1
00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:04,686
This is from all of us, Troy.
2
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:08,256
When you're sailing around the world,
you'll be going through a lot of countries,
3
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,925
So we got you a universal translator.
4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,026
(Giggles)
5
00:00:12,061 --> 00:00:13,995
- Cool.
- Bueno.
6
00:00:14,029 --> 00:00:15,764
- Bueno?
- Cool.
7
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,132
Thanks, guys.
8
00:00:17,166 --> 00:00:19,200
I didn't know going-away
parties could be so much fun.
9
00:00:19,235 --> 00:00:20,835
I should leave all the time.
10
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:23,371
Let's not forget it's
okay to be sad too.
11
00:00:23,406 --> 00:00:25,740
Britta, do you get
kickbacks from big buzzkill?
12
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,776
- I'm serious.
- We know.
13
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:30,412
The truth is, a member
of our family is leaving.
14
00:00:30,446 --> 00:00:31,813
For a year, maybe more.
15
00:00:31,847 --> 00:00:34,149
Psychology has taught
me the human mind has
16
00:00:34,183 --> 00:00:37,686
a tendency to rechannel
separation anxiety in the form
17
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,455
of frivolity and giddiness, and...
18
00:00:40,489 --> 00:00:43,725
I don't want us to waste our
chance to acknowledge how much
19
00:00:43,759 --> 00:00:46,327
we're gonna miss you.
20
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:49,297
- Attention, Greendale.
- Oh, announcements!
21
00:00:49,331 --> 00:00:50,432
- Announcements!
- (Laughs)
22
00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:51,700
- Oh, I love these.
- Whoo! Announcements!
23
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:54,302
I'm standing here with Abed Nadir,
24
00:00:54,337 --> 00:00:57,972
who has chosen to give
his best friend, Troy,
25
00:00:58,007 --> 00:01:01,476
The very special going-away
present of declaring
26
00:01:01,510 --> 00:01:05,480
a school-wide game of hot lava!
27
00:01:05,514 --> 00:01:06,448
- Cool!
- Ooh, that sounds like fun!
28
00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:09,184
Wha... no! Process
your feelings.
29
00:01:09,218 --> 00:01:10,819
Hot lava is the sweet, classic
30
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,321
children's game in
which you are not allowed
31
00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:16,524
to touch the floor, or you're dead.
32
00:01:16,559 --> 00:01:21,529
I think it's cute, and while I normally
don't condone climbing on furniture,
33
00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:23,898
Troy and Abed's friendship has been such
34
00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:28,693
a special and magical part of Greendale,
We owe it to ourselves to honor it.
35
00:01:29,305 --> 00:01:30,672
Abed, anything to add?
36
00:01:30,706 --> 00:01:33,308
Yes, take this seriously.
Stay on furniture.
37
00:01:33,342 --> 00:01:34,876
No books, no bags. The dead can't talk.
38
00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,478
No coming back as a lava monster.
39
00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:37,645
- Ooh!
- Yes!
40
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,880
- (Laughs)
- Hot lava!
41
00:01:38,914 --> 00:01:41,549
Come on, guys, this
is classic avoidance.
42
00:01:41,584 --> 00:01:42,517
I have to go talk to him.
43
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:43,651
Oh, and because the non-awesome
44
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,405
often need incentive
to do awesome stuff,
45
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,990
The final survivor will win my near mint
condition number one issue of Space Clone.
46
00:01:49,024 --> 00:01:52,727
valued by the comics
authority at $50,000.
47
00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:53,962
Wh... I'm... I'm
sorry?
48
00:01:53,996 --> 00:01:58,733
The floor turns to lava in
ten, nine, eight, seven...
49
00:01:58,768 --> 00:02:00,468
- (All shouting)
- Did you say 15 or 50 thousand?
50
00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:02,036
- Six...
- Oh, who am I kidding?
51
00:02:02,071 --> 00:02:03,238
Help, lava!
52
00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:07,575
- Five, four, three, two...
- (All shouting)
53
00:02:07,610 --> 00:02:12,512
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:20,155
(Distant screaming)
55
00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:24,592
Professor Duncan?
56
00:02:24,627 --> 00:02:28,463
You stay back, Britta! I'm not afraid
to push a girl into make-believe lava.
57
00:02:28,497 --> 00:02:30,465
In fact, it's been my primary strategy.
