1
00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:06,940
Previously on "Weeds":
2
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,670
Please don't put
me back in jail.
3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,250
I want to know where
Nancy Botwin is.
4
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,320
I can do that.
5
00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:15,370
I want to know how
she knows this man,
6
00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:17,670
when they met, and
who introduced them.
7
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:18,720
Oh, shit.
8
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:19,970
Learned all you need?
9
00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:21,040
You want to make
a real run?
10
00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:25,650
Let's go next door to the pet
store -- la tienda de mascotas.
11
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:28,700
We researched the insurance
policies on the municipal buildings.
12
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,220
There are several discrepancies.
13
00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:32,270
Adiós, buddy.
14
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,900
How'd it go at the track today,
Dad? Catch a few winners?
15
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:39,950
No? Not one?
Anything? Shocking.
16
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:42,140
Geharget mach.
17
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,230
- What did she say?
- "Kill me."
18
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,610
What do you want me to say?
19
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:47,910
That I want to kill my mother?
That I want her dead?
20
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,490
- I wish this would all go away?
- Yeah.
21
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:55,480
We decided it'd be best to pull the plug,
though, and let her rest in peace.
22
00:00:57,610 --> 00:00:59,120
That's it.
23
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,450
She's still breathing.
24
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:04,610
Shane... get Mommy a pillow.
25
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:15,540
Transcript: YDY.Com/BBS
26
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:24,540
Sync: ßÇÈâÈâ [ydy.com]
Edit: TeH_VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
27
00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:27,540
Weeds S04E04:
The Three Coolers
28
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,490
Isn't that a
fire hazard?
29
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,820
It's on a dish.
30
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,520
What if there's an earthquake?
31
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:59,260
Well, I think the odds are in your favor that
two houses you live in won't burn down...
32
00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:01,060
although your mother
is a wild card.
33
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:04,960
Could we all settle down and
honor the dead a little here?
34
00:02:04,990 --> 00:02:08,100
- Did she leave a will?
- Yeah. Everything's mine.
35
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,090
Okay.
36
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:15,730
Let's take off our shoes and sit
and pay respect to a courageous woman
37
00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:21,610
who escaped the clutches of Adolf
Hitler to live a long, productive life...
38
00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:28,340
only to be snuffed out by a hypoallergenic
pillow from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
39
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,110
Sit.
40
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:51,420
Now what?
41
00:02:51,430 --> 00:02:53,640
Now we remember.
42
00:02:53,650 --> 00:02:55,610
Soon we'll eat.
43
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:58,380
And then we'll
remember more.
44
00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,230
How come we never
did this for dad?
45
00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:03,140
Mommy was too sedated
to think of it.
46
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:08,390
How long do we sit and remember
and occasionally break for snacks?
47
00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:10,240
Seven days.
48
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:11,280
You're kidding, right?
49
00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:14,570
Shane, make sure the
front door is left open.
50
00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:20,050
During Shivah, people usually come by, and
they'll bring food and pay their respects.
51
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:23,720
How is it that all Jews
aren't morbidly obese?
52
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:26,720
Everything revolves
around food.
53
00:03:26,730 --> 00:03:29,920
So sorry for your loss.
54
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:34,090
Bob Warden,
Beachfront realty.
55
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,280
This is from my mom.
56
00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:47,690
That's so generous.
57
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,070
She owns a cheese store.
58
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:54,620
Rad, honey, take off your
skatey wheely thingies.
59
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,010
What's up, dude?
60
00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,820
Please get out
of my house.
61
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,660
Hello. I'm Katie Thatcher.
62
00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:10,540
I'm so sorry
for your loss.
63
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,490
She was a lovely woman.
64
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,240
Shit.
65
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,710
Katie.
66
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,540
Bob.
67
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,300
Hi, kids.
68
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,300
What's going on?
Some sort of séance?
69
00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:26,180
They're bullshit but fun.
70
00:04:26,990 --> 00:04:28,930
We're sitting Shivah
for Bubbie.
71
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:29,780
Doug?
