I'm a different guy in many ways.
I don't steal ladies' purses anymore.
But a man purse? Now that's a crime.
Hey!
Jimmy? Jimmy!
Denny? Ha! Ha!
- Gotcha! - Funny.
How's it going, bro? Bro-in-law.
Well, not anymore. You remember Vanessa?
Yeah!
- No. - Jimmy's an old friend.
- Sandy's brother. - Who?
That's nice.
He's coming to the engagement party?
- Uh... - No. Yeah, you shouldn't
tell me things like that. I'm not very good
with keeping secrets. That's how I got reduced prison time.
You should come. It'll be fun. Tonight, Lindum Hotel.
Oh. La la la la la!
Aren't you supposed to get divorced before you get married?
Sandy's gonna get the divorce papers today.
You're married?
I gotta go.
- Oh! - Aw. It's so good to see you.
This guy broke my sister's heart.
The least I can do is get a little payback.
- Synced and corrected by killianp77 - - www.Addic7ed.com -
Good morning.
What?
I know when you're hiding something. What is it?
You're crazy.
Everyone knows when you have a secret.
First it's the eyes,
then it's the...
There it is.
The geisha giggle.
Are you Sandra Karinsky?
Who's asking, and is he single?
Uh, no, she's not.
Um, can I see you over here, Mrs. Butterworth?
- I ran into Denny today. - What?
He's serving you with divorce papers.
This man is a process server? He's come to serve me
- my divorce papers? - That was a lot of... really close up.
Are you Sandra Karinsky?
She not here.
Then who are you?
I'm Jenna Engel. I'm a very successful young lawyer.
If you'd like to leave a message for Sandy... ra, we'd be happy to tell her.
- I don't believe you're a lawyer. - Because I'm so hot?
I get it.
Would you like to see my diploma or any of my gavels?
- Sure. - All right then.
- She's not Sandy. - You're lying.
Very nice.
That man is trying to serve me
with my divorce papers, and I can get...
Out, just... ugh!
Ok, now I'm having a gynecological exam by the window sill.
Not exactly law office appropriate.
Sandra Karinsky.
You've been served.
- Have a nice day. - You know what? She will.
Thanks. This is the first day of the rest of her life.
That's great.
Yes, absolutely. I'll see you then.
Wow. Great news.
Wonderful.
It's the warmth that means so much.
I'm sorry, honey. Mommy's a little distracted.
Tell me, Jenna, what news have you?
Well, Shakespeare, Sam Alquist,
the game designer and tech genius,
wants me to represent him.
Oh, is that any relation to bar belquist, my friend from hot yoga?
If that's what makes the story stick, then yes.
Anyway, I have to get back to the office.
I just came by because I couldn't find my laptop,
and Sandy said you had it.
So, your laptop...
Um, I was trying to clean it up because the files
were really disorganized, and I was surfing the net.
And, um, I may have clicked on something that I shouldn't have.
May have?
Did. Did have.
Yes. Oh, yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes.
Ok, I think your computer may have picked up a virus.
It's frozen. What did you click on?
Yes. Oh, yes, yes.
Sean Connery naked? Full frontal?
Well, do you blame me? I can't even see a picture.
Do you know how disappointed I am?
And now it's stuck. I need my computer!
This is a big client. I know. I'm gonna fix it.
- Thank you. - Maybe if I keep clicking, I can fix it.
And find Sean Connery.
I made you some tea. You like tea.
Tea's good. Who doesn't love tea?
- That's so sweet of you. - Jimmy.
- Why are you giving her tea? - Because it's the nice thing to do?
I'm gonna repeat the question. Why are you giving her tea?
- Is there something you're not telling me? - No.
Liar.
Ok, I told Sandy I ran into Denny.
Here's what she doesn't know: He's getting married again.
They're having their engagement party at the Lindum Hotel tonight.
She cannot...! She cannot know that.
You know what will happen if she knows that.
When Denny left her, do you remember the fetal positions?
Remember the benders? Remember the cult?
Just keep it to yourself.
Get it together.
Forget that you have a secret.
Just go into deep denial!
- Ok. I'm gonna be fine. - Yes.
- Denial. - Yeah.
- Jimmy? - When you saw Denny, was he with anyone?
Who cares, right, Sandy? I mean,
- good riddance to that guy. - And his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna take a few... deep, cleansing breaths.
Do we even have a cat?
Excuse me.
Excuse me?
Geniuses of the McCavery Technical College? Attention.
This might be a little risqué, but I, uh,
have the naked Sean Connery virus.
On my computer.
So, who wants to help?
Fifty bucks?
I have two single daughters.
Ah.
I'm here for Jenna and I'm mad early.
Hey, I'm Jenna. Sam.
Oh, dude, right. I remember you from Charisse's.
They told me you quit, and I was like, "what? She is outrageous."
Right up high. Here.
But you always have been, right? Am I right?
Totally.
Sam, I am so honored that you chose to do the pitch for the hedge fund with me.
- Dude! - Dude.
You are an even bigger animal than I am.
Arf! Arf! Ok.
Huh. That I like.
You kill me, you're a monster.
- Screw Charisse. - Yeah, Charisse is...
Ugh, lazy, negative.
You are the real deal. So, here's what I'm here for.
I want to sell off my companies,
all right? And I want you to handle it.
It's... it's gonna mean a lot of money for both of us.
That is great! I'm your girl.
Hey...
Oh. This is my paralegal.
Can you just hang on for one second?
- Make yourself comfortable. - Yeah, yeah. Hey, do you
- remember the time you flashed the delivery guy? - Fully!
Actually, no, not really.
That's because you were crazy drunk.
Like the Christmas party, where you were dancing
around naked in nothing but the post-its.
That was...
Totally not me.
He thinks I'm someone else. Terrific.
Mom? I need my...
Uh-uh. Hold on for a sec, sweetheart.
See, Ahmed, see, I don't know what's happening.
Please stop clicking. Stop, Ma'am.
- Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes. - Stop. Stop. Stop.
Jenna, good news.
I'm with Ahmed from the Technical College.
He's the boss of the geeks. He got your computer running.
Ok, bring back the laptop, or just email me the files that are on it.
- Ok, Ahmed, could you please... - The files are gone.
Jenna, Ahmed said that he lost the files because of the thing you clicked on.
- I didn't click on anything! - I did not lose the files.
Ok, see? Can you believe that? I thought that you would
appreciate me fixing your computer.
Well, you didn't, so I don't.
Ahmed, keep trying.
He thinks I'm Party Patty from the office.
But I have to tell him.
I might lose a big client.
Ugh, so what? I have my integrity.
Whew...
Ok. Here we go.
So, I'm coming up with a fee here.
Boom. No.
I'm adding a zero.
Oh, my...
Boom.
Do you remember the other party...
Where I stuck my face in the punch bowl and I drank
for 45 seconds, and then I knocked over the table and danced on the bar?
- Genius! - Epic!
Ok! Could you just give me one more sec?
Whoa.
Hey, Sandy.
You ok?
Point taken.
I now know why Sam hired me.
He hired me because he thinks I'm someone else.
- Someone hotter? - What? No. You're an idiot.
He thinks I'm this other girl from the office, party Patty.
Do you have any idea
who she is? She is a train wreck
wrapped in a car crash, covered in a hot mess.
But, man, is she fun. That's definitely not you.
The thing is, I just made it worse.
I just pretended to be her so I can keep him as a client.
All right! No, that's what I would have done too.
Oh, great, I'm you. I feel so morally complete.
All right, well, Sandy's good.
She's swiffering, so I'm gonna take off.
Jimmy, she's swiffering herself. You stay here and you babysit her.
- You keep her happy. - What's the alcohol content
of window cleaner?
And that, Marvin, is how you lose your virginity.
Now, Kalinda, you're gonna have to give up that fanny pack full of ferrets.
And Sathyan, un-tuck your pants from your socks,
and you will be a stud.
Thanks, Ceil. You're so helpful.
Aw, well, thank you all for appreciating me.
Which of your daughters can I date?
I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one.
But, Ahmed, you've been a lifesaver.
Geek power!
Ok, what is happening?
We are recreating a photo,
'cause Sandy thinks it'll be fun.
And... it'll distract her
from that other thing we're not supposed to talk about.
Remember that play we wrote when we were kids when the power
was out and we were snowed in and we were chock-full of Oreos?
You mean Man of Green Gables?
Yay! Bride of Frankenstein.
This picture reminds me of the days when I still believed in love,
in a world before Dennis cheated on me.
Before I started washing down horse tranquilizers with Sambuca.
So, you want to restage Man of Green Gables. Ok.
Great idea. I'm in. Hey,
you know what, Sandy? I could really use your help.
Sam thinks that I'm party Patty from my old office.
Oh, she was fun.
But now I have to go to this meeting and act like
someone who's crazy, fun, and... how do I do that?
Say something wild.
Uh... who wants some shooters?
Stand aside.
Who wants some shooters?!
- I could use a shooter. - But seriously, let's do some shooters.
- Jenna, you're gonna love me. - Oh.
I made friends with a bunch of geek geniuses.
- We fixed your computer. - Oh, wow, that is great news.
I'm gonna pull Sam's files off this.
What's going on?
We're recreating a photo. It's gonna be really fun.
We're doing it to cheer Sandy up, because
Dennis served her with divorce papers today.
Aw.
Let's get this party started!
- Meeting time. Sam, I - thought we were meeting
- at your office. - What? Where? When? Nah, you're funny.
We're gonna do it here. The guys are already on their way.
Great.
Do we have to do this photo right exactly now?
Oh, my God. Does anyone else want to abandon me?
Ok, we'll do it, we'll do it. Just set it up over there.
Just stay over there.
So, if you turn to page 14 of the document
in front of you, you will be...
Blown away by these profit margins.
No! "No," you'll say.
"I can't believe it,
this much yield."
- Would you excuse me for a minute? - Yeah.
- What do you think? - Mm, good.
- Hi, Jenna. - Ok.
This was not a good idea.
What did you say?
As you were.
I wonder what Dennis and his new girlfriend are doing right now.
- Now what are you hiding? - What? Nothing.
Why are you looking at me?
Vanessa's not Dennis' girlfriend; she's his fiancée.
They're engaged.
That's why he wants you to sign the divorce papers today.
Jimmy... bad!
Sandy,
you cannot care about that.
You're right.
The old me would show up at their engagement party,
make an outrageous speech, and sit in the cake.
Wait, you know about that?
Know what?
- What?! - Jimmy.
- Mom, I can't keep it in! - Stuff it down with food!
Whatever it is, I'm fine.
Vanessa and Dennis are having their engagement party
at the Lindum Hotel tonight!
Batten down the hatches.
Sandy.
Sandy?
Are you ok?
Surprisingly, yes, I am.
Well, good for you, sweetheart. You know you're better off
without him. Ok!
We're gonna go one...
Two...
Three.
You really are better off, Sandy.
Where did she go?
The Bride of Frankenstein
Is it because this is black and white?
Is it because you put colors all over everything?
Tim, you look at me like I'm not speaking English.
Sam, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah.
I have to tell you the truth.
I'm not who you think I am.
Oh, sure you are. You're an animal.
Uh, I'm not an animal.
That's Party Patty that you're thinking of.
She's the one who deflowered the fax machine, not me.
Oh, right, 'cause she had the...
So... who are you, then?
I'm... the serious one.
I'm the hardworking one.
I'm not any of the things that you thought I was.
And now I have to go.
My sister is dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein
and is on her way to wreak havoc at an engagement party.
I really wish that was code for something,
but... it's not.
Excuse me.
Jenna, you are such a good sport,
wearing your Man of Green Gables costume.
Oh, Sandy's gonna love it. I hope we're not too late.
Mom, I drove as fast as I could. I ran a red back there.
What's the plan when we find her?
We'll figure it out. Let's just keep our cool.
Please, Jenna. Of course we'll keep our cool.
Sandy!
- Paging Sandy Karinsky! - Here!
There it is. Try in there. I'm sure of it.
Mazel tov.
What the hell? Get out!
Not the outfit to wear to a bris, apparently.
- Sandy! - Sandy!
What, you've never seen a frontier prostitute
and a cave baby before?
- Hey. - All right, that one's weird.
Hey.
You ok?
Yeah. I'm ok.
I just... feel like...
A nice egg sandwich?
- No. - A soda?
- No. - A date square?
Woman, please.
A failure.
I always dreamed I would get married,
and when I met Denny, I thought, "this is it."
And it wasn't just stupid.
It was real.
I loved him, Jenna, and...
I tried to make it work, even when it didn't.
Isn't that ridiculous?
It's cool.
- You want me to punch him? - Sandy,
you feel like a screw-up and you feel like a failure,
and, sure, you joined a cult and you ended up
on the national news, and, yes,
you've popped a lot of pills... ok, I'm gonna stop
with the list. The point is,
you're good and you're kind.
Now, you sign those papers.
It's time to move on to a better man.
Ok. Turn around.
- Yes. - Ok.
I got this.
No, I got this
Hey! Jerk face! Listen up!
They did it.
I think they did.
Done.
We sat on the cake.
Let's go take that family picture.
- Why wait? - Lemon.
Booyah, lady baby girl, they loved you!
Really? But I'm not Party Patty.
Aw, come on, you're awesome. I mean, sure, you could
do with a bit of loosening up, but that lame uptight thing
that you do do is hilarious!
- Thank you? - All right, my office mañana?
Yes! Wait, mañana means tomorrow, and last time
your office meant my office.
Hey, Jenna. I've done a system restore
and installed a firewall so this won't happen again.
Thank you, Ahmed. I really appreciate that.
Your mother promised me a date with her daughter.
Right. That is a new crazy, even for her.
I am sorry, Ahmed, but
I don't go on dates with people in exchange for goods and services.
- I'm sorry to let you down, but... - Hi!
I am clearly not the one you're interested in.
He's taking me to the arcade. I think that's that hot new restaurant downtown.
Or maybe it's just an arcade.
Have fun, you two.
Yes. Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, crap.
Looks like it's just you and me, Sean.
Would you care to tickle me under my kilt?
- Synced and corrected by killianp77 - - www.Addic7ed.com -