuggle.

608
00:22:42,132 --> 00:22:44,132
Let's not.

609
00:22:44,134 --> 00:22:45,400
♪

610
00:22:45,402 --> 00:22:47,235
♪ I'll take the advice ♪

611
00:22:47,237 --> 00:22:48,737
It's cool.

612
00:22:48,739 --> 00:22:51,473
We're still friends.
Friends fight.

613
00:22:51,475 --> 00:22:53,375
It'll only make us stronger!

614
00:22:53,377 --> 00:22:54,743
Want stronger leadership?

615
00:22:54,745 --> 00:22:56,011
Don't be a sucker.

616
00:22:56,013 --> 00:22:58,781
Vote Abby Martin
for Freshman Treasurer.

617
00:22:58,783 --> 00:23:00,515
Do I have food in my braces?

618
00:23:00,517 --> 00:23:02,184
Does my backpack have wheels?

619
00:23:02,186 --> 00:23:04,486
Do I wonder what
a penis feels like?

620
00:23:04,488 --> 00:23:06,455
No!
Why?

621
00:23:06,457 --> 00:23:08,124
'Cause I'm not
a freakin' freshman!

622
00:23:08,126 --> 00:23:10,693
- I'm sorry.
- Yes, we'll take some candy.

623
00:23:10,695 --> 00:23:11,994
Good luck.

624
00:23:11,996 --> 00:23:13,763
[Laughs]
Well played.

625
00:23:13,765 --> 00:23:15,832
But these sweets
are a sour reminder.

626
00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:19,303
ASB elections are next week,
and Jake has done nothing

627
00:23:19,305 --> 00:23:20,771
for his presidential campaign.

628
00:23:20,773 --> 00:23:22,005
Can you secure the Asian vote?

629
00:23:22,007 --> 00:23:23,873
Ooh, are you Jake's
campaign manager?

630
00:23:23,875 --> 00:23:26,876
No, I'm his life manager,
which includes his campaign.

631
00:23:26,878 --> 00:23:29,679
If he's gonna win, he has
to wake the sleeping dragon.

632
00:23:29,681 --> 00:23:32,015
Done!
I say, Asians do.

633
00:23:32,017 --> 00:23:33,984
Can you have them put a hit
out on Jenna's new personality?

634
00:23:33,986 --> 00:23:36,286
Ugh, I just wish
she'd be herself.

635
00:23:36,288 --> 00:23:38,254
Be "Herselves" is more like it.

636
00:23:38,256 --> 00:23:39,856
Maybe she's having
a hard time seeing

637
00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,357
through her pretentious
fake glasses.

638
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,292
[Chuckles]
[Toilet flushes]

639
00:23:48,031 --> 00:23:49,965
I didn't care what
the bitches thought.

640
00:23:52,936 --> 00:23:54,970
I had Collin.

641
00:23:54,972 --> 00:23:57,306
Mr. "Hart-less" won't publish
my essay

642
00:23:57,308 --> 00:23:58,841
because he says it's cruel.

643
00:23:58,843 --> 00:24:00,910
- Can you believe that?
- It is.

644
00:24:00,912 --> 00:24:04,379
But it's also insightful
and controversial,

645
00:24:04,381 --> 00:24:06,215
like all great writing.

646
00:24:07,584 --> 00:24:09,285
Hey, so I'm taking you
out tonight.

647
00:24:09,287 --> 00:24:10,653
My buddy Dave Osokow can get us

648
00:24:10,655 --> 00:24:11,721
into a pop-up club downtown.

649
00:24:11,723 --> 00:24:13,356
Can't.
Still grounded.

650
00:24:13,358 --> 00:24:14,490
- So what?
- I know.

651
00:24:14,492 --> 00:24:15,892
I just can't deal with

652
00:24:15,894 --> 00:24:17,126
my parents' bullshit.

653
00:24:17,128 --> 00:24:22,032
Okay, but can we at least take
the long way home?

654
00:24:22,034 --> 00:24:24,033
Definitely.

655
00:24:24,035 --> 00:24:25,702
Where are your posters?

656
00:24:25,704 --> 00:24:27,837
Your opponent Myles has tons.

