1
00:00:08,545 --> 00:00:10,746
Hey there, buddy. To what
do I owe the intrusion?

2
00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:13,149
You got a big homework project?

3
00:00:13,183 --> 00:00:14,450
Not homework.

4
00:00:14,484 --> 00:00:16,018
I'm on a top-secret mission.

5
00:00:16,053 --> 00:00:18,688
My target? Shea Garcia-Miller.

6
00:00:18,722 --> 00:00:21,824
My goal? Conversation.

7
00:00:21,858 --> 00:00:23,125
At first.

8
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,727
Then possibly marriage, or you know,

9
00:00:24,761 --> 00:00:26,629
just a committed
partnership between equals.

10
00:00:26,663 --> 00:00:29,165
Okay, back up here. This is the Shea

11
00:00:29,199 --> 00:00:31,400
at you are forbidden to see?

12
00:00:31,435 --> 00:00:32,635
The very same.

13
00:00:32,669 --> 00:00:34,303
Am I to understand that you are

14
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,706
directly disobeying your mother?

15
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:39,075
Is my little Marcus becoming a bad boy?

16
00:00:39,109 --> 00:00:41,043
Nope, still a proud mama's boy.

17
00:00:41,078 --> 00:00:43,679
I'm getting around mom on a technicality.

18
00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:47,383
You see, she forbade me to
see Shea outside of school.

19
00:00:47,417 --> 00:00:51,087
So nothing is stopping me from
"accidentally" running into her

20
00:00:51,121 --> 00:00:52,321
<i>in school.</i>

21
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:55,157
Nothing but the laws of
physics, and my own significant

22
00:00:55,192 --> 00:00:56,626
physical limitations.

23
00:00:56,660 --> 00:01:00,296
Is Shea, uh, showing any signs,

24
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:03,933
any indication that she likes you back?

25
00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:08,104
Okay, Will, I am up to
my beanie in indication.

26
00:01:08,138 --> 00:01:11,874
I've gotten three... count
'em... Three texts from her,

27
00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:14,510
ranging from casual, like "what's up?"

28
00:01:14,545 --> 00:01:16,078
- Really?
- To the more intimate:

29
00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:17,380
"Hey."

30
00:01:17,414 --> 00:01:19,649
- What?
- And in between P.E.

31
00:01:19,683 --> 00:01:22,185
- and lunch yesterday?
- Mmhmm?

32
00:01:22,219 --> 00:01:23,619
I got shoulder.

33
00:01:23,654 --> 00:01:26,055
I mean, it was over the jacket, but still.

34
00:01:26,089 --> 00:01:27,423
Hmm. Yeah.

35
00:01:27,457 --> 00:01:30,726
Listen, as your ambiguously,
you know, paternal figure,

36
00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:32,828
I gotta tell you that this Shea, so far,

37
00:01:32,863 --> 00:01:34,530
has been nothing but bad news.

38
00:01:34,564 --> 00:01:36,599
But as your friend, I'm all for it.

39
00:01:42,339 --> 00:01:43,673
Ah, hello.

40
00:01:43,707 --> 00:01:45,808
- Are you Will Freeman?
- Depends on who's asking.

41
00:01:45,842 --> 00:01:47,210
But if it's you, then...

42
00:01:47,244 --> 00:01:49,212
Then yes, yes, I am.

43
00:01:49,246 --> 00:01:51,247
- You've been served.
- Ooh.

44
00:01:51,281 --> 00:01:54,417
What exactly are you serving?

45
00:01:54,451 --> 00:01:55,718
Someone's suing you.

46
00:01:55,752 --> 00:01:57,720
Jackass.

47
00:02:00,791 --> 00:02:02,992
Did you get any shoulder?

48
00:02:03,026 --> 00:02:04,460
Here we go.

49
00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:35,024
I am being sued, dude.

50
00:02:35,058 --> 00:02:36,792
Someone named Anastasia Campbell

51
00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:39,028
<i>is claiming that she
co-wrote Runaway Sleigh.</i>

52
00:02:39,062 --> 00:02:41,731
I don't even know who
Anastasia Campbell is,

53
00:02:41,765 --> 00:02:43,799
except some crazy person
who's trying to steal my money.

