1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,353
We had a threesome.
2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,994
Henry called the police.
I got arrested, and now he's walked out.
3
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,554
Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
4
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,319
This face is mine. It's copyright to me.
5
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,477
It's not to be used for masturbation
without my express permission,
6
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,114
and that permission you do not have.
7
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,355
They're suspending you,
with immediate effect, without pay.
8
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,277
But she's lying.
9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,151
- Does this mean you're a virgin?
- I'm not talking about it.
10
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,316
I am not talking about this.
I'm really not talking about it, OK?
11
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,112
(WHISPERS) It's never gonna happen.
12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,435
Watch me try!
13
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:36,500
Ripped By mstoll
14
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,112
Oh...
15
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,320
Uh...
16
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:53,950
Ah...
17
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,115
Oh...
18
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,195
Oh...
19
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,559
- Ooh...
- Ah...
20
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,999
- Oh...
- Ah...
21
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,235
(SIGHS AND MOANS CONTINUE)
22
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,997
HENRY: When does it stop?
Is it ever going to stop?
23
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,749
- (BANG)
- (CLINKING)
24
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,034
- (BANG)
- (CLINKING)
25
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:21,720
(BANG)
26
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,955
Ah.
27
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,711
(BREATHING HARD)
28
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,158
(THREE BANGS)
29
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,316
(THREE BANGS)
30
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,157
(REPEATED BANGS)
31
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,151
(REPEATED BANGS)
32
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,392
I'm ready. Show me the shag palace.
33
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,715
Morning. Did you get everything?
34
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,797
There's more in the car,
but he kept the PC.
35
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,717
He said that's not yours,
that's the house computer.
36
00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,355
There's no such thing.
What's a house computer? I paid for it.
37
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,550
Tell him, not me.
Oh, and I brought all the DVDs.
38
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,555
I started dividing them up,
39
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,273
and Lance said just take them
so I packed the whole lot.
40
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,391
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God!
41
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,715
Oh, your rent's insane.
42
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,990
It must be some sort of scam. I could get
a thousand quid for this per week.
43
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,838
Oh, this is Dean,
and, um... that's Freddie.
44
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,678
Oh, hello, Freddie. Dean.
45
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,952
- Hiya.
- Cleo, my sister.
46
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,070
Not Chloe.
Everyone says Chloe, but it's Cleo.
47
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,271
This is Adam, my nephew. Hands off, ha-ha.
48
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,869
And, er... that's Molly. She's my niece,
and that's little baby Lou.
49
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,673
She's Cleo's, not Molly's.
Molly's only 12. Huh.
50
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,359
Although, you know, these days...
51
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,316
JACOB: Hey.
52
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,032
- Can I have a shower?
- Sure.
53
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,310
Use my towel. It's on the rail.
54
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,389
That's Jacob. Met him last night.
Fucked him stupid.
55
00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:00,752
Well, three years ago, they built me a new
vagina, so nothing's gonna shock me.
56
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,473
Now put the kettle on, Freddie.
Er... I'll have a coffee, black.
57
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,513
Adam's a Coke, full fat,
and Molly drinks water, no ice. Chop chop!
58
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,230
CLEO: She's got a brother called Sonny.
59
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,032
I'm trying to adopt him as well,
but he still lives with the mother.
60
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,278
It's all a bit complicated.
But we'll see. We'll get there.
61
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,756
Cos Cleo's adopted.
She's the eldest. She came first.
62
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,791
It's funny, cos our parents couldn't
conceive so they adopted Cleo.
63
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,673
Then, as soon as she arrived,
Mum got pregnant with me.
64
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,039
It's weird. Happens a lot, apparently.
65
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,232
What Henry means is, I was special
but he was just an accident.
66
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,477
What Cleo means is, I was natural
but she was bought in a shop.
67
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,751
You're lucky. You should see my family.
They're a nightmare.
68
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,918
- They chucked me out in the street.
- Fair do's. I'd chuck you out.
69
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,514
(HE CHUCKLES)
70
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,630
Cleo was the first person I told.
71
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,194
Oh, I knew before he did.
72
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,391
When he was about 12 or 13, if there was
a man on telly who took his shirt off,
73
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,558
and believe me, men didn't
take their shirts off back then,
74
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,194
Henry would go so quiet.
75
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,073
And I mean, silent. Like he was terrified.
76
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,716
Who was that man? Kevin Banks?
77
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,271
- Kevin Banks on Crossroads.
- CLEO: I wonder what happened to him.
78
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,878
Did I look scared?
79
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,360
Yeah.
80
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,709
- (DOOR CLICKS)
- (BABY BURBLES)
81
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,955
Sorry. Excuse me,
but... are you Adam Whitaker?
82
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,753
Ah! You got me.
83
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,351
Here you go.
84
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,279
Sorry. I made a pledge. Everyone
who recognises me gets a badge.
85
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,719
"I've Met Adam Whitaker."
86
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,355
I've gotta be honest. It's for the girls,
really, but rules are rules.
87
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,231
I'll give it to my mate Griff.
88
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,838
He has a regular thing with you,
every Sunday morning.
89
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,269
What do you mean? What sort of thing?
90
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,719
He wanks over him.
91
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,275
Not me personally. My vlog. I'm a vlogger.
92
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:56,155
Big shout out to Danielle. She said, what
if you cover Beanie in goose grease?
