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This was Dale,
the City of Golden Bells,

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in the time middle-earth,

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before men came to power
and ruined magic forever.

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And this is the Arkenstone of old,

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the white heart of the mountain,

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the central treasure of all the vast
treasures of this golden realm.

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Suddenly, it was all destroyed, by
the monster lizard Slag the Terrible.

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Slag, the agent of evil on earth.

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And he dragged off
the treasures of Dale,

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even the Arkenstone itself.

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Only three survived the flames.

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A watchman who slept when
the dragon came creeping,

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Thorin Oakenshield, general of
the now destroyed garrison of Dale,

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and princess Mika Milovana,

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who sadly watched the crumbling
ashes of her once golden realm.

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"Gandalf!" whispered
general Oakenshield,

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"Only the great wizard
Gandalf can help us now."

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Three ragged and weary survivors of
Dale, the burned City of Golden Bells,

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came to the lonely tower
of Gandalf the Grey.

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"So it has come to pass",
said the great wizard,

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"that Dale has been
destroyed by Slag,

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and that he nests on the treasure in the
carved halls on the Lonely Mountain,

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just as it is written
in the great book.

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Then it is clear that
the time has come,

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the time of the hobbit.

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Far away from all the troubles
of dragons and treasure...

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...lived a certain hobbit.

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Like all hobbits he lived
in a hole in the ground.

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It was a very comfortable home,

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full of everything needed
for a cozy secure life.

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A far different sort of life

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than that of his great great
great great grandhobbit.

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This settled and satisfied
hobbit was named Bilbo Baggins

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And he didn't know
that his time had come.

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All at once they were there,
eating his food, shouting for more,

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filling the air with
terrifying words

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about dragons, fire,
stolen gold and death.

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"I don't know who you are, I don't
know what you're all talking about!"

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cried Bilbo Baggins.

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"We are talking about you."
said the wizard Gandalf.

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"You are the chosen dragon killer.

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You shall lead this group over the
impassable Barricade Mountains,

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through the impenetrable
Mirkwood Forest,

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across the poisonous desolation
of Slag, to Lonely Mountain itself,

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wherein the horrid creature lies.

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You must creep into the deepest great
chamber of the old jewel mines of Dale

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and kill the fire-spitting
dragon Slag.

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"A fascinating story."
said the small hobbit,

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"And now if you've all
finished your breakfast,

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it's been a great pleasure
to meet you,

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...and I wish you lots
of luck and all speed."

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"But it is written in the prophecies."
said general Thorin Oakenshield,

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"We cannot go without you."

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"Then don't go at all." shouted
Bilbo, "Leave that old dragon be."

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The princess was furious
and impatient with all this talk.

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"Mr. Baggins", she shouted,

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"That dragon has killed my
father and all of my people.

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He has burned to ashes
my golden land of Dale.

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Now he sits on our treasures,
and waits his time

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to strike other lands,
maybe even here.

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If you are all afraid
then I shall go alone."

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Bilbo was shocked. He
shouted at Gandalf,

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"But this is crazy,
she's only a child.

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You can't let her face this
journey, that dragon alone!"

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"Correct" the great Wizard agreed,

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"I'm glad you see it
at last dear Bilbo,

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you can start first
thing in the morning."

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And so they set out to
follow the ancient map,

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leaving the comforts
of Hobbiton behind,

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and carrying barely enough food for
the usual hobbit between meal snack,

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the conscripted dragon slayer
and the three survivors of Dale

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struggled across
the Great Barricades.

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Gandalf the Grey watched
from his own distance.

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He knew well what terror waited
along this craggy path.

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A crushed cabin burns a
stolen lamb to feed groans,

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hungry brutes with
skin as thick as bark.

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But people-meat is
their favourite food.

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The legends say that groans must
be in their caves before sunrise,

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or they'll surely turn into dry trees,
rooted to the ground forever.

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There was a long night ahead.

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And this puny lamb would
serve only as an appetizer.

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as the unsuspecting travellers
approached.

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The smell of roasting lamb was too
much for the starving hobbit.

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But the others, being
bigger and even hungrier,

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knocked him spinning
into a hollow log.

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In no time at all the three
were tied to the roasting spit.

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But the second groan was angry
that the first had burned the lamb,

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and demanded that the new victims
should be boiled instead of roasted.

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The first groan furiously knocked
the spit from the flames,

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and shouted that the second should
be happy to have people flesh at all.

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Now the hobbit saw that
he might save the others,

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if he could just keep the putchish
groans fighting among themselves.

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He was a good mimic,

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and he hoped the hollow log
would amplify his small voice.

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The second groan's lips didn't move,
but his voice seemed to shout,

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"No stupid ape like you can
tell me how to eat my food."

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"Who are you calling stupid you
ugly knothead?" roared the first.

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Soon the dull-witted groans
forgot all about their dinner,

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and were busily trying
to kill one another.

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They fought and cursed each
other through the night,

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till the first rays of the
sun caught them by surprise.

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Bilbo had tricked them and now they
would be rooted to the spot forever.

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Two less groans and two
more knolled dead trees.

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As they moved forward again
across the Great Barricades,

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the survivors had a new opinion
of their small hobbit dragon slayer.

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"Perhaps he might prove useful after
all.", thought Thorin Oakenshield.

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Then, suddenly, Bilbo was gone.

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Down through a crevice,
with a soundless scream,

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...as the others trudged on.

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Down past the chewed rock tunnels

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of the hateful grablins, who
kill and eat only for spite.

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Down to the roots of the mountain.

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Down, to where there
is none but... Gollum.

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Unremembered years before, a weak
and rejected creature found...

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what Gandalf the Grey still seeks:

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The One Ring of Power.

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He had crept into the inky
depths to hide it here,

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on this black island where
the hobbit had now fallen.

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And he had cringed with his
ring alone in the dark so long,

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that he could speak only to
his miserable self: Gollum.

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What horrid little nasty has come
to steal our ring, my preciouss,

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we must squeeze it till it dies, yess,

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we doesn't let it take
our dearest ring, gollum!

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Bilbo did have the ring.

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Magically the One Ring of Power
had found it's true bearer,

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it was Bilbo Baggins the hobbit.

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He felt the ring's power that it might
help him against the dragon Slag.

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Bilbo made a mighty leap
on his broad hobbit feet,

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clear to the shore, and darted up the
nearest tunnel as fast as he could go.

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"Curse him and crush
him!", went Gollum,

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"We must catch the tricksy thief
before it reaches the outside."

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And the wretched thing
waddled right past Bilbo,

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who of course didn't
know the way out,

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but who guessed that Gollum did.

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And Gollum led him to the only
tunnel unknown to the evil grablins.

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and directly into the
blessed sunlight.

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So Bilbo was able to
re-join his companions,

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who had crossed the tops
of the mountains,

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and they faced together the next
obstacle on their long journey,

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Mirkwood Forest.

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Entering Mirkwood was like
plunging into a sea of trees,

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and being unable
to come up for air.

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An eternal, endless forest, whose mists
were as poisonous as its vegetation.

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The four travellers were
starved and exhausted,

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but they pushed on,
compulsively determined

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to bring themselves to the
most hideous danger of all:

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Lonely Mountain, wherein
lay the killer dragon Slag.

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There he lay, the vast,
red-gold dragon,

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fast asleep in this immense hall that
once was the jewel mine of Dale.

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Ironically Slag had dragged
these same jewels,

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from the treasury of the
Golden City he destroyed,

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back to the very place
of their origin.

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As Bilbo looked out on this stupendous
scene of both beauty and ugliness,

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his feelings too were a swirling
mixture of exhilaration and horror.

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Then, out of the staggering panorama
of gems, he suddenly saw only one:

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It was the Arkenstone,
the Arkenstone of Dale.

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now the tiny hobbit knew exactly
how this lizard must die.

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It was the bravest thing he had ever
done, certainly braver than anything

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that comfort loving squire of Hobbiton
ever would have imagined he could do.

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Perhaps it was only the
power the ring he wore.

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Perhaps it was his growing
love for the princess Mika.

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Or maybe it was only that he knew
that someone had to do it.

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But he did it!

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He climbed the diamond vest
of the slumbering dragon,

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and he stole the Arkenstone.

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Together with the others,
he fashioned

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a powerful crossbow
from old mining tools.

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And the Arkenstone,
the white heart of Dale,

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was the arrow-head destined
for the black hart of Slag.

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And so he did it,

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just as Gandalf knew he would.

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And the City of Golden
Bells was built again.

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And Bilbo and Mika
reigned there together.

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But finally they returned to that
quiet comfortable life in Hobbiton,

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...until the next time Gandalf the Grey
would knock upon the round green door.