Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com
Hey! What are you doing?
Looking for my phone.
Perhaps you haven't heard, I'm bionic now.
Put that down and be...
Gentle!
Look, I know that bionic arm is fun,
but you can't just use it whenever you want.
Oh, but it's okay when you need a pickle jar opened?
That was an emergency.
You can't have a tuna sandwich without a nice kosher dill.
Having that arm is a huge responsibility, which I thought you could handle.
We finally got the government on our side.
Do you know what would happen
if they found out there was a fourth bionic kid?
It'd be an even number.
I imagine they'd be happy.
Or they would take you away and lock me up.
And I can't go back to prison.
There was a farewell party, I gave a speech and it'd just be awkward.
Okay, I get it.
I'll only use my arm when it's absolutely necessary.
Good.
(Fly buzzing)
You know, technically that was the fly's fault.
Announcer: The world's first bionic super humans,
they're stronger than us, faster, smarter.
The next generation of the human race is...
Living in my basement?
(Students chattering)
(Clears throat)
Students of mission creek, please welcome your bionic super humans!
(Cheers and applause)
And our trusty little mascot Chase.
Now that I'm in charge of the bionic team,
I'm gonna be taking them to a whole new level.
Believe me, you're going to be seeing a lot more of us.
Wow, this is amazing.
It's like we're celebrities.
We are.
And this is just the beginning.
I can't believe that people are so shallow,
they only like us because we're bionic.
This is awesome!
There you go.
One autographed forehead for Pam.
Hey, Janelle.
Hi, Leo.
Oh, hey, Adam!
Can you help me with my science fair project?
Probably not, but I'll give it a shot.
My project is about you.
Him?
Why him?
Because his bionics are the most impressive.
Can you tell me how they work?
Uh, yeah, I have a bionic chip in the back of my neck
that lets me do stuff, uh, bionically.
I was kind of hoping for a more detailed explanation.
I was, too.
(School bell ringing)
You know, I'm more of a visual explainer, so maybe we can meet up after school
and I can use my eyes to blow stuff up.
Awesome. Cool.
I'm gonna show you something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.
A calculator watch?
No, not that.
I have bionics!
You?
Really?
Yes, me.
I have a bionic arm.
Behold!
Ha!
Okay. It probably just needs to warm up.
Okay.
Ha!
Dah!
That's adorable, Leo.
I'd love to stick around, but I have to super speed off to class.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
No, don't get up. I got it.
What's so funny?
Oh, nothing.
Agent Graham said the most amazing piece of technology
in the whole lab is your hair.
Ha-ha. Hysterical.
You're 15 minutes late for training.
Actually, their training's been put on hold until further notice.
Didn't you read the memo?
Oh, that's right.
You're not on the memo list.
They need their training to maintain their bionics,
not to mention their missions...
yes, but right now the most important mission is getting our faces out there.
That's why we're going on an international press tour.
Wait, no training and we get to travel?
Oh, can we go to Paris?
Only after we go to London.
Yes!
Look, I know we kind of got off on the wrong foot
with the whole "me arresting you" thing.
Hey, just tell me we're going to des moines and all is forgiven.
Then I guess we're going to des moines.
Yes! I love being owned by the government.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guys, this is completely irresponsible.
Mr. Davenport, we've been training our whole lives.
Don't we deserve just a little bit of fun?
I think you do.
I also think you deserve a little thanks for all you've done for mankind.
Don't you agree, Mr. Davenport?
Yes, of course, I do.
But, Chase, tell him how important training is.
Well, Mr. Davenport does have a point.
I can show you where they keep Einstein's brain.
Training schmaning.
Go pack your gear.
Wheels up to New York in 15 minutes.
Ah, New York.
The des moines of the east.
This is insane.
You're not qualified to lead them.
You don't even understand how their bionic infrastructure works.
And I really don't care.
How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my way?
Fine, I get it.
You're in charge.
But I'm not gonna stop being involved in their lives.
Oh, don't worry.
There's still plenty for you to do.
We'll call you our mission specialist.
Mission specialist?
That's like being an intern.
I mean, Leo is our mission specialist.
Then you can be his assistant.
And since he's not here right now,
you have the honor of going on a smoothie run.
Seriously?
I'm a world renowned scientist and you're gonna send me on a smoothie run?
You're right.
That was inappropriate.
You better clear it with your supervisor Leo.
Douglas, something's wrong with my bionics.
They're not working.
I know. I turned them off.
You what?
Turn them back on or you will lead a sad pickle-free existence.
When I implanted your bionics, I installed a remote deactivation feature
so I can make sure you don't get into any trouble.
But I promised you I wouldn't use them.
You didn't trust me.
Did you use them?
Don't you change the subject!
Look, I didn't take them away.
I just deactivated them.
Think of it as bionic training wheels.
I will take them off when you have proven
you can responsibly ride your bionic...
Arm bike.
That was more painful than the accident that destroyed my arm.
Bottom line, from now on I control your bionics.
Bottom line?
Oh, no, you don't.
Oh, hey, Mr. Davenport.
(Clears throat)
What happened to you?
Where have you been? I've been calling for hours.
I didn't even notice you called.
We've been too busy flying around the country doing meet and greets.
Yeah, we kissed a ton of babies.
Their heads are delicious.
Here it is.
Seventeen missed calls and a text message with a mission alert.
Well, how can we help you yesterday?
I had to go by myself.
Oh, that's terrible.
You should've called us.
Ah, good news, team.
This weekend we're off to Paris.
All right.
Enough with the press tour.
They have important work to do.
Because of you they missed a mission and people got hurt.
Well, that's unfortunate, but they have other priorities right now.
Oh, so getting your faces in front of the camera is
more important than saving lives.
We didn't say that.
It's just things have changed.
Well, I'm glad we had 16 years of bionic training
so you could do the weather for am San Diego.
That's tomorrow.
You know what?
I'm really disappointed in you guys.
All our hard work and all you care about is being famous.
Mr. Davenport...
you know what? Save it.
I thought you guys were heroes...
But I guess I was wrong.
Wow.
Are we really doing am San Diego tomorrow?
Wow, we really messed up.
I know.
We got so caught up in our own hype
that we completely lost sight of who we are.
I can't stop tasting baby shampoo.
There's my bionic team.
Agent Graham, we need to talk.
We're done with your press tour. Okay?
We're going back to training and focusing on missions.
Excuse me?
Mr. Davenport was right.
People need us.
Well, unfortunately, he's not the boss anymore.
I am.
Why are you still so caught up in this?
You already got your promotion.
At first, it was about the promotion, but now that the world loves you,
there is no limit to how far I can take this.
Well, we're done with your dog and pony show.
Well, hold on.
Nobody said anything about dogs and ponies.
Look, I don't have time for this.
The white house called this morning.
The president is making a special trip to meet you.
Wait, the president is coming here?
Today?
Yes.
And if you don't show him that things are running smoothly,
I will make sure you end up in a warehouse sitting in cages
like the circus freaks you are.
Any questions?
Yes.
Will there be dogs and/or ponies at said warehouse?
Hey, Janelle. Need any help?
Sure, can you put this over there for me?
I can think of a few places I'd like to put this.
But why do you need a fake bionic man
when you have the real thing standing right in front of you?
This again?
Leo, I'm really busy.
I don't have time to talk about your make-believe bionic arm.
Okay.
Well, I've got something that'll make you believe.
Did you just...
Shoot a laser sphere out of my hand?
Yes, yes, I did.
Wow!
You really are bionic.
I told you.
Hey, check it out, rapid fire.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!
Janelle, look out!
(Bell ringing)
Are you okay?
Do I look okay?
Well, you look fine now.
It's the next few minutes I'm worried about.
I don't care if the president is coming.
I don't want any part of it.
Yeah, well, you were demoted so you don't have a say.
He's here.
Everyone in position.
Mr. President, welcome to the home
of the world's first bionic superhumans.
It's an honor to meet you, Mr. President.
I'm Chase...
good tidings, my lordship.
You must be Adam.
And you must be disappointed.
I'm Bree.
Very nice to meet you.
I just wanted to thank you for all the lives you've saved.
It was our honor, sir.
Okay, team, it's time to show our commander-in-chief how your bionics work.
Bree, you're up.
Absolutely, agent Graham.
This is my super speed.
Whoa!
What's the matter with you?
I don't know.
I guess I've spent so much time being a celebrity
instead of training that I can't control my bionics.
Bree, would you stop messing around?
The president is standing right there.
I know the president is standing right there.
Ahh.
(Clears throat)
Sorry about that, sir.
Mr. President, how about I demonstrate my molecular kinesis?
Sure.
Oopsie.
Graham, what is going on?
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
Adam, why don't you show the president that thing you do with your breath?
Oh.
Not that.
The big force thing.
Oh. You mean this?
Okay, that's enough.
Okay, that's enough!
His bionic breath must be stuck.
Davenport, do something!
Oh, look who finally needs my help.
Don't worry, Mr. President.
I'm sure one of these buttons will take care of everything.
No, no, no!
(Screaming)
Uh-oh.
President: Get me out of here!
Nice going, Graham.
That's one way to get noticed by your boss.
Smoothie?
(Alarm ringing)
Don't worry, Janelle.
I'll save you.
That's why I'm worried.
Cover your face.
You can stop spraying.
The fire is out.
I know, I was trying to extinguish your rage.
You know, someday we're gonna look back on this.
And I'll still be angry.
What just happened?
I'm sorry.
I just want you to like me as much as you like Adam.
Leo, I like you more than I like him,
which is strange because you're always trying to kill me.
Yeah.
It's not funny yet.
I'm gonna go hose off.
Hey!
You swiped my remote!
Uh-oh.
Did you do this?
See, this is why I can't trust you with your bionics.
I'm sorry, I had to use them.
When Janelle kept talking about Adam
I got jealous, so...
oh, I get it.
This was all about a girl.
You were afraid you were gonna lose her.
Oh, I've been there.
You have?
Not really.
Ladies love me.
So I guess you're going to turn off my bionics permanently now.
Tell you what, as soon as you clean up this mess, I'll start training you
on how to use your bionics properly.
Really?
Yeah.
I can't expect you to know how to drive a car
when your bionic arm bike still has the kickstand on.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, one more thing.
Would you please?
I haven't eaten all day.
So, uh, Mr. President, anything else you'd like to see?
Yes.
Your qualifications for this job.
Call Washington, have them send a replacement for this clown immediately.
What? No.
Mr. President, we have a replacement.
Him.
The smoothie guy?
He is not the smoothie guy.
He's our father and our real leader.
Agent Graham doesn't care about our missions or helping people.
He just wants to make money off of us.
Is this true?
Sir, with all due respect, we can't let a civilian control
the world's most powerful weapons.
Weapons?
They're not weapons.
They're his children.
You're done, Graham.
Get him out of here.
But, Mr. President... wait.
I just want you to know, we'll always have Des Moines.
Mr. Davenport, the government owes you an apology.
We had no right to come between you and your family.
And, Mr. President, we owe you an apology, too.
Our bionics didn't really glitch.
We just had to expose Graham
and show you that he wasn't qualified to lead us.
I figured something was up.
I've seen the footage of your abilities.
They're quite impressive.
Listen, if you can keep me briefed, I see no reason
why you shouldn't resume control here.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Yeah.
Oh, before I leave, I need to do one more thing.
Bam!
Bionic selfie.
It's for my daughter.
Okay, Leo, this is the expert training target.
You'll be lucky to even make contact.
Triple bulls-eye?
You were saying?
Wow.
Good job.
A few more weeks I just might feel comfortable enough
to take off your training wheels.
A few weeks?
You have to be cautious.
You never know when you'll accidentally lose control again.
You're right, Douglas. Yeah.
An accident can happen at any moment.
Ah!
Oops.