1
00:00:04,044 --> 00:00:05,945
How you doin'?

2
00:00:09,583 --> 00:00:11,451
What's up, boo?

3
00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:14,253
What's happening here?

4
00:00:14,321 --> 00:00:15,921
What? Uh...

5
00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:19,158
You promise
not to tell anybody?

6
00:00:19,226 --> 00:00:20,926
Nope.

7
00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,128
All right, fine.
Um, I'm about to ask Jude out.

8
00:00:23,163 --> 00:00:24,396
On a date?

9
00:00:24,431 --> 00:00:27,299
No, for a gunfight
at high noon.

10
00:00:27,334 --> 00:00:29,301
Dating a co-worker, huh?

11
00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:31,337
You know,
they say you don't want

12
00:00:31,371 --> 00:00:33,472
to dip your pen
in the company ink.

13
00:00:33,506 --> 00:00:34,940
Yep.

14
00:00:34,975 --> 00:00:36,976
You don't want
to get your nookie

15
00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,577
where you get your cookie.

16
00:00:38,612 --> 00:00:40,346
Never heard that, but okay.

17
00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:42,648
If you both punch the clock,
don't show her your...

18
00:00:42,682 --> 00:00:44,316
Yeah, I got it.

19
00:00:45,585 --> 00:00:47,686
Anyway, don't tell the other guys that
I'm gonna ask her out, all right?

20
00:00:47,721 --> 00:00:49,601
'Cause I don't even know
if she's gonna say yes.

21
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:51,724
Hey, Milo.
What are you doing here?

22
00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:52,691
Hey. Oh.

23
00:00:52,726 --> 00:00:54,293
Just stopped by

24
00:00:54,327 --> 00:00:56,295
to see if Tyler wanted
to grab a drink after work.

25
00:00:56,329 --> 00:00:58,297
And then...
I realized that he couldn't

26
00:00:58,331 --> 00:00:59,632
because I'm busy.

27
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,502
You didn't realize you were busy
until you showed up here?

28
00:01:03,536 --> 00:01:05,271
Yeah.
It could happen.

29
00:01:06,439 --> 00:01:09,275
Well, I'll...
Leave you two alone.

30
00:01:09,309 --> 00:01:11,143
Uh...

31
00:01:11,177 --> 00:01:12,444
- Jude?
- Yo.

32
00:01:12,479 --> 00:01:15,147
Do you want to maybe
grab a drink after work?

33
00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:16,248
Oh, yeah.
That'd be great.

34
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:17,516
Oh. Cool. Perfect.

35
00:01:17,550 --> 00:01:19,151
Um, I was thinking
we could go to this...

36
00:01:19,185 --> 00:01:20,152
Hey, guys. Me and Tyler
were gonna grab a drink.

37
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:21,353
You guys want to come?

38
00:01:21,388 --> 00:01:23,589
- Absolutely.
- Yeah. Sounds good.

39
00:01:25,225 --> 00:01:27,259
Oh, uh...
Hey, Neal and Gibbs,

40
00:01:27,327 --> 00:01:29,762
I remembered
I was gonna ask you guys

41
00:01:29,796 --> 00:01:32,431
if tonight
you could help me... move.

42
00:01:32,465 --> 00:01:34,333
Move?
You found a new place?

43
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,502
Oh, "move"? No, I didn't...
Mean to say "move."

44
00:01:36,536 --> 00:01:39,271
I meant "groove."

45
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:42,374
You know, like, uh,
like, uh, like dancing.

46
00:01:42,409 --> 00:01:45,511
You want Gibbs and Neal
to help you dance?

47
00:01:45,578 --> 00:01:47,079
Yeah.

48
00:01:47,113 --> 00:01:48,213
No.

49
00:01:48,248 --> 00:01:50,649
I just thought that,
you know...

50
00:01:50,717 --> 00:01:54,186
Maybe my moves could use
a little fine-tuning...

51
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,388
From the fresh factory.