72
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,870
Andy said it'd be
cool if I crashed.
73
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,310
- Who the fuck are you?
- Doug Wilson.
74
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,500
- Who the fuck are you?
- Lenny Botwin. I own the house.
75
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,650
I don't think it's gonna
be cool if you crash.
76
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:41,490
I got the entire town of
majestic up in my grill, Nance.
77
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,460
I need somewhere
to lay low.
78
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:44,690
I can sleep in
my minivan.
79
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,730
I just need a place to
bust out my nug nugs.
80
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,580
Who are you to tell
him he could stay here?
81
00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,460
- He's my friend.
- Yeah, my mother died.
82
00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:51,590
My grandmother died.
83
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,070
- Putz!
- Asshole.
84
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,510
Humboldt fog.
Nice.
85
00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:59,900
- So, how'd grandma die?
- Mom killed her.
86
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,200
You're grotesque.
87
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:11,270
The jackpot's up to $350 million, so
mind your own fucking business.
88
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,590
Shivah Goy...
89
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,370
quik-mart up
the street.
90
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:20,020
They're her holocaust numbers.
91
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:22,890
Hey, man. They're obviously
lucky. She survived.
92
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:26,390
What the fuck is that?
93
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,440
Oh, yeah.
94
00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:35,360
They're from a
friend of mine.
95
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,530
3... 2...
96
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:02,500
Attention, beloved
mixed-marriage family.
97
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,140
Shivah is over.
98
00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:07,560
And this house is
now for sale.
99
00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:10,530
So, unless you're in a position
to pay me $1.5 million,
100
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:14,510
I suggest you find alternate
accommodations immediately.
101
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,680
Where are we gonna live?
102
00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:18,610
Apparently that's of no concern
to your loving grandfather.
103
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,300
This house should
stay in the family.
104
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,850
Tell you what-- for you, I'm
gonna knock off 100 grand,
105
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,870
because I won't have to
pay the broker's commission.
106
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,700
That's a good deal.
107
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:28,430
I want to stay.
I'm not leaving.
108
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,900
Fine. It'll add to
the value of the house.
109
00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:33,440
Three bedrooms, two
baths, and a little boy.
110
00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:35,010
I can sell it to a priest.
111
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,630
Hey, you guys could
stay in my minivan.
112
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,920
I got to get my own place.
113
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,390
I said I'm not leaving.
114
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,260
I heard you,
Shane. I get it.
115
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,350
We'll be back later.
116
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,400
- Another bed skirt?
- Dust ruffle.
117
00:06:44,410 --> 00:06:50,410
I just wanted to say it's been an amazing experience
to have been here with you for the last few days.
118
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:54,520
I mean, your mother-- well, she
seemed like an extraordinary woman.
119
00:06:54,530 --> 00:06:57,990
Bob, I'm touched by your
outpouring of emotion.
120
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,690
And I think Bubbie would
have been, too. Thank you.
121
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:03,490
But I'm gonna go with the hot
chick who walked in here on Tuesday.
122
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,670
You're a piece of shit.
123
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:12,950
- Who's there?
- Nancy.
124
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,580
We used to have a Nancy.
She was a good worker.
125
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:19,810
But she stopped showing up,
and we had to kill her.
126
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:22,590
Seven days cooped up with
the family felt like death.
127
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,530
Damn!
128
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:27,080
If I had to sit home for seven days
every time a family member dropped dead,
129
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,860
I'd never leave the fucking house.
130
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,140
Thanks for the flowers.
131
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,960
You're really not supposed to send
flowers to a jewish funeral-- Shivah...
132
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,260
whatever. Still...
very thoughtful.
133
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:39,870
I had to smother a guy
with a pillow once, too.
134
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,750
My arms got tired.
You?
135
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,250
Not so much.
It was tempur-pedic.
136
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:48,580
Conformed to her face.
137
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:51,550
Tempur-pedic. Got to
remember that.
138
00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:55,170
- Am I going on a picnic?
- Maybe.
139
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,940
Depends on which
one you pick.
140
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:58,160
I choose one of these?
141
00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,980
Like "Deal Or No Deal."
142
00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:03,460
Except here you got to choose,
so it's more like "Deal Or Deal, "
143
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:08,340
and there ain't those leggy chicas with
suitcases you want to fuck in the mouth.
144
00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:12,270
Red or blue.
But be careful.
145
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,740
One of them is
very dangerous.
146
00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:18,890
Open it.
147
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,690
There's a gun in here.
148
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:26,650
And a juice box.
149
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,590
And $5,000.
150
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,090
And another $5,000
after you come back.
151
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,500
What do I need a gun for?
152
00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:35,940
You're going to the desert.
They got rattlesnakes.
153
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,530
Maybe the chupacabra.
154
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,640
This makes me nervous.
155
00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:42,170
It's just a pickup. You don't
even have to cross the border.
156
00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:46,120
You just sit in your car,
and Mexico comes to you.
157
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:47,210
I want $15,000.
158
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,240
You chose the red.
Red pays $10,000.
159
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,620
This is the same address.
It's the same thing.
160
00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:57,660
Ah, but no juice box.
161
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,550
So, I figure we'll ask for
$2,000,000 and settle for $1.5
162
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,100
I'm thinking we ask for
1.2 and settle for a mil.
163
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:08,560
Oh, that's insane.
164
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,510
We're a block
from the beach.
165
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:12,700
There's a charter school
right down the street.
166
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,480
There's not a schvartze in sight.
167
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,590
There's a recession, the
banks aren't lending money,
168
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,870
and when the banks aren't lending
money, people aren't buying.
169
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,120
What about the Chinese?
They're loaded.
170
00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:22,570
They prefer Orange County.
171
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:26,190
Jesus Christ! I got a $1,100,000
borrowed against this place.
172
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,350
Well, if you want to sit on it for a couple
of years, I'm sure the market will bounce back.
173
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,780
Well, with all due
respect, fuck you.
174
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,070
I'm gonna go with Bob Warden.
175
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,540
He'll tell you
the same thing.
176
00:09:35,580 --> 00:09:38,770
And his tits won't get you
an extra 50k at closing.
177
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,430
You want to have dinner later?
178
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,140
I'll be in touch, Mr. Botwin.
179
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,270
That's a no?
180
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,430
The banks aren't lending.
181
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,470
How do they know how much
all this stuff is worth?
182
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,630
Well, they break it
up into categories.
183
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,050
Yellow is dreck, green is
crap, blue is shit. Here.
184
00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,430
- Come and help me.
- With what?
185
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,640
- A treasure hunt.
- Cool.
186
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:04,790
I found Nancy.
187
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:08,870
And she was with Guillermo.
188
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:14,940
They talked, and then he left, and then
she didn't leave the house the whole week.
189
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:17,910
It was weird.
190
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,790
There was this strange meeting.
191
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,630
I think she's more
powerful than we think.
192
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,330
People came with food.
193
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:29,010
They took off their shoes.
See?
194
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:31,800
Look. That's Doug Wilson.
195
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:35,580
She's getting her
crew back together.
196
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:38,180
So, what do you
make of all of this?
197
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:42,810
I make that someone Jewish died
and that you're no Diane Arbus.
198
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,640
This is new to me, okay?
199
00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:48,570
I mean, I am taking pictures
with a plastic camera.
200
00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:49,870
I'm trying.
201
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:52,710
Guillermo... Garcia...
Gomez.
202
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:56,300
I told you. I saw
them together.
203
00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,690
He was driving her Prius.
204
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:01,970
So, what do we got here-- she's sitting
Shivah, and he's environmentally sensitive?
205
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:05,810
Boffo work,
Agent Hodes.
206
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:09,000
You miss wearing orange?
207
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,830
No, I just-- I need
more time. Please?
208
00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:17,860
- Sing with me.
- What?
209
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:21,450
Sing with me, and I'll
give you more time.
210
00:11:26,130 --> 00:11:28,710
Going once...
211
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,680
* You are an obsession I
cannot sleep, *
212
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,550
* I am a possession unopened
at your feet *
213
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:44,910
* there is no balance,
no equality, *
214
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:49,330
* be still I will not
accept defeat, *
215
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,750
So... what do you
guys think?
216
00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:01,000
- Awesome.
- Legendary.
217
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:06,530
I can't feel my left...
anything.
218
00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:09,810
I have a son your age.
219
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:13,150
Handsome, lean, bright-eyed.
220
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,300
You suck dick, Silas?
221
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:18,010
No, I don't,
Mr. Wilson.
222
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,300
- Well, he does.
- Well, that's his choice, isn't it?
223
00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:23,070
Nope. My fault.
I made him gay.
224
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:25,820
My wife-- gone.
Also my fault.
225
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:29,740
Warts-- not gone.
Technically my fault.
226
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,630
City of majestic-- broke.
CPA license-- revoked...
227
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,990
I assume. Didn't check.
228
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:39,640
My life--
an abyss.
229
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:45,060
Can you use the downstairs
toilet from now on, Mr. Wilson?
230
00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:46,860
Kick a man while
he's down.
231
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,350
No, really. Use the
downstairs toilet.
232
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,200
You think you're better than me, Botwin,
'cause your van has no windows?
233
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:58,260
Doug... that's a window.
234
00:12:58,270 --> 00:13:00,610
A window to what, Andy?
235
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:04,360
Look at us. Purposeless,
directionless, homeless...
236
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:06,960
just less.
237
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,800
Do you suck dick, Silas?
238
00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:12,490
You asked me that
already, Mr. Wilson.
239
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,830
Oh, right. Right.
240
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:17,280
Do you like the taste?
241
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,240
I hate to interrupt this, uh, think tank.
242
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,550
- Andy, I need you.
- I'm toasted.
243
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,420
There's no math
involved. Come on.
244
00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:30,440
Hurry up.
245
00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:35,050
You suck dick, Silas?
246
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,520
What if there's no money?
247
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,480
There's money,
believe me.
248
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:41,760
Bubbie was convinced the
Nazis were gonna rise again.
249
00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:44,710
So, when she got too old to potentially
schtupp her way out of a camp,
250
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,280
she started hoarding
money for bribes.
251
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,580
- That's crazy.
- That's not crazy at all.
252
00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:52,550
Listen, genocide can happen
again if we're not vigilant.
253
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,670
It must never happen again.
254
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,720
- It has happened again.
- What are you talking about?
255
00:13:56,730 --> 00:14:00,520
Genocide. In Rwanda,
Cambodia, Bosnia.
256
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:03,930
No, no. To Jews. It must
never happen again to Jews.
257
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:07,060
What do I give a shit
about the other places?
258
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,980
Jackpot! Good old
Jewish paranoia.
259
00:14:10,990 --> 00:14:14,080
The trick is making
it work for you.
260
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:19,770
Looks like 15
dimes in here.
261
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:21,300
How would Bubbie have
gotten up there?
262
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,740
Money's probably been
up there for decades.
263
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,680
Well, this bill's from 2004.
264
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:29,240
So? She wasn't even
bedridden till 2006.
265
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:32,110
Listen, she was a very
spry woman in her day.
266
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,800
This one's from 2007.
267
00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:37,060
What are you-- the money
detective? Give me that.
268
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:41,440
I don't think that's Bubbie's
money. I think it's my mom's.
269
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:46,970
Why would your mom have $15,000,
in cash, hidden in a hatbox?
270
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:52,910
What did she do?
271
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,330
She found it.
272
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,170
What are we supposed
to be waiting for?
273
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,360
No idea.
274
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:20,060
How will we know when it arrives?
275
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,980
We'll know.
276
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:27,030
Forecast number 11.
277
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,550
- I saw someone following us.
- Nobody was following us.
278
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,610
- I saw headlights.
- Those are fireflies.
279
00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:37,640
- There's no fireflies in california.
- You're fucked up on Silas' weed.
280
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:41,110
- It's good weed.
- I'm so proud.
281
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:48,240
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
God damn it!
