1
00:00:01,182 --> 00:00:03,283
All right, you think you got moves?
2
00:00:03,318 --> 00:00:05,119
Well, you're not gonna see this coming.
3
00:00:05,153 --> 00:00:06,387
- Oh! Yeah!
- Oh, come on!
4
00:00:06,421 --> 00:00:09,356
Sorry, kinda saw that coming.
5
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:13,127
Speaking of things blowing up in
your face that everyone saw coming,
6
00:00:13,161 --> 00:00:15,963
- I heard you messed it up with Riley again.
- I didn't mess up...
7
00:00:15,997 --> 00:00:17,931
Unless she said I messed up...
8
00:00:17,966 --> 00:00:20,634
In which case, that's messed up!
9
00:00:20,668 --> 00:00:22,736
She just said you guys
were figuring things out,
10
00:00:22,771 --> 00:00:25,372
which I assumed was code for
"Ben screwed it up again."
11
00:00:25,407 --> 00:00:27,441
I think there were other factors involved,
12
00:00:27,475 --> 00:00:30,377
and by "other factors," I mean people.
13
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Okay,
but I'm guessing the other people's name
14
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:34,314
is Ben.
15
00:00:34,349 --> 00:00:36,350
- Aw, come on!
- Yeah.
16
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:39,086
- I win again.
- Yeah, whatever. You always win.
17
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,255
Ben, zero. Danny, a gajillion.
18
00:00:42,257 --> 00:00:43,957
Dude, calm down. It's just a game.
19
00:00:43,992 --> 00:00:45,826
- It's not just a game!
- It was.
20
00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:47,861
Now it's just weird.
21
00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:48,962
Rematch?
22
00:00:48,997 --> 00:00:50,597
- Yeah.
- Okay.
23
00:00:52,534 --> 00:00:56,837
Well, boys, I thought I had scraped
the bottom of the loser barrel,
24
00:00:56,871 --> 00:01:01,208
but tonight's date proved that
the barrel has a false bottom,
25
00:01:01,242 --> 00:01:02,609
and it's name was Doug.
26
00:01:04,245 --> 00:01:06,280
I mean, it's one thing to live in your car,
27
00:01:06,314 --> 00:01:08,415
but with a roommate? I mean, come on!
28
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And of course,
he spent the whole night looking at these
29
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and not this, and after I spent an hour
30
00:01:14,923 --> 00:01:16,957
telling him about my
exciting real estate career,
31
00:01:16,991 --> 00:01:18,959
he asked me how long I'd been a lawyer!
32
00:01:18,993 --> 00:01:22,663
I tell you, men never listen!
33
00:01:23,765 --> 00:01:25,666
Hey, mom. How was your date?
34
00:01:27,869 --> 00:01:30,971
♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
35
00:01:31,005 --> 00:01:34,666
♪ can take your life
and change direction ♪
36
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- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,782
So what? You won a game of basketball.
38
00:01:41,816 --> 00:01:44,718
Why don't you try something more challenging,
like baby making?
39
00:01:44,752 --> 00:01:46,653
Beaten you at that, haven't I?
40
00:01:46,688 --> 00:01:47,821
I'm not sure
41
00:01:47,856 --> 00:01:48,989
forgetting to put on a condom
42
00:01:49,023 --> 00:01:50,624
and getting a girl pregnant is
43
00:01:50,658 --> 00:01:52,526
the big win you think it is.
44
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,561
That's real nice, Uncle Danny.
45
00:01:54,596 --> 00:01:55,796
Real nice.
46
00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:58,699
Hey, mom, we're just dropping Emma...
47
00:01:58,733 --> 00:02:01,635
Mmm.
48
00:02:01,669 --> 00:02:03,704
Mom, what happened to you?
49
00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:05,506
I've completely given up.
50
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,908
I'm swearing off men. Isn't it great?
51
00:02:07,942 --> 00:02:10,944
No makeup, hairdos, or bathing.
52
00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:13,780
I'm basically living the life of a dude.
53
00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:17,684
No wonder you guys have so
much free time to be idiots.
54
00:02:20,855 --> 00:02:22,656
Now if you'll excuse me,
55
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:25,726
I'm gonna go drink beer in my bathtub,
56
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,928
because I can.
57
00:02:30,431 --> 00:02:32,533
Hey, dude, I think mom's broken.
58
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:35,569
You know, I've seen this before.
