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Previously on "Weeds":
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00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:08,590
- What are these?
- Snacks.
3
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,160
Heavy snacks.
4
00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:11,820
This is my cousin Amparo.
5
00:00:11,850 --> 00:00:13,680
Hola.
6
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,840
- What's wrong?
- Migraine.
7
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,970
You got too much stress now.
This will unwind it.
8
00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:23,800
Ayahuasca's like 3 years of
psychotherapy in one night.
9
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,590
The plant teaches you what you need to learn.
10
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You know. No more hiding.
No more hiding.
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,010
She's pretty much
losing her shit.
12
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,830
The clock strikes 18,
and I'm done.
13
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- Hey, there.
- Do you party?
14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,580
- They really want to have sex.
- Then go do it.
15
00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:41,090
This is the woman your
depressed amigo searches for?
16
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:41,920
That's the one.
17
00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:45,270
We will help the sad, tall,
angry, baby man find her.
18
00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:48,180
You're as beautiful as I remember.
19
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:51,380
- You take too many drugs.
- Mostly Xanax and coke.
20
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You need to keep better
care of yourself.
21
00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:54,730
Cocaine?
22
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:55,600
Coca.
23
00:00:55,630 --> 00:01:00,550
If you don't deal with this,
I will call your mother.
24
00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:03,290
I lie to myself all the time.
25
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,710
I make compromises.
26
00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:09,920
I tell myself I'm not doing
harm when I am. I so am.
27
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,150
Do you see her?
28
00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:12,970
There's no one there.
29
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Of course not.
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Transcript: BBS.YDY.com
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Sync: YTET - Colleen [bbs.ydy.com]
Edit: VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
32
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,930
Weeds S04E11:
Head Cheese
33
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,380
These pop-tarts are good.
34
00:01:38,410 --> 00:01:40,430
Are these pop-tarts
sugar-free?
35
00:01:40,490 --> 00:01:42,090
The regular pop-tarts aren't.
36
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,050
I don't think they make
sugar-free pop-tarts.
37
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:48,400
I'm not allowed to have these, then.
My mom doesn't let me have these.
38
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:50,130
Then this is a really
big day for you.
39
00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:54,970
So, neither of your parents has a
problem with your sleeping at some
40
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:57,210
boy's house they've never met?
41
00:01:57,230 --> 00:02:00,000
They're totally cool with it.
42
00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:01,910
How Bohemian!
43
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,740
No, they're American.
44
00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:12,090
I'd like to hear more
about this science project.
45
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,230
It's sort of like an experiment.
46
00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:18,620
Biology.
47
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,710
You could say that.
48
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,040
Fascinating.
Reproduction...
49
00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:26,260
Disease.
50
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:32,000
I assume the presentation you three are
working on will deal with those things,
51
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:36,060
in addition to
volcanoes and wind.
52
00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:38,950
- Where were you last night?
- Oh.
53
00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:43,620
I'm an adult, Shane.
You're a child.
54
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,500
What happened here last night?
55
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,930
Got to go. Bye, Shane.
56
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,820
What was that?
57
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,180
D-did you have sex?
58
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,160
- I'm 13 years old.
- Exactly.
59
00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:58,730
You're 13 years old.
They're 13 years old.
60
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:01,760
- They're in my grade.
- That's too early, Shane.
61
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:06,420
You're too--
oh, fuck you, Judah!
62
00:03:06,450 --> 00:03:09,770
- I can handle it.
- Well, I can't.
63
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:13,560
And I don't want you seeing either
of those scary, little sluts again.
64
00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:15,780
Quit pretending
to be a mom.
65
00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:25,620
Good morning.
66
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:27,790
- You okay?
- No! I'm not okay!
67
00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:29,860
Do I look okay?!
68
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,600
How did this happen?
What did I do?
69
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:40,760
You had boys.
70
00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:56,290
Morning, senorita.
71
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,290
Senor Doug?
72
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,250
Is this your house?
73
00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:04,410
This is my place, babe.
74
00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:08,100
You passed out in the van, and
I carried you up, like a bride.
75
00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:14,130
I tried waking you for a little nooky,
but you sleep like a corpse.
76
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:23,760
- What's wrong?
- Nothing. I just--
77
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,010
I can't believe
you're really here.
78
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,750
You are so totally beautiful.