58
00:02:30,499 --> 00:02:32,100
I'm staying in the game,
so I can talk to Abed.
59
00:02:32,134 --> 00:02:33,234
I'm worried about him.
60
00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:34,702
What I'm worried about is money.
61
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,539
My self-published novels aren't
going to publish themselves.
62
00:02:37,573 --> 00:02:40,408
Don't regress to primal behavior
just because it's allowed.
63
00:02:40,443 --> 00:02:43,912
We're human beings, not
the editors of Teen Vogue.
64
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,880
They're setting a terrible
example for today's young women.
65
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,015
Well, I'm sorry, Britta,
66
00:02:47,049 --> 00:02:49,250
But it's either you or me...
67
00:02:49,285 --> 00:02:50,819
And I'm me.
68
00:02:50,853 --> 00:02:52,720
- No!
- Yes, yes, yes!
69
00:02:54,590 --> 00:02:57,926
Oh!
(Groans, coughs)
70
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,561
Real nice, Winger.
71
00:02:59,595 --> 00:03:02,297
This is why the English
never win any sports.
72
00:03:02,331 --> 00:03:05,433
'cause everyone else cheats!
73
00:03:05,468 --> 00:03:07,669
Britta, there you are.
74
00:03:07,703 --> 00:03:10,538
Sweet, sweet, portable chairs.
75
00:03:10,573 --> 00:03:13,575
Plastic gold. Four-legged diamonds.
76
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:14,776
You claiming this?
77
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:16,177
Lava joust?
78
00:03:16,212 --> 00:03:18,680
Did you all hit your heads
on each other's heads?
79
00:03:18,714 --> 00:03:19,848
Let's get real, Britta.
80
00:03:19,882 --> 00:03:21,082
Once the last of the chairs are gone,
81
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,318
a sofa hopper like you
won't last 20 minutes.
82
00:03:23,352 --> 00:03:24,652
You want to join this alliance,
83
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,554
- or you want to join the lava?
- Fine.
84
00:03:26,589 --> 00:03:29,124
But I'm not learning the
new names for anything.
85
00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:30,425
(Grunting)
86
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:32,727
Centipeding isn't the
fastest form of travel,
87
00:03:32,762 --> 00:03:33,995
But if we find more chairs,
88
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:36,931
We can do the inchworm, scootenanny,
89
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,433
The reverse Danny Thomas.
90
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,201
Do you think this game's
gotten a little out of hand?
91
00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:43,772
Eh, feels normal enough for a school
that's on 911's blocked caller list.
92
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,940
And I like that Abed wanted
to send Troy off in a cool way.
93
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,976
Send him off or put off sending him?
94
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:51,613
I think this imaginary lava
might symbolize Abed's fear of change.
95
00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:53,014
I think that diagnosis symbolizes
96
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:54,983
- your lack of a psych degree.
- (Scoffs)
97
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,351
Mama mahogany, feast your feet
98
00:03:56,385 --> 00:03:58,453
- on that stack of sticks.
- (Sighs)
99
00:03:58,487 --> 00:03:59,921
Eh, too easy. Could be a trap.
100
00:03:59,955 --> 00:04:02,824
As if someone else is taking this game
as seriously as you.
101
00:04:02,858 --> 00:04:04,959
Let's keep this centipede rolling.
Give me a chair.
102
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,961
Ugh, so stupid.
103
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,997
Come on.
104
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,665
- Shh, shh!
- All: Locker, locker, locker.
105
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,300
- Locker, locker.
- Locker boys!
106
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,401
Oh!
107
00:04:13,436 --> 00:04:16,705
- (All growling)
- Locker!
108
00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:19,574
Winger, Edison, and Perry.
109
00:04:19,608 --> 00:04:21,776
What a delicious... combination.
110
00:04:21,811 --> 00:04:24,479
All: Lock, lock, lock, lock,
lock, lock, lock, lock, lock!
111
00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:27,048
What are we getting from this
extra level of commitment?
112
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,550
We're getting your chairs, your food,
113
00:04:28,584 --> 00:04:31,052
and the names of your
same-sex celebrity crushes.
114
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:32,620
Everyone has one, don't lie.
115
00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:35,156
Then you're free to go... into lava!
116
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,124
All: Lock, lock, lock,
lock, lock, lock, lock, lock!
117
00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:38,960
Ooh-whoo-ooh!
