1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:07,950
BIRDSONG

2
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METAL DETECTOR BEEPS

3
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Anything?

4
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Fuck all.

5
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,480
Three shotgun caps and a blakey.

6
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HE SIGHS

7
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METAL DETECTOR BEEPS FASTER

8
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,360
What you got?

9
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,590
Ring-pull.

10
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,350
'83.

11
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Tizer.

12
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~ What do you do with them?
~ Bag them up. Stick 'em on eBay.

13
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,120
People buy this shit.

14
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Sad tits.

15
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You said it.

16
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♪ Will you search through
the lonely earth for me?

17
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♪ Climb through the briar brambles

18
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♪ I'll be your treasure

19
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♪ I'm waiting for you

20
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,030
♪ I'm waiting for you. ♪

21
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~ See University Challenge last night?
~ Yeah. ~ Anything?

22
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No.

23
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You?

24
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Nah.

25
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Nearly got Benjamin Britten.

26
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~ You can't nearly get an answer
right. ~ I had it in my head.

27
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Didn't say anything. Chickened out.

28
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~ Were you on your own? ~ Yeah.

29
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,830
But you were still too scared
to say it out loud?

30
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,550
~ Yeah. ~ Doesn't count.

31
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I know.

32
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Should have gone for it.

33
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,640
I know.

34
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,070
You going up the club Tuesday?

35
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,670
~ What's happening?
~ Terry's giving a talk on buttons.

36
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~ Buttons? ~ You heard me!
~ Christ! Sod that!

37
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,440
Yeah. I think I'll give that a miss.

38
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:53,390
Here. Did I ever tell you about the
beautiful old battle-axe

39
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~ I once found? ~ Yeah. You married her.
~ I married her.

40
00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,390
~ Have I done that one for you before?
~ Well, you've said it before, yeah.

41
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,790
A few times. Wouldn't exactly call
it a stand-up routine.

42
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You've added the word "beautiful"
since the last time you said it.

43
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,710
Yeah. Well, she was beautiful,
Mags. Mental, though.

44
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And that's why I divorced her.

45
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She left you for the manager
of Pizza Hut.

46
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Yeah. Mental!

47
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She was a hippy, you know...
into crystals and all that shit.

48
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Used to wear vanilla perfume.

49
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~ Oh, yeah. ~ Stank like Play-Doh.
~ Heads up. Who's this?

50
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,800
Don't know.

51
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,070
~ Hi. ~ Hello.
~ I saw you in the field earlier.

52
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,270
Sorry to interrupt,
but are you metal detectors?

53
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,310
No, my dear.

54
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This is a metal detector.

55
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,110
We are metal detectorists.

56
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Oh, right. Sorry.

57
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,750
Not a problem at all.

58
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~ I'm Sophie. ~ Pleased to meet you,
Sophie. I'm Lance and this is...

59
00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,630
~ Andy. ~ I'm a student. History
student. I thought it would

60
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,950
be interesting to know
what kind of things you guys find.

61
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,790
~ Local history. ~ Wise choice, Sophie.
What you got there, Andrew? ~ Um...

62
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,030
Bits and pieces.

63
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A Victorian penny, and then
Battle of Britain. That's nice.

64
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:20,270
~ Worth a few quid on the interweb.
~ Won't do it, mate. ~ Idiot!

65
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,270
~ Why not? ~ I don't sell my finds.
I don't agree with it.

66
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,830
He must have half a tonne of scrap
round at his place.

67
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,110
Hope you're up to date
with your tetanus, mate!

68
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,750
Don't know why he doesn't
invest in some jiffy bags.

69
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,470
~ He could give up the cleaning job.
~ Are you a cleaner? ~ No.

70
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,670
~ He is a cleaner.
~ It's a temping agency.

71
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~ They get me all kinds of work.
~ All kinds of cleaning work.

72
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,470
~ Mainly, yeah. ~ Andy here is
studying for an archaeology degree.

73
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,470
~ Been doing it for...
How long is it, mate? ~ Long time.

74
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But I'll get there and
when I'm a qualified archaeologist,

75
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~ that's when I get to see
the good stuff. ~ Bone.

76
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Bits of pot.
Swap his detector for a palette knife

77
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and spend the rest of his life
scraping the dirt off dirt.

78
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No, thank you! Show me to
the non-ferrous metals, mate!

79
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~ Do you guys belong to a club? ~ DMDC.

80
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,790
Danebury Metal Detecting Club?

81
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,750
In the Scout hall, opposite
the Two Brewers on the high street.

82
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,630
Oh, right. And what
sort of thing happens there?

83
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,590
Well, we compare finds,
discuss the hobby.

84
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,590
Sometimes we get a guest speaker in.

85
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,630
This Tuesday, Terry, club president,
is giving a talk on buttons.

86
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,390
~ Buttons? ~ You heard him.
~ Wow, outrageous(!)

87
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You guys going along?

88
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~ Yeah. ~ Yeah. Probably.
~ Yeah, we'll be there.

89
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Will it be OK for me to pop in?

90
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,790
~ Yeah. ~ Don't see why not.

91
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OK, cool.
Well, I'll see you there, then.

92
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,160
See you.

93
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,280
~ Bye. ~ Bye, Sophie.

94
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,510
Could be good, buttons.

95
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,520
Yeah...

96
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,200
Yeah.

97
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,200
Hello.

98
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,110
~ All right? ~ Yeah. You? ~ Yeah.

99
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:26,190
~ You're late. ~ Yeah, I went to the
pub. ~ Oh. Which one? ~ The Brewers.

100
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,750
~ The Two Brewers? ~ Yeah.

101
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The pub on the corner of our road?

102
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,190
Yeah.

103
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,870
~ Oh, nice. ~ Sorry. I should have
phoned. ~ Might have been nice.

104
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,070
I was with Lance. I didn't think
you'd want to hang out with Lance.

105
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,550
You think he's a bit of a dick.

106
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,510
I think you're a bit of a dick
as well, but I hang out with you.

107
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,190
Might have been nice to have a drink
on a Saturday night

108
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at the end of my road,
with a couple of dicks.

109
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Sorry.

110
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,270
~ Did you find anything good today?
~ Nah. Not much.

111
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Right.

112
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,350
Are you all right?

113
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Are you pissed off with me
detecting?

114
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,110
No, I don't mind, if you enjoy it,

115
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,910
if it's helping
towards your studies.

116
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,230
I need to find a new place
to search.

117
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,430
All we turn up these days is litter
and ring-pulls.

118
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:16,910
This is the land of the Saxons.

119
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,230
I want to discover where they buried
their warriors and their kings.

120
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,030
~ Instead of where they had their
snacks and soft drinks? ~ Exactly.

121
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,630
But we're on it.

122
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~ We're going to strike gold soon
and then we'll be rich. ~ Oh, cool.

123
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,550
We'll go to Africa. I'll set up
my school. You can go and dig holes.

124
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,550
~ Can Lance come? ~ No!

125
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,590
I did find a good penny.

126
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,590
~ Young Victoria. 1865.
~ SHE PRETENDS TO YAWN

127
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Shut up!
That's been in the ground 150 years.

128
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,070
Imagine who dropped that a century
and a half ago.

129
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,550
~ YAWNS AGAIN
~ Oh, yeah, brilliant(!) ~ You cow.

130
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,350
~ Still think I'm brilliant?
~ Course I do.

131
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You're my Lord Carnarvon,
my Howard Carter.

132
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~ You're going to discover
the Valley of the Kings. ~ In Essex.

133
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In Essex.

134
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,870
~ Can you see anything? ~ Yes!

135
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~ Wonderful things!
~ SHE CHUCKLES

136
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,230
Hello, love.

137
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,350
You all right?

138
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,510
Yeah. Just off to work.

139
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,590
~ You all right? ~ Yeah, good.
~ Business good?

140
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,390
~ Oh, it's all right,
you know? ~ Good. Good.

141
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:13,310
Cos I just... I know... I found your
Purple...Rain album and I wondered...

142
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,870
Do you want me to drop that round?

143
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,190
~ Oh, yeah. Would you mind? ~ Yeah.

144
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,430
Sure. Cos...I thought you...

145
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,430
I know you like that song
When Doves Cry.

146
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,630
~ When Doves Cry, yeah.
~ You got a record player...?

147
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,350
Tony's got one.
Really nice vintage one.

148
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,110
~ Oh, good. ~ He's here, actually.
You should say hello.

149
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,150
~ Oh, you're all right, cos...
~ TONY, LANCE IS HERE!

150
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,470
Er...

151
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,030
Hello, mate. Long time no see.

152
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,230
~ Yep.
~ Did you just pop in to say hello?

153
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,950
No, I needed a...scented candle.

154
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,190
~ Didn't think they were your style.
For you? ~ Just a present for someone.