657
00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:30,540
Myles needs posters.
He has no brand awareness.

658
00:24:30,542 --> 00:24:33,109
- I don't need posters.
- You're too complacent.

659
00:24:33,111 --> 00:24:36,110
You need to step it up.
No campaign, no gain.

660
00:24:36,243 --> 00:24:38,360
Here is a list of things
that we should be doing.

661
00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:42,578
- "Aggregate polling data."
- Mm-hmm.

662
00:24:42,580 --> 00:24:44,213
What does that even mean?

663
00:24:44,215 --> 00:24:45,813
Look, I know how to win.

664
00:24:45,815 --> 00:24:47,781
I've done it every year
without your list.

665
00:24:50,317 --> 00:24:51,850
[Sighs]
I'm sorry.

666
00:24:51,852 --> 00:24:53,517
How about I come over tonight
and we make posters?

667
00:24:53,519 --> 00:24:56,453
Yes, we'll promote
your platform in puff paint.

668
00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:58,554
Shit! I hope I have enough
puff paint.

669
00:24:58,556 --> 00:25:01,289
Who am I kidding? Of course I do.
[Giggles]

670
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,123
[Sighs]

671
00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:05,558
I'm still shivering
from Jenna's cold shoulder.

672
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,726
Oh, you think it's bad for you?

673
00:25:07,728 --> 00:25:09,660
Imagine living with her.

674
00:25:12,697 --> 00:25:14,697
- Val!
- Huh? What? Sorry.

675
00:25:14,699 --> 00:25:16,265
We need to do something.

676
00:25:16,267 --> 00:25:18,932
If only there was some way
we could intervene.

677
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:20,700
That's it!
An intervention!

678
00:25:20,702 --> 00:25:23,002
But who's gonna lead it?

679
00:25:24,371 --> 00:25:27,372
Don't you do that stuff
for a living?

680
00:25:27,374 --> 00:25:30,141
Not well, L-dog.
Not well.

681
00:25:30,143 --> 00:25:32,710
- We'll need an expert.
- [Sighs]

682
00:25:32,712 --> 00:25:33,811
I know one!

683
00:25:33,813 --> 00:25:36,147
I've been to tons
of these things.

684
00:25:36,149 --> 00:25:37,781
Excellent. Can you walk us
through what to expect?

685
00:25:37,783 --> 00:25:39,616
Mm.

686
00:25:39,618 --> 00:25:42,386
You know, come to think of it,
I really don't remember much.

687
00:25:42,388 --> 00:25:43,987
I was fairly high
when it was happening.

688
00:25:43,989 --> 00:25:45,422
I'm nervous.

689
00:25:45,424 --> 00:25:47,157
I'm gonna need someone else
to go first.

690
00:25:47,159 --> 00:25:48,892
[Gasps]
Can I go first?

691
00:25:48,894 --> 00:25:50,827
I'd love the chance
to tell Jenna

692
00:25:50,829 --> 00:25:52,396
all the different ways
she's been a disappointment.

693
00:25:52,398 --> 00:25:55,833
And don't worry,
I won't hold anything back.

694
00:25:55,835 --> 00:25:57,101
There's no time limit, right?

695
00:25:57,103 --> 00:26:00,036
Maybe you should be
the silent peer presence.

696
00:26:00,038 --> 00:26:01,237
How's your supportive nod?

697
00:26:04,775 --> 00:26:07,577
I've never thrown
an intervention before,

698
00:26:07,579 --> 00:26:09,779
but luckily, Google has.

699
00:26:09,781 --> 00:26:14,183
I hid all the sharp objects,
and I put out plenty of tissues.

700
00:26:14,185 --> 00:26:17,787
And, oh, I almost forgot.
I got munchies.

701
00:26:17,789 --> 00:26:20,123
Ladies, I really should be the
one leading this intervention.

702
00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:23,793
Today alone, I got two people
to stop drinking.

703
00:26:23,795 --> 00:26:25,194
And only three or four
to start.

704
00:26:25,196 --> 00:26:27,563
If any of you knew anything
about anything,

705
00:26:27,565 --> 00:26:28,965
you'd know
that my Twitter feed,

706
00:26:28,967 --> 00:26:31,601
@yourharshtruth, is blowing up.

707
00:26:31,603 --> 00:26:34,304
People can't get enough
of my unfiltered advice.

708
00:26:34,306 --> 00:26:37,708
- Someone wants your advice?
- Yes.

709
00:26:37,710 --> 00:26:39,576
And here's a tip for free--

710
00:26:39,578 --> 00:26:41,545
that top comes
in your size too.

711
00:26:41,547 --> 00:26:43,847
We already know
your boobs are huge.

712
00:26:43,849 --> 00:26:45,615
Why is she here again?

713
00:26:45,617 --> 00:26:46,817
You wanted a peer presence,

714
00:26:46,819 --> 00:26:48,018
and lil bitch has no friends.

715
00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:50,554
Right.

716
00:26:50,556 --> 00:26:51,655
Okay, here she comes.

717
00:26:51,657 --> 00:26:54,391
- Places, everybody!
- Oh! Oh!

718
00:26:55,459 --> 00:26:56,793
- [Sighs]
- Oh, God.

719
00:26:56,795 --> 00:26:57,894
Act natural.

720
00:27:00,932 --> 00:27:02,566
What's going on here?

721
00:27:02,568 --> 00:27:06,236
Oh!
They just dropped by...

722
00:27:06,238 --> 00:27:08,638
- unexpectedly.
- Oops.

723
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,073
Why don't you
come chat with us?

724
00:27:10,075 --> 00:27:15,211
Yes, come sit in this
semicircle of furniture,

725
00:27:15,213 --> 00:27:17,147
where we can all
see each other clearly

726
00:27:17,149 --> 00:27:18,748
and feel encouraged to share.

727
00:27:30,995 --> 00:27:32,996
- So...
- So...

728
00:27:32,998 --> 00:27:36,465
So...

729
00:27:36,467 --> 00:27:37,566
[Sighs]

730
00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:40,036
Lil bitch, this is
your intervention, unh.

731
00:27:40,038 --> 00:27:41,771
- What?
- What?

732
00:27:41,773 --> 00:27:43,105
I-I think we were supposed to

733
00:27:43,107 --> 00:27:45,241
build to the issue
in a gentle way.

734
00:27:45,243 --> 00:27:47,409
Yes.
Let me explain.

735
00:27:47,411 --> 00:27:50,413
Jenna, you have a problem.

736
00:27:50,415 --> 00:27:52,014
You're an asshole.

737
00:27:52,016 --> 00:27:54,250
Yet again,
the gentle intent was lost.

738
00:27:54,252 --> 00:27:57,620
Honey, we're just worried
about you.

739
00:27:57,622 --> 00:28:00,589
You've been distant and...

740
00:28:00,591 --> 00:28:01,757
Irritable.

741
00:28:01,759 --> 00:28:03,258
You've lost all your friends.

742
00:28:03,260 --> 00:28:06,695
You could use
a good hair scrub.

743
00:28:06,697 --> 00:28:08,997
Wow.

744
00:28:08,999 --> 00:28:10,065
I'm touched.

745
00:28:10,067 --> 00:28:13,502
I so appreciate your concern.

746
00:28:13,504 --> 00:28:14,569
Thank you, mom.

747
00:28:14,571 --> 00:28:16,504
I really needed
this wake-up call.

748
00:28:16,506 --> 00:28:19,274
I mean, uh, actually,
it was-- it was my idea.

749
00:28:19,276 --> 00:28:20,975
Of course.

750
00:28:20,977 --> 00:28:22,910
- Can I say something?
- Mm-hmm.

751
00:28:24,813 --> 00:28:27,215
You're all a bunch
of hypocrites.

752
00:28:27,217 --> 00:28:29,785
So fuck off!

753
00:28:34,526 --> 00:28:37,194
My accusers were two losers,
one user, and an abuser.

754
00:28:37,196 --> 00:28:39,197
They were the last people
I would listen to,

755
00:28:39,199 --> 00:28:41,566
and I was sick and tired
of people telling me

756
00:28:41,568 --> 00:28:42,767
what I should and shouldn't do.

757
00:28:42,769 --> 00:28:44,202
I was gonna do what I wanted,

758
00:28:44,204 --> 00:28:46,504
when I wanted,
and with whom I wanted.

759
00:28:46,506 --> 00:28:47,906
No one was gonna stop me.
[Computer chirps]

760
00:28:47,908 --> 00:28:50,174
♪ Singing till
the sun comes up ♪

761
00:28:50,176 --> 00:28:52,810
_

762
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,448
Valerie thought
I needed a wake-up call?

763
00:28:58,851 --> 00:29:01,185
But in reality,
she was about to get one.

764
00:29:03,646 --> 00:29:06,019
_

765
00:29:06,226 --> 00:29:08,626
♪ You ain't getting
ahold of me ♪

766
00:29:08,628 --> 00:29:11,228
Honey?

767
00:29:11,230 --> 00:29:12,830
I-I--

768
00:29:12,832 --> 00:29:14,866
♪ I can't believe
you're serious ♪

769
00:29:14,868 --> 00:29:16,667
Damn it!
We didn't secure the perimeter.

770
00:29:16,669 --> 00:29:17,735
♪ Short tail, long legs ♪

771
00:29:17,737 --> 00:29:18,736
Can we drink now?

772
00:29:18,738 --> 00:29:20,405
- [Sighs] Yes.
- Yes!

773
00:29:23,876 --> 00:29:25,076
I didn't know when
the sisterhood

774
00:29:25,078 --> 00:29:26,811
of the blathering skanks
would be back,

775
00:29:26,813 --> 00:29:29,951
and I wasn't gonna stick around
to find out.

776
00:29:29,986 --> 00:29:30,648
♪ Dragging behind me ♪

777
00:29:30,650 --> 00:29:33,351
♪ torn sails whipping
in the cold dark sea ♪

778
00:29:33,353 --> 00:29:35,019
Hey.
Count me in for tonight.

779
00:29:35,021 --> 00:29:37,421
♪ You ain't getting
ahold of me ♪

780
00:29:37,423 --> 00:29:39,056
Holy crap!

781
00:29:39,058 --> 00:29:40,825
I've selected different colors
based on

782
00:29:40,827 --> 00:29:43,094
which hallways they'll hang in,
and I've cross-referenced them

783
00:29:43,096 --> 00:29:45,330
with my election week outfits.

784
00:29:45,332 --> 00:29:48,099
This, Candidate Rosati,

785
00:29:48,101 --> 00:29:50,868
is your prototype
"Poster with the moster."

786
00:29:50,870 --> 00:29:52,303
That is awesome.

787
00:29:52,305 --> 00:29:53,571
- Told you so.
- You did.

788
00:29:53,573 --> 00:29:55,706
You can totally make
all my posters.

789
00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:57,908
Uh, I can make your posters?

790
00:29:57,910 --> 00:29:59,076
- Yeah.
- Jake!

791
00:29:59,078 --> 00:30:02,847
This is not a free ride,
this is a "We" ride.

792
00:30:02,849 --> 00:30:04,615
We're doing this together.

793
00:30:04,617 --> 00:30:07,385
You need to make posters
so that you can shine through.

794
00:30:07,387 --> 00:30:08,819
Okay, pass me a marker.

795
00:30:08,821 --> 00:30:10,020
- Which color?
- Whatever.

796
00:30:21,532 --> 00:30:24,634
Okay!

797
00:30:24,636 --> 00:30:26,002
One down.

798
00:30:26,004 --> 00:30:27,671
"Jake 4 Prez"?

799
00:30:27,673 --> 00:30:29,005
This isn't a text!

800
00:30:29,007 --> 00:30:30,273
Flesh it out.

801
00:30:30,275 --> 00:30:32,275
You have to take a stand
on issues,

802
00:30:32,277 --> 00:30:35,011
like the sale
of flaming hot Cheetos.

803
00:30:35,013 --> 00:30:37,781
Do you favor the flavor,
or spurn the burn?

804
00:30:37,783 --> 00:30:39,115
- You can't be apathetic.
- Okay.

805
00:30:39,117 --> 00:30:41,851
Fine.
Hand me another poster board.

806
00:30:41,853 --> 00:30:45,655
- Mm-hmm.
- And this time, the, uh...

807
00:30:45,657 --> 00:30:48,691
green marker, please.

808
00:30:55,999 --> 00:30:58,902
Let me get you a plate.

809
00:30:58,904 --> 00:31:00,937
I'm going out.

810
00:31:00,939 --> 00:31:04,240
Uh, no, you're not.
You're grounded.

811
00:31:04,242 --> 00:31:05,575
Which means what, exactly?

812
00:31:05,577 --> 00:31:08,745
Because as far as I see it,
I'm about to leave.

813
00:31:08,747 --> 00:31:10,714
Okay, you are out of control,

814
00:31:10,716 --> 00:31:12,482
and you're ruining your life.

815
00:31:12,484 --> 00:31:15,585
No, you're ruining my life,
just like you ruined yours.

816
00:31:15,587 --> 00:31:17,387
You know what?
You don't even have a life.

817
00:31:17,389 --> 00:31:20,090
The only job you've had
for 17 years is being a mom,

818
00:31:20,092 --> 00:31:21,759
and you suck at it!

819
00:31:21,761 --> 00:31:23,394
Do not talk to your mom
that way.

820
00:31:23,396 --> 00:31:24,962
Why not?

821
00:31:24,964 --> 00:31:27,665
Are you gonna give her
the wake-up call she needs?

822
00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:30,901
- If you leave--
- What?

823
00:31:32,771 --> 00:31:35,472
Don't come back.

824
00:31:35,474 --> 00:31:38,008
- Lace--
- No, Kevin.

825
00:31:38,010 --> 00:31:40,678
Don't come back.

826
00:31:48,021 --> 00:31:51,023
[Dance music]

827
00:31:51,025 --> 00:31:54,693
♪ ♪

828
00:31:54,695 --> 00:31:56,495
Far cry from Palos Verdes, huh?

829
00:31:56,497 --> 00:31:57,562
It was.

830
00:31:57,564 --> 00:31:59,398
The pop-up club had popped up

831
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,599
at the perfect time.

832
00:32:00,601 --> 00:32:02,868
There was no place
like away from home.

833
00:32:08,308 --> 00:32:10,709
You made it!

834
00:32:10,711 --> 00:32:14,079
And you made it too.

835
00:32:14,081 --> 00:32:16,014
Hold on.
I think I hate that girl.

836
00:32:20,919 --> 00:32:22,753
So random running
into Angelique here.

837
00:32:22,755 --> 00:32:25,990
Actually, I invited her.
Is that cool?

838
00:32:25,992 --> 00:32:28,592
I was with the coolest guy
at the coolest club in town.

839
00:32:28,594 --> 00:32:30,294
How could I not
be cool with it?

840
00:32:30,296 --> 00:32:32,063
Of course.

841
00:32:32,065 --> 00:32:34,699
Jenna spoke the truth.

842
00:32:34,701 --> 00:32:36,568
I'm a terrible mom.

843
00:32:36,570 --> 00:32:40,471
I failed her,
and then I drove her away.

844
00:32:40,473 --> 00:32:41,572
I have to fix this.

845
00:32:41,574 --> 00:32:43,507
I have to tell her
she can come home.

846
00:32:45,544 --> 00:32:48,278
- No!
- Wha--

847
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,680
- No?
- No!

848
00:32:49,682 --> 00:32:52,616
Lace, you showed her
the tough love she deserves.

849
00:32:52,618 --> 00:32:54,118
But maybe I was too tough.

850
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,119
Frankly, I don't think
you were tough enough.

851
00:32:56,121 --> 00:32:59,890
If she wants to be independent,
she can learn the hard way,

852
00:32:59,892 --> 00:33:02,759
on the streets, alone...

853
00:33:02,761 --> 00:33:05,396
with thugs...

854
00:33:05,398 --> 00:33:07,664
and rapists.

855
00:33:07,666 --> 00:33:09,966
Oh, God, our baby.

856
00:33:09,968 --> 00:33:11,768
- No!
- [Grunts]

857
00:33:11,770 --> 00:33:14,938
- Don't break!
- But she needs her daddy!

858
00:33:14,940 --> 00:33:15,940
[Panting]

859
00:33:15,942 --> 00:33:17,875
I think you just broke
your phone.

860
00:33:17,877 --> 00:33:20,678
That was my phone.

861
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,347
Well, good.

862
00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:25,683
Because we can't let her
manipulate us.

863
00:33:25,685 --> 00:33:27,618
We have to stay strong.

864
00:33:27,620 --> 00:33:29,553
- It is time for tough love.
- I can't.

865
00:33:29,555 --> 00:33:30,654
- You can.
- I don't want to.

866
00:33:30,656 --> 00:33:32,489
That's why it's tough.

867
00:33:32,491 --> 00:33:34,225
Okay.
You're right.

868
00:33:34,227 --> 00:33:36,193
Let's just hope,
wherever she is,

869
00:33:36,195 --> 00:33:37,662
Jenna is making good choices.

870
00:33:37,664 --> 00:33:39,997
- ♪ My fire is wild ♪
- Brain Eraser, or Gut Rot?

871
00:33:39,999 --> 00:33:43,268
- Brain Eraser.
- Gut Rot.

872
00:33:43,270 --> 00:33:46,537
- Whoo!
- ♪ My rage is deep ♪

873
00:33:46,539 --> 00:33:47,705
[Cheers and applause]

874
00:33:47,707 --> 00:33:49,941
Yeah!
All right!

875
00:33:49,943 --> 00:33:52,077
♪ One black eye ♪

876
00:33:52,079 --> 00:33:54,012
Yeah, all right!

877
00:33:54,014 --> 00:33:56,581
- Taking it to the next level.
- ♪ Busted teeth ♪

878
00:33:56,583 --> 00:33:59,985
Speaking of next level.

879
00:33:59,987 --> 00:34:01,119
[Gasps]
Ooh!

880
00:34:01,121 --> 00:34:03,888
Either Angelique really liked
candy, or--

881
00:34:03,890 --> 00:34:05,390
Tonight's festivities
are brought to you

882
00:34:05,392 --> 00:34:07,692
by the letter X.

883
00:34:07,694 --> 00:34:09,094
♪ You really light me up ♪

884
00:34:09,096 --> 00:34:11,563
In the moment,
I didn't know if my mind

885
00:34:11,565 --> 00:34:12,831
could take any more expanding,

886
00:34:12,833 --> 00:34:15,000
so I blamed it on my bladder.

887
00:34:15,002 --> 00:34:19,571
I need to use the bathroom.
Be right back.

888
00:34:19,573 --> 00:34:22,841
- ♪ You really light me up ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

889
00:34:22,843 --> 00:34:25,777
[Muffled music]

890
00:34:28,781 --> 00:34:30,715
Bathroom line shots!

891
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,587
Sorry I ran away.

892
00:34:35,589 --> 00:34:37,723
You ran away?

893
00:34:37,725 --> 00:34:40,225
- Wasn't it obvious?
- [Laughs] Yeah.

894
00:34:40,227 --> 00:34:44,997
I just didn't feel ready to
try ecstasy for the first time.

895
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:47,299
Oh, no.
I feel awful.

896
00:34:47,301 --> 00:34:49,235
What?
No, it's fine.

897
00:34:49,237 --> 00:34:51,204
Why would you feel bad?

898
00:34:51,206 --> 00:34:52,605
I put the E in your drink.

899
00:35:00,507 --> 00:35:02,776
[Dance music]

900
00:35:02,778 --> 00:35:04,210
I was through the looking glass

901
00:35:04,212 --> 00:35:06,346
and apparently down
the "Grab it" hole,

902
00:35:06,348 --> 00:35:08,848
and the ecstasy was definitely
having an effect...

903
00:35:08,850 --> 00:35:10,517
on Collin and Angelique.

904
00:35:10,519 --> 00:35:11,618
I, on the other hand,

905
00:35:11,620 --> 00:35:13,153
was way too freaked out
to be blissed out.

906
00:35:13,155 --> 00:35:16,323
Hey, feel this.
It's amazing.

907
00:35:16,325 --> 00:35:18,725
Oh, amazing.

908
00:35:18,727 --> 00:35:20,360
Here, Jenna, you gotta feel.

909
00:35:20,362 --> 00:35:22,763
Yeah, it's amazing.

910
00:35:22,765 --> 00:35:24,064
It wasn't amazing.

911
00:35:24,066 --> 00:35:26,000
I love you guys.

912
00:35:29,637 --> 00:35:33,574
Um, shouldn't we do this
somewhere in private?

913
00:35:33,576 --> 00:35:35,843
Oh, no, she's cool,
you're cool, right, Ang?

914
00:35:35,845 --> 00:35:37,778
Yeah.
I'm totally cool.

915
00:35:42,017 --> 00:35:43,551
Okay.

916
00:35:43,553 --> 00:35:45,819
Angelique was definitely cool,

917
00:35:45,821 --> 00:35:47,755
and not afraid of beard burn...

918
00:35:50,826 --> 00:35:52,760
or boundaries.

919
00:35:54,563 --> 00:35:55,629
Jake!

920
00:35:55,631 --> 00:35:57,198
You need to push
your boundaries!

921
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,200
Get out of your comfort zone!

922
00:35:59,202 --> 00:36:01,769
Go Don Draper on this paper.

923
00:36:01,771 --> 00:36:03,404
Take the time to make it rhyme.

924
00:36:03,406 --> 00:36:04,972
Don't be bitter,
add more glitter!

925
00:36:04,974 --> 00:36:06,640
- Stop it!
- Rhyming?

926
00:36:06,642 --> 00:36:08,142
No, telling me what to do!

927
00:36:08,144 --> 00:36:10,410
- You're suffocating me.
- I'm trying to help you.

928
00:36:10,412 --> 00:36:11,578
No, you're trying to turn me

929
00:36:11,580 --> 00:36:13,113
into the prototype
of a perfect boyfriend.

930
00:36:13,115 --> 00:36:16,817
And I try, and I try everything
that you say,

931
00:36:16,819 --> 00:36:18,252
but you still have
more criticism.

932
00:36:18,254 --> 00:36:21,221
I'm sorry that I want us
to work on our relationship.

933
00:36:21,223 --> 00:36:23,957
"Us"?
I do all the work.

934
00:36:23,959 --> 00:36:25,993
You don't think I work
to be a good girlfriend?

935
00:36:25,995 --> 00:36:27,895
I just made you 20 posters!

936
00:36:27,897 --> 00:36:29,396
That I didn't ask for!

937
00:36:29,398 --> 00:36:31,332
You think you know better
about everything.

938
00:36:31,334 --> 00:36:35,536
Well, this is the one thing that
I know how to do, and you don't.

939
00:36:35,538 --> 00:36:37,071
You would make
the worst president ever.

940
00:36:37,073 --> 00:36:38,606
I don't need rhyming slogans

941
00:36:38,608 --> 00:36:41,609
or glitter or to dot
my "I" s with little stars.

942
00:36:41,611 --> 00:36:45,079
I can write anything
on my posters and still win!

943
00:36:45,081 --> 00:36:46,881
Oh, yeah?

944
00:36:48,917 --> 00:36:52,286
Could you write this? _

945
00:36:52,288 --> 00:36:54,221
You wouldn't dare.

946
00:36:54,223 --> 00:36:57,558
Oh, wouldn't I?

947
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,894
Put that glitter down.

948
00:37:06,501 --> 00:37:09,870
[Club music]

949
00:37:09,872 --> 00:37:12,139
So there was an excess caress.

950
00:37:12,141 --> 00:37:13,240
It was okay.

951
00:37:13,242 --> 00:37:16,176
It wasn't like I was in
a threesome.

952
00:37:16,178 --> 00:37:19,346
And she had to put
her hand somewhere.

953
00:37:19,348 --> 00:37:21,282
It definitely didn't mean
I was in a threesome.

954
00:37:22,984 --> 00:37:25,186
Or I was in a threesome.

955
00:37:25,188 --> 00:37:27,021
I'm not comfortable.

956
00:37:27,023 --> 00:37:28,723
- Take off your jacket.
- I'll help you.

957
00:37:28,725 --> 00:37:31,659
No. No.

958
00:37:31,661 --> 00:37:33,661
I need to go home.
Right now.

959
00:37:33,663 --> 00:37:37,031
Oh.
Okay.

960
00:37:37,033 --> 00:37:39,400
See ya.

961
00:37:39,402 --> 00:37:42,036
[Both moaning]

962
00:37:42,038 --> 00:37:46,307
I may have been high,
but I'd never felt so low.

963
00:37:46,309 --> 00:37:48,175
I was scared, alone,

964
00:37:48,177 --> 00:37:52,013
and my lack of cash or credit
matched my lack of options.

965
00:37:52,015 --> 00:37:53,781
I had to call someone.

966
00:37:53,783 --> 00:37:56,016
♪ It starts turning it on ♪

967
00:37:56,018 --> 00:37:58,419
Not my parents...

968
00:37:58,421 --> 00:37:59,420
♪ This is it ♪

969
00:37:59,422 --> 00:38:02,289
Or my friends.

970
00:38:02,291 --> 00:38:06,093
There was only one last resort,
and I was desperate.

971
00:38:06,095 --> 00:38:08,129
♪ Not shutting off ♪

972
00:38:08,131 --> 00:38:09,997
[Line ringing]

973
00:38:09,999 --> 00:38:12,232
Hey, it's me.

974
00:38:12,234 --> 00:38:13,967
Can you come pick me up?

975
00:38:13,969 --> 00:38:18,472
♪ The sun is moving in ♪

976
00:38:18,474 --> 00:38:24,411
♪

977
00:38:26,770 --> 00:38:29,772
[Ambient electronic music]

978
00:38:29,774 --> 00:38:31,740
♪ ♪

979
00:38:31,742 --> 00:38:33,175
[Sighs]

980
00:38:33,177 --> 00:38:37,613
Do you need me to stop and get
you some water or something?

981
00:38:37,615 --> 00:38:39,615
I'm okay.

982
00:38:39,617 --> 00:38:47,557
♪

983
00:38:54,098 --> 00:38:57,133
It's just an earring.

984
00:38:57,135 --> 00:38:59,436
But it's not mine.

985
00:38:59,438 --> 00:39:03,039
♪ Almost like a dream ♪

986
00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:06,076
♪

987
00:39:06,078 --> 00:39:08,678
♪ Almost like a dream ♪

988
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:13,516
♪

989
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:17,654
[Crying]

990
00:39:17,656 --> 00:39:20,457
♪ And nothing's closing in ♪

991
00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:28,398
♪

992
00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:31,201
[Sighs]

993
00:39:35,973 --> 00:39:38,608
Is there anything else
you need me to do?

994
00:39:40,912 --> 00:39:42,846
Can you hold me?

995
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:46,483
[Softly]
Yeah.

996
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,790
Thank you for being my hero.

997
00:39:53,792 --> 00:39:56,326
[Soft music]

998
00:39:56,328 --> 00:39:58,762
That's all I ever wanted to be.

999
00:39:58,764 --> 00:40:06,536
♪

1000
00:40:06,538 --> 00:40:08,338
[Engine turns over]

1001
00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:16,579
♪

1002
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:19,748
♪ And we were ♪

1003
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:24,086
♪ always dreaming ♪

1004
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:27,790
♪ of the day ♪

1005
00:40:27,792 --> 00:40:30,292
♪ that would never come ♪

1006
00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:34,195
- Next on Awkward...
- Hey, guys!

1007
00:40:34,197 --> 00:40:35,363
- Hey.
- Hi.

1008
00:40:35,365 --> 00:40:36,731
During my sanity sabbatical,

1009
00:40:36,733 --> 00:40:39,334
I wrote a mean essay about Val
for the lit magazine.

1010
00:40:39,336 --> 00:40:41,370
Don't worry, people only read
the Experior

1011
00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:42,571
for the sex stories.

1012
00:40:42,573 --> 00:40:44,039
Nobody's gonna bother
with your essay.

1013
00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:46,642
Your essay is awesome!

1014
00:40:46,644 --> 00:40:48,077
That's why you're sorry?

1015
00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:49,746
Is there something else
I should be apologizing for?

1016
00:40:49,748 --> 00:40:51,681
Did you sleep with Angelique?

1017
00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:52,700
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

