1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,613
Dads is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:09,033
You ready to go
again, handsome?
3
00:00:09,034 --> 00:00:11,468
Well, I wasn't until
you called me "handsome."
4
00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:30,788
Oh.
5
00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:32,990
Didn't realize
you had company.
6
00:00:33,024 --> 00:00:34,091
Hi.
7
00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:35,659
Um,
8
00:00:35,694 --> 00:00:37,094
Dad, this is Sarah.
9
00:00:37,095 --> 00:00:39,196
Sarah... my dad.
10
00:00:39,197 --> 00:00:40,564
Nice to meet you.
11
00:00:40,599 --> 00:00:41,932
Are you pregnant?
12
00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:43,267
No.
13
00:00:43,301 --> 00:00:44,702
Then I don't
need to meet you.
14
00:00:44,736 --> 00:00:48,739
You know, maybe
I should get dressed.
15
00:00:48,773 --> 00:00:51,241
Yeah, I was lying about being
able to go again anyway.
16
00:00:53,244 --> 00:00:54,411
What are you doing? I thought
17
00:00:54,412 --> 00:00:55,613
you were gonna give me
the apartment tonight.
18
00:00:55,647 --> 00:00:57,648
Why are you
always surprised
19
00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,083
when I disappoint you?
20
00:00:59,117 --> 00:01:01,251
Eli, can you call me a cab?
21
00:01:01,286 --> 00:01:03,053
Sure.
22
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:04,855
What?!
23
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,491
A beautiful woman comes over,
gives you her body,
24
00:01:07,492 --> 00:01:10,861
and it doesn't even occur
to you to drive her home?
25
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,231
I've taught you well.
26
00:01:17,802 --> 00:01:20,904
♪ Daddy took me to the zoo
27
00:01:20,939 --> 00:01:22,940
♪ Na, na, na, na ♪
28
00:01:22,974 --> 00:01:26,944
♪ Just to see
something brand-new ♪
29
00:01:26,978 --> 00:01:28,979
♪ Na, na, na ♪
30
00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:33,217
♪ So many stars up in the sky
31
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:37,688
♪ So many questions have I
32
00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:39,790
♪ Na, na, na, na ♪
33
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♪ Daddy took me for a ride.
34
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Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
35
00:01:46,631 --> 00:01:48,599
Hey.
Hey.
36
00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,334
How did it go last night
with your latest fling?
37
00:01:50,368 --> 00:01:51,702
Oh, it's over.
38
00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:53,904
She brought up horoscopes.
39
00:01:53,938 --> 00:01:56,106
You're unbelievable.
40
00:01:56,107 --> 00:01:58,275
She just took you
on a weekend trip
41
00:01:58,276 --> 00:02:00,244
to wine country
for your birthday.
42
00:02:00,278 --> 00:02:03,247
I know, and then,
she brought up horoscopes.
43
00:02:03,281 --> 00:02:05,516
You don't have a caring
bone in your body.
44
00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:06,817
Yes, I do.
45
00:02:06,818 --> 00:02:09,920
My bone cared for her
twice last night.
46
00:02:11,956 --> 00:02:14,825
And a bendy third time.
47
00:02:14,859 --> 00:02:16,860
You only care about your needs.
48
00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:19,630
Well, of course.
I'm a Sagittarius.
49
00:02:19,664 --> 00:02:21,632
God, you are such a...
50
00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:22,966
...pig.
51
00:02:23,001 --> 00:02:26,103
Uh, did somebody just cough?
52
00:02:27,405 --> 00:02:29,373
If you're sick,
you have to go home.
53
00:02:29,374 --> 00:02:32,009
We-we can't have disease
in the office.
54
00:02:32,043 --> 00:02:33,343
Warner, I'm fine.
55
00:02:33,344 --> 00:02:35,012
Asians never get sick.
56
00:02:36,181 --> 00:02:38,882
We fight it off
with gross soups.
