1 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,510 I've been writing a blog about how much you suck. 2 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,271 What's it called? 3 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,263 "Why You Suck dot net." 4 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,390 - It's a clear title. - Are you gonna read it? 5 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:06,590 - Nope. - Our friends think it's hilarious. 6 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,625 If you don't read it, I won't just email it with a password to people we know. 7 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,624 - I'll make it public. - Go nuts, Jules. 8 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,063 Stuff it up your blog. 9 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,466 Love dies. All of it. 10 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,581 Which is why you should never give your cats names 11 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,550 like Snow and Balls. 12 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,663 Because when she leaves... 13 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,063 you'll get Balls. 14 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,383 No one was more surprised than me. 15 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,581 Believe me. 16 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,061 "Why You Suck" has become the template for people 17 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,429 asking themselves: is their partner wrong for them? 18 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,429 Tell me about the moment you realized 19 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,582 that your husband was that for you. 20 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,147 Well, I sold real estate, 21 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,463 so that he could write, and I hated it. 22 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,146 But, you know, I believed in him. 23 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:23,146 And every day I would climb to the top of this mountain 24 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,029 to watch the sunset. 25 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,706 And then, one day, when I was standing up there 26 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,340 I realized that I had never done it with him. 27 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,343 He was afraid of heights. 28 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,670 And it was my favorite thing, 29 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,387 and we'd never once shared it. 30 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,742 Hmm. Heartbreaking. 31 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,302 - Clarity. - What does Leo think of all of this? 32 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,151 - Oh, he's still never read it. - Do you really believe that? 33 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,388 - Believe it. - Yes! 34 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,022 He has this amazing ability to just ignore criticism... 35 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,985 which, you know, I admired at first. 36 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,660 And then I came to see it as his worst trait. 37 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,109 What does make him angry? He was the writer. 38 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,341 I have news, Jules, 39 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,662 writing a blog does not make you a writer. 40 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,387 - Speaking of, you have some news. - Yes, I do. 41 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,861 Uh, next month Random House 42 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,500 is releasing "Why You Suck," the book. 43 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,907 Congratulations. 44 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,146 That's amazing. 45 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,541 - I know. It's incredible. - Did you ever expect? 46 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,226 No. Never in my wildest dreams. 47 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,464 Dad wanted us to come over. We're supposed to say, 48 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,543 because "We think you're cool, like an uncle." 49 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,703 But we won't lie to you, and tell you: "Don't watch Julie 50 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,386 on TV and want to kill yourself again." 51 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,542 I never wanted to kill myself. 52 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,302 Hey, there's a wedding! 53 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,986 Wow! They look rich. 54 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,271 We could make fun of their need to display that. 55 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,824 Ravi and Pia are gifted, 56 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,988 which sounds cool, but really, 57 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,586 you don't want kids to be too clever. 58 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,861 - A grown man in pajamas? - I know! It's embarrassing. 59 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,860 - Hey, I could teach you to throw. - Like you know! 60 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,951 You throw like a g... 61 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,187 No, mine! 62 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,462 - Gimme, gimme! - Get off! 63 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,110 - He said I throw like a girl! - Well, you are a girl. 64 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,183 Here's how you throw a football! 65 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,946 For Ravi, that punt fixed in his mind 66 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,666 an ideal of the woman he wanted to marry one day. 67 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,391 Pia, a firm believer in role models, 68 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,429 saw the woman she wanted to become. 69 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,230 And me, I just knew... 70 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,431 All right! You guys gotta go home now. 71 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,468 Leo's other worst trait was unrealistic dreams. 72 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,390 Things that would just... 73 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,264 take hold of him all of a sudden. 74 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,429 Absurd things. Impossible things. 75 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,151 Things that everyone... 76 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,829 Colette, Danny... 77 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,350 you have given and pledged your promises to each other 78 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,743 and have declared your everlasting love by exchanging the rings. 79 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,471 - Who you rooting for? Bride or groom? - Groom. 80 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,867 I volunteer at his camp for kids. 81 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,279 I also managed his fan-mail when he skied at the Olympics. 82 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,189 Hmm. 83 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,628 I now pronounce you man and wife. 84 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,942 - Shove over. - You may kiss the bride. 85 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:11,024 - It's like a fairy tale! - Oh, for Christ's sake. 86 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,982 What the hell is she thinking?! 87 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,909 I thought she was knocked up when she told me 88 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,181 they were getting married. 89 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,866 It's just so fast! Four months? 90 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,346 It's a rebellion. 91 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,064 Other kids dream of bucking the stranglehold 92 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,421 of middle-class convention. But Colette? 93 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,310 Ah, some little part of her always wanted in. 94 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,230 She got in, all right. 95 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,703 As his boss, I can tell you that Danny 96 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,943 is a terrific attorney. 97 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,667 But as his dad, as his father, 98 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,465 I can tell you how proud I am of Camp Awesome Times... 99 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,105 the camp he founded for underprivileged kids... 100 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,224 Get to the part where he meets the girl! That's what they came for. 101 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:25,790 Ha. No, thanks. Don't smoke. Get paranoid. 102 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,991 Lovely, isn't she? 103 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,791 What makes you think that this, and this... 104 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,790 isn't what she really wants? 105 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:35,586 The roses. 106 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,471 She hates roses. Hates flowers, period. 107 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,906 Except sunflowers. 108 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,667 If I'd seen sunflowers when I came here, maybe I'd believe this. 109 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,268 - So why's she doing it? - Issues with her mother. 110 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,590 Her dad was this handsome war journalist. 111 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,147 Also her mom's professor. Also a complete shit. 112 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,144 When Colette was 10, 113 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,064 her mom stole the money he was hiding from the government 114 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,461 and took her to live in a hotel in London. 115 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,231 They biked in Hyde Park, went to the theater... 116 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,350 Not that she remembers those times. 117 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,221 What does she remember? 118 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,583 Sneaking out of the hotel in the middle of the night when the cash ran out. 119 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,821 Ah, she'll never forgive me. 120 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,424 For those of you who don't know me, my name is Troy Cooper. 121 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,264 This is Troy Garnet. 122 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,267 Troy! 123 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,862 We've been best friends with Danny since junior nationals. 124 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,864 Danny and I made the Olympic team, Garnet didn't. 125 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,502 But, you know, while we got to ski all over the world, 126 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,908 you got to hang out in your parents' basement and smoke hash. 127 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,869 Um, what I wanted to get to, 128 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,183 what I wanted to say to you, Colette: 129 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,342 you are so lucky to be with a man like Danny. 130 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,342 Danny, I love you. 131 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,021 Hi. 132 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,581 Your mom thinks you rushed into this. 133 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,788 Mothers. 134 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,511 - They're so often right. - Not mine. 135 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,229 I'm sorry, who are you? 136 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,503 - Leo Palamino. - Hi, Leo. 137 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,388 Do you want to get a coffee sometime? 138 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,305 Or a drink? 139 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,827 Dance? Charcuterie plate? 140 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,308 Everyone's big into those these days. 141 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,463 This is my wedding. 142 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,704 We all have baggage. 143 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,426 Sorry. 144 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,262 I got cornered by some guys I haven't seen since Dartmouth. 