1 00:00:01,253 --> 00:00:02,286 It's settled. 2 00:00:02,296 --> 00:00:05,407 The urinals in the women's restroom will be turned into planters. 3 00:00:05,423 --> 00:00:07,342 Onto chores. 4 00:00:07,358 --> 00:00:10,634 We need some able bodies to clear out a space in the east hall's storage room. 5 00:00:10,668 --> 00:00:11,834 - I'll do it. - Really? 6 00:00:11,856 --> 00:00:13,709 Yeah, Annie always goes from the easy chores to the hardest. 7 00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:14,891 That's true, isn't it? 8 00:00:14,926 --> 00:00:16,276 - I'll do it too. - Yeah, me too. 9 00:00:16,296 --> 00:00:17,896 Okay, that concludes this meeting. 10 00:00:17,922 --> 00:00:19,248 - Oh! - Aw, man! 11 00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,912 Nobody picks up on my patterns! What am I gonna say next? 12 00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,244 Graham cracker! You didn't know. 13 00:00:24,261 --> 00:00:26,308 Hey, it's the "aww couple." 14 00:00:26,321 --> 00:00:27,468 Aww. 15 00:00:27,484 --> 00:00:28,971 Look what Rachel got me: Pile of Bullets. 16 00:00:28,998 --> 00:00:31,484 An interactive Old West-themed VCR game from the '90s. 17 00:00:31,501 --> 00:00:32,628 I found it at goodwill. 18 00:00:32,644 --> 00:00:35,851 It was between a Thighmaster and a Dick Tracy Burger King glass. 19 00:00:35,873 --> 00:00:37,800 - Happy anniversary. - Anniversary? 20 00:00:37,812 --> 00:00:39,740 I guess I should learn your name, young lady. 21 00:00:39,755 --> 00:00:40,668 Oh, Rachel. 22 00:00:40,696 --> 00:00:42,756 Rachel. Nice to meet you, Rachel. 23 00:00:42,789 --> 00:00:45,078 - You can go. - Okay. 24 00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:48,019 - Aww! - Anniversary? 25 00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:49,890 Yeah, Rachel and I have been dating for one of your months, 26 00:00:49,909 --> 00:00:51,632 but our relationship is 12 times more efficient, 27 00:00:51,661 --> 00:00:53,731 so it's really been a year. Our sleep cycles are in synch, 28 00:00:53,764 --> 00:00:55,029 we can communicate with our eyebrows, 29 00:00:55,043 --> 00:00:57,483 and she knows my Netflix password... Jeff's Netflix password. 30 00:00:57,502 --> 00:00:58,670 Damn it. I'm changing that. 31 00:00:58,684 --> 00:00:59,684 - I changed it. - To what? 32 00:00:59,699 --> 00:01:02,406 Nice try. Annie, can Rachel come to our place to play this tonight? 33 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,538 I can't afford to take her anywhere. 34 00:01:03,557 --> 00:01:06,065 Well, my brother's in town for the week, 35 00:01:06,078 --> 00:01:08,332 and I'm broke too, so I was gonna make him dinner tonight. 36 00:01:08,345 --> 00:01:09,565 Cool. Double date? 37 00:01:09,595 --> 00:01:11,515 Dinner and 1993 interactive VCR game? 38 00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:12,764 - What are you making? - Salmon. 39 00:01:14,184 --> 00:01:16,017 - Buttered noodles. - Buttered noodles are my favorite. 40 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,417 - Hmm. - Ah! 41 00:01:17,443 --> 00:01:21,655 Quick announcement for two of Greendale's finest. 42 00:01:21,673 --> 00:01:24,929 Payday is postponed until next week. So this... 43 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:28,765 ...is my freestyle rap apology. 44 00:01:29,141 --> 00:01:30,224 ♪ Well, I'm a peanut bar ♪ 45 00:01:30,231 --> 00:01:31,569 ♪ And I'm here to say ♪ 46 00:01:31,582 --> 00:01:33,523 ♪ Your checks will arrive on another day ♪ 47 00:01:33,535 --> 00:01:36,086 ♪ Another day, another dime, another rhyme, another dollar ♪ 48 00:01:36,114 --> 00:01:38,327 ♪ Another stuffed shirt with another white collar ♪ 49 00:01:38,346 --> 00:01:40,269 ♪ Criminals, Wall Street, taking the pie ♪ 50 00:01:40,295 --> 00:01:42,729 ♪ And all the black man gets is a plate of white lies ♪ 51 00:01:42,747 --> 00:01:44,937 ♪ Prisons! Recruitin' 'em! Police be shootin' them ♪ 52 00:01:44,957 --> 00:01:47,248 ♪ Rap artists lootin' them, labels all dilutin' them ♪ 53 00:01:47,261 --> 00:01:49,621 ♪ Barack Obama is scared of me ♪ 54 00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:51,128 ♪ 'Cause I don't swallow knowledge ♪ 55 00:01:51,141 --> 00:01:52,481 ♪ And I spit it for free ♪ 56 00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:54,528 ♪ Let me clear my throat, ah-ha, ah-ha... ♪ 57 00:01:55,789 --> 00:01:58,424 I don't know what that was, I don't. 58 00:01:59,099 --> 00:02:00,991 I don't know what that was. 59 00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:13,275 ♪ Give me some rope ♪ 60 00:02:13,288 --> 00:02:14,952 ♪ Tie me to dream ♪ 61 00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,464 ♪ Give me the hope ♪ 62 00:02:16,477 --> 00:02:18,137 ♪ To run out of steam ♪ 63 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,596 ♪ Somebody said it can be here ♪ 64 00:02:21,623 --> 00:02:25,493 ♪ We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪ 65 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:30,584 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 66 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,762 ♪ One by one, they all just fade away ♪ 67 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:37,890 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 68 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,708 So nice to have the Edison kids under one roof again. 