This was Dale, the City of Golden Bells,
in the time middle-earth,
before men came to power and ruined magic forever.
And this is the Arkenstone of old,
the white heart of the mountain,
the central treasure of all the vast treasures of this golden realm.
Suddenly, it was all destroyed, by the monster lizard Slag the Terrible.
Slag, the agent of evil on earth.
And he dragged off the treasures of Dale,
even the Arkenstone itself.
Only three survived the flames.
A watchman who slept when the dragon came creeping,
Thorin Oakenshield, general of the now destroyed garrison of Dale,
and princess Mika Milovana,
who sadly watched the crumbling ashes of her once golden realm.
"Gandalf!" whispered general Oakenshield,
"Only the great wizard Gandalf can help us now."
Three ragged and weary survivors of Dale, the burned City of Golden Bells,
came to the lonely tower of Gandalf the Grey.
"So it has come to pass", said the great wizard,
"that Dale has been destroyed by Slag,
and that he nests on the treasure in the carved halls on the Lonely Mountain,
just as it is written in the great book.
Then it is clear that the time has come,
the time of the hobbit.
Far away from all the troubles of dragons and treasure...
...lived a certain hobbit.
Like all hobbits he lived in a hole in the ground.
It was a very comfortable home,
full of everything needed for a cozy secure life.
A far different sort of life
than that of his great great great great grandhobbit.
This settled and satisfied hobbit was named Bilbo Baggins
And he didn't know that his time had come.
All at once they were there, eating his food, shouting for more,
filling the air with terrifying words
about dragons, fire, stolen gold and death.
"I don't know who you are, I don't know what you're all talking about!"
cried Bilbo Baggins.
"We are talking about you." said the wizard Gandalf.
"You are the chosen dragon killer.
You shall lead this group over the impassable Barricade Mountains,
through the impenetrable Mirkwood Forest,
across the poisonous desolation of Slag, to Lonely Mountain itself,
wherein the horrid creature lies.
You must creep into the deepest great chamber of the old jewel mines of Dale
and kill the fire-spitting dragon Slag.
"A fascinating story." said the small hobbit,
"And now if you've all finished your breakfast,
it's been a great pleasure to meet you,
...and I wish you lots of luck and all speed."
"But it is written in the prophecies." said general Thorin Oakenshield,
"We cannot go without you."
"Then don't go at all." shouted Bilbo, "Leave that old dragon be."
The princess was furious and impatient with all this talk.
"Mr. Baggins", she shouted,
"That dragon has killed my father and all of my people.
He has burned to ashes my golden land of Dale.
Now he sits on our treasures, and waits his time
to strike other lands, maybe even here.
If you are all afraid then I shall go alone."
Bilbo was shocked. He shouted at Gandalf,
"But this is crazy, she's only a child.
You can't let her face this journey, that dragon alone!"
"Correct" the great Wizard agreed,
"I'm glad you see it at last dear Bilbo,
you can start first thing in the morning."
And so they set out to follow the ancient map,
leaving the comforts of Hobbiton behind,
and carrying barely enough food for the usual hobbit between meal snack,
the conscripted dragon slayer and the three survivors of Dale
struggled across the Great Barricades.
Gandalf the Grey watched from his own distance.
He knew well what terror waited along this craggy path.
A crushed cabin burns a stolen lamb to feed groans,
hungry brutes with skin as thick as bark.
But people-meat is their favourite food.
The legends say that groans must be in their caves before sunrise,
or they'll surely turn into dry trees, rooted to the ground forever.
There was a long night ahead.
And this puny lamb would serve only as an appetizer.
as the unsuspecting travellers approached.
The smell of roasting lamb was too much for the starving hobbit.
But the others, being bigger and even hungrier,
knocked him spinning into a hollow log.
In no time at all the three were tied to the roasting spit.
But the second groan was angry that the first had burned the lamb,
and demanded that the new victims should be boiled instead of roasted.
The first groan furiously knocked the spit from the flames,
and shouted that the second should be happy to have people flesh at all.