57
00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:41,452
Okay, well, I'm serious.
I-I can't deal with it.
58
00:02:41,486 --> 00:02:42,953
Sorry.
59
00:02:42,987 --> 00:02:44,621
Yeah, you know
Warner's a crazy germaphobe.
60
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:46,457
Even the word "vomit"
makes him dry heave.
61
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,025
Watch this. Vomit.
62
00:02:48,059 --> 00:02:49,993
Don't...
Vomit.
63
00:02:50,028 --> 00:02:51,261
Vomit.
Don't.
64
00:02:51,262 --> 00:02:52,396
Warm, chunky vomit.
65
00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:55,399
Oh, you can see the tomatoes
in the vomit.
66
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:56,667
Okay.
67
00:02:56,701 --> 00:02:58,569
Oh, you can smell
the parmesan in the vomit.
68
00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:02,072
August Dumpster-juice vomit!
69
00:03:08,113 --> 00:03:08,979
Okay, that's it.
70
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,681
You gotta go.
71
00:03:10,682 --> 00:03:12,750
No. I'm not sick.
72
00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:15,419
Yes, you are, and you're
contaminating the whole office.
73
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:17,855
I just need
to lie down for a minute.
74
00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,923
Oh, that's a great idea... you
can go to my bed; I'll take you.
75
00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:21,625
Aah!
76
00:03:21,626 --> 00:03:23,527
I am never getting in your bed.
77
00:03:23,528 --> 00:03:26,697
That's where
cheerleaders go to die.
78
00:03:26,731 --> 00:03:28,031
Well, I would offer you
the couch,
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00:03:28,032 --> 00:03:29,533
but my dad is fused with it.
80
00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:31,502
And he's
more couch now than man.
81
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,238
Twisted and evil.
82
00:03:34,272 --> 00:03:35,205
Obi-Wan.
83
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,607
Right.
84
00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:38,075
Nice. Now get her out of here.
85
00:03:38,109 --> 00:03:40,544
Okay. Okay, fine, I'll go, but...
86
00:03:40,578 --> 00:03:41,945
you can't pretend
to be nice to me
87
00:03:41,946 --> 00:03:43,447
and hope I'll hook up with you
when I get better.
88
00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:45,516
What?!
89
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:48,552
How little you think of me.
90
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:50,287
You're so going
to pretend to be nice to her.
91
00:03:50,321 --> 00:03:52,156
Of course I am.
92
00:03:52,157 --> 00:03:53,724
You're never gonna
pull it off.
93
00:03:53,725 --> 00:03:55,125
Really?
Yeah.
94
00:03:55,126 --> 00:03:57,461
Oh. Hey, how are
your kids doing?
95
00:03:57,495 --> 00:03:59,830
Okay. Yeah, the little one's
got an ear infection,
96
00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:02,065
but, uh, Alden's in charge
of the class turtle.
97
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,634
Aw.
Yeah.
98
00:04:03,668 --> 00:04:05,369
You don't care about any
of that, do you.
99
00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,504
No, but you believed I did,
100
00:04:07,505 --> 00:04:09,306
and in that window,
I could've grabbed
101
00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:11,341
your boobs. Ah-ooh!
102
00:04:14,412 --> 00:04:17,047
Sorry the elevator's out,
and you have to carry me.
103
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,682
I hope I'm
not too heavy.
104
00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:20,684
No, no, no, you're...
105
00:04:20,685 --> 00:04:22,953
light as a... as a feather.
106
00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:25,689
Where do all those noodles even go?
107
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,592
Well, we're almost there.
108
00:04:28,626 --> 00:04:31,328
Oh, wait... I forgot my jacket.
109
00:04:31,362 --> 00:04:33,096
Seriously?
110
00:04:33,131 --> 00:04:35,465
I need it.
111
00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:39,102
Okay. Okay.
112
00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:41,104
Yeah.
113
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:44,808
I can't wait to lie down.