52
00:01:57,457 --> 00:02:00,192
Gibbs and Neal
are the fresh factory?

53
00:02:01,394 --> 00:02:02,628
Ohh.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

54
00:02:02,662 --> 00:02:04,263
Back in the '80s,

55
00:02:04,297 --> 00:02:06,231
they were in this massive
break-dancing troupe...

56
00:02:06,266 --> 00:02:07,800
You need to stop talking.

57
00:02:09,402 --> 00:02:10,636
Milo, do you want to join us?

58
00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:12,805
Yeah, I could
really use a drink.

59
00:02:12,839 --> 00:02:14,640
Oh, right.

60
00:02:14,674 --> 00:02:16,809
I'm a terrible friend.

61
00:02:18,122 --> 00:02:21,122
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com

62
00:02:21,848 --> 00:02:23,449
Have you seen that
cellphone commercial

63
00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:25,050
where the old guy
is telling the younger guy

64
00:02:25,085 --> 00:02:26,552
not to be afraid of love?

65
00:02:26,586 --> 00:02:28,554
Oh, my God. I'm tearing up
just thinking about it.

66
00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:29,788
I saw it.

67
00:02:29,823 --> 00:02:31,357
And then you realize
that the old guy

68
00:02:31,424 --> 00:02:33,692
is talking to a younger
version of himself,

69
00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:35,661
and he says, "hold on to her."

70
00:02:35,695 --> 00:02:37,162
She's worth it."

71
00:02:37,197 --> 00:02:38,597
Oh, God. Here we go.

72
00:02:38,631 --> 00:02:41,333
I haven't seen
that commercial yet,

73
00:02:41,368 --> 00:02:43,869
But you paint
a pretty beautiful picture.

74
00:02:45,238 --> 00:02:46,271
Have you seen that one, Gibbs?

75
00:02:46,306 --> 00:02:47,406
Yeah, I saw it.
It was cute.

76
00:02:49,709 --> 00:02:51,210
It's cute?

77
00:02:51,244 --> 00:02:52,845
It didn't move you?

78
00:02:52,879 --> 00:02:55,381
Not really. I'm happy
with my cellphone plan.

79
00:02:56,649 --> 00:02:57,783
Wow.

80
00:02:57,817 --> 00:02:59,618
You are quite the robot.

81
00:02:59,652 --> 00:03:00,719
What...

82
00:03:00,754 --> 00:03:02,388
Oh! I'm gonna
grab that booth.

83
00:03:02,422 --> 00:03:04,289
What do you mean you don't cry?

84
00:03:04,324 --> 00:03:06,725
Well  here we are,

85
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,861
free from the confines
of the office.

86
00:03:08,895 --> 00:03:09,828
Yep.

87
00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:11,296
No more rules.

88
00:03:11,331 --> 00:03:12,564
Guess not.

89
00:03:12,599 --> 00:03:13,665
You know, it's funny...

90
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,567
When I asked you to come here,

91
00:03:15,635 --> 00:03:17,369
I kind of meant
just you and me...

92
00:03:17,404 --> 00:03:19,138
Sorry I'm late.

93
00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:21,840
I was walking in, and
the craziest thing happened...

94
00:03:21,875 --> 00:03:23,709
A girl smiled at me.

95
00:03:24,744 --> 00:03:26,111
Hey, here's an idea...

96
00:03:26,146 --> 00:03:27,513
Why don't you go back
and talk to her?

97
00:03:27,547 --> 00:03:29,448
You think? Or bring
her over here.

98
00:03:29,516 --> 00:03:32,351
Or bring yourself over there.

99
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:33,652
Eh, what's the point?

100
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,587
We make some small talk,
go home together,

101
00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:37,256
and best-case scenario,

102
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,191
we end up awkwardly trying
to please each other?

103
00:03:39,225 --> 00:03:42,661
Wow. You are
one miserable son of a bitch.

104
00:03:42,695 --> 00:03:45,564
You must have cried when
your grandparents passed away.

105
00:03:45,598 --> 00:03:47,466
They lived long lives.

106
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,535
It was their time.

107
00:03:49,602 --> 00:03:51,103
Childhood pet?

108
00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:52,171
Never had one.

109
00:03:52,205 --> 00:03:53,739
- You never had a pet?
- Mnh-mnh.

110
00:03:53,807 --> 00:03:55,808
Not even a dog or a kitty

111
00:03:55,842 --> 00:03:58,243
or a  fuzzy...

112
00:03:58,278 --> 00:03:59,711
Oh, boy. Here we go.

113
00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:03,515
Okay, this is going oddly well.

114
00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:06,285
She just asked if I wanted
to head back to her place.

115
00:04:06,319 --> 00:04:07,486
What'd you say?

116
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,321
Nothing yet.
Ran over to tell you guys.

117
00:04:10,356 --> 00:04:11,423
Why?

118
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:12,858
I thought you'd want to know.

119
00:04:12,892 --> 00:04:14,493
Why do you
keep coming over here?

120
00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:16,361
Oh, I can't believe
you actually like me,

121
00:04:16,429 --> 00:04:18,330
so I'm seeking confirmation
from my friends.

122
00:04:19,532 --> 00:04:21,667
Wow. You are so funny.

123
00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:23,402
No one else seems to think so.

124
00:04:24,704 --> 00:04:26,672
Stop it.

125
00:04:26,706 --> 00:04:28,507
Let me grab my jacket.

126
00:04:31,444 --> 00:04:32,411
Ah, well.

127
00:04:34,714 --> 00:04:36,882
She wants you to go with her.

128
00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:38,750
Oh! Okay.

129
00:04:41,921 --> 00:04:45,491
You've never cried
in your entire life?

130
00:04:45,525 --> 00:04:47,526
Well, there was one time.

131
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,428
I knew it.
Tell me the story.

132
00:04:49,496 --> 00:04:52,364
I was 8. It was the evening
before Christmas.

133
00:04:52,432 --> 00:04:53,699
You mean Christmas Eve?

134
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:56,168
Who's telling this story?

135
00:04:56,202 --> 00:04:58,637
It was the evening
before Christmas,

136
00:04:58,671 --> 00:05:00,639
and all year long,
I'd been asking my parents

137
00:05:00,673 --> 00:05:02,508
to get me the "great
santorini" magic kit.

138
00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:04,643
And I knew my mom
hid the presents in her closet,

139
00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:06,512
so I snuck in there
to see what she got me.

140
00:05:06,546 --> 00:05:07,813
And there it was.

141
00:05:07,847 --> 00:05:09,815
I could hardly sleep,
I was so excited...

142
00:05:09,849 --> 00:05:11,350
Until the next morning,

143
00:05:11,417 --> 00:05:13,418
when my cousins came over
to open presents.

144
00:05:16,789 --> 00:05:19,892
A "great santorini" magic kit!

145
00:05:19,926 --> 00:05:22,427
I didn't even want it, but yes!

146
00:05:22,462 --> 00:05:24,229
Whoa!

147
00:05:25,932 --> 00:05:28,567
"A young person's guide
to the weather"?

148
00:05:35,775 --> 00:05:38,343
That was the last time I cried.

149
00:05:38,378 --> 00:05:40,712
So,
you never got your magic kit?

150
00:05:40,747 --> 00:05:42,347
Nope.

151
00:05:42,382 --> 00:05:44,917
But I did learn the difference
between hail and sleet.

152
00:05:46,386 --> 00:05:49,388
You know what? I'm just gonna
lay my cards on the table.

153
00:05:49,422 --> 00:05:51,490
Do you want to get out of here
and grab a quiet drink,

154
00:05:51,524 --> 00:05:52,691
just you and me?

155
00:05:53,693 --> 00:05:54,927
Look, Tyler, I'm flattered,

156
00:05:54,961 --> 00:05:56,628
but I just don't think
it's a good idea

157
00:05:56,696 --> 00:05:58,597
for people who work together
to get involved.

158
00:05:58,631 --> 00:05:59,998
Oh.

159
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:02,434
What, you thought
I was asking you on a date?

160
00:06:02,468 --> 00:06:04,670
That is so funny.

161
00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:07,487
Are you buying this at all?

162
00:06:07,507 --> 00:06:09,007
- Not really.
- I didn't think so.

163
00:06:09,042 --> 00:06:10,609
Oh, crap.

164
00:06:10,643 --> 00:06:12,344
Hey,
what are you doing back there?

165
00:06:12,412 --> 00:06:15,013
Jude Cavanaugh?

166
00:06:15,048 --> 00:06:17,349
Ted!

167
00:06:17,383 --> 00:06:18,650
Hey!

168
00:06:18,685 --> 00:06:20,519
Tyler, this is Ted Spence.

169
00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:22,888
We used to work together
at the Atlantic.

170
00:06:22,922 --> 00:06:25,557
You know, I'm over at CNN now.

171
00:06:25,592 --> 00:06:27,926
I actually just got back
from Haiti for the earthquakes.

172
00:06:27,961 --> 00:06:30,429
Before that, I was in Sao Paulo
for the nuclear meltdowns

173
00:06:30,496 --> 00:06:31,964
and then in Greece
for the riots.

174
00:06:31,998 --> 00:06:34,733
Man, you do not have good luck
when you travel.

175
00:06:36,069 --> 00:06:39,304
So, Jude, somebody said
they saw a piece of yours

176
00:06:39,339 --> 00:06:41,440
in something called...
Full Steam?

177
00:06:41,474 --> 00:06:42,808
Oh! Now I remember.

178
00:06:42,842 --> 00:06:45,811
I-it was a story
on personal grooming.

179
00:06:45,845 --> 00:06:48,947
Was it called
"taint misbehaving"?

180
00:06:51,584 --> 00:06:52,684
Possibly.

181
00:06:54,087 --> 00:06:57,589
Well, let's grab lunch
when we're both back in town.

182
00:06:57,624 --> 00:06:58,657
Definitely.

183
00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:02,794
Bye.

184
00:07:02,829 --> 00:07:05,297
Two double whiskeys.

185
00:07:05,365 --> 00:07:08,700
A good cry can be healthy,
Gibbs. It's cathartic.

186
00:07:08,735 --> 00:07:10,002
It's just not something I do.

187
00:07:10,036 --> 00:07:11,436
You could do it.

188
00:07:11,471 --> 00:07:13,572
I mean...
I could get you to cry.

189
00:07:13,606 --> 00:07:15,774
I don't think so.

190
00:07:15,808 --> 00:07:17,342
You know what?

191
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:19,911
For your own good
and my own entertainment,

192
00:07:19,979 --> 00:07:21,680
I'm gonna make you cry.

193
00:07:21,714 --> 00:07:22,948
You're really not.

194
00:07:25,351 --> 00:07:26,918
Daddy?

195
00:07:26,953 --> 00:07:27,886
Daddy?!

196
00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:36,828
Hey.

197
00:07:36,863 --> 00:07:38,830
Can we get the check?

198
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,398
Tyler, you are very sweet,

199
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,066
but I didn't need you
to get me home.

200
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,535
Well, I think you did.

201
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:52,038
You tried to pay for the cab
with a Starbucks card.

202
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:56,208
I was just mad that he
wouldn't let me drive.

203
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,877
Well, I'm gonna head out.

204
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,012
Uh, make sure you hydrate,
take a couple advils,

205
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,347
and I'll see you at work.

206
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:04,417
I still can't believe
Ted Spence is at CNN.

207
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,320
The guy couldn't report
a car accident.

208
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,221
Hey, forget about that guy.

209
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,824
"Spence" is a weird
last name, anyway.

210
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,826
It's like it wanted
to be "Spencer"

211
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,928
and then it was like,
"eh, I'm tired."

212
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,131
Well, I'll, uh, I'll see you.

