1 00:00:02,543 --> 00:00:03,910 If you were a superhero 2 00:00:04,044 --> 00:00:05,512 and you could pick your superpower, 3 00:00:05,613 --> 00:00:08,314 would you rather be able to turn yourself invisible 4 00:00:08,415 --> 00:00:09,616 or fly? 5 00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,918 Fly. 6 00:00:12,019 --> 00:00:13,319 You're not even gonna give that any thought? 7 00:00:13,454 --> 00:00:14,621 Oh, I've given it a lot of thought. 8 00:00:14,755 --> 00:00:17,023 I think it would be super cool to pick up and fly. 9 00:00:17,157 --> 00:00:18,157 Come on, whenever, wherever. 10 00:00:18,292 --> 00:00:19,626 You realize if you were invisible, 11 00:00:19,727 --> 00:00:20,760 you could see anyone you wanted naked. 12 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,128 You realize that if I could fly 13 00:00:22,263 --> 00:00:23,563 I could see anyone I wanted naked. 14 00:00:23,697 --> 00:00:25,265 Hey, how you doing? First time here? 15 00:00:25,399 --> 00:00:26,833 What's your sign? I can fly. 16 00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:28,401 Oh, you're dating Derek Jeter? 17 00:00:28,536 --> 00:00:30,637 That's sweet. I can fly. 18 00:00:30,771 --> 00:00:32,071 Okay, good point. Point taken. 19 00:00:32,172 --> 00:00:33,640 Chicago north, ambulance needed. 20 00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:34,874 939 west north. 21 00:00:35,009 --> 00:00:36,743 - Ambulance 14 responding. - [Siren wails] 22 00:00:36,877 --> 00:00:39,279 Don't get me wrong, I would love to fly, 23 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,581 but I think I would have to go with invisibility. 24 00:00:41,715 --> 00:00:44,684 Mostly for its crime-fighting possibilities. 25 00:00:44,818 --> 00:00:46,252 Sounds kind of sneaky to me. 26 00:00:46,387 --> 00:00:48,354 - Yeah, very sneaky. - Sneaky, that's good. 27 00:00:48,455 --> 00:00:49,789 - That's why I'd be invisible too. - Yeah. 28 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,057 I'd fly. 29 00:00:51,158 --> 00:00:54,060 [Hip-hop music] 30 00:00:54,194 --> 00:00:56,649 Sync & Corrections by Darcade - Addic7ed.com - 31 00:00:57,765 --> 00:00:58,699 Where's our customer? 32 00:00:58,699 --> 00:00:59,900 He's on the third floor near the weight machines. 33 00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,234 I'll meet you up there. 34 00:01:01,369 --> 00:01:03,336 - Oh. - What's going on? 35 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,337 Wait, what's... 36 00:01:04,472 --> 00:01:05,505 It's just a routine check. 37 00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:06,940 Nothing to worry about. 38 00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:09,109 Hey... half price wheatgrass shots right now 39 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:10,544 at the juice bar, huh? 40 00:01:10,678 --> 00:01:11,978 Third floor? How big is this place? 41 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,414 Considering the whole first floor was a juice bar? 42 00:01:14,549 --> 00:01:16,583 I scoped this place out when I was looking for a gym. 43 00:01:16,717 --> 00:01:18,285 It is crazy expensive. 44 00:01:18,386 --> 00:01:19,786 I wouldn't pay that much for rent. 45 00:01:19,921 --> 00:01:21,621 And I know what you're gonna say. 46 00:01:21,722 --> 00:01:24,091 "Brian, you don't pay rent; You still live with your parents. 47 00:01:24,225 --> 00:01:26,093 Do you even know how much rents are going for these days?" 48 00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:29,229 And to you, I would say, "if rent is anywhere 49 00:01:29,363 --> 00:01:32,833 near what it costs to go to this gym, no, thank you, rent." 50 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,001 My gym is the cheapest gym in the city. 51 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,404 It's great, and it's always open. 52 00:01:37,538 --> 00:01:39,940 Well, sometimes they close it for quinceañeras on the weekend. 53 00:01:40,074 --> 00:01:41,842 Sometimes it just mysteriously shuts down 54 00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,344 for days at a time, but it always comes back. 55 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,846 This is the most hot women I've ever seen in Chicago, 56 00:01:45,947 --> 00:01:46,980 period, let alone in one place. 57 00:01:47,081 --> 00:01:48,215 There are women here? 58 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,516 'Cause all I see are beautiful, beautiful men. 59 00:01:49,617 --> 00:01:50,917 This is the first time I ever wanted to do that thing 60 00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:52,252 they do in cartoons where they rub their eyes 61 00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:53,453 and open them again just to make sure 62 00:01:53,554 --> 00:01:55,889 what they're looking at is really happening. 63 00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:58,658 Oh, screw it. I'm gonna do it anyway. 64 00:01:58,793 --> 00:02:01,628 [Babbles, then laughs] 65 00:02:01,762 --> 00:02:03,029 - This is real, Hank. - It's real. 66 00:02:03,131 --> 00:02:06,066 - This is real. - Mm-hmm, it's happening. 67 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,167 - Guys! - Huh? 68 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:09,336 - Over here. - Right. 69 00:02:12,473 --> 00:02:14,875 [Groans] 70 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,309 It's this asshole's fault. 71 00:02:16,444 --> 00:02:17,477 Machine isn't calibrated. 72 00:02:17,578 --> 00:02:18,745 Sir, if you could just keep your voice down... 73 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,680 I will not keep it down! 74 00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:25,418 With the prices I pay, I expect proper calibration! 75 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,254 This is not properly calibrated. 76 00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:28,588 Okay, guys, we're looking 77 00:02:28,723 --> 00:02:30,957 at a third-degree groin tear, possibly. 78 00:02:31,092 --> 00:02:33,326 Mm-hmm. 79 00:02:33,427 --> 00:02:35,929 You better lawyer up, 'cause I'm coming for you. 80 00:02:36,063 --> 00:02:38,732 You are gonna pay. [Groans] 81 00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:43,203 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Cold, cold. 82 00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:44,337 Ahh. Give it a minute. 83 00:02:44,472 --> 00:02:45,939 Give it a minute. Give it a minute. 84 00:02:46,073 --> 00:02:48,808 [Hisses] 85 00:02:48,943 --> 00:02:49,809 What's your name? What's your name? 86 00:02:49,911 --> 00:02:51,211 - Lance. - Really, Lance? 87 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,412 Lance. Yeah, why? 88 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,147 You just don't look like a Lance. 89 00:02:54,248 --> 00:02:55,482 Never would've guessed. 90 00:02:55,616 --> 00:02:56,983 What are Lances supposed to look like? 91 00:02:57,118 --> 00:03:00,453 Lance Armstrong, Lance Bass, Lance Burton. 92 00:03:00,588 --> 00:03:01,788 Who? 93 00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:04,991 Magician, he retired in 2010 at his absolute prime. 94 00:03:05,126 --> 00:03:07,694 Anyways, it just seems that all Lances share a certain, 95 00:03:07,828 --> 00:03:10,530 I don't know, aerodynamic body type. 96 00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:11,932 You're saying I'm not aerodynamic enough 97 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:12,933 to be a Lance? 98 00:03:13,034 --> 00:03:14,167 It's not a bad thing. 99 00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:15,969 You'd smoke those guys in upper body strength. 100 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,037 Yeah, I would. 101 00:03:17,171 --> 00:03:19,339 Especially Armstrong. Bicycle bitch. 102 00:03:19,473 --> 00:03:22,842 Uh, but, Lance, I'm noticing that you've got this leg press 103 00:03:22,977 --> 00:03:24,444 awfully fully loaded. 104 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,445 Yeah, so? 105 00:03:25,546 --> 00:03:27,280 - I can handle it. - Really? 106 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,216 When the machine is calibrated right. 107 00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:30,317 Really? 108 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,452 That's a lot of weights. 109 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,355 I know, but I like to push myself. 110 00:03:35,489 --> 00:03:36,856 That's how you get strong. 111 00:03:36,991 --> 00:03:38,925 You know, Lance, sometimes the strongest thing 112 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:43,697 a man can do is admit when he's carrying too much weight. 113 00:03:43,831 --> 00:03:48,602 Sometimes I do push myself too hard, I guess. 114 00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,837 That's the amazing thing about the human body, Lance. 115 00:03:50,972 --> 00:03:53,006 It'll let you know when you need to slow down. 116 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:55,275 You just got to listen to it, am I right? 117 00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:57,444 I've just been running too hard for too long, man. 118 00:03:57,545 --> 00:04:01,481 Yeah, yeah, it's okay. Right, guys? 119 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:05,252 Uh-huh. 120 00:04:05,353 --> 00:04:07,254 [Mouths words] 121 00:04:08,723 --> 00:04:11,458 Unlimited passes to the sexiest gym on the planet. 122 00:04:11,559 --> 00:04:12,659 Brian, you're the freaking man. 123 00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:13,727 You're the champ. 124 00:04:13,861 --> 00:04:15,295 - Can I sit shotgun tomorrow? - No. 125 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,464 You know, that gym is gonna be my new home away from home. 126 00:04:17,565 --> 00:04:18,732 We were there for, what, 127 00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:21,201 like, ten minutes, and I saw side boob, top boob, 128 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,770 and if I'm not mistaken, a little under-boob. 129 00:04:23,904 --> 00:04:26,006 And I got to say, that's a special treat. 130 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,907 - Did you notice that? - I did not notice that. 131 00:04:28,042 --> 00:04:30,610 But did anyone else happen to clock all the d'Angelo Vs 132 00:04:30,745 --> 00:04:31,745 just walking around? 133 00:04:31,846 --> 00:04:33,113 What are d'Angelo Vs? 134 00:04:33,214 --> 00:04:34,648 You know, when the dude's got abs so ripped, 135 00:04:34,782 --> 00:04:36,416 they get that V-shape right here. 136 00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:38,518 First time I saw it was in a d'Angelo music video 137 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:39,886 from, like, 15 years ago. 138 00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:42,355 He was all naked and alone in the dark, sweating, 139 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,790 for some reason spinning. 140 00:04:43,891 --> 00:04:45,892 And he had those abs so ripped, 141 00:04:46,027 --> 00:04:47,127 looked like a sexy G.I. Joe. 142 00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:48,428 Don't want to talk about that. 143 00:04:48,562 --> 00:04:49,629 Well, I don't want to talk about under-boob. 144 00:04:49,764 --> 00:04:51,264 - I don't care for it. - What about asses? 145 00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:53,033 - Well, I love asses. - Everyone loves asses. 146 00:04:53,134 --> 00:04:54,100 You're right. Everyone loves asses. 147 00:04:54,235 --> 00:04:55,335 We can all agree on asses. 148 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,503 Asses are the sexual town square. 149 00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:58,538 Asses unite us. 150 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,908 ♪ We got free passes to check out some fine asses ♪ 151 00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:04,644 ♪ Gonna get my opera glasses to look at all them butts ♪ 152 00:05:04,779 --> 00:05:05,645 - Them what? - Butts. 153 00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:06,680 - Mm. - Butts. 154 00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:08,515 - Mm. - Butt-butt-butt-butt-butts. 155 00:05:08,649 --> 00:05:09,849 - Ah! - [Chuckles] 156 00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:12,652 You guys, I didn't notice any butts. 157 00:05:12,787 --> 00:05:13,987 - Huh? - Not one. 158 00:05:14,121 --> 00:05:15,822 You're gonna tell me you didn't check out 159 00:05:15,956 --> 00:05:17,657 one girl on that call? 160 00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:20,627 No. Whoa. 161 00:05:20,761 --> 00:05:23,229 You guys, I think all this not having sex with Voo 162 00:05:23,331 --> 00:05:24,664 might have done something to me. 163 00:05:24,799 --> 00:05:27,901 What, you think that dating an asexual made you butt-blind? 164 00:05:28,002 --> 00:05:29,436 I don't know, but something's definitely different. 165 00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:30,937 You can't change your sexuality. 166 00:05:31,038 --> 00:05:32,105 How do you know, Hank? 167 00:05:32,239 --> 00:05:33,640 Just let it... just... 168 00:05:33,774 --> 00:05:37,210 I don't know if it's that I've changed my sexuality, 169 00:05:37,345 --> 00:05:40,513 more like transcended it. 170 00:05:40,614 --> 00:05:42,515 Yeah, I think that's it. 171 00:05:42,650 --> 00:05:44,951 I am a transcendual. 172 00:05:45,086 --> 00:05:46,986 Okay, what exactly does that mean? 173 00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:51,725 Means that, well, I was born sexual like you guys, 174 00:05:51,859 --> 00:05:54,928 and then I just... I sort of... 175 00:05:55,062 --> 00:05:57,163 - That makes sense. - So you... and you just... see? 176 00:05:57,264 --> 00:05:59,733 - He came up here, like, above us. - Yeah, above us. 177 00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:03,503 And I got to tell you guys, I'm excited. 178 00:06:03,604 --> 00:06:05,305 Back when I was sexual, it was hard 179 00:06:05,439 --> 00:06:07,674 to even get through a magazine. 180 00:06:07,808 --> 00:06:09,576 Our culture is just constantly 181 00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:11,511 assaulting us with attractive people. 182 00:06:11,612 --> 00:06:14,280 - Yeah. - Thanks, culture. Mm. 183 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,015 Some of these girls aren't even wearing thongs 184 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:17,016 or anything, I'm telling you. 185 00:06:17,118 --> 00:06:18,785 - Oh, shh, shh. - Hey. 186 00:06:18,886 --> 00:06:20,587 - What up, guys? - What's up, y'all? 187 00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:23,289 - Oh, Brian is a transcendual. - Oh, that's dope. 188 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,290 - I didn't know that about you. - What? 189 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,425 Are you gonna change your name? 190 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:26,559 Oh, no, he didn't say transsexual. 191 00:06:26,694 --> 00:06:28,795 - He said transcendual. - Hmm. 192 00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:31,131 I don't know what that is, but that's cool too, man. 193 00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,866 I got mad respect for self-identification. 194 00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:34,000 What are you guys doing here? 195 00:06:34,135 --> 00:06:35,702 A witness interview for a hit-and-run. 196 00:06:35,803 --> 00:06:37,137 What are you guys up to? 197 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:40,273 We got free lifetime passes to the big gym in Lincoln park. 198 00:06:40,374 --> 00:06:42,075 - The fancy gym? - Yeah. 199 00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:43,743 No way! 200 00:06:43,844 --> 00:06:45,245 Michelle Obama goes to that gym. 201 00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:46,479 Mm-hmm, her body is ♪ fine ♪ 202 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,381 I have been wanting to go there forever, 203 00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:50,583 but it's just so goddamn expensive, so... 204 00:06:50,718 --> 00:06:52,285 I know. It sucks. 205 00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,653 And obviously I'd love to work out 206 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,388 with my beautiful girlfriend next to me the whole time, 207 00:06:55,489 --> 00:06:56,589 but we only got these three passes, 208 00:06:56,724 --> 00:06:57,824 and like you said, it's crazy expensive. 209 00:06:57,958 --> 00:07:00,527 So it's just one of those things, I guess. 210 00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:01,661 Tough break. 211 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:02,762 - She can have mine. - Hmm? 212 00:07:02,863 --> 00:07:04,531 Yeah, I mean, I don't need it anymore 213 00:07:04,665 --> 00:07:06,533 now that I'm transcendual and I don't see hotness. 214 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,536 Do you mind explaining this whole transcendual thing? 215 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,737 Yo, T, don't ask too many questions. 216 00:07:10,871 --> 00:07:13,106 You may say something offensive or stupid. 217 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,109 Whatever. Uh, fancy gym... 218 00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:17,610 Let's go tonight after work, huh? 219 00:07:17,711 --> 00:07:19,179 - Great. - Great. 220 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,313 Okay, well, we have to go. 221 00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:21,881 But thank you, Brian. 222 00:07:22,016 --> 00:07:23,049 - Brian... - I support you. 223 00:07:23,184 --> 00:07:24,651 Thank you, buddy. That means everything. 224 00:07:24,785 --> 00:07:27,120 Yeah, you're everything. 225 00:07:27,254 --> 00:07:28,421 Solving problems. 226 00:07:28,556 --> 00:07:29,722 So close. 227 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,257 Just saw it and just smashed it. 228 00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:32,292 Just smashed it. 229 00:07:32,393 --> 00:07:33,993 Did you hear anything I said up there? 230 00:07:34,128 --> 00:07:36,162 Oh, what a day. We're off to a good start. 231 00:07:36,297 --> 00:07:38,000 We're off to a shitty start. 232 00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:38,711 - Here we go. - He's hopping. 233 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,935 You know how you said we could never really be 234 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,837 boyfriend-girlfriend because you're asexual and I'm not, 235 00:07:43,939 --> 00:07:46,006 and it wouldn't work out in the long term 236 00:07:46,141 --> 00:07:49,076 because eventually one or both of us would get hurt? 237 00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,478 Yeah, I remember having that conversation 238 00:07:51,613 --> 00:07:52,713 several hundred times. 239 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,616 Well, I have some pretty big news. 240 00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:59,186 I have transcended my sexuality. 241 00:07:59,287 --> 00:08:01,355 Okay. 242 00:08:01,456 --> 00:08:04,425 So you think that you are never gonna want to have sex again? 243 00:08:04,426 --> 00:08:05,259 Yep. 244 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,394 That it's not something you're ever gonna be thinking about? 245 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,296 Correct. 246 00:08:09,397 --> 00:08:10,531 Great. 247 00:08:13,668 --> 00:08:15,035 Strip club. 248 00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,804 We're going to the strip club. Who's in? 249 00:08:16,905 --> 00:08:18,706 Can't, banned. Citywide. 250 00:08:18,807 --> 00:08:20,107 Also in Skokie. 251 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,375 - Do not ask. - Girlfriend. 252 00:08:21,509 --> 00:08:22,443 - Gay. - Lame. 253 00:08:22,577 --> 00:08:24,144 - Cash? - No, thank you. 254 00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:27,481 Strip clubs are for young men who lack imagination. 255 00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,917 My age, I can rub up against a cool breeze 256 00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:31,285 and get excited. 257 00:08:31,419 --> 00:08:33,587 The crack of dawn turns me on, baby. 258 00:08:33,688 --> 00:08:35,155 [Laughs] 259 00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:38,859 Or sometimes just a perfectly ripe tomato will do the trick. 260 00:08:38,994 --> 00:08:41,595 Now the whole world is my strip club. 261 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,130 Don't look at me. I hate strip clubs. 262 00:08:43,264 --> 00:08:44,398 Oh, I hear that. They bum me out. 263 00:08:44,532 --> 00:08:47,201 All them single moms dancing to feed their kids. 264 00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:50,137 Every time I've gone, I end up dropping more bills in G-strings 265 00:08:50,271 --> 00:08:51,505 than the straight men. 266 00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:53,207 I'd put school supplies in there too if there was room. 267 00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:56,210 No, it's not that they bum me out. 268 00:08:56,344 --> 00:09:00,581 Ah, it's just... well, I'm kind of a stripper magnet. 269 00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:02,316 Explain. 270 00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:03,450 In detail. 271 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,485 I wish I could. 272 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,620 There is just something about me 273 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,956 that makes strippers want to start unloading their problems. 274 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,592 And trust me, these girls have problems. 275 00:09:11,693 --> 00:09:14,762 So it's not all glitter and glamour like you think. 276 00:09:14,896 --> 00:09:16,730 Looks like it's just you and me, kid. 277 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,806 Can't believe Theresa's coming. 278 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,274 This was gonna be our special place. 279 00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:29,309 - It's perfect. - I know. 280 00:09:29,411 --> 00:09:31,278 It's like a gay bar and a straight bar rolled into one, 281 00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:32,813 except everybody's wearing 282 00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:34,381 tighter clothes and less of them. 283 00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:35,883 Take all the fun out of it. 284 00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:37,885 Now I got to worry about all these shallow scumbags 285 00:09:38,019 --> 00:09:39,887 checking out my girl... Oh, my God. 286 00:09:40,021 --> 00:09:41,822 Check out pink shorts. 287 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,957 That is a rock-solid ten. 288 00:09:44,092 --> 00:09:45,159 Maybe she's a ten on the street, 289 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,827 but in here, that girl's a seven at best. 290 00:09:46,928 --> 00:09:47,861 What? 291 00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:49,963 If that's a seven, show me a dime. 292 00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:52,266 That angel right over there doing leg lifts. 293 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,734 Lifting my spirits. 294 00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:55,069 - He's a ten. - That guy? 295 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:57,171 I mean, his body, sure, but his face is kind of jowly 296 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,338 is all I'm saying. 297 00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,640 He has a face? 298 00:09:59,774 --> 00:10:00,674 Oh, my God. 299 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,009 Oh, my God. 300 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,077 Purple top. 301 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,045 Her boobs are, um, 302 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,082 - I'm gonna use the word buoyant. - Ooh, nice word choice. 303 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,283 - Thank you. You like it? - Yes. 304 00:10:09,417 --> 00:10:10,551 - Want to hear another one? - Please. 305 00:10:10,685 --> 00:10:12,019 Black shorts, black top. 306 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,420 - Her ass? - Hit me. 307 00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:15,422 - Tidy. - [Laughs] 308 00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,424 Ooh, what about her ass? 309 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:18,692 Okay, well, her... 310 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,627 - Do you know Latin? 'Cause... - Hey, guys. 311 00:10:20,762 --> 00:10:22,763 - Whoa, hey, Theresa. - Hey. 312 00:10:22,897 --> 00:10:24,198 What's going on? 313 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,199 Here she is. 314 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,767 - Now the fun can start. - Yeah. 315 00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:29,503 You look so pretty today. So pretty. 316 00:10:29,604 --> 00:10:33,307 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 317 00:10:33,441 --> 00:10:35,576 Way to stroll, guys. 318 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,577 [Laughs] Yeah. 319 00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:38,979 Come on! [Laughs] 320 00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:40,714 Oh, my God, look at the girl in the purple top. 321 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:44,151 - What? Where? - The one with the perky boobs. 322 00:10:44,285 --> 00:10:46,019 Check out her triceps. 323 00:10:46,121 --> 00:10:47,988 I could do a hundred dips a day 324 00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:50,424 and never have triceps like that. 325 00:10:50,558 --> 00:10:51,792 You've got amazing triceps. 326 00:10:51,926 --> 00:10:53,427 - Doesn't she, Hank? - Uhhuh. 327 00:10:53,561 --> 00:10:55,362 And her ass. [Whistles] 328 00:10:55,463 --> 00:10:57,798 She must do squats in her sleep. 329 00:10:57,899 --> 00:10:59,066 She's gorgeous. 330 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,067 No one's hotter than you, baby. 331 00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:01,468 Stop complimenting me. 332 00:11:01,603 --> 00:11:03,437 It's weird. 333 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,539 Oh, excuse me. 334 00:11:05,673 --> 00:11:07,141 I just remembered there's a steam room 335 00:11:07,242 --> 00:11:10,043 that I'm hoping involves some very clear steam. 336 00:11:10,178 --> 00:11:11,111 Hey. 337 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,479 - What? - Check out that girl. 338 00:11:12,614 --> 00:11:13,814 She's cut. 339 00:11:13,948 --> 00:11:16,750 There are no women like that at the cop gym. 340 00:11:16,851 --> 00:11:19,153 It's inspiring. 341 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,156 Makes me want to up my workout game, you know? 342 00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:25,192 - I'm gonna come here every night. - Oh, cool. 343 00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,227 That's so cool. 344 00:11:27,362 --> 00:11:28,462 What about that book club... 345 00:11:28,596 --> 00:11:30,264 Honey, who do you think has better muscle tone? 346 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,899 Yellow sneakers or side braid? 347 00:11:32,033 --> 00:11:33,033 I'm sure I have no idea. 348 00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:34,835 Oh, you can't see those girls either? 349 00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:36,170 I don't come to the gym to check out women. 350 00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:37,304 Neither do I. 351 00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:39,373 Doesn't hurt to look while I'm here. 352 00:11:39,474 --> 00:11:40,641 You don't check out the guys? 353 00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:42,075 No, that's what I go to whole foods for. 354 00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:43,177 What? 355 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:46,180 Come on, yellow sneakers, side braid, go. 356 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,581 I'm not answering this. 357 00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:51,185 You are really taking the fun out of fancy gym, you know that? 358 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:52,252 Wh... 359 00:11:52,353 --> 00:11:53,954 It's yellow sneakers, by the way. 360 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:57,024 [R&b music] 361 00:11:57,158 --> 00:12:00,127 ♪ ♪ 362 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,361 How is this even legal? 363 00:12:01,496 --> 00:12:02,796 They're not even topless, Brian. 364 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,765 Not that. $10 for a water. 365 00:12:04,899 --> 00:12:06,667 $3 for a lemon slice. 366 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,602 This is... [scoffs] This is robbery. 367 00:12:08,736 --> 00:12:10,804 Excuse me, we need a stripper over here. 368 00:12:10,905 --> 00:12:12,806 Oh, and sure, they give you free peanuts 369 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,641 because they want you to buy the water. 370 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:15,676 I know what they're doing. 371 00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:18,579 I'm not gonna let them win. 372 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,448 My friend here will have one lap dance, please. 373 00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:24,218 Awesome. 374 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:25,752 - What's your name? - Brian. 375 00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:28,488 Excuse me, miss, but I just have to ask. 376 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,591 - How much is a burger here? - I don't know. 377 00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:33,594 I don't eat here. 378 00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:35,395 She wants you to put money in there. 379 00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:37,297 Oh, yeah. I only have a 20. 380 00:12:37,432 --> 00:12:40,133 Do you happen to have any change or... 381 00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:41,535 I'm dancing pretty hard for you here. 382 00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:43,136 I could really use some encouragement. 383 00:12:43,238 --> 00:12:45,005 Okay. 384 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,709 All right. Uh... 385 00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:51,245 - What the hell, man? - Okay, forget him. 386 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:54,414 New plan. Do me. 387 00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:55,649 Mm. 388 00:12:55,783 --> 00:12:56,950 Oh, yeah. 389 00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:58,652 How about this, Brian? Huh? 390 00:12:58,786 --> 00:13:01,021 A little girl-on-girl action? 391 00:13:01,122 --> 00:13:02,990 Is this doing anything for you? 392 00:13:03,124 --> 00:13:05,125 Oh, excuse me, miss, 393 00:13:05,226 --> 00:13:07,094 but is her dance gonna be extra? 394 00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:08,795 Yeah. Two lap dances, two people. 395 00:13:08,896 --> 00:13:14,201 That's 80 bucks. 80 doll... [Coughs] 396 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,370 Hey, this guy needs a water. 397 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,971 [Coughing] No, no, no! 398 00:13:18,106 --> 00:13:19,206 - I'm fine. - Okay. 399 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,208 No water. [Coughs] 400 00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:25,128 I mean, that girl has the best thighs I've seen 401 00:13:25,128 --> 00:13:26,228 since Serena Williams. 402 00:13:26,363 --> 00:13:28,931 Powerful but lean. What do you think? 403 00:13:29,065 --> 00:13:30,666 I think she has nice thighs. 404 00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:34,270 - I bet she even has a nice brain. - Oh, please. 405 00:13:34,404 --> 00:13:36,005 I'm sorry, I'm not talking about another woman's thighs 406 00:13:36,139 --> 00:13:37,373 with my girlfriend... It's weird. 407 00:13:37,507 --> 00:13:39,341 Oh, right, but it would be less weird 408 00:13:39,476 --> 00:13:41,710 if you came to the gym and checked out girls with Hank? 409 00:13:41,845 --> 00:13:43,112 Yeah, honestly, it would be. 410 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,747 There are certain things you just don't talk about 411 00:13:44,848 --> 00:13:46,081 with the person you're in a relationship with. 412 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,316 Oh, come on. 413 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:48,817 I'm sorry. It's a slippery slope. 414 00:13:48,952 --> 00:13:50,452 I certainly don't want to know what you think about other guys. 415 00:13:50,587 --> 00:13:53,389 That is because you feel threatened. 416 00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,558 [Laughs] Yeah, and that's normal. 417 00:13:55,692 --> 00:13:56,692 How come you don't feel threatened 418 00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:58,160 about me looking at other women? 419 00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,261 'Cause at the end of the day, 420 00:13:59,396 --> 00:14:02,831 I know you're coming home with me. 421 00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:05,434 Tell me that girl doesn't have amazing abs. 422 00:14:05,535 --> 00:14:06,769 Slippery slope, baby. 423 00:14:06,903 --> 00:14:08,337 - It's a slippery slope. - We have to leave. 424 00:14:08,471 --> 00:14:11,140 - We have to leave right now. - Why? 425 00:14:11,274 --> 00:14:13,709 I was in the steam room, and it was great at first. 426 00:14:13,843 --> 00:14:15,477 I was checking out all the hot guys. 427 00:14:15,612 --> 00:14:18,047 All the hot guys were checking out all the other hot guys. 428 00:14:18,181 --> 00:14:21,417 And then I noticed no one was checking out me. 429 00:14:21,551 --> 00:14:22,918 No one has checked me out since I stepped foot 430 00:14:23,053 --> 00:14:24,453 in this gym, Johnny. 431 00:14:24,588 --> 00:14:26,121 On the streets of Chicago, I'm a tall, handsome drink of water. 432 00:14:26,223 --> 00:14:27,256 In here, I'm just tall. 433 00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:29,792 I am sure someone has checked you out. 434 00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:30,993 I don't know. 435 00:14:31,127 --> 00:14:32,261 I'm sure we have all been checked out. 436 00:14:32,362 --> 00:14:33,696 I don't know. Look around. 437 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:37,299 This place is a total meat market. 438 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,801 And we just vegetables. 439 00:14:38,935 --> 00:14:40,603 I always get checked out at the cop gym, 440 00:14:40,737 --> 00:14:42,404 - by men and women. - Yeah, that's the cop gym. 441 00:14:42,539 --> 00:14:44,106 Look around. This is a whole other level. 442 00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:46,075 What is the matter with you two? 443 00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:47,743 Why can't you just enjoy the view? 444 00:14:47,844 --> 00:14:49,278 Why do you have to know that you're on the menu? 445 00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:51,714 Because the gym is where I go to, to feel good about myself. 446 00:14:51,848 --> 00:14:53,649 Right, it's a whole boost. 447 00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:54,917 You want to feel good about yourself, 448 00:14:55,051 --> 00:14:56,385 go to Navy Pier or the zoo. 449 00:14:56,519 --> 00:14:57,953 It's a bunch of fat people eating funnel cakes. 450 00:14:58,088 --> 00:14:59,388 Not for nothing, 451 00:14:59,489 --> 00:15:02,458 even straight girls check me out at the gym sometimes. 452 00:15:02,559 --> 00:15:03,993 You know what? 453 00:15:04,127 --> 00:15:06,462 It's because John and I have been together the whole time. 454 00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:07,463 - Okay. - Oh. 455 00:15:07,597 --> 00:15:08,464 Am I bringing down your average? 456 00:15:08,598 --> 00:15:10,566 Give me some space, babe. God. 457 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:14,503 Go, soar. 458 00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:18,641 Oh, off the shoulder, okay. 459 00:15:18,775 --> 00:15:20,776 Oh, yeah. There she goes. 460 00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:22,544 - Oh. - She moved down. 461 00:15:22,679 --> 00:15:25,347 Oh, she's mooning the guy next to her. 462 00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:27,316 She's backing the moon into his face. 463 00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:28,550 Okay, just... 464 00:15:28,685 --> 00:15:30,552 - Oh, is that a yawn? - Ooh. 465 00:15:30,687 --> 00:15:31,687 He looked at her ass and yawned. 466 00:15:31,788 --> 00:15:35,024 Oh, girl, you know that hurt. 467 00:15:35,158 --> 00:15:36,792 Oh, she's not giving up, though, is she? 468 00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,594 Ooh, girl. 469 00:15:41,731 --> 00:15:45,768 Oh, I think she might have pulled something there. 470 00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:48,437 She's gonna go for the dual cable cross. 471 00:15:48,538 --> 00:15:49,471 That's right. Shake it off, girl. 472 00:15:49,606 --> 00:15:50,539 Shake it off. You can do it. Yeah. 473 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,441 This is a classically sexy machine. 474 00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:55,377 Dude... oh, here comes a guy... And nothing. 475 00:15:55,512 --> 00:15:57,012 - Oh. - Swing and a miss. 476 00:15:57,147 --> 00:15:58,847 Hey, sweetie, let's go, honey. 477 00:15:58,982 --> 00:16:00,349 - Give me a second! - Nope, sweetie. 478 00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:01,350 Let's go. 479 00:16:01,484 --> 00:16:02,718 No, just give me a minute. 480 00:16:02,819 --> 00:16:04,920 Just let her work through it. I'll buy you a shot. 481 00:16:05,055 --> 00:16:06,155 One of those wheatgrass things? 482 00:16:06,289 --> 00:16:07,723 Hell, no. Tequila, it's a bar next door. 483 00:16:07,824 --> 00:16:09,124 Oh, maybe that can be our special place. 484 00:16:09,225 --> 00:16:10,659 - Yeah, yeah, let's do it. - Let's go. Yes. 485 00:16:10,794 --> 00:16:12,394 Screw fancy gym. 486 00:16:15,231 --> 00:16:16,098 Ahh. 487 00:16:16,232 --> 00:16:18,067 Nothing tastes as good as free. 488 00:16:18,201 --> 00:16:21,570 Do you realize that our whole meal is half the price 489 00:16:21,705 --> 00:16:23,672 of one stripper water with lemon? 490 00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:26,141 Cool. 491 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,409 What's wrong, V.D.? 492 00:16:27,544 --> 00:16:29,712 Brian, I told you, that is a terrible nickname. 493 00:16:29,846 --> 00:16:31,113 Sorry, Voo-Voo. 494 00:16:31,247 --> 00:16:33,148 You do know that Voodoo is already a nickname, right? 495 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,616 I thought you'd be happier. 496 00:16:34,751 --> 00:16:36,785 Now that I've proven that I'm not sexual anymore, 497 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,620 we can officially be boyfriend-girlfriend. 498 00:16:38,722 --> 00:16:40,723 Brian, you didn't prove anything. 499 00:16:40,824 --> 00:16:42,324 I didn't get turned on at the strip club. 500 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,293 'Cause you're cheap, not 'cause you're asexual. 501 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:45,861 Transcendual. 502 00:16:45,995 --> 00:16:47,763 This sucks. 503 00:16:47,897 --> 00:16:49,698 I like you a lot. 504 00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,500 And you clearly like me enough to believe 505 00:16:51,601 --> 00:16:53,936 that you could actually change something very major 506 00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,070 about yourself for me. 507 00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:56,805 I know that you don't believe me, 508 00:16:56,906 --> 00:16:59,108 but I think I really did change. 509 00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:00,776 Okay, 510 00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:02,611 I didn't want to do this. 511 00:17:02,712 --> 00:17:04,947 And know that this means absolutely nothing for me, 512 00:17:05,115 --> 00:17:06,915 But... 513 00:17:10,053 --> 00:17:12,888 How you feeling over there? 514 00:17:13,022 --> 00:17:14,356 Feeling pretty transcendual. 515 00:17:17,961 --> 00:17:21,196 What's your phone number? 516 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:26,835 - Um, 312-4... - No. 517 00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,203 6... you know, 518 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:31,673 this really isn't fair because cellular technology 519 00:17:31,808 --> 00:17:33,208 has made remembering phone numbers 520 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,878 a skill of the past. 521 00:17:38,782 --> 00:17:39,948 This mean that we're breaking up? 522 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:41,417 It means we're not going down the road 523 00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:42,885 where we break up eventually. 524 00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:45,120 So we can't hang out and talk anymore? 525 00:17:45,221 --> 00:17:46,555 We can still hang out and talk. 526 00:17:46,689 --> 00:17:49,091 But we can't go to movies together anymore? 527 00:17:49,225 --> 00:17:50,759 I mean, I still like movies. 528 00:17:50,894 --> 00:17:53,862 But we can't not have sex after the movie anymore? 529 00:17:53,963 --> 00:17:55,697 We will still not be having sex. 530 00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:58,267 So what, I'm just supposed to be your friend 531 00:17:58,401 --> 00:18:01,170 and do all the things that we love to do together? 532 00:18:01,304 --> 00:18:03,338 Instead of being celibate with you, 533 00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,974 I'm just supposed to go off and have sex with other women? 534 00:18:06,075 --> 00:18:08,677 Yeah, that's the basic summary. 535 00:18:08,812 --> 00:18:11,113 - Oh. - Here's the check. 536 00:18:11,214 --> 00:18:14,016 And a two-for-one coupon for the coffees. 537 00:18:14,117 --> 00:18:15,551 I'm not supposed to give them out, 538 00:18:15,685 --> 00:18:18,187 but I just can't stand to see anybody miss out on a bargain. 539 00:18:18,321 --> 00:18:20,489 Thank you. I'm the same way. 540 00:18:20,590 --> 00:18:23,125 Just, um, don't tell my boss. 541 00:18:27,931 --> 00:18:30,966 - Sorry. - Don't be, she's cute. 542 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,167 You should go ask for her number. 543 00:18:32,302 --> 00:18:33,836 - Really? - Yeah. 544 00:18:33,937 --> 00:18:35,671 And she seems like a cheap date. 545 00:18:35,772 --> 00:18:39,441 I just feel really weird, Voo. 546 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:42,478 I'll just go pay. 547 00:18:42,612 --> 00:18:46,815 And maybe I will thank her for the coupon if that is okay. 548 00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:49,852 Yeah, of course. Go. 549 00:18:54,157 --> 00:18:55,791 Hey, thank you so much for this. 550 00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:58,227 [Indistinct chatter] 551 00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,451 20 should do it. Thank you so much. 552 00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:10,506 Oh, it is nice to be tens again. 553 00:19:10,641 --> 00:19:12,842 Maybe a ten out in the regular world. 554 00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:15,645 - Here we are solid 12s. - Mm. 555 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,846 Let's take a lap. 556 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,415 - Yeah. - [Sighs] 557 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:20,850 Johnny's missing out. 558 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,019 I can't believe he's still going to that superficial gym. 559 00:19:23,153 --> 00:19:24,253 [Laughs] I know. 560 00:19:24,388 --> 00:19:27,223 I'm so glad that we gave our passes away. 561 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:30,626 Should we get a funnel cake? 562 00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:32,762 I think we earned it. 563 00:19:34,898 --> 00:19:37,833 One. Two. 564 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,036 Well, I can definitely see hotness again. 565 00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:42,004 Welcome back, Brian. Sorry about Voodoo, though. 566 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,807 I think it'll be a while before I'm ready to love again, 567 00:19:44,942 --> 00:19:46,242 but I am ready to look again. 568 00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:48,444 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 569 00:19:48,545 --> 00:19:49,712 Lance, what are you doing here? 570 00:19:49,846 --> 00:19:51,247 You have a severe groin tear. 571 00:19:51,381 --> 00:19:52,515 You should not be working out. 572 00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:54,483 People have been telling me "no" my whole life. 573 00:19:54,618 --> 00:19:55,952 It fuels me. I thrive on it. 574 00:19:56,086 --> 00:19:57,386 And it shows, man. 575 00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:59,455 You swoll as shit. 576 00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:01,857 Dang. Your traps are crazy, bro. 577 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,527 They look like waterslides down to your shoulders. 578 00:20:04,628 --> 00:20:07,029 Yo, how you fit into your shirts, bro? 579 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,498 I've got a tailor, this old Hungarian dude. 580 00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:11,601 Used to fit Frank Thomas. 581 00:20:11,702 --> 00:20:12,835 The Big Hurt? 582 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:14,470 Yo, drop me his card, bro. 583 00:20:14,605 --> 00:20:15,571 You guys gonna be working out here? 584 00:20:15,706 --> 00:20:16,639 Lifetime passes. 585 00:20:16,773 --> 00:20:18,241 All right. 586 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,742 Let me know if you need a spot. 587 00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:22,011 [Grunting] Oh, ow, ah. Lance? 588 00:20:22,145 --> 00:20:23,813 No, Lance, be careful, please. 589 00:20:23,947 --> 00:20:26,182 Yo, check out that girl right there. 590 00:20:26,316 --> 00:20:27,216 Oh, the one in the sweatpants? 591 00:20:27,317 --> 00:20:28,217 Oh, yeah, man. 592 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:29,485 I just want to take that girl 593 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,420 to the farmers market and pick out produce. 594 00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,855 Yeah, I can see that. 595 00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:34,890 She has that look like she knows exactly what's in season. 596 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,459 Oh, man, I can totally see myself 597 00:20:36,593 --> 00:20:38,894 walking back from the market with that girl, 598 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,129 holding hands, 599 00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:42,632 bunches of kale sticking out of our reusable bags. 600 00:20:42,766 --> 00:20:45,201 Then you get home, and she makes you a little hot cocoa. 601 00:20:45,302 --> 00:20:46,902 Oh, she makes such good cocoa. 602 00:20:47,004 --> 00:20:48,604 Yeah, and then it's snowing outside. 603 00:20:48,739 --> 00:20:50,006 - It's a little chilly. - Yeah. Oh. Brr! 604 00:20:50,140 --> 00:20:51,374 You start snuggling on the couch, 605 00:20:51,508 --> 00:20:53,409 and then you just bang her brains out, bro. 606 00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:55,745 Marshmallows everywhere, dude. 607 00:20:55,846 --> 00:20:57,346 [Sighs] 608 00:20:57,481 --> 00:20:59,615 Are we gonna do anything besides the treadmill? 609 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,584 No, man. I tried the weight machines. 610 00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:02,852 That shit ain't calibrated right. 611 00:21:02,986 --> 00:21:03,853 Steam room? 612 00:21:03,987 --> 00:21:04,854 Steam room. 613 00:21:04,955 --> 00:21:08,724 [Machines beep] 614 00:21:08,859 --> 00:21:10,326 Nice, 2.4. 615 00:21:14,197 --> 00:21:17,066 Hey, girl. 616 00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:18,367 What's up, bro?