145 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,782 Hey! 146 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,665 Glad you could make it. 147 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,300 Obviously the guest list is a little lopsided. 148 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,623 - I blame this lone wolf. - He's not your friend? 149 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,945 Never seen him before in my life. 150 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,340 Not true. 151 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,947 Last year you chased me up 17th. I lost you in the alley. 152 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,629 You're the guy. You keyed my car! 153 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,989 - Your Hummer. Yes. - You had a Hummer? 154 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:40,991 Just for a few months. 155 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,381 You have to be kind of a dick to drive a Hummer. 156 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,386 And you should not be with a dick. 157 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,351 You should be with me. 158 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,302 This is a joke, right? 159 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,027 No. 160 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,146 - God! - Holy shit, that hurt! 161 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,864 That guy just hit on my wife! 162 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,709 Garnet, Cooper, stop him! 163 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,990 Get that guy! 164 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,467 Whoa. Whoa, whoa. 165 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,071 Ah! The Troys. 166 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,986 I think I'm gonna kick him. Really wail on him, if that's cool. 167 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,031 Dude, I'm a lawyer. I don't think we should kick him. 168 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,871 Danny, come on! We have the moral high ground here. 169 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,182 I feel like you guys just need to make a decision. 170 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,191 Wait, people have pointed this guy out to me. 171 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,066 Wasn't your wife the real estate chick who wrote the blog? 172 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,625 Ex. 173 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:48,263 - Didn't she get a book deal, too? - Bro, that's gotta hurt. 174 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,999 Nothing like he's gonna hurt when I pulverize him. Piece of shit! 175 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,148 Cooper, stop! 176 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,183 He's been kicked enough. 177 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,303 Just get off our property. 178 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,149 I know you miss Snow. 179 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,421 But you gotta get yourself together. 180 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,746 And Balls? 181 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,749 For the first time, 182 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,430 I know it's possible. 183 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,664 Huh. 184 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,589 That guy's wife wrote the blog. 185 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,789 I know. Can you believe he kept doing this dead-end job? 186 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,509 Julie's blog meant there were no shortage 187 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,624 of strongly-felt opinions about my choices. 188 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,105 Usually, I tell them off. 189 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,269 At least for their lame attempt at hushed tones. 190 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,702 But... not today. 191 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,511 'Morning, kitchen. 192 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,431 'Morning, Leo. 193 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,191 Is this some weird calm before the storm... 194 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,944 before you really freak out? 195 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,547 - Julie's book deal. - No. Not gonna freak out. 196 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,946 You wanna know why? 197 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,546 I met someone. 198 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,061 That's fantastic! Where? 199 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,791 - A wedding. - Whose? 200 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,430 Hers. 201 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,666 Don't you have a school to be ridiculed at? 202 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,307 Granted, there are obstacles. But... 203 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,151 it's time for a new theme. 204 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,262 I saw him again today. 205 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,585 My bear. 206 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,826 The product of a rare recessive gene. 207 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,944 Two thousand miles from their only habitat. 208 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,030 Beautiful things that seem impossible 209 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,148 happen every day. 210 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,226 Heads up! 211 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,545 Good to have you back, man! 212 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,187 Julie never understood why I don't hate my job. 213 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,186 Dish washing gives results that are immediate. 214 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,743 Lacking in longer-term pursuits, 215 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,590 like writing a novel, 216 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,710 or pursuing a woman. 217 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,463 Oh, my God! 218 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,620 Oh, sweetheart, thank you. 219 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,790 I know I said it didn't matter, 220 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,425 and it mattered so much to your mom, 221 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,510 but I did kind of hate the roses. 222 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,871 - These aren't from me. - What? 223 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,341 "I hate it when we are apart. 224 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,150 Leo Palamino." 225 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,551 Is he out of his fucking mind!? 226 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,381 You are... 227 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,787 out of your fucking mind! 228 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,506 I love that she doesn't like roses. 229 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,864 They're the attorneys of the flower world, don't you think? 230 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:42,902 Hey. 231 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,507 Neil's irritable because I won't let him see my paintings for my new show. 232 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,879 No, babe, I'm irritable because my best friend's an idiot, 233 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,823 and I just put sunglasses on a marmot. 234 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,423 Neil's Big Horn Books published my book. 235 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,151 The, uh, colossal failure of which meant 236 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,069 he had to make money fast. 237 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,511 And so was born the Big Horn Honker, 238 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,460 a mix of local news, and heartwarming wildlife trivia. 239 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,307 But mostly a way for local bars to advertise drink specials. 240 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,582 - Show him, Neil. - No, Jill. Don't encourage it. 241 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,101 You think he's not gonna find her? 242 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,267 Okay. 243 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,990 Here you go. She runs that weird tour company. 244 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,346 I've heard these are actually cool. 245 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,344 Oh! Well, it actually doesn't matter, 'cause she's actually married. 246 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,631 Married-married. So, you know, it hasn't worn off yet. 247 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,789 Leo, punch that man in the throat. I think he ate my husband. 248 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,305 Dude. 249 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,584 Thanks to a congenital defect, she has three of those. 250 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,388 Jill and Neil are obsessed with taking disgusting, 251 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,384 way too intimate pictures of each other with their phones. 252 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,225 Hey, man, lock up. I have to violate my wife. 253 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,630 - Where are you gonna go? In here? - Hmm? No. 254 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,021 To be their friend is to be party to a lot of 255 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,399 alarming foreplay for sex you'll never have. 256 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,268 They make me believe in love. 257 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,267 Your wife wrote that blog, right? 258 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,105 There were benefits to my notoriety. 259 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,467 You're a major pop culture reference. 260 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,986 My friends back home won't believe I met you. 261 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,981 A notoriety aided by dollar-a-shot Wednesdays. 262 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,145 Of which I am king. 263 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,620 My... 264 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,386 My friend won't believe I met you. 265 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,861 Mm-hmm. Your friend back home? 266 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,668 No. My friend over there. 267 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,629 You're aces at that, mate. 268 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,828 Okay. Gotta pee. 269 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,506 I get wicked bladder infections. 270 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,824 Yes, there are worse ways 271 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,506 to mourn the loss of a relationship. 272 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,062 But sex with strangers, 273 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,507 even leggy, weirdly vocal ones 274 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,384 with a blasé attitude, 275 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,788 is an alienating excuse for love. 276 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,863 Especially when you know it's possible again. 277 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:43,666 Where are we? 278 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,909 I told Mom and Dad we'd pick up their wedding gift today. 279 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,865 Hey! 280 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,500 I missed you guys! Yeah, come here. 281 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,781 Oh, mwah. 282 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,026 Good to see you. 283 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,864 Why are the dogs here? 284 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,182 Who lives here? 285 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,306 Us. 286 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,990 Your parents bought us a house. 287 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,869 They had a designer furnish it. 288 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,943 Of course, anything you don't like will go. 289 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,022 It's not that. It's all beautiful. 290 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:18,588 - We just can't take it. - Why? 291 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,505 Well, I didn't... 292 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,665 We didn't earn it. 293 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,063 Oh, my God. I forgot. 294 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,741 We live in a black-and-white world 295 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,703 where things are very simple. 296 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,301 Shut up. I'm serious. 297 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,145 I am too. 298 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,919 And in this simple world, if we didn't earn something 299 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:44,070 by the sweat of our brow, we just... we can't possibly enjoy it. 300 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,145 Though we both know the world is not simple like that. 301 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:51,991 You know, 302 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,505 it was a mistake. 303 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,510 We can give it all back. 304 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,307 - You brought these here? - Yeah. 305 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,623 I figured if your mom sends you them, they're important. 306 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,347 Even if you are mad at her right now. 307 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,700 You're amazing. You know that? 308 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,669 Leo Palamino! 309 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,503 - Yes. - Last time I saw you, you were downtown. 310 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,631 - Ah, yeah. - Between my legs. 311 00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,663 - Yeah. - Shucking my oyster. 312 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,671 You know, I like to keep the disturbing euphemisms to the heat of the moment. 313 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,824 Kinda old-fashioned that way. 314 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,666 Yeah. Got it, mate. 315 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,710 But if there was a licensing board for muff-diving... 316 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,822 Could I get a ticket? 317 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,907 Good afternoon everyone. 318 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,784 Hi. 319 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,389 And welcome to the tour. 320 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,190 Let's get started! 321 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,749 Word is, to get zoning approval for this abomination, 322 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,227 the company slipped 600 grand 323 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,111 to Councilman Ryan Debrugan last Christmas Eve. 324 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,471 - Who is that? - Councilman Debrugan. 325 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,545 Nice. 326 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,188 Hear it? 327 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,870 That river has been flowing 328 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,744 over a million years. 329 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,870 It's my favorite natural wonder here, even if you have to 330 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,428 lie in a parking lot to hear it. 331 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,427 Just imagine... 332 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,309 a river... 333 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,104 in total darkness. 334 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,230 Now, before I tell you about the bodies found 335 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,944 under the floor when the hermit died, 336 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,507 any questions? 337 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,750 I'm kidding! He was just a normal hermit. 338 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,824 Built model trains, talked to the animals. 339 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,029 He died holding a picture of a girl he loved in his youth. 340 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,502 Uh, but seriously, any questions? 341 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,300 He's got a question. 342 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:02,906 That's weird. I didn't notice him. 343 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,226 What gave you the idea for the tours? 344 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:12,186 I... I moved a lot growing up. 345 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,824 The first thing we'd do in a new place was go to a local bar 346 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,664 and get the lowdown. 347 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,342 You don't learn about a place from the brochures. 348 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,343 Life is messy. 349 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,582 And that's its beauty. 350 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,510 He doesn't deserve you. 351 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,661 You know nothing about Danny. Or me. 352 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,504 I know guys like him, you know? 353 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,662 So, he's lucky, 354 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,822 so comfy in his own skin. 355 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,942 And he has really good taste. 356 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,707 I mean, who wouldn't with all that fancy, worldly experience? 357 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,710 I mean, this guy, he doesn't just want a hot wife, 358 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,181 he wants a hot, interesting wife. 359 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,342 So this is what he does: 360 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,231 he ditches his Hummer to impress you. 361 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,627 You are incredibly judgmental. 362 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,439 Ah, sometimes you just know about a person. 363 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,462 You don't know this: 364 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,839 that punt that made you notice me because you're so sexist 365 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,669 you think it's wild a girl can do that, 366 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,910 Danny, the love of my life, taught me that. 367 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,551 Touché. 368 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,301 Shall we? 369 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,947 You know, it is kind of sexist, you thinking her kicking a football is cool. 370 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,108 - It is cool. - Whoo-hoo! 371 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,540 My wife flies. 372 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,507 That's cool. 373 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,506 Also she made my ball sack a Twitter account. 374 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,863 - Ah, I hate when she dips like that. - Leo, you're afraid of heights, 375 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,784 not of other people being up high. 376 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,428 Hey, did I tell you? Colette's husband is a friend of Garnet's 377 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,463 whose gallery is showing Jill's paintings. 378 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,265 - The ones she won't show you? - Yeah. And I don't get it, you know? 379 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,759 She always shows me her work first, 380 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,740 Not that Garnet's a bad guy, 381 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,942 if you're into rich guys with chiseled good looks who work out. 382 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,028 "Hi, I'm Neil's ball sack." 383 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,546 Oh! 384 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,385 That's just wrong, man. 385 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,144 I don't want your balls on my phone. 386 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,279 If they say wise or hilarious things you do. 387 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,747 "It's dark in here and Neil's jeans stink." 388 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:24,706 He's harmless. 389 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:25,981 Just annoying. 390 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,627 I've dealt with my share of nuts on the tour. 391 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,101 I just told Kingsley not to sell him any more tickets. 392 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,349 Good. I had Cooper look into him. 393 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,824 He's a failed writer. 394 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,785 He rents a house from a company I do legal for. 395 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,740 To retaliate would be like, um, punching a puppy. 396 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,270 You, Danny Hart, have a good one. You know that? 397 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,945 You ever think of doing anything other than the tour? 398 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,351 - What? - Like you said, you... you know, 399 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,106 you're exposed, to anyone. 400 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,468 You know, now that we're settled you can do anything you want, 401 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,025 you could even go back to school. 402 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,828 But I love what I do. I hated school. 403 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,479 I just want you to know you have options, that's all. 404 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,584 Well, so do you. You don't have to be a lawyer. 405 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,306 Point taken. 406 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,145 Why'd you hate school? 407 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:25,871 Schools. 408 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,905 I'd always just get settled, and then we'd move. 409 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,143 My entire childhood was like being on the... 410 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,423 outside of an inside joke. 411 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,024 Well, if you would have come to my school, 412 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,751 I would have invited you to the cool kids' table. 413 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,181 What? 414 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,269 I love that you brought these here. 415 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,591 But I've been drinking from these stupid mismatched cups 416 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,159 my entire life. 417 00:30:56,160 --> 00:31:01,266 And you have no idea the thrill these give me. 418 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,383 She's moving from an Airstream in the woods! 419 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:40,906 One more reason she's 420 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,142 way too interesting to be with that... 421 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,308 Lawyer-Olympian-camp for kids founder? 422 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,981 What are you doing? 423 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,307 Pretending to deliver the Honker while I spy on my wife. 424 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,279 Look at him. Giving her thoughts on her work, sharing a laugh. 425 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,986 I give her feedback. Feedback is our thing. 426 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,905 - I'm sure she has her reasons. - Oh, yeah, I'm sure she does. 427 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,991 Look at me. I wanted to publish books. Niche work with integrity. 428 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,747 Instead, I publish something more people urinate on than read. 429 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,265 Aw, shit! 430 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,387 They saw us. Great! 431 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,345 Move your bike. Look, try not to act like the dick 432 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,462 who crashed his best friend's wedding. 433 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,901 - Hi! Hey, babe! - Hey, hon. 434 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:20,748 - Hey, here are your Honkers, man. - Hi. Okay. Okay. Leo. 435 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,787 Jill. 436 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,102 You look different. Not on your back, whimpering. 437 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,786 Oh, half-of-the-Troys, can we start over? 438 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,665 That is a gorgeous scarf. 439 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,507 I've been looking everywhere for a white silk scarf. 440 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,345 - Leo, shut up. - Great work. 441 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,911 - We'll talk soon. - Great. 442 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,305 - Thanks for that, Leo, you child. - Child? Really? 443 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,424 Uh, recent Tweets from your husband's balls. 444 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,341 "I itch. 445 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,221 Neil won't stop touching me. 446 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,266 Anyone have a good recipe for salmon? 447 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,867 I... " 448 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,107 What's that? 449 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,426 My new theme. 450 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,429 It's what I'm in with Colette. 451 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,864 The key? Seemingly chance encounters 452 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,024 where she sees how right we are for each other. 453 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,660 When I met Poojah, she was betrothed 454 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:21,061 to a bricklayer's son cum-Internet millionaire. 455 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,548 - So what did you do? - Challenged him to a duel. 456 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,747 Jesus. You dueled him? 457 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,268 No. I just love how you believe any crazy shit I say about India. 458 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,104 No, what you need to do 459 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,991 is show her something you can do. 460 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,310 Something great, that, uh, no one else can. 461 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,909 - What would that be? - Heads up. 462 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,582 We've got some new ideas for the tour. 463 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,222 Uh, that woman wrote in again about her racy doll collection 464 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,424 and another guy sent in a picture of his penis, 465 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,062 - with times it'll be available for viewing. - That was nice of him. 466 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,866 But this one's actually interesting. 467 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,749 "To whom it may concern, 468 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,029 I am writing to inform you of a unique and wonderful colleague 469 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:20,111 of mine who would make a great attraction on your tour." 470 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,466 For sure. It's the Mary Jane. 471 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,941 I'm coming. I'm coming! 472 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:45,107 - Know where I can get some schlook? - Maybe a white-haired lady? 473 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,467 "The Slang That Kills." Look it. 474 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,429 The pot is for my cat's arthritis. 475 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,551 You're still a part of an underground economy where bad-ass mofos... 476 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,267 - It's slang for dealers. - Threaten, even kill. 477 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,382 Mandeep, your kids were at my house this morning 478 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,865 harassing me about drugs. 479 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,789 - Is that weird? - No, no. 480 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,541 They're doing a unit on drugs in school. They're very into it. 481 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,545 How ya doin', Jess? 482 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,305 - Living the dream, man. - Leo! 483 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,468 - Living the dream. - She's here. 484 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,662 The view from here is good. Look. 485 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,707 Today's theme is 'orbit.' 486 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,062 - What the hell? - Coming through. 487 00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,621 Watch out, watch out. This way, this way, right this way. 488 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,589 Colette! What are you doing here? 489 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,623 Oh, I don't know... 490 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,710 I got this anonymous tip about a dishwasher 491 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,391 "with amazing motor skills and themes." 492 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,703 Themes? It's not standard in a dishwasher. 493 00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,901 Unheard of. 494 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,107 Aren't you curious? 495 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,149 Purely from a business point of view. 496 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,670 A demonstration. 497 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,106 If two objects... or people, 498 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,745 have a similar mass... 499 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,510 uh, metaphorically speaking, 500 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,789 humor, originality, true-of-heartness, 501 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,908 put them in orbit... 502 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,301 and... 503 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,666 they'll spin, 504 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,988 collide, fall... 505 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,143 together. 506 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,310 Useless to resist. 507 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,791 He screams tourist attraction to me. 508 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,431 I got this. 509 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,067 You were charmed. 510 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,186 For a second. 511 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:15,580 I saw it. 512 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:18,222 Is there anywhere you won't make a scene? 513 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,105 If it's important, who cares what a bunch of strangers think? 514 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,864 This stems from what? 515 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,149 A snap judgment based on physical attraction 516 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:27,599 to a married woman you don't know? 517 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,190 But then I researched you. 518 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,543 I followed you, I spied on you, I came to your work... 519 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,261 And that snap judgment totally stands! 520 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:49,981 Wait! Wait, wait, wait! 521 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,706 There's a section about how he played bass guitar, 522 00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,790 uh, but refused to actually learn how. 523 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,345 And we... 524 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,150 can listen to a clip. 525 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,230 Wow! 526 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,384 - Oh my God! That would drive me insane. - Yeah. 527 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,665 Wait. "Horny In Inappropriate Places." That looks funny. 528 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,988 "Places that make my husband horny... 529 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,707 - My nephew's baptism." - Of course. 530 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,343 "The dealership where we refinanced our Toyota. 531 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,425 - My aunt's funeral." - Ew. Sick. 532 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,101 - Yeah, that's totally sick. - That's seriously messed up. 533 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:30,942 Keep going. 534 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,866 "His childish refusal to keep his mouth shut and not make a scene." 535 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,226 Wow. Knopf wanted to publish his book. 536 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:39,586 Really? 537 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,799 "And not only did my husband refuse to make the changes 538 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,425 to his book the largest publisher 539 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,350 in America wanted after a generous advance, 540 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,430 he flew to New York, gave the president of the division 541 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,106 the finger and stormed out. 542 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,588 He published the book locally. Refused to make a single change. 543 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,866 And it died." 544 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,430 Well, I feel for the guy. Not everyone can be Hemingway. 545 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,781 He wasted his life refusing to accept that. 546 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,905 I'll get more wine. 547 00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,065 Showing Colette the blog backfired. 548 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:18,509 - What do you mean? - It did. Trust me. 549 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,464 That's twice now, you little shit! 550 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,831 Sorry, Mr. Scott! 551 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,984 - Totally an accident! - You owe me 50 bucks, bro. 552 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,789 You're a fine role model, Coop. 553 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,430 And golf club manager. 554 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:40,744 My management style's unorthodox. 555 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,150 What's my dad gonna do? 556 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,984 Fire you again? 557 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,310 Anyhow, 558 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:49,626 as I've been saying all along, 559 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,301 what Leo Palamino needs is a shit-kicking. 560 00:40:58,240 --> 00:40:59,466 No, Coop. 561 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,311 I will not concede the moral high ground to this asshole. 562 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,304 We are adults and adults do not shit-kick. 563 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,908 That's exactly it. 564 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:20,866 There it was. 565 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,302 In the very window where I'd fantasized, for years, 566 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,950 about having my book. 567 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,791 One final symbolic kick in the nuts. 568 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,348 Not that I let it bother me. 569 00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,868 That hurt, you little peckers! 570 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,863 You just got popped, old man. 571 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,944 And to teach you a lesson not to chase another man's wife, 572 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,903 we're gonna stomp you, too. 573 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,422 Okay. 574 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,265 Okay. 'Cause I don't fight kids. 575 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,870 Especially nice kids. 576 00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,599 Who are gonna grow up to do amazing things. 577 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,509 Is that sarcasm? 578 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,187 Yeah. 579 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,428 The way you're blindly following this dip-shit, 580 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,271 I see remedial classes and meth mouth. 581 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,745 Snow... 582 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,391 Hey... 583 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,142 What are you doing? 584 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,462 What are you doing here? 585 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,788 I miss you so much. 586 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,423 That is my cat! Get your vagrant hands off her! 587 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:00,581 Hey! 588 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:06,230 I raised that cat. That's my and Julie's cat! 589 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,223 My God, it is you. 590 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,266 You look rough. 591 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,065 Julie gave Snow to me 592 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,262 before she moved to Malibu. 593 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,679 All right, this has to stop! 594 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:30,104 'Cause you just got... you just got whooped by an army of children. 595 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,422 You are so wrong. 596 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,311 When I fought for Poojah, it got messy, 597 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,149 but it was all worth it. 598 00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:38,671 Even... 599 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,504 after she died. 600 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,269 Hey, don't look like that! 601 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,663 It makes me happy to talk about her. 602 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,310 She's still with me. 603 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,350 In Ravi and Pia. 604 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,346 Having her 605 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,861 was worth losing her. 606 00:43:57,720 --> 00:43:59,629 Sometimes you just know. 607 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:01,951 I love you, Mandeep! 608 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,671 I can't believe Julie broke your guitar. 609 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,239 She didn't. It got stolen. 610 00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:14,580 - Nah! - No. 611 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,270 It's on the blog. She broke it, 612 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,428 then put it in a dumpster behind Jamba Juice. 613 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,389 Yeah. 614 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:21,826 I loved that guitar! 615 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,382 She's a horrible woman. 616 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:29,905 But I love you guys. 617 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:30,902 Oh. 618 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,302 - What? - What? What's up? 619 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,911 - Tell him! - No! 620 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,990 Okay! All right, okay. There's a section on the blog 621 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,839 where Julie talks about all the dumb stuff you did when you were drunk. 622 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,221 Like on your honeymoon in Paris, when you pooped yourself. 623 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:46,705 I had heat stroke! 624 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:49,664 But it was mostly just how you get emotional all the time and say I love you. 625 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:50,867 Usually to Neil and I. 626 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,711 So someone started a drinking game. 627 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,399 - How's it work? - It's very simple. They go into a pub. 628 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,548 If you're in the pub, you're drinking, and you say, 629 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,469 "I love you," then they drink. 630 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,347 - Leo, no. Come on. - No, no, no, no, no! 631 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,150 No, no, no, no, no! No. 632 00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,346 You're assholes! You know that? 633 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,066 But I love you. 634 00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,622 It's Julie. Leave a message. 635 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,828 I saw Snow. 636 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,186 I let you take her in case you got lonely out there. 637 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,744 You know, I mistakenly thought you had some... 638 00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:23,264 God! Tiny bit of heart left. 639 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,943 And they were a couple! 640 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,621 And you, 641 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,545 you punished them for our mistakes. 642 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:33,906 And you, uh... 643 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,308 You're just a nasty person. 644 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:03,102 Sean Cooper's telling everyone he and his friends beat up Leo. 645 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,625 Maybe someone needs to convince them he's a badass mofo. 646 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,585 Do you smell curry? 647 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,981 You beat up Leo Palamino. 648 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,861 - You should know who he is. - Yeah? 649 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,830 - Who is he? - Our dealer. 650 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,503 You name it. Baby Bhang. Lumber. Bambalacha. 651 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,825 We blow a stick of moocah with him all the time. 652 00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,823 He has a greenhouse in his house 653 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,022 where he grows it. 654 00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,190 You don't mess with someone whose been booting the gong. 655 00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:42,910 They can overreact. 656 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,751 - He didn't react at all last night. - Spring the giggle, 657 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:49,740 - your reflexes get slow. - But he'll hit you back. Trust me. 658 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,706 I'm gonna blow the roof off a Colorado cocktail before social studies. 659 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:57,669 Spark it up, but don't Bogart it. 660 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,585 What was that? 661 00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,141 Kingsley! 662 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,144 I told you not to sell him any more tickets, Kingsley! 663 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,547 You're my front line of defense against this idiot! 664 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,510 I know. But he got beat up. 665 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,386 Also, I slept with him last year. 666 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:34,871 Sol might be a sort of 667 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,381 compromised front line of defense. 668 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,540 Great at oral. 669 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,227 - Didn't ask. - But you wanted to. 670 00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:46,390 And I'm not talking about a little booty kiss to say "I'm a giver, let's ball." 671 00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,629 Thanks for calling me, Cooper. 672 00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,229 I thought you'd want to see him. 673 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,710 You look rough, pal. 674 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,263 I've never seen anything like it. 675 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,468 - Is he a polar bear? - No. A ghost bear. 676 00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:25,107 A black bear with a rare recessive gene. 677 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,302 They survived only because the Kitasoo Indians 678 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,861 in the Great Bear rainforest, the only place in the world 679 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:32,267 they live, think they're magic. 680 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,945 So they protect them. 681 00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,542 He's a long way from home. 682 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:45,102 That bear... is proof of the impossible. 683 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,303 - A moment? - That's right. 684 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,189 Couched in wildlife trivia 685 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,264 and a rare animal sighting. 686 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,462 You know, I've pitied him long enough. 687 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,391 Finally. Let's have some fun! 688 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,389 What does he have we can take? 689 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,719 Therein lies the problem. 690 00:50:07,720 --> 00:50:08,919 Didn't you say you represent 691 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,909 the management company who owns his house? 692 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:14,706 Yeah, but to evict, you gotta give him 60 days unless he's broken the lease. 693 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:15,867 Hey! 694 00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,182 - Hey, Sean. - Hey, what's up, bro? 695 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,231 You didn't tell me he's a drug dealer, dick! 696 00:50:22,240 --> 00:50:24,661 - What? - These dorks at school told me. 697 00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,309 He even has a greenhouse. 698 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,146 You don't say. 699 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,309 Officer. Prettier of the Troys. 700 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:39,945 Fuck you, dishwasher. 701 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,702 Mr. Palamino, do you have marijuana on the premises? 702 00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,750 Uh, one plant. For my cat's arthritis. 703 00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,105 - Is this a joke to you? - No, it helps him a lot. 704 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,987 - Right, Balls? - Your cat's name is Balls? 705 00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,825 With arthritis, shouldn't that be swollen Balls? 706 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,705 Yeah, joint pain, hilarious. 707 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,102 I don't know what this is, but I don't want to be a part of it. 708 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,071 Just lose the plant. 709 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,461 I probably won't. Just being honest. 710 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,307 And I probably won't give a shit. 711 00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,346 - You sure got me. - Yeah. Actually, I did. 712 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,630 You admitted to an officer of the law to drugs on the premises. 713 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:27,029 That's a violation of your lease. 714 00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,431 Which gives you 24 hours to vacate, asshole. 715 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,184 Have a great day. 716 00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:40,711 You sure there's enough room? 717 00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:44,262 Room? There's lots of room! Pia wants you to have her bed. 718 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:45,905 Stay as long as you like. 719 00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,266 Okay. 720 00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,147 So. Hey, man. 721 00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:07,381 This is just going to be for a couple nights. Okay? 722 00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,511 At least you don't have to worry about getting beat up anymore. 723 00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:15,626 Why's that? 724 00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,580 Because we told them you were a drug dealer. 725 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,510 Thanks, Ravi. 726 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:51,947 During Prohibition, 727 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,109 that river bank was the drop-off for black market whiskey. 728 00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,062 Excuse me. Excuse me. 729 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,790 Why'd you steal the newspaper? 730 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,990 I took pity on you and let you come on the tour. Don't wear it out. 731 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,865 - Your little 'fuck you' to the man? - I forgot to pay. 732 00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,510 Like you do every day? 733 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,503 Change of plans, folks. 734 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,822 Behind me you'll see a set of stairs. 735 00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:25,503 There's a view up there that is well worth the climb. 736 00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,386 - What about him? - He's afraid of heights. 737 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,866 Pathetic, isn't it? 738 00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,584 There's a hilarious chapter about it in a book I'm reading. 739 00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:51,704 "In my early twenties, 740 00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:54,346 I thought Leo's blanket distrust of anyone with authority 741 00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,309 was the mark of an original mind." 742 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,468 Okay. "I thought his strongly held views, 743 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,559 always firmly on the side of the underdog, 744 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,630 were the expression of something pure and true. 745 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,301 Then I came to see that, more often than not, 746 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:07,910 Leo's muddled politics... 747 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,546 were expressed in drunken rants 748 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:12,424 about sport hunters, 749 00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,423 the Christian Right and wars 750 00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:16,759 he knew little to nothing about." 751 00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:20,706 Hey, how 'bout we take a break from the out-loud reading? 752 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,951 Did you really make her have sex at her aunt's funeral? 753 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,625 I did not make her... 754 00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:30,149 Why do you... She didn't even like that aunt. 755 00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,064 You guys don't understand what it's like 756 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,467 to read a person's thoughts, 757 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:43,784 so well-organized in chapters with witty asides... 758 00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,348 as she falls out of love with you. 759 00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:48,826 You know the worst part? 760 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,781 Colette. 761 00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,781 She read it all, too. 762 00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,101 His wife has written the book... 763 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,464 Your hushed tone? 764 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,749 I'd bring it down a few decibels. 765 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,268 And yes, I'm him. 766 00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:20,781 Yes, I make snap judgments. 767 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,780 Yes, I walked from a publishing deal. 768 00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,301 Yes, one very humid day 769 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,224 after way too much sangria, 770 00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:30,621 I shit myself in Paris! 771 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,427 What? 772 00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,063 Hey, man. Heads up! 773 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:22,951 What are you doing? 774 00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:27,184 Same as you. Staring at my daughter's huge house. 775 00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,185 She won't return my calls. 776 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,023 Hey, you know, somewhere in my back seat I think I have 777 00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:36,188 a $300 bottle of scotch. 778 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,865 I told Colette I thought what you did 779 00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:41,664 at the wedding was romantic. 780 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,623 And that's why she's not talking to me. 781 00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:48,950 I'm afraid I've made her fear the romantic, unlikely dreamers. 782 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,546 With your crazy grand gestures. 783 00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,180 A terrible thing in life to avoid completely. 784 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:58,310 - I'm glad you weighed in. - No, I shouldn't have. 785 00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:04,624 Yeah. What you did was obnoxious, selfish, 786 00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:06,623 superficial as hell. 787 00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:08,710 But it took balls. 788 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,541 And I was high at a very dull party. 789 00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,309 What do you have against Danny? 790 00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,861 It's not what I have against him. No. 791 00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,382 My point was, wait. 792 00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,903 You don't know a person's character until the chips are down. 793 00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:25,947 And I'm pretty sure 794 00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,506 the chips have never really been down for Danny. 795 00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,504 And what the hell kind of a name for a camp is 'Awesome Times'? 796 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,430 - Awesome Times. - A little on point, perhaps? 797 00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,466 Well, if I were 20 years younger, 798 00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,987 and not in a committed polyamorous relationship 799 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,389 with some people in Anchorage, I would... I'd fuck ya. 800 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:57,464 That is the nicest thing the mother of anyone I've loved 801 00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,031 has ever said. 802 00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,229 And you're really giving up on my daughter? 803 00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,747 Just because she read a bestseller your ex wrote? 804 00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:14,387 You would understand if someone wrote one 805 00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,066 about everything wrong with you. 806 00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,869 And it was funny. And well-observed. 807 00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,864 My ex-husband, the asshole who broke my heart, 808 00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,301 no, eviscerated my heart, 809 00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:31,231 when he was in the field reporting on some African dictator, 810 00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:35,147 he would focus on proving just one of the dictator's claims wrong. 811 00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,311 Because if you can disprove 812 00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,741 one thing a person in power says, 813 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,990 people will question everything else they say. 814 00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:47,865 Just a thought. 815 00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:58,822 I'm gonna do that. 816 00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:03,142 You have a crippling fear of heights. You can't even watch my wife do it. 817 00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,071 That's the point, my little friend. Transcend that. 818 00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,991 I will blow Julie's book, blog... 819 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,785 It's a multi-platform phenomenon, is what it is. 820 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:14,199 Oh, I'm sorry. 821 00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,462 - That's a publishing term. - I will prove it wrong. 822 00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:19,305 For Colette. And for me. 823 00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:23,430 I just have to condition myself to altitude. 824 00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:37,744 I think this is totally gonna work. 825 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,399 The idea behind hang gliding is simple. 826 01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:08,799 A shift of the center of gravity to one side, that wing drops 827 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:10,390 and a turn that way. 828 01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,184 For the landing, push out. 829 01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,263 That stalls the kite and you're down. 830 01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:01,623 You're just gonna do a quick run. 831 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:03,705 I have to be at the gallery by four. 832 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,982 Garnet's sneaking out of a fundraiser for Danny Hart's camp 833 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,750 to look at a painting I'm stalled on. 834 01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,942 Well! Isn't that nice of him. 835 01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,027 The fundraiser's a big deal, so it is nice of him. 836 01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:14,141 Let's go! I gotta go. 837 01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:15,671 - Let's do this! - Okay. 838 01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,423 - Are you good? Are you good? - Yeah, we're good. 839 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,146 - Easy. - Are we gonna run now? 840 01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:32,985 - Hey, how are ya? - Fine. 841 01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:39,426 - Heads up. - Whoa! 842 01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:44,705 Paint, draw, glue stuff, I don't care. 843 01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,385 This is not a class. 844 01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,506 What are you painting? 845 01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,631 I call it Knight Fight. 846 01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,311 You must have been a real dork in school, huh? 847 01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,224 You have no idea. 848 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,181 Kids... 849 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:04,503 My manipulative mother, who thinks I won't be able 850 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,550 to ignore her in front of you, who is wrong. 851 01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,984 You're disturbing them. 852 01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:12,303 And on their special day. 853 01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,869 Now that's manipulative. 854 01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:16,471 That's how you do it. 855 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,305 Okay. Let's, let's make stuff, guys. 856 01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,902 I was... I was out of line at your wedding and I'm sorry. 857 01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:27,105 I'm sorry. 858 01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:29,624 And I miss you. 859 01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,106 And I gave birth to you, so you owe me. 860 01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:38,985 You drive all night? 861 01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:41,385 Yeah. 862 01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,870 Okay. Let's put it behind us. 863 01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,269 Yeah. 864 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:53,464 Oh! Let's have an awesome time! 865 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,145 Was that facetious? 866 01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:57,870 Of course not. 867 01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:03,146 You know, you can back out, dude. 868 01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:06,184 - We'll never judge you for it. - No. 869 01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,070 I have to do this. 870 01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:12,759 Where's this fundraiser? 871 01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:15,022 - Oh, it's at the Hart Ranch. - Good to go. 872 01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,260 No. Don't you even think it. Leo! 873 01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:24,189 Leo! No, Leo! No! 874 01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,263 No, no, no, no. No! Don't, Leo! Stop! 875 01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,309 No, no! No, no, no! 876 01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:35,224 Can I borrow these? 877 01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,864 Holy shit! Danny? 878 01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:45,945 It's the dishwasher! 879 01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,030 Holy shit! 880 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,941 Jesus Christ! 881 01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,589 Isn't he afraid of heights? 882 01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:15,742 Ooh. 883 01:05:59,920 --> 01:06:01,431 Oh, my God! 884 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,506 Hey. 885 01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:24,747 The only good thing about this place is the Jell-O. 886 01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:28,501 - And the Percodan. - I'll get you some more. 887 01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:31,541 - Percodan? - Jell-O. 888 01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:36,266 - You want a bite? - I'm good. 889 01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:48,707 Sorry I broke the Troys. 890 01:06:57,200 --> 01:06:59,064 Jesus. 891 01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:02,430 Look at you. 892 01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:07,382 Why the hell did you do it? 893 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,025 To show you 894 01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,660 that one thing Julie said isn't true. 895 01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,068 That I could get over my fear of heights. 896 01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:17,866 A fear which is 897 01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,182 very much back, by the way. 898 01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,221 You know, I... 899 01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:32,189 I hate that you read all those things she wrote. 900 01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:45,023 Some things she calls wrong don't seem wrong to me. 901 01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,428 I don't think you were wrong to walk from a publishing deal 902 01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:49,509 because you didn't agree with their changes. 903 01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:53,021 God, I wish I could be that sure of myself. 904 01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:57,502 Why do you steal newspapers? 905 01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:02,620 Your ex would say that it's a... 906 01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:05,585 a product of futile antiestablishment urges. 907 01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,908 Me, flailing at corporate America. 908 01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,222 But their coffee is so expensive. 909 01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,862 And the way they double-cup? It's so wasteful. 910 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,671 So every day I steal a dollar. 911 01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,028 My little 'fuck you' to the man. 912 01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:32,145 But this isn't gonna end how you want it to. 913 01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,384 Good bye, Leo. 914 01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:02,461 Writing, and the pursuit of a woman, 915 01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,469 like any impossible dream, 916 01:09:04,480 --> 01:09:06,548 are not about immediate results. 917 01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:08,704 They're about telling the truth, 918 01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:11,944 no matter how absurd or embarrassing, 919 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,751 or what injuries you sustain. 920 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:18,229 And hoping like hell she'll hear you. 921 01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:23,550 He's... he's awful. 922 01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:26,750 Does he do that thing where he just talks and talks... 923 01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:29,867 Hey, Debrugan! 924 01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:40,101 Sometimes a prick is a prick, and it needs to be said. 925 01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:42,985 At a brunch? In front of an entire restaurant? 926 01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:45,666 Not everything is an opportunity to take a stand. 927 01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:48,029 What is one? For you? 928 01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:52,464 I mean, between all the back slapping and the 'hey man', who'd have the time? 929 01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:55,902 Sorry I don't occupy the special place of moral purity 930 01:09:55,960 --> 01:10:00,384 from which to cast my pious judgments, better known as a dish pit. 931 01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:04,626 What... what the hell does this have to do with him? 932 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,068 Because it's what you're thinking. 933 01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:27,586 We need to talk. 934 01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:46,388 Your pal in there, Mandeep. 935 01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:48,190 My firm did the paperwork for this place 936 01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:51,110 when they wanted a guest worker visa to bring in a cook. 937 01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:54,945 Okay. What I've done has nothing to do with him. 938 01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:56,425 It's so sad. 939 01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,224 These poor bastards. 940 01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:00,826 They get told by these recruiting agencies to come, 941 01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:03,665 work an entry-level job and get a work permit. 942 01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:05,470 But it's all bullshit. 943 01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,106 And you can be damn sure they're not gonna get one 944 01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:10,029 if they're too scared to contact Immigration 945 01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:12,222 when those visas ran out. 946 01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:14,744 Two years ago. 947 01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:21,263 If you ever say another single word to my wife, 948 01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:23,719 your friend and his kids are going back to whatever shithole 949 01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:25,868 in Bangalore they came from. 950 01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:27,950 Comprende, dishwasher? 951 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:01,949 You okay? 952 01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:07,029 Hmm? Yeah. Fine. 953 01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:45,069 What do you think, buddy? 954 01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:48,227 What else can life take from us? 955 01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,065 What are you doing here? 956 01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:27,141 I have a few days off the book tour. 957 01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:29,902 I thought I'd bring Snow home. 958 01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:37,382 - Snow? - You're right about the cats, Leo. 959 01:13:40,960 --> 01:13:42,300 They should be together. 960 01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:44,789 Oh, 961 01:13:48,280 --> 01:13:51,031 Always had shitty timing, Jules. 962 01:13:59,960 --> 01:14:01,744 I wonder if I hadn't separated them 963 01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,703 if the bear would have got him? 964 01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:05,586 Probably not. 965 01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:07,991 Snow's a scrapper. 966 01:14:08,040 --> 01:14:10,063 Aren't you, old girl? 967 01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:13,110 Yeah. 968 01:14:15,800 --> 01:14:17,470 I read your book. 969 01:14:18,760 --> 01:14:21,386 - Really? - I can't believe you broke my guitar. 970 01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:23,867 I can't believe you couldn't learn one song. 971 01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:36,827 Sure, they're hanging her paintings. 972 01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,311 And you know what they're also doing? 973 01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:42,027 They're laughing at inside jokes, and developing a shorthand. 974 01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:46,547 Screw it. I'm going in! 975 01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:50,506 Neil, you have nothing to worry about. Neil! 976 01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:54,547 Neil, Neil, Neil! Nothing good will come from you going in there. Trust me! 977 01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:57,982 - Said by a man who listens to no one. - You're right. 978 01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:01,700 Said by a man who should start. 979 01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,386 You were right. 980 01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:08,703 I should have trusted you. 981 01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:10,909 About my book. 982 01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:13,870 You're a good editor. I wore you down. 983 01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:15,624 I let you down. 984 01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:19,102 I dug in my heels instead of listening to your suggestions. 985 01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:21,987 Which were good. 986 01:15:22,040 --> 01:15:25,144 All right, well, you couldn't see it at the time. That's okay. 987 01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:26,341 But you did. 988 01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:29,185 You had faith in me, man. 989 01:15:29,240 --> 01:15:31,820 I should have had faith in you back. 990 01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:35,866 To listen. And Julie was right, it's my worst flaw. 991 01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:38,466 Which I will work on. 992 01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:41,464 If you have faith in me on this and do not go in there. 993 01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:49,909 - Okay. - Okay? 994 01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,787 Hey! 995 01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,543 Can I talk to you for a minute? 996 01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:05,267 How's Leo? 997 01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:09,507 - He's fine. - Good. 998 01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,270 Can you say hi to him for me? 999 01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:17,226 He sleeps in our room, so yeah, we could probably hook that up. 1000 01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:19,181 Thanks, guys. 1001 01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:29,509 - Hey, Colette! Wait up! - Colette! Hold on! Wait! 1002 01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,629 You need to know something. 1003 01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:46,311 Hey, babe. 1004 01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:50,101 I know what you threatened Leo with. 1005 01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:55,510 I knew he'd play this for sympathy. 1006 01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,102 No, he honored your deal. 1007 01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:02,944 He didn't tell me anything. 1008 01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,829 You've never been on the outside of anything, have you? 1009 01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:17,026 When you noticed me, Danny, 1010 01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:21,065 you cast a warmth on me I'd never felt before. 1011 01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,827 And those first months were perfect. 1012 01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:28,066 What do you mean, 'were?' 1013 01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:31,707 I mean I think I spent so long thinking there was something wrong with me 1014 01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:34,471 because I was never on the inside... 1015 01:17:35,200 --> 01:17:37,302 that I never thought about what being there... 1016 01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:40,782 always being there, does to a person. 1017 01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:45,102 - Being where? - Safe. Perfectly safe. 1018 01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:47,222 Surrounded by your boys 1019 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:50,389 and your history here and your father's reputation. 1020 01:17:50,440 --> 01:17:53,908 - Okay, I am the one wronged here! - Yes. You were. 1021 01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,183 - So I took a stand against this asshole. - A stand? 1022 01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:01,311 Danny, taking a stand has to hurt. Or make you look like a fool or... 1023 01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:07,584 What you did was easy. 1024 01:18:08,240 --> 01:18:10,388 And that is not a stand. 1025 01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:14,183 I don't belong here... 1026 01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:16,421 and we both know it. 1027 01:18:16,560 --> 01:18:18,025 All right. 1028 01:18:18,080 --> 01:18:21,229 This isn't happening. No, not about him. 1029 01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:24,111 I'm not gonna run into his arms, if that's what you mean. 1030 01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:31,508 But it is about him. 1031 01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,463 About all that he is that makes what you're not so clear. 1032 01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:43,305 What, a loser? 1033 01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:46,461 A guy who scrubs pots for a living? 1034 01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:51,305 A guy whose own wife couldn't stand him? Hmm? 1035 01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,987 We're all wrong for someone, Danny. 1036 01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:14,709 Oh, shit. 1037 01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:18,144 Jill had used those way-too-intimate 1038 01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:21,543 pictures of Neil on her phone for something more... 1039 01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:23,782 profound than foreplay. 1040 01:19:26,160 --> 01:19:29,742 You are a fine piece of art. 1041 01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:42,786 - You can't consult your muse. - They are amazing. 1042 01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:45,671 And I am an idiot. 1043 01:19:45,720 --> 01:19:48,141 You really are, an idiot. 1044 01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:50,901 Who inspires me every day. 1045 01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:04,663 - Leo. - Julie. 1046 01:20:05,360 --> 01:20:09,545 - Uh, this is Chad. Leo. - Hey, Chad. 1047 01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:13,543 Hon, can you just give us a minute? Okay. 1048 01:20:17,920 --> 01:20:19,385 Did you ever think we'd be standing in a room 1049 01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:23,306 full of vaguely abstracted images of Neil's junk? 1050 01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,223 Is it so surprising, though? 1051 01:20:30,320 --> 01:20:33,310 There's always been something seriously wrong with them. 1052 01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:35,426 Exactly. 1053 01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:39,342 You know, the right kind of wrong, for each other. 1054 01:20:41,360 --> 01:20:43,542 It's kind of what we weren't. 1055 01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:50,270 You're a good writer, Jules. 1056 01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:53,546 Thank you. 1057 01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,668 From you that means a lot. 1058 01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:00,980 And I should've climbed mountains for you. 1059 01:21:02,720 --> 01:21:04,663 I did a lot wrong, too. 1060 01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:07,346 Maybe I didn't 1061 01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:09,264 stress that enough in the blog. 1062 01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,140 Or the book. 1063 01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:15,424 I'll try in the movie. 1064 01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:24,823 - Oh, there's gonna be a movie? - Yeah. Cool, huh? 1065 01:21:25,240 --> 01:21:27,039 And speaking of, 1066 01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:30,064 I actually have an idea about those copies of your novel, I... 1067 01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:31,591 Hey! 1068 01:21:32,800 --> 01:21:34,106 Do you know that woman? 1069 01:21:37,440 --> 01:21:39,479 Uh, what were you saying? About my novel? 1070 01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:43,062 Hi. Julie. I'm Colette. 1071 01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:44,790 It's a great book. 1072 01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:47,542 Total load of crap, but funny. 1073 01:21:48,280 --> 01:21:49,506 Thank you. 1074 01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:52,701 I'll, um, 1075 01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:54,385 I'll leave you two. 1076 01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:01,267 I'm sorry, Colette. 1077 01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:04,987 I, um, shouldn't have pursued you so shamelessly. 1078 01:22:05,040 --> 01:22:06,744 I don't... 1079 01:22:07,320 --> 01:22:09,024 I don't even know you. 1080 01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:13,990 - Really? - I have to go. 1081 01:22:14,040 --> 01:22:16,108 - So... - I left Danny. 1082 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,869 And if Mandeep gets a call from Immigration, 1083 01:22:22,920 --> 01:22:25,102 he knows I'll take half the house in the divorce. 1084 01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:29,469 Danny... loves that house. 1085 01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:35,149 Do you know what got me? 1086 01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:39,824 It wasn't your willingness to humiliate yourself... 1087 01:22:41,120 --> 01:22:43,222 or all the injuries. 1088 01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,023 It was that after all that, you would walk away. 1089 01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:51,468 There's something in you, 1090 01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:53,266 some hard, 1091 01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,627 good little kernel of something. 1092 01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:59,110 Corn? 1093 01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:01,621 It's the only thing I know that comes in kernels. 1094 01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,228 Dude, there is nothing good about corn. 1095 01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,111 Only the Mayans knew how to digest that shit. But you? 1096 01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:09,791 You try telling Monsanto that in threatening letters, 1097 01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:12,949 they will send dudes to your house. 1098 01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:18,462 - Have you been drinking? - Since three. 1099 01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:20,181 Do you want to 1100 01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:23,150 go find an inappropriate place to make out? 1101 01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:30,702 Ah. Where were you last night? 1102 01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,025 Come here! 1103 01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:40,664 Thank you. Thank you. 1104 01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,664 - What if she's your Poojah? - Yeah. 1105 01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:47,224 - What are you talking about? - You made sweet love to her? 1106 01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:50,071 Well, I wouldn't say that. 1107 01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:20,228 Are you sure we should be doing this? 1108 01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,151 - You're really drunk. - Shut up. 1109 01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:24,069 - You're really drunk. - Shut up! 1110 01:24:24,600 --> 01:24:26,862 - Okay. - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1111 01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:29,267 We talked. It was nice. 1112 01:24:29,960 --> 01:24:31,550 Colette! 1113 01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:34,101 - I don't know why you're... - No, no! 1114 01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:36,706 Thanks to you, I am gonna be 30, man! 1115 01:24:37,120 --> 01:24:39,382 - It's a great age! - I'm gonna be divorced. 1116 01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:42,703 My God! My cups are never gonna match again! 1117 01:24:47,040 --> 01:24:50,906 God! Do you think you should keep drinking? 1118 01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,861 You okay? 1119 01:25:34,440 --> 01:25:36,781 They're lovely. Thanks. 1120 01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:40,588 And I'm a really bad drinker. 1121 01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:42,909 A little aggressive, maybe. 1122 01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:53,510 - I've been to Paris. - I haven't, actually. 1123 01:25:53,640 --> 01:25:55,230 My mom sent it to me. 1124 01:25:57,080 --> 01:25:58,591 Oh, yeah. 1125 01:25:58,960 --> 01:26:00,425 You have been there. 1126 01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,879 Oh. 1127 01:26:03,880 --> 01:26:05,141 I had heatstroke. 1128 01:26:06,840 --> 01:26:08,704 I'm not the best drinker, either. 1129 01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:17,630 For you. 1130 01:26:17,720 --> 01:26:19,709 That's really sweet. 1131 01:26:21,880 --> 01:26:23,141 For you. 1132 01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:26,507 Oh, my God. 1133 01:26:26,520 --> 01:26:28,429 I'm so sorry about last night. 1134 01:26:34,760 --> 01:26:36,464 Bruises heal. 1135 01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:43,788 Leo, I left Danny because of you. 1136 01:26:47,400 --> 01:26:48,831 Not for you. 1137 01:26:50,360 --> 01:26:52,588 Isn't that kind of the same thing? 1138 01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:55,346 I went to the art gallery because I wanted to tell you 1139 01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:58,390 how noble I thought you were when he wasn't. 1140 01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:01,943 But what happened after... 1141 01:27:03,400 --> 01:27:05,628 It's been a tough time, 1142 01:27:05,640 --> 01:27:09,108 and I think I just needed to blow off a little steam. 1143 01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:14,145 I'm so sorry. 1144 01:27:15,120 --> 01:27:19,384 No, it's... I get it. 1145 01:27:21,120 --> 01:27:23,188 Yeah, we've all done it. 1146 01:27:27,400 --> 01:27:28,990 But next time you try to lose yourself 1147 01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:32,622 in some trauma-inducing sexual encounter, 1148 01:27:33,480 --> 01:27:36,265 just make sure the guy isn't in love with you. 1149 01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:45,068 See you around, Colette. 1150 01:27:58,320 --> 01:28:01,519 That summer, three seemingly impossible, 1151 01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:03,748 beautiful things happened. 1152 01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:10,782 The first... 1153 01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:14,069 Balls came out of the woods, healthier than ever. 1154 01:28:15,720 --> 01:28:16,959 which is what I want. 1155 01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:19,586 The second impossible thing began with Julie's rounds 1156 01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:23,199 on the talk shows to promote Why You Suck, the movie. 1157 01:28:23,200 --> 01:28:26,543 Leo was the most stubborn guy. And a terrible guitar player. 1158 01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:29,782 But the novel he wrote, 1159 01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:31,783 "Sex and Sunsets", 1160 01:28:31,960 --> 01:28:35,462 muddled, but intriguing. 1161 01:28:35,520 --> 01:28:37,782 "Sex and Sunsets?" 1162 01:28:37,840 --> 01:28:39,305 Interesting. 1163 01:28:40,360 --> 01:28:42,189 Really? All of them? 1164 01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:44,747 Yeah. Amazon ordered way more than we had. Julie was right. 1165 01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:46,749 Her just mentioning it made it sell. 1166 01:28:46,840 --> 01:28:48,749 We're going into a second printing! 1167 01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:00,740 The third impossible thing being 1168 01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:03,631 the death of the Big Horn Honker. 1169 01:29:09,840 --> 01:29:12,386 Writing and the pursuit of a woman 1170 01:29:12,400 --> 01:29:14,741 are never about immediate results. 1171 01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:17,631 What they are about is telling the truth. 1172 01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:20,671 And hoping like hell she'll hear you. 1173 01:29:28,680 --> 01:29:31,306 I'd like to think I've evolved. 1174 01:29:31,760 --> 01:29:33,305 But I'll always say, 1175 01:29:33,320 --> 01:29:36,629 some snap judgments are true. 1176 01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:46,829 Because you have to be a dick to drive a Hummer. 1177 01:30:18,720 --> 01:30:19,707 Hey. 1178 01:30:24,480 --> 01:30:28,710 - You're really out of breath. - Just getting some exercise. 1179 01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:36,065 What are you doing here? 1180 01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:41,868 There was a white bear spotted on a trail north of town. 1181 01:30:44,160 --> 01:30:46,103 And I wondered if 1182 01:30:47,400 --> 01:30:49,502 you wanted to look for him with me. 1183 01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:02,267 I know a trail that should get us there 1184 01:31:02,320 --> 01:31:04,070 without too bad a climb. 1185 01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:21,903 I know it's inappropriate... 1186 01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,620 but I want you, Leo Palamino. 1187 01:31:27,560 --> 01:31:29,264 Right here. 1188 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:43,546 - Come on! Stay with me. - Nice view. 1189 01:31:51,920 --> 01:31:54,068 The beauty of nature will surprise you 1190 01:31:54,080 --> 01:31:56,911 if you look and listen. 1191 01:31:56,920 --> 01:31:59,022 - Nature's great! - Awesome. 1192 01:32:06,040 --> 01:32:07,505 That really is awesome. 1193 01:32:19,480 --> 01:32:20,786 This way!