1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,640
Imagine yourself on a beach.
2
00:00:03,675 --> 00:00:04,605
Probably the Hamptons.
3
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,900
It doesn't have to be the Hamptons,
4
00:00:05,935 --> 00:00:07,125
but something fabulous like that.
5
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,920
The Hamptons... let's choose the Hamptons.
6
00:00:08,955 --> 00:00:10,920
Let's do that together.
7
00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:11,965
Mmm...
8
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,000
Now feel the sand under your feet.
9
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:16,165
Okay, Dana. Let's do this.
10
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,445
Beach, sand, it's under my feet,
11
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,040
and now it's in my bathing
suit and somehow in my mouth.
12
00:00:22,075 --> 00:00:24,360
How does it even get there? Dana, focus!
13
00:00:24,395 --> 00:00:25,765
Why did I agree to do this?
14
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,720
I can think of a hundred
other floor activities
15
00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,085
that would be better than this.
16
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,560
If any thoughts come up,
just let them fade away.
17
00:00:31,595 --> 00:00:32,857
Now relax.
18
00:00:32,892 --> 00:00:34,085
Relaxing.
19
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,685
Not a thought in my mind,
20
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,040
except the fact that there's
not a thought in my mind.
21
00:00:39,075 --> 00:00:40,200
How's Peter doing?
22
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,200
No, it doesn't matter 'cause
it's not a competition.
23
00:00:42,235 --> 00:00:44,405
Don't look.
24
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,280
Damn. He's good.
25
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,800
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
26
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,960
Can I help you?
27
00:00:58,995 --> 00:01:00,685
Oh, I'm Dana.
28
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,140
Good for you, honey.
29
00:01:02,175 --> 00:01:03,560
I'm Peter's girlfriend.
30
00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:04,805
And...?
31
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,920
That's the first time
I've said that out loud.
32
00:01:06,955 --> 00:01:08,637
And I was there.
33
00:01:08,672 --> 00:01:10,285
Geez Louise.
34
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,800
Hey. There you are.
35
00:01:11,835 --> 00:01:13,165
Hey. Mwah.
36
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,240
Here, give me just a minute
to send a couple of e-mails,
37
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,205
and we'll get out of here.
38
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,920
Slash close this online poker window
39
00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:19,880
I have open.
40
00:01:19,915 --> 00:01:21,285
Hey.
41
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:23,000
Got a surprise for you.
42
00:01:23,035 --> 00:01:24,965
Aw.
43
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,845
- "Almost famous"?
- "Almost famous."
44
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,780
Yeah, they're having a screening
at the Nitehawk on Sunday.
45
00:01:29,815 --> 00:01:31,680
And I know it's, like, one of
your favorite movies, right?
46
00:01:31,715 --> 00:01:34,760
I can't this weekend. I have a thing.
47
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:35,485
Oh.
48
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:36,685
Just lie.
49
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,160
It'll never come back to haunt you.
50
00:01:38,195 --> 00:01:39,045
It's work.
51
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,540
Ohh. Conference.
52
00:01:40,575 --> 00:01:41,965
Way out of the city.
53
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,405
- Really? Where?
- Like, Rhinebeck?
54
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,260
Rhine... Rhinebeck?
It's beautiful up there!
55
00:01:46,295 --> 00:01:48,080
So, listen, if you're up there all weekend,
56
00:01:48,115 --> 00:01:49,720
I mean, I'm not doing anything.
57
00:01:49,755 --> 00:01:51,605
He said suggestively,
58
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,560
waiting for Dana to take the hint.
59
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:59,600
Then... she said,
60
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:01,600
getting the hint...
61
00:02:01,635 --> 00:02:02,525
Mm-hmm.
62
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,760
You should come.
63
00:02:04,795 --> 00:02:06,337
Great.
64
00:02:06,372 --> 00:02:07,845
Hotel sex!
65
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,405
And it came back to haunt me.
66
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:11,640
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
67
00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:12,840
When did you start doing this again?
68
00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:14,325
I never actually stopped.
69
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,520
But you told me that
you quit after college.
70
00:02:16,555 --> 00:02:18,045
I know. I'm sorry. I lied.
71
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,845
But it's just... it's
part of who I am, Amy.
72
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,840
Well, how do you even find
those people to do it with?
73
00:02:23,875 --> 00:02:24,685
Oh, it's easy.
74
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,680
There's these websites with these...
75
00:02:26,715 --> 00:02:27,685
I can't.