155
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,110
Ooh! A girl?

156
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,830
~ No. ~ A boy?

157
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,310
No. A girl, yeah.

158
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,190
~ Girlfriend? ~ No.

159
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,910
Well... Yeah.

160
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,150
Ooh!

161
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:09,630
~ Who is she? ~ Oh, no-one.
Just...someone.

162
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,630
What flavour?

163
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,710
~ Pardon? ~ The candle.

164
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,270
Oh...
I don't know. What have you got?

165
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,960
~ I like bergamot and vetiver. ~ Mm.

166
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,550
I'll just have a vanilla.

167
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,910
~ Always think
they smell like minicabs. ~ £3.75.

168
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,110
~ Cheers. ~ Do you want your change?
~ Cheers, Mags. Bye.

169
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,720
Yeah, bye, love.

170
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,400
VACUUM CLEANER WHIRS

171
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,680
SWITCHES VACUUM CLEANER OFF

172
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,670
Bollocks, mate!
You just want to see that girl again.

173
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,830
Yes, you do. I can read you like
a book. Anyway, she won't turn up.

174
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,830
Good. Well, you won't be
disappointed, then, will you?

175
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,350
No, come round mine.

176
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,190
I'll knock you up a ruby
and we can head over together.

177
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,750
Anything you don't eat?

178
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,200
Yeah. Apart from meat and fish.

179
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,750
OK. Hold on.

180
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,640
Ted! Is it all right if I knock
off after I've done those aubergines?

181
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,870
Yeah, OK. Back in an hour.

182
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,200
Adios.

183
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,350
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

184
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,830
Hey.

185
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,830
Lance has invited us

186
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,110
round for a curry before we head
over to the club tonight.

187
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,310
Do you want to come?

188
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,430
Obviously not! For so many reasons,

189
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,270
not least of which is the fact
I'm not really invited.

190
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,870
You're just saying that cos
I had a go at you the other night.

191
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,120
What's happening at the club
tonight?

192
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,270
~ Buttons?!
~ You heard me. Do you want to come?

193
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,350
Fuck off!

194
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:24,640
~ All right. I love you. See you
later. ~ Yeah, you too. See you later.

195
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,070
♪ I've lived in a box by the rails

196
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,630
♪ Only thing you use, you don't fail

197
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,190
♪ When you live in a box
by the rails

198
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,720
♪ Don't comb your hair,
don't comb your tail

199
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:06,870
♪ Sweep my mess away

200
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,150
♪ Leave my body, leave my bones

201
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,270
♪ Leave me home and leave my soul

202
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,630
♪ Leave me nothing
I don't need at all

203
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,400
♪ Nothing I don't need at all. ♪

204
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,840
KNOCKS ON GLASS

205
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,910
Nice tits.

206
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,310
Why, thank you.

207
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,390
~ Something smells... ~ Delicious? ~ No.

208
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,670
Something just smells.

209
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,440
Very droll.

210
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,000
Here, stick those peelings
in the compost for me, would you?

211
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,030
You've only got a balcony.
What do you use compost for?

212
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,840
Never know
when it might come in handy.

213
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,950
What's that?

214
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,880
Dunlop SP244, isn't it?

215
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,390
So, I was reading cos of the hot
dry summer we've had,

216
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,830
a lot of the earth works
and archaeological sites have

217
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,110
started to show up as dry
patches in the fields.

218
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,230
Right, so I had a look
on Google Earth.

219
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,990
Looked round the local areas,
scanning the fields,

220
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,160
~ see what I could see.
~ Right. ~ And look.

221
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:47,030
Hembristone. You know
those cabbage fields off the B1010?

222
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,750
Well, look at this,

223
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,390
ring-shaped feature in the field.

224
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,430
OK.

225
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,990
Iron Age roundhouse.
But wait, there's more.

226
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,310
Move to the left and voila!

227
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,590
Another one.

228
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:09,030
But move again to the left
and here's yet another.

229
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,990
Slightly larger circular feature,
but this is different.

230
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:20,270
This one has some sort of entrance
leading to an enclosure. A gateway.

231
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,440
All in a line.

232
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,230
Iron Age settlement.

233
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,670
~ Iron Age settlement?
~ Look at it. Right there.

234
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,990
Mate, you look at it.

235
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,310
Notice anything?

236
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,230
What? No.

237
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,830
Do these features seem to
spell anything?

238
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,150
No.

239
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,030
Wait, erm...

240
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,040
G-O-O...

241
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,270
~ Oh, fucking...
~ Do they seem to spell Google?

242
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,750
~ Fuck it! ~ You prick.

243
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,150
~ It's the Google Earth watermark.
~ It's the Google Earth watermark.

244
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,670
Well, I bet you've
fallen for that before.

245
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,030
Yeah, but I realised within
15 seconds and I never told anyone.

246
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,790
HE SIGHS

247
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,600
No, look. Tell you where we want to
be. I've been doing my own recon.

248
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,310
This farm, here.

249
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,550
~ I don't remember anyone ever going
there before, do you? ~ No.

250
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,790
Look, this is the original Roman
road running up the side.

251
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:23,190
Where you've got Roman, who's to say
you haven't got Saxon as well?

252
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,230
We all know there's
a Saxon ship burial

253
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,190
somewhere in this part
of the county.

254
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,870
We've just got to find it first.

255
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,430
Saxon hoard.

256
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,670
~ It's basically the Holy Grail
of treasure hunting. ~ Well, no.

257
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,310
The Holy Grail is
the Holy Grail of treasure hunting.

258
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,910
If you're going to be pedantic

259
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,390
the Ark of the Covenant
is the Holy Grail.

260
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,520
Let's talk to Terry,
see if he knows who owns this land.

261
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,350
Kerchink.

262
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,150
Ching!

263
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:54,390
And though occasionally a button
will turn up with some

264
00:16:54,440 --> 00:17:00,670
sort of decoration or insignia,
the majority, and I mean the vast

265
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:06,350
majority, as you've seen from my
slides, are completely featureless.

266
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,550
And so, if you think
about the number of buttons

267
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,390
our predecessors
had on their clothes,

268
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,390
compared with the number of coins

269
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,310
they would be carrying in their
pockets, is it any wonder that we

270
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:23,390
find many more buttons
in our day-to-day detecting

271
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,800
than we do coins?

272
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:36,360
So the humble, boring button is
a very real piece of social history.

273
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,160
Lights, please, Sheila.

274
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,480
Sheila?

275
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,310
Thanks, darling.

276
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,880
Button.

277
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,560
So, any questions?

278
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,230
Nobody?

279
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,750
Righto, then.

280
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,750
Ahem. Club notices.

281
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,590
Now, some of you have been
complaining about other

282
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,230
detecting clubs
muscling in on your sites.

283
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,310
Yes, it's those
wankers from the Antiquisearchers.

284
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,190
~ They're spying on us. ~ Russell...

285
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,430
I spent weeks researching that site,
putting together a portfolio,

286
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,030
only to find that someone had got
there the day before me

287
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,510
and secured permission.

288
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,710
The Antiquisearchers are officially
affiliated with the museum.

289
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,870
I find it very hard to believe
that they would be that underhand.

290
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:36,070
To be on the safe side, I will not
be accepting any new members

291
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,990
until the beginning of next season.

292
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,070
DOOR OPENS

293
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,670
Hello.
Is this the metal detecting club?

294
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,920
~ Hello, Sophie. Everybody,
this is my friend Sophie. ~ Hi!

295
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,030
Welcome to the mass ranks
of the Danebury Metal Detecting Club.

296
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,550
~ Come in. Come in.
~ I hope you don't mind.

297
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,910
I was just interested in seeing
what was going on

298
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,750
and what kind of things you'd found.

299
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,430
I understood there was going to be
a talk about buttons?

300
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,710
~ I'm Russell. ~ Welcome, Sophie.
You are very welcome.

301
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,750
I'm afraid you've just
missed my talk about buttons,

302
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,990
but I'll very happily do a recap.

303
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,750
~ No! ~ Please, no!
~ That's OK. Don't worry. Thank you.

304
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,950
Well, take a seat, Sophie,

305
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,070
and welcome to the
Danebury Metal Detecting Club.

306
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:22,070
~ What happened to "no new members",
Terry? ~ Sorry?

307
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,510
You just said we're not
accepting any new members.

308
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,150
~ It's all right. ~ Sophie's cool.
We know Sophie.

309
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,750
There we are, then.

310
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:34,920
~ If we are all in agreement...
Welcome, Sophie. ~ Thank you.

311
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,590
~ What do you think?
~ Yeah, it was interesting.

312
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,150
How was the talk on buttons?

313
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,710
Adrenalin-fuelled.

314
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,750
~ What's next week?
~ Monster Munch packets.

315
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:56,710
This land belongs to one
Lawrence Bishop. Mad as a frog.

316
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,110
People have tried to get permission,
but he always refuses.

317
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,350
Doesn't want people digging around
on his land. Very odd character.

318
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,630
~ Yeah? ~ Yeah, his wife disappeared
years back.

319
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,390
Back when I was on the force.

320
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,830
I wasn't involved in the case,
personally,

321
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,710
but I know they had a very
big file on it.

322
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,470
They watched him for years.
Couldn't ever get anything on him.

323
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,550
Not even enough to get a warrant
out to search his land.

324
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,200
That doesn't bode well!

325
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,550
That's got to be a first.
Student buys round!

326
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,950
Yeah, funny.

327
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,950
~ What are you studying?
~ Ancient history.

328
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,710
Oh, wow.
You're in the right place! Ha-ha!

329
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,070
You want to get yourself a detector
and get out there in the mud.

330
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,670
I'll take you out, if you like.

331
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,350
~ That'd be good. Someone text me
when you going out next? ~ Saturday?

332
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,670
I can't do Saturday.
I'm taking Mags and her mum to bingo.

333
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:52,390
~ Again? ~ Who's Mags? Is that
your wife? ~ Ex-wife. She uses him.

334
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,070
She doesn't use me. I want to help.

335
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,750
~ Why can't the Pizza Hut manager
take them? ~ I like doing it.

336
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,350
Bollocks, mate.
You want to forget her, otherwise

337
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,670
she'll keep on taking the piss.
Move on.

338
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,230
Cheers for the advice, mate,
that I neither asked for nor wanted.

339
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,070
Mind your own bloody business.

340
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,910
~ What about you, Andy? Have you got
a wife? ~ Me? No, no. I'm not married.

341
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,590
BELL RINGS

342
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,270
~ Shall I get us another one in?
~ It's my round. Same again? ~ Um...

343
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,830
No, I'd better get going.
Early start in the morning.

344
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,560
That's got to be a first!
Student gets up early!

345
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,230
Oh, funny(!)

346
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,360
We're going to call it a night too,
aren't we, darling?

347
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,310
Ah. Tango class in the morning.

348
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:36,150
~ No, it's tap tomorrow, Terry.
~ Course! It's Wednesday! Ha-ha!

349
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,590
~ Bye, all. ~ Night-night. ~ See you.

350
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,800
~ After you, madam. ~ Thank you.

351
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,550
What was that about?

352
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,750
~ What? ~ You know what.

353
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,830
~ What? ~ Why didn't you mention Becky
when she asked if you were married?

354
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,230
I'm not married.

355
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,150
No, but you've got a long-term
girlfriend called Becky.

356
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,070
~ Who I was about to mention and I was
interrupted, remember? ~ Oh, right.

357
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,520
Yeah.

358
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,710
What were you
saying before they left?

359
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:10,550
~ Your ex-wife taking the piss? ~ No.
Something about "same again".

360
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,320
~ Same again? ~ Yeah, thanks very much.

361
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,230
~ You do. ~ I don't. ~ You do. You always
mention what she's wearing.

362
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,190
That's because I don't like what
she's wearing.

363
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,590
You say it every time
she comes on the telly.

364
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,710
I never like what she's wearing.

365
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,710
~ I don't fancy Fiona Bruce.
~ Yes, you do!

366
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,590
No, I don't. I tried once.

367
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,550
Thought she'd be a good
person off the TV to fancy,

368
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,270
but I couldn't manage it,
didn't get very far.

369
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,830
~ Who do you fancy off the telly?
~ No-one springs to mind. ~ Bullshit!

370
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,910
~ There must be someone.
~ No, I can't think of anyone.

371
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:52,390
~ Susanna Reid! ~ No.
You're the only one for me, Becks.

372
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,830
Idiot.

373
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,510
You still on for going
to my sister's tomorrow?

374
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,590
~ Oh, I'm going out with Lance.
~ Oh, what? ~ Sorry, I forgot.

375
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,870
~ Jesus! You spend more time with him
than you do with me! ~ No, I don't.

376
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,470
~ What time are you going? ~ For lunch!

377
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,270
Oh, we'll probably be
finished by then anyway. We're just

378
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,310
~ going to see some mad landowner,
try and get his permission. ~ Right,

379
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:15,430
and if he gives you permission,
you'll want to go detecting.

380
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,480
~ True. ~ Have to hope he doesn't, then.
~ Fingers crossed.

