1
00:00:02,117 --> 00:00:04,739
[Crow caws]

2
00:00:04,848 --> 00:00:05,724
Frankie: Thanksgiving.

3
00:00:05,802 --> 00:00:08,195
What do the Hecks and the
Pilgrims have in common?

4
00:00:08,289 --> 00:00:10,449
No indoor plumbing.

5
00:00:10,541 --> 00:00:12,668
How many times do I have to tell you?

6
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,632
Coffeepot is stream.

7
00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:16,674
Ice tray is mist.

8
00:00:16,764 --> 00:00:17,386
Mm.

9
00:00:17,486 --> 00:00:20,663
Okay, listen, Mike. I was thinking.

10
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,291
You know how we always say

11
00:00:22,343 --> 00:00:24,268
only losers and sad, pathetic people

12
00:00:24,337 --> 00:00:25,914
go out to dinner for Thanksgiving?

13
00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:27,818
So are you saying we're
going out this year?

14
00:00:27,881 --> 00:00:30,167
No. Well, yes, but not 'cause we're losers.

15
00:00:30,272 --> 00:00:32,131
'Cause we have a floor
sink and a tiny table.

16
00:00:32,194 --> 00:00:33,946
Don't exactly sound like winners.

17
00:00:34,029 --> 00:00:34,847
[Scoffs]

18
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,674
Okay, just... just follow me here.

19
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,189
I saw an ad in the paper
that king Henry's feast

20
00:00:39,313 --> 00:00:42,542
is doing a Thanksgiving buffet,
and it's only $7.99 a person.

21
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,525
They're doing all the Thanksgiving staples,

22
00:00:44,525 --> 00:00:47,141
plus their full complement
of international cuisine.

23
00:00:47,176 --> 00:00:48,484
And as an added bonus,

24
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,085
we don't have to do the
dishes in the bathtub.

25
00:00:50,197 --> 00:00:52,328
You don't have to convince
me to leave this house.

26
00:00:52,391 --> 00:00:54,214
Long as I get some turkey, I'm fine.

27
00:00:54,214 --> 00:00:56,537
Wait a minute. What's going on?

28
00:00:56,609 --> 00:00:58,534
Are we not having
Thanksgiving at home this year?

29
00:00:58,614 --> 00:01:00,471
Sue, take a look around this place.

30
00:01:00,568 --> 00:01:01,912
But we have to stay home.

31
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,259
Thanksgiving's not Thanksgiving

32
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,292
without frugal hoosier canned corn,

33
00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:08,410
safeway boxed stuffing,
and CVS pumpkin pie.

34
00:01:08,476 --> 00:01:10,066
Brick, did you hear this?

35
00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:10,864
Mom and dad say

36
00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:12,710
we're having Thanksgiving at a restaurant.

37
00:01:12,765 --> 00:01:14,399
Well, I'm actually okay with that.

38
00:01:14,504 --> 00:01:16,278
Of course, I'll have to
run it by Cindy first.

39
00:01:16,361 --> 00:01:17,130
Why?

40
00:01:17,199 --> 00:01:18,389
Well, it's a major holiday.

41
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,339
We can't just spend time with my family.

42
00:01:20,419 --> 00:01:22,291
You know what? Let's not
make a big deal about this.

43
00:01:22,393 --> 00:01:24,047
I already got Cindy breathing down my neck.

44
00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:25,085
I don't need you guys.

45
00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:27,936
Sue: Axl! Did you hear this?

46
00:01:28,016 --> 00:01:30,053
Mom and dad say we're having
Thanksgiving at a restaurant.

47
00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,719
Oh. So mom's not cooking?

48
00:01:31,806 --> 00:01:34,063
At last... something to
be truly thankful for.

49
00:01:34,184 --> 00:01:36,110
Oh, and listen, Axl...
I invited Devin Levin

50
00:01:36,168 --> 00:01:37,343
to come down and have dinner with us,

51
00:01:37,343 --> 00:01:39,125
so I'm gonna need you to
drive her home from school.

52
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:40,289
No! No way.

53
00:01:40,354 --> 00:01:42,487
I'm not driving Devin
Levin here from college.

54
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,612
I told you a million times!
I'm not telling you again!

55
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:47,450
I know this seems like an
extreme reaction, even for Axl,

56
00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:50,638
but this Devin Levin battle
had been raging for two years.

57
00:01:50,673 --> 00:01:52,693
Mm. Axl.

58
00:01:53,507 --> 00:01:56,325
My hair person's cousin's
niece's daughter is from Idaho,

59
00:01:56,385 --> 00:01:58,298
and she just started at east Indiana,

60
00:01:58,396 --> 00:01:59,977
so since she really
doesn't know anybody yet,

61
00:02:00,018 --> 00:02:01,765
I thought it'd be nice if
you called her just to say hi.

62
00:02:01,873 --> 00:02:02,880
Well, think again,

63
00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:05,320
'cause there's no way I'm
calling some uggo from Idaho.

64
00:02:05,396 --> 00:02:09,301
Did you ever call Devin Levin?
I asked you six months ago.

65
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,542
Mom, I don't have time. I'm studying.

66
00:02:11,608 --> 00:02:13,029
Axl, this is getting embarrassing.

67
00:02:13,079 --> 00:02:15,081
You have to call her
before my roots grow out.

68
00:02:17,073 --> 00:02:19,281
I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving that girl

69
00:02:19,359 --> 00:02:20,513
stranded for Thanksgiving.

70
00:02:20,615 --> 00:02:21,986
That's not how we roll.

71
00:02:22,049 --> 00:02:24,827
I'm asking you to do this,
and you do for family.

72
00:02:24,921 --> 00:02:26,612
But you don't do for hairdresser's family.

73
00:02:26,675 --> 00:02:28,765
Look, it's hard to find a good hair person

74
00:02:28,839 --> 00:02:30,161
who works out of her garage,

75
00:02:30,263 --> 00:02:32,238
but I did it, and you're doing this.

76
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,500
Wait... so it's not
gonna be just our family?

77
00:02:34,608 --> 00:02:36,616
It's not just our family anyway.

78
00:02:36,686 --> 00:02:38,363
Brick's bringing Cindy and Darrin's coming.

79
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,297
Ugh.

80
00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,976
Wait. Sue's bringing a date
and Brick's bringing a date?

81
00:02:42,064 --> 00:02:44,173
That means Devin Levin's
gonna think it's a date.

82
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,891
Relax. I didn't tell her it was a date.

83
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:47,866
Mom [Chuckles] look at me.

84
00:02:47,949 --> 00:02:49,800
If I pick a girl up, she's
gonna think it's a date.

85
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,291
All right, I smoothed
things over with Cindy.

86
00:02:52,371 --> 00:02:54,093
She's gonna spend Thanksgiving with us,

87
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,931
but I'm gonna have to do
Christmas with her folks.

88
00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:57,483
I think for new year's,

89
00:02:57,483 --> 00:02:58,890
we're just gonna go skiing with her Uncle.

90
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:03,329
So, Thanksgiving day arrived,

91
00:03:03,453 --> 00:03:06,055
and Axl finally agreed
to pick up Devin Levin.

92
00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:08,052
He might not always show it,

93
00:03:08,123 --> 00:03:10,311
but deep down, he's a perfect gentleman.

94
00:03:10,394 --> 00:03:15,815
[Horn blaring]

95
00:03:15,815 --> 00:03:16,864
[Blaring stops]

96
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:17,804
I was right here.

97
00:03:17,881 --> 00:03:19,302
So-rry!

98
00:03:19,382 --> 00:03:21,187
How would I know it's you?
We don't even know each other.

99
00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:22,503
I'm just giving you a
ride. I have a girlfriend.

100
00:03:22,627 --> 00:03:24,100
O... Kay.

101
00:03:28,888 --> 00:03:30,305
Aren't those your pregnancy pants?

102
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,069
They used to be my pregnancy pants.

103
00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:33,876
Now they're my holiday pants.

104
00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:34,871
Ah.

105
00:03:34,951 --> 00:03:36,907
Well, mom, do you mind if I ask you

106
00:03:36,956 --> 00:03:38,314
kind of a serious question?

107
00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:40,678
Uh... Sure.

108
00:03:41,813 --> 00:03:43,359
[Clears throat]

109
00:03:43,359 --> 00:03:45,852
Does dad not like Darrin?

110
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:47,952
What?! Pfft!

111
00:03:47,952 --> 00:03:51,019
Of course dad likes Darrin.
Why would you say that?

112
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:53,887
W-well, the other day,
you were talking about

113
00:03:53,964 --> 00:03:55,492
who was coming to Thanksgiving dinner,

114
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:57,697
and after you said Darrin was coming,

115
00:03:57,775 --> 00:03:59,209
dad said, "ugh."

116
00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:01,261
No. He didn't say, "ugh."

117
00:04:01,327 --> 00:04:04,204
He said... "Ah."

118
00:04:04,282 --> 00:04:06,760
You know, like, "ah, that's nice."

119
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:10,314
No. It was definitely an "ugh."
I remember it very vividly.

120
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:13,546
You said, "Darrin is
coming," and dad said, "ugh."

121
00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:15,373
Look, Sue, don't take it personally.

122
00:04:15,498 --> 00:04:18,032
Your dad likes us, and that's about it.

123
00:04:18,105 --> 00:04:19,839
And some days, not even us.

124
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:27,015
[Rock music plays loudly]

125
00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:29,715
So, are we going right to the restaurant,

126
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,632
or are we stopping at your house first?!

127
00:04:32,858 --> 00:04:33,860
[Volume decreases]

128
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,088
What?

129
00:04:35,088 --> 00:04:36,199
I was just wondering...

130
00:04:36,199 --> 00:04:37,803
are we going straight to the King's Feast,

131
00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:39,227
or are we stopping at your house first?

132
00:04:39,331 --> 00:04:42,737
Uh, no, we will not be
stopping at my house first.

133
00:04:42,836 --> 00:04:44,271
Nice try.

134
00:04:44,365 --> 00:04:45,301
Well, out of respect for the King,

135
00:04:45,383 --> 00:04:46,913
I better get out of my hoop clothes.

136
00:04:47,002 --> 00:04:49,425
Okay.

137
00:04:56,983 --> 00:04:58,831
Can't forget my seat belt.

138
00:04:58,929 --> 00:04:59,865
Safety first.

139
00:04:59,973 --> 00:05:02,035
[Sighs]

140
00:05:03,881 --> 00:05:06,048
Could've sworn I had a
bag of funyuns in here.

141
00:05:06,155 --> 00:05:07,941
I always travel with funyuns.

142
00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,035
They're like fun onions. They're funyuns!

143
00:05:10,124 --> 00:05:11,751
Ooh! Bingo!

144
00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,768
[Crunching]

145
00:05:18,843 --> 00:05:20,299
You do realize we're eating dinner

146
00:05:20,343 --> 00:05:22,807
in like less than an hour, right?

147
00:05:22,902 --> 00:05:24,595
[Muffled] Okay, dad.

148
00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:29,625
You know, I got to say,

149
00:05:29,736 --> 00:05:31,957
it was really cool of your mom
to invite me to Thanksgiving.

150
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,883
I mean, I would've been totally fine

151
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:34,833
just hanging out in my dorm.

152
00:05:34,888 --> 00:05:36,619
[Smacks lips] We could
still make that happen.

153
00:05:36,679 --> 00:05:37,829
Yeah, you know,

154
00:05:37,912 --> 00:05:40,238
I can pretty much cook
anything on a hot plate.

155
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:43,007
The other night, I made
brownies and lasagna.

156
00:05:43,113 --> 00:05:45,139
You can't make brownies on a hot plate.

157
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:47,320
Sure you can. You can make
anything on a hot plate.

158
00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:49,171
All you need is heat and the will to do it.

159
00:05:49,286 --> 00:05:50,597
Hmm.

160
00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:01,740
You ready?

161
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:03,404
Yep. Just waiting for Brick's girlfriend.

162
00:06:03,512 --> 00:06:06,259
No matter how many times I say
that, it still sounds weird.

163
00:06:06,368 --> 00:06:08,697
Uh, you know, you guys don't have to drive.

164
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,247
We can all ride in Darrin's pickup.

165
00:06:10,302 --> 00:06:12,166
It's 34 degrees out.

166
00:06:12,276 --> 00:06:13,958
There's a tarp to keep us warm.

167
00:06:14,021 --> 00:06:15,988
We can all fit in dad's car, Sue.

168
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,763
Okay, fine, but it's guys in
the front and girls in the back

169
00:06:18,763 --> 00:06:20,494
so that dad and Darrin can talk.

170
00:06:20,557 --> 00:06:22,118
About what?

171
00:06:23,736 --> 00:06:25,401
[Doorbell rings]

172
00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:30,218
Hi, Cindy.

173
00:06:30,332 --> 00:06:31,188
I like your dress.

174
00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:33,021
It has turkeys on it.

175
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:36,540
[Engine revs, tires squeal]

176
00:06:36,676 --> 00:06:37,817
What kind of parents

177
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:40,469
just dump their 12-year-old
on Thanksgiving and take off?

178
00:06:40,552 --> 00:06:42,329
You're just mad you
didn't think of it first.

179
00:06:42,412 --> 00:06:43,825
Mm.

180
00:06:45,119 --> 00:06:48,195
[Indistinct conversations]

181
00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:49,708
Pretty long line.

182
00:06:49,807 --> 00:06:52,705
You know where there are no lines? Home.

183
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:54,273
[Scoffs] It's fine.

184
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:56,823
Look, that table's getting
ready to leave. I can feel it.

185
00:06:56,876 --> 00:06:58,960
Hey, let's all give them the stink eye,

186
00:06:59,021 --> 00:06:59,979
get them to move along.

187
00:07:03,278 --> 00:07:05,266
Oh, crap. They're heading
for the appetizers.

188
00:07:05,382 --> 00:07:07,730
They're starting the
whole process over again.

189
00:07:07,815 --> 00:07:09,023
We're never gonna eat.

190
00:07:09,117 --> 00:07:12,153
We have a table for five.
Anyone with a party of five?

191
00:07:12,263 --> 00:07:12,944
Oh!

192
00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:14,899
One, two, three, four, five.

193
00:07:15,026 --> 00:07:16,536
Six.

194
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:17,506
[Smacks lips]

195
00:07:17,572 --> 00:07:19,092
Hey, Darrin, um,

196
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:22,026
can I see you by the
king's gumballs, please?

197
00:07:23,246 --> 00:07:25,218
- [Giggles]
- What's up?

198
00:07:25,218 --> 00:07:28,102
Okay, so, I was just thinking,
since it's Thanksgiving

199
00:07:27,987 --> 00:07:30,775
and, you know, your first
major holiday with my family,

200
00:07:30,869 --> 00:07:32,418
maybe you could just...

201
00:07:32,594 --> 00:07:34,514
[Clicks tongue] Kick it up a notch.

202
00:07:34,723 --> 00:07:36,124
Kick what up a notch?

203
00:07:36,201 --> 00:07:37,847
Uh... Nothing specific,

204
00:07:37,929 --> 00:07:40,326
but if you could just
be a little bit better.

205
00:07:40,422 --> 00:07:41,536
But not so much better

206
00:07:41,608 --> 00:07:42,878
that it looks like you're trying too hard,

207
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,429
but better than you are right now.

208
00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:45,977
Not that you're not great.

209
00:07:46,093 --> 00:07:47,083
[Chuckles]

210
00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:49,927
I'm not exactly sure what
you're asking me, but okay.

211
00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:50,901
Mm-hmm.

212
00:07:50,974 --> 00:07:53,408
Shoot. Now I feel like
you're gonna do too much.

213
00:07:53,502 --> 00:07:55,224
So don't even worry about it.

214
00:07:55,301 --> 00:07:56,980
Just forget everything I said

215
00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:58,766
and be yourself, like you normally are.

216
00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,234
But a little bit better.

217
00:08:02,408 --> 00:08:03,532
Okay.

218
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,347
I really like that stuffed pink flounder.

219
00:08:08,430 --> 00:08:10,297
Flounders are my favorite animal.

220
00:08:10,372 --> 00:08:12,226
Then the flounder, you shall have.

221
00:08:12,298 --> 00:08:14,015
[Coin clinks]

222
00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:16,191
["Start game" music plays]

223
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,598
[Claw clicking]

224
00:08:18,479 --> 00:08:19,628
Hmm.

225
00:08:22,255 --> 00:08:24,391
["Game over" music plays]

226
00:08:24,391 --> 00:08:25,440
I'll give it one more shot.

227
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:31,245
Okay, well, I'll sit next to mom,

228
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,058
and Brick can sit next to Cindy,

229
00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:34,413
and then...

230
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,508
Darrin, why don't you sit next to my dad?

231
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:37,385
[Chuckles]

232
00:08:37,487 --> 00:08:39,298
[Clears throat] We're here!

233
00:08:39,428 --> 00:08:41,157
Next stop... food coma. Lates.

234
00:08:41,157 --> 00:08:42,548
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going?

235
00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:44,734
We haven't even said hi to Devin Levin.

236
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,010
I got to say, it's so
nice to finally meet you.

237
00:08:47,139 --> 00:08:48,550
Sorry it took so long.

238
00:08:48,655 --> 00:08:51,156
Oh, no. It's all good.
Thanks for having me.

239
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,927
Sure! So, let's see.

240
00:08:52,927 --> 00:08:56,184
You're my hair person's
cousin's niece's daughter.

241
00:08:56,277 --> 00:09:00,820
So that means your mother's
aunt is cousin to my hairdresser.

242
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:03,198
Wait... but if it's an
aunt, would she be a cousin?

243
00:09:03,273 --> 00:09:05,519
You know what? Let me work backwards.

244
00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:06,888
Okay, so...

245
00:09:06,957 --> 00:09:09,749
[Claw clicking]

246
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:10,808
- ["Game over" music plays]
- I'm hungry.

247
00:09:10,808 --> 00:09:12,244
It won't be much longer.

248
00:09:12,244 --> 00:09:13,338
I think I'm really starting to pick up

249
00:09:13,338 --> 00:09:14,971
on the intricacies of the machine.

250
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,074
- [Coin clinks, "start game" music plays]
- You're not good at this.

251
00:09:17,135 --> 00:09:18,389
I'm getting food.

252
00:09:20,831 --> 00:09:26,149
Okay, so, if my niece is Lucy
and Lucy's mother is Janet...

253
00:09:26,238 --> 00:09:27,179
wait. Hold on.

254
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:28,998
So, Axl, you a big Colts fan?

255
00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:30,893
Nope. Not at all. Not in any way.

256
00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:33,232
Well, it might be a good
year to jump on the bandwagon.

257
00:09:33,326 --> 00:09:34,970
If luck stays healthy, they
can win the whole thing.

258
00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:37,281
If the offensive line does their job,

259
00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:38,469
luck will stay healthy.

260
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,399
Yeah, but Pagano's got to do his job, too.

261
00:09:40,522 --> 00:09:42,766
If he gets too pass-happy,
they'll get blitzed every time.

262
00:09:42,854 --> 00:09:43,967
You can't put that on the o-line.

263
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:46,193
Darrin: Well, if the Colts do
win the super bowl this year,

264
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:47,578
it won't be because of luck.

265
00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:50,687
But, then again, it will be 'cause
the quarterback's name is luck.

266
00:09:50,998 --> 00:09:52,181
Get it?

267
00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:53,847
[Chuckles] I get it, Darrin.

268
00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:56,334
That's funny, huh? [Chuckles]

269
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,745
Yeah.

270
00:09:57,849 --> 00:09:59,876
So, Devin, you think
the defense will hold up?

271
00:09:59,942 --> 00:10:01,092
Okay, that's enough sports talk.

272
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,037
Let's change the subject, hmm?

273
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:06,111
Does anyone have a funny
air-conditioning-school story?

274
00:10:06,223 --> 00:10:08,264
Oh, wait... I do.

275
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,811
This guy, Dan, at work
was on a service call,

276
00:10:10,891 --> 00:10:12,573
and he got his arm stuck in a fan belt.

277
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,894
[Laughs]

278
00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:17,445
And then what happened, Darrin?

279
00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,533
Uh, I think that was the whole story.

280
00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:22,286
Oh, no. That can't be the whole story.

281
00:10:22,368 --> 00:10:23,523
There must be more.

282
00:10:23,606 --> 00:10:24,783
Oh, yeah. There is.

283
00:10:24,893 --> 00:10:26,281
He mangled his hand pretty bad

284
00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:28,103
and lost his pinkie finger
and half his pointer.

285
00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:29,987
[Chuckling] Oh, Darrin, stop.

286
00:10:30,104 --> 00:10:31,293
No, seriously... stop.

287
00:10:31,386 --> 00:10:33,262
[Chuckles]

288
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,907
I can't believe you.

289
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:37,329
I know, right? I'm gonna
crush my mac-and-cheese record.

290
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,416
You're goin' down, you hear me? In my face!

291
00:10:39,510 --> 00:10:41,566
I'm talking about the way
you're treating Devin Levin.

292
00:10:41,654 --> 00:10:43,700
Oh, my God. I did everything you asked.

293
00:10:43,785 --> 00:10:45,943
Responsibility over. What
more do you want from me?

294
00:10:46,028 --> 00:10:47,279
I want you to talk to her.

295
00:10:47,351 --> 00:10:48,462
She doesn't seem that hard to talk to.

296
00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:50,423
[Groans] What is it with old people

297
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,668
thinking all young people
should talk to each other?

298
00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:53,074
Why don't you go talk
to the guy on the Rascal?

299
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,313
I did. His name is Wayne.
He's from Lafayette.

300
00:10:55,381 --> 00:10:57,564
He has a touch of the gout,
but today is his cheat day,

301
00:10:57,649 --> 00:10:59,169
and tomorrow, he's going
right back on his diet.

302
00:10:59,021 --> 00:11:00,038
[Snores]

303
00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:02,745
All right, come on, Axl.
Just be nice. Make an effort.

304
00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:04,507
I mean, you're my social one.

305
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,806
Besides, how hard can it
be? She likes football.

306
00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:10,002
And not to mention, she's adorable.

307
00:11:10,121 --> 00:11:12,567
Ohhh. Okay.

308
00:11:12,652 --> 00:11:13,958
I see what's happening here.

309
00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,187
Let me just say this.

310
00:11:15,284 --> 00:11:19,928
I will never, ever, ever be
with someone you set me up with.

311
00:11:20,022 --> 00:11:22,194
- [Scoffs] Axl...
- Ever!

312
00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:24,961
Ahhhh.

313
00:11:25,079 --> 00:11:27,024
Can you give me 20 bucks?

314
00:11:27,128 --> 00:11:28,180
No.

315
00:11:28,294 --> 00:11:29,446
How about a 5-spot?

316
00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:30,689
How about a no-spot?

317
00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:33,054
But I'm trying to win Cindy a flounder.

318
00:11:33,161 --> 00:11:35,015
You're the one that
told me to be chivalrous.

319
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,132
Well, I'm not giving you any money, Brick.

320
00:11:37,207 --> 00:11:39,430
When we leave, you can lay
your coat over a puddle.

321
00:11:39,521 --> 00:11:41,315
Mm. Fair enough.

322
00:11:41,395 --> 00:11:42,611
I'll use my birthday money.

323
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,782
[Sighs]

324
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:53,848
How's your cheese?

325
00:12:01,685 --> 00:12:03,118
I've had better.

326
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,256
Oh, excuse me, uh, Barry.

327
00:12:10,123 --> 00:12:11,538
Can you let them know we need more turkey?

328
00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:13,190
Sorry. We're all out of turkey.

329
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,058
Tough break.

330
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:25,255
Aw.

331
00:12:25,348 --> 00:12:27,873
You know, if you put the sugar packet
a little further back on the spoon,

332
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,043
you'll get a better angle.

333
00:12:29,153 --> 00:12:31,062
Don't tell me how to
play sugar-packet spoon.

334
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:32,555
I've been playing this
game since I realized

335
00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:34,548
I didn't want to talk to
my parents at restaurants.

336
00:12:34,652 --> 00:12:35,969
I'm just saying,

337
00:12:36,057 --> 00:12:37,818
if you put it a little
further back on the handle,

338
00:12:37,684 --> 00:12:39,517
get the sugar evenly distributed,

339
00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:42,251
you can pop it in, just like...

340
00:12:43,767 --> 00:12:44,921
That.

341
00:12:45,044 --> 00:12:46,046
Hmm.

342
00:12:46,838 --> 00:12:48,491
Are you done eating already?

343
00:12:48,557 --> 00:12:51,023
You haven't even gotten your $7 worth.

344
00:12:51,023 --> 00:12:52,620
Well, I didn't want to be done eating,

345
00:12:52,658 --> 00:12:53,654
but they ran out of turkey.

346
00:12:54,368 --> 00:12:56,638
You know, in my day, I'd have made sure

347
00:12:56,691 --> 00:12:59,147
that my girlfriend's dad got
his turkey before I got mine.

348
00:12:59,224 --> 00:13:01,144
Oh. I'm sorry, Mr. Heck. Here. Take mine.

349
00:13:01,219 --> 00:13:03,423
- No, thanks.
- No, seriously. I'm not even hungry.

350
00:13:03,528 --> 00:13:04,804
I'm just eating 'cause I'm bored.

351
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:06,503
Just take it, dad. He wants you to have it.

352
00:13:06,421 --> 00:13:07,331
I said I don't want it.

353
00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:08,884
Is it because it has ranch dressing on it?

354
00:13:08,947 --> 00:13:10,207
'Cause I can wipe it off.

355
00:13:10,268 --> 00:13:11,773
Uggh. Darrin...

356
00:13:11,837 --> 00:13:13,107
[Groans]

357
00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:15,810
Here. Just like new.

358
00:13:15,943 --> 00:13:16,859
Forget it, Darrin.

359
00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:21,075
Why'd I take the last piece of turkey?

360
00:13:21,169 --> 00:13:22,237
I'm such an idiot.

361
00:13:22,303 --> 00:13:24,166
I know this is gonna sound crazy,

362
00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:25,358
but when I'm with your dad,

363
00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:27,773
I get this weird vibe he doesn't like me.

364
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,198
What?!

365
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:30,944
That's nuts!

366
00:13:31,013 --> 00:13:33,076
You're, like, my dad's favorite

367
00:13:33,162 --> 00:13:35,151
and so on and so forth and what have you.

368
00:13:35,762 --> 00:13:36,665
I don't know.

369
00:13:36,764 --> 00:13:38,961
I feel like I'm lagging
behind Cindy and Devin Levin.

370
00:13:39,063 --> 00:13:41,701
No, no, no. He loves
you. Everything's fine.

371
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:42,755
The important thing

372
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,872
is to not beat yourself
up about it and act weird.

373
00:13:44,961 --> 00:13:46,740
Just act normal.

374
00:13:46,851 --> 00:13:48,782
W-well, but a little bit better.

375
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,679
Well, better than you were
at being better before,

376
00:13:50,656 --> 00:13:52,107
but not so much better that it's weird.

377
00:13:52,176 --> 00:13:54,306
The important thing is to not overthink it.

378
00:13:58,374 --> 00:14:00,221
Boom! It's on!

379
00:14:00,292 --> 00:14:01,865
All right, first one to 21 wins.

380
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,415
Loser drinks Darrin's turkey water.

381
00:14:05,582 --> 00:14:07,743
So, did your parents say what
time they were gonna pick you up?

382
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,637
It depends what time they
get back from Kentucky.

383
00:14:10,745 --> 00:14:11,963
[Coughs]

384
00:14:13,826 --> 00:14:15,479
[Claw clicking, "game over" music plays]

385
00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:18,105
Thanks, Delores.

386
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,400
Keep 'em coming.

387
00:14:20,606 --> 00:14:22,648
All right, here we go.

388
00:14:22,648 --> 00:14:24,698
- ["Start game" music plays]
- Papa needs a good grab.

389
00:14:25,417 --> 00:14:27,276
[Claw clicking]

390
00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:29,302
Yeah! There you go!

391
00:14:29,396 --> 00:14:31,124
Choke it down, my friend.

392
00:14:31,212 --> 00:14:33,349
And make sure you finish
all those turkey chunks.

393
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:35,140
Those babies are filled with protein.

394
00:14:35,206 --> 00:14:36,537
Come on. There you go.

395
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,641
Oh. Whoo!

396
00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:41,443
There's a reason they didn't have taquitos

397
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:42,540
at the first Thanksgiving.

398
00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:45,470
If I can just rally a burp here,

399
00:14:45,561 --> 00:14:47,922
I might be able to squeeze
in a piece of zebra cake.

400
00:14:48,008 --> 00:14:49,336
[Burps]

401
00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:55,025
I think I fixed everything, Sue.

402
00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:56,140
What did you do?

403
00:14:57,057 --> 00:14:59,393
I ate the turkey and your
dad didn't get any. Remember?

404
00:14:59,492 --> 00:15:01,470
I meant, what did you do to fix it?

405
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:02,670
Oh.

406
00:15:02,786 --> 00:15:05,608
I told them it was your dad's
birthday, even though it's not,

407
00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:07,373
and they're gonna bring
over a cake and sing to him.

408
00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:08,430
Wait. What?

409
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,811
We do it in our family all
the time. It's hilarious.

410
00:15:10,919 --> 00:15:13,672
No one can stay mad when
strangers are singing to them.

411
00:15:15,938 --> 00:15:18,381
Mom, I have to talk to you.
Darrin did something bad.

412
00:15:18,461 --> 00:15:20,375
Don't worry. Dad will
get over the turkey thing.

413
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:22,313
He told the waiters to sing
"Happy Birthday" to dad.

414
00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:23,834
What?

415
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,785
Has he lost his mind?!

416
00:15:25,848 --> 00:15:26,954
I don't know.

417
00:15:27,973 --> 00:15:29,418
Listen to me right now.

418
00:15:29,418 --> 00:15:32,085
You need to tell me who you talked
to and exactly what you said.

419
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,777
Uh, I don't know. He was a waiter.

420
00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:34,694
What did he look like?

421
00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:35,953
He had an apron and a pen.

422
00:15:36,028 --> 00:15:38,277
They all have aprons
and pens! I need details.

423
00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:40,205
Mole on his face, crooked nose... anything.

424
00:15:40,271 --> 00:15:41,034
I don't remember.

425
00:15:41,117 --> 00:15:42,676
Well, you've got to remember!

426
00:15:42,761 --> 00:15:44,810
It's kind of hard to think
when you're yelling at me!

427
00:15:44,873 --> 00:15:46,949
All right, just... just
go and find him... now!

428
00:15:47,037 --> 00:15:48,533
Axl!

429
00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:50,720
Darrin told the waiters to
sing "Happy Birthday" to dad.

430
00:15:50,786 --> 00:15:52,401
Oh, my God. He's killed us all!

431
00:15:52,504 --> 00:15:54,078
All right, listen, we got to stop this!

432
00:15:54,147 --> 00:15:55,211
Everybody, fan out.

433
00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:57,162
Axl, you check the kitchen.
Sue, you talk to the hostess.

434
00:15:57,245 --> 00:15:58,638
You see anybody carrying a birthday cake,

435
00:15:58,695 --> 00:15:59,469
you take them out!

436
00:16:04,991 --> 00:16:07,214
[Chuckling] Hey. Wrong table. Keep moving.

437
00:16:07,272 --> 00:16:10,137
Citizen of King's Feast,
by decree of the King,

438
00:16:10,192 --> 00:16:11,810
I declare it to be the day of birth

439
00:16:11,865 --> 00:16:13,958
of noble townsman Mike Heck.

440
00:16:14,038 --> 00:16:15,081
[Chuckles] It's not my B...

441
00:16:15,155 --> 00:16:17,760
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

442
00:16:17,848 --> 00:16:20,948
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

443
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,971
♪ Happy Birthday,
dear Mi-I-ke ♪

444
00:16:24,971 --> 00:16:28,263
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

445
00:16:28,263 --> 00:16:29,066
[Applause]

446
00:16:29,066 --> 00:16:31,340
♪ You take a big breath and blow ♪

447
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,355
[Applause stops, customers murmuring]

448
00:16:35,638 --> 00:16:37,008
Who?

449
00:16:44,085 --> 00:16:46,401
I don't get it. Does
your dad not like cake?

450
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,684
No, Darrin, he does not like cake,

451
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:48,738
he does not like being embarrassed,

452
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:50,384
and he does not like you! [Gasps]

453
00:16:51,807 --> 00:16:53,102
Your dad doesn't like me?

454
00:16:53,308 --> 00:16:55,260
No... Darrin.

455
00:16:55,538 --> 00:16:57,414
B-but he should.

456
00:16:57,488 --> 00:16:59,721
Dad, I know Darrin isn't perfect,

457
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:02,620
but Cindy ate a whole wedge of cheese,

458
00:17:02,697 --> 00:17:04,782
and Brick spent the whole
dinner playing an arcade game,

459
00:17:04,897 --> 00:17:05,992
and Axl's being rude

460
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,976
to mom's hair person's
cousin's niece's daughter.

461
00:17:08,007 --> 00:17:09,157
And none of this would've happened

462
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,115
if we could've just had
Thanksgiving at home,

463
00:17:10,954 --> 00:17:12,347
like God intended it to be!

464
00:17:13,377 --> 00:17:15,719
You know what? Home sounds
like a good idea right now.

465
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:17,048
Axl: My God, Sue.

466
00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:18,459
Thanks to you, now we got to go home,

467
00:17:18,547 --> 00:17:20,084
and I haven't even had a chance

468
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:21,311
to make my mex-Italian meat sundae!

469
00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:23,122
- You are so rude, Axl!
- You just try so hard!

470
00:17:23,205 --> 00:17:25,092
- She's really, really cute!
- Be at home, eating turkey!

471
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:26,146
Stop it!

472
00:17:26,226 --> 00:17:27,762
It's Thanksgiving!

473
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:30,924
Thanksgiving... the one day of the year

474
00:17:30,996 --> 00:17:33,686
we're supposed to stop
complaining and stressing out

475
00:17:33,788 --> 00:17:35,818
and just give thanks!

476
00:17:36,683 --> 00:17:38,921
I mean, we have so much to be thankful for.

477
00:17:39,012 --> 00:17:41,398
We're all here together and we're healthy

478
00:17:41,486 --> 00:17:43,672
and we're... relatively happy.

479
00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:46,152
You know, there are people
that live in the street

480
00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:47,286
and have nothing to eat,

481
00:17:47,352 --> 00:17:49,947
and here we are with this bountiful feast

482
00:17:50,032 --> 00:17:53,464
of lo mein and moussaka
and root-beer cake,

483
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,794
and we're inside, where
it's warm and nice and...

484
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,657
[Alarm blaring]

485
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:00,167
Man: Folks, this is not a drill.

486
00:18:00,264 --> 00:18:03,272
We need everyone to evacuate
the building immediately.