69 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:45,871 Remember when we used to cut carrots for mom? 70 00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:46,686 Yes. 71 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,869 - I need a soda. - Oh, okay. 72 00:02:49,817 --> 00:02:51,415 One, two, three. 73 00:02:53,646 --> 00:02:54,923 Door's busted. 74 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,935 Landlord's in jail and money's tight. 75 00:02:56,955 --> 00:02:58,240 Yeah. 76 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,902 Oh, my God! Anthony! Thank you! 77 00:03:10,915 --> 00:03:11,982 Yeah. 78 00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:14,556 - Hey, Abed, a quick word. - Hmm. 79 00:03:17,235 --> 00:03:19,269 What would you think about my brother moving in with us? 80 00:03:19,289 --> 00:03:22,043 - Do I just keep cutting carrots? - Yes, Anthony! 81 00:03:22,059 --> 00:03:25,721 - He has money. He's handy. - You're putting me on the spot. 82 00:03:25,743 --> 00:03:26,976 I guess my knee-jerk concern would be 83 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,538 that he's a Viking and might only use our home 84 00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:30,854 as a temporary base before moving inland where lumber is more plentiful. 85 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,455 He's a good guy. We can't afford to keep splitting the rent two ways. 86 00:03:33,461 --> 00:03:35,334 - You have a better idea? - How about Rachel? 87 00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,460 - Is that a joke? - Is it cool if I poop? 88 00:03:37,488 --> 00:03:39,831 No, Anthony! Just cut the carrots! 89 00:03:39,857 --> 00:03:41,323 You've been dating Rachel for a month. 90 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,873 I don't think you heard his question. The answer is yes! 91 00:03:45,749 --> 00:03:47,517 Rachel and I have been dating for the equivalent of a year. 92 00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:50,337 Oh, really? 'Cause I feel like I've been hearing about that for two years. 93 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,696 You can't just microwave a relationship like it's a bean burrito. 94 00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,602 - Annie. - I ain't living with your month-long girlfriend, brah. 95 00:03:54,621 --> 00:03:55,655 Well, I ain't living with your wack-ass, 96 00:03:55,659 --> 00:03:57,582 don't-know-whether-to-keep-cutting-carrots- or-ask-if-he-can-take-a-poop-brother. 97 00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:00,867 Can we discuss this later? Rachel's on her way, and I'd like to practice my smile. 98 00:04:03,099 --> 00:04:05,647 I guess it was just air. 99 00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:14,250 Why are we organizing a storage room? 100 00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:17,349 - How is this not a janitor's job? - Can I ask you something? 101 00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:19,634 Why the hell do you have all those muscles 102 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,867 if you're gonna bitch about moving boxes? 103 00:04:21,892 --> 00:04:23,172 Is the air working in here? 104 00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:25,166 I'm sweating like a Catholic on Judgment Day. 105 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:29,615 - Just a little protestant humor. I've got more. - Oh, can't wait. 106 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,913 Nothin'. 107 00:04:32,932 --> 00:04:36,317 Wait, there's something in there blocking the vent. 108 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:40,134 You gonna open it? You do realize nothing good has ever been found in a vent, right? 109 00:04:40,153 --> 00:04:41,816 It's a vent. 110 00:04:42,289 --> 00:04:44,096 Whoa. 111 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:46,485 Huh. 112 00:04:53,813 --> 00:04:55,162 Oh! 113 00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:58,969 Intro to Chemistry. Third edition. 114 00:05:02,008 --> 00:05:03,542 Mint. 115 00:05:03,561 --> 00:05:06,757 $200 retail. 160 on the street. 116 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:08,106 Why are there books in an air duct? 117 00:05:08,112 --> 00:05:10,023 Why is there hot sauce in the bathroom? 118 00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,740 - It's Greendale. - They must be stolen. 119 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,673 - We have to tell the Dean. - Hold on. 120 00:05:14,693 --> 00:05:20,305 Let's just calm down and have a slow, pleasant chat about possibilities. 121 00:05:20,324 --> 00:05:23,464 - What kind? - All kinds. Anything is possible. 122 00:05:23,477 --> 00:05:27,504 We might one day have hover cars. Kale might be poisonous. 123 00:05:27,541 --> 00:05:29,548 And we might not have to get the Dean involved here. 124 00:05:29,561 --> 00:05:31,916 - Jeffrey, these are stolen! - From who? 125 00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:33,666 By who? How long ago? 126 00:05:33,672 --> 00:05:36,888 It's "from whom," "by whom." But he nailed the third question. 127 00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:40,266 Look, we are the committee that deals with Greendale's problems. 128 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,713 Now did you see anything on our list about a pile of missing books 129 00:05:43,739 --> 00:05:46,533 - that are worth more than the school they're hidden in? - One thing's for sure. 130 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,921 If we hand these over, they'll really go missing. 131 00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:51,528 And you think that money's gonna be used to cut our paychecks 132 00:05:51,541 --> 00:05:54,321 or to make another rapping peanut costume? 133 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,910 - I can't believe what I'm hearing. - Fine. You wanna go to heaven? 134 00:05:56,943 --> 00:05:59,762 - Walk away, more for us. - I'm an accomplice now! 135 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:01,938 If I walk away, I'll only get into heaven by turning you in. 136 00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:05,322 But what about your restaurant? What about your kids? 137 00:06:05,921 --> 00:06:09,440 Ms. Bennett, when God talks to you, what language does he use? 138 00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:12,552 Because in my experience, when he thinks you deserve something, 139 00:06:12,558 --> 00:06:15,417 he drops it on you like a ton of bricks. 140 00:06:20,802 --> 00:06:23,447 Okay. All right. 141 00:06:23,471 --> 00:06:26,505 But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this clean and safe. 142 00:06:26,518 --> 00:06:28,284 We're gonna move these to my restaurant in bread carts, 143 00:06:28,297 --> 00:06:30,191 and we're gonna sit on 'em until we know they're cold. 144 00:06:30,197 --> 00:06:31,769 Then we're gonna price them through a third party, 145 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,756 and we're gonna unload them in a single score. 146 00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:36,969 None of that nickel-and-dime crap. I don't wanna leave a trail. 147 00:06:36,992 --> 00:06:38,932 - Yeah, great. - Wonderful. 148 00:06:38,951 --> 00:06:41,285 Okay, let's count these babies up. 149 00:06:41,305 --> 00:06:42,712 Yeah, great. 150 00:06:43,104 --> 00:06:47,043 When we were kids, Anthony and I would play Time Machine. 151 00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:50,304 We would go, "Oh, no! We're in Barbarian times! 152 00:06:50,317 --> 00:06:52,297 Quick! Back to the Time Machine!" 153 00:06:52,319 --> 00:06:56,781 And then we would run back to the Time Machine. 154 00:06:58,779 --> 00:07:00,159 It's true. 155 00:07:00,172 --> 00:07:03,186 I bet that's why Abed is like a brother to me. You guys are so alike. 156 00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:05,166 I can't accept that based on one time-machine story. 157 00:07:05,195 --> 00:07:07,814 Rachel, did you tell Annie about your Waterpik? 158 00:07:08,872 --> 00:07:12,023 I suppose now is as good a time as any. 159 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,405 - I own a Waterpik. - Annie has one too. 160 00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:16,240 You guys both care for your teeth the same amount. 161 00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:17,907 If you shared a bathroom, it'd go pretty smoothly. 162 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,307 Anthony said he could fix our cabinets. 163 00:07:19,326 --> 00:07:21,399 Rachel used to mop floors when she worked at Kmart. She mops good. 164 00:07:21,419 --> 00:07:24,264 Is this a real conversation or are we being bugged by the feds? 165 00:07:24,301 --> 00:07:26,015 Abed. 166 00:07:26,693 --> 00:07:28,256 Sidebar. 167 00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:34,270 What do you think happens after you die? 168 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:37,758 - I don't know. - You're lucky. 169 00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,144 - Stop trying to sell me on Rachel. - Stop pitching Anthony so hard. 170 00:07:42,176 --> 00:07:43,965 You're like ice cream cake out there... overkill. 171 00:07:43,984 --> 00:07:45,324 We need a roommate. We're broke. 172 00:07:45,337 --> 00:07:46,857 - I vote for Rachel. - I vote for Anthony. 173 00:07:46,870 --> 00:07:48,924 - Flip a coin? - No. Coins create parallel timelines. 174 00:07:48,943 --> 00:07:51,239 - Rock, paper, scissors? - That's a nine-sided coin. 175 00:07:52,895 --> 00:07:54,475 What about Pile of Bullets? 