114
00:04:44,809 --> 00:04:47,511
I'm so tired.
115
00:04:47,545 --> 00:04:49,546
Oh, you're tired?
116
00:04:49,547 --> 00:04:52,950
I'm just gonna put you down
for just a second so I can...
117
00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:56,787
Just until my eyesight returns.
118
00:04:58,156 --> 00:05:00,157
Oh!
119
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,831
Oh! Oh, we made it. Yeah.
120
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:09,833
- Attention!
- Attention!
121
00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:11,568
An alarm has been activated.
122
00:05:11,569 --> 00:05:14,037
Please exit the building
immediately!
123
00:05:14,038 --> 00:05:16,039
Attention! Attention!
124
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,041
An alarm has been activated.
125
00:05:18,042 --> 00:05:20,110
Please exit the building
immediately!
126
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,112
Okay.
127
00:05:39,497 --> 00:05:41,265
Oh.
128
00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,767
You didn't tell me you were
bringing home Chinese.
129
00:05:56,209 --> 00:05:58,210
Dad, what are you doing?
130
00:05:58,211 --> 00:06:01,079
Packing. I can't
be around her.
131
00:06:02,649 --> 00:06:06,518
At my age, I've got
one cold left in me.
132
00:06:06,519 --> 00:06:09,354
Come on, you're exaggerating.
133
00:06:09,389 --> 00:06:11,623
No. Magic Johnson's
immune system
134
00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:13,692
could beat mine, one-on-one.
135
00:06:15,328 --> 00:06:18,964
Oh, my God, I have a whole list
of work I have to do today.
136
00:06:18,998 --> 00:06:21,333
It's okay. Edna do.
137
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:23,802
See that? It's okay. Edna do. Oh.
138
00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:26,872
Thank you, Mr. Eli.
139
00:06:26,906 --> 00:06:30,976
It's my dream to be
a real American businesswoman!
140
00:06:33,046 --> 00:06:34,213
Ooh.
141
00:06:34,247 --> 00:06:36,181
Uh, why aren't you going
to the office?
142
00:06:36,216 --> 00:06:37,349
I on break.
143
00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:44,857
Okay, first on the list.
144
00:06:44,891 --> 00:06:46,925
Who is Tom?
145
00:06:46,926 --> 00:06:48,927
You're fired.
146
00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:52,564
Okay, who Jamie?
147
00:06:52,565 --> 00:06:54,132
Too bad.
148
00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:55,467
Jamie get raise.
149
00:06:57,237 --> 00:06:59,571
No raise. You fired.
150
00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:01,273
Check.
151
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:06,812
Warner, what
are you doing?
152
00:07:06,813 --> 00:07:08,113
I'm, uh,
153
00:07:08,147 --> 00:07:11,583
disinfecting Veronica's desk
with this UV light.
154
00:07:11,618 --> 00:07:12,918
Does that even work?
155
00:07:12,952 --> 00:07:14,953
Oh, yeah.
These things are amazing.
156
00:07:14,954 --> 00:07:17,723
It even lights up semen.
157
00:07:17,757 --> 00:07:19,224
Hey, gang.
158
00:07:32,639 --> 00:07:35,941
If you guys are done with these,
you have to put them away.
159
00:07:35,975 --> 00:07:39,912
But we're still playing.
160
00:07:39,913 --> 00:07:44,249
You can't possibly be playing
all of these games.
161
00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:45,584
Not true.
162
00:07:45,585 --> 00:07:47,486
We're like those
genius homeless guys
163
00:07:47,487 --> 00:07:51,089
that can play ten
games of chess at once.
164
00:07:51,124 --> 00:07:54,593
Well, someone has
to put them away.
165
00:07:54,594 --> 00:07:56,728
I don't live here.
166
00:07:56,729 --> 00:07:58,830
Oh, my back!
167
00:07:58,831 --> 00:08:00,632
Fine. Whatever.
I'll deal with it later.
168
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,734
I just... I want
to watch Dr. Phil.
169
00:08:02,735 --> 00:08:04,436
I don't trust bald doctors.
170
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,805
If you're so smart,
why are you bald?
171
00:08:06,839 --> 00:08:11,677
Fine. Okay, what about
that show Girls?
172
00:08:11,711 --> 00:08:14,313
Hey, I'm trying to get
erections, not lose them.
173
00:08:14,314 --> 00:08:17,316
Okay, gotta get...
I'm just gonna...
174
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,452
I'm home!
175
00:08:20,486 --> 00:08:21,987
Oh, there she is!
176
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:25,724
Oh, my God, what happened?!
177
00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:26,758
Oh, don't look at me!
178
00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:27,993
You're supposed to be pretty!
179
00:08:28,027 --> 00:08:29,294
I can't help it!
180
00:08:29,329 --> 00:08:31,663
You look like what Lady Gaga
probably looks like!
181
00:08:31,698 --> 00:08:32,931
I know! I'll leave!
182
00:08:32,966 --> 00:08:34,166
I'll just get the...
183
00:08:35,335 --> 00:08:37,102
I-I... I don't know where...
184
00:08:41,407 --> 00:08:43,408
Uh...
185
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:46,678
I'm sorry.
186
00:08:46,713 --> 00:08:48,814
I didn't mean to yell.
187
00:08:48,815 --> 00:08:51,717
It's just, I've
never seen you...
188
00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:53,318
Ugly?
189
00:08:53,353 --> 00:08:55,821
No. Stop it.
You're not ugly.
190
00:08:55,822 --> 00:08:59,758
I was gonna say, more like...
unattractive.
191
00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:01,326
Thanks.
192
00:09:01,361 --> 00:09:02,761
No, it's just...
I've never...
193
00:09:02,762 --> 00:09:04,496
I mean, I've
never seen you...
194
00:09:04,497 --> 00:09:06,298
not perfect before.
195
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:09,267
It's not so bad.
196
00:09:09,268 --> 00:09:11,269
Once your eyes adjust.
197
00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:15,007
So I can stay?
198
00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:16,675
Yeah, you can stay.
199
00:09:16,676 --> 00:09:18,677
Thanks.
200
00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:23,048
Oh...
201
00:10:26,646 --> 00:10:28,080
Hey, guys.
202
00:10:28,081 --> 00:10:29,948
You late.
203
00:10:29,982 --> 00:10:33,919
Oh, sorry. I was cleaning up
throw-up in my bathroom.
204
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,887
Welcome to Club Edna.
205
00:10:35,888 --> 00:10:37,155
Now, back to work.
206
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,256
What?
207
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:39,891
I Veronica now.
208
00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:43,428
I take off my glasses,
and I tell you what to do.
209
00:10:43,429 --> 00:10:45,430
Now, do something!
210
00:10:45,465 --> 00:10:47,699
You,
211
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,234
make video game.
212
00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:50,969
You, cancel my 9:00.
213
00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:53,405
Also... you short.
214
00:10:55,408 --> 00:10:57,743
She really thinks
she works here.
215
00:10:57,777 --> 00:11:01,413
Well, she shows up on time
and she's disease-free.
216
00:11:01,447 --> 00:11:04,282
Uh... what's
with the mask?
217
00:11:04,317 --> 00:11:06,551
Oh, it's flu season.
This place is like a petri dish.
218
00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:07,753
You should wear one of these.
219
00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:10,322
I'm not gonna wear that.
220
00:11:10,356 --> 00:11:11,923
How's Veronica doing?
221
00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,525
She's doing a little
better, sadly.
222
00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:14,926
Why sadly?
223
00:11:14,961 --> 00:11:16,962
Well, it's weird.
I mean, I started out
224
00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:19,498
pretending to take care
of her, but...
225
00:11:19,499 --> 00:11:22,400
now it's different,
it's, like... I do care.