79
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:29,350
You are very kind.
80
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,450
I'm kind, and you're pretty.
81
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,800
Together, we're kind and pretty
and nice and beautiful.
82
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:39,220
Senor Doug?
W-what are you doing?
83
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:40,600
I want to make the
sexo with you, baby!
84
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,590
But we do not know each other.
85
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:44,080
So, let's get down to it.
86
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,040
I am not some piruja.
87
00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:50,440
We must take time.
You must win my affection.
88
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:52,730
Okay, okay.
I hear you.
89
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,970
Get to know each other,
win your heart.
90
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:58,390
See?
Thank you.
91
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,170
Can I just see one boob?
92
00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:05,450
The next two weeks of your life
93
00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:09,440
are going to be some of the most
difficult you have ever faced.
94
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:12,790
All the pain that you've been numbing for
years with your substance addiction
95
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:17,430
will hit you at once,
and it will be excruciating.
96
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,280
But know this--
you're not alone.
97
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:24,430
The people next to you will
become your best friends.
98
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,810
So get ready everyone...
99
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,620
because you are all about
to go through hell together.
100
00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:32,300
Give it up!
101
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,620
Let's go to hell!
102
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,710
Why is this locked?
103
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,930
We're closed.
104
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,630
Who told you we were closed?
105
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:57,940
The sexy, scary,
beardy one.
106
00:05:57,970 --> 00:06:02,530
Don't you think it's a little conspicuous if the
whole mall is having a sale but we're closed?
107
00:06:02,550 --> 00:06:05,500
I do what I'm told by men
with semi-automatic weapons.
108
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:08,040
I'm a total bottom that way.
109
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,130
You look tired.
110
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,160
Love tired?
111
00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:14,210
Sex tired?
112
00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:16,910
Tired tired.
I'm just tired.
113
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:26,220
So, what's the haps in here?
114
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:29,200
Ah, look.
115
00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:31,320
- The crates again.
- Yes.
116
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:34,970
The crates from America
going into Mexico.
117
00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,710
You look tired.
118
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,160
What's in the crates, Ignacio?
119
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,240
Maybe you should
go and lay down.
120
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:43,370
I'm just gonna take a little peek.
121
00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:45,260
- No.
- 'Cause if I peek...
122
00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:47,150
I'll shoot you.
123
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:49,810
- You're not gonna shoot me.
- It's my job.
124
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,730
It's your job to threaten to shoot me,
not to actually shoot me.
125
00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:03,680
Whoops.
126
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:06,150
Oh, that's not pot.
127
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:12,340
- Guillermo.
- Nancy?
128
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,900
Everything's fine, Sanjay.
Go back to your book.
129
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,580
- Okay.
- What the fuck?!
130
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:19,110
Exactly. What the fuck?
This is supposed to be a pot tunnel.
131
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:21,630
I know you ain't as
slow you're acting.
132
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:26,320
It's a tunnel. There's no magical
"weed only" sign at the entrance.
133
00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:28,400
Cut the shit.
134
00:07:34,010 --> 00:07:36,090
When did the floodgates open?
135
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:38,610
When the water got here.
136
00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:45,430
Oh, God!
137
00:07:53,230 --> 00:07:55,590
- Head cheese sandwich.
- Six inch or foot long?
138
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:58,700
- Foot long all the way, Bro.
- Enjoy.
139
00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:00,640
You know it.
140
00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:03,470
- Head cheese sandwich, please.
- Six inch or foot long?
141
00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:04,570
Six inch.
142
00:08:04,590 --> 00:08:08,120
Um, hey, there's no meat
anywhere in there, right?
143
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:12,510
'Cause if meat even touches the weed,
I can't smoke it. I'm Vegan.
144
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:14,820
No worries.
145
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,380
- That's $240.
- Whoa. Bargain.
146
00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:24,310
- Um, $240.
- I gave you a $5.
147
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:27,450
Yeah, you ordered the
head cheese sandwich?
148
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:31,040
I did. Everybody seems to like them.
149
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,750
You-- you may actually have
gotten the wrong sandwich.
150
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,100
Oh, let me check.
151
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:37,750
Oh, yeah. I gave you the
wrong sandwich. My bad.
152
00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:39,640
And we just ran out of bread.