118
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,102
Stand down or meet your doom, Chang.
119
00:04:47,136 --> 00:04:49,337
You're in no position to
make threats, floor strider.
120
00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:52,207
Our truce ended when you banished
us from the pay phone bench.
121
00:04:52,241 --> 00:04:53,842
You used that bench
to upset the balance.
122
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:57,045
By the Vapors of Magmarath,
we will restore it.
123
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,848
You have gods? Locker boys!
124
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,383
Earn your M&Ms!
125
00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:02,384
Locker!
126
00:05:02,418 --> 00:05:05,387
Troy and Abed intimidation stance.
127
00:05:07,189 --> 00:05:09,491
(All whimpering)
128
00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:11,726
I guess that actually looked
the way it did in my head.
129
00:05:11,761 --> 00:05:13,328
(Metal screeching, steam hissing)
130
00:05:13,362 --> 00:05:17,632
(Laughing wickedly)
131
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,772
Hiya, kids.
132
00:05:23,806 --> 00:05:27,075
I'm criminology professor Buzz Hickey,
133
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:30,679
And this... this is just a little
something I threw together.
134
00:05:33,482 --> 00:05:37,085
(Laughs)
135
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,119
(Grunting)
136
00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:39,421
Aah!
(Grunts)
137
00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:42,190
(Slow motion)
Jump!
138
00:05:42,224 --> 00:05:44,626
- Aah!
- (Laughing)
139
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:47,195
Centipede, centipede! Okay!
140
00:05:47,229 --> 00:05:49,030
(All screaming)
141
00:05:49,065 --> 00:05:52,400
Pull harder! Pull harder! Pull harder!
142
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,635
(Both shout)
143
00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,937
My same-sex celebrity
crush is Nathan Fillion!
144
00:05:55,971 --> 00:05:57,138
(Shrieks)
145
00:05:57,173 --> 00:05:58,740
Nathan Fillion!
146
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:01,042
Jeff, Annie! Get to Shirley Island.
147
00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:02,043
We'll meet you there.
148
00:06:02,078 --> 00:06:03,812
Abed, save yourself!
149
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:07,148
Abed, before Troy "dies in lava,"
150
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:09,384
you can save yourself emotionally
151
00:06:09,418 --> 00:06:12,387
by honestly experiencing the pain
152
00:06:12,421 --> 00:06:13,955
of him leaving Greendale!
153
00:06:13,989 --> 00:06:16,624
We can do this in three steps.
Britta, jump to that trash can.
154
00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:18,493
Troy, start inchworming.
155
00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:19,828
What's the third step?
156
00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:21,029
The third step's survival.
Good luck, Britta.
157
00:06:21,063 --> 00:06:23,298
Seriously? Troy!
158
00:06:23,332 --> 00:06:25,033
Sorry, Britta, Abed knows best.
159
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,935
But I'll always remember you
as kind of slowing us down
160
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,169
and complaining a lot.
161
00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:31,706
- Oh, my... no!
- (Laughing)
162
00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:34,075
(Vehicle stops)
163
00:06:37,246 --> 00:06:38,513
They abandoned you?
164
00:06:38,547 --> 00:06:41,149
This game's doing bad things to people.
165
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,183
Now me, I'm just in it for the money.
166
00:06:42,218 --> 00:06:43,885
My son's getting gay married.
167
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:47,489
The flowers alone, you have no idea.
168
00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:49,157
I get it.
169
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:51,960
I lived in New York.
170
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,561
(Sighs)
171
00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:55,397
All right, Miss Perry, climb aboard.
172
00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:56,831
It's fake killing time.
173
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,833
(Chuckles)
174
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,710
Welcome to Shirley Island.
175
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,568
No furniture beyond this point.
176
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:20,372
Leave your weapons at the door
and any spare doors at the entrance.
177
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,876
(Banging on pot)
Then came the now-now times...
178
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:29,014
When the floors were covered
with the burny touch.
179
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:31,950
All: Ooh.
180
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,053
You made it. Friends!
181
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:38,223
Welcome to Shirley Island,
where all your dreams come true,
182
00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,525
If you dream of standing on
a table and pissing in a jar.
183
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,093
Where's Britta?
184
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,996
She didn't make it. Oh, that's too bad.
185
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,766
Poor Britta. It's okay.