176 00:07:54,494 --> 00:08:00,652 You wanna decide on a roommate with a 1993 Old West-themed VCR game? 177 00:08:00,674 --> 00:08:02,147 If Rachel or I win, Rachel moves in. 178 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,941 If you or Anthony win, I'll politely surrender 179 00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:05,801 and count down the days until he eats me. 180 00:08:05,822 --> 00:08:07,655 All right, it's settled. 181 00:08:09,633 --> 00:08:11,604 - Is this working? - It's a handshake in progress. 182 00:08:13,131 --> 00:08:14,578 Who wants to play Pile of Bullets? 183 00:08:14,591 --> 00:08:15,818 - Not me. - You have to. 184 00:08:15,844 --> 00:08:18,251 - Oh, it's okay, we don't have to. - It's not okay. We do have to. 185 00:08:18,257 --> 00:08:19,831 We all have to, and one day we'll tell you why. 186 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:22,046 But for now, let's simply retire to the TV area. 187 00:08:22,059 --> 00:08:26,760 For the highest stakes 1993 interactive VCR game of your entire young adult lives. 188 00:08:31,419 --> 00:08:33,541 Okay, let's see what you got. 189 00:08:41,381 --> 00:08:43,688 Yeah. Okay. 190 00:08:43,716 --> 00:08:45,316 I know somebody that knows people. 191 00:08:45,329 --> 00:08:48,356 I can get you a price per book, find a buyer, and make a deal. 192 00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:49,963 - For half. - That's ridiculous. 193 00:08:49,976 --> 00:08:52,463 I'm assuming more than half the risk. 194 00:08:52,492 --> 00:08:54,219 - Half is fair. - Not really. 195 00:08:54,238 --> 00:08:58,879 Because they're ours, all 100% of them. Giving you half is not fair, it's silly. 196 00:08:58,898 --> 00:09:01,771 Okay, good luck. You wanna re-blindfold me? 197 00:09:01,784 --> 00:09:03,973 I know we're in E-9 in the east wing. 198 00:09:03,979 --> 00:09:06,253 I know that because it smells like weed. 199 00:09:06,266 --> 00:09:08,100 Not my weed. 200 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,174 Look, I'm willing to give her half. 201 00:09:11,192 --> 00:09:13,099 Hear that, Britta? You can have half of Jeff's share. 202 00:09:13,112 --> 00:09:14,021 That's not what I meant. 203 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,054 That's what you're offering by giving her half of the total. 204 00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:18,839 Either she can get half of all of our money or she can get half of your share. 205 00:09:18,865 --> 00:09:20,826 Either way, you walk away with about 16%. 206 00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:22,355 - That's not fair. - Damn right. 207 00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:24,896 Here's what is: 25% for each of us. 208 00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:26,740 Take it or leave it, Britta. 209 00:09:26,768 --> 00:09:28,735 ♪ Legalize it ♪ 210 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,346 ♪ Don't Chang... ♪ 211 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,672 Hey, guys. 212 00:09:37,063 --> 00:09:38,050 Hey. 213 00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:41,471 Look, if something sketchy is happening, I don't care. 214 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,717 So I'm just gonna back out of the room now and... 215 00:09:44,746 --> 00:09:45,899 He can't leave. 216 00:09:47,014 --> 00:09:48,123 No! No! 217 00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:50,654 I didn't see anything. I did not see anything! 218 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:54,116 - Britta, find some rope. - I've got rope. 219 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:56,905 "Each player starts with six bullet tokens, 220 00:09:56,925 --> 00:10:01,117 ten gold certificates, and a color-coded posse token." 221 00:10:01,162 --> 00:10:04,090 - There's two types of tokens? - I'm sure we'll figure it out. 222 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,714 Howdy! 223 00:10:06,735 --> 00:10:09,035 You look like a real group of gunslingers. 224 00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:10,771 Everyone in town's mighty scared, 225 00:10:10,797 --> 00:10:13,298 what with all the gold and the outlaws. 226 00:10:13,335 --> 00:10:15,828 But only one of us can make it out alive. 227 00:10:15,847 --> 00:10:17,192 Are we robbing the town? 228 00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:20,382 By now, you should have your bullets, your gold, 229 00:10:20,409 --> 00:10:22,542 and two Wild West tokens each. 230 00:10:22,565 --> 00:10:24,838 Hang onto those tokens no matter what. 231 00:10:24,974 --> 00:10:26,939 - There's two kinds of tokens. - Two each? 232 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,506 Now when you hear the word "draw," 233 00:10:29,532 --> 00:10:32,005 or when you see a square with a color or number matching 234 00:10:32,025 --> 00:10:35,752 one of you or your opponent's cards, the first one of you to say, "bang," 235 00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:40,112 wins the challenged player's token and the amount of their bid in gold! 236 00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:41,399 - What's going on? - Shh! 237 00:10:41,426 --> 00:10:42,379 - Ready? - Yes? 238 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,901 - I'm not. - Shh! 239 00:10:53,617 --> 00:10:55,153 - Are we supposed to be bidding? - Draw! 240 00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:56,453 - I bid! - Pow! Bang! 241 00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:57,626 Rattler! 