93
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,509
We get money from ads,
and then we've got merchandise.
94
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,312
We've got wristbands, T-shirts,
95
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:05,559
and we're getting mugs next week,
mugs with my face on, mugs of my mug.
96
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,434
- So, we make about 500 quid a month.
- No way. 500 quid?
97
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,835
ADAM: Well, we've got
over 100,000 subscribers,
98
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,154
two thirds of them in Germany.
99
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,952
- Why Germany?
- It's a real thing out there
100
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,150
with middle-aged men.
Eine kleine Britische boy.
101
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,919
That's why we take our shirts off.
It monetises.
102
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,839
So, there's like 60,000 Germans
tossing off over you?
103
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,953
Ich bin ein wankfest. I get naked
and they send me money.
104
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,470
- Isn't that a bit like prostitution?
- Yeah. How much do you earn?
105
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,673
So, there we go.
106
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,917
That's them. The kids.
107
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,269
Great flat, though.
It gets freezing at night.
108
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,834
Oh. OK.
109
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,314
Are we done?
110
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,877
- For Christ's sake, go home.
- Oh, don't you start.
111
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,310
Go home, go home, go home,
you stupid little man.
112
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,555
Molly fancies him, for God's sake! Molly.
113
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,239
Oh, I need that thousand quid
for the underpinning. Can I have it?
114
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,633
Sure, yeah.
115
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,240
- I mean, can I have it now?
- OK, I'll transfer it.
116
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,874
Well, can you do it now, though? I mean,
really now. I... I've just got some bills.
117
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:08,920
(HE SNORTS)
118
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,397
If you'd brought my PC,
I'd be twice as fast.
119
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,556
House computer!
I'm having that back. The liar.
120
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,956
Does he know? Freddie.
Does he know you're still a virgin?
121
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,152
No, because I'm not.
I've had stacks of sex, stacks of it.
122
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,952
I was shagging all the way through
the '90s, thank you very much.
123
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,312
Just because I don't do... penetration,
that doesn't mean it's not sex.
124
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,157
Oh, I've had plenty of nights like that.
125
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,033
No penetration, just a quick little fiddle
when he's fast asleep,
126
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,913
and let me tell you, on nights like that,
I'm very clear about one thing.
127
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,598
I have not had sex.
128
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,836
Where's my money gone?
129
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,075
Why did you ask
for that thousand quid right now?
130
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,394
It's mine.
131
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,271
You knew.
132
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,108
He told you. He's emptied the joint
accounts, and you bloody knew!
133
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,754
That bastard. That cheeky bastard!
134
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,109
- (PHONE RINGS)
- TV: ... observatory in Greenwich.
135
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,833
TV: What star sign are you?
136
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,549
LANCE: Sorry, I'm busy.
Leave a message. Thanks.
137
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:10,435
Yeah, well, I'm pissing myself
with laughter, you little fucking bastard!
138
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,674
Now put that money back!
139
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,792
HENRY: Hi. I'm not available.
Leave a message.
140
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,876
You might have noticed,
141
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,717
all our savings have been transferred
to a brand-new account
142
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,113
under the name Lance E Sullivan,
143
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,994
and, yes, that's 100% legal,
whether you like it or not.
144
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,598
Can I remind you, when your father died,
145
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,029
leaving all those stupid debts,
who helped you?
146
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,197
But since you're newly unemployed,
147
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:36,030
I will transfer the sum of £100,
once a week, into your account,
148
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,832
out of the goodness of my heart.
149
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,711
Yeah, your sister couldn't
get away quick enough!
150
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,591
I gave you £8,000, remember?!
151
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,030
And I can do this on the house computer,
152
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,231
even though I had to take the hard drive
and get it disinfected.
153
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,158
I'll get your father declared insane,
posthumously,
154
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,919
so I can claim every penny
back from you!
155
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,598
Come on, we're going! Hup!
156
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,269
HENRY: Who paid for the fucking phone?
I did!
157
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,436
CLEO: Freddie.
158
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,278
- (HENRY SHOUTING)
- Do me a favour.
159
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,151
Send him home.
160
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,759
I don't give a fuck.
161
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,109
(HENRY SHOUTING)
162
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,109
(MUSIC PLAYS)
163
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,991
(SIGHS)
164
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,639
See ya, then.
165
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,671
Yeah, give us a call.
166
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,876
Bye.
167
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,950
(WOMAN TALKING)
168
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,198
Freddie? It's Freddie, isn't it?
169
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,198
Do you remember me? Lynne, Lynne Pascoe.
We met at that Sport Relief day.
170
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,789
- I'm with Gregory, look!
- Oh, my God! Well, well, well!
171
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,671
And my sister,
she's on that committee with your mum.
172
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,553
You know, the save-the-library thing.
173
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,511
- Good to see you!
- Sir.
174
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,074
Oh, bollocks to that. It's Gregory.
175
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,120
Yeah.
176
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,071
GREGORY: It's weird, meeting teachers
out of school, isn't it?
177
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,793
But these are ours, look.
That's Nell. This is Ruby.
178
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,840
Hello!
179
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,394
They weren't even born
when I was teaching you.
180
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,273
Like, that was what? Five years ago? Six?
181
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,639
It's been ages.
182
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,911
So, you, er... you dropped out of college,
didn't you? Where was it, London?
183
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,315
Er... South Bank.
184
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,113
Yeah, we heard you were back.