59
00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:36,670
You know what mom's problem is?
60
00:02:36,704 --> 00:02:39,106
Oh my God, there's something more than this?
61
00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:40,507
She needs to meet a decent guy,
62
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,142
and I know a ton of guys.
63
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:43,443
At least one's gotta be decent.
64
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No offense, bro,
but I think mom's looking for a relationship
65
00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:48,115
that doesn't end in
"we're figuring things out."
66
00:02:48,149 --> 00:02:49,983
Oh. You think you could do better?
67
00:02:50,018 --> 00:02:51,885
In a word, yeah, why not?
68
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,954
Okay, then you're on.
69
00:02:53,988 --> 00:02:56,723
Whoever sets up mom and pulls
her out of this slump, wins.
70
00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:59,526
Hey,
do either of you want my razors?
71
00:02:59,561 --> 00:03:01,461
I'm not gonna need 'em anymore!
72
00:03:03,598 --> 00:03:06,366
I'm not wrong, am I?
I mean, it's totally not fair.
73
00:03:06,401 --> 00:03:08,569
Ben didn't even give me
a say in this breakup,
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00:03:08,603 --> 00:03:10,897
time out, holding pattern
or whatever it's called.
75
00:03:11,506 --> 00:03:13,173
And you want to know what the worst part is?
76
00:03:13,207 --> 00:03:15,876
That I'm about to be stuck
in a small space with you?
77
00:03:17,011 --> 00:03:18,045
Hold the elevator!
78
00:03:18,079 --> 00:03:20,013
Oh dear God, please close.
79
00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:22,749
- Tucker.
- Sondra.
80
00:03:22,784 --> 00:03:24,685
Oh, hey, Riley. Back from yoga?
81
00:03:24,719 --> 00:03:26,687
- Yeah, we went to...
- I love yoga.
82
00:03:26,721 --> 00:03:27,821
It really takes my mind off things.
83
00:03:27,855 --> 00:03:30,691
Oh my God,
do I have a lot of things on my mind. A lot.
84
00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:33,627
- Oh my God, tell me about it.
- Okay, she's not really asking.
85
00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:34,761
It's just a figure of speech.
86
00:03:34,796 --> 00:03:36,597
Well, I'm sure it's about a guy.
87
00:03:36,631 --> 00:03:39,299
You know, it's always about a guy.
88
00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:41,435
It is about a guy! My husband!
89
00:03:41,469 --> 00:03:44,204
Oh, does he want a break? Or a time out?
90
00:03:44,238 --> 00:03:48,108
Or did he tell you that you feel
something about someone that you don't?
91
00:03:48,142 --> 00:03:50,978
Because he will. They all do.
They're all crazy.
92
00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:52,079
You're all crazy.
93
00:03:54,082 --> 00:03:55,882
He's just been so aloof lately,
94
00:03:55,917 --> 00:03:58,819
always staying late at work,
never has time for my calls.
95
00:03:58,853 --> 00:04:00,721
Oh, girl, that's easy... he cheating.
96
00:04:00,755 --> 00:04:02,589
What? You really think so?
97
00:04:02,624 --> 00:04:04,358
It doesn't matter what he's doing!
98
00:04:04,392 --> 00:04:06,226
All that matters is what you're doing.
99
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,527
You need to take charge of this situation
100
00:04:07,562 --> 00:04:09,262
so you don't have any regrets.
101
00:04:09,297 --> 00:04:10,430
Go find your voice.
102
00:04:10,465 --> 00:04:12,532
My voice?
Oh my God, thank you so much, Riley.
103
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:15,168
That was really good advice.
What people say about lawyers isn't true,
104
00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,070
because you're clearly very smart,
you're an attorney,
105
00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:18,305
and you totally know what
you're talking about.
106
00:04:20,308 --> 00:04:22,776
Riley,
what did I tell you about the elevator?
107
00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:24,845
Don't talk to anybody. I'm sorry.
108
00:04:27,915 --> 00:04:29,950
"Congratulations, Ben."
"Oh, thank you, Danny."
109
00:04:29,984 --> 00:04:31,818
That's a little glimpse into the future,
110
00:04:31,853 --> 00:04:33,553
because I just beat you.
111
00:04:33,588 --> 00:04:35,422
You see that guy right there?
112
00:04:35,456 --> 00:04:37,557
That's Richard, and he's perfect for mom.
