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Previously on Girlfriends'
Guide to Divorce...
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My Infant Fabuleux
press preview's tomorrow.
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You have to tell me
if this is stupid.
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I think it's beneath you.
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Just admit you're bored.
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No, no, no, no, no.
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There's a big difference between
being bored and being suffocated.
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I want to sleep with you.
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You're the one that wants
to sleep with everyone else.
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Jo, I thought you
were coming tonight.
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Eh, I decided not to
lose the day.
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Hey.
Hi. I wish I knew.
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You don't have to say it. I wish I
was in the right place for you.
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I'm not the one who told you to tell
the world you were full of shit.
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Do I need to remind you that I don't know
where our next dollar's coming from?
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I'm in real trouble.
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I left Frumpkis.
What?
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For...
Good this time.
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That's why Zooey's coming down.
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We're starting over.
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Ripped By mstoll
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I'm not getting sucked in again.
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No, you crossed the line,
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Frumpkis!
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Zooey's moving out here because
you are in no shape to be...
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Shh! Keep it down. What's
that in the background?
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You're gonna wake everybody up.
Are you watching porn?
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Oh, my God. The whole
household can hear you.
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Okay, you sick mother...
I'm hanging up.
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Unbelievable.
Everybody hears you.
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I hear this moaning and this music
and then some dude yelling,
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"I want to come on your tits."
Lilly coming down the stairs.
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Good morning, sweetheart.
How did you sleep?
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What's with all the yelling?
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Lilly, let me tell you a
few things about men, okay?
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They are beasts led around
by a one-eyed snake.
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And that is the opinion of
one very angry woman.
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Lilly, don't forget that Jo's
daughter, Zooey, is coming to visit.
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Yeah, you told me, like, a million times.
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Stop calling me!
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Lose my number,
you disgusting pervert!
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"Yeah,
you disgusting pervert."
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Wow. I didn't know that Horny
knew that kind of language.
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Well, his name is Horny.
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Chad teaches Horny
a lot of bad words, Mama.
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Does he?
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Can I go watch TV now?
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You can watch one program.
Yeah!
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Drink your juice. Come
back for breakfast. Okay.
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Let me ask you something.
Yeah.
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Is Frumpkis on the same page as you
about Zooey being in California?
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Not exactly. He doesn't
even know what day it is.
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Then you need to get
with a lawyer on that.
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My friend, Lyla,
when she left...
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Oh, yeah, what happened to her?
Where is she?
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Oh, my God, are you kidding?
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I have told you that 8,000 times, but
your head is always on the screen.
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You need to actually look up once in a
while, maybe make eye contact with somebody.
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There's no fighting it.
Our children are cyborgs.
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Robots are taking
over the world.
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But don't worry, because the robots
are gonna round up all the old folks
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like me and your mom. They're gonna
grind us into food for the Asians.
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That is terrifying and
racist all at the same time.
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That was impressive.
I try my best.
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Jesus, even watching you
put clothes on makes me hard.
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Everything makes you hard.
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Hey, gorgeous,
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I was in a sexless marriage
for almost 11 years.
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Velcro makes me hard.
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I'd ask you to come back to bed,
but you'll probably say no.
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I can't.
Courtney knows about us.
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What?
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Why didn't you say something?
I wanted to tell you,
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but we weren't doing
much talking last night.
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She threatened to go to Albert
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unless we give up
the Asian market.
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What did she say exactly?
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Among other things, that
she'd have me disbarred.
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Well, screw her.
Tell her to do her worst.
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Gordon, her worst is to have me
disbarred, and there goes my career.
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And anyway, what ever
happened to,
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"Who gives a shit about
Korea?" I don't,
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but I do give a shit about
that woman pushing us around.
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And you don't even
need a career.
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You have me now.
Excuse me?
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I love my job,
and even if I didn't,
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what, you're gonna
take care of me
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and pay for the life
that you've ruined?
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No, thank you.
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Delia, listen.
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Wow. Look at that.
Does she eat?
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LA, it's just so relentless.
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The sun, the sky, the color,
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skinny, sexy... Where do
the depressed people go?
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Oh, they're all depressed.
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They're just heavily medicated.
Are you serious?
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Yeah. I just want my kid.
I need my kid.
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Your kid's not even
gonna recognize me.
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I haven't seen her since
she was, like, six years old.
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Oh, she will recognize you.
She's got a lot on the ball.
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Trust me, she's my brain.
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She reminds me when my
pap smears are.
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Seriously.
I wouldn't tell people that.
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Hello? Warren?
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- Hi.
- Abby,
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everyone's still buzzing here
about your pitch. Really?
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That's so exciting.
Look, an editor at Huff Po loved it...
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The whole train wreck,
post-split Abby angle.
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Well, that's not really...
They want you to do a piece.
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Ten dates in two days.
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Really play up the
whole dating disaster angle.
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Go big on the
shock value, the funny.
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Yeah, but that sounds
so gimmicky.
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It pays $1,500,
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and the Huff Po
divorce section is huge.
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You impress them,
you get your own column.
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You're back in a big way.
Books, TV. Think about it.
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Okay.
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He hung up?
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That's what they do. Um...
Pig.
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Huff Post wants me to date
10 losers in two days.
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I could do that in my sleep.
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I don't want to write
about wacky dating.
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I want to be more
authentic, you know?
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Well, you'll be authentic
when you get your own column.
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In the meantime, bullshit.
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Bullshit.
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Yeah
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Hi.
Hi.
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We're at an impasse.
Yep.
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So let's solve it the way
we used to back in the day.
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Okay.
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Rock, paper, scissors?
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No... Uh,
you, me, scotch.
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Scotch.
Oh.
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Later, once the kids are at school, and
we don't leave the table until we agree.
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Done.
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Good.
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How much? $5,000 in child
support and $5,000 in spousal.
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Dollars?
Yeah.
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A year?
A month.
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A month?
I know.
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But look, believe it or not, Jake
could have asked for a lot more.
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These were the figures that
were generated by DissoMaster.
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What is the DissoMaster?
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It's the state-generated support
guidelines that the courts use.
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And they call it the
DissoMaster?
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What is it, the master of diss?
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That is ridiculous.
Honey, you made a lot of money last year.
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Last year, yes, but this year I would
be lucky to make half of what I...
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It puts the heat on.
I know. We have to negotiate this.
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Jake can't expect me to spend
$10,000 a month on him.
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Of course.
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That's just their opening salvo.
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Child support is what it is.
It's five grand a month.
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Ugh.
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Do you know 10 awful guys who
might be willing to date me?
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Can we just talk about
what a heel he is?
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Because I'm just ready to punch Jake
so hard, he's gonna be shitting teeth.
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I love it when you get all
aggro on my behalf.
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Mama.
Hi, hi, hi.
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Okay.
How are you?
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Can you believe it?
I'm so sorry. I got your message.
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This little princess right
here, she's in sticker shock.
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I'm homicidal.
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Would an $8 make you feel better?
Mmm.
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I say we get wasted right now.
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Just get out of this ridiculous
cornucopia and to the nearest bar.
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Lovely, but I have to focus.
This is work.
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I need to find 10 horrible
dates for my Huff Po piece.
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Point me to the Internet.
Hello?
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I have a sixth sense
for finding terrible men.
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What about Will?
I mean, he's not horrible,
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but his dates start great and end
in bar fights, tears, drama.
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Oh, no, I don't want to do that to him.
Why not?
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He likes you. I'm sure
he'd be willing to help.
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It's like Doom Face always says,
when you see a door open,
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you just walk right through it.
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"Doom Face"?
Life coach.
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Mine.
What?
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Yeah,
that's right. I know.
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I know.
But she's the best.
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I can't believe it.
I know.
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Ever since I ditched
the jewelry line, I just...
185
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I need a little guidance,
career-wise, life-wise.
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She's having me interface
more with Anouk and Luco.
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I love that.
Yeah. And get this, big news...
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Man-cation.
No dating.
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00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,034
Nothing until I find
my own path.
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This is very good advice.
I know.
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00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,110
Very good.
I know. You know what?
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00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,794
I already... I'm feeling more focused.
I can see it.
193
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,236
More grounded.
Yeah. Yeah.
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00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,034
Where are my children?
195
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,314
You came with your children.
Oh, my God.
196
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,759
Anouk? Luco?
Oh, my God. Every time.
197
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,831
I... They're just so bad.
I'll go this way.
198
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,319
Wait.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna go this way.
199
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,958
You have kids?
Luco.
200
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,151
Robbie, go ahead and grab
another case off the truck.
201
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,071
You two.
202
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:17,518
I said no nightshade veggies, and when
you walk with Mama, you have to keep up.
203
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,717
I hate to break it to you, but I think these
two just ate their weight in nightshades.
204
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,028
Oh. Oh.
205
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:26,389
Uh, we're just trying a new system
of eating, so it doesn't matter.
206
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,919
You know,
none of my business, but
207
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,231
how can eating organic heritage
vegetables of any kind be bad for them?
208
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,792
They have allergies, so we're
on an elimination diet.
209
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,878
Ah, well, now you'll know if
they're sensitive to tomatoes.
210
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,670
How about broccoli? They like broccoli.
Do you have any broccoli?
211
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,559
Yep, big old pile of
broccoli right there.
212
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,398
I will take one of those
heads of broccoli. You pick.
213
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,155
Perfect. That's a perfect
piece of broccoli.
214
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,952
"Homegrown urban farm.
215
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:07,670
"An urban farm working with recovering
addicts to give them employable skills."
216
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,558
Really?
Yeah, really.
217
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,350
You know, getting clean
isn't just about not using.
218
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,038
It's about finding a
new joy and purpose.
219
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,313
A lot of them find
that here with us.
220
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:17,515
Kids are found.
Oh.
221
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,555
That's fantastic.
222
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,153
Great.
Cute. Awesome.
223
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,794
Oh, there they go again,
the slippery little shits.
224
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,871
Oh, my God.
This is, um, my new...
225
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,473
Marco. Yeah.
Yeah, Marco. Hi.
226
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:27,629
Abby.
227
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,269
He tantalized my kids with
his fabulous produce,
228
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,716
and he grows veggies
and helps people in recovery.
229
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,233
Does he, now? That's great.
Yeah.
230
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I was just about to tell him that
I am going to volunteer. - What?
231
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,959
Really?
232
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:43,995
Sorry.
233
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,634
That's great.
234
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,071
Um, it was so nice
to meet you, Marco.
235
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,517
Don't forget your broccoli.
Okay, bye.
236
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,988
Um, ahem, what happened to
your man-cation?
237
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,275
Oh, my God, I'm not into him like that.
It's just...
238
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,197
He does good,
and I want to do good,
239
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,311
and Ms. Doom Face said
that I need to volunteer,
240
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,516
so I can be inspired and learn.
241
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,239
Oh, my God, give me that.
242
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,033
Where do you put it, woman?
243
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,071
You are always eating crap.
244
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,396
Yelling at Frumpkis burns calories.
Mmm.
245
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,711
Oh, all the girls
are up for Sunday.
246
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,074
Mmm.
We're thinking drinks in the afternoon.
247
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,554
You had me at "drinks."
Perfect.
248
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,074
Okay. Heads up.
249
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,875
"Mustelid man."
This guy you have to date.
250
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:35,238
The profile reads, "Why you should date
my ferret and the man who loves him."
251
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,672
Will you please message him?
Of course.
252
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,877
I am racking them up.
Yeah, you are.
253
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,633
By the way, I, um...
I left a message for Will.
254
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,909
Oh, the hot embryo?
Yeah.
255
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,228
Nice.
You know, Phoebe was right.
256
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,757
He was my favorite mistake of the last few
months, and if he's down for it, why not?
257
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,430
Oh, and Doug Franklin from NYU.
258
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,669
Do you remember him?
Yes.
259
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,672
Yeah, so he emailed me
out of the blue...
260
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,150
Well, "out of the blue"
when my divorce went public.
261
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,309
What?
Yeah.
262
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,913
Doug Franklin, what an asshead.
263
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,319
He pumped and dumped.
It's perfect.
264
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:09,274
I mean, I've got, like, a
stuntman, who should be hot.
265
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,679
I've got a yoga guy.
I got a comic,
266
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,239
a speed seducer.
267
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,878
That's what
he calls himself.
268
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,433
Honey. Honey.
269
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,188
I found your husband.
270
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,428
Oh, my God. Oh, yes.
Glad to be here.
271
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,036
Who posts a picture of that?
272
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,068
Tons of guys, but this
one put a bow tie on his dick.
273
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,193
Wow.
Okay.
274
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,920
Tell you what we're gonna do. We're
gonna get crazy now.
275
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,593
Take that, Magic Mike.
276
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,069
Well, yours isn't in formal
wear, so it's not fair.
277
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,115
Well, it's au naturel.
278
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,999
Zooey, hi.
279
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,949
Sweetie!
How are you?
280
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,598
Hey, mi hija.
281
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,835
How are you?
282
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,552
How'd you get here?
Oh, I missed you so much.
283
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,595
I took a cab.
284
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,159
From LAX?
Yeah, she's a New Yorker.
285
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,719
By yourself?
Come here, sweetie. Come on.
286
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,755
That's not safe.
May I set down my things?
287
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,353
Of course you can.
Come on in.
288
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,791
How are you?
Lilly, Zooey's here.
289
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,711
Oh.
Come say hi.
290
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:02,989
Do you
remember her?
291
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,355
Hi.
292
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,635
How was your flight?
Fascinating, actually.
293
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,234
My seat companion was
an engineer from JPL.
294
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,515
Mars 2020 is really
coming along.
295
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,670
Who's my little Mensa?
296
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,354
Abby, if it's all right, I'd
love to unpack, get organized.
297
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,716
Of course you can.
Lilly, will you give Zooey the grand tour?
298
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,950
She's gonna be bunking
with Jo in the guesthouse.
299
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,035
Sure.
300
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,796
Mom, have you been eating these?
301
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,393
Uh, no, they belong to Abby.
302
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,317
Can you hide these?
Refined sugars make Mom short-tempered.
303
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,515
Seriously,
I become another person.
304
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,836
No problem, honey. It's so nice to see you.
You too.
305
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,389
- Have fun, you guys.
- I love you.
306
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,319
Ms. Beech.
307
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,153
Does Kelly do your facials?
She does, yeah.
308
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,232
You too?
No, first time. I read somewhere that...
309
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,999
Was it the profile on you in W?
310
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,716
What do you want, Ms. Banai? I was
thinking about our last conversation, and
311
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,758
I did a little research and found out
that after Gordon left the company,
312
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,357
your factory in Seoul
closed abruptly.
313
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,755
We had a dispute with a local
union and jumped ship.
314
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,035
That doesn't make any sense.
315
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,350
Korea's such a
vital market for you.
316
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:26,557
Unless you moved production to a much
cheaper factory in rural Bangladesh,
317
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,119
a factory with a long history
of labor violations,
318
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,272
so long, one might
call it a sweatshop.
319
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,036
A revelation of this sort
could really affect the
320
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,429
public perception
of Courtney Beech.
321
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,829
It is...
322
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,751
Possible
323
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,669
that we could come to
some sort of agreement.
324
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,309
Your daughter? Okay, Rob.
Rob, listen to me.
325
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,951
Half of the time, you're working, and the
other half... It doesn't work out that way.
326
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,509
No, I'm just...
I'm by myself.
327
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,876
Hey. Hi.
Charlie, your dad's here.
328
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,148
Wow.
What's the occasion?
329
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,879
It's not as exciting
as it looks.
330
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,952
It's for the Huff Post piece.
I'm just meeting a Tinder guy for drinks.
331
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,516
Well, you look great.
Well, I'm not seriously dating.
332
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:29,795
Hi, Will.
333
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,750
Is that the guy from the garage?
Garage guy?
334
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,991
No, no, I'm super happy
that you called.
335
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,394
Oh, yeah, not serious at all.
336
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,038
Can I ask you a question?
I was wondering if, um...
337
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,040
Where's your brother?
We got to go. I'll get him.
338
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,075
Charlie?
339
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,070
You must be Abby.
Steve.
340
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:54,352
Wow. Your picture did not do you justice.
Thank you.
341
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,231
Um, either you are very under or I
am very overdressed for this place.
342
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,151
Yeah, well, I was thinking,
343
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:06,473
do you want a regular, boring
date or an adventure date?
344
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,079
Oh, uh, well...
345
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,276
So I'm going, "No,
no, no," and he pushed me.
346
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,559
Disaster one down.
347
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,676
No, it wasn't
really a disaster.
348
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,957
It was... It was great
and unexpected, and, you know,
349
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,270
I jumped out of a
flippin' plane, right?
350
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,033
Oh, don't tell me that stuntman Steve is
a keeper. You'd actually see him again?
351
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,196
Oh, my God, no. Do you
know that he told me that
352
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,919
the only bone in his body he
hasn't broken was his penis?
353
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,157
Yeah, it just made me realize
that I need to take more leaps.
354
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,358
Metaphoric... Phoric you!
Phoric you.
355
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,751
Why am I doing this?
356
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:59,277
Hey, it's 2015, doll. Men expect
a lady to be groomed down there.
357
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,157
You mean bald.
It's creepy.
358
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,309
No, not bald.
359
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,355
Not bald.
360
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,229
Anyway, it's no different than
having your eyebrows waxed.
361
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,356
Yeah, if my bush was on my face.
Okay, come on, come on.
362
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,714
Am I gonna be able
to walk later, Delia?
363
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,116
Because I have so many dates today.
I have seven at least.
364
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,792
How is that even possible?
365
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,269
I have three in the morning.
I have two this afternoon.
366
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,511
Then I have a couple tonight...
Night, no! No!
367
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,354
Shit.
368
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,879
Shit. Sorry.
369
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,195
I'm so sorry.
370
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,396
Hey. You okay? Ow.
371
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,119
It's cool, I'll get it. Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
372
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,912
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
373
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:40,829
My back is totally
tweaking right now.
374
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,911
Yeah, well, you signed up
for a four-hour shift.
375
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:47,272
I'm sorry, but if I do not get ice on
my back, it's gonna totally seize up.
376
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,191
Ow.
The thing is, if you bail now,
377
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,837
crops don't get in the truck, the
truck doesn't deliver the crops,
378
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,035
and so on.
You understand.
379
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,394
I get it.
All right.
380
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,633
How about money? I've got money in my car.
I will pay for the crops
381
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,478
and...
I don't need...
382
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:03,755
Phoebe...
383
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,669
I need the crops in the truck.
Okay. I get it.
384
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,309
How about I make it
up to you next time?
385
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,079
Tell you what, um.
I'll take $200
386
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,196
for the cabbages
that you won't load
387
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,353
if you promise not to come back.
388
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,155
Wow. I appreciate your effort,
389
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,277
but I don't think
you're cut out for this.
390
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,276
What... What you need
to get what you want
391
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,397
is for me to also
want what you need.
392
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,112
No.
Wait. What?
393
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,589
I mean that the only way
out of our situation
394
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:45,356
is if I'm at least open to
the casual encounter...
395
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,237
Yes.
...like back in the old days.
396
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,039
Yes, and I would hope
that you would act on it,
397
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,712
because I love you.
398
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:53,715
What?
399
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,391
Wow. So my man wants
me to screw other men
400
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,598
because he loves me.
Because I...
401
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,272
I need that
excitement back, you know,
402
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,515
for both of us.
403
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,116
And I would never,
ever leave you.
404
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,315
Okay.
405
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,836
Really?
406
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,195
But rules.
407
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:24,115
At least three degrees
of separation and no repeats.
408
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,471
Good, good, and do we want
to know before or no?
409
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,232
Yes, yes, otherwise, every time
that you were working late
410
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,754
or I was stuck in traffic,
we'd think the...
411
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,592
So, yes, advance
notice of intent.
412
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,150
Deal. Deal?
413
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,789
Deal.
414
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,108
Let the screwing begin.
415
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,993
And forward jump.
416
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,750
Inhale as you come to the top.
417
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,554
Yeah, a lot of people don't realize
ferrets have actually been domesticated.
418
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,718
So I'm incorporating seeds and
nuts into my food plan now,
419
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:53,835
which is a big step for me.
420
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,557
Don't worry. All my ferrets are
house trained. All of them?
421
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,597
But I...
I do feel fat.
422
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,359
I don't look fat, do I?
423
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,075
Surprise.
424
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,358
Because it's a blind date.
Get it?
425
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,079
Mmm. It's a lot, though, you know...
Yeah.
426
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,993
Four, four kids. I mean, they're
all on travel teams and...
427
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,429
Hey, why don't you guys say hi?
428
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,038
They just need a new mom.
429
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,676
I mean, I wouldn't want to date any
of these guys, but it was hysterical.
430
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,279
I love seeing how this
whole thing turns out.
431
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,032
I love being your
disaster date bodyguard.
432
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,918
I really don't need a
micro-bodyguard.
433
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,753
Okay. Over your shoulder.
He's looking around.
434
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,276
Looks like that could be
Mr. Bow Tie.
435
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,834
Oh, my God.
436
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,556
I know that man.
He's a dad at school.
437
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,629
He is a married dad.
438
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:03,635
Erick Frank.
439
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,155
Oh, God.
440
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,595
Hi.
441
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,635
I thought you were...
442
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,997
Abby.
That's right, from school.
443
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,229
Our kids go to the same school.
444
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,151
I see you every morning.
Right.
445
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,790
How funny.
What a coincidence running into you.
446
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,990
Is it?
Nice flowers.
447
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,476
I better get back to
my business drinks.
448
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,471
You look great.
Oh, thank you very much.
449
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,676
I'll... I'll let your wife
know that I ran into you here.
450
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:29,955
Please don't.
451
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,599
Please.
452
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,513
Oh. You're gonna...
You're gonna have a blast.
453
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,393
Going for work, babe, in Texas.
454
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,477
Last time I checked,
I'm still black and gay.
455
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,109
Austin is not Texas.
So, um...
456
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,557
Are you gonna use your...
Your hall pass?
457
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,036
Well, Austin is at least three
degrees of separation, so I...
458
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,639
Right, that's what I figured.
459
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,756
Don't worry, babe.
Go out.
460
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,034
Have yourself some
fun too, okay?
461
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,348
Okay.
462
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,318
Love you.
463
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,279
Your picture... It was
mostly just your body.
464
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:23,150
You posted a photo of your
man junk on the interweb.
465
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,389
I know.
466
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,072
It's the only way my
wife won't recognize me.
467
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,869
Erick, that's... That's insane.
It's just...
468
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,549
She can't stand me. We barely touch.
469
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,879
Well, wouldn't therapy be better than,
you know, dressing up your meat puppet?
470
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,713
I want to, but she won't
give it a chance.
471
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,199
Well, if it's so bad, why stay?
472
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,391
Why does anybody stay?
473
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,075
The kids.
474
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,394
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you, telling
the kids about our divorce was...
475
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,157
Was one of the hardest
days of my life.
476
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,269
But who's to say
what's the best for kids,
477
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,316
divorce or
two miserable parents?
478
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,989
I'm so grateful to be unstuck.
479
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:07,635
We were paralyzed.
480
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,713
I don't think I'm
as brave as you.
481
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,557
I didn't feel brave.
I don't feel brave.
482
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,478
But everyone deserves to be
loved without cheating or lies.
483
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,075
And never being touched,
Erick, that's not...
484
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,108
That's not a way to live.
485
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,468
Oh, my God.
486
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,718
It is so beautiful.
487
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,437
When Courtney attacks,
I see red and strike back,
488
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,751
which is why we need to move
this divorce along. - Mmm-hmm.
489
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,508
But I've taken care
of everything.
490
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,397
She has no choice now
but to split Korea 50/50.
491
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,035
That's right.
How did you know?
492
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,875
I pushed back the
date of separation.
493
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,872
I slept with her.
494
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,471
Oh, my God, is this a joke?
Delia,
495
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,354
rationally recognizing our
options, it was the right move.
496
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,228
You're an idiot.
She played you.
497
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,351
I got her to agree to
a 50/50 split today.
498
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,759
She had sex with you
to get back at me.
499
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,636
What? How?
500
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,155
It doesn't matter, okay?
501
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,312
I won without
prostituting myself.
502
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,389
Well, why didn't you call me?
503
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,392
Because I wanted to
tell you in person.
504
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:20,913
It didn't occur to me that
you would screw her.
505
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,752
It's in the past, all right?
506
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,518
We'll just... We'll move on.
Don't. You don't touch me.
507
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,955
No, listen... No, first you
declare some kind of affection,
508
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,758
and then you have
sex with Courtney?
509
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,955
For us. I did it for us.
Oh, my God.
510
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,519
You need to get out of here.
No. Delia.
511
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,393
Go.
Get out.
512
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,393
What are you doing?
513
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,311
Doug doesn't deserve that.
514
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,958
No, no primping for
Pump-and-dump.
515
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,359
Don't you start in on him.
Are you crazy?
516
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,919
Don't you do it.
You're the one that asked to come.
517
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,958
I believe your words were,
"It will be fun to catch up."
518
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,873
Well, my inside words were, "Dear god, I
don't want to be alone another minute."
519
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,396
But don't worry. I'm gonna
be very nice. Promise.
520
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,435
Okay.
521
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,992
So you remember all that stuff that
you said to Dressy D? - Mmm-hmm.
522
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,677
I'm thinking maybe Frumpkis
deserves another chance.
523
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:16,830
That's what you got from it?
524
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,990
The man loves me, and he
promised me that he's gonna...
525
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,274
He's gonna clean up his act, so.
526
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,437
Jo, how many times has
he said that to you?
527
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,914
And what about Zooey?
You can't just keep jerking her around.
528
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,594
I... I just... I don't know.
Where is Zooey?
529
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,274
Uh, she took the
bus to Santa Monica.
530
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:32,395
She wanted to see the beach.
531
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,555
Alone?
532
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:34,675
Yeah.
533
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,877
By herself?
She doesn't get lonely.
534
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,195
That is not safe.
535
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,035
Oh, my God, you're so neurotic.
Of course.
536
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,592
Oh, look who became
a big gordo blob now?
537
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:48,755
You know who else I just saw?
538
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,956
Oh, what's her name?
Uh, the girl who was always a little off.
539
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,075
She had the face, and...
540
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,115
Oh, Sue Kettles.
541
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,389
Yes.
Yeah, with the Bell's palsy.
542
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,669
Oh, remember when...
With the what?
543
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,631
Yeah.
She had Bell's palsy. Remember when...
544
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:58,715
She did not.
Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?
545
00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,949
Her face was
half-paralyzed.
546
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,632
She had shingles when we were little kids.
What?
547
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:02,789
Don't you remember?
No.
548
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,835
Yes.
We hooked up.
549
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:04,909
She never told me this.
550
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,513
You are the dumbest
man I've ever met.
551
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,033
Wow.
It is so late.
552
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,395
I have got to go.
553
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,039
Oh, I'll go with you.
No, no, no,
554
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,957
I have my... My date
with Will tonight,
555
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,678
remember?
Oh, the hot fetus.
556
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,558
Date? I thought...
I thought this was a...
557
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,474
This has been so swell. Thank you.
Yes, it's been swell.
558
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:21,715
I will see you later.
Real swell.
559
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:22,755
Well, no, no, Jo, you stay.
560
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,398
I'll drive you home later.
No, it's okay.
561
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,436
She... She can give me her...
Her Uzi account.
562
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,080
Uber, and you could get your own account
at this point. You could afford it.
563
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,673
Okay, okay.
I'll see you later.
564
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,552
Bye.
Nice to see you.
565
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,752
I can't really stay that long
'cause I dropped the kids off
566
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,319
at the kids' club
at the Paradiso,
567
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,277
and Lilly looked like she was
gonna murder me in my sleep.
568
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,669
I'm... I'm sorry. Thanks for coming out.
No, no.
569
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,957
I just need to get my
mind off of that...
570
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,508
I can't believe Ford is liking
the pool bar at the hotel.
571
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,551
It's so desperate.
"Here I am, hotties."
572
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,558
Okay, maybe let's not, um, tweet
stalk anymore. - Right, I'm sorry.
573
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:00,710
Sorry.
Just be here.
574
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,438
No more obsessing.
Good.
575
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,390
What? No.
No. What?
576
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,598
You... I'm not here to be your wingman.
Okay, wow. Just...
577
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,592
No. Come on.
Relax... Dude, relax.
578
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,069
Abby's brother. Wow.
Dude, you know what?
579
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,390
The Becca thing is still
in my head. I'm just...
580
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,795
There's a True Blood, like, Skarsgard
look-alike at the end of...
581
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,155
Don't look over there, please.
582
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,755
I'm just saying he's eye-banging
you pretty hard, and
583
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,191
I don't swing that way,
but he's a handsome devil,
584
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:31,599
and if you wanted
that hall pass,
585
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,635
there it is.
586
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,957
Oh, I know why
Skarsgard's staring at me.
587
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,271
He works at the Getty. Ford
introduced me to him once.
588
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,030
I'll go say a quick hi, and then
I'll come meet you at the E.R.
589
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,754
Mmm. Come on.
590
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,039
Hi.
Hi.
591
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,119
Long time.
592
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:13,953
I meant to call,
but with the kids...
593
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:14,995
I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
594
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,231
I just keep thinking
about kissing you.
595
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:43,838
You're so tan.
596
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,478
Just got back from Pakistan.
597
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:46,993
I was trying K2 again.
598
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,117
Yeah? You mean, like...
Like, Everest?
599
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,317
Oh, no, Everest was
easier compared with K2.
600
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,472
I had to...
I had to turn back again.
601
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,110
Oh, my God,
your failures are so sexy.
602
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,755
Shh, houseguests.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
603
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:36,591
You know, last time that I
offered to cook for you,
604
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,117
you ran like I offered
to light your hair on fire.
605
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,638
So what happens if I try again?
606
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,758
It depends on
what you're cooking.
607
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,709
Name it.
I love a challenge.
608
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:48,994
Frittata.
Ooh.
609
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,069
Yes.
Wow.
610
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,311
Do it.
Just like that?
611
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,318
Hang on a second.
Wait.
612
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,870
Are you asking me
to sleep over, Abby McCarthy?
613
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,353
That's, uh...
That's a big step.
614
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,519
Yes, I am.
Mmm.
615
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,039
You know, this article
that I'm working on.
616
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,588
Yes, yes, the, uh, 10 dates.
617
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,836
Hang on a sec. I'm not just here
because you have blue bean, am I?
618
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,311
"Blue bean", I don't...
619
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,789
That's horrible.
Oh, my God.
620
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,278
No.
No?
621
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,989
No. It's because I met
a lot of guys,
622
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,514
and none of them were you.
623
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,319
Finally.
624
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:43,874
Did you hear that?
625
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,632
Yeah.
626
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:53,953
Are you a good girl?
627
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,991
Jesus Christ, Jo!
628
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,994
Oh, oh, I know.
I know. I just...
629
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,513
It's a great couch.
630
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,472
Oh, he didn't, uh...
He didn't even come yet.
631
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,473
We didn't get any jizz
or anything like that on it.
632
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,997
Oh, wow.
You are hot.
633
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,310
Do you hear yourself? You're
actually using your outside voice.
634
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,592
This is awful. What if Zooey
had walked in and seen this?
635
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:18,874
This is awful even for you.
636
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,518
Zooey's fast asleep, but...
637
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,794
Even for me?
I think I should probably...
638
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,553
What do you mean?
This is not 1992, Jo.
639
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,232
You can't just bring
some dude home and
640
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,673
screw him on our couch...
On my couch.
641
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,159
Should I have gone to the
guesthouse with Zooey there?
642
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,639
That would have been...
Hello?
643
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,911
Oh, was that a
parenting decision?
644
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,594
That's the first parenting
I've seen you do all week.
645
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,396
You are out of control.
646
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:43,277
You have no boundaries. You have just
come steamrolling into this house
647
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,920
like you own this place,
and your daughter...
648
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:46,910
My daughter is a wonderful girl.
649
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,150
Don't you say one goddamn thing about her.
Your daughter is wonderful.
650
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,798
Yes.
And she acts like she is your nanny.
651
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,599
She's my life, okay?
She's my life, and I spent
652
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,796
five seconds with your girl,
and I got that she's a brat.
653
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,433
She is a brat!
She's a little mean girl.
654
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,748
She's a brat because
she is a teenager,
655
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,319
and she is supposed
to be a brat.
656
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,789
Your daughter behaves like
she is a 40-year-old woman.
657
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,396
How about this? You say nothing
about my kid again, ever, ever.
658
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,833
You say nothing about my life,
659
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:11,151
okay? 'Cause we all know
you give some shitty advice.
660
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,072
Oh, okay.
You give shitty advice.
661
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,355
You want some shitty advice? Get the
hell out of my house. - Okay, fine.
662
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,793
You know what?
Screw you.
663
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,154
Zooey and I are going
back home tomorrow,
664
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,033
'cause I have a husband
who still wants me.
665
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,796
Yeah, and loves me.
666
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:34,634
I have never had it.
667
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,638
Hey. I got to get
going soon.
668
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,711
Hey, awesome.
Um, aw.
669
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,358
I, um... I think I'm
gonna hang for a bit.
670
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,953
Mmm-hmm. What?
We're just talking.
671
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:45,794
We'll see,
Mr. Discipline.
672
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:47,435
Whatever.
673
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:56,594
Any movement from
the houseguests?
674
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,113
Mmm, no.
675
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,668
I mean, Zooey usually gets
her mom coffee around 11:00.
676
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,668
Wow.
Yeah.
677
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,389
I'm sure that Jo is not speaking
to me this morning, anyway.
678
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,314
Maybe this can help.
679
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,074
Better be good.
680
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,350
Mmm.
Oh, my God.
681
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:22,872
It's so good.
682
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:27,678
Thank you.
683
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:30,875
What?
684
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,953
I've also been
experimenting with writing...
685
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,558
A book.
686
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:39,235
You're a writer?
687
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,753
Well, I don't think you
can call yourself that
688
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,877
when you haven't been published,
but I did write this.
689
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,031
It's about my last
time up Everest.
690
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,639
It's a lot of pages.
691
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:51,869
You just had that in your bag?
692
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:53,029
Yeah.
693
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,230
Look, you can totally say no,
but I was kind of hoping
694
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,232
you would take a look at it
and tell me what you thought.
695
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,115
Sure.
696
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,789
Are you sure?
697
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,871
That didn't seem sure.
I'm nervous about it.
698
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,393
What if I...
What if I don't like it?
699
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,518
Oh, well, then you just
tell me what you don't like,
700
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:11,555
and I'll try and fix it.
Really?
701
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,835
I'm... I'm a big boy.
Really? You can take it?
702
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,717
I think so, yeah.
All right, I'll read it.
703
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,475
But say you do like it, would you be
comfortable passing it on to your editor?
704
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,957
Um, yeah.
Sure.
705
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,870
Wait, wait, wait. What, uh...
What just happened?
706
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,752
No, it's fine. I'll just, um...
I'm gonna put it on my desk,
707
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,549
and I will read it.
708
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:37,674
Cool. Thanks.
709
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,550
He says, "Do you mind
passing it on to your editor?"
710
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,352
That is terrible.
711
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,357
I don't see the problem
here at all.
712
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:49,748
It's a couple of booty calls,
713
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,637
and then the old chick
helps you with your career.
714
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,915
No, that is not Will.
It's sexy.
715
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,956
You have beauty and clout.
He loves it.
716
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,640
Or he is selfish and crass and
Abby's getting played. - Oh, my God.
717
00:33:58,720 --> 00:33:59,994
That's right.
And I should have known.
718
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,559
I mean, I'm almost 20 years
older than the guy.
719
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,439
Bullshit. Why is it okay
for a man with power
720
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,239
to date a younger woman who benefits
from it, but not the other way around?
721
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,953
I don't like it the other
way around either, and...
722
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,958
And I want to be the pretty, pretty
princess. I don't want to be a resource.
723
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:13,919
Are you sure your friend
won't be joining you?
724
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,754
Not unless you have a straw that
stretches 3,000 miles, but thank you.
725
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:19,035
I'm sorry about Jo leaving.
726
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:20,714
Her New York attitude
would have been fun.
727
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,075
She would have loved
hating this place.
728
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,679
Divorce...
729
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:26,434
It's not for wimps.
730
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,511
Oh, my God, that dress.
That's so beautiful.
731
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,436
It's a little much.
No, no, it's gorgeous.
732
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,395
What's happening with you?
733
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,795
I'm fine. I'm just a little
distracted by work, I feel like.
734
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,799
I am too.
I'm distracted by work too.
735
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,838
I'm supposed to write this article
on my crazy disaster dates,
736
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:47,072
and there weren't disasters. They
were weird and... And fun and...
737
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,230
You got to kiss a ferret.
I got to kiss a ferret,
738
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,709
which is not the article they want
me to write, so I have no thesis.
739
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,558
'Cause that'll be
a great article.
740
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,551
Great, well, guess what? You
guys have jobs. Congratulations.
741
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,518
I, on the other hand, got fired
from day one of volunteering.
742
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,160
It turns out I spent all that money
on life coaching and Doom Face,
743
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:03,595
and I can't even haul
a box of zucchini properly.
744
00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,119
So what?
You can't pull off overalls.
745
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,119
Just let it go.
No, I don't want to let it go
746
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,397
because it's what I want to be doing. Marco
is doing what I want to be doing and...
747
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,839
It gets hard, and I bail.
748
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,151
So you need to go back.
No,
749
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:16,753
cannot go back.
750
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,432
Promised him I would
not go back.
751
00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:21,188
Oh, you know what? Screw him.
He's being a pretty-ist.
752
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:22,918
Oh, shit.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
753
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,115
Oh, my God.
Jesus.
754
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,199
Oh, my God, my dress is ruined.
755
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,679
No, no, it's dry cleaning.
756
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,318
It's just dry cleaning.
I have a great one.
757
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,838
Oh, my God.
758
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:34,469
God, it's ruined.
759
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,759
Abby, my dress is ruined.
Everything was perfect,
760
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,114
and now it's ruined.
761
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,798
I don't think this is about the dress.
762
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,037
What's happening?
I am...
763
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:47,269
I'm having an affair.
764
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,031
I had an affair with
Gordon Beech.
765
00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:54,757
Oh, my God, I knew it.
Gordon Beech, your client?
766
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:59,551
It's so against all the rules,
and it is so, um...
767
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:03,872
Risky and so stupid, and I
never do things like this, and
768
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:05,548
he's sleeping with his wife.
769
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,674
He had sex with... I mean,
literally just to sign the papers,
770
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,918
but, God, I was so
mad, and then I
771
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:16,272
thought later that this was his
weird, twisted way of... Of...
772
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,315
Doing it for us.
773
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,080
And he treats me like a goddess.
774
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,952
I mean, he bought me
this dress, and...
775
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,997
Oh, my God. Delia,
you're in love with him.
776
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,599
I hate love.
777
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:40,389
Hi.
Hey.
778
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,597
Car's coming in 10, and then
we'll be out of your hair.
779
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,394
I'm sorry I didn't have
time to wash the sheets.
780
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,675
I... I'm sorry about
last night.
781
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,597
I... Really,
I overstepped.
782
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,955
But come on, you...
You got to give me a break.
783
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,229
I mean, of course I got angry.
784
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:57,719
I'm gonna have to burn my couch.
785
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:00,549
Don't go.
786
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,278
I know you're going through
an incredibly hard time,
787
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:07,512
but I promise you there is so much
good on the other side of it. I swear.
788
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,876
Yeah, you've made it
look really delightful, Abby.
789
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,110
It is delightful.
I'm delighted.
790
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,113
Even my disaster dates
were delightful.
791
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,758
Because I'm free
792
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,830
to have new experiences
and to meet new people.
793
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:29,073
And with Will, I feel like... Okay,
well, that might be over, but...
794
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,556
Jo, just to feel...
795
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,434
Just to feel like
anything's possible?
796
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:42,036
I'm... I mean, the disaster
is staying miserable
797
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:46,193
because it's familiar and new is scary.
That's a disaster.
798
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:51,433
I tried something new with
Doug, and it was disgusting.
799
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,877
That's because it was Doug,
and Doug is disgusting,
800
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:56,599
and you have no impulse control.
801
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,797
But...
802
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,833
I don't want to get a divorce.
803
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:10,393
Who wants to get divorced?
Nobody wants to get divorced,
804
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,119
but I'm telling you,
once you step into this...
805
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:15,153
This life,
806
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:18,391
you will think, "What the hell
took me so long?"
807
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,991
You got to give it a chance, Jo.
808
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,750
You got to stay. Stay for yourself.
Stay for your daughter.
809
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,795
Stay.
810
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,470
Can we?
I want to.
811
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,157
So...
812
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,474
We'll stay.
813
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,109
- Really?
- Yeah.
814
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:43,474
Thank you.
815
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,996
I'm sorry I'm such a crazy asshole.
816
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,718
I'm so sorry.
817
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,400
But she knows.
She knows it's...
818
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,400
And I'm gonna try some
of that LA stuff, okay?
819
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,394
I'm gonna try the meditation
and the chanting and shit.
820
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,711
Good. You're gonna be a nightmare
in those classes, but good.
821
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:21,475
Thank you.
822
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,991
Dude, what the hell, man?
823
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,878
Been here three hours.
Worked her ass off.
824
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,237
Lot of yoga.
Strong core.
825
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,638
Hey.
Hey.
826
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,350
Eight more boxes to go,
and then you owe me a beer.
827
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,471
Phoebe, listen...
I know. I promised.
828
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,716
But isn't this a place
about second chances?
829
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,831
For addicts in recovery.
830
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:56,909
Okay, well, maybe I am in recovery
from being a silly, superficial chick.
831
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,995
What you do here is important,
and I want to be a part of it.
832
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,912
So are you gonna
help me or what?
833
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:19,915
What do you think?
834
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,958
I think, uh... It's
nothing like I expected.
835
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,716
I think it's frickin' brave.
836
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,550
It's gonna upset a
lot of people,
837
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,957
and, uh, yeah,
838
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,589
you could make some, uh...
Some real haters.
839
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,476
Well, good,
840
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,151
because I am the
new Abby McCarthy,
841
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,078
and I say bring it on.
842
00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:12,500
Ripped By mstoll