76
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,600
No. Save it. I shouldn't have asked.
77
00:02:29,635 --> 00:02:31,485
Why is hotel sex so great?
78
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,440
Oh, because you can't
see the people's faces.
79
00:02:33,475 --> 00:02:34,485
You just hear their voices.
80
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,200
So you have to imagine what they look like.
81
00:02:36,235 --> 00:02:38,017
And in your mind, they're the...
82
00:02:38,052 --> 00:02:39,765
See, I was talking about having it.
83
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,240
Oh. Maybe because someone
else does the cleaning up?
84
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,120
I'm holding in my hand...
85
00:02:45,155 --> 00:02:46,160
A fax.
86
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,125
Yeah.
87
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,720
So it's either from grandma Toby...
88
00:02:49,755 --> 00:02:50,837
Nope. Well, it's not blank.
89
00:02:50,872 --> 00:02:51,836
So... oh, Coach Reisner.
90
00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:52,765
- Coach Reisner.
- Yep.
91
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,160
It's that time of year again, boys.
92
00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:55,125
One hour of sheer hell
93
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,800
with your former high-school coach
94
00:02:56,835 --> 00:02:58,697
and 75 tournaments' worth of trophies.
95
00:02:58,732 --> 00:03:00,525
Oh, come on. Coach isn't that bad.
96
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,805
Compared to what, an industrial accident?
97
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,080
Yeah, this event is my
favorite time of the year.
98
00:03:05,115 --> 00:03:06,285
I just can't wait for tomorrow.
99
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,000
Tomorrow? Oh, crap. I'm
gonna be out of town.
100
00:03:08,035 --> 00:03:09,445
What?! No, you have to be here.
101
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,120
Coach is never gonna buy trophies from me.
102
00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:12,717
Peter was the golden boy.
103
00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,216
Peter always got on base.
104
00:03:14,251 --> 00:03:15,645
Peter never dropped the ball.
105
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,640
Peter knew how to keep
his emotions in check
106
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,097
during "the star-spangled banner."
107
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,485
Look, guys, it'll be fine, all right?
108
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,400
I'll get on the phone, and
I'll work my charm from afar.
109
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,840
And, uh, it'll be like I'm here with you.
110
00:03:23,875 --> 00:03:25,177
Why doesn't dad just handle this?
111
00:03:25,212 --> 00:03:26,445
Because if there's one person
112
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,040
that coach hates more than David, it's Dad.
113
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,165
He used to stand there
114
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,080
and scream different
plays from the sideline
115
00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:32,085
until he got banned for life.
116
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,805
He had to watch my championship game
117
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,760
from across the street
with a pair of binoculars.
118
00:03:35,795 --> 00:03:36,645
Word to the wise...
119
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,640
don't sit across from a
school with binoculars.
120
00:03:38,675 --> 00:03:39,805
Thank God I got arrested.
121
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,605
I think that mob would have killed me.
122
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,920
Hey, ready to bring it
home with coach, Peter?
123
00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:45,960
Actually, dad, I'm not gonna be here.
124
00:03:45,995 --> 00:03:46,685
Well, we're dead.
125
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,560
Oh, thanks, dad. Thanks for
the real shot of confidence.
126
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:49,645
Dad, don't worry about it.
127
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,120
I'm gonna get on the
phone and butter coach up,
128
00:03:52,155 --> 00:03:53,597
and David can close this.
129
00:03:53,632 --> 00:03:55,016
"David can close this."
130
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:56,365
They're coming back.
131
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,405
The bad feelings are coming back.
132
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,000
Hey, buddy, don't go to that dark place.
133
00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:01,085
Here, you want your busy ball?
134
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,000
Yes. Huh? Here, get your busy ball.
135
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,485
That's emasculating.
136
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,405
What's so important that
you can't be here tomorrow?
137
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,360
Dana and I are going up to
Hudson Valley for the weekend.
138
00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:11,840
Oh. Oh, yeah. Time for a little hotel...
139
00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:12,925
Dad...
140
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,445
Uh, room service.
141
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,020
Seriously? I am 24 years old.
142
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,560
I know that people have sex.
143
00:04:17,595 --> 00:04:18,920
I even have...
144
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,200
- Get out of my head.
- No, no.
145
00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:23,805
Yeah, I love Rhinebeck.
146
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,480
It feels like a little pop-up book.
147
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,445
Wow.
148
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,660
Hey, so, you know, we made great time.
149
00:04:32,695 --> 00:04:34,840
If you want, before your meetings,
150
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,760
we could go antiquing...