113
00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:44,097
I think she ought to get
in line behind that guy.
114
00:04:44,132 --> 00:04:47,034
This isn't over. Oh crap, it's my boss!
115
00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:48,335
God, I hate him. He's so phony.
116
00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:50,103
Mr. Henderson! What's up, man?
117
00:04:50,138 --> 00:04:51,271
Good to see you. How are ya?
118
00:04:51,305 --> 00:04:53,106
Doing great,
119
00:04:53,141 --> 00:04:55,776
especially now that I'm finally
done with my messy divorce.
120
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,978
And for the record, when people say "messy,"
121
00:04:58,012 --> 00:04:59,846
they mean, "she got everything."
122
00:05:01,616 --> 00:05:03,817
So, you just got divorced.
123
00:05:03,851 --> 00:05:07,454
Bummer. Any chance you're in the
market for some female companionship?
124
00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:10,590
Ooh. I don't allow hookers in my bar.
125
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:13,660
But if you'd like to step outside,
126
00:05:13,695 --> 00:05:16,396
- maybe we can discuss this.
- 'I'm trying to set you up with my mom.
127
00:05:16,431 --> 00:05:19,199
Ah. Well,
I'm flatered that you would trust me
128
00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:20,967
with your mother's affections,
129
00:05:21,002 --> 00:05:23,036
especially after I just
showed interest in a hooker.
130
00:05:24,906 --> 00:05:28,675
Wheeler,
looks like I might get set up with your mom.
131
00:05:29,944 --> 00:05:32,546
If all goes well,
you could mix drinks for me here and at home.
132
00:05:37,518 --> 00:05:38,652
What did you do?
133
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:41,621
Just set the
multi-gajillionaire up with mom.
134
00:05:41,656 --> 00:05:44,191
Once again, I win.
135
00:05:44,225 --> 00:05:46,193
Danny, you can't just pick
some random good-looking guy
136
00:05:46,227 --> 00:05:48,128
with lots of money to go
out with mom to win the bet!
137
00:05:48,162 --> 00:05:49,262
You have to be selective,
138
00:05:49,297 --> 00:05:51,965
careful,
vet each prospective match thoroughly.
139
00:05:51,999 --> 00:05:54,134
Can I get a gin and tonic?
140
00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:55,969
How about a 40-something blonde?
141
00:05:57,739 --> 00:05:58,672
It's today's special.
142
00:06:00,942 --> 00:06:02,776
And here's another thing... fortune cookies.
143
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,611
Fortune cookies are so stupid.
144
00:06:04,645 --> 00:06:06,379
Where are the realistic ones? Like...
145
00:06:06,414 --> 00:06:07,781
"You'll finally date the guy of your dreams..."
146
00:06:07,815 --> 00:06:09,750
"...and then he'll dump you
for no reason whatsoever."
147
00:06:11,385 --> 00:06:13,453
"In bed."
148
00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:17,257
No, see? It doesn't always work. No.
149
00:06:19,393 --> 00:06:22,229
You were right! He's a cheater! A cheater!
150
00:06:22,263 --> 00:06:24,397
I took your advice and look what I found!
A locket! A locket!
151
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:28,201
- A locket?
- I don't know which one's worse:
152
00:06:28,236 --> 00:06:29,836
The fact that he's cheating on you,
153
00:06:29,871 --> 00:06:31,104
or that it's with a 90-year-old.
154
00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:35,609
Look, it has a picture of him on one side
155
00:06:35,643 --> 00:06:36,643
and another woman on the other.
156
00:06:36,677 --> 00:06:37,978
Oh damn. I'd get her a locket.
157
00:06:39,981 --> 00:06:41,815
You know what? Nicely done.
158
00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:45,418
You listened to my advice,
and you took charge of your destiny.
159
00:06:45,453 --> 00:06:48,488
- But now what do I do?
- Well, since you've taken back control,
160
00:06:48,523 --> 00:06:50,157
and you have your proof,
161
00:06:50,191 --> 00:06:53,260
you have some tough decisions
to make about your marriage
162
00:06:53,294 --> 00:06:55,328
and as a highly-regarded legal professional,
163
00:06:55,363 --> 00:06:57,097
I'm here to tell... oh my God!
164
00:06:57,131 --> 00:06:58,999
Oh my God,
I'm supposed to be at a deposition!
165
00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:01,234
Okay, you know what?