Er... Lynne's sister knows your mum.
185
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,275
They're on that library thing.
186
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,073
So, what was it? Didn't like it?
187
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,270
Too much theory?
188
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,151
Yeah.
189
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,873
Look, I tell you what,
Ruby's going to need something to eat.
190
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,480
Do you want to come for a coffee in town,
on us? What do you think?
191
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,193
Just ten minutes.
Quick little coffee in town.
192
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,434
Yeah.
193
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,876
So, what sort of thing are you doing
these days? Are you working?
194
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,957
Er... yeah, I'm training. I'm a chef.
195
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,232
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, that's a great job. Hard work.
196
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,716
I'd love it, though,
working in a kitchen all day, eh?
197
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,637
- So, where's that? In Manchester?
- Yeah.
198
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:13,071
- But you're not living at home?
- Er... no. I've got a flat.
199
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,473
How's your brother these days?
200
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,909
These two have their moments, eh?
Don't you? Don't you, sweetheart?
201
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,758
Whoops! Sorry, sorry. I'm an idiot.
202
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,552
Sorry, sorry. Daddy's fault.
203
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,477
Silly old Daddy. Look at you, you monkey!
204
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,034
Pass me the blue bag. OK.
205
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,435
- Hold on, Rube. Just wait a minute.
- My fault. Sorry.
206
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,040
- No worries. I'll change her in the loo.
- Yeah.
207
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,991
Off we go. Come on, sweetheart.
208
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,635
- Yeah, that's it, and pass me the bag.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
209
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,716
Great. I won't be long. Sorry.
210
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,115
Come on, you. Are you all right?
211
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,957
Hey?
212
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,355
Say bye-bye. Say bye-bye.
213
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,840
It's like I can smell that space
between your legs.
214
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,395
That stink.
215
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,711
Why did you drop out, then? College?
216
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,716
Dunno.
217
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,273
Gonna try again?
218
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,550
- Dunno.
- You should, you really should.
219
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,149
I have got such a massive hard-on
right now.
220
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,997
What about you?
221
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,508
- No.
- Liar.
222
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,316
She could have changed
that T-shirt on the spot.
223
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,509
She's only left us alone so I can
try and talk you back into college.
224
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:32,309
My wife is the nicest woman in the world,
and I just want to split you in half.
225
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,436
Remember that room?
226
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,800
- Yeah.
- I loved that room.
227
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:42,840
Yeah.
228
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,229
Can I fuck you?
229
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,835
- We ended it.
- Oh, for God's sake, Freddie.
230
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,189
I don't want to go out with you.
I just want to fuck you one last time.
231
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,071
Can I do that? Can I?
232
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,554
- When?
- Now. I mean now.
233
00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,828
- What?
- Right now.
234
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,711
- How?
- I don't know.
235
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,318
- You're with her.
- I'll get away.
236
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,510
There's gotta be somewhere.
Where do you live? Where's your flat?
237
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,472
No. No, no, it's too far.
238
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,748
We're in the middle of town.
239
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,110
There's got to be, um... a toilet
or some sort of corner.
240
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,832
I don't know. You live here. Think.
241
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,592
We're getting stuff for her mum.
It takes ages with the kids.
242
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,676
I'll get away.
I'll think of something. Follow me.
243
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,869
What? What do you mean?
244
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,751
I don't know. Just follow me. There.
245
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,040
You said no numbers.
246
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,389
I know. Just this once.
247
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,074
But I'm never gonna see you again,
Freddie.
248
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,430
This is it.
249
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,631
So, I just want to come inside you.
250
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,234
OK?
251
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,678
Follow me.
252
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,360
(LYNNE AND GREGORY CHAT)
253
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,276
Oh, sorry, it's, er... Helen Carter.
254
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,754
She's doing that audio-visual thing,
but she's lost the playlist.
255
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,236
- LYNNE: Well, can't she do it online?
- GREGORY: You try telling her.
256
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,236
Right.
257
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,270
(TEXT ALERT)
258
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,956
Fancy some more pasta tonight?
259
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,588
(TEXT ALERT)
260
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,154
(TEXT ALERT)
261
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,509
OK. Um... in fairness,
it's not Helen's fault.
262
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:16,120
But the playlist isn't even online.
Can you believe?
263
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,037
Look, I'll have to go back to the car.
264
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,593
Can't you do it later?
265
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,234
Any more texts and I'm gonna start
swearing in front of the kids.
266
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,192
Seriously. I've got all that stuff
in the boot. Give me 20 minutes.
267
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,754
OK, well, look,
we'll go to Henrik's, OK?
268
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,712
You keep your phone on you
and I'll tell you where we are.
269
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,479
- Go on, then. Hurry up.
- Sorry.
270
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,555
They're not paying you enough!
271
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,112
(MESSAGE SENDS)
272
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,599
(TRAM TOOTS)
273
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,556
(TEXT ALERT)
274
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,751
(GASPS)
275
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,393
- Is Freddie in?
- No, sorry, he's, er... gone out.
276
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,273
He told me to wait, OK?
277
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,677
You're not part of this, are you?
278
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,039
Part of what?
279
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,718
- (FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
- That'll be him.
280
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,637
(PANTING)
281
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,353
- You must be Roy. You got any stuff?
- Not really. Just this.
282
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,039
- That'll do. You got balloons?
- Yup!
283
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,753
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Get that.
284
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:42,994
Freddie in?
285
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,630
- That's an old photo.
- I'll fuck off, then.
286
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,671
- Balloons!
- Hey, what about him?
287
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,039
- Wanna join in?
- Oh, yeah!
288
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,348
(LOCKS BEEP)
289
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,599
You bastard.
It's a long time since I saw 6am.
290
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,473
We don't start work
for another three hours.
291
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,035
OK, we'll come in the afternoon,
with kids pissing in the water.
292
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,031
Cos we're reaching peak times now
293
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,150
and, I'm telling you,
that place is understaffed.
294
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,431
I mean, in Plymouth, they've got a team
of 17 working on recuperation.
295
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,038
17. We've got five.
296
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,469
And that's going down to four
by next year.
297
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,476
It'll be four by... April.
298
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,512
Yeah, I've gotta be honest, I thought
I was moving to a bigger operation.
299
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,232
I mean, you've got the university,
300
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,511
yeah, but you could double
the money from corporate.
301
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,313
Like in Plymouth,
it's all dinners and conventions.
302
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,237
That stuff's a gold mine.
303
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,316
Just push yourself towards me.
304
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,157
Nice and gentle.
305
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,470
Just go with it.
306
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,079
- No. Sorry, nope. Shit!
- It's OK.
307
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,350
Just try again.
308
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,028
(GASPS AND SPLUTTERS)
309
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,079
(COUGHS)
310
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,918
- (GASPS AND LAUGHS)
- That's it, you did it. You did it, yeah?
311
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,838
Oh, man. I just feel so stupid.
312
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,950
Now go back and do it again.
313
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,309
And again, and again, and again.
314
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,238
That's it, that's it.
315
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,477
- (GASPS)
- Come on, keep going.
316
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,555
That's good.
317
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,159
Ronnie said that Peter Phillipson
was asking about you.
318
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,071
You know, the one from Motorfield.
He was sniffing round.
319
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,348
Seriously?
320
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,551
He said, '"I've heard Lance is single.'"
Ronnie said, '"Yes.'"
321
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,114
He said, ' "Good.'" His
actual words, good.
322
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:55,312
Well, it was more like, ' "Oh, good! '"
323
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,193
Nah. He's a bit insipid.
324
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,913
- What are you looking for, then?
- Oh, I dunno.
325
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,873
I'm out of practice.
I suppose someone who's sort of...
326
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,797
Well, OK.
327
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,149
Someone like you.
328
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,316
- He scores(!)
- Well, it's true.
329
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,831
I mean, you're fit, you're not too ugly,
and you're in the same job. That helps.
330
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,314
Man, I wish. It would make
my life so much easier.
331
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,510
Listen, I had nine long years with Henry.
332
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,189
That's nine years without... whatever.
333
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,676
I had to invent all sorts of tricks.
334
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,153
- Like what?
- You'll never know.
335
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,794
Well, go on. Like what?
336
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,796
Tell me!
337
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,435
- I give a great blow job.
- OK.
338
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,993
In my opinion.
339
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,073
So, what do you do?
340
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,638
Jesus.
341
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,628
OK. You know most blow jobs
end with a bit of a wank?
342
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,513
Oh, my God, I'm too old for this.
343
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:59,999
Right. So, most times,
you finish by jerking off.
344
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,952
Well, 90% of the time. 99%.
345
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,430
Well, I can bring you off with just
my mouth. I really can. That's a fact.
346
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,948
I know exactly where to go,
right at the end.
347
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,231
Just before you reach
that final surge, you know?
348
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,919
I can find exactly the right spot.
349
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,788
Where's that?
350
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,592
(DOOR OPENS)
351
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,912
Anyway.
352
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,190
There we go, then.
353
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,280
Still.
354
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,870
If ever you're desperate.
355
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,070
OK, we're done here.
356
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,759
The world awaits.
357
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,870
Er... just give me a minute.
358
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,593
- What for?
- I'm only wearing Speedos.
359
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,358
Gotta wait for this to go down.
360
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,231
(LANCE CHUCKLES)
361
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,113
Right, I'll go and see
how supper's coming along.
362
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,755
Oh, Kevin, will you be seeing Carole?
363
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,758
- How do you mean?
- Well, popping into the Coach House.
364
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,712
Or seeing her in the garage.
365
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,909
I shouldn't think so. Why?
366
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520
Well, I was thinking
of inviting her for dinner...
367
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,597
Hello? It's me.
Now listen. It's important.
368
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:19,316
I need to make some money fast. And
whatever you do, don't tell your mother.
369
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,352
- (PEOPLE CHATTER)
- (MUSIC PLAYS)
370
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:39,759
(TEXT ALERT)
371
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:43,835
(CAMERA CLICKS)
372
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,388
Oh, my God! This is weird.
373
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,513
Yeah. Nice, though, isn't it, hm?
We did the whole place up. Floorboards.
374
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,757
- I thought it would be cobwebs.
- It is a bit.
375
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,597
The last tenants left
about four months ago.
376
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,950
Your mother's not had time, what with
baby Lou, so she put me in charge,
377
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,798
but... I think we'll have to sell it,
cos I need the money.
378
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,637
- She's not gonna like that.
- HENRY: Tough.
379
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,389
It's weird, though. I keep expecting
to see Gran, coming through there.
380
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,839
She was always in the kitchen, wasn't she?
381
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,155
Every day of her life.