381
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,870
Oh, can we switch over?
She's starting to make me feel sick!

382
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,560
SHE CHUCKLES

383
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,110
~ QI? ~ Yes!

384
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:35,510
~ Did you hear that on QI last night?
~ Oh, I knew it before it was on QI.

385
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:36,990
Right.

386
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,910
It was just a coincidence that you
said it the day after it was on QI.

387
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960
Just reminded me of it, that's all.

388
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,470
Here we are.

389
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,070
You think this is wise?

390
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:54,590
Tell you what, let me do the talking.
I'll turn on the charm.

391
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,710
You're just a bit...awkward.

392
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,030
Yeah, cheers.

393
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,920
Don't try
any of your stand-up on him.

394
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,990
KNOCKS ON DOOR

395
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,510
FROM INSIDE: Get back! Go on!
Get back in there!

396
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,360
Get down! Stay back in there!

397
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,240
~ Yes? ~ Sorry to disturb you, sir.
~ Have you come about the...?

398
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,150
~ The? ~ The...

399
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,920
What have you come about?

400
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,070
~ No, you're not actually
expecting us. ~ Am I not?

401
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,870
No, we're actually metal
detectorists.

402
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,630
We were wondering if you'd give us

403
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,430
~ your permission to
detect on your land. ~ Good Lord!

404
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,710
~ Was it a competition? ~ Pardon?
~ Did I send off for it?

405
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,630
No. I guess it's just your lucky day.

406
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,550
Fascinating.

407
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,160
Cup of tea?

408
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,230
Don't mind the dogs.

409
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,550
They're a bit boisterous,
but they're only being friendly.

410
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,790
Push them off the sofa
if they're in the way.

411
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,160
They shouldn't even
be on the furniture.

412
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,800
FLY BUZZES

413
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,510
~ So... Mr Bishop... ~ Larry, please.

414
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,480
~ Larry, you've never given anyone
permission before. ~ No, never.

415
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,390
~ So, no-one's ever
detected on this land? ~ No.

416
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,480
There was that dig years ago.

417
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:43,670
~ Sorry. Dig, Larry?
~ Archaeological dig, before the war.

418
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,200
My grandfather told me about it
when I was wearing short trousers.

419
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,670
When I was a child.

420
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,110
~ Yes. ~ Yes, and did they f-find
anything? ~ No. They didn't have time.

421
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,870
Dug a couple of trenches,
then the war happened,

422
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,830
and they had more important things
to spend the money on.

423
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,150
Any idea what they were looking for?

424
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,190
No idea.

425
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,070
So, Larry, er...

426
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:12,710
~ would you mind if we had a little
look around? ~ Not at all.

427
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,430
Let me know what you turn up.

428
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,110
Stay out of the paddock
on Birchwood Road.

429
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,840
Don't go digging down there.

430
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,510
FLY BUZZES

431
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,400
~ Okey-doke. ~ Right, will do.
We'll stay out of there.

432
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,750
Anyone seen my phone?

433
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,720
Bloody dogs have hidden it,
have they?

434
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,190
Have one of you beasts
stolen my telephone?

435
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,390
Come back here, you little shitters!
Come on! Come on! Come here!

436
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,590
Come on, I know your game.

437
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,520
Come on.

438
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,150
This is it, mate.
This is the big one.

439
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,030
This is exactly what
happened at Sutton Hoo.

440
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,750
They abandoned it because of the war,
then they went back to finish it off.

441
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,590
They sort of left it all to us.

442
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,070
This time next year,
we're going to be millionaires!

443
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,990
Mate,
maybe we should do this properly -

444
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,150
mark out the site with a grid
system, do it area by area,

445
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,030
~ make sure we cover everything.
~ Sod that! Let's get detecting!

446
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,670
We should survey the site
for a couple of days before we even

447
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,070
~ turn the detectors on.
~ DETECTOR BEEPS
Oh, too late. I turned it on!

448
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,430
I've got a good feeling
about this, mate.

449
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,870
When they were looking for Richard
III, first hole they dug, bingo!

450
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,830
~ Fuck it! You're right. ~ This is going
to be massive. You mark my words.

451
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,160
DETECTOR BEEPS

452
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,880
Here we go.

453
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,430
Get ready...

454
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,320
to get rich.

455
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,720
BEEPS

456
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,640
What you got?

457
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,670
Biscuit wrapper.

458
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,560
Mint Viscount '75.