186
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,335
Her sacrifice got us this
far, and now we can't lose.
187
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:51,469
Why not?
188
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:52,704
Because now we're on Shirley Island,
189
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:56,374
and according to
legend... So is the orb.
190
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,743
I'm sure I have no idea
what you're speaking of.
191
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,446
- This is a place of peace.
- And profit.
192
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,480
Come again?
193
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:03,682
You're not really playing, Shirley.
194
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:06,084
You're a merchant,
and more power to you.
195
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:09,421
But don't withhold power from
others just to make money.
196
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:10,422
We want the orb.
197
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:13,225
Abed.
198
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,893
Listen, I'm still a little
raw from what happened
199
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,294
with Britta back there.
200
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,597
I mean, fun is fun, but I
don't want my last day here
201
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,900
to be a day where everyone hates me.
202
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,602
Last day?
203
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:26,538
Citizens of Shirley Island!
(Steam hissing)
204
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,640
What have you brought to my door?
205
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,543
- Stay back!
- (All grunting)
206
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,979
- My God, it's Hickey.
- Aah!
207
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,113
And he's got chair walkers!
208
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,550
(All chanting)
209
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:39,684
(Mic feedback)
210
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,087
Come out with your feet on the floor,
211
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:46,625
and there will be no need
for nudging or jostling.
212
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,761
I did not skip my son's
birthday for second place!
213
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,898
(Plungers pop off floor)
214
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,803
I want to say something to
you guys about mental health.
215
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,438
Is that Britta? Is she alive?
216
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,973
Why did you think she was dead?
217
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,142
We kind of... left her.
218
00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:05,577
Left her for dead?
219
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:06,611
Sounds bad when you put it that way.
220
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,080
Can you put it a way that sounds good?
221
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:11,049
You do realize this isn't
just a pile of chairs, right?
222
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:12,450
This is a crib,
223
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:15,620
And you're curled up inside
there, sucking your thumb,
224
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,989
because you're too
scared to say good-bye.
225
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,192
Well, it's time to grow up.
226
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,228
The adults are here, and we're
gonna tear down your fort.
227
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:26,198
Chair walkers, attack! Ah-ooh!
228
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,668
All: Ah-ooh!
229
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:33,972
(All shouting)
230
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,480
My name was Vicki! Tell my story!
231
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,349
These are my only pants!
I can't get them dirty!
232
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:45,784
(British accent): I'm actually British!
233
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,118
Leonard! Butter 'em up!
234
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,621
You got it!
235
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,359
(All shouting)
236
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:03,168
Cirque du so long, you
high-stepping acro-bastards!
237
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,636
Do you have any rolling chairs?
238
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:05,871
Behind the curtain.
239
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:09,307
Abandon fort! Women
and man-children first!
240
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:13,979
Hey, seat feet! Chair to dance?
241
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:16,081
(Grunts)
242
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,649
(Laughs)
243
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,451
(Grunts)
244
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:21,820
(All grunting)
245
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:24,089
Yes!
(Laughs)
246
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,190
Aah!
247
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:28,126
- (Laughs)
- Britta, I'm your friend.
248
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,427
I can't hear dead people, Annie.
249
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,264
- I'm in a world of imagination.
- Ha!
250
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,599
Then imagine what the floor looks like.
251
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,269
I don't have to. I'll just imagine
where you're about to be!
252
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,070
That's the same as imagining the floor.
253
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,906
Then you just admitted
that's where you'll be.
254
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,374
Knock, knock, Britta. I'm not gonna say
255
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,709
"who's there?" because someone
on the floor is knocking.
256
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,478
Well, that's lame. You
have to say, "who's there?"
257
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:47,846
Floor! What?
258
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,047
That's who's there! Yeah!
259
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,383
- But it's for you!
- (Grunts)
260
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,885
(Grunts)
Ah! Aah!
261
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:56,254
(Rumbling)
262
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,790
Shirley, give us the orb, and
we can save Shirley Island.
263
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,394
The orb can't save Shirley island
because Shirley Island is the orb.
264
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,595
In a cool way like Keyser Soze
265
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:06,198
or a lame way like Jewel of the Nile?
266
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,969
You tell Buzz Hickey that
Shirley Bennett said...
267
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,537
Well, I don't want to waste your time.
268
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:13,872
Just think of something
cool and give me credit.