I'm sure you're gonna work it out.
166
00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:02,803
- Have fun!
- Wait! Where are you going?
167
00:07:02,837 --> 00:07:04,771
You can't leave me here with this crazy...
168
00:07:05,907 --> 00:07:07,674
Amount of food.
169
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,945
How can he do this to me?
170
00:07:11,979 --> 00:07:14,815
Do... do you wanna look in the locket again,
or...?
171
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,753
I know I'm not the easiest
woman to live with.
172
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,588
Or next to.
173
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:26,092
Look...
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00:07:26,127 --> 00:07:29,062
Sondra, I am really sorry
175
00:07:29,096 --> 00:07:30,363
that this is happening to you,
176
00:07:30,398 --> 00:07:32,365
and I know we are not the best of friends
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00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,869
or... even friends at all for that matter.
178
00:07:36,904 --> 00:07:39,673
You know,
nobody deserves to be treated like this.
179
00:07:39,707 --> 00:07:41,641
Thank you, Tucker.
180
00:07:41,676 --> 00:07:43,577
You're very sweet.
181
00:07:43,611 --> 00:07:45,645
I can be.
182
00:07:58,797 --> 00:08:01,098
- Hey.
- Oh wow, mom, you look great.
183
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,967
Try not to act so surprised.
184
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:04,668
I was on the couch for two days,
185
00:08:04,703 --> 00:08:06,470
not in the woods for two years.
186
00:08:07,873 --> 00:08:09,807
All right, now where is this client
you said couldn't wait to meet me?
187
00:08:09,841 --> 00:08:12,309
Oh, they decided they could wait,
188
00:08:12,344 --> 00:08:14,311
but hey, let's grab lunch anyway, okay?
189
00:08:14,346 --> 00:08:16,347
- Okay.
- Okay, there she is.
190
00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:20,117
Wow! You're right.
Those legs really don't quit,
191
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,419
though I would like to find
out where they take a break.
192
00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:26,190
Let's take it down a notch, sparky, okay?
That's my mom.
193
00:08:27,192 --> 00:08:29,927
In fact,
come wait out here while I go warm her up.
194
00:08:29,961 --> 00:08:32,196
Add that to the list of things you should
never have to say about your mother.
195
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,698
Hey, Mr. Henderson, over here!
196
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,602
- Have you met my mother, Bonnie?
- No,
197
00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:41,505
but I'd rather meet this
attractive young woman instead.
198
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:44,742
Wow. I wish the nachos here
came with that much cheese.
199
00:08:46,745 --> 00:08:49,513
Jack Henderson, I have two hotels.
200
00:08:49,548 --> 00:08:52,550
Bonnie Wheeler,
and I have two of a lot of things.
201
00:08:53,552 --> 00:08:54,985
And a clueless son.
202
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:57,121
- Danny, get lost.
- Oh yeah, I'll get you guys some drinks.
203
00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,323
Sorry, little bro.
204
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:03,193
Ironically, I just swore off men.
205
00:09:03,228 --> 00:09:05,829
But I think I'm about
to regret that decision.
206
00:09:05,864 --> 00:09:08,933
Excuse me, Mr. Henderson,
there's a call for you in the office.
207
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:10,134
I'll be right back.
208
00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:11,702
Don't move a muscle.
209
00:09:11,736 --> 00:09:14,638
Well,
the only muscle I'll be moving is this one.
210
00:09:18,944 --> 00:09:21,412
Oh, this is for you
211
00:09:21,446 --> 00:09:23,447
from the gentleman outside.
212
00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:25,616
Well, why would he send me a drink
213
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,551
when I'm obviously sitting...
214
00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:30,354
In the wrong section.
215
00:09:30,388 --> 00:09:33,190
The young guns are out there.
216
00:09:34,192 --> 00:09:36,193
Well, you know,
Jack did say he'd be a minute.
217
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,963
Oops, time's up.
I can't be expected to wait around forever.
218
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,300
Hi, I'm Bonnie.
219
00:09:43,335 --> 00:09:46,837
- And I'm Frank.
- Well, you two seem to be hitting it off.
220
00:09:46,871 --> 00:09:48,973
Mr. Henderson needs me in his
office right away? Thank you.
221
00:09:51,076 --> 00:09:52,876
Wait. What... what are you doing out here?
222
00:09:52,911 --> 00:09:55,746
- And when is he leaving?
