1
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,840
Previously on "Weeds":
2
00:00:06,860 --> 00:00:08,570
Please don't put
me back in jail.
3
00:00:08,580 --> 00:00:11,151
I want to know where
Nancy Botwin is.
4
00:00:11,181 --> 00:00:12,221
I can do that.
5
00:00:12,241 --> 00:00:15,271
I want to know how
she knows this man,
6
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,571
when they met, and
who introduced them.
7
00:00:17,581 --> 00:00:18,622
Oh, shit.
8
00:00:18,632 --> 00:00:19,872
Learned all you need?
9
00:00:19,882 --> 00:00:20,942
You want to make
a real run?
10
00:00:20,962 --> 00:00:25,552
Let's go next door to the pet
store -- la tienda de mascotas.
11
00:00:25,562 --> 00:00:28,603
We researched the insurance
policies on the municipal buildings.
12
00:00:28,623 --> 00:00:30,123
There are several discrepancies.
13
00:00:30,153 --> 00:00:32,173
Adiós, buddy.
14
00:00:33,153 --> 00:00:35,804
How'd it go at the track today,
Dad? Catch a few winners?
15
00:00:35,814 --> 00:00:39,854
No? Not one?
Anything? Shocking.
16
00:00:39,894 --> 00:00:42,044
Geharget mach.
17
00:00:42,054 --> 00:00:44,135
- What did she say?
- "Kill me."
18
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,515
What do you want me to say?
19
00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:47,815
That I want to kill my mother?
That I want her dead?
20
00:00:47,825 --> 00:00:50,395
- I wish this would all go away?
- Yeah.
21
00:00:50,405 --> 00:00:55,386
We decided it'd be best to pull the plug,
though, and let her rest in peace.
22
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,026
That's it.
23
00:00:59,046 --> 00:01:00,357
She's still breathing.
24
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:04,517
Shane... get Mommy a pillow.
25
00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:15,448
Transcript: YDY.Com/BBS
26
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:24,450
Sync: ßÇÈâÈâ [ydy.com]
Edit & Sync to 720p: TeH_VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
27
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,450
Weeds S04E04:
The Three Coolers (720p)
28
00:01:49,662 --> 00:01:51,402
Isn't that a
fire hazard?
29
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:52,732
It's on a dish.
30
00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:54,432
What if there's an earthquake?
31
00:01:54,442 --> 00:01:59,173
Well, I think the odds are in your favor that
two houses you live in won't burn down...
32
00:01:59,183 --> 00:02:00,973
although your mother
is a wild card.
33
00:02:00,983 --> 00:02:04,873
Could we all settle down and
honor the dead a little here?
34
00:02:04,903 --> 00:02:08,014
- Did she leave a will?
- Yeah. Everything's mine.
35
00:02:08,024 --> 00:02:09,004
Okay.
36
00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:15,645
Let's take off our shoes and sit
and pay respect to a courageous woman
37
00:02:15,865 --> 00:02:21,525
who escaped the clutches of Adolf
Hitler to live a long, productive life...
38
00:02:22,585 --> 00:02:28,256
only to be snuffed out by a hypoallergenic
pillow from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
39
00:02:29,156 --> 00:02:31,027
Sit.
40
00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:51,339
Now what?
41
00:02:51,349 --> 00:02:53,559
Now we remember.
42
00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:55,529
Soon we'll eat.
43
00:02:55,539 --> 00:02:58,300
And then we'll
remember more.
44
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,150
How come we never
did this for dad?
45
00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:03,060
Mommy was too sedated
to think of it.
46
00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:08,311
How long do we sit and remember
and occasionally break for snacks?
47
00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:10,161
Seven days.
48
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,201
You're kidding, right?
49
00:03:11,211 --> 00:03:14,492
Shane, make sure the
front door is left open.
50
00:03:14,502 --> 00:03:19,972
During Shivah, people usually come by, and
they'll bring food and pay their respects.
51
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:23,643
How is it that all Jews
aren't morbidly obese?
52
00:03:23,653 --> 00:03:26,643
Everything revolves
around food.
53
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:29,844
So sorry for your loss.
54
00:03:30,304 --> 00:03:34,014
Bob Warden,
Beachfront realty.
55
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:46,206
This is from my mom.
56
00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:47,616
That's so generous.
57
00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:49,996
She owns a cheese store.
58
00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:54,547
Rad, honey, take off your
skatey wheely thingies.
59
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,937
What's up, dude?
60
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,747
Please get out
of my house.
61
00:04:06,258 --> 00:04:08,588
Hello. I'm Katie Thatcher.