269
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:15,173
(Both grunting)
270
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,708
But the door I'm
knocking on is your home,
271
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,810
so if I'm the floor,
it means you're dead.
272
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,745
If you're the floor,
you're already dead.
273
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,848
Just do it right! Knock, knock!
274
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:25,750
Knock, knock!
(Grunting)
275
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,420
(Both grunting)
276
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:30,856
Oh!
277
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,391
Who's there, bitch? Floor!
278
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,927
Floor!
279
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,697
Aah!
280
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:41,032
Oh!
281
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,501
(All shouting)
(Steam hisses)
282
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,636
Both: ♪ Troy and Abed in a bubble ♪
283
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,464
Ha! Hickey, you chicken.
284
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,203
(Air hissing)
285
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,771
He gutted us. Retreat!
286
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,441
(Grunting)
287
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,544
(Panting)
Hello?
288
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,445
Hello?
289
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,314
I'm the only one left.
290
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:32,717
I won 50,000 bucks.
291
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,121
That's 50,000 lottery tickets!
292
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,255
(Laughs)
293
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,256
(Gasps)
294
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,791
(Screams)
295
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:43,061
(Shouting)
296
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,729
You can't outrun your emotions!
297
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,232
Aah!
298
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,770
- (Grunting)
- (Shouts)
299
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,140
Aah! I had a dream like this,
but it was sexual.
300
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:59,044
I will force you two to grieve properly
even if it kills us all!
301
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,912
Go away, Britta!
302
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,815
Oh! Aah!
303
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,183
(Shouting)
304
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:08,453
(All shout)
305
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,422
- Yay!
- Ow!
306
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,391
- Yay!
- Ow! Ow!
307
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,327
Sorry about our butts touching.
308
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:18,430
(Metallic clanking)
309
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,302
Okay, we'll go into the vents.
310
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,338
They'll never find us there.
I say we take a stand here.
311
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,740
I mean, someone's got to win sometime.
312
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:29,741
Not if we never kill each other.
313
00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:30,809
Then we can play forever.
314
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:31,943
Right. Wait.
315
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,012
Abed, the floor can't be lava forever.
316
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:36,014
The game's got to end.
317
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,385
It's not a game for me, Troy.
318
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,354
I'm seeing real lava
because you're leaving.
319
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,655
It's embarrassing, and
I don't want to be crazy,
320
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:46,191
but I am crazy, so...
321
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,660
I made a game that made you and
everyone else see what I see.
322
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:51,296
(Lava bubbling)
323
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,700
I don't want it to be
there either, I swear.
324
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,135
I want you to be able to leave,
325
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,104
but I don't think the lava goes
away until you stop leaving.
326
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:01,206
So the only way I can help you is
327
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,243
by giving up my chance
to be one person?
328
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:09,614
(Door bursts open)
(Both shouting)
329
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,617
- You guys ready for closure?
- Of your caskets?
330
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,220
Guys, stop, okay? The
lava's real to Abed.
331
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,922
- It's not a game to him.
- Oh, no.
332
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,256
You know what I think?
333
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,058
I think he's used to
getting his own way.
334
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,094
I think he's never met me.
335
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,463
- Aah!
- No!
336
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,698
(Metal crashing)
337
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,968
Abed!
338
00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,837
Abed.
(Panting)
339
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:35,173
Uh!
340
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,475
Unbelievable.
341
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,978
When this game is over,
I'm gonna shove you back.
342
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,416
Abed, give me your other hand!
343
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,186
It's down to us.
You or Britta will be the winner.
344
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,122
I'm not leaving,
okay? Just... I promise.
345
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,691
Just... the floor's not lava
now. Just give me your hand.
346
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,527
I don't think the lava's
here because you're leaving.
347
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,262
I think it's here
because I won't let go.
348
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,231
Sorry.
349
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,532
- Bye.
- Abed.
350
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,801
Abed. Abed!
351
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:05,404
Abed!
352
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,773
Abed! Abed!
353
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,777
(Solemn music)
354
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:12,811
♪
355
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,646
Abed.
356
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,183
He's... he's fake dead.
Forever.
357
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:20,786
(Ding)
El esta muerto para siempre.
358
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,587
- Shut up.
- Callate.
359
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,588
- What?
- Que?
360
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,024
- Stop!
- Para.
361
00:15:29,732 --> 00:15:31,832
He's not really dead.
362
00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:33,401
No, but he's really playing
dead, and he's not gonna stop.
363
00:15:33,435 --> 00:15:36,470
Here. Congratulations, you win.
364
00:15:37,472 --> 00:15:38,539
You don't get it.
365
00:15:38,573 --> 00:15:40,708
No one gets Abed.
366
00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:41,976
I got him a little.
367
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:44,178
This is my fault.
368
00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:49,250
I don't deserve to fake live.
369
00:15:49,284 --> 00:15:50,551
Wait! No.
370
00:15:50,585 --> 00:15:52,019
- I can fix it.
- How?
371
00:15:52,054 --> 00:15:53,320
(Sighs)
I-I don't know.
372
00:15:53,355 --> 00:15:55,823
In real life, I don't know,
but I can fake fix him.
373
00:15:55,857 --> 00:15:57,958
Uh, I can clone him.
374
00:15:57,993 --> 00:15:59,894
- I'll clone him.
- Go on.
375
00:15:59,928 --> 00:16:02,063
I just need his DNA.
376
00:16:02,097 --> 00:16:04,565
Let's get his DNA.
Don't touch the lava.
377
00:16:04,599 --> 00:16:06,100
You might be onto something.
378
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:08,369
I'm gonna find discarded technology
379
00:16:08,403 --> 00:16:09,670
From this once great civilization
380
00:16:09,705 --> 00:16:12,573
And start a cloning machine. Mm!
381
00:16:12,607 --> 00:16:14,575
Okay, I'm placing this
cellular regeneration
382
00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:16,944
sequencer on the spot
where he died.
383
00:16:16,979 --> 00:16:18,579
Here, don't forget this.
384
00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:20,581
This is a laser guidance
system that keeps
385
00:16:20,615 --> 00:16:24,352
the regeneration sequence
from, um... jib-jabbing.
386
00:16:24,386 --> 00:16:25,720
Jib-jabbing?
387
00:16:25,754 --> 00:16:28,689
Initiate regeneration sequence.
388
00:16:28,724 --> 00:16:31,392
(Both imitating beeping and whirring)
389
00:16:42,404 --> 00:16:44,472
(Laughs)
It worked.
390
00:16:44,506 --> 00:16:46,640
We made a perfect clone of Abed.
391
00:16:46,675 --> 00:16:48,309
(Neck cracks)
392
00:16:52,247 --> 00:16:53,514
Actually, Britta's work was sloppy.
393
00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:55,016
I'm not an exact replication.
394
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,484
I have all of Abed's
abilities and memories,
395
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:59,487
but I'm missing his
wild emotionality.
396
00:17:02,224 --> 00:17:04,692
Although I think I may be
able to let Troy go now.
397
00:17:06,470 --> 00:17:07,676
I don't know.
398
00:17:08,164 --> 00:17:10,498
I haven't been completely honest.
399
00:17:10,833 --> 00:17:12,500
I'm really scared to go on my trip.
400
00:17:12,534 --> 00:17:16,337
Well, you don't have
to go. Your clone can.
401
00:17:18,073 --> 00:17:21,175
Right.
402
00:17:46,502 --> 00:17:48,770
So you guys are all cloned up too, huh?
403
00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:50,772
Yeah, believe in cloning.
404
00:17:50,806 --> 00:17:52,507
(Horn honks)
405
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:55,677
Well, guess that's my ride.
406
00:17:55,711 --> 00:17:57,812
I'm so excited for you.
407
00:17:57,847 --> 00:18:01,149
You're gonna see the world
and experience new cultures.
408
00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:03,318
I mean, technically all
culture has been homogenized
409
00:18:03,352 --> 00:18:05,053
by 50 years of American imperialism,
410
00:18:05,087 --> 00:18:07,522
But at least the candy
bar wrappers will...
411
00:18:07,556 --> 00:18:10,358
(Sighs)
God, there I go.
412
00:18:10,392 --> 00:18:11,659
Almost Britta'd our good-bye, huh?
413
00:18:11,694 --> 00:18:12,727
I'm the worst.
414
00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:15,430
You're the best, and I love you.
415
00:18:17,399 --> 00:18:18,967
(Whispering) I'm better
at sex than Jeff, right?
416
00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:20,969
I've yet to have anyone worse.