- Honey, this is Frank.
223
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:56,914
Be cool!
224
00:09:56,948 --> 00:09:59,617
Hi, Frank. I'm Danny.
225
00:09:59,651 --> 00:10:01,619
Nice to meet you. Oh.
226
00:10:01,653 --> 00:10:03,554
- What's the matter with you?
- Danny!
227
00:10:03,588 --> 00:10:06,323
I'm sorry.
I forgot that I had a drink in that hand,
228
00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:08,459
- it happens.
- Yeah.
229
00:10:08,493 --> 00:10:11,261
I gotta go. Maybe some other time.
230
00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:14,231
Oh, Frank. Oh.
231
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:18,235
Well, lucky for you,
today I'm traveling with a spare.
232
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,870
Now where's Jack?
233
00:10:19,904 --> 00:10:21,338
Oh, hey, mom, bad news.
234
00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:24,008
He's holed up in his office.
I'm not sure what happened.
235
00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:26,110
Something about losing something.
236
00:10:27,779 --> 00:10:29,847
Well,
the last time I lost two guys this fast,
237
00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:31,682
was when I told the three guys I was dating
238
00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:33,817
in high school I was pregnant.
239
00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:36,820
You may have gotten rid of Frank,
but it doesn't matter.
240
00:10:36,855 --> 00:10:39,723
I'm still gonna win.
Do you just wanna concede now?
241
00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:42,593
If concede means I win, then I do.
242
00:10:42,627 --> 00:10:45,429
- It doesn't.
- Then I don't.
243
00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:53,170
Tucker, hi. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry
244
00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:54,938
about sondra. Was she upset?
245
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,074
Not when she left.
246
00:10:58,943 --> 00:11:01,211
You and you have ruined my life!
247
00:11:01,246 --> 00:11:02,980
Ru-ined! I couldn't take it,
248
00:11:03,014 --> 00:11:05,649
so I demanded an explanation,
and threw the locket in my husband's face,
249
00:11:05,684 --> 00:11:08,519
- and do you know what he said?
- "Ow"?
250
00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:11,755
He said the locket was for me,
251
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,590
and that woman's picture came with it!
252
00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:15,426
So now he's not the cheater! I am!
253
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:18,562
- A cheater? With who?
- With him!
254
00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:23,500
I'm sorry,
but Tucker's the only person standing there.
255
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:27,171
He preyed on me while I was weak.
256
00:11:27,205 --> 00:11:29,339
You weren't too weak to
carry me into that bedroom!
257
00:11:29,374 --> 00:11:33,143
Tucker! Now what is the matter with you?
258
00:11:33,178 --> 00:11:35,212
Don't be pointing fingers!
259
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:39,883
If it weren't for all your don't-let-men
decide-your-future girl-power extremism,
260
00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:42,519
I never would've ended up in
his bed in the first place!
261
00:11:42,554 --> 00:11:43,721
Yeah, Riley.
262
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:46,824
If you didn't shove all
your girl power on her,
263
00:11:46,858 --> 00:11:48,759
she wouldn't have shoved
her girl parts on me.
264
00:11:50,495 --> 00:11:52,296
Now if you will excuse me,
265
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:53,530
I'm going to figure out a way,
266
00:11:53,565 --> 00:11:56,333
to tell my husband and
pray that he forgives me.
267
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:59,169
I'm an adulteress! An adulteress!
268
00:12:00,205 --> 00:12:01,505
Wow.
269
00:12:04,042 --> 00:12:05,409
You really ruined her life.
270
00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:08,979
I'm just... I'm glad I stayed out of it.
271
00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:15,052
Knock-knock. Mom, you decent?
272
00:12:15,086 --> 00:12:17,721
So, mom's not here,
273
00:12:17,756 --> 00:12:19,690
but she couldn't have gone far.
274
00:12:19,724 --> 00:12:21,592
Can I get you something to eat?
275
00:12:21,626 --> 00:12:24,628
Ooh. Still warm. It's probably okay.
276
00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:26,530
All right, so you wait here
277
00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:27,765
and I'm gonna go find her.
278
00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,700
She's probably out getting cleaning supplies
279
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:30,768
or buying hangers.
280
00:12:30,802 --> 00:12:34,304
Don't you think she might
be just a tad concerned
281
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:36,473
to come home and find a
strange man in her apartment?
282
00:12:36,508 --> 00:12:38,342
You'd be surprised.
283
00:12:39,444 --> 00:12:41,345
- Mind if I wash up?
- Oh yeah, sure.
284
00:12:41,379 --> 00:12:43,347
The mop's next to the fridge. Thanks.
285
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,751
And that concludes
286
00:12:47,786 --> 00:12:49,787
today's post-daycare wrap-up,
287
00:12:49,821 --> 00:12:51,922
"why grandma's gonna die alone."
288
00:12:51,956 --> 00:12:55,759
No, she's not, Emma.
I'm gonna be right there with her,
289
00:12:55,794 --> 00:12:58,796
because today I ruined somebody's
life and their marriage.
290
00:13:00,565 --> 00:13:02,633
Well... I scrubbed so hard
291
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:04,501
I think I'm actually a shade lighter.
292
00:13:06,504 --> 00:13:07,604
What's up with him?
293
00:13:07,639 --> 00:13:10,174
- He slept with sondra.
- Riley!
294
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,209
You slept with Sondra?
295
00:13:12,243 --> 00:13:13,410
Are you deaf?
296
00:13:18,183 --> 00:13:20,050
I know.
297
00:13:20,084 --> 00:13:21,885
You've met her.
298
00:13:23,922 --> 00:13:25,189
Hey, mom, it's your favorite son!
299
00:13:26,157 --> 00:13:27,958
Hey, man,
thanks for giving my mom a second chance.
300
00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:29,827
You two are gonna have
a lot of fun together.
301
00:13:29,861 --> 00:13:32,529
You and your mom seem oddly close.
302
00:13:32,564 --> 00:13:34,565
That's why you're here, Frank.
Take off some of the pressure.
303
00:13:34,599 --> 00:13:36,700
- Right.
- All right, looks like she stepped out,
304
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,769
so I'll go see if I can track her down.
Make yourself comfortable.
305
00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:41,338
Don't you think she'll
be a little freaked out
306
00:13:41,372 --> 00:13:43,240
to find a strange man in her apartment?
307
00:13:43,274 --> 00:13:44,408
You'd be surprised.
308
00:13:48,513 --> 00:13:51,315
Hey, Tucker, I got you these,
309
00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:54,351
you know,
in case you wanna hook up with Sondra again.
310
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,956
Oh my God, Mrs. Wheeler,
I think you're being robbed.
311
00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:00,157
What?
312
00:14:00,191 --> 00:14:02,693
Frank?
313
00:14:02,727 --> 00:14:04,695
How the hell did he get in my apartment?
314
00:14:04,729 --> 00:14:06,697
Oh! I'm gonna kill Ben...
315
00:14:06,731 --> 00:14:09,566
Or thank him, depending on where this goes.
316
00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:13,537
How can I swear off men when they
are literally breaking down my door?
317
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,275
Wait, why does that guy look so familiar?
318
00:14:19,277 --> 00:14:21,378
Because that's no guy.
319
00:14:21,412 --> 00:14:22,579
That's Sondra's husband.
320
00:14:23,581 --> 00:14:26,516
Yes! Ha! So he really is a cheater.
321
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:30,387
I'm not really sure that this
is a high-five kind of moment.
322
00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:38,483
What's up, Danny? What are you doing here?
323
00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:41,352
Uh... nothing.
324
00:14:41,387 --> 00:14:43,488
- What are you doing here?
- I live here.
325
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:47,158
I don't think so, man.
326
00:14:48,193 --> 00:14:50,261
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
327
00:14:50,295 --> 00:14:52,096
I gotta talk to you, mom!
328
00:14:54,199 --> 00:14:55,967
Hey, what's up, guys?
We're just looking for my mom.
329
00:14:57,202 --> 00:14:59,036
Yeah, she just left for her place.
330
00:14:59,071 --> 00:15:00,938
So should we go tell Sondra the bad news?
331
00:15:00,973 --> 00:15:03,641
- Try not to gloat.
- Try not to have sex with her.
332
00:15:05,677 --> 00:15:07,712
You lost. Mom's gonna walk right in
333
00:15:07,746 --> 00:15:09,046
to Mr. Henderson sitting on her couch.
334
00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:10,948
What are you talking about?
Frank's at her apartment right now.
335
00:15:10,983 --> 00:15:12,550
No, Mr. Henderson is.
336
00:15:13,619 --> 00:15:15,753
Uh-oh.
337
00:15:17,322 --> 00:15:18,689
- No! No! I...
- Yes!
338
00:15:21,693 --> 00:15:23,194
No!
339
00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:27,231
Hello! I've got a hot delivery for...
340
00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,367
Frank?
341
00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:32,937
- Hello?
- Mom! We can explain!
342
00:15:32,971 --> 00:15:34,972
Hopefully what that guy
from the bar was doing
343
00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:36,808
standing in my apartment 10 minutes ago.
344
00:15:36,842 --> 00:15:39,043
- Wait. Are you alone?
- Uh-huh.
345
00:15:45,617 --> 00:15:47,585
I don't know what's going on.
346
00:15:47,619 --> 00:15:50,655
That's what I get for leaving
the safety of my sweatpants.
347
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:57,361
There you are.
348
00:15:57,396 --> 00:15:59,230
I've been running around
for the last two hours.
349
00:15:59,264 --> 00:16:01,065
And I've been drinking
for the last two hours,
350
00:16:01,099 --> 00:16:02,333
trying to figure out why a son would
351
00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:04,202
set his mom up for a three-way.
352
00:16:05,237 --> 00:16:08,039
No! Oh God, no, no no.
353
00:16:08,073 --> 00:16:10,141
You've got it all wrong. That's her ex.
354
00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:13,010
Horrible breakup.
She wants to start over with you.
355
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:15,046
Not really looking to settle down.
356
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,748
Either is she! She hates commitment.
357
00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:20,685
She loves a good fling.
In fact, you should go fling her right now.
358
00:16:23,789 --> 00:16:26,624
- Oh God!
- And it looks like I win again.
359
00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:28,726
I just dropped Henderson
off at mom's 10 minutes ago.
360
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,262
Oh yeah.
361
00:16:32,264 --> 00:16:34,499
- Are you Ben Wheeler?
- Who's asking?
362
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:38,135
- The F.B.I.
- Then I'm answering and sweating.
363
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:39,170
How can I help you?
364
00:16:40,172 --> 00:16:41,839
We're looking for Jack Henderson.
365
00:16:41,874 --> 00:16:43,941
We have a warrant for his
arrest for tax evasion.
366
00:16:43,976 --> 00:16:45,176
Do you know where we can find him?
367
00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:46,777
Really?
368
00:16:48,046 --> 00:16:49,780
Oh my God, I win!
369
00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:52,550
Yes! I finally win!
370
00:16:53,752 --> 00:16:54,785
Sorry, it's a long story.
371
00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:56,521
Come with me. I'll show you where he is.
372
00:16:57,623 --> 00:16:58,823
Yes! Oh!
373
00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:03,494
So, just ballpark figures.
374
00:17:03,529 --> 00:17:06,564
Can you afford a ballpark?
375
00:17:06,598 --> 00:17:08,466
Oh yeah.
376
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:11,202
But I'd rather talk about other figures.
377
00:17:11,236 --> 00:17:13,938
- Yours.
- Oh.
378
00:17:13,972 --> 00:17:15,172
Aha! See?
379
00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:17,942
♪ Cheater, cheater,
pumpkin... ♪ that's not your husband.
380
00:17:17,976 --> 00:17:20,878
- He most certainly is not.
- Wait, are you sure? Look again.
381
00:17:22,047 --> 00:17:24,048
What is wrong with the two of you?
382
00:17:24,082 --> 00:17:25,149
Bonnie, hi, I'm sorry...
383
00:17:25,183 --> 00:17:26,951
- Frank?
- Sondra!
384
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:29,754
Hey, there you are.
385
00:17:29,788 --> 00:17:30,955
These are for you.
386
00:17:30,989 --> 00:17:32,657
Don't read the card.
387
00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:36,394
You're married? To Sondra?
388
00:17:37,396 --> 00:17:38,563
Are you deaf?
389
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,568
Thank God I listened to Riley,
390
00:17:43,602 --> 00:17:46,070
who inspired me to take charge of my life
391
00:17:46,104 --> 00:17:48,306
and not have any regrets.
She helped me find my voice.
392
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:50,141
And this voice is taking it to the rooftops
393
00:17:50,175 --> 00:17:52,143
and yelling "it's over!" O-ver!
394
00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:55,246
Honey, please!
395
00:17:56,882 --> 00:17:59,116
- Now is this a high-five moment?
- Yeah, it is!
