1
00:00:00,907 --> 00:00:02,875
How do you call yourselves
a sheet music store
2
00:00:02,909 --> 00:00:05,143
if you don't have the soundtrack of Smash?
3
00:00:05,178 --> 00:00:08,113
Ugh, I know, it's like
a show choir hate crime.
4
00:00:10,583 --> 00:00:12,417
Hi, Blaine.
5
00:00:13,953 --> 00:00:15,254
And Dave.
6
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Don't tell me that we have to figure out
7
00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:18,090
alternating sheet music days.
8
00:00:18,124 --> 00:00:19,591
No. No, of course not.
9
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It's fine.
10
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,761
So, uh, I've been helping
Blaine put together
11
00:00:22,795 --> 00:00:24,630
- his Warblers song list.
- Oh...
12
00:00:24,664 --> 00:00:27,766
But it's just like pulling teeth
to get this guy off Broadway.
13
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,102
Or even off-off-Broadway, if
you know what I mean, right?
14
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(forced chuckling)
15
00:00:32,038 --> 00:00:34,006
Um, it's good to see you, Kurt.
16
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,275
(Carole King's "It's Too Late" begins)
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00:00:42,949 --> 00:00:47,586
♪ Stayed in bed all morning
just to pass the time ♪
18
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:49,588
♪ There's something wrong here ♪
19
00:00:49,622 --> 00:00:52,257
♪ There can be no denying ♪
20
00:00:52,292 --> 00:00:54,259
♪ One of us is changing ♪
21
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♪ Or maybe we've just stopped trying ♪
22
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♪ And it's too late, baby ♪
23
00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:05,604
♪ Now it's too late ♪
24
00:01:05,638 --> 00:01:10,275
♪ Though we really did try to make it ♪
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00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:13,612
♪ Something inside has died ♪
26
00:01:13,646 --> 00:01:15,981
♪ And I can't hide it ♪
27
00:01:16,015 --> 00:01:18,717
♪ I just can't fake it ♪
28
00:01:18,751 --> 00:01:20,819
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
29
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♪ No, no... ♪
30
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♪ Oh, no... ♪
31
00:01:23,089 --> 00:01:25,090
♪ No, no ♪
32
00:01:28,761 --> 00:01:32,397
♪ It used to be so easy
living here with you ♪
33
00:01:32,432 --> 00:01:33,565
♪ Here with you ♪
34
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,067
♪ You were light and breezy ♪
35
00:01:35,101 --> 00:01:37,236
♪ And I knew just what to do ♪
36
00:01:37,270 --> 00:01:39,538
♪ Now you look so unhappy ♪
37
00:01:39,572 --> 00:01:42,541
♪ And I feel like a fool ♪
38
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♪ I feel like a fool ♪
39
00:01:46,779 --> 00:01:48,914
♪ And it's too late, baby ♪
40
00:01:48,948 --> 00:01:51,250
♪ Now it's too late ♪
41
00:01:51,284 --> 00:01:56,221
♪ Though we really did try to make it ♪
42
00:01:56,256 --> 00:01:59,224
♪ Something inside has died ♪
43
00:01:59,259 --> 00:02:01,393
♪ And I can't hide it ♪
44
00:02:01,427 --> 00:02:03,862
♪ I just can't fake it ♪
45
00:02:03,897 --> 00:02:06,698
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
46
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:09,735
♪ No, no, no ♪
47
00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:16,408
♪
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na ♪
48
00:02:16,442 --> 00:02:19,111
♪ Na, Na, Na, Na, Na ♪
49
00:02:21,981 --> 00:02:25,517
♪ Oh, it's too late ♪
50
00:02:25,552 --> 00:02:29,688
♪ Baby, it's too late ♪
51
00:02:29,722 --> 00:02:31,690
♪ Now, darling ♪
52
00:02:31,724 --> 00:02:36,395
♪ It's too late. ♪
53
00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:42,693
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
54
00:02:42,735 --> 00:02:43,869
(school bell ringing)
55
00:02:43,903 --> 00:02:46,538
I ran into Blaine and Karofsky last night.
56
00:02:46,573 --> 00:02:48,874
Then I spent the rest of
the night having a fantasy
57
00:02:48,908 --> 00:02:50,542
about singing "It's
Too Late" all over town.
58
00:02:50,577 --> 00:02:51,577
Oh, no.
59
00:02:51,578 --> 00:02:53,545
Hey.
60
00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:56,381
Why don't we use Carole King's
seminal break-up album Tapestry
61
00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:57,716
as this week's lesson?
62
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,884
Yeah, it's brilliant, but, I mean,
63
00:02:58,918 --> 00:03:00,552
it's sort of a downer, don't you think?
64
00:03:00,587 --> 00:03:01,947
If we're gonna do a break-up album,
65
00:03:01,955 --> 00:03:03,922
then it has to be Jagged Little Pill,
66
00:03:03,957 --> 00:03:06,091
'cause it's modern and edgy and angry.
67
00:03:06,126 --> 00:03:07,593
And isn't that the kind of energy
68
00:03:07,627 --> 00:03:09,147
that we want these new kids expressing?
69
00:03:09,162 --> 00:03:11,230
Yeah, but I bet none of
these kids have even heard
70
00:03:11,264 --> 00:03:12,564
of Tapestry, and that's just wrong.
71
00:03:12,599 --> 00:03:15,334
And Mr. Shue was a little
obsessed with rap and Journey,
72
00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:17,069
but at least we all left Glee Club
73
00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:19,071
with a better understanding
and appreciation
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00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,006
of all kinds of music. You know?
75
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,909
It's our job to educate as well
as win competitions, you know?
76
00:03:23,943 --> 00:03:25,410
Maybe it was easier for Mr. Shue
77
00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:27,412
'cause he didn't have
a partner to answer to.
78
00:03:27,447 --> 00:03:28,747
I...
79
00:03:28,782 --> 00:03:30,415
I'm just, you know, getting worried
80
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:31,583
about this co-teaching thing.
81
00:03:31,618 --> 00:03:33,585
I don't want us to start hating each other.
82
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,921
Wait, why don't we do both albums?
83
00:03:35,955 --> 00:03:37,523
We'll make it a mash-up week.
84
00:03:37,557 --> 00:03:40,159
Think about it, uh, Jagged
Little Pill and Tapestry.
85
00:03:40,193 --> 00:03:43,095
Two great albums written
by great singer-songwriters.
86
00:03:43,129 --> 00:03:44,630
That's brilliant because
then we can educate them
87
00:03:44,664 --> 00:03:46,365
and get them fired up at the same time.
88
00:03:46,399 --> 00:03:48,200
We're so good! Yes, on fire, Rachel, fire!
89
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:49,668
You and me, together.
90
00:03:49,702 --> 00:03:51,703
(school bell ringing)
91
00:03:52,705 --> 00:03:54,106
Sorry I'm late.
92
00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:56,975
I think I got some bad sushi last night.
93
00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:00,846
I seriously did not get
off the pot until about...
94
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,482
15 minutes ago.
95
00:04:03,516 --> 00:04:05,050
So, uh, how was practice?
96
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,718
Uh, you know, amazing, yeah.
97
00:04:06,753 --> 00:04:08,620
Only two guys passed out from dehydration.
98
00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:10,823
Well, you can't criticize the results.
99
00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:11,990
The guys love you.
100
00:04:12,025 --> 00:04:14,493
They work hard for you.
101
00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:17,830
Like I say, Miracle Whip
works fine on a burger, but...
102
00:04:17,864 --> 00:04:19,832
BOTH: You can't use it to skin a cat.
103
00:04:19,866 --> 00:04:20,999
Thanks, Coach, yeah.
104
00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,668
Um, no, I'm having the
time of my life here.
105
00:04:22,702 --> 00:04:25,404
I mean, if you asked me what
my dream was, like, right now,
106
00:04:25,438 --> 00:04:27,506
besides like, having one of
those, like, giant talking M&M's
107
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:28,807
and, uh, making it my pet...
108
00:04:28,842 --> 00:04:30,142
(chuckles) it would probably be
109
00:04:30,176 --> 00:04:32,144
to take over your job when you retire.
110
00:04:32,178 --> 00:04:33,345
It's, like, my ultimate fantasy.
111
00:04:33,379 --> 00:04:35,047
You could do it, too.
112
00:04:35,081 --> 00:04:37,649
You've got the gift,
Sam. That's why I've been
113
00:04:37,684 --> 00:04:40,319
entrusting you in running
practice couple days a week.
114
00:04:40,353 --> 00:04:41,520
Oh, hey, um...
115
00:04:41,554 --> 00:04:42,888
Are you, uh...
116
00:04:42,922 --> 00:04:44,323
Are you... are you okay?
117
00:04:44,357 --> 00:04:46,091
What? I-I mean, like I said,
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00:04:46,126 --> 00:04:48,727
I-I'm super grateful, um... but, frankly,
119
00:04:48,762 --> 00:04:50,662
everybody thinks it's
kind of suspicious for you
120
00:04:50,697 --> 00:04:52,331
to skip out of practice at all.
121
00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:54,166
Well, you tell 'em to mind
their own damn business!
122
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,168
Whoa, uh, nobody's
accusing you of anything.
123
00:04:56,202 --> 00:04:58,003
I... and definitely not me.
124
00:04:58,037 --> 00:05:00,172
Honestly, I'm, you know, I'm just...
125
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:01,206
I'm worried about you.
126
00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:03,709
It-it's my knee.
127
00:05:03,743 --> 00:05:06,011
Looks like I'm gonna have
to have it replaced again.
128
00:05:06,045 --> 00:05:08,080
And I'll probably have to
take off a couple weeks.
129
00:05:08,114 --> 00:05:10,082
Is that all? God, okay, I was worried
130
00:05:10,116 --> 00:05:11,683
it was something more
serious. I mean, like...
131
00:05:11,718 --> 00:05:13,085
Well, that explains the extra leg hair.
132
00:05:13,119 --> 00:05:14,553
It must hurt to shave.
133
00:05:14,587 --> 00:05:16,722
I've been trying to keep it hush-hush.
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00:05:16,756 --> 00:05:19,124
You know, I feel like
the-the team needs to see me
135
00:05:19,159 --> 00:05:20,159
as, like, Iron Shannon,
136
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,861
you know, this invincible titan.
137
00:05:22,896 --> 00:05:24,396
Hey, Coach... es.
138
00:05:26,266 --> 00:05:28,934
Uh... you got a second to talk
about the starters for Friday?
139
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:31,370
I'll post it Friday
morning, same as always.
140
00:05:31,404 --> 00:05:32,404
I want a shot at quarterback.
141
00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:33,872
You're my best receiver.
142
00:05:33,907 --> 00:05:35,707
I've been taking snaps
in practice for weeks.
143
00:05:35,742 --> 00:05:37,042
I came in the last four minutes
144
00:05:37,077 --> 00:05:38,157
of the game against Central
145
00:05:38,178 --> 00:05:39,378
and threw for four first downs.
146
00:05:39,412 --> 00:05:41,547
And no touchdowns.
147
00:05:41,581 --> 00:05:43,048
And you know why?
148
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:44,817
Because you didn't have you to throw to.
149
00:05:44,851 --> 00:05:47,119
I told you this 50 times.
150
00:05:47,153 --> 00:05:49,121
You take Fred Flintstone
off the brontosaurus,
151
00:05:49,155 --> 00:05:52,391
all he is, is Wilma
with a set of man-plumbs.
152
00:05:52,425 --> 00:05:53,665
Conversation over.
153
00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:59,131
Look, dude, man. Tough break, buddy, okay?
154
00:05:59,165 --> 00:06:01,600
I think you're like a
majestic knight riding a horse.
155
00:06:01,634 --> 00:06:04,536
If it were up to me, I'd give you a shot.
156
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:08,574
(school bell ringing)
157
00:06:08,608 --> 00:06:10,576
Okay, why don't I start it with the title,
158
00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,411
and then you can just segue into the theme.
159
00:06:12,445 --> 00:06:13,579
Or I could start with the title,
160
00:06:13,613 --> 00:06:14,947
and then we could both
segue into the theme.
161
00:06:14,981 --> 00:06:16,949
Welcome, everyone,
162
00:06:16,983 --> 00:06:18,984
to our very first Glee Club rehearsal.
163
00:06:22,522 --> 00:06:25,090
First, I would like to welcome
back our distinguished alumni
164
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:27,526
who have so graciously
agreed to stay an extra week.
165
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:28,960
So, thank you, thank you, thank you.
166
00:06:28,962 --> 00:06:30,929
Yeah, how exactly are you guys doing that?
167
00:06:30,964 --> 00:06:32,644
Oh, I can bend time and space with my mind.
168
00:06:32,665 --> 00:06:35,467
Okay, so, as you very well have heard,
169
00:06:35,502 --> 00:06:37,770
the glee club has a grand
and glorious tradition
170
00:06:37,804 --> 00:06:39,271
of starting each week with a lesson
171
00:06:39,305 --> 00:06:42,274
where we explore every
musical genre under the sun.
172
00:06:42,308 --> 00:06:44,109
But mostly Katy Perry and show tunes.
173
00:06:44,144 --> 00:06:47,012
Not this week. Rachel and
I are extremely excited
174
00:06:47,046 --> 00:06:48,781
to kick off this week's lesson with our...
175
00:06:48,815 --> 00:06:53,051
First musical lesson,
"Jagged Little Tapestry."
176
00:06:53,086 --> 00:06:55,954
Oh, look, finally some songs
about Rachel's hair extensions.
177
00:06:55,989 --> 00:06:58,469
Now, as you can clearly see,
we've combined the titles
178
00:06:58,491 --> 00:07:00,626
of these two iconic albums...
179
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:03,128
Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill.
180
00:07:03,163 --> 00:07:06,999
Which is celebrating its
20th-year anniversary.
181
00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:08,634
And Carole King's Tapestry.
182
00:07:08,668 --> 00:07:10,669
That-that's my favorite.
183
00:07:10,703 --> 00:07:13,472
So these two iconic albums are sort of
184
00:07:13,506 --> 00:07:14,740
like chocolate and peanut butter.
185
00:07:14,774 --> 00:07:16,308
Both... Or peanut butter and jelly.
186
00:07:16,342 --> 00:07:18,977
Okay, they're both different but amazing.
187
00:07:19,012 --> 00:07:20,579
You know, you could
say that they're sort of
188
00:07:20,613 --> 00:07:22,147
like the Reese's Pieces of music. Mm-hmm.
189
00:07:22,182 --> 00:07:24,149
Right? Or, if you don't
like Reese's Pieces,
190
00:07:24,184 --> 00:07:26,752
you could name another
candy of your choice.
191
00:07:29,189 --> 00:07:32,157
Okay, Kurt, why don't you now...
192
00:07:32,192 --> 00:07:33,872
Well-well, Carole
King's Tapestry is-is...
193
00:07:33,893 --> 00:07:35,594
you know, it's easy and informal,
194
00:07:35,628 --> 00:07:37,896
like you're getting a cup
of coffee with an old friend.
195
00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:40,199
BOTH: Team Carole.
196
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,233
Good choice.
197
00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:43,335
Okay, and Alanis is different.
198
00:07:43,369 --> 00:07:45,070
- You know, she's edgy and dark...
- Angry.
199
00:07:45,105 --> 00:07:47,039
Team Alanis.
200
00:07:47,073 --> 00:07:50,342
Yeah, and this is why we wanted
it to be your first lesson.
201
00:07:50,376 --> 00:07:51,510
Because, like Alanis and Carole,
202
00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:52,845
you can look at every situation
203
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:54,713
from two different
points of view, you know?
204
00:07:54,748 --> 00:07:56,849
It's about combining... I think
what Kurt is trying to say is
205
00:07:56,883 --> 00:07:58,917
that it's about working
together and using this lesson
206
00:07:58,952 --> 00:08:00,192
to grow as a team.
207
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:01,854
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
208
00:08:01,888 --> 00:08:04,089
What is it exactly you want us to do?
209
00:08:04,124 --> 00:08:06,692
Just sit and smile like
I did for three years.
210
00:08:06,726 --> 00:08:08,560
So, our weekly lesson is to find a partner
211
00:08:08,595 --> 00:08:10,696
that has a different style
than you and work together
212
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:13,432
to mash up an Alanis and a Carole song.
213
00:08:13,466 --> 00:08:14,767
Kurt and I will demonstrate...
214
00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:17,202
- probably tomorrow?
- What? We...
215
00:08:17,237 --> 00:08:19,405
- (quietly): Let me tell you something...
- why do you keep interrupting me?
216
00:08:19,439 --> 00:08:21,573
You're interrupting me,
and you're confusing them.
217
00:08:21,608 --> 00:08:22,941
You're confusing the hell out of them.
218
00:08:22,976 --> 00:08:25,544
SANTANA: Or how about
since you and Porcelain
219
00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:27,446
obviously have some issues to iron out,
220
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,082
Brittany and I will go first.
221
00:08:30,116 --> 00:08:31,417
- Thank you.
- Okay, thank you.
222
00:08:31,451 --> 00:08:32,951
That'd be great. (school bell rings)
223
00:08:32,986 --> 00:08:34,219
Quinn, can I talk to you for a sec?
224
00:08:34,254 --> 00:08:35,387
Artie told me that you said
225
00:08:35,422 --> 00:08:36,889
that Brown was not an Ivy League school.
226
00:08:36,923 --> 00:08:38,090
That's not what I said.
227
00:08:38,124 --> 00:08:40,059
I said it's barely an Ivy League school.
228
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,293
Becky.
229
00:08:41,327 --> 00:08:42,895
(groans)
230
00:08:42,929 --> 00:08:44,129
I thought you were in college.
231
00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:45,230
I am, idiot.
232
00:08:45,265 --> 00:08:47,566
I came back because I'm in trouble.
233
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,767
I need help.
234
00:08:48,802 --> 00:08:49,802
I met a guy named Darrell,
235
00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:52,404
and now he's my boyfriend.
236
00:08:52,439 --> 00:08:54,139
And I'm madly in love.
237
00:08:54,174 --> 00:08:55,240
Well, that's amazing.
238
00:08:55,275 --> 00:08:56,575
Shut up. I know.
239
00:08:56,609 --> 00:08:57,609
I brought him home
240
00:08:57,644 --> 00:09:00,412
to Lima so he can meet my parents.
241
00:09:00,447 --> 00:09:01,447
Okay, so what's the problem?
242
00:09:01,481 --> 00:09:03,315
Bitch! The problem is
243
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:04,583
that I lied to him.
244
00:09:04,617 --> 00:09:06,251
I told Darrell that I was
245
00:09:06,286 --> 00:09:09,154
the president of every club at school.
246
00:09:09,189 --> 00:09:11,490
♪ ♪
247
00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:22,634
Becky, that's an insane web of lies.
248
00:09:22,669 --> 00:09:24,103
I know, whore.
249
00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,105
But that's not the worst part.
250
00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:28,307
I told him that I was in Glee Club.
251
00:09:28,341 --> 00:09:30,442
Wait, why would you tell him that?
252
00:09:30,477 --> 00:09:32,678
Because he was in Glee Club in high school,
253
00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:35,647
and I want to impress
him by my singing voice.
254
00:09:35,682 --> 00:09:38,117
You got to let me sing at the glee club
255
00:09:38,151 --> 00:09:40,119
when Darrell comes to school tomorrow.
256
00:09:40,153 --> 00:09:41,353
Becky, we will do
257
00:09:41,388 --> 00:09:42,821
whatever it takes to help you.
258
00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:43,989
Thanks, Kitty.
259
00:09:45,659 --> 00:09:48,127
(sighs) You know, I am pretty sure
260
00:09:48,161 --> 00:09:51,063
that our fish ancestors
crawled out of the ooze
261
00:09:51,097 --> 00:09:53,065
and got legs just to be able to scissor.
262
00:09:53,099 --> 00:09:54,733
Well, actually,
263
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,568
scissoring was invented
by the ancient Egyptians,
264
00:09:56,603 --> 00:09:58,704
which is weird because actual
scissors weren't invented
265
00:09:58,738 --> 00:10:00,906
for many centuries after that. True story.
266
00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,641
(chuckles) You know,
267
00:10:02,676 --> 00:10:04,643
I have to say, I'm kind
of really digging this
268
00:10:04,678 --> 00:10:06,679
back-to-the-future
for Glee Club.
269
00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,981
If for no other reason than to mess
270
00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:11,517
with Berry and her sad gay.
271
00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:14,820
But I have the perfect mash-up idea
272
00:10:14,854 --> 00:10:16,322
for us to perform this week.
273
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:18,057
So do I. Okay, you go first.
274
00:10:18,091 --> 00:10:19,725
Three, two, one.
275
00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:21,527
"I Feel the Earth Move"
and "Hand in My Pocket."
276
00:10:21,561 --> 00:10:22,561
"You Oughta Know."
277
00:10:22,562 --> 00:10:24,029
No, see, you're supposed to do a song
278
00:10:24,064 --> 00:10:25,831
- from each album.
- Okay,
279
00:10:25,865 --> 00:10:28,000
but I refuse to be
restrained by the laws of man.
280
00:10:28,034 --> 00:10:29,835
I like to think outside of the box.
281
00:10:29,869 --> 00:10:31,503
No, listen. Okay.
282
00:10:31,538 --> 00:10:34,740
Aren't we here to help the
glee club get back on top?
283
00:10:34,774 --> 00:10:36,508
And don't you think that teaching the power
284
00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:38,744
of a mash-up would
totally contribute to that?
285
00:10:38,778 --> 00:10:41,080
Okay, I may be a genius, but...
286
00:10:41,114 --> 00:10:44,383
how can I argue with the logic
of your giant, generous heart?
287
00:10:45,552 --> 00:10:46,752
Come here.
288
00:10:50,056 --> 00:10:52,191
Ugh, ware so awesomely in love.
289
00:10:52,225 --> 00:10:55,094
- I would totally hate us if I
didn't know us. - I was thinking.
290
00:10:55,128 --> 00:10:57,896
I think that you and I should
live in New York together.
291
00:10:57,931 --> 00:11:00,566
You know? I-I want to
go back to college... NYU
292
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,568
or Columbia... And you can just go..
293
00:11:02,602 --> 00:11:05,070
Wherever I get in, genius.
294
00:11:05,105 --> 00:11:07,039
How much fun would it be
295
00:11:07,073 --> 00:11:08,240
to be back in school together again?
296
00:11:08,274 --> 00:11:09,274
(sighs) It'd be amazing!
297
00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:10,943
I love you, Britt.
298
00:11:10,977 --> 00:11:13,045
I love you, too.
299
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:14,713
I'm serious, I mean...
300
00:11:14,748 --> 00:11:16,215
living my life with you is
301
00:11:16,249 --> 00:11:18,050
one of the few things that's actually
302
00:11:18,084 --> 00:11:21,220
as good in real life as
it is in my imagination.
303
00:11:21,254 --> 00:11:22,755
Like rain in phones.
304
00:11:22,789 --> 00:11:25,891
(laughs) Exactly.
305
00:11:25,925 --> 00:11:27,559
I'm serious.
306
00:11:27,594 --> 00:11:30,829
You make me so happy.
307
00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:33,732
And I'm never going to
stop doing just that.
308
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:36,268
As a math genius, I am
one of the few people
309
00:11:36,303 --> 00:11:38,337
who understands the concept of infinity,
310
00:11:38,371 --> 00:11:42,341
and I will love you until
infinity, Santana Lopez.
311
00:11:44,477 --> 00:11:47,179
And I will love you until
infinity, too, Britt.
312
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,737
SUE: No, Becky, there's no way
313
00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:57,373
this wouldn't impress that
new boyfriend of yours.
314
00:11:57,407 --> 00:12:01,010
But, Coach, I feel bad that I lied.
315
00:12:01,044 --> 00:12:03,980
Oh, honey, all healthy
relationships are built on lies.
316
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:07,183
When I got married, I pledged to
be totally honest at all times.
317
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:09,018
And you know what?
318
00:12:09,052 --> 00:12:11,532
I'm pretty sure that's why
I ended up divorcing myself.
319
00:12:11,555 --> 00:12:14,190
(cell phone buzzing) Coach, he's here!
320
00:12:14,224 --> 00:12:15,658
Darrell's here!
321
00:12:15,692 --> 00:12:17,994
Ooh, can't wait to meet him.
322
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:21,731
This is when I campaigned against fracking
323
00:12:21,765 --> 00:12:25,168
with Mark Ruffalo.
324
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,903
Young man?
325
00:12:26,937 --> 00:12:28,671
Can I ask you a question?
326
00:12:28,705 --> 00:12:30,006
Yeah.
327
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,875
What are your intentions with Ms. Jackson?
328
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,043
Well...
329
00:12:34,077 --> 00:12:36,045
uh, today I intend to take Becky
330
00:12:36,079 --> 00:12:37,914
to Fuddruckers for lunch.
331
00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:39,916
Actually, Becky, we need to go
332
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:41,517
if we're gonna beat the rush.
333
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,852
I will bring the car around.
334
00:12:42,886 --> 00:12:44,587
Nice to meet you, Principal Sylvester.
335
00:12:45,789 --> 00:12:47,590
Aw!
336
00:12:47,624 --> 00:12:49,592
Isn't he dreamy, Coach?
337
00:12:49,626 --> 00:12:53,763
I'm so in love!
338
00:12:54,998 --> 00:12:56,733
(school bell ringing)
339
00:12:56,767 --> 00:12:59,435
(Alanis Morissette's "One
Hand in My Pocket begins)"
340
00:13:01,772 --> 00:13:03,372
♪ I'm broke, but I'm happy ♪
341
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,575
♪ I'm poor, but I'm kind ♪
342
00:13:05,609 --> 00:13:08,778
♪ I'm short, but I'm healthy, yeah ♪
343
00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,614
♪ I'm high, but I'm grounded ♪
344
00:13:11,648 --> 00:13:13,916
♪ I'm sane, but I'm overwhelmed ♪
345
00:13:13,951 --> 00:13:17,153
♪ I'm lost, but I'm hopeful, baby ♪
346
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,555
♪ What it all comes down to ♪
347
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,391
♪ What it all comes down to ♪
348
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:25,661
♪ Is that everything's
gonna be fine, fine, fine ♪
349
00:13:25,696 --> 00:13:28,631
♪ 'Cause I got one hand in my pocket ♪
350
00:13:28,665 --> 00:13:32,568
♪ And the other one
is giving a high five ♪
351
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,737
♪ 'Cause I got one hand in my pocket ♪
352
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:38,741
♪ I feel the Earth move under my feet ♪
353
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,577
♪ I feel the sky tumbling down ♪
354
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,012
♪ Tumbling down ♪
355
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:46,316
♪ I feel my heart start a-trembling ♪
356
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:51,287
♪ Whenever you're around ♪
357
00:13:51,322 --> 00:13:53,122
♪ What it all comes down to ♪
358
00:13:53,157 --> 00:13:55,258
♪ What it all comes down to ♪
359
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:59,963
♪ Is that everything's
gonna be quite all right ♪
360
00:13:59,997 --> 00:14:02,265
♪ 'Cause I got one hand in my pocket ♪
361
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:06,269
♪ And the other one is
flicking a cigarette ♪
362
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,304
♪ Yeah, I got one hand in my pocket ♪
363
00:14:08,339 --> 00:14:10,340
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
♪ Baby ♪
364
00:14:10,374 --> 00:14:13,042
♪ When I see your face ♪
365
00:14:13,077 --> 00:14:16,045
♪ Mellow as the month of May ♪
366
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,314
♪ Oh, darling ♪
367
00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:20,617
♪ Darling ♪
♪ I can't stand it ♪
368
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,885
♪ When you look at me ♪
369
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,488
♪ That way ♪
370
00:14:25,522 --> 00:14:27,790
♪ I feel drunk, but I'm sober ♪
371
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,526
♪ I'm young and I'm underpaid ♪
372
00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,962
♪ I'm tired, but I'm working, yeah ♪
373
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:36,699
♪ What it all comes down
to, my friends, yeah ♪
374
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:38,201
♪ Is that everything is just... ♪
375
00:14:38,235 --> 00:14:40,703
♪ I feel the sky tumbling down ♪
376
00:14:40,738 --> 00:14:41,838
♪ Fine, fine, fine ♪
377
00:14:41,872 --> 00:14:45,308
♪ I feel my heart start a-trembling ♪
378
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:49,913
♪ Whenever you're around ♪
379
00:14:49,947 --> 00:14:53,082
♪ I got one hand in my pocket ♪
380
00:14:53,117 --> 00:14:55,652
♪ And the other one
is playing a piano ♪
381
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,588
♪ I feel the Earth move under my feet ♪
382
00:14:58,622 --> 00:15:00,356
♪ What it all comes
down to, my friends ♪
383
00:15:00,391 --> 00:15:02,391
♪ What it all comes
down to ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
384
00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:04,060
♪ Is that everything is just ♪
385
00:15:04,094 --> 00:15:07,163
♪ Fine, fine, fine ♪
386
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,866
♪ 'Cause I got one hand in my pocket ♪
387
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,869
♪ And the other one
is hailing a taxicab ♪
388
00:15:12,903 --> 00:15:14,337
♪ I feel the sky ♪
389
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:18,471
♪ Tumbling down. ♪
390
00:15:18,506 --> 00:15:20,340
(all cheering)
391
00:15:20,374 --> 00:15:22,709
And that is how a
mash-up is done, everyone.
392
00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:24,410
No, actually this is.
393
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,746
Britt, can you take a seat?
394
00:15:26,781 --> 00:15:29,382
Okay.
395
00:15:29,417 --> 00:15:30,917
So, I figure that this is as good a place
396
00:15:30,951 --> 00:15:32,685
as any to ask you this question.
397
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,587
Um, mainly because it's gonna
398
00:15:34,622 --> 00:15:36,856
really upset all the single
guys and gals in here.
399
00:15:36,891 --> 00:15:39,826
But... I want to mash up
with you forever, Britt.
400
00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:43,096
I mean, some people love someone
401
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,664
because they make them a better person,
402
00:15:44,698 --> 00:15:46,366
and that's not why I love you,
403
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,735
because you've always just
wanted me to be myself.
404
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:51,071
You're my favorite
person in the whole world,
405
00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:54,207
and we're a big deal, you know?
406
00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:55,709
Like, no matter how many times we've tried
407
00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:57,544
to put our thing down
and walk away from it,
408
00:15:57,578 --> 00:15:59,712
we can't because I don't
want to live my life
409
00:15:59,747 --> 00:16:02,182
without my one true love. And...
410
00:16:02,216 --> 00:16:03,717
I normally use a lot of words
411
00:16:03,751 --> 00:16:04,851
when I'm saying something negative,
412
00:16:04,885 --> 00:16:06,186
so since this is the most positive thing
413
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:07,921
I'm ever gonna do,
414
00:16:07,955 --> 00:16:10,435
I'm gonna keep it simple.
415
00:16:11,759 --> 00:16:13,660
Brittany S. Pierce...
416
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:17,397
...will you marry me?
417
00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:20,533
Wait, what is happening?
418
00:16:20,568 --> 00:16:22,135
This kind of thing happens
in here all the time.
419
00:16:22,169 --> 00:16:23,169
Just go with it.
420
00:16:24,238 --> 00:16:26,239
Oh, my God. I would love to.
421
00:16:26,273 --> 00:16:27,774
Really? I would love to.
422
00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:29,488
(applause) Oh, my God.
423
00:16:34,181 --> 00:16:35,982
I'm sorry.
424
00:16:36,017 --> 00:16:38,918
I-I just have to speak now
or forever hold my peace.
425
00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:41,654
Um, normally you save that
kind of thing for the wedding.
426
00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:43,556
Did you learn nothing from me and Blaine?
427
00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:44,891
We're too young to get married.
428
00:16:44,925 --> 00:16:45,925
All of us.
429
00:16:45,926 --> 00:16:47,560
TINA: Um,
430
00:16:47,595 --> 00:16:48,728
as somebody who has lived their life
431
00:16:48,763 --> 00:16:50,730
jealously attacking
the happiness of others,
432
00:16:50,765 --> 00:16:52,432
even I can't hate this engagement.
433
00:16:52,466 --> 00:16:53,933
You guys are perfect together.
434
00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:55,068
Thank you, Tina.
435
00:16:55,102 --> 00:16:56,269
(applause)
436
00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:57,937
(indistinct chatter)
437
00:16:58,773 --> 00:17:00,573
(school bell rings)
438
00:17:00,608 --> 00:17:02,475
Wait, let me get this straight.
439
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,511
You want me to fire Coach Beiste?
440
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,012
I don't want you to fire her.
441
00:17:06,047 --> 00:17:07,914
I didn't even want to come talk to you.
442
00:17:07,948 --> 00:17:09,182
It's just... I've been really worried,
443
00:17:09,216 --> 00:17:10,817
and I felt like I had to.
444
00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:13,119
- She's been acting really weird.
- How so?
445
00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:15,021
Well, first, I noticed that Sam Evans
446
00:17:15,056 --> 00:17:16,790
had been running practices a lot
447
00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:18,291
because she's been absent so much.
448
00:17:18,326 --> 00:17:19,993
And also she started yelling all the time
449
00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:21,795
about the stupidest things.
450
00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:24,164
Listen, I-I can't just
fire somebody for yelling.
451
00:17:24,198 --> 00:17:25,832
I'm teaching a class
in pedagogical screaming
452
00:17:25,866 --> 00:17:27,434
over at the community college.
453
00:17:27,468 --> 00:17:28,835
I'd look like a hypocrite. No,
454
00:17:28,869 --> 00:17:30,136
but, listen, here's the kicker,
455
00:17:30,171 --> 00:17:32,639
last night, when Coach
Beiste was locking up...
456
00:17:32,673 --> 00:17:35,175
she was wearing this shirt
from the Victoria's Secret.
457
00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:37,209
Truck Driver collection that was, like,
458
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:38,612
five sizes too small,
459
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,447
and she was scarfing down all these drugs.
460
00:17:40,481 --> 00:17:42,849
She had, like, three
bottles of pills on her desk.
461
00:17:45,386 --> 00:17:47,621
Well, I appreciate your coming to me.
462
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,456
I'm actually quite envious
of all the snooping around
463
00:17:49,490 --> 00:17:51,691
you've been able to do without
detection. (Clicks tongue)
464
00:17:51,726 --> 00:17:54,361
It's like you're Batman, only gay.
465
00:17:54,395 --> 00:17:56,196
I guess it's like you're Batman. Look,
466
00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:58,698
she's a great coach, and I
don't want her to get fired.
467
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,300
All I'm saying is that if she did,
468
00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:02,669
Sam Evans could take over.
He's young, he's exciting,
469
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:04,838
and he's got a lot of
fresh ideas that could bring
470
00:18:04,872 --> 00:18:06,872
this football team another championship.
471
00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:12,512
(school bell rings)
472
00:18:12,546 --> 00:18:14,914
Kurt, I just... I don't
think you're being supportive.
473
00:18:14,949 --> 00:18:16,549
You're right. I'm not being supportive.
474
00:18:16,584 --> 00:18:17,824
I'm not gonna support something
475
00:18:17,852 --> 00:18:19,519
that I know from personal experience
476
00:18:19,553 --> 00:18:21,421
is a horrible decision that
they're going to regret.
477
00:18:21,455 --> 00:18:23,189
Oh, Kurt, can I have a word with you?
478
00:18:23,224 --> 00:18:24,557
Oh, um, I'm gonna go.
479
00:18:24,592 --> 00:18:26,059
No, Unibrow, stay.
480
00:18:26,093 --> 00:18:28,328
Kurt, I took what you said to heart,
481
00:18:28,362 --> 00:18:30,931
and I thought long and
hard about it, and...
482
00:18:30,965 --> 00:18:33,333
it occurred to me that
you may have a point.
483
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:36,169
Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young
484
00:18:36,203 --> 00:18:37,904
to get married. I mean,
485
00:18:37,939 --> 00:18:39,739
after all, that's why it didn't work out
486
00:18:39,774 --> 00:18:41,007
with you and Blaine, right?
487
00:18:41,042 --> 00:18:42,509
Or maybe it didn't work out
488
00:18:42,543 --> 00:18:44,844
because you're a judgmental
little gerontophile
489
00:18:44,879 --> 00:18:46,212
with a mouth like a cat's ass.
490
00:18:46,247 --> 00:18:48,047
Maybe Blaine got tired
of hearing your shrill,
491
00:18:48,049 --> 00:18:50,016
self-aggrandizing
lecture about how you felt
492
00:18:50,051 --> 00:18:52,052
the two of you were at the very apex
493
00:18:52,086 --> 00:18:54,354
of the gay rights movement
every time you so much as cooked
494
00:18:54,388 --> 00:18:56,189
macaroni and cheese together or farted.
495
00:18:56,224 --> 00:18:57,757
Maybe Blaine didn't want
to be with someone who looks
496
00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,192
like they just removed
their top row of dentures
497
00:18:59,227 --> 00:19:00,427
every time they smile
498
00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:02,696
or someone who doesn't dress like an extra
499
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,898
out of one of Andy Dick's
more elaborate wet dreams.
500
00:19:04,932 --> 00:19:06,700
Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating
501
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:08,702
a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray.
502
00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:11,204
Maybe he finally got freaked
out by your strange obsession
503
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:14,541
with old people that causes you
to skulk around nursing homes
504
00:19:14,575 --> 00:19:16,443
like one of those cats
that can smell cancer.
505
00:19:16,477 --> 00:19:18,078
Maybe he got tired of watching you
506
00:19:18,112 --> 00:19:20,547
drape yourself on every
piano you happen to pass
507
00:19:20,581 --> 00:19:22,949
to entertain exactly no one with,
508
00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:24,918
say, some song that Judy Garland choked
509
00:19:24,952 --> 00:19:26,553
on her tongue in the middle of
510
00:19:26,587 --> 00:19:29,222
or some sassy old Broadway
standard made famous
511
00:19:29,257 --> 00:19:31,291
by another dead alcoholic crone.
512
00:19:31,325 --> 00:19:32,893
Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said,
513
00:19:32,927 --> 00:19:34,327
"You know what, I don't
want to marry a sexless,
514
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:35,795
"self-centered baton twirler.
515
00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:38,265
Maybe I need someone who knows
more than three dance moves."
516
00:19:38,299 --> 00:19:40,800
The finger wag, the shoulder shimmy
517
00:19:40,835 --> 00:19:42,802
and the one where you pretend to twirl
518
00:19:42,837 --> 00:19:45,906
two invisible rainbow-colored
ribbons attached to your hips.
519
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,807
So, you know what, maybe
that's why it didn't work out.
520
00:19:47,842 --> 00:19:49,976
Maybe it has nothing to
do with me and Brittany.
521
00:19:50,011 --> 00:19:51,578
Maybe it's just that you are utterly,
522
00:19:51,612 --> 00:19:53,580
utterly intolerable.
523
00:19:53,614 --> 00:19:55,782
Maybe that has something to do with it.
524
00:19:58,460 --> 00:19:59,692
__
525
00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:06,469
It's gonna be fun. You know, you
just, like, tuck behind.
526
00:20:06,504 --> 00:20:08,138
BECKY: Yeah. Roll the arms.
527
00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:11,174
To the right. Turn to the right.
528
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:12,709
Clap. Turn to the left.
529
00:20:12,743 --> 00:20:14,144
All right, sluts, I'm out.
530
00:20:14,178 --> 00:20:16,980
Becky, we just started
practice ten minutes ago.
531
00:20:17,014 --> 00:20:19,482
I have a dinner date with Darrell.
532
00:20:19,517 --> 00:20:21,518
Look, Becky, if you're
too tired, just say so.
533
00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:22,652
You don't have to lie.
534
00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:24,220
I'm not lying, Tanya.
535
00:20:24,255 --> 00:20:25,689
But here's a lie:
536
00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:29,526
you guys getting in college. Oh. Oh, snap!
537
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,163
Freshmen 15s in the house.
538
00:20:33,197 --> 00:20:35,165
(knocking)
539
00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:37,901
There he is. Told you.
540
00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:40,103
Sorry, Becks, but we got to fly
541
00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:42,105
if we're gonna make our
6:30 reservation at Shutters.
542
00:20:42,139 --> 00:20:47,224
And you know they don't
like to hold a table.
543
00:20:47,258 --> 00:20:48,825
Deuces.
544
00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:50,894
Uh, nice to meet you. Hi.
545
00:20:50,928 --> 00:20:53,697
- I'm morally outraged. - Thank
you. I gained five pounds max.
546
00:20:53,731 --> 00:20:55,532
We've got to talk to Sue.
547
00:20:55,566 --> 00:20:57,868
Right. Darrell. Of course. Ugh.
548
00:20:57,902 --> 00:21:00,704
(school bell rings) Why
are you using Mounds bars?
549
00:21:00,738 --> 00:21:02,539
Aren't jelly beans more traditional?
550
00:21:02,573 --> 00:21:04,875
Mounds bars are the lesbians of candies.
551
00:21:04,909 --> 00:21:06,843
Jelly beans are the gays, of course.
552
00:21:06,878 --> 00:21:09,713
I used my better-than-yours
math brain to figure out
553
00:21:09,747 --> 00:21:12,182
exactly how many minutes Santana
and I have spent together,
554
00:21:12,216 --> 00:21:15,519
and I'm putting the mini
Mounds bars into this giant jar
555
00:21:15,553 --> 00:21:17,553
to give to her as an engagement present.
556
00:21:19,390 --> 00:21:22,592
I am so sorry that I
interrupted your proposal.
557
00:21:22,627 --> 00:21:24,261
I'm bitter. I have this firm belief
558
00:21:24,295 --> 00:21:26,096
that people shouldn't get
married until they're 30.
559
00:21:26,130 --> 00:21:28,699
But I believe in you and Santana.
560
00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:30,567
You remind me of Blaine and me.
561
00:21:30,601 --> 00:21:34,037
Except for the fact that she and
I are actually still together.
562
00:21:34,072 --> 00:21:36,406
I'd like to believe that
we're just on a hiatus.
563
00:21:36,441 --> 00:21:38,408
And I'd like to think that Lord Tubbington
564
00:21:38,443 --> 00:21:40,877
isn't secretly videotaping
me while I'm in the shower
565
00:21:40,912 --> 00:21:43,347
and selling it on Craigslist.
Doesn't make it true.
566
00:21:44,782 --> 00:21:47,217
(sighs)
567
00:21:47,251 --> 00:21:50,120
Okay, I hate to be the one
to tell you this, but, um,
568
00:21:50,154 --> 00:21:52,723
he's moving in with Dave Karofksy.
569
00:21:52,757 --> 00:21:55,092
You know, Blaine. Not Lord Tubbington.
570
00:21:55,126 --> 00:21:56,927
I was just helping them decorate yesterday.
571
00:21:56,961 --> 00:21:59,596
Wow.
572
00:21:59,631 --> 00:22:00,831
Yay!
573
00:22:00,865 --> 00:22:01,898
BLAINE: Where's the bed?
574
00:22:01,933 --> 00:22:03,066
BRITTANY: I had it removed,
575
00:22:03,101 --> 00:22:04,768
'cause when I pictured you two having sex,
576
00:22:04,802 --> 00:22:07,070
I imagined a U-Haul mounting a moped.
577
00:22:07,105 --> 00:22:09,239
You need to start getting over him.
578
00:22:09,274 --> 00:22:10,307
Okay, move on.
579
00:22:10,341 --> 00:22:11,808
Start seeing somebody else.
580
00:22:11,843 --> 00:22:13,810
I'm sure there's another
person in this world
581
00:22:13,845 --> 00:22:15,912
who will understand and appreciate
582
00:22:15,947 --> 00:22:18,315
your particular brand of eccentricity.
583
00:22:18,349 --> 00:22:21,952
I know, but I just feel like,
if I start seeing someone else
584
00:22:21,986 --> 00:22:25,055
or just even go on a date, that...
585
00:22:25,089 --> 00:22:27,090
I'll be admitting that it's over,
586
00:22:27,125 --> 00:22:30,260
and I-I... I don't want to do that.
587
00:22:30,295 --> 00:22:33,397
You know... (clears throat)
588
00:22:33,431 --> 00:22:35,766
these Mounds bars are delicious,
589
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,134
but you have to eat them.
590
00:22:37,168 --> 00:22:39,236
If you just hold them in your hand
591
00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:41,672
hoping that you might
get to eat them one day,
592
00:22:41,706 --> 00:22:42,839
they're going to melt.
593
00:22:42,874 --> 00:22:44,141
Then you'll look like
594
00:22:44,175 --> 00:22:46,610
somebody just pooped in your hand.
595
00:22:46,644 --> 00:22:48,278
Don't let waiting for things
596
00:22:48,313 --> 00:22:50,814
to maybe work out with
Blaine turn you into the guy
597
00:22:50,848 --> 00:22:53,048
who looks like somebody
just pooped in your hand.
598
00:22:54,886 --> 00:22:56,620
I have missed you, Britt. (laughing)
599
00:22:56,654 --> 00:22:58,822
I know. I am awesome.
600
00:22:58,856 --> 00:23:00,290
(school bell rings)
601
00:23:00,325 --> 00:23:01,825
What are you doing? What
do you think you're doing?!
602
00:23:01,859 --> 00:23:03,527
Sorry. I don't see what the problem is.
603
00:23:03,561 --> 00:23:05,629
The problem is, you're dating.
604
00:23:05,663 --> 00:23:08,332
Coach Sylvester's daughter
Robin, and she is not
605
00:23:08,366 --> 00:23:10,300
- okay with it. - Hey, Roz,
uh, we're not talking
606
00:23:10,335 --> 00:23:11,468
about my daughter Robin.
607
00:23:11,502 --> 00:23:12,970
We're talking about Becky Jackson.
608
00:23:13,004 --> 00:23:14,244
She's not my daughter.
609
00:23:14,272 --> 00:23:15,973
I thought your daughter had Down syndrome.
610
00:23:16,007 --> 00:23:17,474
My daughter does have Down syndrome,
611
00:23:17,508 --> 00:23:18,976
as did my late sister.
612
00:23:19,010 --> 00:23:21,311
However, Becky Jackson
does have Down syndrome,
613
00:23:21,346 --> 00:23:23,981
but she is merely my best
friend and confidante.
614
00:23:24,015 --> 00:23:25,549
Okay, so let me get this straight.
615
00:23:25,583 --> 00:23:29,486
Your daughter, your
sister and your best friend
616
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,656
all have Down syndrome?
617
00:23:32,690 --> 00:23:33,991
What?
618
00:23:34,025 --> 00:23:36,059
Okay, look, Darrell, Becky is our friend,
619
00:23:36,094 --> 00:23:37,527
and we have some questions for you.
620
00:23:37,562 --> 00:23:38,762
Like where did you even meet?
621
00:23:38,796 --> 00:23:39,930
At a Quiznos, actually,
622
00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:41,231
across the street from her college.
623
00:23:41,265 --> 00:23:42,833
She came in, and she ordered
624
00:23:42,867 --> 00:23:45,035
every sandwich on the menu,
and then she tried to pay
625
00:23:45,069 --> 00:23:46,670
with a $10,000 bill that she counterfeited.
626
00:23:46,704 --> 00:23:47,738
(laughs)
627
00:23:47,772 --> 00:23:49,940
I thought she was really cool and funny.
628
00:23:49,974 --> 00:23:51,575
We started hanging out.
629
00:23:51,609 --> 00:23:53,877
And when you "hang out,"
what exactly do you do?
630
00:23:53,911 --> 00:23:56,179
Probably the same things you do.
631
00:23:56,214 --> 00:23:58,448
You may find this
shocking, but it turns out
632
00:23:58,483 --> 00:24:00,384
that people with Down
syndrome actually like doing
633
00:24:00,418 --> 00:24:01,785
exactly the same things
that other people do.
634
00:24:01,819 --> 00:24:03,787
QUINN: We just want to
make sure that no one
635
00:24:03,821 --> 00:24:04,921
is taking advantage of her.
636
00:24:04,956 --> 00:24:06,757
What do you mean by "taking advantage of?"
637
00:24:06,791 --> 00:24:08,091
You know, like, doing certain things
638
00:24:08,126 --> 00:24:09,726
with her that might not be appropriate.
639
00:24:09,761 --> 00:24:12,129
Okay, why don't you guys
quit beating around the bush?
640
00:24:12,163 --> 00:24:15,399
Just ask me the question
you're obviously dying to ask.
641
00:24:15,433 --> 00:24:17,701
I'll ask. You having sex with Becky?
642
00:24:17,735 --> 00:24:20,737
No, we're not.
643
00:24:20,772 --> 00:24:23,407
Not yet. Our relationship
hasn't gotten to that point.
644
00:24:23,441 --> 00:24:25,742
But at some point, it might,
and if we did have sex,
645
00:24:25,777 --> 00:24:27,737
I-I don't see what's wrong with that.
646
00:24:27,745 --> 00:24:29,713
Are you kidding?! Everything
is wrong with that!
647
00:24:29,747 --> 00:24:31,381
It's gross, it's weird...
648
00:24:31,416 --> 00:24:32,783
Is it gross when you have sex?
649
00:24:32,817 --> 00:24:34,057
Don't make us out to be bigots.
650
00:24:34,085 --> 00:24:35,652
Becky is our friend. We're
trying to protect her.
651
00:24:35,687 --> 00:24:37,254
No, you're not. You're
trying to protect yourselves
652
00:24:37,288 --> 00:24:38,789
from something that you find uncomfortable
653
00:24:38,823 --> 00:24:41,391
because it doesn't fit
your preconceived notions
654
00:24:41,426 --> 00:24:43,260
about what a relationship is.
655
00:24:43,294 --> 00:24:45,829
You know, when Becky and I
first started dating, I actually
656
00:24:45,863 --> 00:24:47,431
called the National
Association for Down syndrome.
657
00:24:47,465 --> 00:24:49,232
- NADS? - And I asked them
that exact same question.
658
00:24:49,267 --> 00:24:51,401
You know what they told me? They told me
659
00:24:51,436 --> 00:24:53,603
there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.
660
00:24:53,638 --> 00:24:55,839
Guys, come on. You sit
there and you try and tell me
661
00:24:55,873 --> 00:24:57,808
that Becky doesn't have the
right to live a normal life
662
00:24:57,842 --> 00:24:59,142
just because she has Down syndrome?
663
00:24:59,177 --> 00:25:01,778
Well, I-I think
that's flat-out wrong.
664
00:25:01,813 --> 00:25:05,515
You should be the ones who have
to explain yourselves, not me.
665
00:25:07,685 --> 00:25:11,188
Wow. That didn't go at
all the way I pictured it.
666
00:25:15,653 --> 00:25:20,357
(King's "Will You Still
Love Me Tomorrow?" begins)
667
00:25:20,392 --> 00:25:24,261
♪ Tonight you're mine ♪
668
00:25:24,295 --> 00:25:28,999
♪ Completely ♪
669
00:25:30,969 --> 00:25:34,204
♪ You give your love ♪
670
00:25:34,239 --> 00:25:40,544
♪ So sweetly ♪
671
00:25:40,578 --> 00:25:42,680
♪ Tonight ♪
672
00:25:42,714 --> 00:25:49,586
♪ The light of love is in your eyes ♪
673
00:25:51,690 --> 00:25:58,829
♪ But will you love me tomorrow? ♪
674
00:25:58,863 --> 00:26:00,998
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
675
00:26:01,032 --> 00:26:02,132
MASON: ♪ Oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
676
00:26:02,167 --> 00:26:06,403
♪ I had no choice but to hear you ♪
677
00:26:06,438 --> 00:26:10,374
♪ You stated your case ♪
678
00:26:10,408 --> 00:26:12,376
♪ Time and again ♪
679
00:26:12,410 --> 00:26:16,480
♪ I thought about it ♪
680
00:26:16,514 --> 00:26:21,185
♪ You've already won
me over in spite of me ♪
681
00:26:21,219 --> 00:26:26,890
♪ And don't be alarmed
if I fall head over feet ♪
682
00:26:26,925 --> 00:26:30,327
♪ And don't be
surprised if I love you ♪
683
00:26:30,362 --> 00:26:32,396
♪ For all that you are ♪
684
00:26:32,430 --> 00:26:33,998
MASON: ♪ Yeah ♪
685
00:26:34,032 --> 00:26:37,167
BOTH: ♪ Will you still love me ♪
686
00:26:37,202 --> 00:26:41,338
♪ Tomorrow? ♪
687
00:26:41,373 --> 00:26:43,440
♪ Yeah... ♪
688
00:26:43,475 --> 00:26:45,542
♪ Tonight ♪
689
00:26:45,577 --> 00:26:47,611
♪ With words ♪
♪ With words ♪
690
00:26:47,646 --> 00:26:51,849
♪ Unspoken ♪
691
00:26:51,883 --> 00:26:54,084
♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ When the night ♪
692
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:55,519
♪ When the night ♪
693
00:26:55,553 --> 00:26:57,721
♪ Meets he morn... ♪
♪ Meets the morn... ♪
694
00:26:57,756 --> 00:27:03,027
BOTH: ♪ ...ing sun ♪
695
00:27:03,061 --> 00:27:06,030
♪ You've already won me over ♪
696
00:27:06,064 --> 00:27:08,532
BOTH: ♪ In spite of me ♪
697
00:27:08,566 --> 00:27:11,101
♪ And don't be alarmed if I fall ♪
698
00:27:11,136 --> 00:27:13,704
♪ Head over feet ♪
699
00:27:13,738 --> 00:27:16,774
♪ And don't be
surprised if I love you ♪
700
00:27:16,808 --> 00:27:20,944
♪ For all that you are
♪
♪ All that you are ♪
701
00:27:20,979 --> 00:27:24,481
♪ Will you still love me ♪
702
00:27:24,516 --> 00:27:26,951
♪ Tomorrow? ♪
703
00:27:26,985 --> 00:27:30,287
♪ You've already won me over ♪
704
00:27:30,322 --> 00:27:34,792
♪ Will you still love me ♪
705
00:27:34,826 --> 00:27:41,632
♪ Tomorrow? ♪
706
00:27:41,666 --> 00:27:44,268
♪ Yeah, yeah. ♪
707
00:27:44,302 --> 00:27:45,769
(song ends) Yay!
708
00:27:47,472 --> 00:27:50,574
RACHEL: Great job, you guys!
709
00:27:50,609 --> 00:27:52,743
I loved the enthusiasm and the emotion.
710
00:27:52,777 --> 00:27:55,779
Great kick-off performance. Yay!
711
00:27:55,814 --> 00:27:59,450
I think the singing could
have been a whole step higher.
712
00:27:59,484 --> 00:28:01,285
Mason, your cheerleader
713
00:28:01,319 --> 00:28:02,686
could have used choreography.
714
00:28:02,721 --> 00:28:04,488
You know, give it variety, complexity.
715
00:28:04,522 --> 00:28:06,190
Kurt, it was their first time.
716
00:28:06,224 --> 00:28:07,524
Have you forgotten what
the competition looks like?
717
00:28:07,559 --> 00:28:09,093
You're forgetting how hard Mr. Shue had
718
00:28:09,127 --> 00:28:10,494
to push us to be champions.
719
00:28:10,528 --> 00:28:13,264
Come with me.
720
00:28:13,298 --> 00:28:15,332
I am here, and you are
just sabotaging that.
721
00:28:15,367 --> 00:28:16,600
My problem is, you're just
722
00:28:16,635 --> 00:28:18,335
telling these kids what they want to hear.
723
00:28:18,370 --> 00:28:19,603
We are in this to win it,
724
00:28:19,638 --> 00:28:20,938
and we are a long way from it.
725
00:28:20,972 --> 00:28:22,806
Brutal honesty's our only hope.
726
00:28:22,841 --> 00:28:24,641
You know, these clashes
that you're creating...
727
00:28:24,643 --> 00:28:25,776
They are not proactive, and they're hurting
728
00:28:25,810 --> 00:28:26,810
the team, and right now,
729
00:28:26,811 --> 00:28:28,479
I think that you should just go home,
730
00:28:28,513 --> 00:28:30,514
and I'm gonna take it from here today.
731
00:28:34,853 --> 00:28:36,587
(school bell ringing)
732
00:28:40,492 --> 00:28:43,194
Shannon, you and I need
to have a frank discussion
733
00:28:43,228 --> 00:28:45,796
about something that you
might find uncomfortable.
734
00:28:45,830 --> 00:28:48,832
However, I don't want you to
grab me by the throat and crotch
735
00:28:48,867 --> 00:28:50,734
and hurl me into that wall behind me...
736
00:28:50,769 --> 00:28:52,970
(sighs) ...which I believe
is well within your abilities.
737
00:28:53,004 --> 00:28:54,404
Sue, what do you want to talk about?
738
00:28:54,406 --> 00:28:55,673
Well, I've been approached
739
00:28:55,707 --> 00:28:57,675
by more than one individual at this school
740
00:28:57,709 --> 00:28:59,009
concerned about your well-being
741
00:28:59,044 --> 00:29:03,047
upon observation of a sharp
change in your behavior.
742
00:29:03,081 --> 00:29:05,049
And after two to three milliseconds
743
00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:06,884
of deep soul-searching,
744
00:29:06,918 --> 00:29:09,854
I decided to exercise
my authority as principal
745
00:29:09,888 --> 00:29:11,822
and rifle through all of your desk drawers.
746
00:29:11,857 --> 00:29:15,159
There I found several
prescription medications,
747
00:29:15,193 --> 00:29:17,828
among them GNRH,
748
00:29:17,863 --> 00:29:20,231
that Wikipedia tells
me is a type of steroid
749
00:29:20,265 --> 00:29:22,666
used for certain medical treatments.
750
00:29:22,701 --> 00:29:24,502
So, Shannon, I'm going
to ask you something,
751
00:29:24,536 --> 00:29:26,536
and I need for you to answer me honestly.
752
00:29:27,739 --> 00:29:30,241
Coach Beiste,
753
00:29:30,275 --> 00:29:32,943
do you have cancer?
754
00:29:32,978 --> 00:29:34,945
(sighs)
755
00:29:34,980 --> 00:29:36,747
Yes.
756
00:29:36,781 --> 00:29:39,517
I'm so sorry.
757
00:29:39,551 --> 00:29:41,685
I-I know this is a huge inconvenience.
758
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,554
Shannon, just stop stammering.
759
00:29:45,423 --> 00:29:48,692
You know, you and I haven't
always seen eye to eye.
760
00:29:48,727 --> 00:29:52,630
And I'm not using that metaphor
just because you look exactly
761
00:29:52,664 --> 00:29:55,800
how I picture Greek
mythology's legendary Cyclops.
762
00:29:57,402 --> 00:30:00,070
I promise you, I'm going to do
everything I can to help you.
763
00:30:00,105 --> 00:30:01,272
Sue, you don't have to.
764
00:30:01,306 --> 00:30:03,307
Everything.
765
00:30:04,309 --> 00:30:06,310
(sighs)
766
00:30:15,822 --> 00:30:17,956
Okay, don't worry. We'll give
you a cue, okay, Becky?
767
00:30:17,991 --> 00:30:19,791
And then just burst in like Mercedes.
768
00:30:19,826 --> 00:30:21,560
Okay, okay, I've got it.
769
00:30:21,594 --> 00:30:24,463
- I'm going to nail it.
- You are.
770
00:30:24,497 --> 00:30:26,598
(Carole King's "So Far Away" begins)
771
00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:39,678
♪ So far away ♪
772
00:30:39,712 --> 00:30:46,351
♪ Doesn't anybody stay
in one place anymore? ♪
773
00:30:46,386 --> 00:30:51,557
♪ It would be so fine to
see your face at my door ♪
774
00:30:51,591 --> 00:30:54,826
♪ Doesn't help to know ♪
775
00:30:54,861 --> 00:30:57,996
♪ You're just time away ♪
776
00:30:58,031 --> 00:31:01,500
♪ Long ago I reached for you ♪
777
00:31:01,534 --> 00:31:04,937
♪ And there you stood ♪
778
00:31:04,971 --> 00:31:07,873
♪ Holding you again could only ♪
779
00:31:07,907 --> 00:31:10,175
♪ Do me good ♪
780
00:31:10,210 --> 00:31:13,679
♪ How I wish I could ♪
781
00:31:13,713 --> 00:31:17,316
BOTH: ♪ But you're so far away ♪
782
00:31:21,054 --> 00:31:26,925
♪ One more song about
moving along the highway ♪
783
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:33,432
♪ I can't say much of
anything that's new ♪
784
00:31:33,466 --> 00:31:39,338
♪ If I could only work
this life out my way... ♪
785
00:31:42,742 --> 00:31:45,544
Well, you really can't
blame her for not joining in.
786
00:31:45,578 --> 00:31:46,945
These two were very pitchy.
787
00:31:46,980 --> 00:31:48,447
So, uh,
788
00:31:48,481 --> 00:31:50,482
let them work it out.
789
00:31:55,755 --> 00:31:57,122
Hey, Becky.
790
00:31:57,156 --> 00:31:58,891
What happened back there?
791
00:31:58,925 --> 00:32:00,259
I couldn't do it.
792
00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:01,894
I told you I should have
taken the Mercedes moment.
793
00:32:01,928 --> 00:32:03,295
Pretty sure that's not
what she was talking about.
794
00:32:03,329 --> 00:32:04,730
As soon as I started singing,
795
00:32:04,764 --> 00:32:06,899
Darrell was going to know
796
00:32:06,933 --> 00:32:10,102
that I was lying about being in Glee Club.
797
00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:11,570
What do you think he thinks now?
798
00:32:11,604 --> 00:32:12,971
I think her plan is brilliant.
799
00:32:13,006 --> 00:32:14,406
I always find that literally
800
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,441
running away from my problems
is usually my safest play.
801
00:32:16,476 --> 00:32:18,243
Look, we've all lied at the
beginning of a relationship.
802
00:32:18,278 --> 00:32:19,912
I told Finn that he was
the father of my baby.
803
00:32:19,946 --> 00:32:21,246
I told Arnie I had a stutter.
804
00:32:21,281 --> 00:32:22,581
I told everyone I was straight.
805
00:32:22,615 --> 00:32:24,283
I once told a guy I had three vaginas,
806
00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:26,598
and he was pretty bummed when
he found out I only had two.
807
00:32:26,619 --> 00:32:28,487
QUINN: The point being is that most people,
808
00:32:28,521 --> 00:32:30,088
to get through that first
getting-to-know-you phase,
809
00:32:30,123 --> 00:32:31,690
do everything they can to make sure
810
00:32:31,724 --> 00:32:33,525
the other person doesn't get to know them.
811
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,260
At least not the real them.
812
00:32:35,295 --> 00:32:37,535
Praise. Real relationship
can't start till you stop being
813
00:32:37,564 --> 00:32:39,998
who you think the other
person wants you to be
814
00:32:40,033 --> 00:32:41,934
and just be yourself,
come what may. Mm-hmm.
815
00:32:41,968 --> 00:32:43,969
You guys know it's different for me.
816
00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:46,605
How often am I gonna get a chance
817
00:32:46,639 --> 00:32:48,207
to get a guy like Darrell?
818
00:32:48,241 --> 00:32:49,775
I think he really likes you.
819
00:32:49,809 --> 00:32:51,443
It's true. I see how he looks at you
820
00:32:51,477 --> 00:32:53,178
when you're not looking. I wish a guy would
821
00:32:53,213 --> 00:32:54,513
- look at me like that.
- QUINN: Mm-hmm.
822
00:32:54,547 --> 00:32:55,714
I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
823
00:32:55,748 --> 00:32:57,282
I blocked your voice a few months ago
824
00:32:57,317 --> 00:32:59,184
because everything you say
is depressing and about you.
825
00:32:59,219 --> 00:33:00,853
QUINN: Okay, look, Becky,
826
00:33:00,887 --> 00:33:02,247
how long are you gonna do this for?
827
00:33:02,255 --> 00:33:03,695
You gonna lie to him your whole life?
828
00:33:03,723 --> 00:33:05,524
That's what Sue said to do.
829
00:33:05,558 --> 00:33:07,326
Sue also told us to be honest with you
830
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,160
and treat you like we
would treat anyone else,
831
00:33:09,162 --> 00:33:10,295
so let's just say it.
832
00:33:10,330 --> 00:33:11,630
You can't sing, you can't dance,
833
00:33:11,664 --> 00:33:13,465
and you weren't in any of those clubs,
834
00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:16,201
because you're kind of lazy
and pretty toxic to be around.
835
00:33:16,236 --> 00:33:18,303
You call people stupid bitches,
836
00:33:18,338 --> 00:33:19,738
and get mad at xylophones.
837
00:33:19,772 --> 00:33:21,507
You're not really a catch, but...
838
00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:23,742
you found this guy who digs
you, and you dig him, too,
839
00:33:23,776 --> 00:33:24,936
and finding someone to put up
840
00:33:24,944 --> 00:33:26,478
with you is rare, so...
841
00:33:26,513 --> 00:33:27,513
I mean all of this
842
00:33:27,514 --> 00:33:29,515
in the nicest way.
843
00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:31,817
You have to take a chance that
he likes you for real reasons,
844
00:33:31,851 --> 00:33:33,152
and tell him the truth.
845
00:33:33,186 --> 00:33:35,254
And then your relationship
can really start.
846
00:33:35,288 --> 00:33:36,755
Thanks, guys.
847
00:33:36,789 --> 00:33:38,891
You're mostly super bitches,
848
00:33:38,925 --> 00:33:41,760
but you're pretty cool, too.
849
00:33:41,794 --> 00:33:43,829
ALL: Aw.
850
00:33:43,863 --> 00:33:45,998
(laughter, school bell ringing)
851
00:33:46,032 --> 00:33:49,234
(whispering)
852
00:33:49,269 --> 00:33:50,602
No need to lecture me.
853
00:33:50,637 --> 00:33:52,037
I know I screwed up.
854
00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:53,772
I broke the cardinal rule of teaching...
855
00:33:53,806 --> 00:33:55,340
Leave your baggage at home.
856
00:33:55,375 --> 00:33:56,742
Or at least check your baggage
857
00:33:56,776 --> 00:33:59,344
so the whole plane doesn't
have to smell your stinky socks.
858
00:33:59,379 --> 00:34:01,013
Don't worry. We've all been there.
859
00:34:01,047 --> 00:34:03,015
Heartbreak poisons the brain.
860
00:34:03,049 --> 00:34:04,917
So I am grasping
861
00:34:04,951 --> 00:34:07,686
for control where it is not appropriate.
862
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,755
I'm sorry. I was way out of line.
863
00:34:09,789 --> 00:34:11,690
You weren't. You were right.
864
00:34:11,724 --> 00:34:12,925
Jane and Mason
865
00:34:12,959 --> 00:34:14,893
came to talk to me this morning.
866
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,528
JANE: We've been watching.
867
00:34:16,563 --> 00:34:18,931
YouTubes of the New Directions!
at regionals and nationals.
868
00:34:18,965 --> 00:34:20,199
We want to be as good as you guys were.
869
00:34:20,233 --> 00:34:22,234
If we're going to do this,
we want to be champions.
870
00:34:22,268 --> 00:34:24,736
And that's not going to
happen if you go easy on us.
871
00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:26,572
Kurt was right. We didn't
work hard enough on our number,
872
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,473
and we're going to need
someone like Kurt being brutally
873
00:34:28,508 --> 00:34:30,042
honest with us if we want to be the best.
874
00:34:30,076 --> 00:34:31,910
I need you, Kurt, as my co-director.
875
00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:34,213
I need you here to keep me honest.
876
00:34:34,247 --> 00:34:37,149
I-I think, because we're so
close, we forget sometimes
877
00:34:37,183 --> 00:34:39,918
that we have different views
of life, but they both work.
878
00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:42,387
Did they really say that about me?
879
00:34:42,422 --> 00:34:44,089
That I helped them?
880
00:34:44,123 --> 00:34:46,191
It feels good, doesn't it?
881
00:34:49,262 --> 00:34:50,896
Holy crap, we're teachers.
882
00:34:50,930 --> 00:34:52,231
(laughs)
883
00:34:52,265 --> 00:34:54,233
Well, I think, between the two of us,
884
00:34:54,267 --> 00:34:55,767
we make a pretty good one.
885
00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:58,070
So, what do you say?
886
00:34:58,104 --> 00:35:02,508
We do this together, changing the world?
887
00:35:02,542 --> 00:35:04,076
Deal?
888
00:35:04,110 --> 00:35:05,978
- Deal.
- Deal.
889
00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:12,127
(school bell ringing) Uh, what's going on?
890
00:35:12,162 --> 00:35:13,362
You guys said it was urgent?
891
00:35:13,396 --> 00:35:14,530
SUE: Uh, yes. Coach Beiste
892
00:35:14,564 --> 00:35:15,731
asked me to summon you.
893
00:35:15,765 --> 00:35:17,132
Have a seat. Shannon,
894
00:35:17,167 --> 00:35:18,334
proceed.
895
00:35:18,368 --> 00:35:20,669
Um,
896
00:35:20,704 --> 00:35:21,837
you may have noticed
897
00:35:21,871 --> 00:35:23,551
that I've been acting sort of weird lately.
898
00:35:23,573 --> 00:35:25,307
Yeah. Um,
899
00:35:25,342 --> 00:35:27,810
taking a lot of personal days and stuff.
900
00:35:27,844 --> 00:35:31,480
Well, the truth is, is...
I've been seeing some doctors.
901
00:35:31,514 --> 00:35:32,815
Okay, this is taking too long.
902
00:35:32,849 --> 00:35:34,350
What Coach Beiste is
903
00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,344
trying to say is that she has cancer.
904
00:35:36,353 --> 00:35:37,987
- You have cancer?!
- No, I don't.
905
00:35:38,021 --> 00:35:40,021
- What? - Wait. So, you don't...
you don't have cancer?
906
00:35:40,023 --> 00:35:41,857
No, I told Sue that, but it was a lie.
907
00:35:41,891 --> 00:35:43,325
- What?! - Wait. What's
going... what's going on?
908
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:44,693
This is an outrage.
909
00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:46,362
You don't lie about having cancer
910
00:35:46,396 --> 00:35:48,330
unless you're trying
to get out of jury duty,
911
00:35:48,365 --> 00:35:50,666
or explain away a particularly bad haircut.
912
00:35:50,700 --> 00:35:52,501
This will explain everything.
913
00:35:52,535 --> 00:35:55,237
It's a letter from my
psychologist, Dr. Shane.
914
00:35:55,272 --> 00:35:57,239
"It is my assessment
915
00:35:57,274 --> 00:36:00,242
"that patient Shannon Beiste
meets all the necessary criteria
916
00:36:00,277 --> 00:36:02,544
"for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria,
917
00:36:02,579 --> 00:36:06,348
DSM-5, code 302.85."
918
00:36:06,383 --> 00:36:08,851
Holy mother of God.
919
00:36:08,885 --> 00:36:10,119
Wait, I don't... I don't...
920
00:36:10,153 --> 00:36:11,720
Yeah, what is that, that
gender dys-what, uh...?
921
00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:15,257
Well, pumpkin, it's where
your outsides don't match
922
00:36:15,292 --> 00:36:17,026
how you feel you are on the inside.
923
00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:20,863
This letter is my first step
924
00:36:20,897 --> 00:36:24,700
into legally transitioning
from a woman to a man.
925
00:36:24,734 --> 00:36:27,054
When you think about it, it's
not that big of a stretch.
926
00:36:27,070 --> 00:36:28,304
Okay, I don't... I don't get it.
927
00:36:28,338 --> 00:36:29,538
Okay, so, you're like
a... you're like a lesbian?
928
00:36:29,573 --> 00:36:30,706
Kiddo, this isn't about
929
00:36:30,740 --> 00:36:32,374
who I want to go to bed with.
930
00:36:32,409 --> 00:36:34,543
It's about who I want to go to bed as.
931
00:36:34,578 --> 00:36:36,378
I've always been attracted
932
00:36:36,413 --> 00:36:39,381
to men, and-and they say
that's not gonna change.
933
00:36:39,416 --> 00:36:42,051
You're gonna be, like...?
You want to be a gay man?
934
00:36:42,085 --> 00:36:44,053
Wow, really thought I heard
935
00:36:44,087 --> 00:36:46,889
of every conceivable version
of a gay man coming out.
936
00:36:46,923 --> 00:36:49,725
I'm confused. I feel like I...
this is coming out of nowhere.
937
00:36:49,759 --> 00:36:52,595
Kiddo, I know this may seem sudden to you,
938
00:36:52,629 --> 00:36:54,630
but it doesn't to me.
939
00:36:54,664 --> 00:36:56,465
So, how long have you felt this way?
940
00:36:56,499 --> 00:36:59,735
I've felt like this my whole life.
941
00:36:59,769 --> 00:37:01,904
Growing up, I was... I was really confused.
942
00:37:01,938 --> 00:37:03,806
I thought I was just a tomboy.
943
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,742
So, I got into sports, I
started coaching football,
944
00:37:06,776 --> 00:37:09,256
and I wrestled hogs in my free time,
945
00:37:09,279 --> 00:37:10,446
but no matter what I did,
946
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:11,914
I never felt
947
00:37:11,948 --> 00:37:13,649
at home in my own skin.
948
00:37:13,683 --> 00:37:17,620
I never felt like my body
fit who I was on the inside.
949
00:37:17,654 --> 00:37:21,423
I don't hate being a woman,
950
00:37:21,458 --> 00:37:23,592
and I don't regret the
things I've been through,
951
00:37:23,627 --> 00:37:26,295
because they've made me
the person I am today.
952
00:37:26,329 --> 00:37:29,098
A person strong enough to go
through with this transition.
953
00:37:29,132 --> 00:37:31,000
I got to do it
954
00:37:31,034 --> 00:37:32,301
for my own peace of mind.
955
00:37:32,335 --> 00:37:33,969
I got to get my body in alignment
956
00:37:34,004 --> 00:37:35,604
with how I see myself.
957
00:37:35,639 --> 00:37:38,274
(sighs)
958
00:37:38,308 --> 00:37:40,276
(sighs heavily)
959
00:37:40,310 --> 00:37:42,611
I'm gonna need you to take over as coach
960
00:37:42,646 --> 00:37:44,880
when I start the procedures next week.
961
00:37:44,915 --> 00:37:48,384
I'm gonna have surgery to
have my breasts removed,
962
00:37:48,418 --> 00:37:50,119
and then I'm gonna start
taking testosterone.
963
00:37:50,153 --> 00:37:51,620
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
964
00:37:51,655 --> 00:37:53,722
Please spare us the details
965
00:37:53,757 --> 00:37:55,157
of the literal sausage-making.
966
00:37:56,493 --> 00:37:58,194
I just want to let you know,
967
00:37:58,228 --> 00:38:00,348
should you choose to
return to this school...
968
00:38:01,898 --> 00:38:04,200
...your job will be waiting.
969
00:38:04,234 --> 00:38:05,801
(crying)
970
00:38:05,836 --> 00:38:07,303
(sniffles)
971
00:38:07,337 --> 00:38:08,838
We got your back.
972
00:38:08,872 --> 00:38:10,139
Thank you.
973
00:38:10,173 --> 00:38:11,841
Okay.
974
00:38:11,875 --> 00:38:14,643
I love you guys so much.
975
00:38:14,678 --> 00:38:17,479
Here you go... strawberry
milk shake, two straws.
976
00:38:17,514 --> 00:38:19,682
Thanks.
977
00:38:19,716 --> 00:38:21,984
The milk shakes at
Fuddruckers are so much better.
978
00:38:22,018 --> 00:38:25,521
Well, we're not allowed to go
back to Fuddruckers, remember?
979
00:38:25,555 --> 00:38:27,690
The waitress was rude.
980
00:38:27,724 --> 00:38:29,825
They're supposed to be rude.
That's, like, their thing.
981
00:38:29,860 --> 00:38:32,161
You can't just hit people, Becky.
982
00:38:32,195 --> 00:38:36,198
Listen, Darrell,
983
00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:38,667
it's really great having you here,
984
00:38:38,702 --> 00:38:42,004
but I haven't been
completely honest with you,
985
00:38:42,038 --> 00:38:44,673
and it's eating me up inside.
986
00:38:44,708 --> 00:38:46,342
What is it?
987
00:38:46,376 --> 00:38:49,178
First of all, I have Down syndrome.
988
00:38:49,212 --> 00:38:51,013
Yes, I know.
989
00:38:51,047 --> 00:38:52,515
Good.
990
00:38:52,549 --> 00:38:55,518
I also have to tell you that
991
00:38:55,552 --> 00:38:59,355
I really wasn't the president
of those clubs in high school.
992
00:38:59,389 --> 00:39:02,424
And I can't sing.
993
00:39:02,459 --> 00:39:04,193
You know, I sort of suspected
994
00:39:04,227 --> 00:39:05,861
you were exaggerating a little bit
995
00:39:05,896 --> 00:39:08,697
when you said you were the
fifth member of 98 Degrees.
996
00:39:08,732 --> 00:39:11,033
I mean, that's just something
I looked up on my phone.
997
00:39:11,067 --> 00:39:13,702
I shouldn't lie to you.
998
00:39:13,737 --> 00:39:15,871
I wanted to impress you.
999
00:39:15,906 --> 00:39:18,107
Becky, you don't have to impress me.
1000
00:39:18,141 --> 00:39:21,110
I already like you, and
I'll like you just the same
1001
00:39:21,144 --> 00:39:26,882
whether you're Angela Merkel's
most trusted advisor or not.
1002
00:39:26,917 --> 00:39:28,884
People think it's weird that I like you
1003
00:39:28,919 --> 00:39:31,220
for whatever reason.
1004
00:39:31,254 --> 00:39:33,823
There's gonna be a lot
of outside pressure on us.
1005
00:39:33,857 --> 00:39:36,058
We have to know that, no matter what,
1006
00:39:36,092 --> 00:39:37,560
we've got each other's backs.
1007
00:39:37,594 --> 00:39:41,063
It's just going to take me some time
1008
00:39:41,097 --> 00:39:45,401
to get used to a guy having my back.
1009
00:39:45,435 --> 00:39:47,002
Well, get used to it, Becky.
1010
00:39:47,037 --> 00:39:48,771
(laughs)
1011
00:39:48,805 --> 00:39:50,072
'Cause I've got it.
1012
00:39:50,106 --> 00:39:52,107
It sounds like a plan.
1013
00:39:55,612 --> 00:39:57,913
Gross! This milk shake sucks!
1014
00:39:57,948 --> 00:40:00,616
(glass breaking)
1015
00:40:02,452 --> 00:40:05,187
(both laugh)
1016
00:40:05,222 --> 00:40:06,622
Before we wrap things up,
1017
00:40:06,656 --> 00:40:08,290
Kurt and I just wanted to say together
1018
00:40:08,325 --> 00:40:09,758
that we're very proud of you guys.
1019
00:40:09,793 --> 00:40:11,827
Although we've just
begun to jell as a team,
1020
00:40:11,862 --> 00:40:13,129
we learned this week
1021
00:40:13,163 --> 00:40:14,663
that two very different styles of teaching,
1022
00:40:14,698 --> 00:40:16,132
although may clash sometimes...
1023
00:40:16,166 --> 00:40:18,434
They yield very important lessons learned.
1024
00:40:18,468 --> 00:40:21,270
That sort of sounded like you
were congratulating yourselves.
1025
00:40:21,304 --> 00:40:22,304
You get used to it.
1026
00:40:22,305 --> 00:40:23,539
Guys, the point being
1027
00:40:23,573 --> 00:40:25,107
is that we took our inner Caroles
1028
00:40:25,142 --> 00:40:26,609
and our inner Alanises...
1029
00:40:26,643 --> 00:40:27,643
Uh, Alani.
1030
00:40:27,644 --> 00:40:29,979
We took the jagged and the smooth,
1031
00:40:30,013 --> 00:40:32,214
the angry and the sad, and the joyful,
1032
00:40:32,249 --> 00:40:33,816
and created something new.
1033
00:40:33,850 --> 00:40:35,117
Mash-ups aren't always pretty.
1034
00:40:35,152 --> 00:40:36,552
But they're worth the risk.
1035
00:40:36,586 --> 00:40:38,120
Now we know you guys are ready.
1036
00:40:38,155 --> 00:40:39,221
Ready for what?
1037
00:40:39,256 --> 00:40:41,390
The road to sectionals.
1038
00:40:42,926 --> 00:40:47,797
♪ Do-do,
do-do-do ♪
1039
00:40:47,831 --> 00:40:51,066
♪ Do, do ♪
1040
00:40:51,101 --> 00:40:52,668
♪ Mm ♪
1041
00:40:52,702 --> 00:40:55,171
♪ I recommend ♪
♪ Do-do ♪
1042
00:40:55,205 --> 00:40:58,474
♪ Getting your heart trampled
on to anyone ♪
♪ Do-do-do ♪
1043
00:40:58,508 --> 00:41:01,410
♪ Do, do-do ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
1044
00:41:01,445 --> 00:41:04,580
♪ Mm, I ♪
♪ Do-do ♪
1045
00:41:04,614 --> 00:41:10,686
♪ Recommend walking around naked in
your living room ♪
♪ Do-do-do, do ♪
1046
00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:12,254
♪ Yeah ♪
1047
00:41:12,289 --> 00:41:16,859
♪ Close your eyes and think of me ♪
1048
00:41:16,893 --> 00:41:21,864
♪ And soon I will be there ♪
1049
00:41:21,898 --> 00:41:27,470
♪ To brighten up even
your darkest night ♪
1050
00:41:29,206 --> 00:41:32,374
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
1051
00:41:32,409 --> 00:41:35,177
♪ You live, you learn ♪
1052
00:41:35,212 --> 00:41:37,680
♪ You love, you learn ♪
1053
00:41:37,714 --> 00:41:40,015
♪ You cry, you learn ♪
1054
00:41:40,050 --> 00:41:42,184
♪ You lose, you learn ♪
1055
00:41:42,219 --> 00:41:45,354
♪ Winter, spring, summer or fall...
♪
♪ You breathe, you learn ♪
1056
00:41:45,388 --> 00:41:49,024
♪ You scream, you learn ♪
1057
00:41:49,059 --> 00:41:53,295
♪ And I'll be there ♪
♪
All you have to do is call ♪
1058
00:41:53,330 --> 00:41:55,965
♪ You've got a friend ♪
♪ Ain't it good to know ♪
1059
00:41:55,999 --> 00:41:59,535
♪ That you've got a friend
♪
♪ You love, you learn ♪
1060
00:41:59,569 --> 00:42:03,706
♪ When people can be so cold?
♪
♪ You cry, you learn ♪
1061
00:42:03,740 --> 00:42:08,978
♪ They'll hurt you,
yes, and desert you ♪
1062
00:42:09,012 --> 00:42:12,715
♪ And take your soul if you let them ♪
1063
00:42:12,749 --> 00:42:14,717
♪ If you let them ♪
1064
00:42:14,751 --> 00:42:16,752
♪ Oh, but don't you let them ♪
1065
00:42:16,787 --> 00:42:19,889
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
1066
00:42:19,923 --> 00:42:22,658
♪ You just call out my name...
♪
♪ You live, you learn ♪
1067
00:42:22,692 --> 00:42:24,994
♪ You love, you learn ♪
1068
00:42:25,028 --> 00:42:27,563
♪ You laugh, you learn ♪
1069
00:42:27,597 --> 00:42:31,434
♪ You choose, you learn... ♪
1070
00:42:31,468 --> 00:42:33,235
♪ Oh, yes, I will ♪
1071
00:42:33,270 --> 00:42:36,739
♪ You've got a friend
♪
♪ You learn ♪
1072
00:42:36,773 --> 00:42:37,940
♪ Oh, yes, I will ♪
1073
00:42:37,974 --> 00:42:40,409
♪ You've got a friend ♪
1074
00:42:40,444 --> 00:42:43,479
♪ It's good to know ♪
♪ Ain't it good to know ♪
1075
00:42:43,513 --> 00:42:45,247
♪ You've got a friend ♪
1076
00:42:45,282 --> 00:42:47,683
♪ You've got a friend ♪
♪ It's good to know ♪
1077
00:42:47,718 --> 00:42:54,205
♪ You've got a friend. ♪
♪ Ooh. ♪
1078
00:42:54,232 --> 00:42:57,878
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com