153
00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:41,230
You got a stack of
sandwiches right there.
154
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:44,120
Uh, those were preordered.
155
00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:47,910
What's going on here?
156
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:51,430
Sir, you're too fat.
157
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:55,300
You fattist. I'm gonna write
you up on chowhound.
158
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:58,090
Your mom's a rude bitch.
159
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,950
Nice save, Mom!
160
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,060
Celia, we're waiting for your
promise partner, Barry.
161
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,480
Any idea where he is?
162
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,610
Um, I saw him at breakfast.
163
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,400
What?
164
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,420
Oh, right.
165
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:20,900
"I'm responsible for him,"
166
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:25,960
and he's responsible for me
'cause I can't do this... alone.
167
00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:29,000
"I do this as a we."
168
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,420
So that means...
169
00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:33,600
I'll be right back.
170
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:41,670
Barry?
Hey, promise partner.
171
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,200
What are you... doing?
172
00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:50,520
Where did you get that?
173
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,500
17 years as a commercial pilot.
174
00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:55,620
I think I know how to
sneak shit past security.
175
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,400
And I can't take these
places sober, you know?
176
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:02,410
Therapy, bonding,
all the fucking yapping.
177
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,810
Hey, this ain't my first
time at the fair, okay?
178
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:09,450
I've been to Betty Ford, Cottonwood,
new days, fresh start in Albuquerque.
179
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,800
That place is like a whorehouse.
180
00:10:11,830 --> 00:10:16,360
18-hour layovers in Bangkok are nothing
compared to the saunas at fresh start.
181
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,490
You're a pilot?
Do you...
182
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,070
- fly like this?
- Coked to the gills.
183
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,790
You don't want to fly with
me when I'm sober.
184
00:10:22,810 --> 00:10:25,790
I crash, we all crash.
185
00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:27,370
Hey, remember the trump shuttle?
186
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:30,260
That was my first gig, right?
I couldn't afford blow.
187
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,960
Fucking Nodoz and Dexatrim.
That is no way to live.
188
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:41,950
I love the moment right before, you know,
when you're still looking at it.
189
00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:45,260
I love the moment when it goes up your
nose and you feel fucking awesome.
190
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,110
Here.
191
00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:54,260
No.
No.
192
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,300
I gonna help you.
193
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,270
Barry, I am your partner.
194
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,270
We can do this.
195
00:11:02,290 --> 00:11:05,270
Clean and sober.
196
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,390
Come on.
197
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:10,580
Fuck off! Hey, I was gonna
share this with you.
198
00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:12,960
Now you're bumming me out.
199
00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:14,830
Give me the straw.
Give it to me! Hey, that's my--
200
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,870
I-I snuck this in up my ass, okay?
201
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:18,590
Give it to me!
Give it to me!
202
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,400
No. You can't!
203
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,040
She was fucking forcing
me to snort coke!
204
00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:26,030
Uh, you got to help me.
205
00:11:28,490 --> 00:11:29,810
It's bullshit.
206
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,970
I spent 25 years with a
woman who didn't put out.
207
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,080
- I deserve some.
- It's been one day.
208
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:36,970
- And a half.
- Right.
209
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:38,530
I don't know what to do.
210
00:11:38,550 --> 00:11:41,000
I mean, it's been forever
since I had to court a chick.
211
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:43,900
And let's face it--
getting laid in the '70s was easy.
212
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,770
I drove a Camaro.
213
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:48,040
Oh, man, I wish
I grew up then.
214
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:51,600
I got totally shafted--
fucking AIDS.
215
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,480
Ruined everyone's fun.
216
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,280
I thought you got
laid all the time.
217
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,170
Yeah, but I had to use condoms.
218
00:11:58,190 --> 00:12:00,420
Andy, I smuggled her here.
219
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,150
I think that merits some
cockamole on her faceadilla.
220
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,390
Possibly.
221
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:08,460
But what do you
really know about her?
222
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,070
Not much.
223
00:12:10,090 --> 00:12:12,230
Maybe I should buy her
some scented body wash.
224
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,990
Look, she's probably scared.
225
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:17,560
I mean, she's totally
out of her element.
226
00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:18,620
Make her feel comfortable.
227
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,310
- How do I do that?
- You talk to her.
228
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,890
Okay. All right.
Talk to her. About what?