487
00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:08,102
Game over, pink flounder.

488
00:18:08,209 --> 00:18:11,376
At long last, you are mine.

489
00:18:11,505 --> 00:18:13,727
[Electricity powers down]

490
00:18:17,493 --> 00:18:21,008
Sorry, folks. We had a
small electrical fire.

491
00:18:21,108 --> 00:18:23,358
As soon as the fire department clears us,

492
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,991
we'll get you all back inside.

493
00:18:25,107 --> 00:18:26,489
Sorry.

494
00:18:26,577 --> 00:18:28,972
I spent all my money, but I
couldn't get you your flounder.

495
00:18:29,991 --> 00:18:31,009
My what?

496
00:18:31,872 --> 00:18:34,437
- Mr. Heck, sir...
- Darrin, listen.

497
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,970
I don't dislike you.

498
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:39,031
All in all, you're a pretty good guy.

499
00:18:39,097 --> 00:18:40,867
I'm just not gonna like anyone...

500
00:18:40,939 --> 00:18:43,708
anyone who's looking to
take away my daughter.

501
00:18:44,006 --> 00:18:45,433
It makes me grumpy.

502
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,430
You can understand that, right?

503
00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:48,849
Yes, sir.

504
00:18:48,951 --> 00:18:50,412
But I'll try to be better anyway.

505
00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:52,089
Good plan.

506
00:18:52,185 --> 00:18:53,812
You seen my wife?

507
00:18:58,829 --> 00:19:01,671
I guess I was feeling sorry for myself.

508
00:19:01,756 --> 00:19:04,167
For the first time in
my life, I was thinking

509
00:19:04,235 --> 00:19:07,003
maybe I didn't have
anything to be thankful for.

510
00:19:07,085 --> 00:19:09,411
The last few months with two jobs,

511
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:12,042
no dining-room table, a floor sink,

512
00:19:12,141 --> 00:19:13,779
having Thanksgiving in a restaurant,

513
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,071
like a bunch of losers...

514
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:18,631
it all just washed over me, and I was done.

515
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,896
Done trying to make everything fine for...

516
00:19:22,373 --> 00:19:23,248
are you kidding me?

517
00:19:25,852 --> 00:19:27,296
[Laughing] You are...

518
00:19:27,385 --> 00:19:28,944
You are so gonna get it.

519
00:19:28,944 --> 00:19:30,549
Watch out. Here it comes.

520
00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:32,674
Whoo! Yeah, babe!

521
00:19:34,249 --> 00:19:35,873
Hey! No fair.

522
00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:37,241
Who's that?

523
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:41,609
[Laughing]

524
00:19:41,609 --> 00:19:42,882
[Groans]

525
00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:49,056
Hey, turkey water!

526
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:52,997
Pfft! Weak!

527
00:19:53,039 --> 00:19:54,503
Ohhh!

528
00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:58,827
I... I'm it!

529
00:19:58,827 --> 00:19:59,894
And just like that,

530
00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:02,209
the Thanksgiving we
never wanted to remember

531
00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:03,983
turned into one we'd never forget.

532
00:20:04,058 --> 00:20:08,883
[Laughter]

533
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,458
[Engine shuts off]

534
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:24,489
Thanks for the ride.

535
00:20:24,572 --> 00:20:26,054
My pleasure. [Chuckles]

536
00:20:26,146 --> 00:20:29,125
And, uh, just so you know,
I don't have a girlfriend.

537
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:30,950
You don't?

538
00:20:31,043 --> 00:20:33,107
Well, I did.

539
00:20:33,194 --> 00:20:34,406
But, uh... She...

540
00:20:34,539 --> 00:20:36,807
[Voice breaking] Died.

541
00:20:37,624 --> 00:20:39,307
- Really?
- Yeah.

542
00:20:39,378 --> 00:20:40,925
Got the text during dinner, so...

543
00:20:41,468 --> 00:20:43,611
Wow. So sudden.

544
00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:46,023
Mm. Well, not really. [Chuckles]

545
00:20:46,089 --> 00:20:47,153
She was in a coma.

546
00:20:47,219 --> 00:20:49,081
Truth is, we weren't really that close.

547
00:20:49,161 --> 00:20:50,978
You weren't really that
close to your girlfriend?

548
00:20:51,074 --> 00:20:52,131
D... I mean, eh...

549
00:20:52,225 --> 00:20:54,600
We both knew before the
coma it wasn't working out.

550
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,036
Um, her last words to me were, uh,

551
00:20:57,091 --> 00:21:00,178
"Move on. Be happy. Find someone else."

552
00:21:00,252 --> 00:21:02,660
We didn't know at the time
those were her last words,

553
00:21:02,748 --> 00:21:05,710
but, uh, still
[Clicks tongue] pretty poetic.

554
00:21:06,617 --> 00:21:08,315
- Wow.
- Yeah.

555
00:21:16,092 --> 00:21:17,897
- Good luck with that.
- Thank you.

556
00:21:21,224 --> 00:21:23,222
- Happy thanksgiv...
- [Car door slams]

557
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,230
- Sync and correctins by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -