1 00:00:00,857 --> 00:00:04,755 Sync, corrected by icephoenix www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:05,413 --> 00:00:08,325 Narrator: North of the North Pole and south of the stars 3 00:00:08,348 --> 00:00:11,718 lies a quaint little village called Stinky Cigars. 4 00:00:11,742 --> 00:00:13,139 [Siren pulse] 5 00:00:13,151 --> 00:00:15,881 The name is so awful that folks pass right by it. 6 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,950 It's a trick that we use to keep our town quiet. 7 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,753 You'll see that we've got some celebrities here... 8 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:25,100 The groundhog, Columbus, and Chinese New Year. 9 00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:26,858 There's Jack Frost and Washington, 10 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:27,959 Lincoln and Cupid, 11 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:31,068 and dear April Fool, who's as sweet as he's stupid. 12 00:00:31,091 --> 00:00:32,089 Yahtzee. 13 00:00:32,113 --> 00:00:33,283 - Oh! - Man! 14 00:00:33,306 --> 00:00:35,985 Narrator: St. Pat and St. Nicholas fill our saint quota. 15 00:00:36,009 --> 00:00:37,418 [Irish accent] If you're looking 16 00:00:37,441 --> 00:00:38,979 for St. Paul, check Minnesota. 17 00:00:39,003 --> 00:00:40,854 - Ho ho! - Har har har. 18 00:00:40,878 --> 00:00:43,473 Narrator: You have to be proud and a little bit nuts 19 00:00:43,496 --> 00:00:45,661 to honor a banner with two smelly butts. 20 00:00:45,685 --> 00:00:47,622 [Microphone feedback] 21 00:00:47,646 --> 00:00:51,065 Please join me in our town anthem. 22 00:00:51,086 --> 00:00:54,753 ♪ Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! ♪ 23 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:58,722 All: ♪ Stinky Cigars! ♪ 24 00:00:58,745 --> 00:01:02,627 ♪ Stinky Cigars! ♪ 25 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:06,231 ♪ There's no place on earth, and no place on Mars ♪ 26 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:10,119 ♪ that's as happy as Stinky Cigars. ♪ 27 00:01:10,142 --> 00:01:13,805 ♪ The cats never scratch. The dogs never bite. ♪ 28 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,908 ♪ The sun shines all day and night. ♪ 29 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:20,812 Men: ♪ All day and night. ♪ 30 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,924 ♪ Uh! "S" to the T-I. ♪ 31 00:01:24,947 --> 00:01:26,384 ♪ "N" to the K-Y. ♪ 32 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,186 Marshmallow bunnies: ♪ Stinky, Stinky Cigars! ♪ 33 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:31,211 ♪ Uh! Life in the S-C is kind of a dream. ♪ 34 00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:33,892 ♪ There's a candy cane tree by a butterscotch stream. ♪ 35 00:01:33,915 --> 00:01:36,568 ♪ If your teeth all go rotten, well, don't you scream. ♪ 36 00:01:36,592 --> 00:01:39,564 ♪ 'Cause the dentist gives fillings of chocolate cream. ♪ 37 00:01:39,588 --> 00:01:41,800 Marshmallow bunnies: ♪ Sweet... ♪ 38 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,402 ♪ ♪ 39 00:01:45,826 --> 00:01:49,624 All: ♪ Stinky Cigars! ♪ 40 00:01:49,648 --> 00:01:52,711 ♪ Stinky Cigars! ♪ 41 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:57,415 Easter Bunny: ♪ Yeah, the streets are all paved with chocolate bars. ♪ 42 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:01,086 ♪ There's no smoking in Stinky Cigars. ♪ 43 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:05,018 ♪ I put my head through a priceless Renoir. ♪ 44 00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:08,893 Santa: ♪ That's no problem in Stinky Cigars. ♪ 45 00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:15,500 All: ♪ No one's got problems in Stinky Cigars. ♪ 46 00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:29,981 Well, that killed half the day. 47 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:32,384 We've got to get a shorter anthem. 48 00:02:33,384 --> 00:02:36,364 Narrator: It's a nice place to work. It's a nice place to grow up. 49 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,866 It's such a nice place, you just want to throw up. 50 00:02:39,890 --> 00:02:42,021 Narrator: Everyone's happy, except Murray Weiner, 51 00:02:42,044 --> 00:02:43,946 owner of Murray's Holiday Diner. 52 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:46,598 Murray is grouchy and cranky and crabby, 53 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:49,127 nasty and ghastly, obnoxious and flabby, 54 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:51,041 ill-tempered, ill-natured, malevolent and... 55 00:02:51,064 --> 00:02:52,786 Murray: All right! They get it. 56 00:02:52,811 --> 00:02:55,100 Yet still everyone in the holiday bunch 57 00:02:55,124 --> 00:02:57,858 would come into Murray's to have a great lunch. 58 00:02:57,883 --> 00:03:00,170 You might see George Washington eating and drinking 59 00:03:00,194 --> 00:03:02,314 on President's Day with Abraham Lincoln. 60 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,183 And how, you might wonder, did Santa get that? 61 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,184 Just thank Murray's 62 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,019 chocolate-chip cheesecake for that. 63 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:11,289 Ho ho ho! [Burps] 64 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,559 You get the bagels. You got the chili. 65 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:18,396 Thanksgiving Turkey, stuff yourself silly. 66 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,733 Cupid, you're sweet. I don't want to be pushy. 67 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:25,770 But get off my seat with your bare-naked tushy. 68 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,574 [Arrow strikes object] Ooh. 69 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,945 Here's your roast beef, Leprechaun. 70 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:37,182 This is rare. I want well-done. 71 00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:40,218 Much obliged. 72 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,620 Narrator: And back in the corner, all by himself, 73 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,190 sat an odd little fellow named Edison Elf. 74 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,225 What are you doing playing with food? 75 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,627 It's wasteful and dirty and terribly rude. 76 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:53,298 I'm just sitting here quietly making a racket. 77 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,867 I'm Edison Elf. I'm a bit of a tinkerer. 78 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,037 Kid, as a tinkerer, you are a stinkerer. 79 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,505 Hey! I invented horse socks... 80 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,540 [Sniffs] To go with horseshoes... 81 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,011 And a loud watch alarm for people who snooze. 82 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,679 [Alarm] 83 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:08,546 I'm up! I'm up! 84 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,082 And here is a toy that I know kids will love. 85 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,952 It's a Jack-in-the-box with a spring boxing glove. 86 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,788 ["Pop Goes the Weasel" plays] 87 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,325 I call it a Jack-in-the-boxer. 88 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,962 Box, boxer, glove. It's a pun. 89 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,830 This would at least get an honorable mention 90 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:29,067 if there were a contest for world's worst invention. 91 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:29,734 What? 92 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,236 - It's stupid. - It's clever. 93 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,704 - It's nasty. - It's nice. 94 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,407 Go show it to Santa and get his advice. 95 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,242 I will. I will! 96 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,045 He forgot to pay his bill. 97 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,016 [Hammering] 98 00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:52,123 All: ♪ oh, we work, work, work, work, work, work, work. ♪ 99 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,325 ♪ We work with great endurance. ♪ 100 00:04:54,361 --> 00:05:00,031 ♪ We never miss a day of work 'cause we don't have health insurance. ♪ 101 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,303 ♪ We work all night, we work all day. ♪ 102 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,672 ♪ We love our jobs, but come on, hey. ♪ 103 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:13,178 ♪ We never get a dime of pay. ♪ 104 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:19,651 ♪ We just work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. ♪ 105 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:20,919 Santa: Ho ho! 106 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,621 - Nice work, Dave. - My name is Chet. 107 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,357 - But I thought he was Chet. - I'm Dolores. 108 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:31,162 - And you must be the new guy. - I've been here 87 years. 109 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,398 Ok, break's over. Back to work. 110 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:36,000 All: ♪ Oh, we work, work, work, work, work, work, work. ♪ 111 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,969 ♪ We really bust our heinies. ♪ 112 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:43,908 ♪ They hire elves for this work, work, work 'cause we're cheaper than the Chinese. ♪ 113 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:49,681 ♪ But it's still one of life's great joys to earn a living making toys. ♪ 114 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:54,285 ♪ I'm going crazy from this noise! ♪ 115 00:05:54,321 --> 00:06:02,994 Elves: ♪ He's berserk, serk, serk, serk, serk, serk, serk, berserk. ♪ 116 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,131 Who wants cocoa? 117 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,432 - Yes, please! - Me! Me! I do! 118 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,901 It's $8 for the large, 5 bucks for the small. 119 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,437 - Elf: For a lousy coffee? - Wow. That hurts. 120 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,739 All right. Double time. 121 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:23,915 ♪ What a jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk Santa Claus can be. ♪ 122 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:30,255 ♪ Still, it's nice to have some work, work, work in this economy. ♪ 123 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:38,830 ♪ I go to work beside my dad. ♪ 124 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:43,868 ♪ I have the job my father had. ♪ 125 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:49,541 ♪ This place isn't all that bad. ♪ 126 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:54,112 ♪ Get to work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. ♪ 127 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:57,482 He's a great guy outside the office. 128 00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,451 Narrator: At Santa's Workshop on Christmas Eve day, 129 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,687 zillions of toys were stuffed into the sleigh. 130 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:06,491 There were Jacks and wax lips and all kinds of loose stuff... 131 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,859 Crumpunglers, tumpuzzlers. 132 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,494 You know, Dr. Seuss stuff. 133 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:12,597 There were dolls that said "mama" and dolls that said "goo," 134 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,999 dolls that made music... And dolls that made pooh. 135 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,735 There were dolls that grew tall at a push of a button 136 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,805 and a doll, best of all, that didn't do nothing. 137 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,640 Santa was ready, about to take off, 138 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:26,444 when from behind him, he heard a small cough. 139 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:27,412 [Coughs] 140 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,146 Santa... Ahem. 141 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,280 Could I have your attention? 142 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,383 I'd just like to show you my latest invention. 143 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,585 Yes? 144 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,420 My Jack-in-the-boxer belongs on your list. 145 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,256 It's a Jack-in-the-box with a fabulous twist. 146 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,992 ["Pop Goes the Weasel" plays] 147 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:47,098 Aaaarggh! 148 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,936 You're, uh, supposed to point it away from your face. 149 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,972 Ho ho! Don't worry, son. 150 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:57,275 I'm perfectly schnibble and ready to glibble. 151 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:01,446 - You're starting to dribble. - Really? 152 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,415 Narrator: All of the toys fell out of the sled. 153 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,852 And they bounced one by one off of poor Santa's head. 154 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:08,886 [Squeak] 155 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,088 Mama! [Squeak] 156 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,191 [Pppbbbllltt] Gah! 157 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,961 Oh, nutmeg. 158 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,031 [Rumbling outside] 159 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,733 Anyone else hear that? 160 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,369 [Excited chatter] 161 00:08:24,489 --> 00:08:26,515 _ 162 00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,573 Hmm, it needs work. [Chuckles weakly] 163 00:08:36,358 --> 00:08:41,195 Globble, glibble, ish, kibibble. Hee hee! 164 00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:43,531 Mmm! 165 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,433 Appetite... Good. 166 00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:48,369 Narrator: When someone is having a less than a jolly day, 167 00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:49,704 they call on this man. 168 00:08:49,739 --> 00:08:51,405 His name is Doc Holiday. 169 00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:52,707 Diaper rash. 170 00:08:52,742 --> 00:08:54,408 - Ooh! Ooh! - Seasickness. 171 00:08:54,444 --> 00:08:57,345 I'm under such pressure to see my shadow 172 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,913 and get winter over already. 173 00:08:58,948 --> 00:09:02,416 What if I don't see it? I mean, should I lie? 174 00:09:02,452 --> 00:09:03,985 Diaper rash. 175 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:07,121 - Aah! No... - Claus-trophobia. 176 00:09:07,157 --> 00:09:09,390 One year I was certain I saw my shadow, 177 00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:12,827 but it turned out to be an oil stain on the pavement. 178 00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:16,464 I cannot tell a lie. Ha ha. You're fat. 179 00:09:16,499 --> 00:09:20,034 I'm a rodent, not a meteorologist. 180 00:09:20,069 --> 00:09:23,237 Uh, diaper rash. 181 00:09:23,773 --> 00:09:25,306 Uh, how's it look, Doc? 182 00:09:25,341 --> 00:09:27,441 Would you like to hear the bad news first? 183 00:09:27,477 --> 00:09:29,544 I'd rather hear the good news. 184 00:09:29,579 --> 00:09:31,012 Oh, I didn't say there's good news. 185 00:09:31,047 --> 00:09:36,217 Heh heh. In layman's terms, Santa Claus is suffering from... 186 00:09:36,252 --> 00:09:40,087 ♪ Superficial fractures of his little baby toeses. ♪ 187 00:09:40,123 --> 00:09:41,222 ♪ His ears moved south ♪ 188 00:09:41,257 --> 00:09:44,525 ♪ and now his mouth is pushed up where his nose is. ♪ 189 00:09:44,861 --> 00:09:48,229 ♪ I'm prescribing aspirin in super megadoses ♪ 190 00:09:48,264 --> 00:09:52,066 ♪ for superficial fractures of his wittle, bitty toeses. ♪ 191 00:09:52,101 --> 00:09:54,535 Where exactly did you go to med school? 192 00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:55,636 Colombia. 193 00:09:55,672 --> 00:09:56,671 Bogota, Colombia. 194 00:09:56,706 --> 00:10:00,641 ♪ He's got inflammation and abrasions, bruises and contusions, ♪ 195 00:10:00,677 --> 00:10:05,079 ♪ spinal fusion, great confusion marked by weird delusions. ♪ 196 00:10:05,448 --> 00:10:09,050 ♪ I'm a pretty little girl. My mommy calls me Susan. ♪ 197 00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:13,554 Holiday: ♪ Inflammation and abrasions, bruises and contusions. ♪ 198 00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:15,590 Narrator: Doc Holiday never cured anything. 199 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:19,694 But you had to admit, the guy sure loved to sing. 200 00:10:21,397 --> 00:10:23,931 ♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Oy! ♪ 201 00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:27,535 Stop. Stop! This is terrible! 202 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:31,072 ♪ I didn't mean to frighten you. ♪ 203 00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:33,975 ♪ It's just a slight concussion. ♪ 204 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:37,378 ♪ I know that you feel terrible. ♪ 205 00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:41,916 ♪ The bad news must be crushin'. ♪ 206 00:10:44,787 --> 00:10:51,592 ♪ Make sure he gets lots of rest so there's no repercussions. ♪ 207 00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:52,627 I will. 208 00:10:52,662 --> 00:10:54,095 ♪ But Christmas must be canceled. ♪ 209 00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:57,898 ♪ That's the end of the discussion. ♪ 210 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:01,369 ♪ Christmas must be canceled. ♪ 211 00:11:01,404 --> 00:11:07,441 ♪ That's the end of the discussion. ♪ 212 00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:10,544 [Wind] 213 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:11,779 All right. I ruined Christmas. 214 00:11:11,814 --> 00:11:14,815 I mean, that's not the worst thing in the world. 215 00:11:14,851 --> 00:11:16,083 Actually, it is. 216 00:11:16,119 --> 00:11:20,187 I've done the worst thing in the world. 217 00:11:20,223 --> 00:11:22,290 People will forgive me in time. 218 00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:25,493 They'll be able to look back at this and laugh... 219 00:11:25,528 --> 00:11:29,664 Ha ha... In say 6 billion, 8 billion years. 220 00:11:29,699 --> 00:11:33,267 So let's review. I hurt Santa, broke his toys, 221 00:11:33,303 --> 00:11:36,904 ruined Christmas, and now I'm stuck in a trench. 222 00:11:36,939 --> 00:11:39,240 Help! Help! 223 00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,275 [Bell on hat rings] 224 00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:43,077 Hmm... 225 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:45,980 [Alarm] 226 00:11:47,517 --> 00:11:50,051 [Excited chatter] 227 00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,423 [Sawing] 228 00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,390 Oof! 229 00:11:56,426 --> 00:11:58,826 Where are you going? What's all the rumpus? 230 00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:02,963 So long, Easter Bunny. Good-bye, Columbus. 231 00:12:10,973 --> 00:12:13,908 [Cheering] 232 00:12:13,943 --> 00:12:16,811 Narrator: There in the snow stood the holiday stars, 233 00:12:16,846 --> 00:12:18,546 every last person in Stinky Cigars. 234 00:12:18,581 --> 00:12:21,148 There were even a few who weren't so famous, 235 00:12:21,184 --> 00:12:23,751 like Arbor Day Aardvark and Labor Day Amos. 236 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:26,821 You all saved my life. Thanks goodness you came! 237 00:12:26,856 --> 00:12:30,624 But something bad happened, and I am to blame. 238 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:31,625 [Crowd gasps] 239 00:12:31,661 --> 00:12:33,861 For those who don't know me, I'm Edison Elf. 240 00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:36,764 And I'm afraid Santa is not quite himself. 241 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:40,968 Santa: Hello! I'm Queen Hanna of Bananaland. 242 00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:45,473 Bananas for you and you and especially you. 243 00:12:45,508 --> 00:12:48,909 Yes, your majesty. Let's get back to the castle. 244 00:12:48,945 --> 00:12:52,313 Santa: Gently, sir. Bananas bruise easily. 245 00:12:52,348 --> 00:12:56,117 I'm afraid it's my fault that he's under the weather. 246 00:12:56,152 --> 00:12:59,787 And there won't be a Christmas unless we pull together. 247 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,356 It's gonna be tough, and it's gonna be tricky. 248 00:13:02,392 --> 00:13:06,060 So let us unite and win one for St. Nicky! 249 00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:08,195 [Cheering and applause] 250 00:13:08,231 --> 00:13:12,333 Edison: ♪ Got lots and lots of problems and the time is tight. ♪ 251 00:13:12,368 --> 00:13:16,470 ♪ Got to hand out all those presents by the end of the night. ♪ 252 00:13:16,506 --> 00:13:20,007 ♪ We got a whole lot that we got to achieve. ♪ 253 00:13:20,042 --> 00:13:24,044 ♪ But you got to believe on Christmas Eve. ♪ 254 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,381 - Men: ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ - ♪ When? ♪ 255 00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:28,482 - ♪ On Christmas Eve. ♪ - Exactly. 256 00:13:28,518 --> 00:13:30,618 - ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ - What day was that again? 257 00:13:30,653 --> 00:13:31,585 ♪ On Christmas Eve. ♪ 258 00:13:31,621 --> 00:13:32,720 Well, aren't you guys smart. 259 00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:34,488 Oh, come on. It's impossible. 260 00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:38,826 ♪ When they told the Easter Bunny that he had to bring those eggs, ♪ 261 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:42,863 ♪ he said, "I cannot do it with my tiny, little legs." ♪ 262 00:13:42,899 --> 00:13:46,934 ♪ They said, "if you don't do this then the kids are gonna grieve." ♪ 263 00:13:46,969 --> 00:13:48,169 ♪ and he said... ♪ [Crash] 264 00:13:48,204 --> 00:13:50,771 ♪ "Oh, oh! I got to believe." ♪ 265 00:13:50,807 --> 00:13:52,940 - ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ - ♪ When? ♪ 266 00:13:52,975 --> 00:13:54,909 - ♪ On Christmas Eve. ♪ - Edison: That's right. 267 00:13:54,944 --> 00:13:56,977 - ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ - I can't hear you! 268 00:13:57,013 --> 00:13:59,480 - Men: ♪ On Christmas Eve. ♪ - I'm still not convinced. 269 00:13:59,515 --> 00:14:02,983 Edison: ♪ No one believed Columbus when he said the world was round, ♪ 270 00:14:03,019 --> 00:14:07,254 ♪ but he went on his great voyage and America was found. ♪ 271 00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:07,922 Whoo! 272 00:14:07,957 --> 00:14:12,059 ♪ Now everyone in Texas, Taiwan, and Tel Aviv, they say ♪ 273 00:14:12,094 --> 00:14:14,995 ♪ "oh, oh! We got to believe." ♪ 274 00:14:15,031 --> 00:14:18,132 - Tel Aviv? - It rhymes. 275 00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:21,669 ♪ Got to wrap those presents, got to fix those toys. ♪ 276 00:14:21,704 --> 00:14:26,106 ♪ Got to make a merry Christmas for the world's good girls and boys. ♪ 277 00:14:26,142 --> 00:14:29,109 ♪ It's better to give now than to receive. ♪ 278 00:14:29,145 --> 00:14:33,380 - ♪ Oh, you got to believe on Christmas Eve. ♪ - Yeah! 279 00:14:33,416 --> 00:14:35,683 ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ 280 00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,685 ♪ You got to believe. ♪ 281 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,420 ♪ On Christmas Eve, got to believe. ♪ 282 00:14:39,455 --> 00:14:40,654 ♪ Yeah, you got to believe. ♪ 283 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:44,992 ♪ you gotta, gotta, gotta, ah, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta ♪ 284 00:14:45,027 --> 00:14:46,760 ♪ on Christmas Eve. ♪ 285 00:14:46,796 --> 00:14:50,798 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 286 00:14:54,303 --> 00:14:55,803 Men: ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ 287 00:14:55,838 --> 00:14:56,570 ♪ When? ♪ 288 00:14:56,606 --> 00:14:58,138 - ♪ On Christmas Eve. ♪ - Exactly. 289 00:14:58,174 --> 00:15:00,975 - ♪ Oh, you got to believe. ♪ - Edison: What day was that again? 290 00:15:01,010 --> 00:15:02,409 ♪ On Christmas Eve. ♪ 291 00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:04,211 Narrator: Everyone pitched in, except Murray Weiner, 292 00:15:04,247 --> 00:15:07,381 who stood all alone in the Holiday Diner. 293 00:15:07,416 --> 00:15:09,817 Why was he grouchy? What was his history? 294 00:15:09,852 --> 00:15:11,452 What was his problem? 295 00:15:11,487 --> 00:15:13,621 The man was a mystery. 296 00:15:13,656 --> 00:15:17,825 ♪ Murray's got antisocial, claustrophobic paranoid neurosis. ♪ 297 00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:22,429 ♪ Narcissistic, germophobic, borderline psychosis. ♪ 298 00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:26,467 ♪ He is in The Guinness Book for longest diagnosis. ♪ 299 00:15:26,502 --> 00:15:31,205 ♪ Antisocial, claustrophobic paranoid neurosis. ♪ 300 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:32,573 What are you doing here? 301 00:15:32,608 --> 00:15:36,443 They... heh heh... sent me to order dinner. 302 00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:39,780 [Tap tap tap tap] 303 00:15:40,883 --> 00:15:43,484 I am the man to deliver the toys 304 00:15:43,519 --> 00:15:46,320 to the good pretty girls and the pretty good boys. 305 00:15:46,355 --> 00:15:49,690 I'll sail east to go west and west to go east. 306 00:15:49,725 --> 00:15:53,027 The voyage should take me 3 months at the least. 307 00:15:53,062 --> 00:15:56,363 Senor Columbus, you have one night at best! 308 00:15:56,399 --> 00:15:59,033 Have it your way. I'll go west to go west. 309 00:15:59,068 --> 00:16:01,368 Narrator: He asked Easter Bunny to gift-wrap a truck. 310 00:16:01,404 --> 00:16:03,771 His paws were too small. He was having no luck. 311 00:16:03,806 --> 00:16:06,574 So he painted and dyed it in purples and pinks. 312 00:16:06,609 --> 00:16:08,108 On an egg, this looks good. 313 00:16:08,144 --> 00:16:10,377 On a truck? Well, it stinks. 314 00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:13,113 To Byron Bineski, Fort Crowder, New Jersey, 315 00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:16,050 we send you our love and this powder blue Jersey. 316 00:16:16,085 --> 00:16:19,353 Wishing you good luck and gumdrops galore. 317 00:16:19,388 --> 00:16:21,889 Then it goes on for 5 pages more. 318 00:16:21,924 --> 00:16:24,024 How many gift cards would you say you've done? 319 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,794 When this card is finished, I'll be up to one. 320 00:16:26,829 --> 00:16:29,029 [Sighs] 321 00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:30,097 - Man: Hey! - Aah! 322 00:16:30,132 --> 00:16:31,865 Narrator: Lincoln and Washington had a big fight. 323 00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:34,902 Honest Abe, can't you do anything right? 324 00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:37,171 - I'm on the penny. - I'm on the quarter. 325 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,540 - I'm also much older. - You're almost much shorter. 326 00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:42,543 Stop it, you guys! You're behaving like Scrooges. 327 00:16:42,578 --> 00:16:45,746 Narrator: Then they all started fighting just like the Three Stooges. 328 00:16:45,781 --> 00:16:47,047 Uncle Sam: Here. Hold this. 329 00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:49,049 [Imitates curly] Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! 330 00:16:49,085 --> 00:16:50,184 Yah, yah, yah! 331 00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:51,585 - Ha ha! - Uh! 332 00:16:51,621 --> 00:16:54,455 Narrator: 'Twas the night before Christmas and all was in crisis. 333 00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,957 The groundhog had eaten the "naughty and nice" list. 334 00:16:56,993 --> 00:16:59,326 The April Fool built a preposterous bike, 335 00:16:59,362 --> 00:17:02,129 and Labor Day Amos had gone out on strike. 336 00:17:02,164 --> 00:17:04,431 Amos and elves: Silent night, holy night! 337 00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,834 We will not give up the fight... 338 00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:08,268 Woman: Liberte! 339 00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:10,871 Stop all your shouting. Stop all the noise. 340 00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:14,241 There's no one I trust to deliver these toys. 341 00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:18,078 Delivery. Lincoln, here's your hot pastrami. 342 00:17:18,114 --> 00:17:19,847 Washington gets cold salami. 343 00:17:19,882 --> 00:17:21,382 Columbus asked for rigatoni. 344 00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:22,783 St. Pat ordered fried bologna. 345 00:17:22,818 --> 00:17:26,053 Piece of fish, sirloin steak, meat knish, carrot cake. 346 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,655 And April Fool... I don't know why... 347 00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:29,890 Ordered compact discs on rye. 348 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:30,958 Yum! 349 00:17:30,993 --> 00:17:34,061 [Loud crunching] 350 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,598 - What? - You're the one! 351 00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:39,066 I'm the what one? 352 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,801 You are the one to deliver the toys 353 00:17:40,836 --> 00:17:43,771 to 200 countries, to good girls and boys. 354 00:17:43,806 --> 00:17:46,006 Just put on this red suit and get in the sleigh. 355 00:17:46,042 --> 00:17:48,342 What are you, cuckoo? Forget it. No way. 356 00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:49,410 Please. 357 00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:50,477 - No. - Please? 358 00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:51,478 - No! - Please? 359 00:17:51,514 --> 00:17:52,246 - No... - Please... 360 00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:54,915 Narrator: And so for an hour, these two kept on going, 361 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:58,185 with one of them please-ing and one of them no-ing. 362 00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,319 - Please? - No. 363 00:17:59,355 --> 00:18:00,487 Please? 364 00:18:00,523 --> 00:18:03,190 No! Why in the world should I schlep through the snow, 365 00:18:03,225 --> 00:18:05,926 bringing millions of presents to kids I don't know? 366 00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:08,028 Will anyone pay me? Will anyone tip? 367 00:18:08,064 --> 00:18:09,763 What if I slip and fracture my hip? 368 00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:12,332 Look at the weather. It's cold and it's shivery. 369 00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:15,436 There's no way on earth I will make this delivery. 370 00:18:15,471 --> 00:18:17,004 [Door shuts] 371 00:18:17,039 --> 00:18:18,972 Bummer. 372 00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:23,210 Narrator: Murray spent each Christmas Eve on his own, 373 00:18:23,246 --> 00:18:26,981 remembering days when he wasn't alone. 374 00:18:27,101 --> 00:18:28,916 _ 375 00:18:28,939 --> 00:18:31,113 _ 376 00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:36,390 You dated her? 377 00:18:36,425 --> 00:18:38,425 Get out of my deli. Get off of my land. 378 00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:41,662 What part of "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no" 379 00:18:41,697 --> 00:18:42,763 don't you understand? 380 00:18:42,798 --> 00:18:44,765 I'll tell you the reason you shouldn't say no. 381 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,601 I just need one minute, and then I will go. 382 00:18:47,637 --> 00:18:49,937 - One minute? - 60 seconds. 383 00:18:49,972 --> 00:18:50,838 [Ticking] 384 00:18:50,873 --> 00:18:51,939 So what's the reason? 385 00:18:51,974 --> 00:18:55,643 Because it's Christmas. Lights, please. 386 00:18:56,612 --> 00:18:57,578 [Lamp switch clicks] 387 00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:59,647 Christmas, you know, is that one special season 388 00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:02,550 when people do good things without a good reason. 389 00:19:02,585 --> 00:19:04,919 The grouchiest men will wear musical ties 390 00:19:04,954 --> 00:19:08,355 and buy Christmas presents for folks they despise. 391 00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:12,026 The cheapest of cheapskates will spend all his money, 392 00:19:12,061 --> 00:19:14,628 and people make fruitcakes from concrete... 393 00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:15,563 And honey. 394 00:19:15,598 --> 00:19:18,065 Tonight think of others instead of yourself. 