54
00:02:43,834 --> 00:02:45,568
This is serious, man.

55
00:02:45,602 --> 00:02:48,170
This song is my endless buffet of cash.

56
00:02:48,205 --> 00:02:49,705
Which begs the question,

57
00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,607
why didn't anyone tell
me how serious this was?

58
00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:52,842
Didn't they?

59
00:02:52,876 --> 00:02:54,610
I feel like Richard was
telling you this for months.

60
00:02:54,645 --> 00:02:56,979
"This is a huge, serious
problem," that's a quote.

61
00:02:57,014 --> 00:02:59,181
Well, my problems always
go away, you know that.

62
00:02:59,216 --> 00:03:01,984
I'm teflon, nothing sticks.

63
00:03:02,019 --> 00:03:03,019
God, I hate you.

64
00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:04,287
Everything sticks to me. I'm like velcro.

65
00:03:04,321 --> 00:03:05,621
You know what? I gotta get a lawyer.

66
00:03:05,656 --> 00:03:07,356
You have a lawyer! She's super hot.

67
00:03:07,391 --> 00:03:08,491
- The one with the...
- I slept with her.

68
00:03:08,525 --> 00:03:10,026
You know that. It got awkward.

69
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:12,328
I need a lawyer that I'm
not tempted to sleep with.

70
00:03:12,362 --> 00:03:14,463
Laurie is a lawyer. We
keep telling you this.

71
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,965
That is perfect.

72
00:03:15,999 --> 00:03:17,567
I wouldn't sleep with Laurie if she were

73
00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:20,803
the last female on a scorched planet earth.

74
00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:22,672
What?

75
00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:26,142
Because she's married to my best friend.

76
00:03:26,176 --> 00:03:27,710
Otherwise...

77
00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:29,946
Yeah.

78
00:03:32,149 --> 00:03:34,417
- Are we sure she works here?
- Yes.

79
00:03:34,451 --> 00:03:36,085
According to Google,
there's an Anastasia Campbell

80
00:03:36,119 --> 00:03:38,888
who's a pilates instructor here.

81
00:03:38,922 --> 00:03:39,889
I don't know, dude,

82
00:03:39,923 --> 00:03:43,159
I see a lot of toned bodies.

83
00:03:43,193 --> 00:03:44,493
What?

84
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,561
Stalker Stacey!

85
00:03:45,596 --> 00:03:47,363
- Who? Where? Where?
- Get back here!

86
00:03:47,397 --> 00:03:50,500
Stalker Stacey! Don't you remember?

87
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,101
The cute groupie I had
mind-blowing sex with,

88
00:03:52,135 --> 00:03:54,370
and then she got all crazy
and wouldn't leave me alone?

89
00:03:54,404 --> 00:03:55,838
- That Stacey?
- Yes, dude!

90
00:03:55,873 --> 00:03:57,173
Oh, my gosh! The one with the dance?

91
00:03:57,207 --> 00:03:59,175
Yeah! It was...

92
00:03:59,209 --> 00:04:00,710
Yeah. Oh, my God.

93
00:04:00,744 --> 00:04:04,347
I tried to... I tried to let her down easy.

94
00:04:04,381 --> 00:04:06,849
"Stacey" must be short for Anastasia...

95
00:04:06,884 --> 00:04:08,618
Which is a beautiful name, actually.

96
00:04:08,652 --> 00:04:10,586
Laurie and I should put
that on the baby name list.

97
00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:11,787
Oh, my God.

98
00:04:11,822 --> 00:04:13,689
Will! Will! Will's gone.

99
00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:15,158
Everyone, get into the down stretch.

100
00:04:15,192 --> 00:04:16,826
Can I help you?

101
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:18,861
- Oh...
- Are you here to take a class,

102
00:04:18,896 --> 00:04:20,463
or are you just one of those
creeps who likes to come in

103
00:04:20,497 --> 00:04:22,098
and look at butts?

104
00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:25,201
Well, I'm more of a boob man.

105
00:04:25,235 --> 00:04:27,136
Do I know you?

106
00:05:03,907 --> 00:05:06,142
Oh!

107
00:05:06,176 --> 00:05:07,343
Oh, gosh.

108
00:05:07,377 --> 00:05:10,346
My teacher evaluations!

109
00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,482
I just finished alphabetizing them!

110
00:05:12,516 --> 00:05:14,851
And now they are scattered to the wind!

111
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,253
Okay, okay, let me help here, Principal G.

112
00:05:17,287 --> 00:05:19,155
Oh, Marcus...

113
00:05:19,189 --> 00:05:22,758
What has gotten into you of late?

114
00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:24,393
Yeah, I've never seen you roam the halls

115
00:05:24,428 --> 00:05:26,229
with such reckless abandon.

116
00:05:32,536 --> 00:05:34,103
Hey, uh, Fiona, you got a minute?

117
00:05:34,137 --> 00:05:36,472
Yeah, I'm just doing some doula research.

118
00:05:36,506 --> 00:05:38,207
Look at this amazing woman in the Amazon.

119
00:05:38,242 --> 00:05:42,211
She's using gravity to
help the birthing process.

120
00:05:42,246 --> 00:05:43,713
Oh! Oh! Oh!

121
00:05:43,747 --> 00:05:46,115
Oh! Oh! Fiona, please!

122
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,350
I can't unsee that!

123
00:05:47,384 --> 00:05:49,218
Can you just stop for one second

124
00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:50,887
with the rainforest porn?

125
00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:53,456
But it's natural! That is a vagina!

126
00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:56,893
Oh! That is not what vaginas are for!

127
00:05:56,927 --> 00:06:01,330
Now, I actually... I
need some advice, please.

128
00:06:01,365 --> 00:06:02,865
I have a stalker.

129
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,634
- Do you?
- Yes.

130
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,235
And I'm hoping that your crazy

131
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:08,037
can shed some light on her crazy.

132
00:06:08,071 --> 00:06:11,073
Offended...But quite curious. Carry on.

133
00:06:11,108 --> 00:06:14,544
I thought I'd gotten rid of
stalker Stacey a long time ago,

134
00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:16,846
but all of a sudden, she turns up,

135
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,514
and out of nowhere,

136
00:06:18,549 --> 00:06:20,583
slaps this ridiculous lawsuit on me.

137
00:06:20,617 --> 00:06:22,151
- A lawsuit?
- Mm-hmm.

138
00:06:22,186 --> 00:06:23,252
Blimey, that's a bit unpleasant.

139
00:06:23,287 --> 00:06:24,921
- Right, so...
- Oh, wait.

140
00:06:24,955 --> 00:06:26,222
Did you say her name was Stacey?

141
00:06:26,256 --> 00:06:27,490
Yes. Why?

142
00:06:27,524 --> 00:06:29,225
A few months ago when you were in New York,

143
00:06:29,259 --> 00:06:33,763
I came home one day and there
was a girl banging on your door.

144
00:06:33,797 --> 00:06:36,032
She was in a rather desperate ensemble.

145
00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:37,200
- Go on.
- Well, no.

146
00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:38,734
I just remember 'cause her name was Stacey.

147
00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:39,735
Do you know if Will's home?

148
00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,237
Oh, no, he doesn't live here.

149
00:06:41,271 --> 00:06:43,339
He's, uh... he moved to New
York with his girlfriend.

150
00:06:43,373 --> 00:06:45,141
- He has a girlfriend?
- Yeah, yeah.

151
00:06:45,175 --> 00:06:47,577
- Doctor Sam.
- Really?

152
00:06:47,611 --> 00:06:51,114
And then she got very, very, very upset.

153
00:06:51,148 --> 00:06:55,284
And so I offered her, you know,
a few words of encouragement.

154
00:06:55,319 --> 00:06:58,955
Stacey, you seem like a vibrant,

155
00:06:58,989 --> 00:07:01,424
very attractive young woman.

156
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,359
You don't need to settle

157
00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:07,196
<i>for the crumbs that Will Freeman threw you.</i>

158
00:07:07,231 --> 00:07:09,699
You need to value
yourself higher, don't you?

159
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,334
- Yes.
- Yeah.

160
00:07:11,368 --> 00:07:14,637
Yeah, you deserve much, much more.

161
00:07:14,671 --> 00:07:16,706
She deserves much, much more?

162
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,508
More than you. Much more than you.

163
00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:20,543
- You. You did this.
- Did what?

164
00:07:20,577 --> 00:07:22,812
This lawsuit is your fault.

165
00:07:22,846 --> 00:07:25,481
No, it's not! I did...
I just gave her advice!

166
00:07:25,516 --> 00:07:29,285
You told her point blank
to go after my money!

167
00:07:29,319 --> 00:07:31,454
You...

168
00:07:31,488 --> 00:07:33,055
Scratched my teflon.

169
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:35,324
It was you.

170
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:40,763
And you are going to fix this.

171
00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:42,999
Fix this right now!

172
00:07:47,035 --> 00:07:48,789
I really noticed you engaging
your core more than ever.

173
00:07:50,325 --> 00:07:52,059
Stacey?

174
00:07:52,093 --> 00:07:54,462
Hi, you probably don't remember me.

175
00:07:54,496 --> 00:07:56,363
- Fiona!
- Whoa!

176
00:07:56,398 --> 00:07:58,632
- Strong little thing, aren't you?
- Oh, my God!

177
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,301
Of course I remember you.

178
00:08:00,335 --> 00:08:01,402
- Oh!
- Are you kidding me?

179
00:08:01,436 --> 00:08:03,170
How could I forget the woman who literally

180
00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:04,672
changed the course of my life?

181
00:08:04,706 --> 00:08:07,141
- Did I? Did I?
- You did.

182
00:08:07,175 --> 00:08:10,161
I mean, you are such a wise woman.

183
00:08:10,173 --> 00:08:11,674
Oh, that's very kind of you.

184
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,276
I mean, really I'm just, you know,

185
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:15,177
a conduit for the wisdom of others.

186
00:08:15,212 --> 00:08:17,546
You're so modest. No,
literally, because of you,

187
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,750
I have completely changed
the course of my life.

188
00:08:20,784 --> 00:08:23,519
I mean, I'm no longer
looking for mindless hookups.

189
00:08:23,554 --> 00:08:25,021
- Thank God.
- Good.

190
00:08:25,055 --> 00:08:27,790
And I'm just focusing
on what I really deserve.

191
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:28,758
Aw...

192
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:30,660
- Money.
- Oh.

193
00:08:30,694 --> 00:08:33,129
And you helped me see that.

194
00:08:33,163 --> 00:08:36,632
Well, if I could offer up
another piece of wisdom?

195
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:37,867
- Sure.
- Um...

196
00:08:37,901 --> 00:08:42,371
When I said that I
thought you deserved more,

197
00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:45,408
I meant emotionally.

198
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,643
- Emotionally?
- Yeah, emotionally.

199
00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:49,378
Not financially.

200
00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:52,081
You see, when I said you
should value yourself more,

201
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,316
that's what I meant.

202
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:55,952
Emotionally, and not financially.

203
00:08:55,986 --> 00:08:57,053
Yeah, you see that?

204
00:08:57,087 --> 00:08:59,055
Now you're getting it. Well done, you!

205
00:08:59,089 --> 00:09:00,990
I get it.

206
00:09:01,024 --> 00:09:04,560
You're here because Will
sent you, aren't you?

207
00:09:04,595 --> 00:09:07,430
You are here to talk me out of the lawsuit.

208
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,365
Well, and to do a bit of pilates.

209
00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:12,034
Stiff neck.

210
00:09:12,069 --> 00:09:14,904
Arms in the straps, everyone, please.

211
00:09:14,938 --> 00:09:17,240
Um, we're gonna start
class on our backs today.

212
00:09:17,274 --> 00:09:20,076
It's gonna be a very, very intense class.

213
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:22,178
Remember to breathe.

214
00:09:22,212 --> 00:09:25,481
Okay, thank you for seeing
me on such short notice.

215
00:09:25,515 --> 00:09:26,782
Of course.

216
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,385
My helpless victims of
wrongful eviction can wait.

217
00:09:29,419 --> 00:09:31,520
Way more important to help you
deal with the groupie gone wild.

218
00:09:31,555 --> 00:09:32,655
Get off my desk.

219
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:35,258
Okay, hostile vibe, I'm feeling it.

220
00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:36,792
Okay? Registered.

221
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,060
But I just want you to
take a quick look at this

222
00:09:38,095 --> 00:09:41,764
and tell me that this
Stacey is just a wack-a-doo

223
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,232
with, uh, you know, no real case.

224
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:46,135
Is this wack-a-doo
a former lover?

225
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,770
I wouldn't say "lover."

226
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:51,440
I mean, we had a,
roughly, eight-night stand

227
00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:53,442
back when I wrote my platinum hit single.

228
00:09:53,477 --> 00:09:54,644
You better hope this doesn't go to trial.

229
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,245
- Get off my desk.
- Okay, listen.

230
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,780
I'm not saying I was
a gentleman, all right?

231
00:09:57,815 --> 00:09:59,882
Gentleman?  I've
defended serial killers

232
00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:01,350
that were more sympathetic than you.

233
00:10:01,385 --> 00:10:03,552
Fine. I admit it, okay? I admit it.

234
00:10:03,587 --> 00:10:04,987
I was a bit of a lady-killer back then.

235
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,757
But I promise you that she
had nothing, and I repeat,

236
00:10:07,791 --> 00:10:09,659
nothing to do with writing this song.

237
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,694
So I just need you to tell me that this

238
00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:14,430
is much ado about nothing,
that it's just a drawing

239
00:10:14,464 --> 00:10:15,865
in the sand that'll be, you know,

240
00:10:15,899 --> 00:10:17,867
washed away with the tide.

241
00:10:17,901 --> 00:10:19,869
Do you even hear the steaming crap

242
00:10:19,903 --> 00:10:21,470
that just falls out of your mouth?

243
00:10:21,505 --> 00:10:22,738
That was a solid metaphor.

244
00:10:22,773 --> 00:10:25,608
Okay, get off my desk! Sit in the chair.

245
00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:27,009
Okay, you know what?

246
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,179
Your bedside manner needs
some serious attention.

247
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:31,881
It doesn't matter
how wack-a-doo,

248
00:10:31,915 --> 00:10:34,450
or to use an adult
word, meritless her case.

249
00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:36,252
This thing could still drag on for years.

250
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:38,254
- Years? What?
- Oh!

251
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:40,523
She's not just looking for future checks.

252
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,924
She wants back royalties.

253
00:10:41,959 --> 00:10:43,893
- This girl means business.
- Back royalties?

254
00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,428
She can't do that. That's not fair.

255
00:10:45,462 --> 00:10:47,063
You think our legal system is fair?

256
00:10:47,097 --> 00:10:50,933
You're lucky you have good hair,
because you are the dumbest...

257
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:53,136
<i>Just dumbest...</i>

258
00:10:53,170 --> 00:10:55,271
- Individual I have ever met!
- Can you just stop obsessing

259
00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:59,976
about my hair for one second
and just tell me what to do?

260
00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:03,112
The best thing you can
do right now is nothing.

261
00:11:03,147 --> 00:11:04,714
Do not reach out to this woman.

262
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,616
No contact. Zero.

263
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:12,054
Just try to keep going,
even if it's so tough

264
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:14,357
that you feel like you might fall apart.

265
00:11:14,391 --> 00:11:15,992
Try to keep breathing,

266
00:11:16,026 --> 00:11:18,527
try to keep finding the strength inside.

267
00:11:18,562 --> 00:11:21,030
Keep breathing, keep breathing,
yeah, keep working that chest,

268
00:11:21,064 --> 00:11:22,732
open and close, open and close,

269
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,701
but don't open the chest too wide,

270
00:11:25,736 --> 00:11:27,637
because that is how you get hurt,

271
00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:30,973
because that's where your heart is.

272
00:11:31,008 --> 00:11:33,342
Ooh, Stacey.

273
00:11:33,377 --> 00:11:35,511
Stacey, are you all right?

274
00:11:35,546 --> 00:11:37,580
Oh, Stacey.

275
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,515
No, don't close your heart.

276
00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:41,050
Class dismissed.

277
00:12:14,084 --> 00:12:15,117
Hey. Hey.

278
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,954
Hey. My breath is ass.

279
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,722
You have any gum?

280
00:12:19,756 --> 00:12:21,624
Oh, um, maybe.

281
00:12:24,361 --> 00:12:26,128
No.

282
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,544
Too bad.

283
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:34,637
How could you not have any gum?

284
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,440
Ugh! Such an idiot.

285
00:12:40,532 --> 00:12:41,794
You monster!

286
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,162
This doesn't sound promising.

287
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,932
You broke that poor woman's heart!

288
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,300
Poor woman?

289
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,470
She is a parasitic groupie
who is trying to extort me.

290
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,639
Oh, really? Well, that's not
the story that Stacey tells.

291
00:12:52,673 --> 00:12:54,574
You know, perhaps if the blood

292
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,276
that is supposed to feed your brain

293
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:59,312
weren't constantly being
redirected elsewhere,

294
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,347
you would remember things more clearly.

295
00:13:01,382 --> 00:13:03,583
What are you talking about?

296
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:04,984
She was there the night that
you wrote that song, Will.

297
00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:06,019
What?

298
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,388
She nurtured your writing process.

299
00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:10,056
She was... and you know what?

300
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,991
I can completely relate to this...

301
00:13:12,026 --> 00:13:13,459
Your songwriting doula.

302
00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:15,595
Oh, my... any excuse to
bring up the word "doula."

303
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,298
- Any excuse!
- No, not any ex-you know what?

304
00:13:18,332 --> 00:13:20,867
All you had to do was
just say you're sorry.

305
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,969
The only thing that I am sorry for

306
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,405
is sending you in to do the job, okay?

307
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:27,240
From now on I am lawyering up,

308
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,442
and we are settling this thing in court.

309
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,644
Monster.

310
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,514
- Doula.
- That's not even an insult!

311
00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:35,882
That's not even an insult!

312
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:44,390
Hey, Shea. I got you some water.

313
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:46,226
Wait. No, wait!

314
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:01,941
Looking for gum?

315
00:14:01,976 --> 00:14:03,243
'Cause I've got a plethora of options.

316
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:06,245
I got the classics, I've
got Wrigley, Bazooka.

317
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,480
I mean, if you're looking
for something edgier,

318
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,582
I got Winter Mint Extreme.

319
00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:11,918
And I would have to advise
against the watermelon

320
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,454
because it got a little
bit sweaty under my armpits.

321
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:17,290
Dude, stop. Seriously.

322
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,692
Stop being such a creepy little stalker.

323
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:26,299
All I did was monitor all
her movements and activities,

324
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,134
and then devise ways to run into her.

325
00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:31,070
How does that make me creepy?

326
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:33,206
Well, uh...I don't know.

327
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,941
Maybe she needs time to come around to your

328
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,944
enthusiastic, persistent style.

329
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,312
I know I did.

330
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:40,713
I ruined everything.

331
00:14:40,748 --> 00:14:42,548
Man, I'm such an idiot.

332
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:45,084
- You're not an idiot, Marcus.
- I am.

333
00:14:45,119 --> 00:14:46,452
And I'm used to people calling me names,

334
00:14:46,487 --> 00:14:52,191
like dweeb, loser, fart nugget...

335
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:56,462
But when Shea called me a stalker...

336
00:14:56,497 --> 00:14:58,631
Will, you don't have
any idea what it's like

337
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:03,369
to have someone you care about
make you feel like a monster.

338
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:10,443
Stacey.

339
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,478
Hi. Uh...

340
00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:14,314
You're looking... You're looking wel...

341
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,949
You're looking very, very healthy.

342
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,917
What can I do for you, Will?

343
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:21,788
Uh, well, I was...

344
00:15:21,822 --> 00:15:25,758
Hoping that we could...Talk.

345
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,427
Hmm. Well, let me think about it.

346
00:15:27,461 --> 00:15:30,597
Um, no, I'm not interested
in talking, okay?

347
00:15:30,631 --> 00:15:33,366
All you're gonna do is try
to tell me to drop my lawsuit,

348
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,868
and I'm not interested
in dropping my lawsuit.

349
00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:37,270
I wasn't gonna tell you to do that.

350
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,338
I... really, I just...

351
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,607
I would like to talk, just you and me.

352
00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:42,909
You know what, this isn't
a therapist's office, Will.

353
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,044
This is a pilates studio.

354
00:15:45,079 --> 00:15:48,314
So if you want to talk,
then get on a machine.

355
00:15:48,349 --> 00:15:52,085
Oh, no, I... well, I actually
just did abs, you know?

356
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,987
And they're barking pretty good.

357
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,390
Well, then we're not gonna talk.

358
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,391
Okay.

359
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,293
What do I do, I just sit on...

360
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,395
Just sit down on this bad boy here?

361
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,597
No, that's way too easy.

362
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:07,166
Let's get you going on that guy.

363
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:09,569
Oh, the strappy thing.

364
00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:10,837
Are you sure about that?

365
00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:13,339
Positive.

366
00:16:13,374 --> 00:16:14,774
Okay.

367
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,110
Yeah, this is a little dungeon-y.

368
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:20,446
I'll put my hands in these
fuzzy little friends here.

369
00:16:20,481 --> 00:16:21,915
Oh, yeah, you're right.
You know, I can already feel

370
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:23,716
my core kind of firing up.

371
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:25,151
Ahh. Doesn't seem too tough.

372
00:16:25,186 --> 00:16:26,986
Yeah, that's real funny. Real funny.

373
00:16:27,021 --> 00:16:30,089
Now get your hands out of
there and put in your feet.

374
00:16:30,124 --> 00:16:32,392
That seems a little tougher.

375
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:37,191
It is painful! It's very painful!

376
00:16:37,228 --> 00:16:38,695
Good! Excellent.

377
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:41,665
Now, why don't we hold
this pose for a count of...

378
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,767
Oh, I don't know... Two weeks?

379
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,536
Which is how long it
took you to text me back

380
00:16:45,570 --> 00:16:46,970
after the first time we
slept with each other.

381
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,806
In my defense, texting was just...

382
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,442
It was in its infancy, infancy back then.

383
00:16:51,476 --> 00:16:53,477
Uncle! Uncle! Too much pain!

384
00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:55,579
Well, now we know you can feel something.

385
00:16:55,613 --> 00:16:58,048
Okay, I probably... I
probably deserve that.

386
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,551
- Sure did.
- I swear to you,

387
00:17:00,585 --> 00:17:04,121
I didn't come here to get
you to drop the lawsuit.

388
00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:06,657
I came to tell you that I'm sorry.

389
00:17:06,691 --> 00:17:09,159
I... really, I'm sorry
for the way I treated you.

390
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,363
I probably was kind of a bad guy.

391
00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:15,032
Uh, no, you were definitely a bad guy.

392
00:17:15,066 --> 00:17:17,468
Look.

393
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:19,870
I was... I was a selfish jerk back then,

394
00:17:19,904 --> 00:17:21,772
and I surrounded myself
with other selfish jerks,

395
00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:24,308
and basically just spent my
life jerking people around.

396
00:17:24,342 --> 00:17:25,576
- Mm-hmm.
- But I really...

397
00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:27,044
I've got better people in my life right now

398
00:17:27,078 --> 00:17:29,046
who are helping me see the world

399
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,181
and see that there are other people in it.

400
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,718
And I know that this is gonna
be hard for you to believe,

401
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:38,489
but I am not that guy anymore.

402
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:41,492
And so, I'm...

403
00:17:41,526 --> 00:17:42,926
I'm just sorry.

404
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:45,396
That's... that's all I really have to say.

405
00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,765
I'll get out of your way.

406
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:50,000
Wait.

407
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:52,870
Are you really not that guy anymore?

408
00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:55,339
I pinky swear.

409
00:17:58,109 --> 00:17:59,676
But you're still that guy

410
00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:04,248
in the one way that really counts, right?

411
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:07,584
Oh, hell yeah.

412
00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:42,453
- Boo.
- Ah!

413
00:18:42,487 --> 00:18:45,250
How does it feel getting
followed around everywhere?

414
00:18:45,287 --> 00:18:49,523
- Not great.
- That's right.

415
00:18:49,558 --> 00:18:51,258
You know what, pasty?

416
00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:54,195
I actually wouldn't mind hanging
out with you once in a while

417
00:18:54,229 --> 00:18:58,332
if you could... Just
be a little bit cooler.

418
00:18:58,366 --> 00:18:59,934
I could totally be cooler.

419
00:18:59,968 --> 00:19:01,335
You sure?

420
00:19:01,369 --> 00:19:03,571
Well, no, but I mean, if I like...

421
00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:06,006
If I formulate a strategy,

422
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:08,817
put together a focus
group, I can get there.

423
00:19:11,113 --> 00:19:13,247
You are one weird, little dude.

424
00:19:16,818 --> 00:19:20,654
So, do you wanna join my focus group?

425
00:19:25,627 --> 00:19:28,696
Well, I'm not hearing a "no."

426
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,164
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Look! Look! Look there!

427
00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:33,734
She's crowning with one
giant moment of ecstasy!

428
00:19:33,768 --> 00:19:37,438
Oh, look, it's a... Very gifted boy.

429
00:19:38,874 --> 00:19:40,674
That's the umbilical cord, Andy.

430
00:19:42,544 --> 00:19:44,211
- Oh, hey, guys.
- Hey.

431
00:19:44,246 --> 00:19:45,513
Listen, I just wanted you to know

432
00:19:45,547 --> 00:19:47,815
that I really thought
about what you said, Fiona,

433
00:19:47,849 --> 00:19:50,684
and took your advice
and apologized to Stacey.

434
00:19:50,719 --> 00:19:51,986
- Aw!
- No.

435
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:54,455
Don't take her advice. She's not a lawyer!

436
00:19:54,489 --> 00:19:55,890
She's not even a doula.

437
00:19:55,924 --> 00:19:58,626
Do you know I am so proud of you, Will?

438
00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:03,364
I feel like I planted a seed inside of you,

439
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:06,300
and now I'm watching it
blossom into a colossal tree

440
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:07,935
of great character.

441
00:20:07,969 --> 00:20:12,506
Yeah, I apologized to her,
um, several times last night,

442
00:20:12,541 --> 00:20:16,577
and after this restorative beverage...

443
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:18,412
I'm gonna go upstairs and apologize to her

444
00:20:18,446 --> 00:20:19,413
a couple more times.

445
00:20:19,448 --> 00:20:20,948
That's my guy right there.

446
00:20:20,982 --> 00:20:24,218
What a puny shrub of disappointment

447
00:20:24,252 --> 00:20:26,120
you turned out to be.

448
00:20:26,154 --> 00:20:27,521
Hey, you have your way of solving problems,

449
00:20:27,556 --> 00:20:28,789
I have mine.

450
00:20:28,824 --> 00:20:30,858
Mine's a bit more fun.

451
00:20:30,892 --> 00:20:34,061
Um, but listen, to celebrate
her dropping the lawsuit,

452
00:20:34,096 --> 00:20:37,465
I was wondering, should I
buy a boat or a motorcycle?

453
00:20:37,499 --> 00:20:39,800
- I vote for the boat.
- That's one for the boat.

454
00:20:39,835 --> 00:20:41,435
I'm calling a lawyer and
having a restraining order

455
00:20:41,470 --> 00:20:42,737
slapped on your penis.

456
00:20:42,771 --> 00:20:44,905
Can you just stop obsessing about my penis?

457
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:46,140
- What does that mean?
- I can't believe

458
00:20:46,174 --> 00:20:48,909
what you're doing to this wounded, naive,

459
00:20:48,944 --> 00:20:50,511
innocent young woman.

460
00:20:50,545 --> 00:20:52,279
- Okay, we'll go boat.
- Bye, Will.

461
00:20:52,314 --> 00:20:54,682
Thanks for all the sex. Super fun.

462
00:20:54,716 --> 00:20:57,151
- It was my pleasure, and yours.
- Mm-hmm.

463
00:20:57,185 --> 00:20:59,386
Oh, and by the way, this changes nothing.

464
00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:02,123
I'm totally still suing you.

465
00:21:02,157 --> 00:21:04,892
Hi, Fiona! Hi!

466
00:21:04,926 --> 00:21:07,161
How does that affect the boat?

467
00:21:07,373 --> 00:21:11,236
Sync & corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com