226
00:11:22,435 --> 00:11:25,137
Oh, congratulations; You've
experienced your first emotion.
227
00:11:25,138 --> 00:11:27,839
How does it feel?
228
00:11:27,874 --> 00:11:29,441
It's emotional.
229
00:11:29,442 --> 00:11:31,076
Yeah.
Yeah.
230
00:11:31,077 --> 00:11:33,011
It's like I still want
to have sex with her,
231
00:11:33,012 --> 00:11:36,982
but now I want her to
like it... is that weird?
232
00:11:37,016 --> 00:11:39,851
Well, it's weird for you, yeah.
233
00:11:39,886 --> 00:11:42,187
Oh, what's in the bag?
Huh?
234
00:11:42,221 --> 00:11:44,456
Is that, uh... sweets?
235
00:11:44,457 --> 00:11:46,792
Oh. Maybe.
236
00:11:46,826 --> 00:11:49,694
Is it a cupcake?
237
00:11:49,729 --> 00:11:51,396
I don't know, maybe.
238
00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,565
Yeah, well, what is it?
239
00:11:53,599 --> 00:11:54,800
It's Veronica's stool sample.
240
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:56,535
Oh, my God!
241
00:11:58,971 --> 00:12:01,006
I'm kidding.
242
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,507
I'm just kidding,
I'm just kidding.
243
00:12:02,508 --> 00:12:04,709
It's a brownie.
Here, we can share it.
244
00:12:04,744 --> 00:12:06,278
Here.
245
00:12:06,279 --> 00:12:08,380
There's a piece of corn in it.
246
00:12:13,686 --> 00:12:15,453
Honey, I'm home!
247
00:12:15,488 --> 00:12:17,322
Hey.
248
00:12:17,356 --> 00:12:19,057
Wha... What's going on?
249
00:12:19,091 --> 00:12:20,592
Nothing. I'm better.
250
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:22,694
Oh, great. Yeah.
251
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,063
Are you sure that
you're all better?
252
00:12:25,064 --> 00:12:26,398
You don't want to, like,
253
00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:29,034
puke or something just a little?
254
00:12:29,068 --> 00:12:30,802
No. And I should
leave you alone.
255
00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:32,504
Thanks for taking care
of me, Eli.
256
00:12:32,505 --> 00:12:35,907
And I guess I was wrong... you
do have a kind bone in there.
257
00:12:35,942 --> 00:12:38,476
So... this is good-bye?
258
00:12:38,511 --> 00:12:39,644
Yep. See you at work tomorrow.
259
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,013
Okay.
260
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:44,883
Hey, uh... you want
to grab dinner tomorrow?
261
00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:47,352
It's the least I could do
after how kind you've been.
262
00:12:47,386 --> 00:12:49,454
Really? S-Sure.
263
00:12:49,455 --> 00:12:51,823
Yeah, o-obviously
I know it's not a date.
264
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,358
You know what?
265
00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:55,026
It is a date.
266
00:12:55,027 --> 00:12:56,862
See you at work.
267
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,700
A date?!
268
00:13:03,536 --> 00:13:05,403
Ooh, a date.
269
00:13:05,404 --> 00:13:06,738
That worked!
270
00:13:06,772 --> 00:13:08,773
A date, a date, a date!
271
00:13:08,774 --> 00:13:10,141
I have got a d...
272
00:13:15,781 --> 00:13:17,015
No...
273
00:13:17,016 --> 00:13:18,183
No, I can't be sick...
274
00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:20,185
I have a date!
275
00:13:21,454 --> 00:13:23,788
You take someone else!
276
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,095
Oh, my God, he's dead!
277
00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:31,129
Thank you.
278
00:13:34,796 --> 00:13:37,264
Thanks for dropping me off
for a massage, honey.
279
00:13:37,265 --> 00:13:38,699
I really need this.
280
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:42,069
Been a little stressed
the past few days.
281
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:44,471
Could we get
massages, too?