229
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:23,320
About anything.
230
00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:25,600
On the way over here,
we had great talks.
231
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:28,190
She grew up in an orphanage.
Start there.
232
00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:29,640
- She's an orphan?
- Yeah.
233
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,500
Sweet.
Daddy issues.
234
00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:34,650
Age difference should work in my favor.
235
00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,600
Morales. See him to the car.
236
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,300
Thank you for the
tee time at Torrey Pines.
237
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:45,250
My pleasure.
238
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:48,560
Tell our friend I look forward
to doing business.
239
00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:49,680
Of course.
240
00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:58,430
Finding God?
241
00:12:58,460 --> 00:12:59,970
God finds me.
242
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,310
- You don't look well.
- No.
243
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,080
I'm not well.
244
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,170
That Ayahuasca
really fucked me up.
245
00:13:13,990 --> 00:13:16,990
You, however,
look fantastic.
246
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,570
I have a charity function.
247
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,330
But my love says
we need to talk...
248
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:26,070
so charity waits.
249
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,990
W-- what's coming
through the tunnel?
250
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:45,250
What comes through the tunnel?
251
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:48,580
I am told by the
people I work with,
252
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,070
the people you work with,
253
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:54,950
that boxes come
through that tunnel.
254
00:13:54,980 --> 00:14:01,590
Right. Weed, heroin,
cocaine, guns.
255
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,070
Stop me if I make a mistake.
256
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,250
- Boxes.
- Girls.
257
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,560
- No. No girls.
- There was a girl.
258
00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:08,940
Guillermo brought her in.
259
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,910
He said she was his cousin.
260
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,400
I don't get into details.
I really don't.
261
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,670
There are guns coming through
the tunnel into your city.
262
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:18,670
Where are they going?
263
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:21,700
They go to the people
who want them.
264
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,310
And you're okay with that?
265
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,970
It's how I build
schools, hospitals.
266
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:31,230
It's how you provide for your family.
267
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,530
Yeah.
268
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:38,600
She wasn't Guillermo's cousin.
269
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,830
Charity calls.
270
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:53,230
It's not enough--
your charity.
271
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:55,520
Go home, Nancy.
272
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:57,620
Get some sleep.
273
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:02,320
Eat with your children,
take a walk by the water.
274
00:15:02,810 --> 00:15:06,730
Nothing is ever enough.
275
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,810
But we live...
and we try.
276
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:35,230
Got a proposition for you.
277
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,580
Can it wait till
after my bath?
278
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,290
Guess not.
279
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:41,210
The cheese shop is really taking off.
280
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,210
Well, people love cheese.
281
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,760
People love my weed.
282
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,570
- The proposition?
- I'm getting to it.
283
00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:52,890
- Okay, get to it faster.
- Okay.
284
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:56,020
The problem is space.
I need more space.
285
00:15:56,050 --> 00:15:57,080
You and me both.
286
00:15:57,110 --> 00:16:00,250
Secure space where
people can't wander in.
287
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:04,290
Larger, safer, away from
where I sell, right?
288
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,150
- Right.
- Okay.
289
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,450
So, here it is.
We're partners.
290
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,610
You stake me.
I find a place to grow.
291
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:15,750
Been there. Done that.
Fucked it up. Twice.
292
00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:17,950
We don't have to make the
same mistakes this time.
293
00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,930
We've learned.
294
00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:23,220
We've learned to
not do it anymore.
295
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,620
Lisa told me you
would say no.
296
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,290
Let me think about it.
297
00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:34,750
- That's all I'm asking.
- Good. That's all I'm doing.
298
00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:51,140
What was it like?
299
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:55,080
Confusing. Brisk. Messy.
300
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,430
I don't know.
301
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:59,260
- My mom hit me.
- You told your mom?
302
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,120
Have I taught you nothing?
303
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:04,590
You tell her what she wants to hear,
and then you do what you want.
304
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:08,540
- How's your mom doing in rehab?
- Fine, I guess.
305
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,340
I can't visit till she's detoxed.
306
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,240
Where did she
get the coke?
307
00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:17,150
- Probably the maternity front.
- What?
308
00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:19,490
- You're kidding, right?
- No.
309
00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:23,540
My mom was in jail, and then suddenly
she's free and working for your mom.
310
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:24,370
Retail?