Now the hobbit saw that he might save the others,
if he could just keep the putchish groans fighting among themselves.
He was a good mimic,
and he hoped the hollow log would amplify his small voice.
The second groan's lips didn't move, but his voice seemed to shout,
"No stupid ape like you can tell me how to eat my food."
"Who are you calling stupid you ugly knothead?" roared the first.
Soon the dull-witted groans forgot all about their dinner,
and were busily trying to kill one another.
They fought and cursed each other through the night,
till the first rays of the sun caught them by surprise.
Bilbo had tricked them and now they would be rooted to the spot forever.
Two less groans and two more knolled dead trees.
As they moved forward again across the Great Barricades,
the survivors had a new opinion of their small hobbit dragon slayer.
"Perhaps he might prove useful after all.", thought Thorin Oakenshield.
Then, suddenly, Bilbo was gone.
Down through a crevice, with a soundless scream,
...as the others trudged on.
Down past the chewed rock tunnels
of the hateful grablins, who kill and eat only for spite.
Down to the roots of the mountain.
Down, to where there is none but... Gollum.
Unremembered years before, a weak and rejected creature found...
what Gandalf the Grey still seeks:
The One Ring of Power.
He had crept into the inky depths to hide it here,
on this black island where the hobbit had now fallen.
And he had cringed with his ring alone in the dark so long,
that he could speak only to his miserable self: Gollum.
What horrid little nasty has come to steal our ring, my preciouss,
we must squeeze it till it dies, yess,
we doesn't let it take our dearest ring, gollum!
Bilbo did have the ring.
Magically the One Ring of Power had found it's true bearer,
it was Bilbo Baggins the hobbit.
He felt the ring's power that it might help him against the dragon Slag.
Bilbo made a mighty leap on his broad hobbit feet,
clear to the shore, and darted up the nearest tunnel as fast as he could go.
"Curse him and crush him!", went Gollum,
"We must catch the tricksy thief before it reaches the outside."
And the wretched thing waddled right past Bilbo,
who of course didn't know the way out,
but who guessed that Gollum did.
And Gollum led him to the only tunnel unknown to the evil grablins.
and directly into the blessed sunlight.
So Bilbo was able to re-join his companions,
who had crossed the tops of the mountains,
and they faced together the next obstacle on their long journey,
Mirkwood Forest.
Entering Mirkwood was like plunging into a sea of trees,
and being unable to come up for air.
An eternal, endless forest, whose mists were as poisonous as its vegetation.
The four travellers were starved and exhausted,
but they pushed on, compulsively determined
to bring themselves to the most hideous danger of all:
Lonely Mountain, wherein lay the killer dragon Slag.
There he lay, the vast, red-gold dragon,
fast asleep in this immense hall that once was the jewel mine of Dale.
Ironically Slag had dragged these same jewels,
from the treasury of the Golden City he destroyed,
back to the very place of their origin.
As Bilbo looked out on this stupendous scene of both beauty and ugliness,
his feelings too were a swirling mixture of exhilaration and horror.
Then, out of the staggering panorama of gems, he suddenly saw only one:
It was the Arkenstone, the Arkenstone of Dale.
now the tiny hobbit knew exactly how this lizard must die.
It was the bravest thing he had ever done, certainly braver than anything
that comfort loving squire of Hobbiton ever would have imagined he could do.
Perhaps it was only the power the ring he wore.
Perhaps it was his growing love for the princess Mika.
Or maybe it was only that he knew that someone had to do it.
But he did it!
He climbed the diamond vest of the slumbering dragon,
and he stole the Arkenstone.
Together with the others, he fashioned
a powerful crossbow from old mining tools.
And the Arkenstone, the white heart of Dale,
was the arrow-head destined for the black hart of Slag.
And so he did it,
just as Gandalf knew he would.
And the City of Golden Bells was built again.
And Bilbo and Mika reigned there together.
But finally they returned to that quiet comfortable life in Hobbiton,
...until the next time Gandalf the Grey would knock upon the round green door.