151
00:04:35,795 --> 00:04:36,525
Sex.
152
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,680
...or hiking...
153
00:04:37,715 --> 00:04:38,800
Sex... Or sex.
154
00:04:38,835 --> 00:04:40,085
Sex!
155
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,240
Yes. On all of those.
156
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,040
But before any of those...
157
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,485
- Mm-hmm?
- ...Um...
158
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,005
There's something I have to tell you.
159
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,440
There's something that
you don't know about me.
160
00:04:48,475 --> 00:04:49,725
Okay.
161
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,805
Oh, my God. She has a kid.
162
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,680
And she brought me up
here to the countryside
163
00:04:52,715 --> 00:04:54,117
to soften the blow.
164
00:04:54,152 --> 00:04:55,485
I'm gonna show you.
165
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,000
I think that would be better. I'm gonna...
166
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,360
- Show me.
- ...Show you.
167
00:04:58,395 --> 00:04:59,365
Kid's in there.
168
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,760
Oh, she's gonna bring him out right now.
169
00:05:00,795 --> 00:05:02,657
- Are you ready for this?
- Uh...
170
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:04,520
This is all happening. Can I do this?
171
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:05,525
Can I be a dad?
172
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,000
Yeah, I'm ready for...
173
00:05:08,035 --> 00:05:10,440
Almost anything, I think.
174
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:16,925
Oh.
175
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,080
No way I could have called that one.
176
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,820
Spock?
177
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,227
Elf.
178
00:05:24,262 --> 00:05:25,565
Oh.
179
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,520
Be rational about this,
like Spock would be.
180
00:05:28,555 --> 00:05:31,440
That is why I came out here this weekend.
181
00:05:31,475 --> 00:05:32,797
I'm a larper!
182
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,085
I'm so sorry.
183
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,045
Or, hey, that's great.
184
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,680
Do you want me to explain what that is?
185
00:05:37,715 --> 00:05:38,845
Please.
186
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,520
That will save me a
fake trip to the bathroom
187
00:05:40,555 --> 00:05:41,760
so I can Wikipedia it on my phone.
188
00:05:41,795 --> 00:05:44,097
Okay, "larp"... uh-huh.
189
00:05:44,132 --> 00:05:46,846
...or "larping," as a verb,
190
00:05:46,881 --> 00:05:49,560
is a live-action role-playing.
191
00:05:49,595 --> 00:05:51,565
Oh, okay.
192
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,285
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
193
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,400
No, no, okay. You've
seen "Game of Thrones."
194
00:05:55,435 --> 00:05:57,480
Yeah. Boobs and blood.
Never miss an episode.
195
00:05:57,515 --> 00:05:59,840
Right. It is just like that,
196
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:00,725
except so much better
197
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,120
because we actually create the characters,
198
00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:03,525
and then we go and act it out.
199
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,520
It is like being dropped
into a "Harry Potter" movie.
200
00:06:05,555 --> 00:06:06,960
That sounds pretty great.
201
00:06:06,995 --> 00:06:07,925
It really is.
202
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,325
I guess I'm kind of a geek.
203
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,260
Now I don't have to hide it from you.
204
00:06:11,295 --> 00:06:13,125
Come on, it's charming. Seriously?
205
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,160
You know, now that I'm getting used to it,
206
00:06:15,195 --> 00:06:16,897
it's a little sexy.
207
00:06:16,932 --> 00:06:18,946
Oh, whoops. Okay.
208
00:06:18,981 --> 00:06:20,430
Did I kill the mood?
209
00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:21,880
Did I kill the mood?
210
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,165
Wait, what day is it?
211
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,405
Saturday. I have a meeting.
212
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,360
Ah. Thought I was losing days again.
213
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,725
Again?
214
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,645
So, what's this big meeting?
215
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,760
Peter and I have this stupid baseball coach
216
00:06:39,795 --> 00:06:41,680
who comes every year and orders, like,
217
00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:43,337
a million different trophies.
218
00:06:43,372 --> 00:06:44,960
And Peter's not gonna be there!
219
00:06:44,995 --> 00:06:46,765
So you'll handle it.
220
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,000
Okay, Coach Reisner is
this terrifying figure
221
00:06:49,035 --> 00:06:50,200
in my life, okay?
222
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,560
My first game in high
school... my first game...
223
00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:53,805
I drop one ball,
224
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,360
and coach yells at me in
front of the entire school,
225
00:06:56,395 --> 00:06:58,777
"you don't belong on a field in a uniform!