417
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:28,643
All I ever wanted in high
school was for Troy Barnes
418
00:18:28,677 --> 00:18:32,180
yo notice me, and then I
ended up living with you.
419
00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:34,148
- I'm pretty lucky.
- I'm not.
420
00:18:34,183 --> 00:18:35,483
I had a chance to be your
friend in high school,
421
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:38,753
but I was too busy trying to be cool.
422
00:18:38,787 --> 00:18:40,521
I missed out on four
more years of Annie.
423
00:18:40,556 --> 00:18:42,490
Aw!
424
00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:49,864
You are the coolest guy I know.
425
00:18:49,899 --> 00:18:51,866
I hope I make you proud.
426
00:18:54,069 --> 00:18:56,638
I've never stepped foot
outside of Colorado.
427
00:18:56,672 --> 00:19:00,942
You're becoming much cooler
than me by doing this.
428
00:19:03,245 --> 00:19:04,879
Thanks for looking out for me.
429
00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:06,881
Thank you for putting up
with the boring, old mom
430
00:19:06,916 --> 00:19:08,483
in your college study group.
431
00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:10,118
You made a furniture fortress.
432
00:19:10,152 --> 00:19:12,387
You're the badass from our study group.
433
00:19:19,094 --> 00:19:20,795
Clone Troy.
434
00:19:20,829 --> 00:19:23,798
Clone Abed.
435
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:25,199
By the way, when I
cloned you, I had to patch
436
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:28,236
some missing parts of your DNA
with genes from a homing pigeon.
437
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:32,440
You may notice side effects,
like a compulsion to come back.
438
00:19:32,474 --> 00:19:34,909
Cool. Clone hug?
439
00:19:42,851 --> 00:19:44,619
So you're really just
gonna pilot this thing
440
00:19:44,653 --> 00:19:45,987
all on your own?
441
00:19:46,021 --> 00:19:47,088
Well, Pierce's will stated
that someone would be
442
00:19:47,122 --> 00:19:48,423
assigned to travel with me
443
00:19:48,457 --> 00:19:51,693
- to verify that I don't cheat.
- Captain Barnes.
444
00:19:51,727 --> 00:19:53,127
We should probably
set sail while the wind
445
00:19:53,162 --> 00:19:55,496
is still in our favor,
don't you think?
446
00:19:55,531 --> 00:19:56,698
Engage.
447
00:19:56,732 --> 00:19:59,400
(Come sail away playing)
448
00:20:03,439 --> 00:20:06,107
♪ A gathering of angels
449
00:20:06,141 --> 00:20:09,644
♪ Appeared above my head
450
00:20:09,678 --> 00:20:12,647
Now, Troy, I know it's gonna be difficult
for you to interact with me...
451
00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:14,515
No, no. That was the original Troy.
452
00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:15,884
I'm his clone.
453
00:20:15,918 --> 00:20:17,886
Let's get the lead out, Burton.
454
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:18,887
Aye, aye, sir.
455
00:20:18,921 --> 00:20:22,457
(Engine starts)
456
00:20:22,491 --> 00:20:25,660
♪ They said, come sail
away, come sail away ♪
457
00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:29,397
♪ Come sail away
with me, that's... ♪
458
00:20:29,431 --> 00:20:32,500
♪ Come sail away, come sail away ♪
459
00:20:32,534 --> 00:20:35,537
♪ Come sail away with me
460
00:20:37,582 --> 00:20:40,149
You know, starting a sea
voyage from landlocked Colorado
461
00:20:40,183 --> 00:20:42,318
- May not have been the best idea.
- We'll drive to the river
462
00:20:42,352 --> 00:20:43,886
and then take the river to the ocean.
463
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,488
Actually, I never
thought I'd see you again.
464
00:20:45,522 --> 00:20:48,257
I have a couple Star Trek
questions, if you don't mind.
465
00:20:48,292 --> 00:20:50,259
No, go ahead.
466
00:20:52,763 --> 00:20:55,131
What time did you guys have
to get up in the morning?
467
00:20:55,165 --> 00:20:56,966
Does every writer
write for one character?
468
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,668
What's a best boy? I saw
it in the credits once.
469
00:20:58,702 --> 00:21:02,705
Why don't they call it Planet Trek?
470
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,207
You never go to a star.
471
00:21:05,242 --> 00:21:07,209
You... Not one episode.
472
00:21:08,211 --> 00:21:12,611
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com