62
00:04:08,598 --> 00:04:10,468
I'm so sorry
for your loss.
63
00:04:10,478 --> 00:04:12,419
She was a lovely woman.
64
00:04:12,849 --> 00:04:14,169
Shit.
65
00:04:14,179 --> 00:04:15,638
Katie.
66
00:04:15,648 --> 00:04:17,468
Bob.
67
00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:22,229
Hi, kids.
68
00:04:22,499 --> 00:04:24,229
What's going on?
Some sort of séance?
69
00:04:24,239 --> 00:04:26,109
They're bullshit but fun.
70
00:04:26,919 --> 00:04:28,860
We're sitting Shivah
for Bubbie.
71
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:29,710
Doug?
72
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,800
Andy said it'd be
cool if I crashed.
73
00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:33,240
- Who the fuck are you?
- Doug Wilson.
74
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:36,431
- Who the fuck are you?
- Lenny Botwin. I own the house.
75
00:04:36,441 --> 00:04:38,581
I don't think it's gonna
be cool if you crash.
76
00:04:38,591 --> 00:04:41,421
I got the entire town of
majestic up in my grill, Nance.
77
00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:43,391
I need somewhere
to lay low.
78
00:04:43,401 --> 00:04:44,622
I can sleep in
my minivan.
79
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,662
I just need a place to
bust out my nug nugs.
80
00:04:46,672 --> 00:04:48,512
Who are you to tell
him he could stay here?
81
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,392
- He's my friend.
- Yeah, my mother died.
82
00:04:50,402 --> 00:04:51,522
My grandmother died.
83
00:04:51,532 --> 00:04:53,003
- Putz!
- Asshole.
84
00:04:53,013 --> 00:04:56,443
Humboldt fog.
Nice.
85
00:04:57,073 --> 00:04:59,833
- So, how'd grandma die?
- Mom killed her.
86
00:05:04,844 --> 00:05:06,134
You're grotesque.
87
00:05:06,144 --> 00:05:11,205
The jackpot's up to $350 million, so
mind your own fucking business.
88
00:05:11,215 --> 00:05:13,525
Shivah Goy...
89
00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:17,305
quik-mart up
the street.
90
00:05:17,315 --> 00:05:19,956
They're her holocaust numbers.
91
00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:22,826
Hey, man. They're obviously
lucky. She survived.
92
00:05:22,836 --> 00:05:26,327
What the fuck is that?
93
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,377
Oh, yeah.
94
00:05:33,107 --> 00:05:35,298
They're from a
friend of mine.
95
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:59,471
3... 2...
96
00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:02,441
Attention, beloved
mixed-marriage family.
97
00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:05,081
Shivah is over.
98
00:06:05,091 --> 00:06:07,501
And this house is
now for sale.
99
00:06:07,511 --> 00:06:10,472
So, unless you're in a position
to pay me $1.5 million,
100
00:06:10,482 --> 00:06:14,452
I suggest you find alternate
accommodations immediately.
101
00:06:14,462 --> 00:06:15,622
Where are we gonna live?
102
00:06:15,632 --> 00:06:18,553
Apparently that's of no concern
to your loving grandfather.
103
00:06:18,563 --> 00:06:21,243
This house should
stay in the family.
104
00:06:21,253 --> 00:06:23,793
Tell you what-- for you, I'm
gonna knock off 100 grand,
105
00:06:23,823 --> 00:06:25,814
because I won't have to
pay the broker's commission.
106
00:06:25,824 --> 00:06:26,644
That's a good deal.
107
00:06:26,674 --> 00:06:28,374
I want to stay.
I'm not leaving.
108
00:06:28,384 --> 00:06:30,844
Fine. It'll add to
the value of the house.
109
00:06:30,854 --> 00:06:33,385
Three bedrooms, two
baths, and a little boy.
110
00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:34,955
I can sell it to a priest.
111
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:36,575
Hey, you guys could
stay in my minivan.
112
00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:37,865
I got to get my own place.
113
00:06:37,885 --> 00:06:39,335
I said I'm not leaving.
114
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:41,206
I heard you,
Shane. I get it.
115
00:06:41,216 --> 00:06:42,296
We'll be back later.
116
00:06:42,306 --> 00:06:44,346
- Another bed skirt?
- Dust ruffle.
117
00:06:44,356 --> 00:06:50,357
I just wanted to say it's been an amazing experience
to have been here with you for the last few days.
118
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:54,467
I mean, your mother-- well, she
seemed like an extraordinary woman.
119
00:06:54,477 --> 00:06:57,938
Bob, I'm touched by your
outpouring of emotion.
120
00:06:57,948 --> 00:07:00,638
And I think Bubbie would
have been, too. Thank you.
121
00:07:00,648 --> 00:07:03,437
But I'm gonna go with the hot
chick who walked in here on Tuesday.
122
00:07:03,447 --> 00:07:05,617
You're a piece of shit.
123
00:07:10,408 --> 00:07:12,898
- Who's there?
- Nancy.
124
00:07:13,788 --> 00:07:16,529
We used to have a Nancy.
She was a good worker.
125
00:07:16,539 --> 00:07:19,759
But she stopped showing up,
and we had to kill her.
126
00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:22,539
Seven days cooped up with
the family felt like death.
127
00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:23,480
Damn!
128
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:27,030
If I had to sit home for seven days
every time a family member dropped dead,
129
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:28,810
I'd never leave the fucking house.
130
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,090
Thanks for the flowers.
131
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:33,911
You're really not supposed to send
flowers to a jewish funeral-- Shivah...
132
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,211
whatever. Still...
very thoughtful.
133
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:39,822
I had to smother a guy
with a pillow once, too.
134
00:07:39,832 --> 00:07:42,702
My arms got tired.
You?
135
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:46,202
Not so much.
It was tempur-pedic.
136
00:07:46,212 --> 00:07:48,533
Conformed to her face.
137
00:07:48,543 --> 00:07:51,503
Tempur-pedic. Got to
remember that.
138
00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:55,123
- Am I going on a picnic?
- Maybe.
139
00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:56,894
Depends on which
one you pick.
140
00:07:56,904 --> 00:07:58,114
I choose one of these?
141
00:07:58,164 --> 00:07:59,934
Like "Deal Or No Deal."
142
00:07:59,944 --> 00:08:03,414
Except here you got to choose,
so it's more like "Deal Or Deal, "
143
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:08,295
and there ain't those leggy chicas with
suitcases you want to fuck in the mouth.
144
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:12,225
Red or blue.
But be careful.
145
00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:15,696
One of them is
very dangerous.
146
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,846
Open it.
147
00:08:23,077 --> 00:08:24,647
There's a gun in here.
148
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,607
And a juice box.
149
00:08:26,627 --> 00:08:28,547
And $5,000.
150
00:08:28,557 --> 00:08:31,048
And another $5,000
after you come back.
151
00:08:31,058 --> 00:08:32,458
What do I need a gun for?
152
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:35,898
You're going to the desert.
They got rattlesnakes.
153
00:08:35,908 --> 00:08:38,489
Maybe the chupacabra.
154
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:39,599
This makes me nervous.
155
00:08:39,609 --> 00:08:42,129
It's just a pickup. You don't
even have to cross the border.
156
00:08:42,139 --> 00:08:46,080
You just sit in your car,
and Mexico comes to you.
157
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,170
I want $15,000.
158
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,200
You chose the red.
Red pays $10,000.
159
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:54,581
This is the same address.
It's the same thing.
160
00:08:54,591 --> 00:08:57,621
Ah, but no juice box.
161
00:09:00,521 --> 00:09:04,512
So, I figure we'll ask for
$2,000,000 and settle for $1.5
162
00:09:04,522 --> 00:09:07,062
I'm thinking we ask for
1.2 and settle for a mil.
163
00:09:07,072 --> 00:09:08,522
Oh, that's insane.
164
00:09:08,552 --> 00:09:10,472
We're a block
from the beach.
165
00:09:10,492 --> 00:09:12,663
There's a charter school
right down the street.
166
00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:14,443
There's not a schvartze in sight.
167
00:09:14,473 --> 00:09:16,553
There's a recession, the
banks aren't lending money,
168
00:09:16,563 --> 00:09:18,833
and when the banks aren't lending
money, people aren't buying.
169
00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:21,084
What about the Chinese?
They're loaded.
170
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,534
They prefer Orange County.
171
00:09:22,554 --> 00:09:26,154
Jesus Christ! I got a $1,100,000
borrowed against this place.
172
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:30,315
Well, if you want to sit on it for a couple
of years, I'm sure the market will bounce back.
173
00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:32,745
Well, with all due
respect, fuck you.
174
00:09:32,755 --> 00:09:34,035
I'm gonna go with Bob Warden.
175
00:09:34,065 --> 00:09:35,505
He'll tell you
the same thing.
176
00:09:35,545 --> 00:09:38,736
And his tits won't get you
an extra 50k at closing.
177
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,396
You want to have dinner later?
178
00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:43,106
I'll be in touch, Mr. Botwin.
179
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,237
That's a no?
180
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,396
The banks aren't lending.
181
00:09:48,406 --> 00:09:50,436
How do they know how much
all this stuff is worth?
182
00:09:50,446 --> 00:09:52,597
Well, they break it
up into categories.
183
00:09:52,607 --> 00:09:56,017
Yellow is dreck, green is
crap, blue is shit. Here.
184
00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:58,397
- Come and help me.
- With what?
185
00:09:58,407 --> 00:10:00,607
- A treasure hunt.
- Cool.
186
00:10:01,948 --> 00:10:04,758
I found Nancy.
187
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:08,838
And she was with Guillermo.
188
00:10:08,848 --> 00:10:14,909
They talked, and then he left, and then
she didn't leave the house the whole week.
189
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:17,880
It was weird.
190
00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:19,760
There was this strange meeting.
191
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:22,600
I think she's more
powerful than we think.
192
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:25,300
People came with food.
193
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:28,981
They took off their shoes.
See?
194
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,771
Look. That's Doug Wilson.
195
00:10:31,781 --> 00:10:35,552
She's getting her
crew back together.
196
00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:38,152
So, what do you
make of all of this?
197
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:42,783
I make that someone Jewish died
and that you're no Diane Arbus.
198
00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:45,613
This is new to me, okay?
199
00:10:45,643 --> 00:10:48,543
I mean, I am taking pictures
with a plastic camera.
200
00:10:48,563 --> 00:10:49,843
I'm trying.
201
00:10:49,863 --> 00:10:52,684
Guillermo... Garcia...
Gomez.
202
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:56,274
I told you. I saw
them together.
203
00:10:56,284 --> 00:10:57,664
He was driving her Prius.
204
00:10:57,674 --> 00:11:01,945
So, what do we got here-- she's sitting
Shivah, and he's environmentally sensitive?
205
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,785
Boffo work,
Agent Hodes.
206
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:08,976
You miss wearing orange?
207
00:11:09,696 --> 00:11:13,806
No, I just-- I need
more time. Please?
208
00:11:15,446 --> 00:11:17,837
- Sing with me.
- What?
209
00:11:17,847 --> 00:11:21,427
Sing with me, and I'll
give you more time.
210
00:11:26,108 --> 00:11:28,688
Going once...
211
00:11:33,079 --> 00:11:36,659
* You are an obsession I
cannot sleep, *
212
00:11:36,939 --> 00:11:40,529
* I am a possession unopened
at your feet *
213
00:11:40,539 --> 00:11:44,890
* there is no balance,
no equality, *
214
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:49,311
* be still I will not
accept defeat, *
215
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:58,732
So... what do you
guys think?
216
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,982
- Awesome.
- Legendary.
217
00:12:00,992 --> 00:12:06,513
I can't feel my left...
anything.
218
00:12:07,713 --> 00:12:09,793
I have a son your age.
219
00:12:09,803 --> 00:12:13,133
Handsome, lean, bright-eyed.
220
00:12:13,143 --> 00:12:15,284
You suck dick, Silas?
221
00:12:15,294 --> 00:12:17,994
No, I don't,
Mr. Wilson.
222
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,284
- Well, he does.
- Well, that's his choice, isn't it?
223
00:12:20,294 --> 00:12:23,055
Nope. My fault.
I made him gay.
224
00:12:23,635 --> 00:12:25,805
My wife-- gone.
Also my fault.
225
00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:29,725
Warts-- not gone.
Technically my fault.
226
00:12:29,735 --> 00:12:32,616
City of majestic-- broke.
CPA license-- revoked...
227
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,976
I assume. Didn't check.
228
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,626
My life--
an abyss.
229
00:12:39,836 --> 00:12:45,046
Can you use the downstairs
toilet from now on, Mr. Wilson?
230
00:12:45,526 --> 00:12:46,846
Kick a man while
he's down.
231
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:49,337
No, really. Use the
downstairs toilet.
232
00:12:49,347 --> 00:12:53,187
You think you're better than me, Botwin,
'cause your van has no windows?
233
00:12:54,087 --> 00:12:58,248
Doug... that's a window.
234
00:12:58,258 --> 00:13:00,598
A window to what, Andy?
235
00:13:00,618 --> 00:13:04,349
Look at us. Purposeless,
directionless, homeless...
236
00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:06,949
just less.
237
00:13:08,389 --> 00:13:09,789
Do you suck dick, Silas?
238
00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:12,479
You asked me that
already, Mr. Wilson.
239
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,820
Oh, right. Right.
240
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,270
Do you like the taste?
241
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,231
I hate to interrupt this, uh, think tank.
242
00:13:21,241 --> 00:13:23,541
- Andy, I need you.
- I'm toasted.
243
00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:26,411
There's no math
involved. Come on.
244
00:13:28,731 --> 00:13:30,432
Hurry up.
245
00:13:33,022 --> 00:13:35,042
You suck dick, Silas?
246
00:13:35,052 --> 00:13:36,512
What if there's no money?
247
00:13:36,522 --> 00:13:38,473
There's money,
believe me.
248
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:41,753
Bubbie was convinced the
Nazis were gonna rise again.
249
00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:44,703
So, when she got too old to potentially
schtupp her way out of a camp,
250
00:13:44,713 --> 00:13:47,274
she started hoarding
money for bribes.
251
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,574
- That's crazy.
- That's not crazy at all.
252
00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:52,544
Listen, genocide can happen
again if we're not vigilant.
253
00:13:52,554 --> 00:13:54,665
It must never happen again.
254
00:13:54,675 --> 00:13:56,715
- It has happened again.
- What are you talking about?
255
00:13:56,725 --> 00:14:00,515
Genocide. In Rwanda,
Cambodia, Bosnia.
256
00:14:00,725 --> 00:14:03,926
No, no. To Jews. It must
never happen again to Jews.
257
00:14:03,936 --> 00:14:07,056
What do I give a shit
about the other places?
258
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:10,977
Jackpot! Good old
Jewish paranoia.
259
00:14:10,987 --> 00:14:14,077
The trick is making
it work for you.
260
00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:19,768
Looks like 15
dimes in here.
261
00:14:19,778 --> 00:14:21,298
How would Bubbie have
gotten up there?
262
00:14:21,308 --> 00:14:23,738
Money's probably been
up there for decades.
263
00:14:23,748 --> 00:14:25,678
Well, this bill's from 2004.
264
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,239
So? She wasn't even
bedridden till 2006.
265
00:14:29,249 --> 00:14:32,109
Listen, she was a very
spry woman in her day.
266
00:14:32,119 --> 00:14:33,799
This one's from 2007.
267
00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:37,060
What are you-- the money
detective? Give me that.
268
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:41,440
I don't think that's Bubbie's
money. I think it's my mom's.
269
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:46,971
Why would your mom have $15,000,
in cash, hidden in a hatbox?
270
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,912
What did she do?
271
00:14:52,922 --> 00:14:55,332
She found it.
272
00:15:11,924 --> 00:15:14,174
What are we supposed
to be waiting for?
273
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,364
No idea.
274
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:20,065
How will we know when it arrives?
275
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,984
We'll know.
276
00:15:23,494 --> 00:15:27,035
Forecast number 11.
277
00:15:30,535 --> 00:15:33,555
- I saw someone following us.
- Nobody was following us.
278
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:35,616
- I saw headlights.
- Those are fireflies.
279
00:15:35,626 --> 00:15:37,646
- There's no fireflies in california.
- You're fucked up on Silas' weed.
280
00:15:37,656 --> 00:15:41,116
- It's good weed.
- I'm so proud.
281
00:15:45,227 --> 00:15:48,247
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
God damn it!
282
00:15:49,607 --> 00:15:52,568
Oh, God, we're so out
of here! Start the car.
283
00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:53,938
Calm down.
284
00:15:53,948 --> 00:15:56,108
What if it wasn't a lizard?
285
00:15:56,118 --> 00:15:58,468
What if it's a fucking
alien? I'm all fucked up.
286
00:15:58,478 --> 00:15:59,959
- Take me home.
- I can't take you home.
287
00:15:59,969 --> 00:16:01,329
Why didn't you
bring more snacks?
288
00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:02,749
Such a good idea
bringing you.
289
00:16:02,759 --> 00:16:05,699
- Calm the fuck down, or I'll shoot you.
- All right!
290
00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:09,930
All right. Lost my cool.
Bringing it back in.
291
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:13,460
Oh, God!
Under control.
292
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:16,111
Under control.
293
00:16:17,611 --> 00:16:21,161
Drug-smuggling badass,
waiting for...
294
00:16:21,341 --> 00:16:24,772
don't know what...
in the middle of, uh...
295
00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:28,302
don't know where, with a gun.
Starting to freak out again.
296
00:16:28,312 --> 00:16:30,772
- It's time to freak out again.
- Andy!
297
00:16:36,673 --> 00:16:38,483
Where did your mother
get this money?
298
00:16:38,493 --> 00:16:40,753
I told you--
she found it.
299
00:16:40,763 --> 00:16:42,734
- You're lying.
- I'm not.
300
00:16:42,744 --> 00:16:44,764
- Is your mother a prostitute?
- No.
301
00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:50,445
She wears those dresses all the time
and keeps odd hours and deals in cash.
302
00:16:56,095 --> 00:16:58,746
What happened to
all the cheese?
303
00:17:03,366 --> 00:17:04,606
Is that her pimp?
304
00:17:04,616 --> 00:17:06,567
My mom is not
a prostitute.
305
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:09,337
Well, she's definitely
a criminal of some kind.
306
00:17:09,347 --> 00:17:11,387
- Did she rob a bank?
- No.
307
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,357
- A costco?
- No.
308
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:16,718
Is she a coke dealer?
309
00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:18,808
no.
310
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,499
What happened to
all the cheese?
311
00:17:30,529 --> 00:17:32,240
Weed!
312
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:35,090
Your mother's a
weed dealer.
313
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:38,000
Give me back
her money.
314
00:17:39,721 --> 00:17:41,761
Are we gonna
die tonight?
315
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:44,481
Probably not.
316
00:17:45,161 --> 00:17:48,952
Still, we could. Let's say thoughtful
things about each other.
317
00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:56,353
You're...
a good person.
318
00:17:56,763 --> 00:17:59,403
You've really stepped
up for the kids.
319
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:02,023
You make me laugh.
320
00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:05,204
I'm glad you're a
part of the family.
321
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,613
I miss Yael.
322
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:11,913
Thank you, Andy.
That's very sweet.
323
00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,354
She might have
been the one.
324
00:18:13,364 --> 00:18:16,294
There is no "one", Andy.
We're all alone.
325
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:19,524
You're saying Judah
wasn't the one?
326
00:18:19,544 --> 00:18:22,985
He died.
I'm still here.
327
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:27,515
Holy shit.
328
00:18:27,525 --> 00:18:29,386
Oh, holy shit.
329
00:18:30,966 --> 00:18:32,696
Um, that can't be good.
330
00:18:32,706 --> 00:18:35,656
It looks like the border
patrol or the police.
331
00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:37,096
- Oh, shit.
- Or the Army.
332
00:18:37,106 --> 00:18:38,617
Shit!
333
00:18:38,627 --> 00:18:41,917
What do we do now? What
do we do? What do we do?
334
00:18:48,708 --> 00:18:52,018
Don't enjoy this.
No, no.
335
00:18:54,569 --> 00:18:58,099
I know-- get a room.
We're moving on.
336
00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:00,409
Identificación?
337
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,470
Honey, are we
in Tijuana?
338
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,320
I told you to take a
left. Mujeres, huh?
339
00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:07,020
Andy...
340
00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:10,030
they like to be bribed.
It's a cultural thing.
341
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,651
- He won't take offense.
- Andy, shut it.
342
00:19:11,661 --> 00:19:13,821
Kiss me again.
343
00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:26,422
- What was that?
- I don't know.
344
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,673
What was the wave?
345
00:19:40,634 --> 00:19:42,764
Oh, God.
346
00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:46,185
- Is that, um...
- oh, yeah.
347
00:19:46,925 --> 00:19:48,855
Shit.
348
00:19:51,415 --> 00:19:55,866
That's a lot of product.
Hey, I'm in a prius.
349
00:19:56,786 --> 00:20:00,176
These are police
running drugs.
350
00:20:00,186 --> 00:20:03,027
It's so corrupt.
351
00:20:03,597 --> 00:20:06,207
We got to move to Mexico.
352
00:20:06,437 --> 00:20:08,597
It was eerie.
353
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:14,918
Mom lifted up the pillow, and all
of a sudden, there was no noise.
354
00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:19,469
It was just a body
there... not a person.
355
00:20:19,809 --> 00:20:24,479
And I kept thinking, "I should
be feeling something right now."
356
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:26,070
But I didn't-- I didn't
know her, you know?
357
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:31,860
I didn't-- I didn't know her, so I
shouldn't feel bad about it. Right?
358
00:20:34,421 --> 00:20:37,541
Check it out. Some asshole's
van is getting towed.
359
00:20:37,871 --> 00:20:42,562
What? Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! My plants!
360
00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,762
What is all this noise?
361
00:20:46,772 --> 00:20:49,322
Our grow house
just got towed.
362
00:20:50,202 --> 00:20:53,163
It's a whole operation.
363
00:20:55,782 --> 00:20:59,673
Fuck my carbon footprint.
364
00:21:00,523 --> 00:21:03,143
I want my SUV back.
365
00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:05,873
Wait. Wait.
366
00:21:05,883 --> 00:21:08,874
Um, where do I sit?
367
00:21:16,565 --> 00:21:19,135
Right here.
On this cooler.
368
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:23,335
I'll be back in 45 minutes.
369
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,316
You're gonna leave me here
in the middle of the desert?
370
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:27,426
- No, don't.
- Yes.
371
00:21:27,436 --> 00:21:29,146
No. No.
372
00:21:29,156 --> 00:21:32,917
Leave one of the bags here, and then
we'll come back and get it later.
373
00:21:32,927 --> 00:21:34,817
No fucking way. It might
not be here when we get back.
374
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:38,137
I'm not telling Guillermo I
lost $50,000 worth of his drugs.
375
00:21:38,147 --> 00:21:40,147
What am I gonna eat?
376
00:21:40,157 --> 00:21:41,278
What am I gonna drink?
377
00:21:41,288 --> 00:21:44,448
It's 45 minutes!
378
00:21:45,948 --> 00:21:48,318
I'm scared.
379
00:21:50,229 --> 00:21:53,419
Here. Here.
380
00:21:56,499 --> 00:21:59,190
I'm still scared.
381
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:04,030
- I get it now.
- You what at?
382
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,931
Why women tolerate you.
You kiss well.
383
00:22:07,941 --> 00:22:11,041
- Really?
- Really.
384
00:22:12,071 --> 00:22:13,621
Better than Judah?
385
00:22:13,631 --> 00:22:17,222
Stay... right...
there.
386
00:22:25,703 --> 00:22:28,083
45 minutes!
387
00:22:34,424 --> 00:22:37,374
Uh, my car was towed.
I'm here to pick it up.
388
00:22:37,384 --> 00:22:38,694
Make, model, and color?
389
00:22:38,714 --> 00:22:42,045
It's a van--
over there.
390
00:22:43,245 --> 00:22:48,196
You know, you can't park on
ocean unless you have a sticker.
391
00:22:48,206 --> 00:22:50,376
- Good to know.
- Yeah.
392
00:22:50,386 --> 00:22:52,386
So, how much?
393
00:22:52,396 --> 00:22:56,847
If you don't have a sticker, I'm
supposed to call the cops.
394
00:22:56,857 --> 00:22:58,037
Oh, you don't have to do that.
395
00:22:58,047 --> 00:23:00,537
Can-- can we--
can we work this out?
396
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,947
I drive my little brother's
car pool to school every day.
397
00:23:03,957 --> 00:23:06,838
I-- I need my van.
398
00:23:07,348 --> 00:23:12,198
So, uh, where do the kids sit
with all the pot in the back?
399
00:23:16,239 --> 00:23:19,819
Look, man, what's
it gonna take?
400
00:23:19,829 --> 00:23:23,040
Hey, weiner. What's it gonna take?
401
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:26,510
Uh, about 4 ounces.
402
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,071
- Shit.
- Great shit.
403
00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:34,381
Seriously, kid,
you got a gift.
404
00:23:36,841 --> 00:23:38,742
Where are you going?
405
00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:39,852
Paris.
406
00:23:39,862 --> 00:23:41,871
If I can get to the aviation
club by tomorrow night,
407
00:23:41,881 --> 00:23:44,581
there's a super satellite
for the world poker tour.
408
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,262
You can't take
Mom's money.
409
00:23:46,272 --> 00:23:47,832
It's my money.
410
00:23:47,842 --> 00:23:49,452
No, it's not.
It's Mom's.
411
00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:52,182
And she's gonna be
pissed if you take it.
412
00:23:52,192 --> 00:23:55,263
Well, you tell her to consider
it first month's rent.
413
00:23:55,273 --> 00:23:59,543
Also, tell her I expect 10 grand
to be made by direct deposit
414
00:23:59,553 --> 00:24:02,674
on the first of every month
to my pokerstars account.
415
00:24:02,684 --> 00:24:05,464
Here. I wrote this down.
416
00:24:07,384 --> 00:24:08,374
"Botwinbig"?
417
00:24:08,394 --> 00:24:10,935
Yeah. My screen name.
That's all you need.
418
00:24:10,945 --> 00:24:12,225
When are you coming back?
419
00:24:12,235 --> 00:24:15,225
The minute not-Francie
misses a payment.
420
00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:17,485
You tell her
that, too.
421
00:24:17,495 --> 00:24:20,366
Uncle Andy was right.
You're an asshole.
422
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:24,066
Oh, I'm an asshole,
and I'm a shit.
423
00:24:24,076 --> 00:24:26,346
But let me tell you
something, shmendrick.
424
00:24:26,356 --> 00:24:28,317
There's a lesson in
this for you.
425
00:24:28,327 --> 00:24:31,327
- You know what it is?
- Yeah. You're an asshole.
426
00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:33,217
Yeah, besides that.
427
00:24:33,227 --> 00:24:36,748
Sometimes life throws
you unexpected surprises.
428
00:24:36,758 --> 00:24:39,648
You go looking for something,
you find something else.
429
00:24:39,658 --> 00:24:41,628
Your mother taking
out my mother--
430
00:24:41,638 --> 00:24:43,628
it's the best thing that
ever happened to me.
431
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:47,949
You know why? Because
Bubbie was my fucking cooler.
432
00:24:47,959 --> 00:24:50,649
I got to get out of this place.
I've been here too long.
433
00:24:50,659 --> 00:24:52,580
You and your
drug-dealing mommy--
434
00:24:52,590 --> 00:24:55,970
you can stay here and float
me till the market comes back.
435
00:24:55,990 --> 00:24:58,830
Real estate always
bounces back.
436
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,721
It's like spaldeens.
You know what spaldeens are?
437
00:25:03,051 --> 00:25:05,401
Well, they bounce.
438
00:25:05,411 --> 00:25:09,492
Anyway, wish me luck, although I
don't think I'm gonna need it.
439
00:25:09,502 --> 00:25:13,992
And, uh, let me give you
some grandfatherly advice.
440
00:25:14,002 --> 00:25:16,142
Don't ever play poker.
441
00:25:16,152 --> 00:25:20,573
You with the pa-pa-de-de-de--
you're a giant tell.
442
00:25:20,583 --> 00:25:24,033
All right, kid.
Take care.
443
00:25:38,745 --> 00:25:41,305
It's Nancy.
Leave me a message.
444
00:25:48,616 --> 00:25:51,447
It's Nancy.
Leave me a message.
445
00:25:52,377 --> 00:25:55,727
It's Nancy.
Leave me a message.
446
00:26:04,348 --> 00:26:05,508
Hola.
447
00:26:05,518 --> 00:26:08,249
- Policía?
- No. Amigo.
448
00:26:08,259 --> 00:26:10,029
Est* bien.
449
00:26:10,719 --> 00:26:12,789
- How's it going?
- What's up?
450
00:26:13,929 --> 00:26:15,029
Hello.
451
00:26:16,190 --> 00:26:18,000
- Hello.
- Hola.
452
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:23,330
Uh, you guys heading
towards, uh... Ren Mar?
453
00:26:23,340 --> 00:26:26,401
Davenport.
Iowa.
454
00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:30,710
Close enough.
455
00:26:35,631 --> 00:26:37,151
The Tijuana police?
456
00:26:37,161 --> 00:26:39,081
Shocking, ain't it?
457
00:26:39,091 --> 00:26:40,221
And you couldn't have
lent me a bigger car?
458
00:26:40,231 --> 00:26:42,782
I drove with a duffel of marijuana
in my passenger seat.
459
00:26:42,792 --> 00:26:44,012
What if I'd been
pulled over?
460
00:26:44,032 --> 00:26:47,332
Take it down a peg, chiquita.
You're here. It's all good.
461
00:26:47,342 --> 00:26:50,123
- Yeah, another test.
- Life is a test.
462
00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:54,243
Oh, enough philosopher king
bullshit. Money, please.
463
00:26:57,684 --> 00:26:59,954
- What is this?
- It's a promotion.
464
00:26:59,964 --> 00:27:01,284
Another run?
465
00:27:01,294 --> 00:27:04,334
- Those won't start a car.
- What will they start?
466
00:27:04,344 --> 00:27:07,965
Meet me this afternoon by
the border at the outlet mall.
467
00:27:08,655 --> 00:27:11,005
Clocking out, boss.
468
00:27:12,945 --> 00:27:14,996
Who is this bitch?
469
00:27:15,766 --> 00:27:17,386
We caught her
outside listening.
470
00:27:17,406 --> 00:27:20,186
She had a camera. The
lady was taking pictures.
471
00:27:31,988 --> 00:27:39,199
Transcript: YDY.Com
472
00:27:41,219 --> 00:27:49,420
Sync: ßÇÈâÈâ [ydy.com]
Edit & Sync 720p: TeH_VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
473
00:27:51,490 --> 00:27:55,841
Weeds S04E04:
The Three Coolers (720p)