1 00:00:50,874 --> 00:00:54,310 - [ Chalk Scraping On Blackboard ] - [ Woman ] W-O... 2 00:00:54,394 --> 00:00:56,225 R... 3 00:00:56,314 --> 00:00:58,145 K ! 4 00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,145 Work. 5 00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:04,986 Today we're going to share what our parents do for... 6 00:01:05,074 --> 00:01:07,907 [ Children, Woman ] Work ! 7 00:01:07,954 --> 00:01:10,024 My mommy is a doctor. 8 00:01:10,114 --> 00:01:13,345 - My daddy is a truck driver. - My mom's a teacher. 9 00:01:13,434 --> 00:01:18,030 - And your dad ? - Mmm. My dad-- 10 00:01:18,114 --> 00:01:21,629 He's... a liar. 11 00:01:21,674 --> 00:01:26,350 A-- A liar ? Oh, l'm sure you don't mean a liar. 12 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:30,063 Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge. 13 00:01:30,114 --> 00:01:32,389 Oh ! l see. 14 00:01:32,474 --> 00:01:34,669 You mean he's a lawyer. 15 00:01:40,954 --> 00:01:42,785 [ Man ] Hey, Fletcher. How'd it go ? 16 00:01:42,874 --> 00:01:45,786 - Just another victory for the wrongly accused. - Yeah, right. 17 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:48,667 - [ Laughs ] - Mr. Reede, great job. Do you want your coat back ? 18 00:01:48,714 --> 00:01:51,103 No, l'm sure you'll be needing it again and again. 19 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:54,584 - Do you have a moment ? - l'm late. lt's my day to be with my son. 20 00:01:54,674 --> 00:01:57,472 A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win. 21 00:01:57,554 --> 00:01:59,510 Yeah ? How's my hair ? 22 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,431 Fabulous. You look great. 23 00:02:11,514 --> 00:02:13,664 [ Gasps ] 24 00:02:16,114 --> 00:02:20,904 - What time is it ? - l am sure your dad just got held up in court again. 25 00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:30,989 - Dad ! - Maximilian ! 26 00:02:34,314 --> 00:02:37,386 Hey, how ya doin', creep ? 27 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,351 Good. 28 00:02:39,394 --> 00:02:43,785 Me too, except my arm has been botherin' me. 29 00:02:43,874 --> 00:02:46,069 - Oh, no, Dad ! - Oh, yeah. 30 00:02:46,114 --> 00:02:48,912 lt's becoming a claw ! 31 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:51,747 - [ Growling ] - [ Giggling ] 32 00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:55,270 [ Gasps ] Nothing can stop the claw ! 33 00:02:57,994 --> 00:03:02,192 Run, boy, run ! Save yourself ! 34 00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:04,663 Do the claw to Mom ! Do the claw to Mom ! 35 00:03:04,754 --> 00:03:08,190 Uh-oh. You found the claw's only weakness. 36 00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:11,107 Subzero temperatures ! 37 00:03:11,194 --> 00:03:14,664 - [ Laughs ] - So, did you have any trouble finding the place ? 38 00:03:14,754 --> 00:03:18,144 Okay, l'm late. l'm sorry. l ran out of gas. 39 00:03:18,234 --> 00:03:22,352 The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too. 40 00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:24,425 Good thing l was wearin' neutral gang colors. 41 00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:27,028 l might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap. 42 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,224 My mind and my money and my money and my mind 43 00:03:29,314 --> 00:03:32,989 - [ Giggling ] - They would never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer. 44 00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:36,271 That was below the belt. Keep the gloves up. 45 00:03:36,354 --> 00:03:39,152 Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling ! 46 00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:41,987 - Oh, Fletcher ! - Oh, Audrey ! 47 00:03:42,074 --> 00:03:44,872 Why do you have to take him to see that stuff ? lt's very violent. 48 00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:49,345 The boy must grow to be a warrior. 49 00:03:49,434 --> 00:03:51,311 Who better to guide him than Rick Rude... 50 00:03:51,394 --> 00:03:54,670 and Randy Macho-man Savage in the cage of death ? 51 00:03:54,754 --> 00:03:56,745 [ Car Horn Honking ] 52 00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:58,790 [ Fletcher Moans ] Oh, good ! 53 00:03:58,874 --> 00:04:02,423 - [ Max ] Jerry, how's it goin' ? - [ Jerry ] Hey, gipper ! 54 00:04:02,474 --> 00:04:04,749 You look like you grow by the minute ! 55 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:07,553 Fletcher, pleasure to see you. Hi, honey ! 56 00:04:07,634 --> 00:04:09,943 - Hi. - [ Smack ] 57 00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:13,629 Wow. That was a nice image. [ lmitates Keystroke ] Deleted. 58 00:04:15,154 --> 00:04:17,384 - l have some more boxes for you. - Oh, you're an angel. 59 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:22,104 - Boxes ? - Remember, l told you a few weeks ago, Jerry's moving to Boston. 60 00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:26,511 Oh, right ! The job, the thing. What do you do again ? 61 00:04:26,594 --> 00:04:29,870 - Hospital administrator. - Right, right ! 62 00:04:29,954 --> 00:04:31,785 Well, the boxes are in my car. 63 00:04:31,874 --> 00:04:33,705 Oh, those can wait. 64 00:04:33,794 --> 00:04:36,627 l made this young man a promise, didn't l ? 65 00:04:36,674 --> 00:04:38,630 - Got time to throw a few ? - Sure ! 66 00:04:38,714 --> 00:04:41,103 Come on, then ! 67 00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:43,509 - l forgot the boyfriend was moving. - Jerry ! 68 00:04:43,554 --> 00:04:46,591 His name is Jerry ! And yes, he's moving. 69 00:04:46,674 --> 00:04:49,950 l'm sorry. l hated him less than your other boyfriends. 70 00:04:50,034 --> 00:04:52,707 - lt wasn't serious, was it ? - Semiserious, yes. 71 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:56,389 You guys aren't-- You know-- 72 00:04:56,474 --> 00:04:58,829 [ Grunting ] 73 00:04:58,914 --> 00:05:01,667 [ Laughs ] l have been dating him for seven months. 74 00:05:01,754 --> 00:05:04,348 - What do you think ? - Really ? Ooh ! 75 00:05:04,394 --> 00:05:07,306 l was hoping after being married to me you'd have no strength left. 76 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:11,228 Remember, when we were married, l wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were. 77 00:05:11,314 --> 00:05:15,626 Ouch ! And the ref takes a point away. 78 00:05:15,714 --> 00:05:19,866 - [ Max ] Out ! - Max is gonna miss him. 79 00:05:19,954 --> 00:05:21,831 l'll be here. 80 00:05:21,914 --> 00:05:25,668 [ Jerry ] Ready ? Yeah ! Play ball. 81 00:05:25,754 --> 00:05:28,746 Max, come on. We've gotta go. 82 00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:32,622 - Dad, are we really going to wrestling ? - Absolutely, Max Factor. 83 00:05:32,674 --> 00:05:34,904 We just have to stop by the office for one minute. 84 00:05:34,954 --> 00:05:36,910 Excuse me, sir. Any spare change ? 85 00:05:36,994 --> 00:05:38,905 Oh, l'm sorry. l'm all out. 86 00:05:38,954 --> 00:05:40,945 l can't do it. 87 00:05:40,994 --> 00:05:44,748 Fred, it's your duty to present the strongest case possible. 88 00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,632 The strongest case possible consistent with the truth. 89 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,625 Will you let the judge decide what's true ? 90 00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:53,309 That's what he gets paid for. You get paid to win. 91 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,584 lf you insist that l take it to trial, 92 00:05:55,674 --> 00:05:59,223 l will represent Mrs. Cole aggressively and ethically. 93 00:05:59,314 --> 00:06:01,384 But Miranda, l won't lie. 94 00:06:03,354 --> 00:06:06,312 Then we'll just have to find someone who will. 95 00:06:06,394 --> 00:06:08,225 [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 96 00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:10,589 Twenty-first floor. Men's wear. 97 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,347 [ Giggles ] 98 00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:16,984 - Hi, Mr. Reede ! - Whoa ! 99 00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:20,993 Hey. Did you do something to your hair ? 100 00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,786 lt's a bit extreme, isn't it ? 101 00:06:22,874 --> 00:06:26,423 No ! That's the thing nowadays, right ? 102 00:06:26,474 --> 00:06:29,784 - He said it would accent my facial features. - That's what it does ! 103 00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:32,507 lt completely accents your facial features. 104 00:06:32,554 --> 00:06:36,786 We're just gonna go to my office-- [ Choking ] 105 00:06:38,594 --> 00:06:41,062 - Hey, Fletcher. - Hey, Pete. 106 00:06:41,154 --> 00:06:43,463 - You losin' a little weight ? - l don't know. Maybe. 107 00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:45,943 Looks and personality. A double-threat guy. 108 00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:48,343 - Hey, Mr. Reede. - Hey... man. 109 00:06:48,394 --> 00:06:50,385 - lt's, uh, Randy. - Yeah, l know. 110 00:06:50,434 --> 00:06:53,392 Takin' lunch orders. Anything ? 111 00:06:53,474 --> 00:06:55,430 No, thanks. 112 00:06:55,514 --> 00:06:58,790 l had so much for breakfast, l'm ready to pop. 113 00:06:58,874 --> 00:07:02,947 - l mean, l'm full. - Okay. Great. 114 00:07:06,874 --> 00:07:09,593 - Max ! - Hi, Greta. 115 00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:14,185 - Hey, what's new ? - lt's my birthday tomorrow, and we're having a party. 116 00:07:14,274 --> 00:07:17,471 Wow ! l am sure your daddy has got you something wonderful. 117 00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:22,912 - Yeah ? - Yeah, you bet ! Listen, kiddo. 118 00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:27,146 Why don't you play in my office for a minute. Sue somebody for everything they've got. 119 00:07:27,234 --> 00:07:31,307 Maybe you can send a fax to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry. 120 00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:35,103 Damn it ! l completely forgot. 121 00:07:35,194 --> 00:07:37,071 Oh, what a surprise. 122 00:07:37,154 --> 00:07:39,714 You are a saint. l should buy you a gift. 123 00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:43,633 - You did. - l always do the classy thing. Any calls ? 124 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,592 - The Drawlings' clerk needs your filing. - Tell him it's in the mail. 125 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:51,389 Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow. 126 00:07:51,474 --> 00:07:54,386 Strep throat. Some kind of virus. What's goin' around ? 127 00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:56,470 - Asian flu ? - Good one. 128 00:07:56,514 --> 00:07:59,074 - And your mother called. - l'm on vacation. 129 00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:01,469 - lt's your fifth week. - Snowed in. Phones are down. 130 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,869 Break mother's heart. Done. That's it. 131 00:08:03,954 --> 00:08:06,787 - Except Miranda's looking for you. - [ Groans ] 132 00:08:06,874 --> 00:08:11,231 How much ass do l have to kiss to make partner ? 133 00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:15,711 - Tell her l broke my leg and l had to be shot. - Tell her yourself. 134 00:08:15,754 --> 00:08:19,713 And then send out a notice of judgement on my win today ! 135 00:08:19,754 --> 00:08:24,828 - l'll get right on it. - Miranda ! Hey, l didn't see you. 136 00:08:24,874 --> 00:08:27,229 You look beautiful today. 137 00:08:27,314 --> 00:08:29,748 Here ! l bought you a gift. 138 00:08:29,794 --> 00:08:33,503 Oh, thanks. l heard about your victory. Congratulations. 139 00:08:33,594 --> 00:08:36,984 You're making quite an impression on the partnership committee. 140 00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:41,430 That's right ! You folks are meetin' soon. 141 00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:43,704 l've been so busy, l haven't even thought about it. 142 00:08:43,754 --> 00:08:45,631 [ Chuckles ] 143 00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:49,548 Anyway. l have a client in my office. 144 00:08:49,634 --> 00:08:54,424 - Better not keep him waiting. - Actually, something rather important's just come up. 145 00:08:54,474 --> 00:08:57,546 Um, you're not busy tonight, are you ? 146 00:09:04,394 --> 00:09:06,464 We're not going, are we ? 147 00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:23,588 Audrey. You know how there are moments you know are critical ? 148 00:09:23,674 --> 00:09:26,586 - Mm-hmm. - And choices that have to be made... 149 00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:29,950 - upon which all one's future happiness will depend ? - Mm-hmm. 150 00:09:29,994 --> 00:09:31,905 This is one of those moments. 151 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:37,110 What are you trying to say ? 152 00:09:37,154 --> 00:09:39,509 Will you marry me ? 153 00:09:42,914 --> 00:09:46,873 - You're moving. - l know, but l want you and Max to come with me. 154 00:09:46,914 --> 00:09:48,984 Audrey, l've been giving this a lot of thought. 155 00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:51,867 You know l'm not prone to wild flights of romantic fancy. 156 00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:56,152 - Mmm. - But the thought of you and l together just makes sense. 157 00:09:56,194 --> 00:09:58,947 Now l'm ready. l think you're ready. l love Max. 158 00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:01,229 You love Max. lt's right. lt fits. 159 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,749 So what do you say ? 160 00:10:06,274 --> 00:10:08,390 [ Chuckles ] 161 00:10:10,114 --> 00:10:11,945 [ Keyboard Tapping ] 162 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,468 [ Sighs ] 163 00:10:14,554 --> 00:10:17,352 [ Computer Beeps, Printer Chatters ] 164 00:10:21,314 --> 00:10:24,670 Hey, creepy. Happy birthday. 165 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,585 How old are you now, 22 or 23 ? 166 00:10:26,674 --> 00:10:29,984 - l'm five, Dad. - Okay. 167 00:10:30,074 --> 00:10:32,542 Return the beer keg. 168 00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:35,626 Cancel the dancing girls. 169 00:10:35,714 --> 00:10:38,547 - [ Giggles ] - l don't know what l'm gonna do. 170 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:41,062 l feel completely unprepared for this. 171 00:10:41,154 --> 00:10:43,873 You see, l bought you a present, but last night... 172 00:10:43,914 --> 00:10:47,065 l accidentally swallowed it. 173 00:10:47,154 --> 00:10:49,748 - Dad, it's in your belly ! - Scalpel. 174 00:10:50,794 --> 00:10:52,671 l hope it's not partially digested ! 175 00:10:52,714 --> 00:10:55,103 Ooh ! Look out ! 176 00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:57,754 - Cool ! What is it ? - Cool ! 177 00:10:57,794 --> 00:11:01,343 lt's-- lt's a surprise. 178 00:11:01,434 --> 00:11:03,265 All right, it's a pony. Just open it ! 179 00:11:04,674 --> 00:11:07,871 l'm gonna help, 'cause l can't stand it ! 180 00:11:09,354 --> 00:11:12,551 - Baseball stuff ! - Baseball stuff ! 181 00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:15,228 Cool ! Can we play ? 182 00:11:15,314 --> 00:11:18,863 l'll be Nomo. You can be Jose Canseco. Can we play ? 183 00:11:18,914 --> 00:11:21,303 - Absolutely. - Yeah ! 184 00:11:21,354 --> 00:11:25,108 [ Laughs ] Right after your party tonight, we'll do it. 185 00:11:25,154 --> 00:11:27,714 You and me. 186 00:11:27,794 --> 00:11:30,945 l just have to really concentrate on this right now. 187 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,711 [ Printer Chattering ] 188 00:11:49,474 --> 00:11:51,305 [ Horn Honks ] 189 00:11:52,994 --> 00:11:55,383 Hi ! 190 00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:58,511 Hey ! Happy birthday. 191 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:02,109 - Thanks, Mom. - Happy birthday, Max ! 192 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:06,705 One, two, three, four, five. And one for good luck ! 193 00:12:06,754 --> 00:12:08,710 He struck the child. Did you see that ? 194 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:12,184 - Look at what Dad got me ! - Whoa ! Great ! 195 00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:15,112 Hey, l have my glove in the car. 196 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,425 Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and play catch. 197 00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:21,864 Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it. 198 00:12:21,954 --> 00:12:24,593 lt'll be great. Hey, great gift, Dad ! 199 00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:28,747 Thanks, son. l'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. 200 00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:31,712 My plan to phase myself out is almost complete. 201 00:12:32,994 --> 00:12:35,064 Something's come up, and we need to talk. 202 00:12:35,114 --> 00:12:37,309 Come on, Mom. l want to go play ! 203 00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:40,386 And actually it's kind of important, so maybe we could talk tonight ? 204 00:12:40,474 --> 00:12:42,465 - Tonight ? - Yes. 205 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:45,466 - Max's birthday party. - Oh ! Yeah. 206 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,903 Sure. Of course. We'll talk then. Great ! 207 00:12:50,514 --> 00:12:53,108 - Maximus ! l'm outta here. - Bye, Dad. 208 00:12:53,154 --> 00:12:55,463 Jerry, enjoy my wife. 209 00:12:57,554 --> 00:12:59,863 - [ Chuckles Wickedly ] - [ Engine Starts ] 210 00:13:06,914 --> 00:13:08,427 Hmm. 211 00:13:10,754 --> 00:13:13,188 Well, this is good. 212 00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:15,549 This is really smart. 213 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,471 - Thank you. - Only-- 214 00:13:17,514 --> 00:13:21,871 Well, it's not true. Does that present a problem ? 215 00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:25,305 Mrs. Cole, the only problem here... 216 00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:28,989 is that after you've provided years of faithful service and loving support, 217 00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,150 of raising his children-- they are his ? 218 00:13:31,234 --> 00:13:35,273 Huh ? Oh. Yeah, yeah. One for sure. 219 00:13:36,754 --> 00:13:39,063 After all that, your husband wants to deny you... 220 00:13:39,114 --> 00:13:43,312 - a fair share of the assets based on one act of indiscretion. - Seven. 221 00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:47,353 - Pardon me ? - Seven single acts of indiscretion. 222 00:13:48,514 --> 00:13:50,345 Seven acts of indiscretion, 223 00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:52,629 only one of which he has any evidence of... 224 00:13:52,674 --> 00:13:56,110 and all of which he himself is responsible for. 225 00:13:56,194 --> 00:13:59,311 - He is ? - Mrs. Cole. 226 00:13:59,394 --> 00:14:03,069 You're the victim here. The wife of a cold, distant workaholic. 227 00:14:03,114 --> 00:14:05,674 Starved for affection, driven into the arms of another man ! 228 00:14:05,754 --> 00:14:07,631 - Seven. - Yeah, whatever ! 229 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,784 You're not trying to deny him what is rightfully his. 230 00:14:09,874 --> 00:14:13,184 - All you're insisting on is what is rightfully yours. - Yeah. 231 00:14:13,274 --> 00:14:16,152 And maybe a... [ Puffs ] fraction more. 232 00:14:16,194 --> 00:14:18,583 l think you're bending over backwards. 233 00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:23,350 Yeah. l did offer to give him joint custody of the kids. 234 00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:26,431 He is, after all, a wonderful father. 235 00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:29,546 And how does he repay you ? 236 00:14:29,634 --> 00:14:31,864 By dragging you through a painful litigation process ! 237 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:35,384 No, no, no, no ! This can't happen ! 238 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:39,023 With all due respect, this isn't about you and Mr. Cole anymore. 239 00:14:39,074 --> 00:14:40,985 This is about all women. 240 00:14:41,034 --> 00:14:44,344 Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, 241 00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:47,545 "Hit me again, lke, and put some stank on it ?" 242 00:14:47,594 --> 00:14:49,664 Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. 243 00:14:49,754 --> 00:14:53,633 But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message. 244 00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:58,384 Wake up, sisters ! There's no-o-o-o-o-o... 245 00:14:58,434 --> 00:15:01,949 such thing as a weaker sex ! 246 00:15:01,994 --> 00:15:05,384 [ Panting ] You know what ? 247 00:15:05,474 --> 00:15:09,945 You're right, Mr. Reede. l am tired of getting kicked around ! 248 00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:12,508 Good for you ! 249 00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:16,553 Thank you. l am so grateful... 250 00:15:16,634 --> 00:15:19,432 to have an attorney l can trust. 251 00:15:19,514 --> 00:15:22,074 [ Gasps ] 252 00:15:25,914 --> 00:15:27,745 Oh, you are good. 253 00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:32,385 [ Laughs ] You are very, very good. 254 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:36,262 The Cole case is worth a truckload of money to this firm. 255 00:15:36,354 --> 00:15:39,471 lf you win, l guarantee you'll make partner. 256 00:15:39,554 --> 00:15:42,114 Aw. 257 00:15:42,154 --> 00:15:46,113 ln fact, how would you like to make... 258 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,543 a partner right now, hmm ? 259 00:15:48,634 --> 00:15:52,024 Oh, l don't know. l should-- 260 00:15:52,074 --> 00:15:54,747 Mmm. 261 00:15:58,274 --> 00:16:00,834 Happy, happy, happy happy, happy, happy 262 00:16:00,914 --> 00:16:05,351 Happy l'm so happy today 263 00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:08,665 - l live in the U.S.A. - So honey ? 264 00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:11,063 Have you, uh, thought about-- 265 00:16:11,114 --> 00:16:15,710 - You know, what we talked about ? - Uh, yeah. l can't go. 266 00:16:15,754 --> 00:16:17,631 What ? Wh-Why not ? 267 00:16:17,674 --> 00:16:21,064 - Because of Max. - But he'll love it there. 268 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,110 l'm gonna take him to Fenway Park. 269 00:16:23,194 --> 00:16:25,071 There's hiking and camping-- 270 00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:28,829 Well, really, it's... Fletcher. 271 00:16:28,874 --> 00:16:31,547 Fletcher ? Come on, honey. 272 00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:33,784 He wouldn't even come over unless you reminded him. 273 00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:36,348 l know, but when he does come over, Max is so happy. 274 00:16:36,434 --> 00:16:38,789 lt's like they have their own little world together. 275 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:42,583 - The gipper and l have that too ! - l know, but it's different. 276 00:16:42,674 --> 00:16:45,188 - How ? - Well-- 277 00:16:46,234 --> 00:16:48,065 He does the claw. 278 00:16:48,154 --> 00:16:50,952 - The what ? - The claw. 279 00:16:51,034 --> 00:16:53,946 You know, it's like this-- 280 00:16:53,994 --> 00:16:56,144 l don't-- [ Growls ] 281 00:16:56,194 --> 00:17:00,824 [ lmitating Fletcher ] Run for you life. lt's the claw ! The claw ! 282 00:17:00,914 --> 00:17:02,745 [ Laughs ] Mmm. 283 00:17:05,474 --> 00:17:07,704 l can't really do it that good. That's not the point. 284 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:09,944 - The point is... - [ Phone Ringing ] 285 00:17:10,034 --> 00:17:12,389 if they're 3,000 miles apart, they're never gonna see each other. 286 00:17:12,474 --> 00:17:14,305 Fletcher's never gonna come to Boston. 287 00:17:14,394 --> 00:17:17,784 - [ Ringing Continues ] - Hello. 288 00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:20,746 - Audrey ? - Fletcher ! Where are you ? 289 00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:23,064 We're waiting. Max won't cut the cake until you get here. 290 00:17:23,114 --> 00:17:25,947 Um-- Oh, man ! 291 00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:28,423 Actually, something has come up. l've-- 292 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,584 l've got this problem on a new case. 293 00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:32,511 - What happened ? - Nothing ! 294 00:17:32,554 --> 00:17:34,749 l stubbed my toe on the desk ! 295 00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:38,503 l'm really sorry, but l just can't make it. 296 00:17:38,594 --> 00:17:41,791 The boss is, uh, really ridin' me. 297 00:17:41,874 --> 00:17:44,388 Fletcher, it's his birthday ! 298 00:17:44,474 --> 00:17:46,305 l know, l know. 299 00:17:46,394 --> 00:17:49,830 l'll make it up to him, l promise. l'll pick him up from school tomorrow, okay ? 300 00:17:49,914 --> 00:17:51,950 - You're gonna pick him up ? - Yes ! 301 00:17:52,034 --> 00:17:54,787 All right, hold on a minute. You can say happy birthday. 302 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,149 - No ! Gotta go ! Good-bye. - [ Cord Snaps ] 303 00:17:58,714 --> 00:18:00,545 Hello. 304 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:04,463 [ Everyone ] Happy birthday to you 305 00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:09,463 Happy birthday, dear Max 306 00:18:09,514 --> 00:18:14,634 Happy birthday to you 307 00:18:16,114 --> 00:18:19,231 Okay, birthday boy. Make a wish. 308 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,910 Come on, Max. lt can be anything you want. 309 00:18:24,994 --> 00:18:26,985 Anything in the whole world. 310 00:18:41,074 --> 00:18:43,634 Max. 311 00:18:43,714 --> 00:18:46,831 Your father is sorry. He had to work. 312 00:18:46,914 --> 00:18:49,348 He said he was gonna be here. He promised. 313 00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:53,586 l know, but he promises that he is gonna see you tomorrow. 314 00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:57,513 Okay ? He's gonna pick you up from school. All right ? 315 00:19:00,354 --> 00:19:03,790 So come on. Make a wish. 316 00:19:15,434 --> 00:19:17,789 [ Thinking ] l wish that for only one day... 317 00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:21,668 Dad couldn't tell a lie. 318 00:19:22,034 --> 00:19:24,070 [ Everyone Cheering ] 319 00:19:46,514 --> 00:19:50,826 Mmm. That was incredible. 320 00:19:50,914 --> 00:19:54,065 Was it good for you ? 321 00:19:54,114 --> 00:19:56,184 l've had better. 322 00:19:57,474 --> 00:19:59,351 [ Gasping ] 323 00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:05,145 "l've had better" ? 324 00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:08,465 [ Buzzing ] 325 00:20:08,514 --> 00:20:10,903 "l've had better" ? 326 00:20:15,234 --> 00:20:17,065 "l've had better." 327 00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:18,985 [ Chuckles ] 328 00:20:23,794 --> 00:20:27,548 [ Laughing ] 329 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,903 - [ Sighs ] - [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 330 00:20:39,674 --> 00:20:41,983 - Hi. - Hi. 331 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,146 - New in the building ? - Yeah, l just moved in Monday. 332 00:20:45,234 --> 00:20:49,307 - Oh ! You like it so far ? - Everybody's been real nice. 333 00:20:49,394 --> 00:20:51,862 Well, that's because you have big jugs. 334 00:20:51,954 --> 00:20:54,422 l mean, your boobs are huge. 335 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:57,984 l mean, l wanna squeeze 'em. [ Gasps ] 336 00:20:58,074 --> 00:21:01,749 Mama. [ Sucking Sounds ] 337 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:05,025 - [ Slap ] - [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 338 00:21:11,754 --> 00:21:14,143 - Any change, mister ? - Absolutely. 339 00:21:14,234 --> 00:21:16,464 - Could you spare some ? - Yes, l could. 340 00:21:16,514 --> 00:21:18,982 - Will ya ? How come ? - Mm-mm. 341 00:21:19,074 --> 00:21:21,463 Because l believe you will buy booze with it ! 342 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:26,190 l just wanna get to the office without being confronted by the decay of Western society ! 343 00:21:26,274 --> 00:21:28,424 Plus, l'm cheap ! [ Gasps ] 344 00:21:29,474 --> 00:21:31,351 Jerk off ! 345 00:21:36,274 --> 00:21:38,105 [ Bangs ] 346 00:21:51,554 --> 00:21:53,431 [ Thud ] 347 00:22:01,074 --> 00:22:02,951 You look like you're having a rough morning. 348 00:22:03,034 --> 00:22:06,663 Ding, ding, ding ! What do we have for her, Johnny ? 349 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,269 - Fletcher. - Dana. 350 00:22:10,354 --> 00:22:13,505 All right, Samantha. How much will it take to put an end to all this ? 351 00:22:13,594 --> 00:22:17,507 - Fifty percent of your estate. - [ Scoffs ] Fifty percent ? 352 00:22:17,594 --> 00:22:20,825 With a pre-nup and proof of adultery ? What's your case ? 353 00:22:20,914 --> 00:22:23,109 Our case is simply this. 354 00:22:27,994 --> 00:22:30,588 [ Unable To Speak ] B-- M-- 355 00:22:30,674 --> 00:22:32,505 N-n-n-n-- 356 00:22:34,314 --> 00:22:36,544 H-h-h-h-- 357 00:22:36,634 --> 00:22:39,273 l-l-l-l-l-- [ Clears Throat, Spits ] 358 00:22:39,354 --> 00:22:41,310 Mmm. [ Roars ] 359 00:22:41,354 --> 00:22:43,231 Uh-- 360 00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:47,267 [ Sputtering Nonsense Syllables ] 361 00:22:54,274 --> 00:22:57,027 [ Nonsense Continues ] 362 00:23:03,434 --> 00:23:05,504 Very funny, Fletcher ! 363 00:23:05,594 --> 00:23:09,223 You wanna play hardball ? l'm game. 364 00:23:09,314 --> 00:23:11,953 [ lmitating Dana ] You wanna play hardball ? l'm game. 365 00:23:12,034 --> 00:23:14,594 What are you doing ? What is wrong with you ? 366 00:23:14,634 --> 00:23:18,786 [ Bailiff ] All rise for the Honorable Judge Marshall Stevens. 367 00:23:18,874 --> 00:23:20,785 Honorable ? [ Blows Raspberry ] 368 00:23:21,914 --> 00:23:27,193 Good morning. Call case number BD-09395. 369 00:23:27,234 --> 00:23:29,987 Samantha Cole vs. Richard Cole. 370 00:23:30,074 --> 00:23:32,872 - How are we doing this morning, Counsel ? - Fine. Thank you. 371 00:23:32,954 --> 00:23:37,948 - And you, Mr. Reede ? - l'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode last night. 372 00:23:38,034 --> 00:23:41,344 [ Spectators Tittering ] 373 00:23:41,434 --> 00:23:44,824 Well, you're still young. lt'll happen more and more. 374 00:23:44,874 --> 00:23:49,186 ln the meantime, what do you say we get down to business ? 375 00:23:49,274 --> 00:23:53,790 - First, Mr. Reede, l see-- - l would like a continuance ! 376 00:23:53,834 --> 00:23:57,873 This case has been delayed several times, Mr. Reede. 377 00:23:57,954 --> 00:24:03,074 l realize that, Your Honor, but l would really, really like a continuance. 378 00:24:03,114 --> 00:24:05,674 l'll have to hear good cause, Counsel. 379 00:24:05,754 --> 00:24:07,585 What's the problem ? 380 00:24:16,674 --> 00:24:19,552 l can't lie ! 381 00:24:19,634 --> 00:24:24,185 Commendable, Mr. Reede, but l'm waiting to hear good cause. Do you have one or not ? 382 00:24:24,234 --> 00:24:27,271 - Not. - Motion for continuance denied. 383 00:24:27,354 --> 00:24:30,107 ls there any chance of a settlement in this case ? 384 00:24:30,194 --> 00:24:34,904 l don't think so, Your Honor. 385 00:24:34,954 --> 00:24:39,584 - But Mr. Reede has made it clear he has no desire-- - Settle ! 386 00:24:39,674 --> 00:24:42,905 - Settle, settle, settle, settle ! - l don't want to settle. 387 00:24:42,994 --> 00:24:47,067 Mr. Reede. You convinced me yesterday, l'm the victim ! 388 00:24:47,114 --> 00:24:51,073 l'm starved for affection. l'm driven into the arms of another man. 389 00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:53,105 - Seven ! - Yeah, whatever. 390 00:24:53,154 --> 00:24:56,112 With the story you came up with, l don't think we can lose. 391 00:24:56,194 --> 00:25:00,346 - l want to proceed. - Mrs. Cole, you don't understand. 392 00:25:00,394 --> 00:25:02,749 Mr. Reede. Do we have a settlement ? 393 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,711 [ Shouts ] No ! 394 00:25:08,914 --> 00:25:11,508 - No, Your Honor. - There's no settlement. 395 00:25:11,554 --> 00:25:14,432 Trial to commence 1:30 sharp. 396 00:25:14,514 --> 00:25:16,744 [ Retches ] 397 00:25:25,434 --> 00:25:27,265 [ Screaming ] 398 00:25:29,474 --> 00:25:31,032 [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 399 00:25:32,594 --> 00:25:34,425 lt was me ! 400 00:25:37,834 --> 00:25:40,189 Hi, Mr. Reede ! Like the new dress ? 401 00:25:40,234 --> 00:25:44,785 Whatever takes the focus off your head. 402 00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:49,669 - What's up, Fletcher ? - Your cholesterol, fatty ! Dead man walkin'. 403 00:25:49,754 --> 00:25:51,870 - Hey, Fletcher. - Hey ! You're not important enough to remember. 404 00:25:51,954 --> 00:25:54,752 - What's it gonna be, Mr. Reede ? - A pockmark, eventually ! 405 00:25:54,794 --> 00:25:58,104 Don't ask ! For God's sakes, don't ask. 406 00:25:58,154 --> 00:26:00,827 All right. You can beat this. 407 00:26:00,914 --> 00:26:03,667 lt's all a matter of willpower ! 408 00:26:03,714 --> 00:26:07,070 A test. Something small. 409 00:26:12,594 --> 00:26:17,110 Red. Red. All right ? Now focus. 410 00:26:17,154 --> 00:26:20,544 The color of this pen is r-r-r-- 411 00:26:23,394 --> 00:26:25,624 The color of this pen... 412 00:26:25,714 --> 00:26:28,512 is re-e-e-e-e-- 413 00:26:28,554 --> 00:26:30,545 Re-e-e-e-- 414 00:26:33,674 --> 00:26:37,633 The color of the pen that l hold in my hand... 415 00:26:37,674 --> 00:26:40,507 is r-r-r-r-- 416 00:26:40,554 --> 00:26:42,431 r-r-royal blue ! 417 00:26:42,474 --> 00:26:45,750 [ Yelps ] 418 00:26:45,794 --> 00:26:48,672 One lie, and l can't say it ! 419 00:26:49,794 --> 00:26:51,625 l'll write it. 420 00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,224 [ Yelling ] 421 00:27:17,954 --> 00:27:21,026 Write it ! Write it, or l'll break it off ! 422 00:27:23,874 --> 00:27:26,149 [ Chuckling Victoriously ] 423 00:27:26,234 --> 00:27:30,113 Agh ! No ! Come on ! Stop it. 424 00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:37,393 [ Screaming ] 425 00:27:40,314 --> 00:27:42,669 Boss ? What happened ? 426 00:27:47,034 --> 00:27:50,310 The pen is blue. The pen is blue ! 427 00:27:50,394 --> 00:27:53,909 The goddamn pen is blue ! 428 00:27:56,354 --> 00:27:58,185 Mr. Reede, are you all right ? 429 00:27:58,274 --> 00:28:01,823 - l gotta go home. - Home ? Was the case settled ? 430 00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:04,508 No ! l have to be in court at 1:30 ! 431 00:28:04,594 --> 00:28:09,304 - Then how are you going to go home ? - l don't know. l don't know. 432 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:13,233 Okay. Uh, Mr. Reede, Reuben and Dunn called. 433 00:28:13,314 --> 00:28:15,782 They need to know where the Darby settlement offer stands. 434 00:28:15,874 --> 00:28:19,992 l just proposed a settlement to dick with them ! [ Gasps ] 435 00:28:21,234 --> 00:28:23,304 Dick with them. Got it. 436 00:28:23,394 --> 00:28:27,387 - And your mother called. Are you still on vacation ? - No. 437 00:28:27,434 --> 00:28:29,629 - Then you're here ? - Yes. 438 00:28:29,674 --> 00:28:32,029 Thank you for clearing that up, sir. 439 00:28:32,074 --> 00:28:35,271 And your ex-wife called. She wants to know when you're coming to pick up your son. 440 00:28:35,354 --> 00:28:39,472 Oh, l'm such a shit ! 441 00:28:40,514 --> 00:28:43,108 [ Phone Ringing ] 442 00:28:43,194 --> 00:28:45,549 - Hello. - Audrey ? 443 00:28:45,634 --> 00:28:48,353 Fletcher, hi. Are you still picking Max up from school today ? 444 00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:50,385 Here's the thing. l really can't ! 445 00:28:50,434 --> 00:28:54,188 l had a case l was certain would settle, and it didn't, and l have to go to court. 446 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:57,630 - Right. - lt's true ! l really want to see Max today ! 447 00:28:57,714 --> 00:28:59,545 [ Softly ] l really do. 448 00:28:59,634 --> 00:29:02,307 Uh-huh, but things just keep coming up at the last minute. 449 00:29:02,394 --> 00:29:05,306 - Yes, but this time it's different. - l see. How is that ? 450 00:29:05,354 --> 00:29:09,142 - Now l'm telling the truth. - And last night you weren't. Well, what were you doing ? 451 00:29:09,234 --> 00:29:12,067 Having sex ! 452 00:29:12,154 --> 00:29:15,112 Well, l hope that it was with someone very special. 453 00:29:15,194 --> 00:29:18,231 No ! That's the thing. l don't even like her, but she's a partner. 454 00:29:18,274 --> 00:29:22,790 l thought l could help my career by makin' her squeal. [ Screams ] 455 00:29:22,874 --> 00:29:26,264 Aah ! 456 00:29:26,314 --> 00:29:29,306 What's wrong with me ? 457 00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:31,589 l'm getting what l deserve. l'm reaping what l sow. l'm-- 458 00:29:37,794 --> 00:29:40,627 [ Children Chattering ] 459 00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:45,951 - ls Dad still picking me up ? - No, Max, he's not. 460 00:29:47,194 --> 00:29:49,992 l'm sorry, but l'm gonna pick you up, okay ? 461 00:29:50,074 --> 00:29:51,905 l'll work it out. 462 00:29:51,994 --> 00:29:53,871 l guess my wish didn't come true. 463 00:29:53,954 --> 00:29:58,630 - What wish ? - l wished that for just one day Dad couldn't tell a lie. 464 00:29:58,714 --> 00:30:00,944 [ Bell Ringing ] 465 00:30:04,634 --> 00:30:06,465 Max ? 466 00:30:08,994 --> 00:30:12,782 l have something important to talk to you about, okay ? 467 00:30:12,834 --> 00:30:15,029 - Okay. - Okay. 468 00:30:16,514 --> 00:30:18,345 [ Phone Ringing ] 469 00:30:22,234 --> 00:30:26,307 - Hello ? - Audrey ! Let me explain. Something has happened to me. 470 00:30:26,394 --> 00:30:30,148 Well, something else is about to happen to you. Max and l are moving to Boston. 471 00:30:30,234 --> 00:30:32,350 - What ? - Jerry has asked me to marry him, 472 00:30:32,394 --> 00:30:34,954 and Max and l are going this weekend to look at houses. 473 00:30:35,034 --> 00:30:36,831 l thought it was semiserious ! 474 00:30:36,874 --> 00:30:39,547 lt's just been given a violent shove into serious. 475 00:30:39,634 --> 00:30:42,023 You can't move to Boston; l'll never see Max ! 476 00:30:42,114 --> 00:30:45,390 You'll have the same relationship you have with him now, won't you ? 477 00:30:45,474 --> 00:30:47,146 - Where are you ? - l'm going home. 478 00:30:47,234 --> 00:30:50,351 When you get there, just stay there. l'm comin' over. We have to talk. 479 00:30:50,434 --> 00:30:54,507 - Fletcher ! - l'll be right there. 480 00:30:54,594 --> 00:30:57,745 - Hey, Mr. Reede-- - La, la, la, la 481 00:30:57,794 --> 00:30:59,671 La, la, la, la 482 00:30:59,714 --> 00:31:02,023 [ Singing Nonsense ] 483 00:31:02,114 --> 00:31:04,025 [ Bell Dings ] 484 00:31:05,874 --> 00:31:08,866 - Fletcher. - Holy hell ! 485 00:31:12,714 --> 00:31:15,865 You can run, but you can't hide. 486 00:31:17,314 --> 00:31:19,384 [ Tires Squealing ] 487 00:31:20,514 --> 00:31:22,584 What's your problem, schmuck ? 488 00:31:22,634 --> 00:31:25,865 l'm an inconsiderate prick ! 489 00:31:43,714 --> 00:31:45,591 [ Siren Wailing ] 490 00:31:47,994 --> 00:31:49,825 Oh, shit ! 491 00:31:54,314 --> 00:31:56,350 Shit ! 492 00:32:03,314 --> 00:32:06,829 - You know why l pulled you over ? - Depends on how long you were following me ! 493 00:32:08,034 --> 00:32:11,151 - Why don't we take it from the top ? - Here goes. 494 00:32:11,234 --> 00:32:13,145 l sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign, 495 00:32:13,234 --> 00:32:17,068 l almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield, 496 00:32:17,154 --> 00:32:20,988 l changed lanes without signaling while speeding ! 497 00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:24,350 - ls that all ? - No. 498 00:32:26,394 --> 00:32:29,113 l have unpaid parking tickets. 499 00:32:29,154 --> 00:32:31,065 [ Groans ] 500 00:32:31,114 --> 00:32:32,991 Be gentle. 501 00:32:36,554 --> 00:32:38,465 Audrey ! Wait ! 502 00:32:41,434 --> 00:32:44,824 Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait ! 503 00:32:44,874 --> 00:32:49,026 Wait. l just had an insight into myself. l'm crazy. 504 00:32:49,114 --> 00:32:52,504 You call and say, "Wait, l'll be right over," 505 00:32:52,594 --> 00:32:55,062 and here's the crazy part-- l actually wait. 506 00:32:55,114 --> 00:32:58,993 - l can explain this. - l have missed a department meeting. 507 00:32:59,074 --> 00:33:00,951 - Did you come in a cab ? - Yes ! 508 00:33:00,994 --> 00:33:03,986 Where's your car ? 509 00:33:04,034 --> 00:33:07,390 Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me. 510 00:33:07,474 --> 00:33:12,594 - l can. $1,654.11. - How do you sleep at night ? 511 00:33:16,034 --> 00:33:18,992 l'm takin' this. [ lnhales Loudly ] 512 00:33:19,074 --> 00:33:20,905 [ Loud Crunch ] 513 00:33:20,994 --> 00:33:23,554 [ Tires Squealing ] 514 00:33:27,474 --> 00:33:29,669 You scratched my car ! 515 00:33:29,754 --> 00:33:33,952 - Where ? - Right there ! 516 00:33:34,994 --> 00:33:38,304 Oh, there. That was already there. 517 00:33:38,394 --> 00:33:41,306 Why, you ! 518 00:33:41,354 --> 00:33:43,231 You liar ! 519 00:33:44,434 --> 00:33:46,470 -You know what l'm gonna do about this ? -What ? 520 00:33:46,554 --> 00:33:50,149 Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life, 521 00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:53,704 and you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway ! 522 00:33:53,794 --> 00:33:57,787 So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk... 523 00:33:57,834 --> 00:34:01,144 and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe ! 524 00:34:01,234 --> 00:34:04,192 You been here before, haven't ya ? 525 00:34:04,234 --> 00:34:06,873 Well, l can't remember when l've had more fun, 526 00:34:06,914 --> 00:34:08,984 but if you'll excuse me, l have a class. 527 00:34:09,034 --> 00:34:10,911 Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me ? 528 00:34:10,994 --> 00:34:13,303 No, l divorced you because l was mad at you. 529 00:34:13,354 --> 00:34:16,505 - Wait. l want to talk about this ! - What do you want to say ? 530 00:34:16,594 --> 00:34:19,347 ls this guy right for you ? He is so... not me ! 531 00:34:19,394 --> 00:34:24,263 - That's one of his best qualities. - But he's kind of a magoo. 532 00:34:24,354 --> 00:34:28,711 - l'm sorry. - You're wrong. Sometimes maybe he is a little-- 533 00:34:28,794 --> 00:34:32,184 - Magoo ! - Yes. But since we've been going out-- 534 00:34:32,234 --> 00:34:35,146 - My God, l'm not having this conversation with you. - Audrey, you can't go. 535 00:34:35,234 --> 00:34:37,543 - This is not fair. - Fair ? 536 00:34:37,634 --> 00:34:42,264 Okay, let's define fair. Last night a five-year-old boy was crushed... 537 00:34:42,354 --> 00:34:45,824 because his father lied to him about coming to his birthday party. 538 00:34:45,914 --> 00:34:47,745 - Fair ? - Last night-- 539 00:34:47,834 --> 00:34:50,632 - Was none of my business. None of my business. - Thank you. 540 00:34:50,714 --> 00:34:53,990 Two years ago, it was my business. But l don't have to care anymore. 541 00:34:54,074 --> 00:34:57,623 That's the magic of divorce. But it matters to Max ! 542 00:34:57,674 --> 00:35:00,791 Everything you do matters, and everything you don't do. 543 00:35:00,834 --> 00:35:02,711 All right. Now let me tell you something. 544 00:35:02,754 --> 00:35:04,631 l'm a bad father ! 545 00:35:07,674 --> 00:35:09,505 l mean-- 546 00:35:14,674 --> 00:35:17,142 l'm a bad father. 547 00:35:18,594 --> 00:35:22,792 You're not a bad father... when you show up. 548 00:35:22,874 --> 00:35:25,513 What if l come right after court and play ball ? 549 00:35:25,594 --> 00:35:28,666 Then you and l can talk before you make any rash decisions ! 550 00:35:28,714 --> 00:35:30,909 No, we are leaving tonight. 551 00:35:30,954 --> 00:35:33,593 Please, Audrey. Give me one more chance. 552 00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:35,943 l'm throwin' myself on the mercy of the court. 553 00:35:36,034 --> 00:35:40,983 l lost you, but please don't make me lose Max too. 554 00:35:43,194 --> 00:35:46,948 Give me a chance to be the father l started out to be. 555 00:35:52,594 --> 00:35:55,711 - You're really coming ? - This is ironclad. 556 00:35:55,794 --> 00:35:58,786 This is the mother of all promises. What time ? 557 00:35:58,874 --> 00:36:00,705 Okay, 6:00. 558 00:36:00,794 --> 00:36:03,706 - Ten to six. - All right. 559 00:36:03,754 --> 00:36:07,064 All right. But if l tell Max that you're coming, 560 00:36:07,114 --> 00:36:10,265 and you don't show up and l have to see that look on his face-- 561 00:36:10,314 --> 00:36:12,623 that heartbreaking look-- 562 00:36:12,674 --> 00:36:14,551 we're going to Boston. 563 00:36:14,594 --> 00:36:17,984 lf l don't show up, l'll pack you myself. 564 00:36:18,074 --> 00:36:21,191 l will lovingly wrap your nicknacks with bubble paper. 565 00:36:21,274 --> 00:36:23,105 l hope so. 566 00:36:24,834 --> 00:36:27,985 Do you know what your son was doing at 8:15 last night ? 567 00:36:28,034 --> 00:36:31,470 He was making a birthday wish that for just one day... 568 00:36:31,554 --> 00:36:34,387 his father couldn't tell a lie. 569 00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:42,390 Oh, my God ! That's it ! 570 00:36:42,794 --> 00:36:44,944 "l do not like them, Sam l Am. 571 00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:47,588 "l do not like green eggs and ham. 572 00:36:47,674 --> 00:36:50,188 "Would you like them here or there ? 573 00:36:50,274 --> 00:36:52,947 - l would not like them--" - Excuse me. 574 00:36:52,994 --> 00:36:57,226 Hi. l'm Max's bad father-- Er, l'm his father. 575 00:36:57,314 --> 00:37:01,466 - Dad ! - Could l borrow him for just one second ? 576 00:37:01,514 --> 00:37:05,951 - Monster Max ! - You came to play catch ? 577 00:37:06,034 --> 00:37:08,628 l'd like to, but l can't. l gotta talk to you. 578 00:37:08,674 --> 00:37:12,826 Your mommy told me about that wish you made last night. lt came true, Max. 579 00:37:12,874 --> 00:37:15,786 - Really ? You mean you have to tell the truth ? - Yes. 580 00:37:15,874 --> 00:37:17,944 - No matter what ? - No matter what ! 581 00:37:17,994 --> 00:37:21,111 - ls wrestling real ? - ln the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no. 582 00:37:21,154 --> 00:37:25,033 - Will sitting too close to the TV set make me go blind ? - Not in a million years. 583 00:37:25,114 --> 00:37:28,026 lf l keep making this face, will it get stuck that way ? 584 00:37:28,114 --> 00:37:30,992 Uh-uh. ln fact some people make a good living that way. 585 00:37:33,794 --> 00:37:36,706 Now listen, Max. You've gotta do something for me. 586 00:37:36,794 --> 00:37:39,308 l need you to take back that wish. 587 00:37:39,394 --> 00:37:41,828 - So you can lie ? - Yes. 588 00:37:41,914 --> 00:37:45,384 But not to you. You see, Max, 589 00:37:45,474 --> 00:37:49,547 sometimes grownups need to lie. 590 00:37:50,634 --> 00:37:53,831 lt's hard to explain, but if-- 591 00:37:53,914 --> 00:37:56,951 Look, here's a good example. When your mommy was pregnant with you, 592 00:37:56,994 --> 00:37:59,713 she gained 40 pounds; there was nothing she wouldn't eat. 593 00:37:59,794 --> 00:38:02,183 And Daddy was scared. But when she'd ask me, "How do l look ?" 594 00:38:02,274 --> 00:38:06,506 l'd say, "Honey, you look great. You're glowing." 595 00:38:06,594 --> 00:38:09,233 lf l had told Mommy she looked like a cow, it would have hurt her feelings. 596 00:38:09,314 --> 00:38:12,863 - Understand ? - My teacher tells me real beauty's on the inside. 597 00:38:12,954 --> 00:38:16,185 That's just something ugly people say. 598 00:38:16,234 --> 00:38:19,943 Max, no one can survive in the adult world if they have to stick to the truth. 599 00:38:20,034 --> 00:38:23,822 l could lose my case, l could lose my promotion, l could even lose my job. 600 00:38:23,874 --> 00:38:25,751 Now, l need your help, Max. 601 00:38:25,794 --> 00:38:28,069 [ Sighs ] Okay. 602 00:38:28,154 --> 00:38:32,193 Okay. Do whatever you did last night, 603 00:38:32,234 --> 00:38:36,386 only this time, make it an "unwish." 604 00:38:44,434 --> 00:38:46,265 l did it. 605 00:38:46,354 --> 00:38:48,504 Excellent ! 606 00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:51,062 Now, l just need a little test. 607 00:39:08,954 --> 00:39:12,424 -Did it work ? -Not like l'd hoped. Did you unwish it ? 608 00:39:12,514 --> 00:39:15,506 - Only-- - What ? Only what ? 609 00:39:15,554 --> 00:39:18,864 Yesterday, when l wished it, l really meant it. 610 00:39:18,914 --> 00:39:22,304 This time when l unwished it, l only did it 'cause you told me to. 611 00:39:23,514 --> 00:39:25,391 All right. Do it again. 612 00:39:25,474 --> 00:39:27,305 And this time, mean it. 613 00:39:27,394 --> 00:39:29,749 - But l can't ! - Why not ? 614 00:39:29,794 --> 00:39:32,991 - 'Cause l don't want you to lie. - l explained this. 615 00:39:33,034 --> 00:39:36,310 l have to lie. Everybody lies. 616 00:39:36,354 --> 00:39:39,630 Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies. 617 00:39:39,714 --> 00:39:42,592 But you're the only one that makes me feel bad. 618 00:39:42,634 --> 00:39:46,309 - [ Bell Ringing ] - [ Teacher ] Max, recess is over. 619 00:39:46,394 --> 00:39:48,510 Come on in ! 620 00:39:52,234 --> 00:39:54,111 Mom says we're moving to Boston. 621 00:39:54,154 --> 00:39:57,430 That isn't for sure yet. 622 00:39:57,474 --> 00:40:00,068 She promised we'd talk about it tonight. 623 00:40:01,114 --> 00:40:02,945 l am comin' ! 624 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,184 You believe me, don't you, Max ? 625 00:40:06,234 --> 00:40:08,987 l'll see you later, buddy. 626 00:40:10,554 --> 00:40:12,385 [ Squish ] 627 00:40:16,634 --> 00:40:18,147 [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 628 00:40:18,234 --> 00:40:21,943 - Fletcher. How's it hangin' ? - Short, shriveled and always to the left. 629 00:40:25,954 --> 00:40:29,310 Boss, it's Skull. He knocked over another A.T.M. 630 00:40:29,354 --> 00:40:32,869 This time at knife-point. He needs your legal advice. 631 00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:40,383 [ Shouting ] Stop breakin' the law, asshole ! 632 00:40:47,994 --> 00:40:49,825 Boss, are you all right ? 633 00:40:49,914 --> 00:40:52,223 My son hates me. 634 00:40:53,634 --> 00:40:57,991 Max loves you. l've seen you together. You're his hero. 635 00:40:58,074 --> 00:41:01,271 Oh, yeah ? 636 00:41:01,314 --> 00:41:04,670 Last night at his birthday party, he made a wish... 637 00:41:04,714 --> 00:41:07,911 that l wouldn't be able to lie for one whole day. 638 00:41:07,994 --> 00:41:10,383 - Kids. - lt came true. 639 00:41:10,434 --> 00:41:13,949 - What ? - Max's wish ! 640 00:41:13,994 --> 00:41:16,349 lt came true. 641 00:41:21,874 --> 00:41:24,832 Boss, maybe you should just take a few days off. 642 00:41:24,874 --> 00:41:29,072 Greta ! Didn't it seem weird to you that l kept tellin' the truth all morning ? 643 00:41:29,154 --> 00:41:30,985 Well, yeah. But-- 644 00:41:32,914 --> 00:41:36,350 What are you saying ? That you are incapable of lying ? 645 00:41:36,394 --> 00:41:39,431 That's right ! l am incapable of lying ! 646 00:41:39,514 --> 00:41:43,712 - [ Greta ] Just for today ? - Apparently. 'Til 8:15 tonight. 647 00:41:43,794 --> 00:41:45,750 lt's one of those 24-hour curses. 648 00:41:45,794 --> 00:41:47,671 [ Greta ] Those are goin' around. 649 00:41:47,714 --> 00:41:49,989 - You don't believe me, do you ? - Of course not. 650 00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:53,544 [ Chuckles ] How ironic ! 651 00:41:53,634 --> 00:41:57,422 Okay. Ask me something you think l would normally lie about. 652 00:41:57,474 --> 00:42:01,149 All right. Remember a couple of months ago when l wanted a raise ? 653 00:42:01,194 --> 00:42:04,266 - l don't want to do this. - And the company wouldn't give me one... 654 00:42:04,354 --> 00:42:07,551 and l asked if you would give it to me out of your own pocket... 655 00:42:07,594 --> 00:42:11,667 And you said the company would not allow it, because it would create jealousy... 656 00:42:11,714 --> 00:42:13,784 among the other secretaries. 657 00:42:13,834 --> 00:42:18,589 Was that true, or did you just not want to pony up the dough ? 658 00:42:20,234 --> 00:42:22,907 Greta, please ! 659 00:42:22,994 --> 00:42:27,226 Judge Stevens, hi ! Fletcher Reede. l'm scheduled in your court in half an hour. 660 00:42:27,274 --> 00:42:30,903 Judge Stevens, l badly, badly need a continuance. lll ? 661 00:42:30,954 --> 00:42:34,742 Am l ill ? That is the perfect question for you to ask. 662 00:42:34,794 --> 00:42:37,672 - Please lie for me ! - l remember when you bought me this... 663 00:42:37,754 --> 00:42:40,746 antique frame from Tiffany's-- Tiffany's ? 664 00:42:40,834 --> 00:42:44,190 Garage sale. Six-fifty, marked down from ten. 665 00:42:44,234 --> 00:42:46,464 [ Glass Breaking ] 666 00:42:46,554 --> 00:42:48,909 l'll give you the raise ! 667 00:42:49,954 --> 00:42:51,831 Here's your raise. 668 00:42:51,874 --> 00:42:56,664 [ Gasps ] Hi, Judge Stevens ! l know l haven't given you an answer. 669 00:42:56,754 --> 00:42:59,632 - [ Phone Ringing ] - But illness could mean so many things. 670 00:42:59,714 --> 00:43:01,944 Can you hold ? Hello ? Mom ! 671 00:43:01,994 --> 00:43:05,509 Hi ! l wasn't really on vacation. 672 00:43:05,594 --> 00:43:08,745 Because l didn't want to talk to you ! 673 00:43:08,834 --> 00:43:12,509 Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements-- size, color, frequency ! 674 00:43:12,594 --> 00:43:15,233 l'll call you later ! [ Punching Buttons ] Hello ? 675 00:43:15,314 --> 00:43:17,908 Oh, damn it ! l cut him off. 676 00:43:17,954 --> 00:43:20,673 l cut off the judge ! 677 00:43:20,714 --> 00:43:23,387 [ Screaming ] 678 00:43:24,874 --> 00:43:27,752 Greta ! Don't leave ! 679 00:43:32,274 --> 00:43:37,029 Mr. Reede. Several years ago, a friend had a burglar on her roof. 680 00:43:37,114 --> 00:43:41,790 He fell through the skylight, landed on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. 681 00:43:41,834 --> 00:43:45,144 The burglar sued my friend. He sued my friend ! 682 00:43:45,234 --> 00:43:47,350 Because of guys like you, he won ! 683 00:43:47,394 --> 00:43:51,672 My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. ls that justice ? 684 00:43:51,714 --> 00:43:54,945 No. l'd have got him ten. 685 00:43:56,354 --> 00:43:58,584 - Good-bye, Mr. Reede. - No, wait ! 686 00:43:58,634 --> 00:44:00,545 l didn't understand ! Ask me again ! 687 00:44:00,914 --> 00:44:03,872 - Have a nice day in court. - Greta ! 688 00:44:04,994 --> 00:44:07,554 - Hi. - God in heaven ! 689 00:44:07,634 --> 00:44:09,909 lt's nice to see you too, Fletcher. Are you busy ? 690 00:44:09,954 --> 00:44:13,629 - Extremely. - Good. Would you follow me, please ? 691 00:44:17,314 --> 00:44:20,989 Did you know that the partnership committee is headed by Mr. Allan himself ? 692 00:44:21,074 --> 00:44:24,191 - Mm-hmm. - You used to work directly for Mr. Allan. 693 00:44:24,234 --> 00:44:27,624 - Yeah. - Tell me. What do you think of him ? 694 00:44:27,714 --> 00:44:31,548 [ Gasps ] He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard ! 695 00:44:31,634 --> 00:44:36,230 A belligerent old fart ! A steaming pile of cow dung ! Figuratively speaking. 696 00:44:36,314 --> 00:44:39,272 Really ? How delightful. This way. 697 00:44:41,194 --> 00:44:46,587 Pardon me for interrupting. Mr. Allan, you remember Fletcher Reede ? 698 00:44:46,674 --> 00:44:49,632 Oh, yes ! Nice to see you again, Fletcher. 699 00:44:49,674 --> 00:44:52,586 l'll be observing you in court this afternoon. 700 00:44:52,674 --> 00:44:55,427 l've been hearing some good things about you. 701 00:44:55,514 --> 00:45:00,224 Well, Fletcher has just been telling me how much he thinks of you. 702 00:45:00,314 --> 00:45:04,512 Why don't you tell Mr. Allan ? Well, what do you think of him ? 703 00:45:10,874 --> 00:45:15,072 He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard. 704 00:45:15,114 --> 00:45:20,108 A belligerent old fart. A worthless, steaming pile of cow dung. 705 00:45:20,194 --> 00:45:23,345 [ Sighs ] Figuratively speaking. 706 00:45:35,554 --> 00:45:38,352 [ Laughs ] 707 00:45:39,554 --> 00:45:41,510 [ All Laughing ] 708 00:45:43,274 --> 00:45:45,549 That's the funniest damn thing l've ever heard ! 709 00:45:45,634 --> 00:45:48,353 You're a real card, Reede ! 710 00:45:48,434 --> 00:45:50,709 l love a good roast ! 711 00:45:51,714 --> 00:45:54,069 Do Simmons ! 712 00:45:54,114 --> 00:45:56,184 - Simmons is old ! - [ Everyone Laughs ] 713 00:45:56,234 --> 00:46:00,750 He should have been out years ago, but he can't stay home 'cause he hates his wife ! 714 00:46:02,474 --> 00:46:04,908 You've met her at the Christmas parties. 715 00:46:04,994 --> 00:46:08,191 She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard. 716 00:46:08,234 --> 00:46:12,273 And you, Tom. You're the biggest brownnose l've ever seen ! 717 00:46:12,354 --> 00:46:16,984 You've got your head so far up Mr. Allan's ass, l can't tell where you end and he begins ! 718 00:46:17,034 --> 00:46:19,150 Priceless ! 719 00:46:20,794 --> 00:46:23,911 You have bad breath caused by gingivitis. 720 00:46:23,994 --> 00:46:28,385 You couldn't get a porn star off. Your hairpiece looks like something that was killed. 721 00:46:28,474 --> 00:46:33,025 l don't know whether to comb it or scrape it off and bury it in lime ! 722 00:46:33,114 --> 00:46:37,346 Loser ! ldiot ! Wimp ! Degenerate ! 723 00:46:37,434 --> 00:46:40,187 Slut ! 724 00:46:41,794 --> 00:46:46,026 l like your style, Reede ! That's what this stuffy company needs ! 725 00:46:46,114 --> 00:46:50,312 - A little irreverence ! - Good ! l'll see you later, dick-head ! 726 00:46:51,314 --> 00:46:53,782 Dick-head ! Priceless ! 727 00:46:53,874 --> 00:46:56,752 Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo ! 728 00:46:56,834 --> 00:46:59,667 [ Laughing Continues ] 729 00:47:09,954 --> 00:47:12,832 [ Moans ] Keep your eye on that boy. 730 00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:15,382 Dick-head ! 731 00:47:15,434 --> 00:47:19,825 [ Laughing Loudly ] 732 00:47:19,874 --> 00:47:21,751 [ Thud ] 733 00:47:25,234 --> 00:47:27,065 [ People Murmuring ] 734 00:47:33,074 --> 00:47:37,147 [ Bailiff ] Third District Court is now in session. 735 00:47:37,234 --> 00:47:41,466 The honorable Judge Marshall Stevens presiding. 736 00:47:41,794 --> 00:47:45,946 Afternoon, Counselors. Are we ready to begin ? 737 00:47:46,034 --> 00:47:48,594 No, sir ! We are not ready to begin... 738 00:47:48,674 --> 00:47:50,869 because my client has not arrived ! 739 00:47:50,954 --> 00:47:52,785 Hurry up ! Move it, move it ! 740 00:47:52,874 --> 00:47:55,786 Here she comes to wreck the day 741 00:47:55,874 --> 00:47:58,593 - Mr. Reede ! - Sorry, Your Honor. 742 00:47:58,634 --> 00:48:00,704 Go, go, go. Lupe, you keep those kids quiet. 743 00:48:00,754 --> 00:48:02,790 - l'm not even close to kidding. - Sí, seňora. 744 00:48:02,834 --> 00:48:06,144 [ Sighs ] Sorry. Billy threw up in the car. 745 00:48:06,194 --> 00:48:08,628 You brought your kids to your divorce ? 746 00:48:08,714 --> 00:48:10,784 - Sympathy. - Well, it's working. 747 00:48:10,834 --> 00:48:12,870 - l feel sorry for them already. - Hmm. 748 00:48:12,914 --> 00:48:15,269 [ Judge ] Miss Appleton, you may begin. 749 00:48:15,314 --> 00:48:17,874 From March 6 through June 12... 750 00:48:17,954 --> 00:48:21,105 l surveilled Mrs. Cole at the behest of Mr. Cole. 751 00:48:21,194 --> 00:48:23,754 During that period, l noted that Mr. Cole... 752 00:48:23,834 --> 00:48:26,826 left each day between 7:40 and 7:50. 753 00:48:26,914 --> 00:48:30,350 Thereafter Mrs. Cole would frequently have... 754 00:48:30,434 --> 00:48:34,313 a male visitor arrive and stay from one to four hours. 755 00:48:34,354 --> 00:48:38,825 l was able to take several photographs of the male visitor. 756 00:48:38,914 --> 00:48:41,348 l see. 757 00:48:41,394 --> 00:48:45,353 Do you know what Mrs. Cole and her male visitor did... 758 00:48:45,394 --> 00:48:48,352 during these frequent... visits ? 759 00:48:48,394 --> 00:48:51,670 [ Witness ] Well, they were pretty good about keeping the shades drawn, 760 00:48:51,754 --> 00:48:56,191 but l was able to make a recording of one such session. 761 00:48:57,554 --> 00:48:59,670 Your Honor, as you are aware, 762 00:48:59,754 --> 00:49:02,063 under the terms of the prenuptial agreement, 763 00:49:02,154 --> 00:49:05,783 if Mrs. Cole commits adultery, she is entitled to nothing. 764 00:49:05,834 --> 00:49:09,588 With your permission, we'd like to play the following tape recording. 765 00:49:09,674 --> 00:49:11,904 [ Playback Button Clicking ] 766 00:49:11,954 --> 00:49:14,070 [ Samantha Moaning On Tape ] 767 00:49:14,154 --> 00:49:16,509 [ Man On Tape ] Here comes big daddy ! 768 00:49:16,554 --> 00:49:19,671 [ Samantha ] Oh, God ! Do it to me ! 769 00:49:19,754 --> 00:49:23,349 - [ Man Grunting ] - Do it to me ! Harder ! Harder ! 770 00:49:23,434 --> 00:49:25,664 [ Gulping ] 771 00:49:25,714 --> 00:49:28,547 [ Samantha Moaning, Screaming ] 772 00:49:28,634 --> 00:49:30,704 Oh, come on ! 773 00:49:30,794 --> 00:49:36,107 Your Honor, how can it be proved that the male voice on that tape is not Mr. Cole himself ? 774 00:49:36,194 --> 00:49:40,153 [ Samantha On Tape ] You are such a better lover than my husband ! 775 00:49:40,234 --> 00:49:43,590 - Your Honor, l object ! - And why is that, Mr. Reede ? 776 00:49:43,634 --> 00:49:46,467 - lt's devastating to my case ! - Overruled. 777 00:49:46,514 --> 00:49:48,505 Good call ! 778 00:49:48,554 --> 00:49:51,944 - [ Man On Tape ] l gotta go. l haven't cleaned your pool. - Your witness. 779 00:49:52,034 --> 00:49:54,867 [ Samantha Panting On Tape ] All right. 780 00:49:54,954 --> 00:49:57,912 Well, Mr. Reede, you may proceed. 781 00:50:03,154 --> 00:50:05,031 [ Whispers ] How ? 782 00:50:28,314 --> 00:50:31,670 Your Honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break ? 783 00:50:31,754 --> 00:50:34,473 - Can't it wait ? - Yes, it can. 784 00:50:34,554 --> 00:50:37,785 But l've heard that if you hold it, it can damage the prostate gland, 785 00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:40,302 making it very difficult to get an erection ! 786 00:50:40,394 --> 00:50:43,067 - ls that true ? - lt has to be. 787 00:50:43,114 --> 00:50:45,947 Well, in that case, l better take a little break myself. 788 00:50:45,994 --> 00:50:49,191 But you get back here immediately so we can finish this. 789 00:50:51,994 --> 00:50:55,031 [ Murmuring ] 790 00:51:00,794 --> 00:51:03,354 [ Groaning ] 791 00:51:05,194 --> 00:51:09,233 How am l going to get out of this ? 792 00:51:10,474 --> 00:51:13,830 Think. Think. 793 00:51:13,874 --> 00:51:17,662 Think ! Owie ! 794 00:51:20,234 --> 00:51:22,270 Owie ! 795 00:51:25,314 --> 00:51:28,147 [ Grunting ] 796 00:51:31,474 --> 00:51:36,150 [ Screaming ] 797 00:51:38,674 --> 00:51:41,552 [ Yelling, Groaning ] 798 00:51:43,714 --> 00:51:46,706 Ohh ! Ohh ! Ohh ! 799 00:51:46,794 --> 00:51:50,025 [ Groaning Continues ] 800 00:51:53,154 --> 00:51:55,429 [ Crash ] 801 00:51:58,154 --> 00:52:01,942 [ Grunting ] 802 00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:04,872 [ Groaning ] 803 00:52:06,674 --> 00:52:11,031 [ Screaming, Crying ] 804 00:52:11,114 --> 00:52:13,423 What the hell are you doing ? 805 00:52:14,554 --> 00:52:18,263 l'm kicking my ass ! Do you mind ? 806 00:52:20,434 --> 00:52:22,868 [ Screams ] 807 00:52:31,634 --> 00:52:33,784 [ Murmuring ] 808 00:52:38,194 --> 00:52:41,982 [ Groaning, Gasping ] 809 00:52:42,034 --> 00:52:44,912 [ Bailiff ] l found him like this in the bathroom, Your Honor. 810 00:52:44,994 --> 00:52:46,871 Somebody beat the hell out of him. 811 00:52:46,954 --> 00:52:49,752 - Who did this ? - A madman, Your Honor ! 812 00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:52,906 A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope ! 813 00:52:52,994 --> 00:52:55,030 What did he look like ? 814 00:52:55,114 --> 00:52:58,231 About 6'2", 180 pounds, big teeth, kind of gangly. 815 00:52:58,314 --> 00:53:00,703 Bailiff, have the deputy search the building. 816 00:53:00,754 --> 00:53:03,143 - Yes, sir. - [ Spectators Murmuring ] 817 00:53:03,234 --> 00:53:05,668 Order ! Order ! 818 00:53:05,714 --> 00:53:08,308 [ Gavel Pounding ] 819 00:53:10,034 --> 00:53:13,344 Under the circumstances, l have no choice but to recess this case... 820 00:53:13,394 --> 00:53:16,306 until 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. 821 00:53:16,394 --> 00:53:19,466 Unless, of course, you feel you can still proceed. 822 00:53:23,114 --> 00:53:25,344 Can you ? 823 00:53:29,594 --> 00:53:34,031 [ Sobbing ] Yes, l can. 824 00:53:34,114 --> 00:53:36,912 l admire your courage, Mr. Reede. 825 00:53:36,994 --> 00:53:39,554 We'll take a short recess so that you can compose yourself, 826 00:53:39,594 --> 00:53:41,664 and then we'll get started. 827 00:53:51,114 --> 00:53:52,991 Here you go. 828 00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:01,708 - [ Phone Rings ] - [ Gasps ] 829 00:54:01,794 --> 00:54:05,787 - [ Phone Rings ] - Hello ? 830 00:54:05,834 --> 00:54:09,349 - Dad ? - Max ? How's it goin' ? 831 00:54:09,394 --> 00:54:11,862 Great. You know Paul and Emanuel from across the street ? 832 00:54:11,914 --> 00:54:15,509 - Yeah. Uh-huh. - Well, they never want to play baseball with me. 833 00:54:15,594 --> 00:54:17,824 But l told them l'm playing tonight with my dad. 834 00:54:17,874 --> 00:54:20,069 So now they want to play. ls that okay ? 835 00:54:20,114 --> 00:54:22,992 Sure. The more the merrier. 836 00:54:23,074 --> 00:54:25,065 Coolest ! Do you wanna be Jose Canseco ? 837 00:54:25,154 --> 00:54:29,705 Oh, yeah. Who else is gonna hit that famous Nomo slider ? 838 00:54:29,794 --> 00:54:33,025 - Mr. Reede. - l gotta go now, Max. 839 00:54:33,114 --> 00:54:37,824 - l'll see you in a couple hours. Okay ? Bye. - Bye, Dad. 840 00:54:38,914 --> 00:54:42,190 He's really coming ! l'm gonna go change. 841 00:54:42,274 --> 00:54:44,230 - Okay, go ahead ! - Yeah ! 842 00:54:48,794 --> 00:54:50,864 Mr. Reede ! 843 00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:54,993 [ Mocking ] Mr. Reede ! Mr.-- 844 00:54:55,074 --> 00:54:57,269 This is my lawyer. He's a little unorthodox. 845 00:54:59,874 --> 00:55:02,911 Mr. Reede, you remember Kenneth Falk, the man from the tape. 846 00:55:02,954 --> 00:55:05,468 - How could l forget ? - Hey, how you doin' ? 847 00:55:05,514 --> 00:55:08,551 l've slipped into the seventh circle of hell ! Thank you. 848 00:55:08,594 --> 00:55:11,472 - You ? - Shouldn't we be going over our testimony right now ? 849 00:55:11,554 --> 00:55:14,307 Basically, the plan is, l walk you through the tape. 850 00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,464 Step-by-step, l ask you questions. 851 00:55:16,554 --> 00:55:20,263 - And we give the explanation you came up with. - Exactly. 852 00:55:20,354 --> 00:55:22,390 All we gotta do is lie. That sounds simple enough. 853 00:55:22,474 --> 00:55:24,430 Doesn't it ! 854 00:55:24,514 --> 00:55:27,267 Then l'll finish up with dramatic questions. 855 00:55:27,314 --> 00:55:32,752 Something like: Mr. Falk, isn't it true that you and Mrs. Cole... 856 00:55:32,834 --> 00:55:36,622 have never made Lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo, lo-- 857 00:55:36,714 --> 00:55:38,545 Lo-- 858 00:55:40,354 --> 00:55:44,666 Ugh ! Oh, God ! l can't do it. 859 00:55:44,714 --> 00:55:48,673 l can't finish the question if l know the answer is a lie. 860 00:56:02,474 --> 00:56:06,228 You may proceed, Mr. Reede. 861 00:56:18,794 --> 00:56:22,309 Respondent calls... 862 00:56:22,394 --> 00:56:24,271 Kenneth Falk. 863 00:56:40,114 --> 00:56:41,991 Raise your right hand. 864 00:56:42,034 --> 00:56:45,913 Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God ? 865 00:56:45,994 --> 00:56:49,543 l do ! l mean-- 866 00:56:52,314 --> 00:56:54,953 l do. 867 00:57:00,194 --> 00:57:02,947 Mr. Falk. [ Clears Throat ] 868 00:57:05,954 --> 00:57:08,024 Do you know my client, Samantha Cole ? 869 00:57:08,074 --> 00:57:10,030 Yes. 870 00:57:13,514 --> 00:57:17,792 lsn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic ? 871 00:57:17,834 --> 00:57:19,790 l object, Your Honor ! 872 00:57:19,874 --> 00:57:22,183 To yourself ? 873 00:57:22,274 --> 00:57:24,310 Yeah. 874 00:57:24,394 --> 00:57:28,148 But l would like to... rephrase the question. 875 00:57:28,234 --> 00:57:30,509 [ Groans ] 876 00:57:30,594 --> 00:57:33,711 Mr. Falk, would l be accurate... 877 00:57:33,794 --> 00:57:38,310 if l described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as totally professional ? 878 00:57:38,354 --> 00:57:41,391 l object, Your Honor, and l move to strike ! 879 00:57:41,474 --> 00:57:43,942 Mr. Reede, l don't know what you're on, 880 00:57:44,034 --> 00:57:47,390 but you better get to the point and quick. 881 00:57:47,434 --> 00:57:49,629 Thank you, sir. 882 00:57:49,674 --> 00:57:52,347 [ Murmuring ] 883 00:57:52,394 --> 00:57:55,784 ls your relationship with my client entirely platonic ? 884 00:57:55,874 --> 00:57:58,468 Not ! ls not your relationship with my client: 885 00:57:58,514 --> 00:58:01,665 "Boink ! Bad baby, bad baby !" 886 00:58:01,714 --> 00:58:03,784 Did you ever not make lo-- 887 00:58:03,874 --> 00:58:06,752 - Did you-- [ Exhaling ] - Mr. Reede ! 888 00:58:06,794 --> 00:58:10,787 You had sex with her every time you met, didn't you ? Didn't you ! Liar ! 889 00:58:10,834 --> 00:58:12,904 - He's badgering the witness. - lt's his witness. 890 00:58:12,994 --> 00:58:16,384 You slammed her ! You dunked her donuts ! You gave her dog a "snaussage" ! 891 00:58:16,434 --> 00:58:18,743 You stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey ! 892 00:58:18,794 --> 00:58:21,103 [ Gobbling Like Turkey ] 893 00:58:21,194 --> 00:58:25,870 All right, it's true, okay ! l humped her brains out ! There ! Now you happy ? 894 00:58:31,954 --> 00:58:34,149 No further questions. 895 00:58:35,594 --> 00:58:38,427 [ Low Murmuring ] 896 00:58:48,994 --> 00:58:52,225 Um-- 897 00:58:52,274 --> 00:58:54,947 No questions. 898 00:58:54,994 --> 00:58:57,827 [ Judge ] You may step down. 899 00:59:01,154 --> 00:59:04,305 Do l dare ask you to call your next witness ? 900 00:59:07,634 --> 00:59:10,273 l have no further witnesses, Your Honor. 901 00:59:10,314 --> 00:59:13,112 What are you doing ? Call me ! 902 00:59:13,194 --> 00:59:16,311 You do not understand. l can't lie. 903 00:59:16,394 --> 00:59:19,192 l can't do anything dishonest until 8:15 tonight ! 904 00:59:19,274 --> 00:59:22,232 Listen, you bastard ! l want my money ! 905 00:59:22,314 --> 00:59:25,511 l am not going to end up a 31-year-old divorcee on welfare... 906 00:59:25,554 --> 00:59:29,024 because my scumbag attorney had a sudden attack of conscience ! 907 00:59:29,074 --> 00:59:31,508 Thirty-one ? 908 00:59:31,594 --> 00:59:34,472 lf Mr. Reede has no further witnesses, 909 00:59:34,514 --> 00:59:36,869 then l have no choice but to rule in favor of-- 910 00:59:36,914 --> 00:59:38,745 Your Honor ! 911 00:59:41,034 --> 00:59:43,753 l call Samantha Cole to the stand. 912 00:59:43,794 --> 00:59:47,582 - [ Murmuring, Chattering ] - Order. 913 00:59:47,634 --> 00:59:50,432 Order ! Order ! 914 00:59:50,474 --> 00:59:52,783 - Knock it off ! - Sit down ! 915 00:59:54,634 --> 00:59:57,102 Mr. Reede, it is out of sheer morbid curiosity... 916 00:59:57,194 --> 00:59:59,788 l'm allowing this... freak show to continue. 917 01:00:02,794 --> 01:00:05,911 Mrs. Cole... if you dare. 918 01:00:20,634 --> 01:00:23,228 Mrs. Cole... 919 01:00:23,274 --> 01:00:26,630 is this a copy of your driver's license ? 920 01:00:28,314 --> 01:00:31,431 - Yes. - lt says here you're a blonde. Are you ? 921 01:00:31,474 --> 01:00:34,272 - [ Scoffs ] - lf you don't remember, perhaps Mr. Falk will. 922 01:00:34,314 --> 01:00:36,908 - Brunette. - We can play the tape again. Maybe it's on there. 923 01:00:36,994 --> 01:00:38,950 l'm a brunette ! 924 01:00:38,994 --> 01:00:42,145 Thank you. Now let's see. 925 01:00:42,234 --> 01:00:45,146 "Weight: 105." Yeah ! ln your bra. 926 01:00:45,194 --> 01:00:47,071 - Your Honor, l object ! - You would ! 927 01:00:47,114 --> 01:00:48,991 - Bastard ! - Hag ! 928 01:00:49,034 --> 01:00:51,867 Quiet ! Overruled ! Weight ? 929 01:00:53,474 --> 01:00:55,544 One-eighteen. 930 01:00:55,594 --> 01:00:58,472 All right, fine, fine. l'm 127. 931 01:00:58,514 --> 01:01:01,506 Uh-huh. And it says here you were born in 1964, 932 01:01:01,554 --> 01:01:03,784 but that's not true either, is it ? 933 01:01:03,874 --> 01:01:05,705 - ls it ! - No. 934 01:01:05,794 --> 01:01:09,503 Will you tell me what it says here on your birth certificate under "date of birth" ? 935 01:01:09,554 --> 01:01:12,022 Your Honor, what does this have to do with anything ? 936 01:01:12,074 --> 01:01:14,907 Overruled. Mrs. Cole, answer the question. 937 01:01:14,954 --> 01:01:18,105 [ Blows Air ] "1965." 938 01:01:18,154 --> 01:01:21,510 Now let me get this straight. 939 01:01:21,554 --> 01:01:26,105 That would mean that you lied about your age to make yourself older. 940 01:01:26,154 --> 01:01:30,352 But why would any woman want to do that ? 941 01:01:30,434 --> 01:01:32,868 l changed it so l could get married. 942 01:01:32,914 --> 01:01:37,305 And the truth shall set you free ! 943 01:01:37,354 --> 01:01:39,993 My client lied about her age ! 944 01:01:40,074 --> 01:01:43,305 She was only 17 when she got married, which makes her a minor, 945 01:01:43,394 --> 01:01:45,669 and in the great state of California, 946 01:01:45,754 --> 01:01:47,949 no minor can enter into any legal contract... 947 01:01:48,034 --> 01:01:50,150 without parental consent, including-- 948 01:01:50,194 --> 01:01:52,071 Prenuptial agreements. 949 01:01:52,114 --> 01:01:54,992 Prenuptial agreements ! This contract is void ! 950 01:01:55,074 --> 01:01:58,623 The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant. 951 01:01:58,674 --> 01:02:02,587 Standard Community Property applies, and she is entitled to half of the marital assets, 952 01:02:02,634 --> 01:02:05,068 or $11.395 million ! 953 01:02:05,154 --> 01:02:09,272 Jordan fades back. Swoosh ! And that's the game ! 954 01:02:09,354 --> 01:02:12,346 Nothing further, Your Honor. 955 01:02:12,394 --> 01:02:15,272 [ Applause ] 956 01:02:17,434 --> 01:02:19,789 [ Judge Pounding Gavel ] 957 01:02:19,874 --> 01:02:22,991 Order. Order. Order ! 958 01:02:25,314 --> 01:02:27,270 ln light of this new evidence, 959 01:02:27,354 --> 01:02:29,788 the court must rule in favor of Mrs. Cole. 960 01:02:29,834 --> 01:02:33,747 - Yes ! - She is hereby awarded half the marital assets. 961 01:02:33,834 --> 01:02:37,622 - [ Screams ] - The son of a bitch pulled it off ! 962 01:02:37,674 --> 01:02:41,872 - l didn't know ! - [ Dana ] lt doesn't matter. The contract's void. 963 01:02:41,954 --> 01:02:45,833 [ Judge Pounding Gavel ] Order. Order. 964 01:02:45,874 --> 01:02:49,264 l understand both parties have agreed to joint custody. 965 01:02:49,354 --> 01:02:50,833 - ls that correct ? - Yes. 966 01:02:50,914 --> 01:02:52,313 - Yes. - No. 967 01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:54,225 l'm contesting custody. 968 01:02:54,314 --> 01:02:56,703 - What ? - lf l get sole custody, 969 01:02:56,794 --> 01:02:59,228 that's another ten grand in child support payments. 970 01:02:59,274 --> 01:03:01,583 You just won $11 million ! 971 01:03:01,674 --> 01:03:04,393 Hey, l'm the victim here. You said it yourself. 972 01:03:04,474 --> 01:03:07,750 Now l'm gonna hit him where it hurts. 973 01:03:07,834 --> 01:03:12,032 [ Whispering ] But you-- you said he was a good father. 974 01:03:12,074 --> 01:03:14,508 So ? 975 01:03:16,234 --> 01:03:20,989 Well, Mr. Reede, do we have an agreement on custody or not ? 976 01:03:23,554 --> 01:03:25,385 No. 977 01:03:25,474 --> 01:03:28,227 l see. 978 01:03:28,274 --> 01:03:33,029 ln that case, there will be a custody hearing on the 19th at 9:00 a.m. 979 01:03:33,074 --> 01:03:35,304 Court is adjourned. 980 01:03:35,394 --> 01:03:38,750 [ Murmuring, Chattering ] 981 01:03:41,474 --> 01:03:43,749 - Come on, let's go. - Daddy ! 982 01:03:43,794 --> 01:03:46,627 You stop that whining, or l'll give you something to whine about ! 983 01:03:46,674 --> 01:03:49,268 l wanna go with Daddy ! 984 01:03:49,354 --> 01:03:52,073 Come here, kids. Come on. lt's all right. Don't you worry. 985 01:03:52,114 --> 01:03:55,151 l promise we'll be together, whatever l have to do. 986 01:03:55,234 --> 01:03:57,190 lt's okay. lt's okay. 987 01:03:57,234 --> 01:04:00,146 Oh, for God's sake, will you give me those ? They're mine ! 988 01:04:00,234 --> 01:04:03,032 Let go of Daddy ! Let go of him ! Let go of Daddy ! 989 01:04:03,114 --> 01:04:06,345 - We're leaving now ! Lupe, come on ! - Sí, seňora. 990 01:04:06,434 --> 01:04:10,473 Don't you have some checks to write ? You haven't paid for them yet. 991 01:04:21,674 --> 01:04:24,791 [ Laughing ] l love children. 992 01:04:24,874 --> 01:04:27,672 They give you so much leverage in a case like this. 993 01:04:27,754 --> 01:04:31,906 You did an incredible job, partner. 994 01:04:31,954 --> 01:04:34,184 [ Laughing ] Look at him. 995 01:04:34,274 --> 01:04:36,629 He's stunned. He can't believe it. 996 01:04:39,074 --> 01:04:42,271 Your Honor, may l please approach the bench ? 997 01:04:42,314 --> 01:04:44,589 We're adjourned, Mr. Reede. 998 01:04:44,674 --> 01:04:47,984 Your Honor, l think we've made a big mistake. 999 01:04:48,074 --> 01:04:50,429 Mr. Reede, l am tired and very cranky. 1000 01:04:50,474 --> 01:04:54,103 l know, but this is just... wrong, isn't it ? 1001 01:04:54,154 --> 01:04:56,190 l manipulated the system. 1002 01:04:56,234 --> 01:05:00,022 Just because you bought it doesn't mean l'm right. lt's a technicality ! 1003 01:05:00,074 --> 01:05:03,111 Young man, having my judgement mocked in my own court... 1004 01:05:03,194 --> 01:05:05,424 is not something l'm prepared to tolerate ! 1005 01:05:05,514 --> 01:05:09,632 Well, tell that to the kids when they're adopted... by the Manson family ! 1006 01:05:09,674 --> 01:05:13,587 One more word out of you, Mr. Reede, and l'll hold you in contempt ! 1007 01:05:13,674 --> 01:05:16,472 l hold myself in contempt ! 1008 01:05:16,554 --> 01:05:18,670 Why should you be any different ? 1009 01:05:18,754 --> 01:05:20,665 Bailiff, take him away ! 1010 01:05:20,714 --> 01:05:23,512 This man is a good father, and children are not leverage ! 1011 01:05:23,594 --> 01:05:27,667 Oh, no, don't do this ! l have a date to play ball with my son ! 1012 01:05:27,754 --> 01:05:31,269 l can't be late ! lt's my last chance ! 1013 01:05:31,354 --> 01:05:33,584 l'm Jose Canseco ! 1014 01:05:33,674 --> 01:05:36,905 l'm Jose Canseco ! 1015 01:05:39,754 --> 01:05:41,631 Phone call ! Phone call ! 1016 01:05:41,674 --> 01:05:44,507 l get a phone call ! l get a phone call ! 1017 01:05:44,554 --> 01:05:46,670 - l get a phone call ! - [ Phone Ringing ] 1018 01:05:46,754 --> 01:05:49,143 - [ Phone Rings ] - Hello ? 1019 01:05:49,194 --> 01:05:51,662 Audrey, it's me. Don't hang up ! 1020 01:05:51,754 --> 01:05:54,222 l can't talk right now. Our flight leaves at 8:00. 1021 01:05:54,314 --> 01:05:58,273 - What ? - l'm taking Max someplace where you can't do this anymore. 1022 01:05:58,314 --> 01:06:01,511 Audrey, wait ! The most amazing thing has happened to me. 1023 01:06:01,554 --> 01:06:05,149 l'm a changed man ! Just come to the courthouse with $1,000 and bail me out. 1024 01:06:05,194 --> 01:06:08,072 - [ Sighs ] - Hello ? Hello ? 1025 01:06:08,154 --> 01:06:11,226 - Time's up, pal. - No, just one more call. Just one more call. 1026 01:06:11,274 --> 01:06:14,550 [ Groaning ] 1027 01:06:14,634 --> 01:06:17,353 [ Audrey ] Okay, let's go. 1028 01:06:18,954 --> 01:06:20,831 - Ready ? - Yeah. 1029 01:06:20,874 --> 01:06:23,707 - Will you get the door, please ? - Okay. 1030 01:06:23,754 --> 01:06:25,949 Thank you. 1031 01:06:25,994 --> 01:06:29,350 Mr. Reede, you made bail. 1032 01:06:29,394 --> 01:06:32,386 Greta ! Oh, thank God ! 1033 01:06:32,434 --> 01:06:35,904 Am l too late ? Have you been sexually molested yet ? 1034 01:06:35,994 --> 01:06:38,349 Because l could circle the block. 1035 01:06:38,434 --> 01:06:40,664 How did you know l was here ? 1036 01:06:40,714 --> 01:06:42,909 One of the other secretaries called me at home, 1037 01:06:42,954 --> 01:06:45,309 said you went all noble in front of Mr. Allan. 1038 01:06:45,354 --> 01:06:47,549 Yeah, l think l'm fired. lsn't that great ? 1039 01:06:47,594 --> 01:06:49,824 l'll start my own firm. Do you need a job ? 1040 01:06:49,874 --> 01:06:52,308 l don't think you can afford me. 1041 01:06:52,394 --> 01:06:55,386 [ Both Laughing ] 1042 01:06:55,434 --> 01:06:58,949 Oh, man, l gotta get my car. Audrey's on her way to the airport. 1043 01:06:58,994 --> 01:07:02,589 l could lose Max forever. l can't let that happen. l love him ! 1044 01:07:02,634 --> 01:07:05,148 You know, this truth stuff is pretty cool. 1045 01:07:05,194 --> 01:07:09,073 l love my son ! l love my son ! 1046 01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:12,669 l love my son ! l love my son ! 1047 01:07:12,714 --> 01:07:16,263 Hey, need some change ? Take everything ! 1048 01:07:18,154 --> 01:07:20,031 But it's not gonna make you happy. 1049 01:07:20,074 --> 01:07:22,429 - [ Muttering ] - l love my son ! 1050 01:07:22,474 --> 01:07:24,669 l love my son ! 1051 01:07:24,714 --> 01:07:27,387 l love my son ! 1052 01:07:28,554 --> 01:07:30,670 Hey, there you are ! 1053 01:07:30,754 --> 01:07:33,393 - Hi. - Just in time. 1054 01:07:33,474 --> 01:07:36,352 Oh, this is the happiest moment of my entire life. 1055 01:07:36,394 --> 01:07:39,545 O-Oh ! Well, m-me, m-mine-- 1056 01:07:39,594 --> 01:07:41,869 Well, ours... also. 1057 01:07:41,954 --> 01:07:46,266 Hey, gipper. l have something for you, young man. 1058 01:07:46,314 --> 01:07:49,943 Ooh, watch yourself. lt's the claw ! 1059 01:07:49,994 --> 01:07:52,508 [ Laughs ] Ooh, the claw's comin' at ya. 1060 01:07:52,554 --> 01:07:56,388 Ooh, you're scared of the claw. You're scared of the claw. 1061 01:07:56,434 --> 01:07:59,471 - Jerry. Jerry. - Huh ? 1062 01:07:59,554 --> 01:08:01,704 lt's okay. You don't have to-- 1063 01:08:01,794 --> 01:08:05,150 [ Woman On Loudspeaker ] Tower Air flight 1511 to Boston is now boarding. 1064 01:08:05,194 --> 01:08:07,071 - Ooh, that's us. - Yeah. 1065 01:08:07,114 --> 01:08:09,674 - Ready to go ? - Yes. You ready ? 1066 01:08:09,714 --> 01:08:11,784 - Okay. - Great. 1067 01:08:11,874 --> 01:08:13,592 [ Woman On Loudspeaker ] Jim Rubing, please report to Airport Security. 1068 01:08:14,354 --> 01:08:17,266 [ Tires Screeching ] 1069 01:08:19,794 --> 01:08:21,671 Excuse me ! 1070 01:08:21,754 --> 01:08:24,552 What gate is flight 1511 leaving from ? lt's an emergency ! 1071 01:08:24,594 --> 01:08:27,791 Gate number 123, but you'll never make it. Flight's already boarding. 1072 01:08:27,874 --> 01:08:30,513 lt takes more than a half hour to get through security. 1073 01:08:30,594 --> 01:08:34,348 lf you want to go to Boston, there's another flight leaving tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. 1074 01:08:34,434 --> 01:08:36,584 Flight number one-twenty-- 1075 01:08:38,514 --> 01:08:41,426 [ Stewardess On Speaker ] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1511... 1076 01:08:41,514 --> 01:08:43,630 from Los Angeles to Boston's Logan Airport. 1077 01:08:43,714 --> 01:08:47,309 We'll be departing shortly, and if you need help stowing your carry-on items-- 1078 01:08:47,394 --> 01:08:49,191 - Honey, can l help you ? - l'm fine. 1079 01:08:49,234 --> 01:08:53,068 - Are you sure ? - Jerry, l can open the bag ! 1080 01:08:54,474 --> 01:08:56,669 Would you like anything to drink before takeoff ? 1081 01:08:56,714 --> 01:08:59,751 Yes. Anything with alcohol, please. 1082 01:08:59,794 --> 01:09:02,149 Audrey. 1083 01:09:02,194 --> 01:09:05,823 [ Stewardess ] lf you'll focus on the screen, we'll be running a safety video. 1084 01:09:05,874 --> 01:09:07,944 How about that drink ? 1085 01:09:13,834 --> 01:09:16,394 [ Grunting ] 1086 01:09:29,194 --> 01:09:32,391 Max ! Max ! 1087 01:09:34,034 --> 01:09:36,832 Max ! 1088 01:09:36,874 --> 01:09:39,104 Wait ! 1089 01:09:42,514 --> 01:09:45,347 [ Grunts ] That oughta do it. 1090 01:09:47,434 --> 01:09:49,152 Hey ! 1091 01:09:49,194 --> 01:09:51,662 Thanks ! lt's running great ! 1092 01:09:51,754 --> 01:09:54,393 [ Tires Screeching ] 1093 01:09:54,474 --> 01:09:56,704 Max ! 1094 01:10:00,394 --> 01:10:04,672 Hey ! Max ! 1095 01:10:04,714 --> 01:10:07,672 Hey ! 1096 01:10:18,314 --> 01:10:21,192 Max ! l'm coming ! 1097 01:10:30,834 --> 01:10:33,189 Max ! 1098 01:10:41,514 --> 01:10:44,586 Max ! Max, where are you ? 1099 01:10:48,834 --> 01:10:50,665 l love you. 1100 01:10:50,754 --> 01:10:53,348 [ Gasps ] 1101 01:10:53,394 --> 01:10:55,350 Thank you. [ Clears Throat ] 1102 01:10:55,434 --> 01:10:59,222 That wasn't exactly the answer l was looking for. 1103 01:10:59,274 --> 01:11:02,152 [ Sighs ] Thank you very much ? 1104 01:11:05,834 --> 01:11:08,473 - l'm sorry. lt's just-- - Too fast ? 1105 01:11:08,554 --> 01:11:10,829 - lt was too fast, wasn't it ? - No, i-it's-- 1106 01:11:10,914 --> 01:11:13,144 Chemistry ? Whatever it is, we can work on it. 1107 01:11:13,194 --> 01:11:17,551 - No, no, no. lt's just that-- - Oh, my God, it's Fletcher ! 1108 01:11:17,634 --> 01:11:21,263 - No, no, this has nothing to do with Fletcher. - No, honey, it's Fletcher. 1109 01:11:21,354 --> 01:11:24,426 - What ? [ Gasps ] - Dad ? 1110 01:11:25,794 --> 01:11:29,423 l made it ! l'm late, but l made it ! 1111 01:11:29,514 --> 01:11:32,153 What is he doing ? 1112 01:11:32,234 --> 01:11:35,749 He came to see us off. Wave. 1113 01:11:39,114 --> 01:11:42,550 l won't let you go ! 1114 01:11:48,594 --> 01:11:50,789 Oh, shit ! 1115 01:11:50,874 --> 01:11:53,991 Da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da-da-da-da 1116 01:11:55,634 --> 01:11:59,263 Control one-nine, this is Tower 1511, heavy. Ready for takeoff. 1117 01:11:59,314 --> 01:12:02,465 Hey ! 1118 01:12:06,634 --> 01:12:08,829 - What was that ? - Looked like a shoe. 1119 01:12:08,874 --> 01:12:11,024 Pull over ! 1120 01:12:11,114 --> 01:12:13,548 Pull this thing over ! 1121 01:12:13,634 --> 01:12:17,513 Control one-nine, some idiot has hijacked a flight of stairs. We're gonna stop this plane. 1122 01:12:17,554 --> 01:12:21,024 [ Man On Radio ] One-nine Control. We copy. 1123 01:12:22,194 --> 01:12:25,027 Yeah ! 1124 01:12:25,114 --> 01:12:27,469 No-o-o-o-o ! 1125 01:12:47,194 --> 01:12:49,992 [ Screams ] 1126 01:12:50,034 --> 01:12:53,231 [ Jet Taking Off ] 1127 01:12:56,794 --> 01:12:59,388 [ Sirens Wailing ] 1128 01:13:01,314 --> 01:13:03,703 [ Laughing ] 1129 01:13:03,754 --> 01:13:06,143 You people are all doing a wonderful job ! 1130 01:13:06,194 --> 01:13:08,230 That's far enough, folks. 1131 01:13:08,314 --> 01:13:10,953 He's my husband-- was my husband. 1132 01:13:10,994 --> 01:13:12,905 - All right, go ahead. - Okay. 1133 01:13:12,994 --> 01:13:16,066 Max, you stay here with Jerry, and l'll be right back, okay ? 1134 01:13:16,154 --> 01:13:18,827 - [ Sirens Wailing ] - [ Chattering ] 1135 01:13:18,914 --> 01:13:21,508 - Audrey ! Great news ! - Fletcher ! 1136 01:13:21,554 --> 01:13:24,705 Both my legs are broken, so they can't take me right to jail. 1137 01:13:24,754 --> 01:13:27,587 Fletcher, what were you doing ? Are you out of your mind ? 1138 01:13:27,634 --> 01:13:32,344 No, l'm thinking clear. l've never been this clear ! 1139 01:13:32,394 --> 01:13:35,670 - Dad ? - Creep. 1140 01:13:35,754 --> 01:13:39,190 - He was getting kind of upset. - Are you all right ? 1141 01:13:39,274 --> 01:13:43,267 Yeah. l'm hurtin' here, though. 1142 01:13:43,354 --> 01:13:45,822 l'm a dope, Max. 1143 01:13:45,874 --> 01:13:48,229 All this time you've been here... 1144 01:13:48,274 --> 01:13:50,993 and l could see you anytime, but l didn't. 1145 01:13:51,074 --> 01:13:55,431 Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston, and l started thinking. 1146 01:13:55,474 --> 01:13:57,988 l could be sitting around sometime and... 1147 01:13:58,034 --> 01:14:02,505 want to look at you and hold you and play with you, 1148 01:14:02,594 --> 01:14:05,666 and l won't be able to. 1149 01:14:05,714 --> 01:14:09,070 l don't think l'm gonna do too well with that. 1150 01:14:10,714 --> 01:14:14,104 l love you more than anything else in the world, Max, 1151 01:14:14,154 --> 01:14:16,384 and you know it's true. 1152 01:14:16,474 --> 01:14:19,386 l couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today. 1153 01:14:21,394 --> 01:14:26,149 l love you, and l'll never hurt you again. 1154 01:14:29,874 --> 01:14:32,672 He's telling the truth, Mom. He's not allowed to lie. 1155 01:14:32,714 --> 01:14:36,423 l made a wish, and anything Dad says today has to be the truth. 1156 01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:38,345 Max. 1157 01:14:39,434 --> 01:14:41,743 lt's 8:45. 1158 01:14:41,834 --> 01:14:44,029 You made the wish at 8:15. 1159 01:14:44,074 --> 01:14:46,827 l've been able to lie for the last half hour. 1160 01:14:46,914 --> 01:14:49,986 - So you weren't-- - No, it was the truth ! 1161 01:14:50,034 --> 01:14:52,389 l just wanted to be honest with you. 1162 01:14:52,434 --> 01:14:54,789 l always want to be honest with you. 1163 01:14:59,994 --> 01:15:04,033 Mom, do we have to go to Boston ? 1164 01:15:09,034 --> 01:15:11,070 No, Max, you don't have to go. 1165 01:15:11,114 --> 01:15:13,582 - Yeah ! - [ Laughing ] 1166 01:15:13,674 --> 01:15:16,632 l, on the other hand, do have to. 1167 01:15:16,714 --> 01:15:19,433 A hospital to run. 1168 01:15:19,474 --> 01:15:23,467 That's an open-ended ticket if you ever change your mind. 1169 01:15:23,554 --> 01:15:25,670 Thank you. 1170 01:15:29,354 --> 01:15:31,265 [ Fletcher Laughing ] 1171 01:15:31,354 --> 01:15:34,187 Looks like he's got his father back. 1172 01:15:34,274 --> 01:15:37,505 [ Laughing Continues ] 1173 01:15:40,274 --> 01:15:45,985 Happy birthday, dear Maximus 1174 01:15:46,034 --> 01:15:52,223 Happy birthday to you 1175 01:15:52,274 --> 01:15:54,310 Okay, Max, make a wish. 1176 01:15:54,394 --> 01:15:57,830 Ahhh, wait ! l don't know if we should do this. 1177 01:15:57,914 --> 01:16:01,793 Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are the odds of that happening again ? 1178 01:16:03,674 --> 01:16:06,063 Yeah, l guess you're right. 1179 01:16:06,154 --> 01:16:08,145 Okay, Max, go ahead. 1180 01:16:15,154 --> 01:16:18,066 Mom ? Dad ? 1181 01:16:32,234 --> 01:16:34,065 Max ! 1182 01:16:37,434 --> 01:16:40,665 Did you wish for your mom and l to get back together again ? 1183 01:16:40,714 --> 01:16:43,069 No, l wished for Rollerblades. 1184 01:16:46,714 --> 01:16:50,150 Do you want to cut the cake... 1185 01:16:50,194 --> 01:16:52,071 Dad ? 1186 01:16:52,114 --> 01:16:54,230 l'd love to. 1187 01:16:54,314 --> 01:16:57,033 But l have this horrible pain in my arm. 1188 01:16:57,074 --> 01:16:59,030 Oh, no, it's the claw ! 1189 01:16:59,114 --> 01:17:01,833 No one can stop the claw ! 1190 01:17:01,874 --> 01:17:06,026 - [ Screaming ] - No one can stop it ! 1191 01:17:06,114 --> 01:17:09,151 [ Screaming, Laughing ] 1192 01:17:11,034 --> 01:17:14,265 Nothing can stop the claw ! 1193 01:17:14,314 --> 01:17:17,147 [ Growling ] 1194 01:17:21,594 --> 01:17:22,709 [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 1195 01:17:28,394 --> 01:17:31,192 [ Laughing ] 1196 01:17:35,754 --> 01:17:40,032 lf l was a boxer, l would bounce those things like Sugar Ray Leonard. 1197 01:17:40,074 --> 01:17:42,952 - l'm sorry. - [ Laughing ] 1198 01:17:42,994 --> 01:17:45,349 Brought your kids to your divorce ? 1199 01:17:45,434 --> 01:17:47,311 - Sympathy. - Well, it's working ! 1200 01:17:47,394 --> 01:17:49,783 l feel sorry for them already. 1201 01:17:49,834 --> 01:17:52,871 For this you will pay a terrible price. 1202 01:17:52,914 --> 01:17:55,667 [ Laughter ] 1203 01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:58,791 Well, it's working ! l feel sorry for them already. 1204 01:17:58,834 --> 01:18:00,711 Hmm. 1205 01:18:00,754 --> 01:18:03,871 [ Pouring Liquid ] 1206 01:18:07,914 --> 01:18:11,224 - Ahhh ! - [ Laughter ] 1207 01:18:11,274 --> 01:18:13,151 Mrs. Cole... 1208 01:18:25,794 --> 01:18:27,785 a goose. 1209 01:18:27,874 --> 01:18:30,308 [ Laughter ] 1210 01:18:30,354 --> 01:18:32,231 lncluding-- 1211 01:18:32,274 --> 01:18:34,151 Prenuptial agreements. 1212 01:18:34,194 --> 01:18:37,391 Prenuptial agreements 1213 01:18:39,514 --> 01:18:42,506 [ Laughter, Applause ] 1214 01:18:42,594 --> 01:18:45,028 No ! l'd have got him ten. 1215 01:18:45,074 --> 01:18:47,269 [ Greta ] Good-bye, Mr. Reede. 1216 01:18:47,314 --> 01:18:49,703 No ! Wait ! l didn't know she had-- 1217 01:18:49,794 --> 01:18:52,786 [ Muttering, Gurgling ] 1218 01:18:52,874 --> 01:18:56,105 [ Laughter ] 1219 01:18:59,754 --> 01:19:03,030 [ Making Strange Noises ] 1220 01:19:12,834 --> 01:19:16,429 - Oh, shit. - [ Laughing ] 1221 01:19:16,514 --> 01:19:20,268 Now let's see. "Weight: 105" ? 1222 01:19:20,354 --> 01:19:22,310 Yeah ! ln your bra. 1223 01:19:22,354 --> 01:19:24,549 - Your Honor, l object ! - You would ! 1224 01:19:24,594 --> 01:19:26,630 - Overactor ! - Jezebel ! 1225 01:19:26,674 --> 01:19:29,268 [ Laughing ] 1226 01:19:29,354 --> 01:19:31,424 [ Applause ] 1227 01:19:31,474 --> 01:19:35,547 He put me up to it. [ lndistinct ] 1228 01:19:35,594 --> 01:19:39,428 Yeah, sure he did. [ Laughing ] 1229 01:19:39,474 --> 01:19:42,386 Oh, no. They're onto me. 1230 01:19:42,474 --> 01:19:44,430 [ All Laughing ]