242 00:10:57,655 --> 00:10:59,797 - Bang! 5! - Bang? - Yee-haw! 243 00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:00,964 - Bang-bang! 5! - Bang? 244 00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:02,311 Not bad! 245 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:05,320 Collect your tokens and let's get on to the next round! 246 00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:07,730 - What are you doing? Stop that. - He said, "Collect your tokens." 247 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:11,154 - He can't see you. - Didn't Abed shoot whoever's 5? 248 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,573 - Draw! - Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! 249 00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,994 Odd-numbered players, give up two cards! 250 00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,293 - Draw! - We have numbers? 251 00:11:17,313 --> 00:11:19,206 Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. 252 00:11:19,213 --> 00:11:20,714 Okay, okay, I don't think we're doing this right. 253 00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:22,963 Are we sure this is a game and not some art film? 254 00:11:22,989 --> 00:11:25,089 - Now what do we do? - We rewind it and start over. 255 00:11:25,112 --> 00:11:27,455 - Okay, I'll allow it. - No, it's okay. 256 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,856 We gave it our best shot, no? 257 00:11:29,736 --> 00:11:31,884 I'm sorry, Rachel, is this your home? 258 00:11:31,897 --> 00:11:33,357 Oh, God, no, I'm sorry. 259 00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:35,655 - Well, this is what we're playing. - But it doesn't make any sense. 260 00:11:35,674 --> 00:11:37,398 Oh! It sounds like Anthony wants to forfeit. 261 00:11:37,418 --> 00:11:40,680 - He doesn't. Don't forfeit, Anthony. - Rachel, we can do this. 262 00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:42,041 Just focus, okay? 263 00:11:42,056 --> 00:11:44,455 - Okay... - Okay. 264 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,481 - Howdy! - Howdy. 265 00:11:49,403 --> 00:11:52,247 I love textbooks. That's why I stole these. 266 00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:54,060 - All right, knock it off. - What? 267 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:58,470 You gotta make it sound believable or you're not getting outta here. 268 00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,599 - I'm trying. - Try harder! 269 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,423 Go. 270 00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,517 I love textbooks. 271 00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,369 That's why I stole them. 272 00:12:08,389 --> 00:12:10,662 Mm. Look at this one. 273 00:12:12,726 --> 00:12:14,833 Stolen textbooks are the best kind. 274 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:18,862 I stole all these books and put 'em in this room so I could come kiss them. 275 00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:20,688 That's all, thank you. 276 00:12:20,995 --> 00:12:23,388 Please, I'm on parole! 277 00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:24,395 Exactly. 278 00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:27,109 So keep your mouth shut or we'll send this file to everybody. 279 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,142 What do you mean "everybody"? 280 00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:32,049 Everybody! 281 00:12:34,109 --> 00:12:36,002 - Look, I can't do this anymore. - What? 282 00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:38,868 I'm out. It's too far, it's too... 283 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,495 evil. 284 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:44,360 Look, you guys can split the money. I'm just gonna leave quietly. 285 00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:45,980 Good-bye. 286 00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:52,305 What the hell? 287 00:12:52,345 --> 00:12:53,725 - Yeah? - What the hell? Ow! 288 00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:55,492 I can't let you leave until we're done with this deal. 289 00:12:55,511 --> 00:12:58,118 Shirley, this is not what God wants you to be doing today! 290 00:12:58,124 --> 00:12:59,791 We had our chance to think about that. 291 00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:02,354 He dropped this on us like a ton of bricks. Right, Hickey? 292 00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:04,089 Oh, yeah, definitely. 293 00:13:04,123 --> 00:13:06,236 Not to say that this isn't getting insane. 294 00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:10,487 Blackhat Bill sure ain't the forgivin' type. 295 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,190 - You! Green player! - Yes, partner? 296 00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:14,512 - You can do better than that, can't you? - Yes, pard-ner! 297 00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,422 - Pick another player that you want to draw a cactus card. - I choose Anthony! 298 00:13:17,442 --> 00:13:18,942 Anthony, draw a card. 299 00:13:20,013 --> 00:13:22,708 Oh! This is a good one. Keep this for when you're in a quick draw. 300 00:13:22,743 --> 00:13:24,090 - Rachel, your turn! - What do I do? 301 00:13:24,109 --> 00:13:25,570 You roll, you roll. Here. 302 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,072 - There. My turn. - Stop! Snake bite! Lose a turn. 303 00:13:28,102 --> 00:13:29,535 - Anti-venom. - I'll take two. 304 00:13:29,549 --> 00:13:30,709 - Draw! - Bang! 305 00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:32,197 - Okay, I bid 5 bullets. - I raise 6. 306 00:13:32,219 --> 00:13:33,753 - 11. - Pass. Reverse! 307 00:13:33,787 --> 00:13:35,160 - Hold it! Yee-haw! 308 00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:37,513 Did you remember to say "yee-haw"? 309 00:13:37,537 --> 00:13:39,964 Anyone that didn't loses a turn. 310 00:13:39,984 --> 00:13:41,451 Collect your coins! 311 00:13:41,471 --> 00:13:43,757 Anthony, I'll trade you two snakes for a bullet. 312 00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,996 - Just say yes! - I don't wanna die. 313 00:13:46,015 --> 00:13:47,475 - Stop her, Rachel, stop her! - Bang? 314 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,055 No! Bid 5! 315 00:13:49,082 --> 00:13:51,489 - Tornado! - Tornado! 316 00:13:51,509 --> 00:13:53,059 - 9 tornado! - Pass! 7! 317 00:13:53,072 --> 00:13:54,635 - Reverse! - 2 tornado! 318 00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:55,395 - Pass! - Double! 319 00:13:55,408 --> 00:13:56,708 - Draw! - Bang! 320 00:13:57,592 --> 00:13:59,185 Oh, come on. 321 00:13:59,216 --> 00:14:01,344 - You son of a bitch! - Come on. 322 00:14:01,977 --> 00:14:03,044 Come on, come on. 323 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:05,693 - Come on, come on. - Come on! 324 00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:11,555 If one of you rolled your bullet number, you're the winner! 325 00:14:11,568 --> 00:14:15,091 Fast-forward to the red screen to get your gold. 326 00:14:16,299 --> 00:14:19,299 Well, more food for the buzzards. 327 00:14:19,329 --> 00:14:21,711 Looks like modern times... 328 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,707 have come after all. 329 00:14:24,729 --> 00:14:26,169 See ya in the city. 330 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,323 I wanna go home. 331 00:14:27,336 --> 00:14:28,956 - Me too. - No, we have to play again. 332 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:32,009 Abed, I think you're having one of your special times, okay? 333 00:14:32,029 --> 00:14:33,169 So I'm gonna give you some space. 334 00:14:33,182 --> 00:14:34,655 I don't want space. I want you to move in here. 335 00:14:34,672 --> 00:14:35,785 - What? - But that's not resolved! 336 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,280 - Anthony might move in, so... - What? 337 00:14:37,307 --> 00:14:38,494 We want one of you to live with us. 338 00:14:38,516 --> 00:14:40,680 Yeah, we're settling it with a game of Pile of Bullets. 339 00:14:41,517 --> 00:14:46,284 That is not an explanation that should make anybody want to live here. 340 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,705 Abed, I don't like this side of you, 341 00:14:50,728 --> 00:14:53,581 and I do not like that side of VCR technology. 342 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,028 I am glad that it's a dead medium. 343 00:14:56,054 --> 00:14:57,987 That was very uncomfortable. 344 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,441 I don't really know how girlfriends work, 345 00:15:05,456 --> 00:15:08,305 but I don't think you have one anymore. 346 00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:17,670 Okay, cool. See you there. 347 00:15:17,704 --> 00:15:20,461 I'm meeting my guy in an hour. He wants to see a sample, set a price, 348 00:15:20,474 --> 00:15:21,768 and then we'll do the exchange. 349 00:15:22,168 --> 00:15:23,348 Oh, brother. 350 00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:24,850 So Britta doesn't know how much she's getting 351 00:15:24,863 --> 00:15:26,685 from this guy that none of us will ever see again. 352 00:15:26,705 --> 00:15:29,018 But she knows one thing for sure: 353 00:15:29,024 --> 00:15:33,195 She'll be right back with it so you can divvy it up, even Steven. 354 00:15:36,779 --> 00:15:38,477 Oh, man, that is rich. 355 00:15:38,497 --> 00:15:40,808 What's supposed to stop her from robbing you guys blind? 356 00:15:40,821 --> 00:15:42,213 What are you gonna do, call the cops? 357 00:15:42,235 --> 00:15:44,363 - I'll go with her. - Oh, yeah. Good plan. 358 00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:46,730 Yeah, leave Hickey here, and the two of you do the deal. 359 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,794 Yeah, what the hell? When did I volunteer for Guantanamo duty 360 00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:54,574 while you two traipse off to the Cuban equivalent of Las Vegas? 361 00:15:54,594 --> 00:15:58,067 - Havana, right? - Guys, don't listen to Jeff. He's just trying to divide us. 362 00:15:58,086 --> 00:16:01,546 Says the woman who's willing to take care of the cash by herself. 363 00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:03,535 As if you're Mr. Trustworthy. 364 00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:05,544 Why do you have so much access to rope? 365 00:16:05,566 --> 00:16:08,760 Hey, you're the one who left the door unlocked so Chang could get in here. 366 00:16:08,773 --> 00:16:10,592 How do I know you didn't do that on purpose? 367 00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:13,965 Guys. Guys! Calm down. 368 00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:18,322 I'm sure we can work this out. We just need to stay cool and talk it through. 369 00:16:19,192 --> 00:16:22,963 I'm sorry. That didn't work out the way I planned. 370 00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:26,557 I'm sorry. But you didn't leave me any choice. 371 00:16:26,584 --> 00:16:29,570 You were acting very poorly, I didn't know if I could trust you anymore! 372 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,036 You dragged me into this. 373 00:16:32,038 --> 00:16:33,369 I didn't want this. 374 00:16:33,406 --> 00:16:34,906 Huh? 375 00:16:39,552 --> 00:16:41,939 - You're packing? - Yeah. 376 00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:43,693 - You're leaving? - Yeah. 377 00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:45,745 - Because of last night? - Yeah. 378 00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:48,787 I just think there's some unresolved issues here. 379 00:16:48,813 --> 00:16:50,460 You're right. 380 00:16:50,482 --> 00:16:55,475 I'm still really hurt by mom turning her back on me when I went to rehab. 381 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:59,786 And I guess part of me was mad at you for siding with her, 382 00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:04,084 so I thought you moving in here was some kind of moral victory. 383 00:17:04,097 --> 00:17:05,537 What? No. 384 00:17:05,564 --> 00:17:08,477 I mean unresolved issues involving the black guy in all these photographs. 385 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:10,192 - Troy? - Hey, I don't know his name, man. 386 00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:12,808 I just know he's clearly left some kind of vacuum. 387 00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:15,820 And screw you. What did I have to do with mom? 388 00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:17,575 I was 13. 389 00:17:24,102 --> 00:17:25,869 - Hey. - Hi. 390 00:17:25,904 --> 00:17:27,331 I'm here to do my third-act apology. 391 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:28,833 - Abed, I don't think... - Wait. 392 00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:31,413 Don't reject it until the whole thing's been served up. 393 00:17:31,429 --> 00:17:32,914 Dobry. 394 00:17:33,471 --> 00:17:35,296 Open your locker please. 395 00:17:43,175 --> 00:17:45,295 - Hey. - Hey. 396 00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:47,810 - I wanna tell you something. - Abed, this is adorable. 397 00:17:47,823 --> 00:17:50,136 Just because it's adorable doesn't mean it's not important. 398 00:17:50,154 --> 00:17:51,467 Listen. 399 00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:53,883 I've been accelerating our relationship 400 00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:56,598 because I've been worried I wouldn't pass a lot of the tests. 401 00:17:56,621 --> 00:17:57,921 I wanted you to move in because I thought 402 00:17:57,941 --> 00:18:00,210 if Annie was around, I'd have less chance of screwing things up. 403 00:18:00,224 --> 00:18:02,764 You're not screwing things up, though. 404 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,634 That's good to know. 405 00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:07,820 But the problem with me will always be that I can never know for sure. 406 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,053 There's not a huge amount of people in my life that haven't eventually 407 00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:13,683 kicked me out, and I don't always see it coming. 408 00:18:14,602 --> 00:18:16,289 I don't want it to happen with you. 409 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:20,601 Well, don't manipulate me and don't keep secrets from me and we'll probably be okay. 410 00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:23,150 Cool. 411 00:18:23,996 --> 00:18:26,091 It stopped raining. 