282
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,560
Oh, God, we're so out
of here! Start the car.
283
00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:53,930
Calm down.
284
00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:56,100
What if it wasn't a lizard?
285
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:58,460
What if it's a fucking
alien? I'm all fucked up.
286
00:15:58,470 --> 00:15:59,950
- Take me home.
- I can't take you home.
287
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,320
Why didn't you
bring more snacks?
288
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:02,740
Such a good idea
bringing you.
289
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,690
- Calm the fuck down, or I'll shoot you.
- All right!
290
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:09,920
All right. Lost my cool.
Bringing it back in.
291
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:13,450
Oh, God!
Under control.
292
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,100
Under control.
293
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,150
Drug-smuggling badass,
waiting for...
294
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:24,760
don't know what...
in the middle of, uh...
295
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,290
don't know where, with a gun.
Starting to freak out again.
296
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,760
- It's time to freak out again.
- Andy!
297
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,470
Where did your mother
get this money?
298
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,740
I told you--
she found it.
299
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,720
- You're lying.
- I'm not.
300
00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:44,750
- Is your mother a prostitute?
- No.
301
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:50,430
She wears those dresses all the time
and keeps odd hours and deals in cash.
302
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,730
What happened to
all the cheese?
303
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:04,590
Is that her pimp?
304
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,550
My mom is not
a prostitute.
305
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,320
Well, she's definitely
a criminal of some kind.
306
00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:11,370
- Did she rob a bank?
- No.
307
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:13,340
- A costco?
- No.
308
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:16,700
Is she a coke dealer?
309
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:18,790
no.
310
00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:25,480
What happened to
all the cheese?
311
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,220
Weed!
312
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,070
Your mother's a
weed dealer.
313
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,980
Give me back
her money.
314
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,740
Are we gonna
die tonight?
315
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:44,460
Probably not.
316
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:48,930
Still, we could. Let's say thoughtful
things about each other.
317
00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:56,330
You're...
a good person.
318
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,380
You've really stepped
up for the kids.
319
00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:02,000
You make me laugh.
320
00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:05,180
I'm glad you're a
part of the family.
321
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:08,590
I miss Yael.
322
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,890
Thank you, Andy.
That's very sweet.
323
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,330
She might have
been the one.
324
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:16,270
There is no "one", Andy.
We're all alone.
325
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,500
You're saying Judah
wasn't the one?
326
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,960
He died.
I'm still here.
327
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,490
Holy shit.
328
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,360
Oh, holy shit.
329
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:32,670
Um, that can't be good.
330
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,630
It looks like the border
patrol or the police.
331
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,070
- Oh, shit.
- Or the Army.
332
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,590
Shit!
333
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,890
What do we do now? What
do we do? What do we do?
334
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,990
Don't enjoy this.
No, no.
335
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:58,070
I know-- get a room.
We're moving on.
336
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,380
Identificación?
337
00:19:00,710 --> 00:19:02,440
Honey, are we
in Tijuana?
338
00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:05,290
I told you to take a
left. Mujeres, huh?
339
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,990
Andy...
340
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,000
they like to be bribed.
It's a cultural thing.
341
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,620
- He won't take offense.
- Andy, shut it.
342
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:13,790
Kiss me again.
343
00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:26,390
- What was that?
- I don't know.
344
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,640
What was the wave?
345
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,730
Oh, God.
346
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,150
- Is that, um...
- oh, yeah.
347
00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:48,820
Shit.
348
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:55,830
That's a lot of product.
Hey, I'm in a prius.
349
00:19:56,750 --> 00:20:00,140
These are police
running drugs.
350
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:02,990
It's so corrupt.
351
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,170
We got to move to Mexico.
352
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,560
It was eerie.
353
00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:14,880
Mom lifted up the pillow, and all
of a sudden, there was no noise.
354
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:19,430
It was just a body
there... not a person.
355
00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:24,440
And I kept thinking, "I should
be feeling something right now."
356
00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:26,030
But I didn't-- I didn't
know her, you know?
357
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:31,820
I didn't-- I didn't know her, so I
shouldn't feel bad about it. Right?
358
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,500
Check it out. Some asshole's
van is getting towed.
359
00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:42,520
What? Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! My plants!
360
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,720
What is all this noise?
361
00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:49,280
Our grow house
just got towed.
362
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,120
It's a whole operation.
363
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:59,630
Fuck my carbon footprint.
364
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,100
I want my SUV back.
365
00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:05,830
Wait. Wait.
366
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,830
Um, where do I sit?
367
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,090
Right here.
On this cooler.
368
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:23,290
I'll be back in 45 minutes.
369
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,270
You're gonna leave me here
in the middle of the desert?
370
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,380
- No, don't.
- Yes.
371
00:21:27,390 --> 00:21:29,100
No. No.
372
00:21:29,110 --> 00:21:32,870
Leave one of the bags here, and then
we'll come back and get it later.
373
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,770
No fucking way. It might
not be here when we get back.
374
00:21:34,780 --> 00:21:38,090
I'm not telling Guillermo I
lost $50,000 worth of his drugs.
375
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:40,100
What am I gonna eat?
376
00:21:40,110 --> 00:21:41,230
What am I gonna drink?
377
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,400
It's 45 minutes!
378
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:48,270
I'm scared.
379
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:53,370
Here. Here.
380
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:59,140
I'm still scared.
381
00:22:01,210 --> 00:22:03,980
- I get it now.
- You what at?
382
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,880
Why women tolerate you.
You kiss well.
383
00:22:07,890 --> 00:22:10,990
- Really?
- Really.
384
00:22:12,020 --> 00:22:13,570
Better than Judah?
385
00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:17,170
Stay... right...
there.
386
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:28,030
45 minutes!
387
00:22:34,370 --> 00:22:37,320
Uh, my car was towed.
I'm here to pick it up.
388
00:22:37,330 --> 00:22:38,640
Make, model, and color?
389
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,990
It's a van--
over there.
390
00:22:43,190 --> 00:22:48,140
You know, you can't park on
ocean unless you have a sticker.
391
00:22:48,150 --> 00:22:50,320
- Good to know.
- Yeah.
392
00:22:50,330 --> 00:22:52,330
So, how much?
393
00:22:52,340 --> 00:22:56,790
If you don't have a sticker, I'm
supposed to call the cops.
394
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:57,980
Oh, you don't have to do that.
395
00:22:57,990 --> 00:23:00,480
Can-- can we--
can we work this out?
396
00:23:00,490 --> 00:23:03,890
I drive my little brother's
car pool to school every day.
397
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:06,780
I-- I need my van.
398
00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:12,140
So, uh, where do the kids sit
with all the pot in the back?
399
00:23:16,180 --> 00:23:19,760
Look, man, what's
it gonna take?
400
00:23:19,770 --> 00:23:22,980
Hey, weiner. What's it gonna take?
401
00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:26,450
Uh, about 4 ounces.
402
00:23:26,460 --> 00:23:29,010
- Shit.
- Great shit.
403
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,320
Seriously, kid,
you got a gift.
404
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:38,680
Where are you going?
405
00:23:38,690 --> 00:23:39,790
Paris.
406
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,810
If I can get to the aviation
club by tomorrow night,
407
00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:44,520
there's a super satellite
for the world poker tour.
408
00:23:44,530 --> 00:23:46,200
You can't take
Mom's money.
409
00:23:46,210 --> 00:23:47,770
It's my money.
410
00:23:47,780 --> 00:23:49,390
No, it's not.
It's Mom's.
411
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,120
And she's gonna be
pissed if you take it.
412
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:55,200
Well, you tell her to consider
it first month's rent.
413
00:23:55,210 --> 00:23:59,480
Also, tell her I expect 10 grand
to be made by direct deposit
414
00:23:59,490 --> 00:24:02,610
on the first of every month
to my pokerstars account.
415
00:24:02,620 --> 00:24:05,400
Here. I wrote this down.
416
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:08,310
"Botwinbig"?
417
00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:10,870
Yeah. My screen name.
That's all you need.
418
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,160
When are you coming back?
419
00:24:12,170 --> 00:24:15,160
The minute not-Francie
misses a payment.
420
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:17,420
You tell her
that, too.
421
00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:20,300
Uncle Andy was right.
You're an asshole.
422
00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:24,000
Oh, I'm an asshole,
and I'm a shit.
423
00:24:24,010 --> 00:24:26,280
But let me tell you
something, shmendrick.
424
00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:28,250
There's a lesson in
this for you.
425
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:31,260
- You know what it is?
- Yeah. You're an asshole.
426
00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:33,150
Yeah, besides that.
427
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,680
Sometimes life throws
you unexpected surprises.
428
00:24:36,690 --> 00:24:39,580
You go looking for something,
you find something else.
429
00:24:39,590 --> 00:24:41,560
Your mother taking
out my mother--
430
00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:43,560
it's the best thing that
ever happened to me.
431
00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:47,880
You know why? Because
Bubbie was my fucking cooler.
432
00:24:47,890 --> 00:24:50,580
I got to get out of this place.
I've been here too long.
433
00:24:50,590 --> 00:24:52,510
You and your
drug-dealing mommy--
434
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,900
you can stay here and float
me till the market comes back.
435
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,760
Real estate always
bounces back.
436
00:24:58,770 --> 00:25:02,650
It's like spaldeens.
You know what spaldeens are?
437
00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,330
Well, they bounce.
438
00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:09,420
Anyway, wish me luck, although I
don't think I'm gonna need it.
439
00:25:09,430 --> 00:25:13,920
And, uh, let me give you
some grandfatherly advice.
440
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:16,070
Don't ever play poker.
441
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:20,500
You with the pa-pa-de-de-de--
you're a giant tell.
442
00:25:20,510 --> 00:25:23,960
All right, kid.
Take care.
443
00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:41,230
It's Nancy.
Leave me a message.
444
00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:51,370
It's Nancy.
Leave me a message.
445
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:55,650
It's Nancy.
Leave me a message.
446
00:26:04,270 --> 00:26:05,430
Hola.
447
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,170
- Policía?
- No. Amigo.
448
00:26:08,180 --> 00:26:09,950
Est* bien.
449
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,710
- How's it going?
- What's up?
450
00:26:13,850 --> 00:26:14,950
Hello.
451
00:26:16,110 --> 00:26:17,920
- Hello.
- Hola.
452
00:26:17,930 --> 00:26:23,250
Uh, you guys heading
towards, uh... Ren Mar?
453
00:26:23,260 --> 00:26:26,320
Davenport.
Iowa.
454
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:30,630
Close enough.
455
00:26:35,550 --> 00:26:37,070
The Tijuana police?
456
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,000
Shocking, ain't it?
457
00:26:39,010 --> 00:26:40,140
And you couldn't have
lent me a bigger car?
458
00:26:40,150 --> 00:26:42,700
I drove with a duffel of marijuana
in my passenger seat.
459
00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:43,930
What if I'd been
pulled over?
460
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:47,250
Take it down a peg, chiquita.
You're here. It's all good.
461
00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:50,040
- Yeah, another test.
- Life is a test.
462
00:26:50,050 --> 00:26:54,160
Oh, enough philosopher king
bullshit. Money, please.
463
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,870
- What is this?
- It's a promotion.
464
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,200
Another run?
465
00:27:01,210 --> 00:27:04,250
- Those won't start a car.
- What will they start?
466
00:27:04,260 --> 00:27:07,880
Meet me this afternoon by
the border at the outlet mall.
467
00:27:08,570 --> 00:27:10,920
Clocking out, boss.
468
00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:14,910
Who is this bitch?
469
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,300
We caught her
outside listening.
470
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,100
She had a camera. The
lady was taking pictures.
471
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:39,110
Transcript: YDY.Com
472
00:27:41,130 --> 00:27:49,330
Sync: ßÇÈâÈâ [ydy.com]
Edit: TeH_VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
473
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:55,750
Weeds S04E04:
The Three Coolers