213
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,067
You see this?

214
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:25,938
I won this for a story I wrote
on contractors in Iraq.

215
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,239
Now?

216
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:32,278
Now I'm doing stories
on taint maintenance.

217
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,481
I believe the term
is "taintenance."

218
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,019
This is it.

219
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,989
This is all I have to
show for my career.

220
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:46,392
You want to know why
I took the job at full steam?

221
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,360
Why?

222
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,261
Because I was scared.

223
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,897
They shut down my
department, and I panicked.

224
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,133
I jumped at the first
paycheck I was offered,

225
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,068
and now I'm stuck.

226
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,505
Look, Jude, I get it.

227
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,174
You lost a fancy job,
you're single,

228
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,943
you live in a neighborhood

229
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,979
that's at least two years away
from getting a whole foods.

230
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,349
Buyou're gonna bounce back.

231
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,518
How do you know?

232
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,353
'Cause you're too smart not to.

233
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,425
Didn't mean to do that.

234
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,129
Nobody blames you.

235
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,202
Do you want to get into bed?

236
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,038
Um...

237
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,272
Yeah, sure.

238
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,877
Oh, here.
Maybe I can help.

239
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,448
So, a-are you
from New York?

240
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,921
Oh, I'm really sorry.

241
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,033
Milo, it's 2:00 in the morning.
What are you doing?

242
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,201
Okay, just hear me out.

243
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,302
Is that a onesie?

244
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,504
Milo, what's going on?

245
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:08,407
I would like you to sit on the
couch and close your eyes.

246
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,609
Yeah, I bet you would.

247
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,248
Can I open my eyes yet?

248
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,583
Not yet.

249
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,984
Okay.

250
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:23,122
I want you to clear your mind

251
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,257
and get in touch
with your inner child.

252
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,666
All right.
Open them up.

253
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,502
What is this?

254
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,237
It's a belated
Christmas present.

255
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:42,408
Oh, the "great santorini"
magic kit!

256
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,376
Damn, Milo!
Where'd you find this?

257
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,678
At the novelty shop on Ludlow.

258
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,313
That place was open this late?

259
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:50,149
Well, I'm pretty sure that
they also sell weed there.

260
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,684
What makes you say that?

261
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:54,086
Because I also
bought some weed there.

262
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,190
Come on, man!
Open it up!

263
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,193
Magic wand...

264
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,695
Two-headed quarter...

265
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:07,266
Oddly tiny cape.

266
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,202
Wow, Milo.
This is really great.

267
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,571
Thanks, dude.

268
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:15,241
"Thanks, dude"?

269
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,375
That's it?

270
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,443
What do you mean,
"that's it?"

271
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,644
Come on.

272
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,147
Cry.

273
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,550
Gibbs, don't you get it?

274
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,453
This is the story of a
young boy who finally gets

275
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,022
what was always missing
from his childhood

276
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,025
when his best friend re-creates
the Christmas that he never had.

277
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,094
Oh, boy. Here we go.

278
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,598
Hey, buddy.
How'd it go with...

279
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,601
I do not want to talk about it.

280
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,006
Have you seen
this cellphone commercial?

281
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,041
Man:
Hold on to her, kid.

282
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:50,709
She's worth it.

283
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,213
Oh, for God's sake.

284
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,526
Wait. Whoa.
Is the door locked?

285
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,031
Yep.

286
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,432
Then come here.

287
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,569
Mm.

288
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,437
You know what?

289
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,372
I don't think I can do this.

290
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,408
I'm pretty sure
I can get you there.

291
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,276
No. No.

292
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,111
It's just, um...

293
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:29,181
You've had a lot to drink,
you're depressed and upset,

294
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,550
and, as sexy as that is...

295
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,486
Look, I like you,

296
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,322
and I-I don't think we
should do this right now.

297
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,723
Wow.

298
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,192
So, you're saying you won't
sleep with me right now

299
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,661
because...
You like me?

300
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,631
I know. It's uncharted
territory for me.

301
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,235
But I think I should go.

302
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,670
Um... I'll see you tomorrow,
Jude.

303
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:53,672
Wait.

304
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:56,775
Any chance you want
to stay anyway?

305
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,410
No funny stuff...

306
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,146
Just two co-workers
sleeping next to each other?

307
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,252
Can I be the little spoon?

308
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,790
Mm.

309
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,792
I can't believe
I'm in bed with a guy

310
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,395
who uses the same
conditioner as I do.

311
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:21,367
Well, clearly, we don't use
the same detangler.

312
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,837
Look, I really appreciate you
taking care of me last night.

313
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,640
Most guys would have taken
advantage of a drunk chick.

314
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,275
I'm impressed.

315
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,778
Thank you for comparing me
favorably to a date-rapist.

316
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,280
How about some coffee?

317
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,347
- Allow me, madame.
- Oh.

318
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,749
I'm gonna brush my teeth.

319
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,450
That's kind of what I
was hoping you'd do.

320
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,585
Oh!

321
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,091
Hey, Jude?
Where's your coffee maker?

322
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,593
Next to the microwave.

323
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,296
Hey, Jude?
Where's your microwave?

324
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,269
I feel like there was more
stuff here last night.

325
00:14:03,378 --> 00:14:05,513
Oh, my God.
I've been robbed.

326
00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:07,114
How did this happen?!

327
00:14:07,149 --> 00:14:08,682
I have no idea.

328
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,184
The door was unlocked.

329
00:14:10,218 --> 00:14:13,487
Huh. Well, that explains
how they got out.

330
00:14:15,223 --> 00:14:17,958
Tyler, I specifically
remember asking you

331
00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:19,460
if the door was locked
last night.

332
00:14:19,528 --> 00:14:21,095
I thought you meant
the bedroom door.

333
00:14:21,163 --> 00:14:22,663
Why would I want to lock
the bedroom door?!

334
00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:24,498
I don't know.
How do airplanes work?

335
00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:27,201
I don't know all the answers.

336
00:14:28,537 --> 00:14:31,472
I can't believe this. My laptop,
my TV... everything's gone.

337
00:14:31,506 --> 00:14:33,441
My award's gone.

338
00:14:33,475 --> 00:14:35,443
Why would they take an award?

339
00:14:35,477 --> 00:14:38,179
Well, maybe they never
won anything before.

340
00:14:39,181 --> 00:14:41,315
I'm gonna call the police.
You should go.

341
00:14:41,349 --> 00:14:42,550
Oh, it's fine.
I'll wait with you.

342
00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:44,185
Tyler, go home.

343
00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:46,253
All right.

344
00:14:47,656 --> 00:14:49,223
I'll go.

345
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:52,059
But if my retainer turns up,
you know where I work.

346
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:59,233
Oh, look.

347
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,368
It's the sisterhood
of the traveling pants.

348
00:15:03,572 --> 00:15:05,539
Oh, my God.
The sun is shining.

349
00:15:05,574 --> 00:15:07,174
Oh!

350
00:15:07,209 --> 00:15:09,610
It's so beautiful!

351
00:15:09,644 --> 00:15:12,279
It's too early in the morning
for sarcasm, Gibbs.

352
00:15:12,314 --> 00:15:14,348
Oh, but you're right.
It is breathtaking.

353
00:15:15,617 --> 00:15:18,252
Neal, what the hell
happened last night?

354
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,387
I would really
rather not talk about it.

355
00:15:20,422 --> 00:15:23,157
What? What do you mean? I thought
everything was going well with that girl.

356
00:15:23,191 --> 00:15:24,558
Yeah, it was.

357
00:15:24,593 --> 00:15:27,127
You know, we...
We went back to her place,

358
00:15:27,162 --> 00:15:29,029
we had a few more drinks.

359
00:15:29,097 --> 00:15:30,297
And...?

360
00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:31,532
The same thing
that always happens

361
00:15:31,566 --> 00:15:34,435
when it gets... intimate...

362
00:15:34,469 --> 00:15:36,804
Shame, embarrassment,
and giggles.

363
00:15:39,341 --> 00:15:40,307
- Ohh.
- Ohh.

364
00:15:40,342 --> 00:15:41,775
- Sorry, buddy.
- Yeah.

365
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,812
I'm sure you're...
totally average.

366
00:15:49,084 --> 00:15:51,285
You don't get laughed at
in the boys' locker room

367
00:15:51,319 --> 00:15:52,520
for being average.

368
00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:55,256
You see, this is why
I hate hookups.

369
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,458
But at least we didn't
have to get to the condom part.

370
00:15:57,492 --> 00:15:59,660
I've always struggled with them.

371
00:15:59,694 --> 00:16:01,529
Special-ordering
and everything.

372
00:16:01,596 --> 00:16:03,264
Oh.

373
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,700
Very good. Very good.
Go ahead and laugh, guys.

374
00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:07,835
Sorry. Sorry.

375
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:09,470
Condoms are the worst.

376
00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:11,872
At least make them
so they go all the way down.

377
00:16:14,309 --> 00:16:15,876
What exactly happened
last night?

378
00:16:19,381 --> 00:16:22,616
So, a-are you
from New York?

379
00:16:25,787 --> 00:16:29,123
Oh, I'm really sorry.

380
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:32,660
I...Don't think
I can do that.

381
00:16:39,301 --> 00:16:40,568
No way.

382
00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,236
- What?
- Wait.

383
00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,505
You just said that you
struggle with condoms?

384
00:16:44,539 --> 00:16:45,606
I do.

385
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,807
I mean, at least make them

386
00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,409
so they don't burst into pieces

387
00:16:48,443 --> 00:16:50,711
when you try to roll
it all the way down.

388
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,381
No way.

389
00:16:54,416 --> 00:16:55,783
Again... what?!

390
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:58,218
You know how tough it
is dating like this?

391
00:16:58,253 --> 00:16:59,787
I mean, Amy got used to it,

392
00:16:59,854 --> 00:17:02,623
but we literally could only
have outercourse for months.

393
00:17:02,657 --> 00:17:05,159
Outercourse?

394
00:17:05,193 --> 00:17:06,427
Wait.

395
00:17:06,461 --> 00:17:08,128
Everyone always thinks
it'd be so great.

396
00:17:08,163 --> 00:17:10,397
Wait! Wait! Wait!

397
00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,668
Oh, hell no!

398
00:17:17,739 --> 00:17:19,773
Poor Amy.

399
00:17:19,808 --> 00:17:22,743
Poor, tiny Amy.

400
00:17:22,777 --> 00:17:25,879
What... did you think
I was saying it was too small?

401
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,348
Well, I mean...

402
00:17:27,382 --> 00:17:28,716
Thanks for the support, guys.

403
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,584
I'm gonna go shower.

404
00:17:30,619 --> 00:17:31,619
Wait.

405
00:17:31,653 --> 00:17:32,586
What?

406
00:17:32,621 --> 00:17:35,222
Um...

407
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,624
No.

408
00:17:36,658 --> 00:17:38,258
Come on.

409
00:17:38,293 --> 00:17:38,959
Absolutely not.

410
00:17:38,994 --> 00:17:42,429
Neal, we need proof.

411
00:17:42,464 --> 00:17:44,598
This is getting weird.

412
00:17:44,633 --> 00:17:46,900
Look, either you can show us now

413
00:17:46,968 --> 00:17:49,368
or we can just spend the next
month trying to pee next to you.

414
00:17:49,371 --> 00:17:50,537
It's your call.

415
00:17:52,007 --> 00:17:53,574
Please?

416
00:17:55,844 --> 00:17:56,877
Fine.

417
00:18:13,495 --> 00:18:16,964
This is what it took?

418
00:18:16,998 --> 00:18:19,400
Such greatness...

419
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:20,701
Wasted!

420
00:18:20,769 --> 00:18:22,636
It's just...

421
00:18:22,671 --> 00:18:24,972
It's so tragic.

422
00:18:25,006 --> 00:18:27,541
You happy now, or do you want
me to take the rest out?

423
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:32,813
Jude: What's this?

424
00:18:32,847 --> 00:18:35,015
It was the closest thing
I could find to your award.

425
00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:36,917
How's it supposed to help?

426
00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:38,886
I don't know.
I thought it might cheer you up.

427
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,521
You know what would cheer me up?

428
00:18:40,555 --> 00:18:41,989
A time machine...
So I could go back

429
00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:43,824
and not take this job
and not get drunk

430
00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:46,427
and not go home with you
and not get robbed.

431
00:18:46,494 --> 00:18:48,529
You wouldn't go back
and kill Hitler?

432
00:18:50,031 --> 00:18:52,266
Fine.
First, I'd kill Hitler.

433
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,601
Then I'd do
all the other stuff.

434
00:18:54,636 --> 00:18:57,404
Look, Jude, I know this
is gonna sound harsh,

435
00:18:57,472 --> 00:18:59,306
but I'm just gonna say it.

436
00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:00,474
Boohoo.

437
00:19:00,508 --> 00:19:02,509
What are you talking about?

438
00:19:02,577 --> 00:19:05,546
I'm talking about the pity party
you're throwing for yourself.

439
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:06,947
Forget about the award.

440
00:19:06,981 --> 00:19:09,650
You already won it,
and you're gonna win more.

441
00:19:09,718 --> 00:19:11,752
I mean, not here,
but somewhere.

442
00:19:13,288 --> 00:19:14,655
You don't understand.

443
00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:16,290
Here's what I understand...

444
00:19:16,324 --> 00:19:18,726
You're a smart, beautiful,
creative woman,

445
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,728
who has the best-looking
guy in the office

446
00:19:20,762 --> 00:19:22,396
going to six different pawnshops

447
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:24,331
to try and find you
a replacement award,

448
00:19:24,365 --> 00:19:26,366
and he's not even trying
to sleep with you.

449
00:19:26,401 --> 00:19:28,368
So, you're not trying
to sleep with me?

450
00:19:28,403 --> 00:19:29,303
Nope.

451
00:19:29,337 --> 00:19:30,637
Not even a little?

452
00:19:30,705 --> 00:19:32,573
Okay, maybe a little.

453
00:19:39,051 --> 00:19:40,385
No way.

454
00:19:43,789 --> 00:19:46,257
And you guys made
him show it to you?

455
00:19:46,292 --> 00:19:50,929
If someone told you
the Loch Ness monster existed...

456
00:19:50,996 --> 00:19:53,398
And it was attached
to Neal's body...

457
00:19:55,768 --> 00:19:57,235
Wouldn't you want to see it?

458
00:19:59,271 --> 00:20:01,306
Milo: There he is.

459
00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:02,974
What's up, boss?

460
00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:06,377
Why are you guys standing?

461
00:20:06,412 --> 00:20:09,447
I don't know. It just seemed
like the right thing to do.

462
00:20:09,481 --> 00:20:11,449
Um... Neal?

463
00:20:11,483 --> 00:20:12,450
Yes?

464
00:20:17,423 --> 00:20:18,857
You want to see it, don't you?

465
00:20:18,924 --> 00:20:21,025
I don't want to.

466
00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:22,760
I have to.

467
00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:28,900
Let's do this.

468
00:20:34,306 --> 00:20:36,374
Maybe it wasn't that big.

469
00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:38,910
Yeah. Maybe it was
just the lighting.

470
00:20:38,944 --> 00:20:41,345
Tyler: Oh, my God!
Put it away!

471
00:20:43,570 --> 00:20:44,570
All of it!

472
00:20:46,795 --> 00:20:48,395
Well, that answers that.

473
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,220
Oh.
Here we go again.

474
00:20:54,245 --> 00:20:57,245
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