412 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:28,937 Yeah, it sure did. 413 00:18:32,087 --> 00:18:34,161 Aww, you hired a stunt person. 414 00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,923 No, I did not. 415 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,647 Where'd you get these? 416 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,527 They were an inheritance from my father. 417 00:18:42,547 --> 00:18:44,694 - He was a collector. - Mmhmm. 418 00:18:45,253 --> 00:18:47,613 - How many? - 120. 419 00:18:47,635 --> 00:18:49,542 Well, for the whole bunch, maybe 20. 420 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,442 - Thousand? - Dollars. 421 00:18:50,468 --> 00:18:52,545 - $20,000? - 20 non-thousand dollars. 422 00:18:52,581 --> 00:18:55,494 20 regular dollars. You might get that from a recycling place. 423 00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:59,077 These are misprints, honey. Check out page 105. 424 00:18:59,093 --> 00:19:00,900 Well, I can't because there's no page numbers. 425 00:19:00,915 --> 00:19:04,986 Ah! Well, that would be a problem. You know, "Class, turn to page..." 426 00:19:05,006 --> 00:19:06,214 There is no page... 427 00:19:06,241 --> 00:19:08,686 Oh, well, if there's no page number, you can't turn to it. 428 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:11,522 I've better things to do with my life. 429 00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:28,735 Although we haven't been saying it, 430 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,872 Troy was an important part of our apartment. 431 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:34,364 - He kept the peace. - Yeah. 432 00:19:34,391 --> 00:19:36,984 Goin' a little crazy without him. 433 00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:39,600 Maybe we need to live with a therapist. 434 00:19:39,616 --> 00:19:41,647 Or at least someone crazier than us. 435 00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:51,564 - Let's give Craigslist another try. - I think Craigslist is the way to go. 436 00:19:51,594 --> 00:19:53,257 - Yeah, that's a good idea. - Yeah. 437 00:19:53,296 --> 00:19:55,716 Are you guys all wearing the same clothes from yesterday? 438 00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:58,367 - We've been through some stuff. - But we learned something. 439 00:19:58,387 --> 00:19:59,727 No, we didn't. 440 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,068 We learned that sometimes there's no lesson. 441 00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,150 - How is that learning? - We played Pile of Bullets. 442 00:20:04,163 --> 00:20:05,446 Can we just get this meeting over with? 443 00:20:05,466 --> 00:20:07,342 - So how'd the cleanup go? - I learned how to smile. 444 00:20:07,362 --> 00:20:09,235 Don't step, don't step to me. 445 00:20:09,248 --> 00:20:11,869 I like coffee and water, don't step to me. 446 00:20:11,888 --> 00:20:15,392 Uh, damn it! I lost it. I lost it! 447 00:20:17,807 --> 00:20:21,687 Okay. I will get back to you. Thanks. 448 00:20:21,949 --> 00:20:24,122 - Who was that, sweetie? - Guess they want me for that 449 00:20:24,155 --> 00:20:26,859 Wild West videotape board game thing. 450 00:20:27,697 --> 00:20:29,833 - Pile of Bullets? - Yeah. 451 00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:33,528 Devin, you pick up that phone right now 452 00:20:33,547 --> 00:20:36,175 and you call these people and you tell 'em you want this part. 453 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:40,320 These VCR games is where everything is headed. 454 00:20:40,346 --> 00:20:41,493 Can't you see that? 455 00:20:41,521 --> 00:20:45,395 You just became the Luke Skywalker 456 00:20:45,408 --> 00:20:46,855 of the new Star Wars. 457 00:20:46,873 --> 00:20:48,400 - We've gotta move. - We do? 458 00:20:48,426 --> 00:20:49,627 Oh, yes, indeedy. 459 00:20:49,655 --> 00:20:52,518 We have got to move to Los Angeles. 460 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,967 - But I work here. - Oh, please. 461 00:20:54,994 --> 00:20:57,127 You call Apple computers work? 462 00:20:57,150 --> 00:21:01,390 What kind of company offers stock options as a Christmas bonus? 463 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:03,599 That ship is sinkin'. 464 00:21:04,976 --> 00:21:08,204 Sweetie, remember when we were talkin' about trying cocaine? 465 00:21:08,217 --> 00:21:09,831 Yeah... 466 00:21:09,856 --> 00:21:13,016 I think we should start looking for some right now. 467 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,919 Because we're gonna be able to afford it. 468 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,201 Okay. I mean, if you're sure. 469 00:21:18,224 --> 00:21:21,797 I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life. 470 00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:25,168 - Pile of Bullets. - Pile of Bullets. 471 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,062 Oh, yes! 472 00:21:28,102 --> 00:21:35,102 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther