Ok. New category: what is the worst thing that happened to you in bed?
Wow.
And when I say "happened to you", it's at least when you where in the room.
Ok ok.
When I was in high school, I was with a guy. We did a scholar trip.
We waited for the dorm-room to be empty. There were some bunk beds.
We took the top one, and while we were... he fell from the bed and broke his arm.
- No way! - He did!
Everyone heard and came to see. I was naked in the bed, he was crying on the ground.
- He was naked too, then? - Naked and crying. Not funny to see.
- My story may be worse. - I'll judge.
One day, a girl peed in my bed after we had sex.
- What? - She did it. But it was an accident.
- But wait, she had a problem or what? - Why? Like what?
Who pee in bed? She was a preteen?
- She was 21 or 22. -Shit!
But she was taking a medication. It was some side effect.
Oh ok. How did you discover it?
I saw it. I woke up and she was sitting on a towel, cleaning the bed sheets.
If it was me, I would throw the bed sheets away, run home and stay here for a year.
- It was weird. - So what did you do? Just ran away?
No, I gave her some new bed sheets and took her in my arms.
Oh, so cute!... Wait... She changed the bed sheets or bought new ones?
- I cleaned them the next day. - Eew!
And I bought new ones later!
Ok. Cause if someone would pee in my bed, I couldn't keep the bed sheets.
The smell never goes away!
Note to myself: buy new bed sheets.
New category: what's the weirdest thing you did with a hamburger?
Created by Maykel Stone and Sidney Soriano
Do you realize we are together for three years?
Already three years that your brother and his husband left!
That's how you keep our anniversary in mind?
The two events are linked. You kissed me for the first time at their wedding.
And since this day we are in love.
In the beginning I thought you were a pain in the neck. But now it's good.
Seriously? You thought that?
You could have say it!
I could. But I didn't. Cause I love you.
And I saw where it leads for a couple to talk too much.
- Yeah, the break-up. - No, the wedding! Erk!
After three years we could take the biggest bedroom?
No, I already told you. I keep it in case they come back.
- It's been three years! - And they are still the landlords.
We are just tenants... who pay no rent.
By the way, I'm late.
What? I'm always using a condom! How can it be possible? It's like Jesus!
I'm late... to prepare the dinner. You know, the neighbors come tonight.
- You should relax. - But they come in six hours!
Yeah and I'm awful when it's about cooking.
"Boil some water".
I'm not a chemist!
You're right.
And I should start to drink right now. The night will be long.
You're rude with Alex and Audrey. They are our only friends and they are cool.
What about Greg and Margaret?
Seriously, try to be nice. They have a big announcement tonight.
Yeah and I can't imagine what. Audrey is too thin to be pregnant,
they are already married... so the only thing left is asking us for a foursome.
And don't even think about it!
I need your help to do some shopping.
- Can't you do it yourself? - No, I'm asking you!
You're never satisfied when it's me doing it! Things are missing or...
This is the picture of a lizard with a melon hat. A hat!
All your arguments are invalid.
Where is the shopping list?
Maykel?
These toasts are really good.
To be honest I used margarine instead of butter cause Nikolaus forgot to buy some.
- Still don't want kids? - No, she's afraid.
Our life is perfect this way why should we change?
- You don't want a mini-Nikolaus around? - That's the last thing I want.
I'll make her change her mind.
- I lived this once, it's enough. - What? Once already?
- She was a surrogate for my brother. - Do you mean...
Sounded better in my mind.
- Isobel lost a baby once. - You knew it?
Girls talk.
Could we stop talking about my ovaries? What is your big announcement?
- It won't be easy to say. - Can I do it?
- Audrey and I we'll... - Have a baby! Be president? Go hunt?
- Go shopping? - Could you stop and let them talk?
Alex and I are moving.
I didn't know it was so terrible.
You become friends with people and after three years, boom! They go away!
- We won't be far, we'll be in Metz. - Oh nice, it's only 100 miles!
- Try to calm down! - Who will we tell our problems to?
And who will keep my children when I work?
- Thought you don't want kids? - Shut up, witch!
- We open our door and you abandon us? - I'm sure you won't send a postcard.
No, cause it's not a trip!
See what you did? You should leave.
Did we throw away our friends and told us what we reproach to Maykel and Johannes?
Oh shit!
- I can't believe they throw us away! - I can't believe it's margarine!
What?
ENGLISH TRANSLATION Maykel Stone