396
00:18:00,352 --> 00:18:02,720
Hey, hey, why was Frank just
running out of here with Sondra?
397
00:18:02,754 --> 00:18:04,589
Because she's his wife.
398
00:18:04,623 --> 00:18:05,690
Really?
399
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:06,891
Is he deaf?
400
00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:11,596
- F.B.I., you're under arrest.
- Damn it. Damn it.
401
00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,499
Okay, let me just say it was spring break,
402
00:18:15,534 --> 00:18:18,402
I was 17,
and so I wasn't officially an adult yet.
403
00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:22,206
- Just...
- Mom, not you. Mr. Henderson.
404
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,308
What? Whoa! There's gotta be some mistake.
405
00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:26,010
Hey, hey. Hey, let's talk about this.
406
00:18:26,044 --> 00:18:28,045
You look like lobster guys.
Do you like lobster?
407
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,981
I love lobster. I've got a great...
408
00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:31,159
Hey, what's going on?
409
00:18:31,184 --> 00:18:33,884
Your guy is going to
prison for tax evasion.
410
00:18:33,919 --> 00:18:35,853
That's what's going on, so you lose.
411
00:18:35,887 --> 00:18:37,088
Oh, and you think setting mom up
412
00:18:37,122 --> 00:18:39,023
with a married man constitutes a win?
413
00:18:39,057 --> 00:18:39,739
I don't think so.
414
00:18:39,764 --> 00:18:41,826
Okay, what the hell are
you two talking about?
415
00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:43,761
Lose what? Win what?
416
00:18:43,795 --> 00:18:46,697
What was this? Some kind of contest? A game?
417
00:18:46,732 --> 00:18:48,866
"Find a date for poor old mom"?
418
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,702
Well, when you say it like that,
it sounds like we did a bad thing.
419
00:18:53,605 --> 00:18:55,439
Okay, so you didn't even care enough
420
00:18:55,474 --> 00:18:58,242
to find out anything about these guys,
421
00:18:58,276 --> 00:19:00,544
like whether they're married or a felon?
422
00:19:02,247 --> 00:19:05,216
I mean, so you think I would
just go out with just anybody?
423
00:19:06,351 --> 00:19:08,285
I feel like the real
answer might make you mad.
424
00:19:10,022 --> 00:19:12,056
Well, why would you think that?
425
00:19:12,090 --> 00:19:15,159
You don't see me going out
with a bunch of random guys
426
00:19:15,193 --> 00:19:17,862
that I don't even bother getting to know,
do you?
427
00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:22,933
Oh my God.
428
00:19:24,703 --> 00:19:25,803
You're right.
429
00:19:27,506 --> 00:19:28,873
That's exactly what I do.
430
00:19:30,709 --> 00:19:32,476
Why do I do that?
431
00:19:33,912 --> 00:19:35,513
You know what?
432
00:19:36,715 --> 00:19:40,484
From now on I'm gonna
remember how amazing I am
433
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:44,588
ad I'm gonna make sure that the
guys I date are just as amazing.
434
00:19:45,657 --> 00:19:47,725
So what you're saying is "thank you"?
435
00:19:47,759 --> 00:19:50,795
No! No, "thank you's" are reserved
436
00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:53,564
for people who actually
meant to do the right thing,
437
00:19:53,598 --> 00:19:55,533
not for selfish kids who got lucky.
438
00:19:57,502 --> 00:19:58,736
Come here.
439
00:20:04,743 --> 00:20:07,578
Who needs a man in her
life when I've got you two?
440
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,549
Mom? It's a little tight to be a hug, mom!
441
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:12,783
Yeah, I'm still mad. I'm still a little mad.
442
00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:14,785
Mom! Ow!
443
00:20:18,723 --> 00:20:20,824
So we agree? No more competing.
444
00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:22,159
Yeah, man. You're right.
445
00:20:22,193 --> 00:20:24,028
It's just so immature.
446
00:20:24,062 --> 00:20:25,963
Yes! I win! What?
447
00:20:25,997 --> 00:20:28,699
Ooh! Oh man.
448
00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:29,900
Rematch?
449
00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:31,001
You're on, buddy.
450
00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:34,705
Tucker, you need to talk to the mailman
451
00:20:34,739 --> 00:20:37,708
about keeping your mail out of my box.
452
00:20:44,683 --> 00:20:45,749
Don't wait up.