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Transcript: BBS.YDY.com
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Sync: ßÇÈâÈâ [bbs.ydy.com]
Edit: VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
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Weeds S04E05:
No Man Is Pudding
4
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Now, that's a real gun
pressed against your head.
5
00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:19,430
Real bullets inside it.
6
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,690
Look at me.
7
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,800
Now, you look way outside
your world right now,
8
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:27,940
but you need to tell your brain
to tell your mouth to tell me
9
00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:31,910
what you were doing outside
my warehouse with this thing.
10
00:00:36,690 --> 00:00:39,390
- What's your name?
- Guillermo.
11
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,210
But that's my name.
12
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How you know my name, huh?
13
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:44,520
How she know my name?
14
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I don't want to die!
I don't want to die!
15
00:00:45,990 --> 00:00:47,980
How you fucking
know my name?
16
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,550
She's with me.
17
00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:52,420
Oh, is that right?
What's her name?
18
00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:54,080
It's Celia.
19
00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:56,420
He wasn't talking to you.
20
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,610
She's my backup.
21
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,990
Fucking bitch was supposed
to stay in the car!
22
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,630
Why am I hearing
about this now?
23
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,550
I don't know.
24
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,170
Why didn't you tell me about
not putting drugs in my car
25
00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:09,380
or Lento the criminal
or the Tijuana police?
26
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,400
Isn't that how it works around here--
nobody tells anybody anything?
27
00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:15,180
Why she taking pictures?
28
00:01:15,190 --> 00:01:18,220
I don't know. That's a very
good question. Give me that.
29
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,710
Why are you taking pictures?
30
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,070
Why are you taking pictures?
31
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,210
I-- I was scrapbooking?
32
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:28,390
Damn!
33
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,750
Nobody hits my fucking
crew. That's my job!
34
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,170
Hey, that gun's
loaded, Blanca.
35
00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:35,670
You hear that, fucko?
Gun's loaded.
36
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,950
Back off, man.
Back away.
37
00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:40,870
Celia, get in the
fucking Prius.
38
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,560
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
39
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She fucked up.
It's on me.
40
00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:46,260
Oh, you damn right
it's on you.
41
00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:49,250
I'll take care of it. Get
in the goddamn car now!
42
00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:51,230
Give me the tooth.
43
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,380
Open the gate, please.
44
00:01:53,390 --> 00:01:55,320
- This is some sloppy shit.
- Agreed.
45
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,340
You make this
go away, okay?
46
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,330
We got a date tonight.
47
00:01:58,340 --> 00:02:00,190
- It's done.
- Don't forget.
48
00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:08,390
ANDY: Always thought
the border would be flat.
49
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,320
Total popular misconception.
50
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:12,890
It's quite the workout.
51
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,120
Calves feeling the burn.
52
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- Neck feeling the burn.
- Esperen.
53
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All right.
54
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Are those pepitas?
I love pepitas.
55
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:35,640
Thanks. Gracias.
56
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,160
Looks real, right?
57
00:02:38,460 --> 00:02:41,610
Oh, well, sure.
Much, much smaller.
58
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,160
Pigs can get huge.
59
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:46,000
They had them on a commune
that I crashed at for a while.
60
00:02:46,010 --> 00:02:50,960
There was this girl, and there was this
charismatic leader guy who slept with the girl.
61
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:54,750
I could make one of you
with the hair and everything.
62
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,700
How much would
you pay for that?
63
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,830
A marzipan portrait.
Okay. Marzipandy.
64
00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:03,920
Yeah, at least $10.
65
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:10,890
Hey slut...
66
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:19,270
I want to...
67
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:26,050
then drag...
68
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:28,250
Leave it...
69
00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:31,280
Send the...
70
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:35,040
Did you just say that you
missed your mother? Come here.
71
00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:41,360
Ivamos, r*pido!
Ivamos, piruja!
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Oh, yeah!
73
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,760
Anyone...
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00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,240
they die.
75
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:53,300
- Yeah?
- Pay your fare, gabacho.
76
00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:59,130
Oh, right. Okay.
Let's see. Here we go.
77
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,740
- $6?
- That's like 6,000 pesos.
78
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:16,430
Oh, no, no. Not my
"fall guy" belt buckle.
79
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,130
This is a limited edition.
Very nice.
80
00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:21,650
- Irapido!
- Yeah, yeah. Here you go. That's one of a hundred.
81
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:23,360
- Get in. Get in.
- Okay.
82
00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:26,470
Hello, phone caller. This is
Andrew. Andrew Botwin.
83
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,340
It pains me we couldn't make
this instant human connection.
84
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:33,230
Leave a message, and while you
do it, imagine me listening to it,
85
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:37,470
where I might be at the
time, what I might be wearing.
86
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:40,200
Andy, this is me.
87
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,700
Got a little delayed.
88
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,480
I'm on my way now.
89
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,190
I'm thinking you probably don't
have cell reception where you are,
90
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:51,130
so you probably won't hear this before I
reach you, but it's making me feel better,
91
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,340
and it's preventing me from
killing Celia at the moment.
92
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,460
Oh, yes. I forgot to
open with that.
93
00:04:55,470 --> 00:05:00,410
Celia Hodes is sitting next to me in
the car, all the way from agrestic.
94
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:02,170
How did she get here?
I don't know.
95
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:05,260
But when I hear the unbelievably stupid
reason that comes out of her mouth,
96
00:05:05,270 --> 00:05:08,200
I'm gonna fucking kill her!
97
00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:12,620
So there may be a dead body in the car
when I get there. That's just a heads-up.
98
00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:14,740
I'll be there soon.
99
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,440
Oh, and your outgoing message
is creepy. Please change it.
100
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,700
I want my tooth back.
101
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,110
You don't get your tooth back.
102
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,870
I keep your tooth.
103
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,980
I drill a tiny hole in it and
wear it around my neck.
104
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,760
I become your god.
105
00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:36,160
I can explain.
106
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,780
- All right.
- Okay.
107
00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:41,530
Explain.
Explain.
108
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:45,080
What are you doing with that?
109
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,400
Closets don't get towed.
110
00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:48,760
Just need a little ventilation.
111
00:05:48,770 --> 00:05:50,480
Mom doesn't want
those in the house.
112
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:52,570
Mom isn't gonna find out.
113
00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:57,490
Doors stay locked, Lenny's
gone, and no one talks.
114
00:05:58,420 --> 00:06:00,040
Hey, dude.
What's going on?
115
00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,380
Teenage rebellion.
116
00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:04,250
Fuck yeah. Stick it
to the old people.
117
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,880
What are you doing here?
118
00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:08,850
I'm eating cereal.
119
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:12,360
I mean why are you here
in our house, Mr. Wilson?
120
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,530
Where's your family?
121
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,120
My family left me, buddy.
122
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:16,670
My life's a toilet.
123
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,810
These cornflakes, they're old.
124
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:20,560
My asshole is on fire.
125
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,490
I hate myself.
126
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,500
You happy now?
127
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,900
Check this out.
128
00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:33,790
What is it?
129
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,810
It's honey.
130
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,660
That could have lead
in it, or asbestos.
131
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,930
You're a fucking downer.
132
00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:42,820
Honey flakes.
133
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:44,710
Don't you wish you had some?
134
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:49,010
Inquisitor, ruiner of days,
child of the apocalypse.
135
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,980
Bees. Wait!
Bees bad.
136
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,980
Swarm! It's a swarm!
137
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,290
And they put a fucking
fire hose through my car
138
00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:08,170
and shoved me on a cot and then
they pulled me from the rec center,
139
00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:12,200
threw me into an interrogation
room, and you left me there.
140
00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:16,850
All right, granted, you weren't there, but
your people were there, and they lied for you.
141
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,370
And they put me in
jail, where I was abused!
142
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,510
And this man gave
me a chance.
143
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,550
He is giving both of
us a chance here.
144
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:31,890
All he wants is for us to help
him get that guillermo person.
145
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,970
Get out of the car.
146
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,780
I need a second to
take all of this in.
147
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:42,670
Oh, my God!
148
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:46,250
You put a fucking gun in my
mouth and you need a moment alone.
149
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:49,250
Okay, be a bigger
person, Celia.
150
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:56,050
Imagine me listening to it, where I might
be at the time, what I might be wearing.
151
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,710
Let that guide you.
152
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:03,130
Andy. It's me.
153
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:08,240
Uh, I'm back in the desert.
Your cooler's here. You're not.
154
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:16,780
I'm sorry I got here late.
It wasn't my fault.
155
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,830
Actually, it probably
was my fault.
156
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,090
In a grand sense,
everything is my fault.
157
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:26,110
It's all my fault.
Please call.
158
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,240
Oh, this isn't happening!
159
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:37,430
Nancy? Nancy?
160
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,930
Nance?
161
00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:41,800
We're gonna figure this out.
162
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:45,670
It's okay.
It's okay.
163
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,200
I forgive you.
164
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:54,090
I know this is overwhelming.
165
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:59,280
I know that you didn't
mean to leave me in prison.
166
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:05,560
Y-- you hit that...
window-button thing by accident.
167
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:08,950
Nancy. Nancy!
168
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,450
Nancy!
169
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,410
Do you believe
in reincarnation?
170
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,350
I don't know!
I don't know!
171
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,120
I do. You've proven it to
me. You want to know how?
172
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:20,350
Yes! Yes!
173
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:26,280
You've made me a believer because there
is nothing I have done in this life
174
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:32,800
to accumulate the massive dose of fucked-up
karma you have brought my way, Celia!
175
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,580
So now it's all making sense!
176
00:09:36,590 --> 00:09:41,440
Being tested for something I did to you
in a previous life because in this life,
177
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:45,310
where I've repeatedly allowed
you to fuck me over a fence!
178
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,270
Whatever I do, you
keep coming back.
179
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,520
So...
180
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:55,330
I accept your forgiveness
for my previous crimes,
181
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,620
and I want to thank you for bringing
me to a more enlightened state of being.
182
00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:02,930
Please don't step
on the gas again.
183
00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:13,520
And now, if you so choose, you can
get back in the car, sit silently,
184
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:18,470
let me try to figure out how to save
our asses on the way to the mall.
185
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:21,280
Would you like that?
186
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:36,270
Davenport, Iowa.
187
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,740
Never been there.
188
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,990
Heard it's cold in the winter.
You bring a parka?
189
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,770
Big boats. Ocean.
190
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,800
Fishermen.
191
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:49,470
Dorado, marlin, shark.
192
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,770
In Davenport?
193
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,220
I'm fairly sure Iowa's landlocked.
194
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:56,280
Tuna, uh... mahimahi. Big.
195
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:59,150
Yeah, well, I, uh...
196
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,450
Nance, hey. Where
the hell are you?
197
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:08,380
Outlet mall with Celia?
198
00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:10,980
Guess where I am.
In a pudding truck.
199
00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:14,230
I'll tell you about it later.
200
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,160
Um, you're breaking up.
201
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:18,900
You're breaking up!
202
00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:24,720
Sorry. Okay, there.
Got it. Oh, good!
203
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,860
How much is the bus
to San Francisco?
204
00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:29,760
From San Diego?
205
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:33,410
$83 is 1,500 lempira.
206
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,060
Oh, lempira?
You're Honduran?
207
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,310
Si? Yoro.
208
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,760
Yoro? I love Yoro.
209
00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:41,580
- I went to the festival de la--
- Lluvia de peces.
210
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:42,830
Yeah!
211
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,730
- It actually rains fish!
- It actually rains fish!
212
00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:48,060
It cost me 16,000 to
get here from Yoro.
213
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:51,410
Coyote said it was
only going to be 10,000.
214
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:54,200
He ke-- he keeps
raising the price.
215
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:58,180
That's not fair. I mean, a verbal
contract is still a contract.
216
00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:01,260
One old lady was too slow.
217
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:03,390
He left her to die.
218
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,200
He charged us for water.
219
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:09,300
He broke that guy's
arm, stole his necklace.
220
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,180
We're cargo.
221
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,990
We're... pudding.
222
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:20,130
No man is pudding.
223
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:30,470
Uh, Mr. Wilson, we could
use your help out here.
224
00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:32,720
DOUG: Yeah, I got
some problems in here.
225
00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:33,620
What's the matter?
226
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,170
Very allergic to bees.
227
00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:36,420
Face very swollen.
228
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:37,600
It's not worth it.
229
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:40,090
Hey, I got customers.
230
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,130
- I'll cut you in.
- 50%.
231
00:12:43,140 --> 00:12:45,070
- 5%.
- 15%.
232
00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:48,530
- And I'm the sprayer.
- Fine.
233
00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:51,560
On three.
234
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:56,080
One... two...
three.
235
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:09,020
- So, Captain Roy till--
- You promised you wouldn't talk.
236
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,050
Stay right here
where I can see you.
237
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:24,610
Can you ask that Guillermo when
I can get Pam's car back? 'Cause--
238
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,660
Try not to look homeless.
239
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,640
How's the day?
240
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,060
I've had worse.
241
00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:41,560
Uh, I had a long talk with my...
242
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,230
- associate.
- Associate?
243
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,190
Damn. You already keep
too many secrets from me...
244
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,080
Tortillera. Lesbiana.
245
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:54,860
That's your girl
outside, isn't it?
246
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,360
Celia?
247
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:59,160
Chewie took that
camera over to rite aid.
248
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,550
Must have thought you
were fucking around on her.
249
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,090
Following you everywhere.
250
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,500
Yeah. She has trust issues.
251
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:09,770
Man, I've seen
bitches like her.
252
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:12,370
Crazy stalker bitches.
253
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:13,830
Got her on a leash now.
254
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:16,050
Um, this is yours.
255
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:18,960
So, this is the front room.
256
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,860
Window displays.
257
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:25,030
Back here, you got two dressing
rooms so the ladies have some privacy.
258
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,370
This is the back room.
259
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,160
There's a bathroom,
file cabinets.
260
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:37,390
We'll get you a safe in
there before you open.
261
00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:42,770
So this is a front--
where you launder money.
262
00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:44,200
It's a maternity store.
263
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:48,650
We sell comfort and
fashion to pregnant women.
264
00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:49,950
What am I not getting?
265
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,760
This is your new job.
266
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:55,090
You work here. We're
making you manager.
267
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,260
How am I gonna make runs
if I'm running a store?
268
00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,580
You don't.
269
00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:01,650
We need your face here.
270
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:04,490
Uh, I don't want to work retail.
271
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,620
I want to traffic.
272
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:08,030
I got a family to support.
273
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,880
I put them through
hell. I owe them.
274
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:15,090
I-- I've got to make
a killing, all right?
275
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,900
So write it down.
276
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,940
Write down how much you
want to make this year.
277
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:25,600
- Just write it?
- Yep.
278
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,620
Ask for more.
279
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:44,630
Really?
280
00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:47,020
I got to take it to
the man above.
281
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,880
I only take it once.
282
00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:02,380
No runs, no dealing,
no more drugs.
283
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:05,510
You got to be clean,
professional.
284
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,390
Hire a staff--
people you can trust.
285
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:10,920
That's very important.
286
00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:14,080
I need this place up
and running in a week.
287
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,860
"Blanca."
288
00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:19,230
Uh, I'm extremely, wildly confused.
289
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:23,330
You're gonna give me all that money to
manage the San Ysidro maternity world?
290
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,870
I am. But your--
291
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:30,530
your gap-toothed girlfriend out
there, she makes minimum wage.
292
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:46,770
Hey, slut!
293
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:49,390
It's time for you to suck...
294
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,950
my dick.
295
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,620
- Mira, cabrona.
- Whoa, hombre! Not cool!
296
00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,850
Vas a hacer, cabrón?
297
00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:01,640
Shit. That's not
a clean knife.
298
00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:04,820
Okay, yeah.
It's a gun, all right.
299
00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:07,290
Let's all just mellow out.
300
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:10,560
Oh, my God!
I shot you!
301
00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:13,870
Oh, my God! I shot
you in the knee!
302
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,330
I didn't know that I could shoot
someone in the knee. That's so random.
303
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:20,610
And yet brutal and life-changing.
I'm sorry, man.
304
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:22,090
Get the $6 that
he took from me.
305
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:25,060
It's just you were coming at
me and you're such an asshole!
306
00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:27,980
- Davenport, Iowa?
- Yeah, yeah. Davenport.
307
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,650
Yeah, we're gonna get
you there. And Marzipan.
308
00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:32,720
- You're both coming with me.
- Vente, v*monos.
309
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,590
Who's the fall guy
now, Coyote Ugly?
310
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,480
I just said that. Did you guys
hear that? I totally said that.
311
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,750
So...
312
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:13,380
We've had a trying
couple of weeks.
313
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:17,130
We lost our homes.
A Bubbie.
314
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:21,440
But we have this food...
315
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:26,650
and this lovely roof over our heads,
recent bee infestation excluded,
316
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:32,990
which my father-in-law has offered
up at a ridiculously inflated price.
317
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:39,120
I've had a particularly
challenging last 24 hours. But...
318
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:45,870
But in the drive-through at
popeyes, I found myself saying,
319
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:51,350
"Family combo, please," and
it was a moment of clarity.
320
00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:57,020
What I mean to say is, I was thinking
of you today-- of all of you.
321
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:04,520
Andy, I think in the past, I've dismissed you as
being the kind of guy you couldn't really count on.
322
00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:05,660
And I was wrong.
323
00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,690
You've been a rock
for this family.
324
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:09,410
We need you.
325
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:12,330
Andy's friends, I'd like to
welcome you to our country.
326
00:19:12,340 --> 00:19:14,340
I hope you get to stay.
327
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:18,250
Keep a low profile.
Blend.
328
00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:24,580
Shane, I've been unavailable
to you, and that's rotten.
329
00:19:24,590 --> 00:19:27,620
I will be more present.
330
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:33,420
Silas, you've taken on more responsibility in
a time of upheaval, and it's been admirable.
331
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:36,200
We still need to talk
about the G.E.D.
332
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:41,590
Doug, I'm sorry you and
Dana are having problems,
333
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:47,540
but you need to find a place of your own to
live, and you need to seek medical attention.
334
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:54,070
And, finally, maybe,
um... possibly...
335
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,870
I think I owe an apology to
the woman sitting to my right.
336
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,520
I left her holding
a very big bag.
337
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:04,290
It was not my finest hour.
338
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,450
I'm sorry, Celia.
339
00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:07,800
All of us are sorry!
340
00:20:07,810 --> 00:20:09,300
- Sorry, Celia.
- Sorry, Ms. Hodes.
341
00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:11,370
- Lo siento.
- Lo siento.
342
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:16,080
So, she's going to be
staying with us.
343
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,130
We will treat her as family.
344
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,950
You can sleep in my
room tonight, Celia.
345
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:24,700
Not in the bed.
There's a nice couch.
346
00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:28,630
So now, with that,
347
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,960
let us enjoy the
wonderful dessert
348
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:36,050
our new friend, Reyna,
has provided.
349
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,490
- Pigs.
- Pigs.
350
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,130
Cheers.
351
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:44,330
What about till?
352
00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:56,060
♪ Every time I try to tell you how
I feel in my heart, ♪
353
00:20:57,110 --> 00:21:04,060
♪ my nerve begins to unravel and
the words fall apart, ♪
354
00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:12,250
♪ let my love light
shine from the prism of my eyes ♪
355
00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:14,100
Captain Till.
356
00:21:14,110 --> 00:21:15,920
The widow Scottson.
357
00:21:15,930 --> 00:21:17,570
Or is it Botwin?
358
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:21,460
You need to back off-- off
of Celia. Off permanently.
359
00:21:21,470 --> 00:21:23,250
And why would I do that?
360
00:21:23,270 --> 00:21:26,310
Because you have
a kind heart.
361
00:21:27,930 --> 00:21:30,380
That's a good one.
I like that.
362
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,740
"Kind heart."
363
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,610
Okay, sure.
Why the hell not?
364
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:42,340
You cop for the grow house, deliver me
Guillermo Garcia Gomez, the councilwoman walks.
365
00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:43,670
I got a better
deal for you.
366
00:21:43,690 --> 00:21:46,260
You can give me three
more inches on my dick?
367
00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:49,930
You can listen and
pretend to be a gentleman.
368
00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:53,090
I can play pretend.
369
00:21:53,550 --> 00:21:56,910
You let me buy you a round,
you enjoy drinking it,
370
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:02,150
you remember that the grow house burned down
in the fire and you have no physical evidence,
371
00:22:02,180 --> 00:22:05,680
you forget Celia, you forget me, you
finish your drink, and you go home.
372
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,040
Gomez.
373
00:22:07,050 --> 00:22:10,550
- Guillermo Garcia Gomez.
- I don't know any Gomez.
374
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,510
- If I did once, I don't anymore.
- Not what I hear.
375
00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:18,720
In fact... I'd say
other than Celia,
376
00:22:18,730 --> 00:22:22,800
the one person you and I have in
common that I do know is Peter Scottson,
377
00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:26,080
and I knew him very well.
378
00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:29,090
Old fucking news.
379
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:31,340
Not that old.
380
00:22:31,570 --> 00:22:34,880
We did a good job
burying Pete.
381
00:22:34,890 --> 00:22:37,380
Did you?
382
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,780
You look angry.
383
00:22:43,790 --> 00:22:47,510
Captain Till, I didn't come
here to make you angry.
384
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,130
I came here
to thank you.
385
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:52,760
You backed me into a corner,
and it worked. I got out.
386
00:22:52,770 --> 00:22:55,030
Should have done it
a long time ago.
387
00:22:55,050 --> 00:22:57,530
I never made a
lot of money at it.
388
00:22:57,540 --> 00:23:02,460
The few times I did, I got
greedy, found a way to lose it.
389
00:23:02,470 --> 00:23:06,490
Got in with the wrong
people, endangered my family.
390
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,590
I was a bad drug dealer.
I know it now.
391
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,090
I'm trying something new.
392
00:23:10,130 --> 00:23:11,900
Let me guess.
393
00:23:11,930 --> 00:23:14,400
Feeding the homeless?
394
00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:17,460
Nursing aids babies?
395
00:23:17,470 --> 00:23:20,510
Still too selfish for that.
396
00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:23,630
No, Captain Till.
397
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:28,520
I got what the world would
call a normal, boring job.
398
00:23:28,530 --> 00:23:32,010
I wake up in the morning,
get dressed,
399
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:34,990
drive myself to work,
put on a name tag,
400
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,240
take my brain out of my skull,
and place it in a drawer.
401
00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:42,250
I spend the next nine
hours smiling at people,
402
00:23:42,260 --> 00:23:45,520
pretending to be interested
in their happiness,
403
00:23:45,540 --> 00:23:50,960
tolerating the company of my
co-workers, staring at the clock.
404
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:57,240
At the end of the day, I take my name tag
off, open the drawer, reach for my brain,
405
00:23:57,250 --> 00:24:02,630
plop it back inside, walk to the
employee parking lot, drive myself home.
406
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:07,730
And it's really, really,
really boring.
407
00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:16,900
It looks like I'm gonna be
doing it for a long, long time.
408
00:24:45,630 --> 00:24:47,500
Jesus!
409
00:24:49,460 --> 00:24:51,170
Iabre!
410
00:25:07,650 --> 00:25:09,990
No more...
411
00:25:14,050 --> 00:25:15,750
Boxes...
412
00:25:16,230 --> 00:25:18,280
And you...
413
00:25:18,290 --> 00:25:20,170
Not...
414
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,800
We're good.
415
00:25:31,450 --> 00:25:33,800
What the "F"?
416
00:25:38,260 --> 00:25:40,060
Very good...
417
00:25:40,230 --> 00:25:42,710
Help him...
418
00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:47,080
Ready!
419
00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:08,090
Boss!
420
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,230
We're open...
421
00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:29,620
Transcript: BBS.YDY.com
422
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:39,280
Sync: ßÇÈâÈâ [ydy.com/bbs]
Edit: VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
(NB: missing lines found!)
423
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:45,450
Weeds S04E05:
No Man Is Pudding