226
00:06:58,812 --> 00:07:01,125
You belong onstage in a pair of tights!"
227
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,640
So, who cares about
what happened back then?
228
00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:05,085
Come on.
229
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,005
So you don't bond over sports.
230
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,980
You are a confident, fascinating man
231
00:07:09,015 --> 00:07:10,920
with a thousand different interests.
232
00:07:10,955 --> 00:07:12,685
Like what?
233
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,340
Well, you're a hell of a dancer.
234
00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:16,527
You got a wicked sense of fashion,
235
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,680
an encyclopedic knowledge of musicals.
236
00:07:18,715 --> 00:07:20,085
Wait, do we need to talk?
237
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,360
About what? How much you've helped me?
238
00:07:22,395 --> 00:07:23,520
Because you haven't, really.
239
00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:25,285
Sorry.
240
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,200
Thanks for trying. Love you.
241
00:07:27,235 --> 00:07:29,400
Love you!
242
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,040
I hope I lose this day.
243
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,900
How long have you been doing this?
244
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,840
Um, I mean, I've actually been playing
245
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:41,957
the same character since college.
246
00:07:41,992 --> 00:07:44,005
She started as a scullery wench,
247
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,920
and now she is Queen of the lower realm.
248
00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,845
Wow!
249
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,680
Surprisingly good job
mobility in the Elvin world.
250
00:07:52,715 --> 00:07:54,520
Hir, Kayla, adon vereen.
251
00:07:54,555 --> 00:07:55,680
Ohh...
252
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,965
I like that guy.
253
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,040
Everyone, I would like you
to meet my squire, Peter.
254
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,565
Of trophyville!
255
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,040
I'm not acquainted with that realm.
256
00:08:06,075 --> 00:08:07,285
Oh, I was just...
257
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,920
so, you want to join in?
258
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,165
I mean, I could.
259
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,000
...Not imagine myself doing it less.
260
00:08:12,035 --> 00:08:12,920
You could be a mage.
261
00:08:12,955 --> 00:08:13,925
I don't think
262
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,685
that he could be a mage.
263
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,520
Whoa, bro. I could totally be a mage.
264
00:08:18,555 --> 00:08:19,560
What's that supposed to mean?
265
00:08:19,595 --> 00:08:21,405
What is a mage?
266
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,320
Look... okay, all right,
maybe... you can be a fighter.
267
00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:25,137
Yeah, super-strong.
268
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:25,885
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
269
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,240
The basics are you get hit in the limb,
270
00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:28,325
you can't use that limb.
271
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,040
You get hit in the torso, and you're dead.
272
00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:30,965
You can... you can do that.
273
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,460
You know what? This is your thing.
274
00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:33,920
I'm totally cool just hanging out,
275
00:08:33,955 --> 00:08:34,960
and we can grab dinner later.
276
00:08:34,995 --> 00:08:36,405
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
277
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:37,760
All right, we can play it by ear.
278
00:08:37,795 --> 00:08:39,760
Cool. It's an elf pun.
279
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,685
Uh, in the meantime,
280
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,600
there's a spectators area right over there.
281
00:08:43,635 --> 00:08:45,057
All right. Uh, have fun.
282
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,445
Never felt more secure
283
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,480
leaving my girlfriend with hundreds of men.
284
00:08:48,515 --> 00:08:50,840
Hey. Peter. Hey.
285
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,165
Oh. Hi.
286
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,780
Cheryl. First tournament?
287
00:08:53,815 --> 00:08:55,325
Yeah. You enjoying it?
288
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,000
Uh, yeah... it's interesting.
289
00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:58,897
Yeah, I just saw a guy fighting,
290
00:08:58,932 --> 00:09:00,760
uh, an invisible warrior out there.
291
00:09:00,795 --> 00:09:02,257
Oh, that was probably a bee.
292
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,685
There's lots of bees up here.
293
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,680
These kids... they drink a lot of soda.
294
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,245
Oh.
295
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,080
How long do these things
296
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,485
usually last?
297
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,440
Well, a quick game
usually goes 8 to 10 hours.
298
00:09:12,475 --> 00:09:14,320
But I have seen them go as long as 36.
299
00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:15,325
What?!
300
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,165
Buckle in. This helps.
301
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,360
What is that, hot chocolate?
302
00:09:19,395 --> 00:09:21,045
If the cops ask.
303
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,320
So, who are you here to see?
304
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,560
My son, Hans the despicable.
305
00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:26,325
Mm.
306
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,040
Well, he's not actually
on the field, though.
307
00:09:28,075 --> 00:09:28,845
He's in jail.
308
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,085
He stole some orc's gold, so...
309
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,400
So you drove your kid all the way up here
310
00:09:33,435 --> 00:09:35,400
just to watch him sit in jail?
311
00:09:35,435 --> 00:09:37,520
Yep. This helps.
312
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,245
Hey, you wouldn't happen to know
313
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,040
where I could get better
cellphone reception, would you?
314
00:09:42,075 --> 00:09:43,280
New York City.
315
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,125
All right.
316
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,485
No, no, that's all you.
317
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,240
You need it more than I
do. Your kid's in jail.
318
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,400
Looking good, sweetie!
319
00:09:55,435 --> 00:09:58,080
Art thou friend or foe?
320
00:09:58,115 --> 00:09:59,045
Friend?
321
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,405
You're trespassing in my kingdom.
322
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,120
Before you shoot, I have to warn you...
323
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,240
Why do they always make speeches?
324
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,000
Dana!
325
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,645
Hey.
326
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,520
How's it going? Are you scoring points?
327
00:10:25,555 --> 00:10:27,240
Whoa! Did you just kill that guy?
328
00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:29,125
Good job, babe.
329
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,900
Peter, you can't be here.
Hey, is there a halftime?
330
00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:33,047
'Cause I've got this
really important phone call,
331
00:10:33,082 --> 00:10:35,160
- and there's like
negative-three bars in... - Halt!
332
00:10:35,195 --> 00:10:38,840
Lady Kayla, who is your strange escort?
333
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:42,560
He is but a humble towns person...
334
00:10:42,595 --> 00:10:43,880
Passing through.
335
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,005
Oh, thank God. Finally!
336
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,040
Okay, look. Sorry,
guys, I got to take this.
337
00:10:48,075 --> 00:10:48,920
- It's work.
- No, Peter, you can't...
338
00:10:48,955 --> 00:10:50,320
The barbarian wields a glow rock.
339
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,080
Perhaps you should
leave the field of battle
340
00:10:54,115 --> 00:10:58,080
before thy conjugal bed is denied you.
341
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,240
Okay. That I understood.
342
00:10:59,275 --> 00:11:00,485
W...
343
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,925
Lady Kayla, I apologize,
344
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,960
but I must accompany you
and your traitor to jail.
345
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:06,285
Buddy, you're about to see someone
346
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,320
go barbarian on your ass if
you don't give me my phone back.
347
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:09,877
Peter! Please, you are making it worse.
348
00:11:09,912 --> 00:11:11,616
It's a glow rock 6. It's many moneys.
349
00:11:11,651 --> 00:11:13,320
Am I really gonna let myself get bullied
350
00:11:13,355 --> 00:11:14,840
by a dude wearing guy-liner?
351
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,405
Come on. Come on.
352
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,880
Coach is here. Get Peter on the phone.
353
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,120
He's not answering!
354
00:11:23,155 --> 00:11:24,405
What do we do?
355
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,605
Okay, I'm gonna suggest something.
356
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,880
It's gonna seem a little extreme,
but just go with me for a second.
357
00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:28,645
We get some gasoline,
358
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:29,805
we burn this place to the ground,
359
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,245
and then we collect the insurance money
360
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,800
and we live free of fear
for the rest of our lives.
361
00:11:32,835 --> 00:11:34,040
Coach, they're right in here here.
362
00:11:34,075 --> 00:11:35,325
Stupid Chloe!
363
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,860
Shh! I knew she'd betray us.
364
00:11:37,895 --> 00:11:40,325
- Oh! Reisner.
- Coach.
365
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,760
What's with the J.V. team? Where's Peter?
366
00:11:42,795 --> 00:11:44,040
What does J.V. team mean?
367
00:11:44,075 --> 00:11:45,965
David.
368
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,085
If you mean genius visionaries,
369
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,800
we're standing right in front of you.
370
00:11:48,835 --> 00:11:49,885
"Jood" one.
371
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,120
It's spelled with a "G," David.
372
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,500
All right, man, come
on. This is not a joke.
373
00:11:55,535 --> 00:11:57,720
I really need to get my phone back, okay?
374
00:11:57,755 --> 00:11:58,605
Nothing.
375
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,320
Oh, hey, Hans.
376
00:12:00,355 --> 00:12:02,000
Your mom says hi.
377
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,005
Just calm down.
378
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,380
We're gonna get out of here eventually.
379
00:12:05,415 --> 00:12:06,787
Or we could get out right now, okay?
380
00:12:06,822 --> 00:12:08,160
Okay, 'cause I've seen tighter security
381
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,240
at a ball pit at McDonald's.
382
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,120
I mean, this is just... this is one rope
383
00:12:11,155 --> 00:12:13,117
and an out-of-shape accountant
384
00:12:13,152 --> 00:12:15,080
who is wearing women's yoga pants.
385
00:12:15,115 --> 00:12:16,405
Sorry.
386
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,325
If you need to lash
out, that's on you, man.
387
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,360
Look, I just really need to
call in to this meeting, okay?
388
00:12:21,395 --> 00:12:22,680
This is actually important.
389
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,045
Dana.
390
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,525
Did somebody cast a silencing spell on you?
391
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,530
You're so oblivious to
what an ass you've been.
392
00:12:31,565 --> 00:12:33,465
I'm sorry, but when I
pictured this weekend,
393
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,580
I didn't picture dressing up
like an extra from "The Hobbit."
394
00:12:35,615 --> 00:12:37,820
Thank you. That wasn't a compliment.
395
00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:39,305
Nobody dragged you out here,
396
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:41,500
and I thought you, out
of anyone, would get this.
397
00:12:41,535 --> 00:12:43,100
It's just like your comic books.
398
00:12:43,135 --> 00:12:44,585
Graphic novels. And is it?
399
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,900
So, are you saying that it's better to just
400
00:12:46,935 --> 00:12:48,105
read about something
401
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:50,740
rather than to go and
actually experience it?
402
00:12:50,775 --> 00:12:53,340
It feels like a trap.
403
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:54,865
Be careful.
404
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,905
In my opinion... Yes?
405
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:59,940
You'd rather lie on a
couch and watch pro football
406
00:12:59,975 --> 00:13:01,540
than actually be a pro football player.
407
00:13:01,575 --> 00:13:02,620
Is that what you're saying?
408
00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:04,185
It was a trap!
409
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,620
I'm just getting him on the line right now.
410
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,917
Just a small technical difficulty.
411
00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:09,145
Just bear with me for one more minute,
412
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:11,940
and then we're gonna
get started. I promise.
413
00:13:11,975 --> 00:13:14,665
He never really was a
game-day player, was he?
414
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,420
Come on, there's more to
life than sports, Reisner.
415
00:13:16,455 --> 00:13:17,705
Is there?
416
00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,120
You know there's not.
417
00:13:19,155 --> 00:13:20,500
Answer, answer, answer!
418
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:24,780
Peter, hey. Where the hell were you, man?
419
00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:26,305
Schnel!
420
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,420
Na-vi Mae gin veduli chai
grolshelen cee mitzryan!
421
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:33,180
Annan agoreg pellannas.
422
00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:35,265
Lethio nin pitar!
423
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,860
Did you get all that?
I'm a little, uh, rusty.
424
00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,740
This is not a game to me.
425
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:40,985
This is literally a game.
426
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,500
Well, it's a game that I
can actually be myself in.
427
00:13:43,535 --> 00:13:45,540
Queen Kayla from the lower realm?
428
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:46,425
Yes.
429
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:49,225
And she's amazing. She's part of me.
430
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,740
I have spent years crafting this character,
431
00:13:51,775 --> 00:13:54,220
and I know it sounds really silly to you,
432
00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:55,660
but I've worked...
433
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,100
Very hard at it.
434
00:13:58,135 --> 00:14:00,465
And I love it.
435
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,960
You know what? You're right.
436
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:03,420
You're totally right. I'm sorry.
437
00:14:03,455 --> 00:14:04,665
You know what it is?
438
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,700
I got jealous 'cause they
wouldn't let me be a mage.
439
00:14:06,735 --> 00:14:08,620
'Cause I would be a great mage.
440
00:14:08,655 --> 00:14:10,425
Watch this. Sorcerer.
441
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:12,820
Lady Kayla, you are to
go with these adventurers.
442
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:23,140
Where are they taking you?
443
00:14:23,175 --> 00:14:25,420
Back to the game.
444
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:28,860
See you at the hotel, yeah?
445
00:14:28,895 --> 00:14:30,780
Yeah.
446
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:35,380
Uh, hey, man, could I get my phone?
447
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:36,385
It's kind of an emergency.
448
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:37,620
My brother really, really needs me.
449
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,745
You'll get it back soon.
450
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,340
Kayla has been sentenced to death.
451
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:41,665
Oh! Excellent!
452
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,300
Okay, cool. So the game's almost over.
453
00:14:43,335 --> 00:14:44,265
- Yeah.
- Great.
454
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,980
So we'll have time to lock down dinner,
455
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,660
and she can just get them next time.
456
00:14:47,695 --> 00:14:48,857
That's not how it works.
457
00:14:48,892 --> 00:14:49,985
After the sacrifice,
458
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,025
her spirit will leave these lands forever.
459
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,580
What, so she can't just,
like, start over or something?
460
00:14:54,615 --> 00:14:55,505
No, not as Kayla.
461
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:57,140
Dana's gonna be crushed.
462
00:14:57,175 --> 00:14:58,740
Look on the bright side.
463
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:00,225
What's that?
464
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:03,820
I'm hooking up with a wood sprite later.
465
00:15:03,855 --> 00:15:06,780
She is of loose morals.
466
00:15:06,820 --> 00:15:09,260
Oh, ye olde high five.
467
00:15:09,295 --> 00:15:11,665
Uh, so, in conclusion,
468
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:15,200
uh, we make... really good trophies
469
00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:18,700
because we're the best at t-trophying.
470
00:15:18,735 --> 00:15:19,785
Thank you.
471
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,185
Wow, that was crap.
472
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:25,140
I cannot believe you and Peter
came from the same father.
473
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:28,060
And, actually, I can't believe
he's related to you at all.
474
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,425
All right, uh, uh, Reisner,
475
00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:31,120
uh, Peter will be here on Monday.
476
00:15:31,155 --> 00:15:32,745
We'll get him on the horn, and...
477
00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:34,980
- Oh! Are you telling me how to do my job?
- No.
478
00:15:35,015 --> 00:15:36,780
Oh, because you did that once before,
479
00:15:36,815 --> 00:15:37,820
and it didn't end well.
480
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:39,425
Hang on a second.
481
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,260
Now, I know I don't
have Peter's athleticism,
482
00:15:42,295 --> 00:15:44,180
but I'm gonna win you over, coach.
483
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:46,020
I sincerely doubt that.
484
00:15:46,055 --> 00:15:46,785
You're wrong.
485
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,140
Something's changed within me.
486
00:15:49,175 --> 00:15:51,985
Something's not the same.
487
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:54,380
I just have to trust my instinct,
488
00:15:54,415 --> 00:15:56,317
close my eyes... and leap!
489
00:15:56,352 --> 00:15:58,185
Should I do something?
490
00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,680
Is your something better
than his something?
491
00:15:59,715 --> 00:16:01,140
It seems like it would almost have to be.
492
00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:02,297
Well, then...
493
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:03,385
Our trophies...
494
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:07,060
And you together are unlimited.
495
00:16:07,095 --> 00:16:10,700
Together, we will be a great team.
496
00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:12,585
Come with us, coach.
497
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:16,580
It's time for us to defy gravity.
498
00:16:16,615 --> 00:16:19,985
And no one can pull us down.
499
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:22,660
'Kay, first of all, don't touch me.
500
00:16:22,695 --> 00:16:23,585
Sorry.
501
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,660
Second of all, not bad, Cooper.
502
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,025
That is my boy.
503
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,380
Does he give a hell of a
motivational speech or what?
504
00:16:31,415 --> 00:16:34,140
That was not a motivational
speech, you dimwit.
505
00:16:34,175 --> 00:16:36,340
That was the song "defying gravity"
506
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:38,020
from the musical "wicked."
507
00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:39,197
How do you know that?
508
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,305
I'm a huge theater fan,
509
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,460
and I'm glad you finally took my advice.
510
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,065
Wait, what?!
511
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,665
You mean you meant that whole
512
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,140
"get off the field and
get on the stage" thing...
513
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,345
In a good way?
514
00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:52,305
Yes, you were a garbage ball player,
515
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:55,040
but you always had sort
of some sort of panache.
516
00:16:55,075 --> 00:16:57,740
Wait, are you buying
trophies from us or not?
517
00:16:57,775 --> 00:17:00,065
Yes, sure.
518
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,865
That was... anticlimactic.
519
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,460
So in the end, you're
gonna give us your business
520
00:17:04,495 --> 00:17:06,065
because I was true to myself,
521
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,700
and that's more important
than being a star athlete.
522
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:10,145
Oh, no. Oh, God, no.
523
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:13,020
No, I'm doing that because
I'm completely loyal to Peter.
524
00:17:13,055 --> 00:17:15,585
And as long as Peter works here,
525
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,540
then Cooper and sons can have my business.
526
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,300
I cannot believe you never saw "Wicked."
527
00:17:22,335 --> 00:17:25,100
I think I just saw "wicked."
528
00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:26,060
Ohh!
529
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,785
Hey, jailer.
530
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:33,180
Kid in here has a pretty bad stomachache.
531
00:17:33,215 --> 00:17:35,540
I fear it may be the plague of rivins-bin.
532
00:17:35,575 --> 00:17:36,505
I know it well.
533
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:38,380
Do you guys have a medic
or a... like a healer?
534
00:17:38,415 --> 00:17:40,260
Hang on a sec.
535
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:48,545
My sword!
536
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:50,460
And that's not all.
537
00:17:50,495 --> 00:17:51,945
My keys.
538
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,900
Don't be a hero.
539
00:17:53,935 --> 00:17:54,857
Yeah.
540
00:17:54,892 --> 00:17:55,916
And you.
541
00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:57,725
Hans, run!
542
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,465
Be free!
543
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,865
Oh, and, dude,
544
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:04,540
don't let your mom drive
after she drinks her cocoa!
545
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:13,460
Ambush!
546
00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:18,985
'Tis I, Peter, son of William,
547
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:23,940
House Cooper, and all-around
sword-wielding... guy.
548
00:18:23,975 --> 00:18:25,500
Look, you must release the queen,
549
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,137
or you will die by my hand.
550
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:28,740
- Not bad.
- Yeah, it is.
551
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,980
Look out!
552
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:35,340
- You should yield. She hit your sword arm.
- Nuh-unh.
553
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,660
- Yep. She hit your sword arm.
- Did she really?
554
00:18:36,695 --> 00:18:38,505
- Yeah, she did.
- Oh, man.
555
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:41,020
I'll have you know that the
sooner I can dispose of you...
556
00:18:41,055 --> 00:18:42,465
Peter!
557
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,860
...the sooner I can go back to the inn
558
00:18:44,895 --> 00:18:47,060
with my queen for some inn sex.
559
00:18:47,095 --> 00:18:50,060
Whoa, she's your sister?
560
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:51,985
No, inn sex.
561
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:54,580
Two words, man. Inn... sex.
562
00:18:54,615 --> 00:18:55,980
It... forget it.
563
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,260
No! Ohh.
564
00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:01,260
Bravo!
565
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:05,140
Are you not entertained?!
566
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,900
Ahh.
567
00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:13,180
Come on, this was pretty awesome.
568
00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:14,660
Whatever. Nerd.
569
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,460
Elf.
570
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,960
So, what happens now? Am I, like, a knight?
571
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,260
Are you gonna knight me? Give me powers?
572
00:19:24,295 --> 00:19:26,740
Wow. Peter, House of Cooper...
573
00:19:26,775 --> 00:19:27,945
Yeah?
574
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,900
...I'm afraid your fate
is somewhat different.
575
00:19:30,935 --> 00:19:32,185
What's going on?
576
00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:34,820
I'm trading you for six
of my men held captive.
577
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:37,337
Oh, what? What's gonna happen to me?
578
00:19:37,372 --> 00:19:39,785
They'll probably kill you, is my guess.
579
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:42,540
Yeah. I mean, you did take
out a bunch of their guys,
580
00:19:42,575 --> 00:19:44,300
and six is very flattering.
581
00:19:44,335 --> 00:19:46,185
All right. Okay.
582
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,580
Die well, treacherous worm!
583
00:19:48,615 --> 00:19:50,940
I'll see you at dinner.
584
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,825
Sorry again about
sending you to your death.
585
00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:00,740
Oh, it was a glorious death
for a warrior such as myself.
586
00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:02,457
Hey, have you seen my ears?
587
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,140
Every time I close my eyes.
588
00:20:04,175 --> 00:20:07,585
Ready for bed, milady?
589
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:09,780
Ohh, say it in that sexy way.
590
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,020
Yes!
591
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,900
If you ever tell anyone
how much this turns me on,
592
00:20:18,935 --> 00:20:20,020
I will divorce you.
593
00:20:20,055 --> 00:20:21,100
I understand.
594
00:20:21,135 --> 00:20:22,340
Okay.
595
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:29,860
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