395 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:18,899 [Ding] 396 00:19:18,935 --> 00:19:23,170 Your minute is up, Mr. Edison Elf. 397 00:19:28,422 --> 00:19:30,207 _ 398 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:33,280 Libby, mistletoe! 399 00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:34,782 [Chuckles] 400 00:19:34,817 --> 00:19:36,317 - Ooh! - Murray! 401 00:19:36,352 --> 00:19:38,052 Ha ha. It's ok. 402 00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,854 Merry Christmas, Murray. 403 00:19:43,893 --> 00:19:46,660 - I'll do it. - Oh, Murray! 404 00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:49,697 No hugs, no hugs, no hugs, no hugs. 405 00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:51,832 Narrator: Murray put on the suit. 406 00:19:51,867 --> 00:19:55,135 The belly was baggy. The shoulders were saggy. 407 00:19:55,171 --> 00:19:56,403 The bottom was draggy. 408 00:19:56,439 --> 00:19:58,939 I'm pretty fat, but I think Santa's fatter. 409 00:19:58,975 --> 00:20:00,441 The caboose is quite loose, 410 00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:02,576 but I guess it won't matter. 411 00:20:02,612 --> 00:20:05,346 [Cheering and applause] 412 00:20:05,381 --> 00:20:07,848 Columbus: Bravissimo, Murray! 413 00:20:07,883 --> 00:20:09,083 I wish you good luck. 414 00:20:09,118 --> 00:20:10,784 Cupid: I love what you're doing. 415 00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:12,486 April Fool: My zipper is stuck. 416 00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:14,888 Narrator: They hopped in the sleigh and sped off like a comet. 417 00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:17,257 Murray: What are you doing? I'm going to vomit. 418 00:20:17,293 --> 00:20:19,627 I've got one rule, but, surely, it's basic. 419 00:20:19,662 --> 00:20:22,696 If you go too fast, I'm gonna get sleigh-sick. 420 00:20:22,732 --> 00:20:23,797 Why don't you drive? 421 00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:27,201 On, Dumbo and Jumbo. On, Mason and Dixon. 422 00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:30,137 On, Cosmo and Kramer and Richard M. Nixon. 423 00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:32,773 That wasn't even close. 424 00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:40,581 Narrator: They made their first stop, Eddie fearing the worst. 425 00:20:40,616 --> 00:20:43,984 Murray fell down the chimney and landed head-first. 426 00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:46,520 Ow! Oof. 427 00:20:47,923 --> 00:20:50,190 Not terrible. A little dry. 428 00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:52,593 Eggnog, huh? I never had it. 429 00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:56,296 Blecch! So that's why they only drink it once a year. 430 00:20:56,332 --> 00:20:59,500 Narrator: He didn't come back till a quarter to 2:00. 431 00:20:59,535 --> 00:21:01,869 Murray! I worried. What happened to you? 432 00:21:01,904 --> 00:21:04,304 Down by the fireplace, kids hung up socks. 433 00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:07,474 So I loaded the socks up with bagels and lox. 434 00:21:07,510 --> 00:21:08,308 Presents. 435 00:21:08,344 --> 00:21:10,177 You're supposed to bring presents. 436 00:21:10,212 --> 00:21:11,679 Kids don't love lox? 437 00:21:11,714 --> 00:21:13,213 Narrator: They went to the next house. 438 00:21:13,249 --> 00:21:14,448 It didn't go better. 439 00:21:14,483 --> 00:21:16,717 Murray got bit by a big Irish setter. 440 00:21:16,752 --> 00:21:17,451 [Growling] 441 00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,853 [Chomp, clothing rips] 442 00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:23,691 [Echoing] Aah! 443 00:21:23,726 --> 00:21:26,260 Narrator: He stepped on a turtle at house number 3. 444 00:21:26,295 --> 00:21:27,261 [Crunch] 445 00:21:27,296 --> 00:21:31,231 In house number 4, he knocked over the tree. 446 00:21:31,267 --> 00:21:33,000 [Crashing] 447 00:21:33,035 --> 00:21:34,735 What was that noise? 448 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:36,437 - Mice. - Oh. 449 00:21:36,472 --> 00:21:37,604 Wait. Who said that? 450 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,139 [Voice in higher pitch] Cat. 451 00:21:39,175 --> 00:21:43,310 Oh. Betty Fred, get my gun. 452 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:44,978 [Gun is loaded] 453 00:21:45,014 --> 00:21:45,913 [Fires gun] 454 00:21:45,948 --> 00:21:48,716 I've been bit by a dog and shot by a gun. 455 00:21:48,751 --> 00:21:51,385 I must tell you, shorty, I'm not having fun. 456 00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:54,254 I'm old and I'm cold, and this suit doesn't fit. 457 00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:56,990 If the next stop goes badly, I'll just have to quit. 458 00:21:57,026 --> 00:21:59,093 Narrator: Edison Elf couldn't blame him. 459 00:21:59,128 --> 00:21:59,793 He tried. 460 00:21:59,829 --> 00:22:01,261 I have faith in you, Murray. 461 00:22:01,297 --> 00:22:04,164 Narrator: The little elf lied. 462 00:22:06,902 --> 00:22:10,604 Murray jumped down the chimney and landed so hard... 463 00:22:10,639 --> 00:22:13,580 The thud knocked the snow off the trees in the yard. 464 00:22:13,603 --> 00:22:15,338 - He got to his feet with a... - Oof. 465 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,405 - And an... - Oy. 466 00:22:16,428 --> 00:22:19,413 And he found himself facing a 6-year-old boy. 467 00:22:19,448 --> 00:22:22,282 Santa Claus! Santa Claus! Santa Claus! 468 00:22:22,318 --> 00:22:24,718 Where? Oh, right. You mean me. 469 00:22:24,754 --> 00:22:26,720 Yes, I'm Santa, I swear. 470 00:22:26,756 --> 00:22:27,888 Do your Santa Claus laugh. 471 00:22:27,923 --> 00:22:29,323 Please, please, please, please? 472 00:22:29,358 --> 00:22:32,659 Huh? Sure. Heh heh. Tee hee. 473 00:22:32,695 --> 00:22:34,962 Hoo. Ha. Oh, boy. 474 00:22:34,997 --> 00:22:37,531 Narrator: Murray snorted and snickered and chortled and chuckled. 475 00:22:37,566 --> 00:22:40,134 And as he chuckled, his belt came unbuckled. 476 00:22:40,169 --> 00:22:42,736 His pants, which were loose, fell down straight to his knees. 477 00:22:42,772 --> 00:22:46,039 "Murray Weiner" was stitched on his silk BVDs. 478 00:22:46,075 --> 00:22:47,374 Well, I'm going to jail. 479 00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:50,577 Santa Claus, please. Would you kindly explain 480 00:22:50,613 --> 00:22:54,214 why you and your underpants have different names? 481 00:22:54,250 --> 00:22:55,382 Narrator: Betrayed by his boxers, 482 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:58,152 let down by his pants, he knew a good story 483 00:22:58,187 --> 00:22:59,586 would be his best chance. 484 00:22:59,622 --> 00:23:01,989 Don't you know Murray Weiner is a famous designer? 485 00:23:02,024 --> 00:23:04,792 Calvin Klein may be fine, but Weiner is finer. 486 00:23:04,827 --> 00:23:06,360 Are you sure you're Santa? 487 00:23:06,395 --> 00:23:07,995 You don't have a beard. 488 00:23:08,030 --> 00:23:10,464 Your suit is all baggy. You smell kind of weird. 489 00:23:10,499 --> 00:23:13,467 I shaved off the beard. Mrs. Claus said it tickles. 490 00:23:13,502 --> 00:23:16,069 And I went on a diet... Club soda and pickles. 491 00:23:16,105 --> 00:23:18,739 That should explain why I'm beardless and bellyless. 492 00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:21,441 The pickles would also account for my smelliness. 493 00:23:21,477 --> 00:23:24,444 So there, I've explained. I've made everything clear. 494 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,113 Murray: Now, I should be going. 495 00:23:26,148 --> 00:23:27,614 Wait. Name your reindeer. 496 00:23:27,650 --> 00:23:30,484 Narrator: Murray hemmed and he hawed. He did not know this stuff. 497 00:23:30,519 --> 00:23:33,353 So he huffed and he puffed and proceeded to bluff. 498 00:23:33,389 --> 00:23:36,089 There's Bambi and Rambo and Dopey and Doc, 499 00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:38,158 Scotty and Sulu, Uhura and Spock. 500 00:23:38,194 --> 00:23:39,827 Murray looked at him hopefully. 501 00:23:39,862 --> 00:23:40,794 How did I do? 502 00:23:40,830 --> 00:23:45,098 You're a big phony fake! I guess Santa is, too. 503 00:23:45,134 --> 00:23:46,366 [Sobbing] 504 00:23:46,402 --> 00:23:47,267 [Sniffles] 505 00:23:47,303 --> 00:23:49,102 Santa's not phony. I've got the proof. 506 00:23:49,138 --> 00:23:52,472 Come out on the lawn, look up on the roof. 507 00:23:54,443 --> 00:23:57,511 That's Santa's sleigh sitting there in the snow. 508 00:23:57,546 --> 00:24:00,180 There are the reindeer whose names I don't know. 509 00:24:00,216 --> 00:24:02,783 Oh, Santa is real, kid. It's wrestling that's fake. 510 00:24:02,818 --> 00:24:05,252 Narrator: And that's when the boy knew he'd made a mistake. 511 00:24:05,287 --> 00:24:07,054 This wasn't just some smelly guy in a suit 512 00:24:07,089 --> 00:24:10,390 but an honest to goodness Saint Nick substitute. 513 00:24:10,426 --> 00:24:13,160 And then the boy smiled. Murray felt a strange tingle. 514 00:24:13,195 --> 00:24:18,298 He knew for one night that he could be Kris Kringle. 515 00:24:18,334 --> 00:24:20,200 Ho ho ho! 516 00:24:20,236 --> 00:24:21,835 [Deer calling excitedly] 517 00:24:21,871 --> 00:24:23,136 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 518 00:24:23,172 --> 00:24:24,304 Aah! Oh! [Thud] 519 00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:27,474 Narrator: Murray brought the boy in, and he patted his head. 520 00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:31,011 And he fixed him a lean pastrami sandwich with coleslaw 521 00:24:31,046 --> 00:24:32,713 and a triple-thick chocolate milkshake. 522 00:24:32,748 --> 00:24:35,148 And he sent him to bed. 523 00:24:36,485 --> 00:24:39,419 So tell me, Murray, do you feel like quitting? 524 00:24:39,455 --> 00:24:42,289 Quitting, quitting? You got to be kidding. 525 00:24:42,324 --> 00:24:43,824 I love Christmas lights... 526 00:24:43,859 --> 00:24:46,360 the purple and orange, the yellow and... 527 00:24:46,395 --> 00:24:48,295 Something that rhymes with orange. 528 00:24:48,330 --> 00:24:50,631 Enough of this talk. We've got toys to deliver. 529 00:24:50,666 --> 00:24:54,167 We can't sit around like 2 lumps of chopped liver. 530 00:24:55,271 --> 00:24:59,273 Glibble, globble, Julian Schnabel. 531 00:24:59,308 --> 00:25:01,108 [Snores once] 532 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,848 My suit. My sleigh. My toys. 533 00:25:07,883 --> 00:25:09,016 My word! 534 00:25:09,051 --> 00:25:12,519 Hello? Sarah, get me the police! 535 00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:15,022 ["Jingle bells" ringtone] 536 00:25:15,357 --> 00:25:17,758 Officer Bender, the bender of laws. 537 00:25:17,793 --> 00:25:21,428 - To whom am I speaking? - My name's Santa Claus. 538 00:25:21,463 --> 00:25:23,330 [Hangs up] Weirdo. 539 00:25:23,365 --> 00:25:24,197 [Ringtone] 540 00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:27,734 You say you're Santa. I say I doubt it. 541 00:25:27,770 --> 00:25:30,304 If you're really Santa, then tell me about it. 542 00:25:30,339 --> 00:25:33,006 When you were 2, I brought you a crib. 543 00:25:33,042 --> 00:25:34,574 When you were 3, you got a nice bib. 544 00:25:34,610 --> 00:25:36,610 At 4, I gave you a big Teddy bear. 545 00:25:36,645 --> 00:25:40,647 You were naughty at 5, so you got underwear. 546 00:25:40,683 --> 00:25:43,450 All right. All right. What's been stolen? 547 00:25:43,485 --> 00:25:45,886 Eight flying reindeer, sleigh in the back, 548 00:25:45,921 --> 00:25:48,956 6 billion toys, and a 50-foot sack. 549 00:25:48,991 --> 00:25:50,891 Any distinguishing characteristics? 550 00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:52,793 Oy. I'm dealing with an idiot. 551 00:25:52,828 --> 00:25:54,695 I give you my word as the public's defender, 552 00:25:54,730 --> 00:25:57,431 I'll track down this rat and return him to sender. 553 00:25:57,466 --> 00:26:00,133 I'll find this little coward and put him in jail. 554 00:26:00,169 --> 00:26:03,303 I'm Officer Bender, and I never fail. 555 00:26:03,339 --> 00:26:04,905 Huh. Where did I put my keys? 556 00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:06,940 [Siren pulse] 557 00:26:08,253 --> 00:26:11,302 Narrator: From Nome down to Rome, from Minsk to Atlanta, 558 00:26:11,326 --> 00:26:15,426 Murray brought presents as quickly as Santa. 559 00:26:35,726 --> 00:26:37,607 _ 560 00:26:42,155 --> 00:26:43,755 Bah! 561 00:26:48,561 --> 00:26:51,129 Oh, boy. 562 00:26:53,099 --> 00:26:56,234 [Shuddering] 563 00:27:03,543 --> 00:27:05,810 I'm raring to go. It's a quarter past 3:00. 564 00:27:05,845 --> 00:27:07,011 Where are you, shorty? 565 00:27:07,047 --> 00:27:09,814 [Muffled] You're sitting on me! 566 00:27:12,585 --> 00:27:14,485 [Stammering] 567 00:27:14,521 --> 00:27:16,621 Narrator: Santa, of course, didn't know about Murray. 568 00:27:16,656 --> 00:27:19,590 He thought Christmas was stolen, so he had to hurry. 569 00:27:19,626 --> 00:27:21,492 Santa: It's a quarter past 3:00. I still got a chance. 570 00:27:21,528 --> 00:27:24,529 I just need a sleigh and some toys and some pants. 571 00:27:24,564 --> 00:27:27,765 Narrator: He put on red long johns in place of the suit. 572 00:27:27,801 --> 00:27:30,568 Instead of a cap, he wore a red boot. 573 00:27:30,603 --> 00:27:31,769 Perfect! 574 00:27:31,805 --> 00:27:35,106 Santa: Sleigh, sleigh? Do I have a spare sleigh? 575 00:27:35,141 --> 00:27:38,576 Maybe there's one buried under this hay. 576 00:27:38,611 --> 00:27:41,045 Ooh. All that I see is a shovel and rake 577 00:27:41,081 --> 00:27:43,047 and this old garden hose. [Rattling] 578 00:27:43,083 --> 00:27:44,882 No, wait. That's a snake. 579 00:27:44,918 --> 00:27:47,518 Snake! Ah! Ah! 580 00:27:47,554 --> 00:27:50,288 [Loud thud] 581 00:27:50,323 --> 00:27:51,956 This could work. 582 00:27:51,991 --> 00:27:53,424 [Breathing heavily] 583 00:27:53,460 --> 00:27:56,194 I just need to find a giant toy store 584 00:27:56,229 --> 00:28:01,833 that's open on Christmas at a quarter to 4:00. 585 00:28:04,704 --> 00:28:07,305 Narrator: Then Santa Claus saw a miraculous sight. 586 00:28:07,340 --> 00:28:12,310 In the sky far above was a star shining bright. 587 00:28:18,418 --> 00:28:19,250 [Bell rings] 588 00:28:19,285 --> 00:28:20,685 Give me everything you got in the store! 589 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:21,819 Don't shoot me. 590 00:28:21,855 --> 00:28:24,655 [Muzak playing over speakers] 591 00:28:25,792 --> 00:28:27,391 What are you? 592 00:28:27,427 --> 00:28:28,693 I'm vishin' you... 593 00:28:28,728 --> 00:28:29,794 You're Vishnu? 594 00:28:29,829 --> 00:28:31,629 I'm vishin' you wouldn't shoot me. 595 00:28:31,664 --> 00:28:34,799 I'm not going to shoot you. Put down your arms... 596 00:28:34,834 --> 00:28:37,101 All of them. 597 00:28:37,137 --> 00:28:39,537 [Clears throat] Two more. 598 00:28:39,572 --> 00:28:41,172 So how can I help you? 599 00:28:41,207 --> 00:28:42,640 - Wrapping paper? - Aisle one. 600 00:28:42,675 --> 00:28:44,142 - Children's books? - We have none. 601 00:28:44,177 --> 00:28:46,077 - Any toys? - Just some knickknacks. 602 00:28:46,112 --> 00:28:48,813 - Christmas candy? - Only tic tacs. 603 00:28:48,848 --> 00:28:52,150 [Chuckles weakly] Ho ho ho. 604 00:28:52,185 --> 00:28:53,718 [Punching keys on register] 605 00:28:53,753 --> 00:28:56,821 Comic books, candy bar, bobbing head dolls for your car, 606 00:28:56,856 --> 00:29:01,259 playing cards, ballpoint pen, paper clips. Yeah! Kids love them. 607 00:29:01,294 --> 00:29:05,463 DVD of Mighty Ducks. That'll be 8,000 bucks. 608 00:29:05,498 --> 00:29:08,199 Dough! Dough! Dough! 609 00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:14,272 ♪ Got to bring this garbage to the little brats. ♪ 610 00:29:14,307 --> 00:29:15,006 [Groans] 611 00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:17,175 ♪ And nothing's gonna stop me. ♪ 612 00:29:17,210 --> 00:29:19,210 [Bicycle bell rings] Hey! 613 00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:23,047 Glibble... 614 00:29:25,385 --> 00:29:28,953 [Sleigh bells ring] 615 00:29:28,988 --> 00:29:30,388 What's next? 616 00:29:30,423 --> 00:29:34,559 You've been to Albania, finished Romania, done Transylvania. 617 00:29:34,594 --> 00:29:35,359 That was no fun. 618 00:29:35,395 --> 00:29:37,028 Delivered to China, North Carolina. 619 00:29:37,063 --> 00:29:39,864 Hey, Murray Weiner, you're finished! You're done. 620 00:29:39,899 --> 00:29:41,365 Well, that was easy. Ha ha! 621 00:29:41,401 --> 00:29:44,702 Easy? How did you do it? You move like a pro. 622 00:29:44,737 --> 00:29:47,271 What is your secret? We all want to know. 623 00:29:47,307 --> 00:29:48,706 Did you ever Google me? 624 00:29:48,741 --> 00:29:50,041 - What? - You'd find out... 625 00:29:50,076 --> 00:29:51,576 Everything in, like, 5 seconds. 626 00:29:51,611 --> 00:29:54,045 Use Bing. Use Google. Use Bingle. 627 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:58,182 Well, well, well. What are you looking for? 628 00:29:58,218 --> 00:30:00,017 Murray Weiner. 629 00:30:00,053 --> 00:30:03,287 ♪ Bup bup ba boo, thinkin', thinkin'. ♪ 630 00:30:03,323 --> 00:30:05,990 Oh, here you go, pally. 631 00:30:07,652 --> 00:30:09,794 Announcer: News You Can Use, bringing you 632 00:30:09,829 --> 00:30:12,396 fast-breaking news from around the globe 633 00:30:12,432 --> 00:30:13,965 just weeks after it happens. 634 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,533 Man on motorcycle: Aah! 635 00:30:15,568 --> 00:30:18,603 Announcer: August 12th is here, which can only mean 636 00:30:18,638 --> 00:30:21,038 one thing... Milkman's day. 637 00:30:21,074 --> 00:30:22,773 That's when we pay tribute to the derring-do 638 00:30:22,809 --> 00:30:26,277 of the dairy man, who goes door to door each morning, 639 00:30:26,312 --> 00:30:28,179 bringing fresh moo juice. 640 00:30:28,214 --> 00:30:30,681 And it wouldn't be Milkman's Day 641 00:30:30,717 --> 00:30:34,418 without the annual parade down Fifth Avenue. 642 00:30:34,454 --> 00:30:35,453 ♪ ♪ 643 00:30:35,488 --> 00:30:39,323 Men: ♪ Here come the milkmen. ♪ 644 00:30:39,359 --> 00:30:43,895 ♪ Bringing milk, bringing cheese, bringing anything you please. ♪ 645 00:30:43,930 --> 00:30:46,764 ♪ Cheer for the milkmen. ♪ 646 00:30:46,799 --> 00:30:53,671 ♪ Hear the drum, here they come with your daily calcium. ♪ 647 00:30:53,706 --> 00:30:54,872 ♪ Yum, yum, yum. ♪ 648 00:30:54,908 --> 00:30:56,173 Announcer: And here's the guy 649 00:30:56,209 --> 00:31:00,645 the kids have been waiting for... Murray the Milkman. 650 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,883 He's the Easter Bunny of butter, the Kris Kringle of cream. 651 00:31:05,919 --> 00:31:11,956 Women: ♪ Murray the Milkman, he is smooth as silk, man. ♪ 652 00:31:11,991 --> 00:31:17,528 ♪ Ooh, he gives me shivers. Ooh, the man delivers. ♪ 653 00:31:17,563 --> 00:31:20,965 ♪ He's idolized because he's pasteurized. ♪ 654 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,235 ♪ He's the man for me, gives me vitamin "D." ♪ 655 00:31:24,270 --> 00:31:27,305 ♪ Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray. ♪ 656 00:31:27,340 --> 00:31:31,409 ♪ Sling that cow juice right to my door. ♪ 657 00:31:32,045 --> 00:31:34,845 But pretty soon, kids could get milk from a store. 658 00:31:34,881 --> 00:31:37,415 They didn't need milkmen like me anymore. 659 00:31:37,450 --> 00:31:40,384 Milk's just as good when it comes from a carton. 660 00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:43,554 So my whole holiday was completely forgotten. 661 00:31:43,589 --> 00:31:44,655 Forgotten. 662 00:31:44,691 --> 00:31:49,427 The parades got much smaller. And one day, they stopped. 663 00:31:49,462 --> 00:31:53,664 The floats were dismantled. The balloons were all popped. 664 00:31:53,700 --> 00:31:56,734 My whole happy life had become a bad dream. 665 00:31:56,769 --> 00:32:01,205 And I became sour as 3-month old cream. 666 00:32:02,909 --> 00:32:04,241 I gave up my job. 667 00:32:04,277 --> 00:32:05,142 [Knock on door] 668 00:32:05,178 --> 00:32:07,044 And I gave up my friends. 669 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:12,550 And I told my true love not to see me again. 670 00:32:15,888 --> 00:32:18,322 Edison: Why did you do that? 671 00:32:18,358 --> 00:32:19,357 Because I was nothing. 672 00:32:19,392 --> 00:32:21,425 I was nothing, and she was a national treasure. 673 00:32:21,461 --> 00:32:23,160 I put that woman on a pedestal. 674 00:32:23,196 --> 00:32:25,029 I mean, she was already on a pedestal, 675 00:32:25,064 --> 00:32:29,166 but I put her on a figurative pedestal on top of the literal pedestal. 676 00:32:29,202 --> 00:32:31,435 Ah! You know what I mean. 677 00:32:31,771 --> 00:32:34,472 You're not nothing, Murray. You proved that you're not. 678 00:32:34,507 --> 00:32:37,675 Well, thank you for giving this grump one last shot. 679 00:32:37,710 --> 00:32:41,912 Narrator: Murray smiled. Eddie smiled. And the reindeer all smiled. 680 00:32:41,948 --> 00:32:45,483 Tonight you brought presents to every good child. 681 00:32:45,518 --> 00:32:48,185 - What about the bad kids? - Who? 682 00:32:48,221 --> 00:32:50,521 Why should we stop? We have time. We have toys. 683 00:32:50,556 --> 00:32:53,524 Why can't we bring them to bad girls and boys? 684 00:32:53,559 --> 00:32:54,625 No. 685 00:32:54,660 --> 00:32:55,960 - Please. - No. 686 00:32:55,995 --> 00:32:57,094 - Please? - No! 687 00:32:57,130 --> 00:33:00,031 So a kid might be lazy. He might be a slob. 688 00:33:00,066 --> 00:33:02,800 He drives his folks crazy. That's kind of his job. 689 00:33:02,835 --> 00:33:05,736 Narrator: Ed heard what he said, and he couldn't resist. 690 00:33:05,772 --> 00:33:09,140 They brought toys to the naughty, a very long list. 691 00:33:09,175 --> 00:33:11,776 Some ice skates for Kate, who poured glue on mom's chair, 692 00:33:11,811 --> 00:33:15,012 put tacks in dad's slacks, and then belched the lord's prayer. 693 00:33:15,048 --> 00:33:16,080 [Kate burps] 694 00:33:16,115 --> 00:33:18,215 A toboggan for Ogden, who played sick from school 695 00:33:18,251 --> 00:33:21,252 and drove his dad's Pontiac into the pool. 696 00:33:21,287 --> 00:33:23,521 A Dolly for Molly, who just for a joke 697 00:33:23,556 --> 00:33:26,690 popped a bag behind grandpa and gave him a stroke. 698 00:33:26,726 --> 00:33:27,792 [Thud] 699 00:33:27,827 --> 00:33:30,661 Murray brought presents to all bad and good kids... 700 00:33:30,696 --> 00:33:33,664 The weird and the feared and the misunderstood kids 701 00:33:33,699 --> 00:33:36,333 and not just to Christians, he brought gifts to Hindus, 702 00:33:36,369 --> 00:33:39,970 to Buddhists and Muslims, to fat and to thin Jews. 703 00:33:40,006 --> 00:33:42,373 And people said Christmas was never so pleasant 704 00:33:42,408 --> 00:33:47,378 as that one special year when the world got a present. 705 00:33:52,018 --> 00:33:55,586 I'm afraid there's no presents for us in the sack. 706 00:33:55,621 --> 00:33:59,156 I could give you a hug, and you could give me one back. 707 00:33:59,192 --> 00:34:00,558 Oh, man! 708 00:34:00,593 --> 00:34:01,826 [Engine starts] 709 00:34:01,861 --> 00:34:03,694 Bender: Freeze! 710 00:34:04,363 --> 00:34:06,430 Dudes can't hug in this town? 711 00:34:06,466 --> 00:34:11,102 You're under arrest for stealing Christmas. 712 00:34:11,137 --> 00:34:12,492 [Stammers] 713 00:34:15,631 --> 00:34:17,398 Officer Bender, Stinky P.D. 714 00:34:17,434 --> 00:34:19,834 I'm sorry, sir. I don't have my I.D. 715 00:34:19,870 --> 00:34:21,695 - Driver's license? - I forgot it. 716 00:34:21,718 --> 00:34:23,423 - Pilot's license? - Never got it. 717 00:34:23,447 --> 00:34:25,640 - Poetic license? - I, uh... What? 718 00:34:25,675 --> 00:34:28,501 If you don't have a poetic license, stop rhyming. 719 00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:30,778 All the poetry in this town drives me crazy. 720 00:34:30,814 --> 00:34:32,347 It takes me 4 hours to do paperwork 721 00:34:32,382 --> 00:34:35,516 because I can't find a rhyme for aggravated assault. 722 00:34:35,552 --> 00:34:36,651 [Sighs] Ugh. So... 723 00:34:36,686 --> 00:34:39,454 You have no I.D. on you at all. 724 00:34:39,489 --> 00:34:41,489 Wait. I do have this. 725 00:34:41,524 --> 00:34:43,258 See? See? 726 00:34:43,293 --> 00:34:45,660 Dropping trou in front of a police officer, son. 727 00:34:45,695 --> 00:34:48,563 You just got yourself in a lot more trouble. 728 00:34:48,598 --> 00:34:50,865 Stolen sleigh. Driving without a license. 729 00:34:50,901 --> 00:34:54,002 - No car seat for your baby. - I'm not a baby! 730 00:34:54,037 --> 00:34:55,536 And what happened to the toys? 731 00:34:55,572 --> 00:34:58,907 There were supposed to be billions of toys in here. 732 00:34:58,942 --> 00:35:00,708 We gave them to good girls and boys. 733 00:35:00,744 --> 00:35:03,344 And a few really rotten ones. 734 00:35:03,380 --> 00:35:05,747 Wait. Now, hold it. What's this? 735 00:35:05,782 --> 00:35:08,016 Trying to hide one from me? 736 00:35:08,051 --> 00:35:12,287 - Edison: I really wouldn't do that. - Don't tell me how to do my job. 737 00:35:12,322 --> 00:35:14,789 - I beg you to stop! - I beg you to shut up. 738 00:35:14,824 --> 00:35:17,258 Yeah. Let the man do his job. 739 00:35:17,294 --> 00:35:18,326 Aah! 740 00:35:18,361 --> 00:35:21,529 I was wrong. That's a pretty good invention. 741 00:35:21,564 --> 00:35:23,131 Thank you, Murray. 742 00:35:23,166 --> 00:35:25,066 [Crack] 743 00:35:26,169 --> 00:35:28,736 Glibble? 744 00:35:32,375 --> 00:35:34,208 So how did it go? 745 00:35:34,244 --> 00:35:37,078 I'm glad you asked. 746 00:35:37,113 --> 00:35:39,213 Oy. Not another musical number. 747 00:35:39,249 --> 00:35:41,816 Don't worry. It's the finale. 748 00:35:41,851 --> 00:35:44,519 ♪ We brought those presents. ♪ 749 00:35:44,554 --> 00:35:46,087 ♪ We brought those toys. ♪ 750 00:35:46,122 --> 00:35:50,491 ♪ We brought a merry Christmas to all the girls and boys. ♪ 751 00:35:50,527 --> 00:35:52,226 And some real little stinkers. 752 00:35:52,262 --> 00:35:53,828 ♪ Let's hear it for Murray! ♪ 753 00:35:53,863 --> 00:35:54,996 Crowd: ♪ Hip, hip, hooray! ♪ 754 00:35:55,031 --> 00:35:58,499 ♪ Now it's time to play, it's Christmas day. ♪ 755 00:35:58,535 --> 00:36:01,169 - ♪ Oh, it's time to play. ♪ - ♪ Why? ♪ 756 00:36:01,204 --> 00:36:02,503 ♪ It's Christmas day. ♪ 757 00:36:02,539 --> 00:36:03,504 That's right. 758 00:36:03,540 --> 00:36:05,173 ♪ Oh, it's time to play. ♪ ♪ Already? ♪ 759 00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:06,741 It's Christmas day... ♪ 760 00:36:06,776 --> 00:36:08,009 Groundhog: Wait! Wait! Wait! 761 00:36:08,044 --> 00:36:09,110 What about Santa Claus? 762 00:36:09,145 --> 00:36:12,413 Oh. I just checked on Santa. And he's on the mend. 763 00:36:12,449 --> 00:36:16,851 He's spending Christmas at home with a friend. 764 00:36:16,886 --> 00:36:19,821 I am Queen Hanna of Bananaland. 765 00:36:19,856 --> 00:36:23,958 No! I am Queen Hanna of Bananaland. 766 00:36:23,994 --> 00:36:26,894 - No, I am! - No, I am. 767 00:36:26,930 --> 00:36:28,096 Take it, elves! 768 00:36:28,131 --> 00:36:29,497 ♪ ♪ 769 00:36:29,532 --> 00:36:33,868 Elves: ♪ oh, we play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play. ♪ 770 00:36:33,903 --> 00:36:40,475 ♪ Oh, we play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play on Christmas day. ♪ 771 00:36:40,510 --> 00:36:42,243 - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! Yeah! 772 00:36:42,278 --> 00:36:43,244 Whee! 773 00:36:43,279 --> 00:36:45,680 ♪ It's too bad Santa hurt his head. ♪ 774 00:36:45,715 --> 00:36:48,149 ♪ And we're pretty happy he's not dead. ♪ 775 00:36:48,184 --> 00:36:53,621 ♪ But as long as he is stuck in bed... ♪ 776 00:36:53,656 --> 00:36:58,092 Elves: ♪ Let's play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play. ♪ 777 00:36:58,128 --> 00:37:00,128 Easter Bunny is in the house! 778 00:37:00,163 --> 00:37:00,962 ♪ Ah-huh-huh. ♪ 779 00:37:00,997 --> 00:37:02,163 ♪ Christmas with my honey bunny. ♪ 780 00:37:02,198 --> 00:37:03,398 ♪ Got to spend some money-money. ♪ 781 00:37:03,433 --> 00:37:05,366 ♪ Baby, won't you buy me bling? ♪ 782 00:37:05,402 --> 00:37:08,069 ♪ Baby, here's an 18-karat ring. ♪ 783 00:37:08,104 --> 00:37:09,370 ♪ Ha ha! ♪ 784 00:37:09,406 --> 00:37:10,738 All: ♪ Hip hop! ♪ 785 00:37:10,774 --> 00:37:11,906 Your turn, Groundhog. 786 00:37:11,941 --> 00:37:14,609 Oh, no. No, I... I can't really enjoy Christmas. 787 00:37:14,644 --> 00:37:16,411 I mean, the whole time I'm thinking, 788 00:37:16,446 --> 00:37:18,012 tomorrow, Christmas will be over 789 00:37:18,048 --> 00:37:18,913 and then for a minute, 790 00:37:18,948 --> 00:37:22,216 suddenly, Christmas is 364 days away, 791 00:37:22,252 --> 00:37:23,985 365 during a leap year. 792 00:37:24,020 --> 00:37:28,356 And what? What's everybody looking at? 793 00:37:29,059 --> 00:37:31,092 My shadow! 794 00:37:31,561 --> 00:37:33,561 ♪ I saw my shadow. ♪ 795 00:37:33,596 --> 00:37:35,329 ♪ You know what that means. ♪ 796 00:37:35,365 --> 00:37:39,967 ♪ All this snow is gonna go and things are turning green. ♪ 797 00:37:40,003 --> 00:37:42,904 ♪ Winter is ending and spring's on the way. ♪ 798 00:37:42,939 --> 00:37:47,475 ♪ But till then, enjoy this Christmas day. ♪ 799 00:37:47,510 --> 00:37:48,309 [Cheering] 800 00:37:48,344 --> 00:37:50,578 Ok! Murray, bring it home! 801 00:37:50,613 --> 00:37:52,346 No. I don't like to sing. 802 00:37:52,382 --> 00:37:53,948 Come on. You can do it. 803 00:37:53,983 --> 00:37:55,716 - No, I can't. - Please? 804 00:37:55,752 --> 00:37:57,351 - No. - Please? Please? 805 00:37:57,387 --> 00:37:59,053 - No. - Crowd: Please? 806 00:37:59,089 --> 00:38:00,154 - No! - Please? 807 00:38:00,190 --> 00:38:02,623 I can't sing, I can't sing. I can't... 808 00:38:02,659 --> 00:38:06,961 ♪ Sing! ♪ 809 00:38:06,996 --> 00:38:08,296 [Lens breaks] 810 00:38:08,331 --> 00:38:11,232 Well, maybe I can sing a little. 811 00:38:12,168 --> 00:38:17,438 ♪ My life was empty and at an end. ♪ 812 00:38:17,474 --> 00:38:22,243 ♪ I could make a sandwich but I couldn't make a friend. ♪ 813 00:38:22,278 --> 00:38:27,014 ♪ But thanks to this guy I'm filled with glee. ♪ 814 00:38:27,050 --> 00:38:32,086 ♪ His best invention was a whole new me. ♪ 815 00:38:32,122 --> 00:38:33,754 ♪ Now I'm happy and gay. ♪ 816 00:38:33,790 --> 00:38:36,591 - When? - ♪ On Christmas day. ♪ 817 00:38:36,626 --> 00:38:37,925 ♪ Yes, I'm ever so gay. ♪ 818 00:38:37,961 --> 00:38:40,495 - When? - ♪ On Christmas day. ♪ 819 00:38:40,530 --> 00:38:44,699 ♪ I'm incredibly gay. Gay as the month of May. ♪ 820 00:38:44,734 --> 00:38:50,271 ♪ Gay, gay, gay, gay, I'm so gay. ♪ 821 00:38:50,707 --> 00:38:53,307 ♪ I don't mean in that way. ♪ 822 00:38:53,343 --> 00:38:54,775 ♪ That way is ok. ♪ 823 00:38:54,811 --> 00:38:56,844 ♪ What I'm trying to say... ♪ 824 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,846 ♪ Oh, forget it, oy, vey! ♪ 825 00:38:58,882 --> 00:39:00,681 You want to get out of here? 826 00:39:00,717 --> 00:39:01,916 Sure. When? 827 00:39:01,951 --> 00:39:04,051 About 10 minutes ago. 828 00:39:08,591 --> 00:39:10,224 You. 829 00:39:10,827 --> 00:39:12,059 You look great. 830 00:39:12,095 --> 00:39:15,429 I had a big restoration back in the eighties. 831 00:39:15,465 --> 00:39:16,864 What are you doing here? 832 00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:18,799 I heard you saved Christmas. 833 00:39:18,835 --> 00:39:20,835 That's the Murray I used to know. 834 00:39:20,870 --> 00:39:22,737 Libby, how could you come back to me 835 00:39:22,772 --> 00:39:25,439 after the way I treated you, after all these years? 836 00:39:25,475 --> 00:39:30,778 Murray, no one can carry a torch like me. 837 00:39:30,813 --> 00:39:31,879 Mm! 838 00:39:31,915 --> 00:39:33,114 I missed you. 839 00:39:33,149 --> 00:39:35,449 [Scoffs] Sure. Her he'll hug. 840 00:39:35,485 --> 00:39:37,785 I haven't forgotten you. 841 00:39:37,820 --> 00:39:38,753 Ahh. 842 00:39:38,788 --> 00:39:41,756 All right. That's enough. Enough! 843 00:39:41,791 --> 00:39:43,624 All right. Maybe a little more. 844 00:39:43,660 --> 00:39:44,559 [Crunch] Stop! 845 00:39:44,594 --> 00:39:47,228 Statue of Liberty, Edison Elf. 846 00:39:47,263 --> 00:39:49,564 The two of you saved myself from myself. 847 00:39:49,599 --> 00:39:51,666 Statue of Liberty: Oh, pleased to meet you. 848 00:39:51,701 --> 00:39:52,500 Big fan. 849 00:39:52,535 --> 00:39:55,102 Now, who wants to go on a sleigh ride? 850 00:39:55,138 --> 00:39:57,505 - Me! - Me! Me! Me! 851 00:39:57,540 --> 00:40:00,908 Murray: On, Lipstick and Dipstick. On, Pixie and Dixie. 852 00:40:00,944 --> 00:40:04,412 On, Kramden and Norton and Alice and Trixie. 853 00:40:04,447 --> 00:40:07,648 Narrator: And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight... 854 00:40:07,684 --> 00:40:12,720 Murray: Murray Christmas to all and to all a good night! 855 00:40:17,608 --> 00:40:19,743 Narrator: And as Murray Weiner sailed off in the sky, 856 00:40:19,778 --> 00:40:23,013 the people of Stinky Cigars waved good-bye. 857 00:40:23,048 --> 00:40:26,183 - Au revoir, mon cheri. - Don't be a stranger! 858 00:40:26,218 --> 00:40:28,852 - Grazie, Murray. - Thank you, Lone Ranger. 859 00:40:28,887 --> 00:40:31,288 Narrator: Edison Elf would go on to get work, 860 00:40:31,323 --> 00:40:33,924 selling his stuff on the Elf Shopping Network. 861 00:40:33,959 --> 00:40:37,160 Edison on TV: My latest invention gives diapers a voice. 862 00:40:37,196 --> 00:40:40,130 It tells you it's wet with the song of your choice. 863 00:40:40,165 --> 00:40:44,334 Recording: ♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot... ♪ 864 00:40:44,369 --> 00:40:47,170 That is amazing! 865 00:40:47,206 --> 00:40:49,739 [Hums] 866 00:40:49,775 --> 00:40:52,542 Narrator: And Murray would start every day with a smile. 867 00:40:52,578 --> 00:40:55,178 He became a new man. Well, at least for a while. 868 00:40:55,214 --> 00:40:57,914 We'd like to split a pastrami sandwich. 869 00:40:57,950 --> 00:40:59,883 - With mayonnaise. - On white bread. 870 00:40:59,918 --> 00:41:01,218 Lincoln: And could you cut the crusts off? 871 00:41:01,253 --> 00:41:04,187 Washington: And we get the senior citizen discount. 872 00:41:04,223 --> 00:41:05,822 Lincoln: I have a coupon. 873 00:41:05,857 --> 00:41:08,158 Get out! 874 00:41:08,193 --> 00:41:10,493 [Chuckles] Murray. 875 00:41:10,529 --> 00:41:11,761 [Hums] 876 00:41:11,797 --> 00:41:14,331 And so ends our story. That's all that you get. 877 00:41:14,366 --> 00:41:15,966 Recording: ♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot... ♪ 878 00:41:16,001 --> 00:41:18,535 I'd love to say more, but my diaper's wet. 879 00:41:18,570 --> 00:41:19,902 Happy New Year, y'all. 880 00:41:20,657 --> 00:41:24,168 Sync, corrected by icephoenix www.addic7ed.com