382
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,112
She'd kill you, using her old house
to pimp out her grandson.
383
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,116
I'm not pimping.
384
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,549
I'm...
385
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,352
directing.
386
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,356
I'm directing you.
387
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,470
(SINGING IN FRENCH)
388
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,472
This stuff was everywhere, back in 2006.
389
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,238
There were hundreds
of straight boys lip-synching,
390
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,633
and then they all disappeared.
391
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,113
That's cos of copyright.
392
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,912
The songs are copyright
so you can't make money off them.
393
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,394
I know, but all your middle-aged men,
they loved this stuff,
394
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,158
and they're still out there,
still waiting.
395
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,192
That's why you need me, cos
nobody knows this stuff better than I do.
396
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,037
And we did this at work
with those promo videos.
397
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,719
We put them on Tumblr
so the copyright doesn't matter.
398
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,799
You circumvent that and use the songs
to drive the audience to the YouTube site,
399
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,673
and that's how you make money.
400
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,039
How much of it would be yours?
401
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,080
If I can double your earnings, I get 35%
and then we can review every month.
402
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,873
Yeah, and you get this place
free of charge, cos, look.
403
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,478
Instant upgrade. It looks fantastic.
404
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,592
Thousand times better
than your scuzzy old bedroom.
405
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,916
I liked the bedroom.
Thought it was homoerotic.
406
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:48,949
I'll be the judge of that.
407
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,434
Well, Penny Wicks gave me a hand job
cos she thought it was homoerotic.
408
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,040
So, she can be the judge, thanks.
409
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,753
- Do you really need the money?
- He's taken everything, even the PC.
410
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,677
You came with me to buy that, remember?
I'm left with sod all.
411
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,597
We don't make a fortune, though.
412
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,631
I just need a little bit of cash.
413
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,592
Maybe for a month or so,
just until Lance gives in. That's all.
414
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,359
Cos I know him.
He's expecting me to beg, and I will not.
415
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,789
Thing is, all these straight boys,
pretending to be gay.
416
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,149
- Does it not piss you off?
- Oh, completely.
417
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,395
- But you're doing the exact same with us.
- Yep.
418
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,954
Cos do you know what happens to you in
life, Adam? You become the thing you hate.
419
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,230
Now shut up,
take your shirt off and sing.
420
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:24,637
♪ This was never the way I planned
421
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,877
♪ Not my intention
422
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,354
♪I got so brave
423
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,072
♪ Drink in hand
424
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:35,271
♪ Lost my discretion
425
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,915
♪It's not what I'm used to
426
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,757
♪Just wanna try you on... ♪
427
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,917
No way, man! That's hilarious!
428
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,279
Oh, come on, Beanie.
429
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,630
I'm bored now. We're never gonna finish.
430
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,398
- It's not like I mean it.
- You'd better fucking not.
431
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,908
Boys, pick it up from the first chorus
and concentrate, OK?
432
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,315
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (MUSIC PLAYS)
433
00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,113
(LAUGHS) Hold on.
434
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,152
Look, I've got it, I got it.
Just give me a minute.
435
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,475
Look, this is too funny!
436
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,680
(LOCKS BEEP)
437
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,359
- Hi there, Henry. You OK?
- Yeah, not bad, thanks.
438
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,436
(PHONE RINGS)
439
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,997
Oh, don't tell me. You've put it online
and made 2,000 quid already?
440
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,157
No, thing is, there's this boy
in my year, Tomasz.
441
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,760
ADAM: He's Polish and he's straight,
and he vlogs too.
442
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,916
I told him about the songs
and he thought it was brilliant.
443
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,359
So, he said he'd do it with me.
444
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,153
- OK. What about Beanie?
- Beanie's sacked.
445
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,315
He's your best friend.
446
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:50,591
Yeah, but he was rubbish.
Let's face it, he failed to invest.
447
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,438
Well, yeah. Poor old Beanie.
448
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,118
ADAM: Oh, never mind him.
What do you think?
449
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,039
Tomasz only lives on Burnley Road.
Can we try again? Take two!
450
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,709
♪ Us girls, we are so magical
451
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,116
♪ Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
452
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,709
♪ Hard to resist, so touchable
453
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:14,709
♪ Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal... ♪
454
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,751
Oh, round about that bit, we should keep
looking at each other and not look away.
455
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,997
Yeah, that works. Get even closer,
cos that's... that's really kinda hot.
456
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,032
- So, what else? What do you think?
- Good, it's excellent.
457
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,593
But what else can we do?
458
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,040
They were doing all this back in 2006.
We need to move it on.
459
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,516
You're the director. You tell us.
What do you want to see?
460
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,791
Well, er... I suppose
the thing that's missing...
461
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,389
Er... no, it's fine, honestly,
but to be honest,
462
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,830
if you really want to know,
when I'm watching this kind of thing,
463
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,996
I want them to kiss.
464
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,634
We can do that. Happy?
465
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,114
- No problem.
- Great. Let's go.
466
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,151
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (MUSIC PLAYS)
467
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:54,318
♪ Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
468
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:57,909
♪ Hard to resist, so touchable
469
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,112
♪ Too good to deny it
470
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,957
♪Ain't no big deal
471
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,471
♪It's innocent
472
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,797
♪I kissed a girl and I liked it
473
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,913
♪ The taste of her cherry ChapStick
474
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,191
♪I kissed a girl just to try it
475
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,357
♪I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
476
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,868
♪It felt so wrong
477
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,956
♪It felt so right
478
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,549
♪ Don't mean I'm in love tonight
479
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,195
♪I kissed a girl and I liked it
480
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,348
♪I liked it. ♪
481
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,916
ADAM: How was that?
482
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,948
But was it OK? Did it look good?
Was it convincing?
483
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,036
- Felt good to me.
- Felt great.
484
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,718
- TOMASZ: We can do it again.
- ADAM: We can give it a bit more.
485
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,034
TOMASZ: We can give it a lot more.
486
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,229
Do you want us to go for it, yeah?
487
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,157
- Like I'm really gonna do him?
- That's enough for today.
488
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,430
Let's go home.
489
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,550
Oh, come on!
490
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,114
And the latest attraction
is the giant ocean sunfish.
491
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,357
Now, these fellas,
they're bigger than the sharks.
492
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,960
They're the biggest bony fish
in the world.
493
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,878
We've got specimens
weighing more than 350 pounds.
494
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,231
(DIALLING TONE)
495
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,677
- DANIEL: Yeah?
- Hi there. It's me.
496
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,312
- (LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
- It's Lance.
497
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,430
- Yeah, what do you want?
- I was just thinking.
498
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,153
That curry house that you were
talking about, The Red Fort, yeah?
499
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,952
LANCE: You said Ronnie liked it.
500
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,479
- Can you hear me?
- What about it?
501
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:35,878
I'm starving. I haven't eaten yet.
I thought... Do you want to go?
502
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,148
- Fucking hell.
- Sorry?
503
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,033
Not surprised you want curry.
You want that sting in your ring.
504
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,435
Yeah. So...
505
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,277
- (MUSIC BLASTING)
- ... what do you think?
506
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,753
You OK?
507
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,360
Or... we could just go for a drink?
508
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,436
- I'm busy.
- Yeah.
509
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,597
LANCE: OK, all right.
I'll see you at work, then.
510
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,198
- I'm in late tomorrow...
- Bye, then.
511
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,196
(LINE GOES DEAD)
512
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,431
(SOUND ON MUTE)
513
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,153
Hello, sir.
514
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,795
Nice.
515
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,991
- Are you squatting?
- This is my room.
516
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,875
So, how many of you are there?
517
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,356
It's just us. There's no-one in.
You don't need to worry.
518
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,198
(DISTANT SIREN BLARES)
519
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,272
What do you think?
520
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,193
Good.
521
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,959
- Who's seen them?
- No-one.
522
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,035
They're kind of visible.
523
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,594
Yeah, I put them on display.
524
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,631
Just for you.
525
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,955
I can take them down again.
526
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,911
You shouldn't use my name.
527
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,679
- No-one's seen them.
- All the same.
528
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,757
Really, though.
You shouldn't. Be fair.
529
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,240
Do they turn you on?
530
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,639
Yeah.
531
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,956
I'll take that as a compliment.
532
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,552
They're good. They're strong.
533
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:25,789
They're very you.
534
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,919
- You should get rid of them.
- Stop worrying.
535
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,632
Yeah, but...
536
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,352
...we did it perfectly.
537
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,473
All those years with no numbers,
no photos, no e-mails.
538
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,228
No great big flying cum shots
with my name written all over them.
539
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:56,911
You can have 'em.
540
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,276
- Yeah?
- Mm-hm.
541
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,673
They're yours.
542
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,831
Can't really take them home.
543
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,039
Oh, burn them.
544
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,195
I don't care.
545
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,193
That'd be a shame.
546
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,991
It's up to you.
547
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,153
GREGORY: Have you got copies?
548
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,156
Nope.
549
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,114
How many times
have you jerked off over them?
550
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,036
- A million.
- I bet.
551
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:43,433
(GASPING)
552
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,313
(GASPS)
553
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,590
I should go home.
554
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,590
(DOOR CLANGS)
555
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,598
- It's all right.
- Who is it?
556
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,000
Doesn't matter, does it?
They're not gonna know who you are.
557
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,709
- It's Dean.
- Who's Dean?
558
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,637
He's an idiot.
559
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,398
Come on!
560
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,750
(LAUGHS)
561
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,235
(LAUGHS)
562
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,113
Just get it off. Pull it.
Do the other one.
563
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,878
Pull it. Pull it.
564
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:36,880
Get up.
565
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,070
(THEY LAUGH)
566
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,111
(PANTING)
567
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,710
(GRUNTS)
568
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,079
(DOOR CLANGS)
569
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,554
- (FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
- (WHISPERS) Who's that?
570
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,280
Anyone in?
571
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,117
- (MOUTHS)
- (MOUTHS)
572
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,151
- Can you still pay my rent?
- Oh, be fair. That was once.
573
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,350
- Was it? Who said so?
- God's sake.
574
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,799
Oh.
575
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,353
(GASPS)
576
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,914
(GRUNTS)
577
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,428
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
578
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,434
- (MUSIC ON HEADPHONES)
- Look.
579
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,517
You know what happened at work.
580
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:38,913
I would if I could.
581
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,753
(GRUNTS)
582
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,031
Oh. Ah.
583
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,239
- (GROANS)
- (BED BANGS)
584
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,031
(BED BANGS)
585
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,798
(GASPING)
586
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,475
You OK?
587
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,112
Yeah.
588
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,677
- No, no.
- OK. OK.
589
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,474
What do you want to do?
590
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,348
I want to fuck you.
591
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,799
Well, I'm fucking you.
592
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:30,879
Let me fuck you this time, Gregory.
I want to fuck you now.
593
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:33,799
OK.
594
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,509
We don't do that.
595
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,791
I want to fuck your arse so hard.
596
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,671
(PANTING)
597
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,278
Well, sorry.
598
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,869
It's all right, being fucked.
It's not weak.
599
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000
I never said it was.
600
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,359
Then let me fuck you.
601
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:02,954
Maybe...
602
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,276
...this was all a long time ago.
What do you think?
603
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,829
(SIGHS)
604
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:17,400
Am I too old for you now?
605
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,390
That's not what I said.
606
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,476
OK. Sorry. We tried.
607
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:39,636
(CAMERA CLICKS)
608
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,756
- Was that of me?
- Souvenir.
609
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,319
We said no photos. That's the rule.
610
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,476
I think you'd better delete it.
611
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,919
Is that OK?
612
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,871
Who've you got now?
613
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,673
In school. Who's the new boy?
614
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:01,908
No-one.
615
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,679
There isn't. I'm married. I... I'm happy.
616
00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:06,358
- (SNIGGERS)
- I am.
617
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,595
I've got Lynne and the kids.
618
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:11,800
There was only you.
619
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:13,880
Yeah?
620
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,834
I think you should delete it.
621
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,235
I've got her number.
622
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,710
- Who?
- (FOOTSTEPS NEARBY)
623
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:32,235
07700900576.
624
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,474
What's that?
625
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,435
Your wife's sister.
626
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,755
On that committee with my mother.
627
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,030
I phoned home.
628
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,230
And got... Sally's number.
629
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,114
- Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
- OK, OK. Sorry. Sorry, Freddie.
630
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:54,154
I'm... I'm sorry if I ever pissed you off
but I... I'd really appreciate...
631
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,913
Don't send it.
632
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:03,749
Please.
633
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,235
That boy Adnan. Do you remember him?
634
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,077
He came out in Year 11.
635
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,190
Judy Jones, Year 10.
636
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,596
That little Steve Bowden was out from
the age of 13. That should've been me.
637
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,993
He was just a camp little kid.
638
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,112
But he was out. They were all out.
639
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,912
And I was getting ten times
the sex that they ever did,
640
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,474
but I had to keep it a secret
because of you.
641
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,112
You loved every second of it.
642
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,913
Oh, you were the fuck of my life.
643
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,718
But do you know what's even better?
Fucking with you now.
644
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,228
- Fuck off! Fuck off!
- Give it to me!
645
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,431
- Get off me!
- OK. Let's stop.
646
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,199
- Just give it! Give it!
- I said no! Let go of me! Let go!
647
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:47,233
Give me that phone and I'll walk out
of here and you'll never see me again!
648
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,953
Now delete that fucking photo, OK?!
649
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,038
Aaah!
650
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,679
- (GROANS)
- (LOUD BANG)
651
00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:57,153
(GRUNTS)
652
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,077
(LOUD GROANS)
653
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,191
Fucking kill him, Henry!
654
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:04,840
Just leave us! This is a private matter!
655
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,074
- He's a thief!
- You fucking twat!
656
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,519
- He stole something of mine!
- Just get him! Take the phone!
657
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,028
Christ! He's hurting you!
658
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,718
- Oh, Jesus!
- Fuck off!
659
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,432
Jesus Christ, you bastard!
660
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,755
He's obsessed with me!
He came here to hurt me!
661
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,313
You liar! You did it! You brought me here!
662
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,080
The wall! The wall, Henry!
Look at the wall!
663
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,951
(THEY GROAN)
664
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,672
- FREDDIE: Fuck you! Fuck off!
- GREGORY: Just give it to me!
665
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:24,438
- FREDDIE: Just fuck off, you fucking...
- GREGORY: Let go! Give it to me!
666
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,994
- (THEY GROAN)
- Oh, my God.
667
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,760
How old was he?
668
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:30,710
- 18!
- 15!
669
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,354
My nephew's 15, you cunt!
670
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,550
Stop it! Stop it! Jesus!
671
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:36,600
Stop!
672
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,438
- You little fucks!
- Henry? You're fucking useless.
673
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,876
Look.
674
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:45,955
OK.
675
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,752
We can sort this out.
676
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,679
If you just give me the fucking phone.
677
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:53,676
(THEY GROAN)
678
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:57,110
- Let go of me! I'm serious!
- I'm gonna fucking kill you, sir!
679
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,469
DEAN: I'm not joining in with this.
680
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,715
- It's too weird.
- Dean.
681
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:02,749
- Kill him.
- Just leave us alone.
682
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,597
- Get him off me, Dean! Listen to me!
- Go back to your room!
683
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,198
- Get him off me!
- I mean, that was a good laugh yesterday,
684
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:08,196
but, I'm sorry, Mr Best,
you're way too old.
685
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:10,874
I think you'd better use your safe word.
686
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,592
Dean, this is serious! Dean!
687
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,279
Dean, you motherfucking dunce!
He's attacking me!
688
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,834
This is assault!
689
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,313
So, that's Dean?
690
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,194
- Fucking idiot.
- I can see that.
691
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,276
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
692
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,038
Well, I don't suppose
you're going to get it, are you?
693
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,274
- Look, Dean, seriously!
- Dean!
694
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,756
- Listen to me! For fuck's sake!
- Dean!
695
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,473
Listen. Whoever that is,
they're gonna get you, OK?
696
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,798
Well, whoever that is,
I will break their fucking necks.
697
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:42,516
And then I'll stamp you two into
the ground until I get that fucking phone!
698
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,676
(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
699
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,473
It's for you.
700
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,989
(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
701
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,271
- Fuck!
- (GASPING)
702
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,078
OK.
703
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,759
- Get him off me.
- Who's he? The man from IT?
704
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,280
This man attacked the two of us!
Please, Lance! Get him off me!
705
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,029
- That's Lance?
- Freddie, nice to meet you at last.
706
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,640
What have I interrupted, then?
Some sort of little game, is it?
707
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:26,720
Is this what goes on here?
708
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,069
- HENRY: This man is a rapist!
- FREDDIE: No, he's not.
709
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,031
- I am not!
- Well, I don't know what he is!
710
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,197
- But he's killing me!
- Lance! Help me. Please.
711
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,073
No! No, no, no, no. Thank you, mate.
712
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,429
Just leave us alone. Thank you very much.
You can go. Thank you.
713
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:40,833
Kick him!
714
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,949
- LANCE: What?
- Just kick him!
715
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,281
Yeah, yeah, just fucking kick him!
Go on! Kick the fucker!
716
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,392
- Don't tell me what to do, Freddie.
- Please, Lance! Just kick him!
717
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,634
You fucking dare!
718
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,992
Do you know, I've had one fuck of a day?
719
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,429
To be honest, just lately,
it's been one fuck of a life.
720
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:59,109
And, yes, if you were to ask me
what I would love to do right now,
721
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,912
I would love... I would absolutely love...
722
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,350
Oh, my God, I would love to
kick the shit out of someone.
723
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:05,389
- Kick him! Kick him!
- I'll break his neck!
724
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,192
- Just do it! Kick him!
- Both of them!
725
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,360
Frankly, there is no-one on this earth
726
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,119
more deserving of a good kicking
than you, Henry.
727
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,673
Not me! Don't kick me!
728
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:19,599
And then there's Freddie,
date of birth 1990.
729
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,200
God, I'd love to kick your arse,
Freddie Baxter.
730
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,879
- What the fuck have I done?
- And that's my problem.
731
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,436
If I'm to play this little game of yours,
who do I kick?
732
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,040
- Not me! Not me!
- Kick him! Kick him!
733
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:33,991
ALL: No!
734
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:35,996
(DISTANT SIREN BLARES)
735
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,028
(GRUNTS)
736
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,911
(SHOUTS OUTSIDE)
737
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:01,479
I saw these boys today.
They were so fearless.
738
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,715
I was scared, when I was a kid.
739
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,390
If a man appeared on the TV,
I was so scared of anyone knowing.
740
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:16,350
But the result of that was...
I was scared of the man.
741
00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:19,878
All my life...
742
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,668
...I've been scared of the man.
743
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,199
Send it.
744
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:37,751
(MESSAGE SENDS)
745
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,997
Oh, you little fucking...
746
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:43,837
(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
747
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,513
(DOOR CLANGS)
748
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,314
(DISTANT SIREN BLARES)
749
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,838
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- What's that for?
750
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,949
(DOOR SHUTS)
751
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:22,512
I'd better head off.
752
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,036
LANCE: There's this bloke at work.
I think he's interested.
753
00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:37,437
- I might give it a go.
- You don't need to tell me.
754
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,357
Yes, I do.
755
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,360
Well, I hope he's nice.
756
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:45,829
Thanks.
757
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,314
And I really did pay for that computer.
758
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,154
And...
759
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,278
...sorry.
760
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,638
You know.
761
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:02,560
That's OK.
762
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,113
We're mad.
763
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,958
We're all fucking mad.
764
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,191
(DOOR OPENS)
765
00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,959
Well, Violet, thanks for asking.
766
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,639
(DOOR SLAMS)
767
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,473
(TEXT ALERT)
768
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,480
It's from you.
769
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,471
His name's Hamish.
770
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,114
Scottish, obviously.
771
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,035
He's 33. I thought that was a good age.
772
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,116
Not too old, not too... young.
773
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,113
He works in a pharmacy. He likes...
774
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,588
I dunno, music.
775
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,959
You can ask him yourself.
776
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,198
You're meeting him eight o'clock,
Saturday night, in Via on Canal Street.
777
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:22,356
I used your photo. I got you a date.
778
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,550
(DISTANT SIREN BLARES)
779
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:28,114
- (SNORTS)
- Good luck.
780
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,119
Oh.
781
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,435
And he's a top. Is that OK?
782
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,160
Yeah.
783
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,431
♪ I kissed a girl and I liked it
784
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:45,473
♪ The taste of her cherry ChapStick
785
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:49,274
♪ I kissed a girl just to try it
786
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,596
♪ I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
787
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,790
♪ It felt so wrong
788
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,592
♪ It felt so right
789
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:00,428
♪ Don't mean I'm in love tonight
790
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:04,029
♪ I kissed a girl and I liked it
791
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,150
♪ I liked it
792
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:15,551
♪ This was never the way I planned
793
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,717
♪ Not my intention. ♪
794
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:31,000
Ripped By mstoll