282
00:13:44,472 --> 00:13:46,340
You guys are staying
in the car.
283
00:13:46,341 --> 00:13:50,444
It's the only germ-free
zone in the city.
284
00:13:50,478 --> 00:13:52,312
Can I get ice cream?
285
00:13:52,313 --> 00:13:54,781
Before dinner? No.
286
00:13:54,782 --> 00:13:56,783
Can ice cream
be my dinner?
287
00:13:56,784 --> 00:13:57,818
No.
288
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:01,788
Okay, here you are, honey.
Have a good massage, okay?
289
00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:04,324
Thank you.
290
00:14:04,325 --> 00:14:07,261
Hey, uh, uh, uh,
don't go to a man, okay?
291
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:09,897
A-And make sure they
wash their hands.
292
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,801
I can't believe I'm actually
on a date with Eli Sachs,
293
00:14:14,836 --> 00:14:16,436
the notorious womanizer.
294
00:14:16,471 --> 00:14:19,540
Oh, no, tonight think
of me as Eli Sachs,
295
00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:22,609
the notoriously nice
and caring male nurse.
296
00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:25,312
Who's also your boss.
297
00:14:25,346 --> 00:14:27,381
You feeling okay?
You're-you're sweating.
298
00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:29,216
Oh... yeah, it's just
the habanero margarita.
299
00:14:30,485 --> 00:14:32,386
We haven't even ordered
our drinks yet.
300
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,688
I know, it's just
the thought of it.
301
00:14:34,722 --> 00:14:36,356
Well, I hear this
restaurant's really hip.
302
00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:37,891
The food blogs described
their entrees
303
00:14:37,892 --> 00:14:39,726
as "intentionally
confrontational."
304
00:14:39,761 --> 00:14:41,528
Compliments
of the chef.
305
00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:43,063
Oh. What is this?
306
00:14:43,064 --> 00:14:44,965
Ox balls
in lamb's blood.
307
00:14:44,966 --> 00:14:47,167
These are to be eaten
with your feet.
308
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:51,672
Uh, hey,
excuse me, um...
309
00:14:51,706 --> 00:14:53,840
could I have some bread?
No, sir.
310
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,976
You don't have bread?
311
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,144
No.
312
00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:59,813
This is a restaurant, isn't it?
313
00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:03,417
Yes.
314
00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:05,018
A restaurant without bread.
315
00:15:05,053 --> 00:15:07,588
Yes.
316
00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:09,489
Even prisons have bread.
317
00:15:09,524 --> 00:15:11,525
Yes. But we don't.
318
00:15:13,127 --> 00:15:14,595
Please?
319
00:15:14,629 --> 00:15:16,363
Edna?
320
00:15:16,364 --> 00:15:18,365
Hey. What are
you doing here?
321
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:20,867
Mr. Chinese potential investor.
322
00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:23,837
He tough,
but Edna has his number.
323
00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:26,473
Come on, Mr. Chinese. Mm!
324
00:15:31,012 --> 00:15:33,380
Okay, I'm gonna run in
and get some money. I...
325
00:15:33,414 --> 00:15:35,515
Don't touch anything.
326
00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:42,689
I want to touch
stuff so bad.
327
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,062
Hey, fella,
you're in the wrong car.
328
00:15:49,097 --> 00:15:50,597
This is a carjacking.
329
00:15:50,632 --> 00:15:51,898
Please don't kill me.
330
00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:54,468
Feel free to kill me.
331
00:15:54,502 --> 00:15:56,303
Get out.
332
00:15:56,337 --> 00:15:58,005
We, uh, can't.
333
00:15:58,006 --> 00:16:00,907
We're child-locked in here.
334
00:16:00,942 --> 00:16:02,376
Okay, give me your money.
335
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:04,678
Sure thing.
Crawford, give him your money.
336
00:16:04,679 --> 00:16:05,946
Well, I, uh...
337
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,981
I'm now what you call
"insolvent."
338
00:16:07,982 --> 00:16:10,917
But I do have
this credit card.
339
00:16:10,952 --> 00:16:13,387
It says "Your name here."
340
00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:16,957
It could be.
341
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:19,960
Is your earring
on the gay side?
342
00:16:19,961 --> 00:16:21,795
What?
Trick question.
343
00:16:21,796 --> 00:16:24,398
If you're a man,
they're both the gay side.
344
00:16:24,399 --> 00:16:26,933
Shut up.
You're not my dad.
345
00:16:28,102 --> 00:16:29,469
Good-bye!
346
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:32,773
And pull up your pants!
347
00:16:32,807 --> 00:16:34,808
Okay, I'm back.
348
00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:38,245
Quick check. Uh...
349
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:40,580
Uh...
350
00:16:40,581 --> 00:16:42,616
Who touched
all this stuff?
351
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:43,950
A man in a hoodie.
352
00:16:43,985 --> 00:16:46,053
A one-earring'd man.
353
00:16:46,054 --> 00:16:47,287
Okay...
354
00:16:47,321 --> 00:16:48,922
what have I told you
about lying?
355
00:16:48,956 --> 00:16:51,291
To... not to?
356
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:52,926
That's right,
that's right.
357
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,028
No, I was gonna give you
this ice cream,
358
00:16:55,029 --> 00:16:57,330
but now I've decided...
I've decided to...
359
00:16:57,365 --> 00:16:59,032
to not to. Yeah. No! No!
360
00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:00,567
Yeah. No, that's
a good idea.
361
00:17:00,568 --> 00:17:02,936
You know, I think I'm
gonna eat it myself,
362
00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:05,539
because I don't make up stories.
Yeah, that's right,
363
00:17:05,573 --> 00:17:07,507
look at this. Mmm.
364
00:17:07,508 --> 00:17:10,510
Delicious honesty.
Ooh, it's so good.
365
00:17:10,511 --> 00:17:11,878
Mmm...
366
00:17:11,879 --> 00:17:13,613
This blows.
367
00:17:13,648 --> 00:17:15,315
What did you just say?
368
00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:17,851
Nothing.
369
00:17:17,885 --> 00:17:20,153
That's right.
That's what I thought you said.
370
00:17:20,188 --> 00:17:21,621
Nothing.
371
00:17:21,622 --> 00:17:23,690
That dessert was amazing.
372
00:17:23,725 --> 00:17:25,559
You sure all you
wanted was rice?
373
00:17:25,593 --> 00:17:27,060
Mm-hmm.
374
00:17:27,095 --> 00:17:28,562
You barely said
anything all dinner...
375
00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:30,230
you... you sure
you're feeling okay?
376
00:17:30,264 --> 00:17:32,499
Yeah, terrific.
I've never been better.
377
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,202
We have the boiled
duck fetus on a stick.
378
00:17:36,804 --> 00:17:38,538
You know, I...
379
00:17:38,573 --> 00:17:40,941
I thought you'd be talking
about yourself the whole time,
380
00:17:40,942 --> 00:17:42,743
but you've been
such a good listener.
381
00:17:42,777 --> 00:17:44,377
And this is
the fried tarantula.
382
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,849
I guess I was wrong about you.
383
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,318
Maybe you are a guy
I could be with.
384
00:17:51,352 --> 00:17:53,253
Really?
385
00:17:53,287 --> 00:17:55,188
Yeah.
386
00:17:55,189 --> 00:17:57,324
And finally, our signature dish,
387
00:17:57,358 --> 00:17:58,792
the scrambled anus.
388
00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:00,427
Oh, my God.
389
00:18:00,461 --> 00:18:02,229
I'm s... I'm so sorry.
390
00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:03,430
I'm so sorry.
391
00:18:03,464 --> 00:18:05,098
Hey, buddy, what
are you doing here?
392
00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:08,401
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
393
00:18:08,436 --> 00:18:10,303
Get it off me!
Oh, my God!
394
00:18:10,304 --> 00:18:12,506
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, man,
395
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,040
is that vomit?
396
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:15,876
Ew, it is vomit.
397
00:18:20,782 --> 00:18:22,549
Stop vomiting!
398
00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:24,050
Stop it!
You stop it!
399
00:18:59,854 --> 00:19:02,322
Hey, buddy,
you gonna eat that anus?
400
00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:15,951
When are they gonna
fix that elevator?
401
00:19:15,952 --> 00:19:18,220
Oh, thank you
for getting me home.
402
00:19:18,221 --> 00:19:21,357
I'm so sorry I puked
in your passenger-door pocket.
403
00:19:21,358 --> 00:19:22,491
Ah, it's okay.
404
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:23,859
It's a Korean car.
405
00:19:26,429 --> 00:19:29,598
Well, I guess it serves me right for
pretending to be nice to hook up with you.
406
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:31,834
Wait, what?
407
00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:34,236
I... uh...
408
00:19:34,237 --> 00:19:36,372
uh, this fever! What?
409
00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:37,806
I can't...
410
00:19:37,841 --> 00:19:39,208
even see. Veronica?
411
00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:40,676
Wait, are you serious?
412
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,611
You've been faking being nice
to me this whole time?
413
00:19:42,646 --> 00:19:44,747
No, no, n-not this whole time.
414
00:19:44,781 --> 00:19:46,916
Yes, at first,
but... but then
415
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:48,584
I didn't mind.
416
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:52,288
And now, I... I think
I'm falling for you.
417
00:19:52,322 --> 00:19:55,991
Tricking me into liking
you is not falling in love.
418
00:19:56,026 --> 00:19:59,328
You're just saying that
'cause you're a girl.
419
00:19:59,362 --> 00:20:01,197
Eli, I don't date.
420
00:20:01,198 --> 00:20:04,033
And I don't want a fling,
especially not with my boss.
421
00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:06,702
Well, then you're fired.
Problem solved.
422
00:20:06,736 --> 00:20:09,038
I cannot believe
I opened up to you.
423
00:20:09,039 --> 00:20:10,339
Oh, come on, Veronica...
wait, don't-don't leave.
424
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,373
Don't leave.
425
00:20:12,809 --> 00:20:14,710
I'm sorry that
I tried to woo you
426
00:20:14,711 --> 00:20:16,312
under false pretense.
427
00:20:16,346 --> 00:20:19,281
But I really did like
having you here.
428
00:20:19,316 --> 00:20:22,418
It felt good to take care
of somebody besides myself,
429
00:20:22,419 --> 00:20:25,187
even more so because it was you.
430
00:20:25,222 --> 00:20:27,623
Stop staring
at my breasts.
431
00:20:27,624 --> 00:20:28,991
I...
432
00:20:29,025 --> 00:20:31,293
I am staring at your heart.
433
00:20:37,234 --> 00:20:40,669
You are forgetting
how well I know you.
434
00:20:40,704 --> 00:20:42,671
But isn't that a good thing?
435
00:20:42,706 --> 00:20:44,306
Look,
436
00:20:44,341 --> 00:20:45,975
can't we just start over?
437
00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:49,979
Well... we were
having fun...
438
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,014
till you puked everywhere.
439
00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:56,318
Just... just stay
a little longer.
440
00:20:56,353 --> 00:20:58,654
I promise I'm...
441
00:20:58,688 --> 00:21:00,823
not just trying
to sleep with you.
442
00:21:15,071 --> 00:21:16,839
Is that a condom
in your back pocket?
443
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:22,411
Maybe...?
444
00:21:22,412 --> 00:21:25,381
See you at work.
Oh, come on! What?
445
00:21:25,415 --> 00:21:28,398
You gotta be prepared!
What, you want to have a baby?
446
00:21:28,399 --> 00:21:32,927
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/