311
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,120
You think my mom's dealing cocaine?
312
00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:27,360
I think they're both dealing.
313
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:32,660
But your mom's a control freak,
and mine's weak and addiction-prone.
314
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,170
Good times, huh?
315
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:39,170
How great would it be
if we were both 18?
316
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:47,430
- So, you gonna dump them?
- Why?
317
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:52,060
'Cause the slap-happy drug dealer
told me to? Screw that.
318
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:59,460
Simone, Harmony,
this is Izzy.
319
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,730
- Does she party?
- Does she party?
320
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:03,560
Depends on the party.
321
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,680
Are you sure there is
no border patrol here?
322
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:15,360
Well, as long as you don't walk out of the
surf with 10 other wet Mexicans, you'll be fine.
323
00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:18,310
So, Andy tells me you grew
up in an orphanage.
324
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,190
I-I prefer not to talk about it.
325
00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:24,620
Oh. Then what should
we talk about?
326
00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:26,480
We should, uh, talk about you.
327
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,600
Well, I grew up in the valley.
328
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,620
I married my high-school sweetheart,
and it didn't really work out.
329
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:32,620
- Divorced?
- No. Not yet.
330
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,390
You're married?
331
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:35,620
Just technically.
Got to sign the papers.
332
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,980
Well, why do you not sign them?
333
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,560
I'm on the run.
But it's-- it's nothing.
334
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:42,370
It's just a little embezzlement.
335
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,540
- You steal?!
- Borrow.
336
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,680
I was gonna pay it back.
337
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:49,060
- When?
- Someday.
338
00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:53,580
Hey, what the heck?
You wrecked our castle.
339
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,250
It wasn't a castle.
It was a...
340
00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,080
lump of sand.
341
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,570
You're a bad man.
342
00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:03,960
You're a...
bad castle builder.
343
00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:08,760
Little shit.
344
00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:11,410
You do not like children?
345
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:14,490
I like my four.
Well, three of them.
346
00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:16,420
You have four children?
347
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:18,140
When do you see them?
348
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:23,200
When I can trust they won't tell
my cunt ex-wife where I am.
349
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:23,990
What's the matter?
350
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:26,690
Oh, I am-- I am not
feeling so well.
351
00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:28,930
Perhaps we should stop talking.
352
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:31,170
Okay.
I'm cool with that.
353
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,960
Let the silence bring us closer.
Yeah, I can dig it.
354
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:41,340
I was weak.
I was dishonest.
355
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:44,630
I-I let the plane fly me.
356
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:45,920
If it wasn't for Celia Hodes,
357
00:19:45,950 --> 00:19:49,280
I'd be back in the air in 30 days,
snorting lines off the dashboard
358
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,970
and jamming blow up my urethra
so I could fuck Paula,
359
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,500
the 57-year-old flight attendant.
360
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:59,880
I want to apologize to you, Celia.
361
00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:07,670
Thank you, Barry,
for your share.
362
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,410
Wow.
363
00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:16,880
We're all like one big, wonderful,
dysfunctional family, and I love you guys.
364
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,730
We're all working
through it together.
365
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,210
I mean, I never really had a family.
366
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,090
I mean, I have a family,
but they're not like you guys.
367
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:31,340
Celia, can we borrow
you for just a minute?
368
00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:33,140
Yeah.
Sure.
369
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,640
Celia, hurry back, okay?
'Cause I need you.
370
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:40,690
Everybody needs you.
371
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:48,250
We ran your insurance info a few times,
and it's not exactly accurate.
372
00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,110
What seems to be the problem?
373
00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:51,900
You don't have any.
374
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:59,740
The policy number you gave us belongs
to an individual who is deceased... and Korean.
375
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:05,300
Listen, this is going really well.
376
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:08,460
And I-I'm only on my second step.
377
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,580
I am so proud of me.
378
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:13,310
We're proud, too.
379
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:16,290
We have no intention of abandoning you.
380
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:19,440
Our sister facility across
town has a bed available,
381
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:21,620
and they're holding it just for you.
382
00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:23,490
No, I belong here.
383
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,850
Barry needs me.
384
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,270
Don't you have a work program?
385
00:21:26,290 --> 00:21:30,770
- I could do dishes, landscaping.
- I'm sorry, Celia.
386
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,580
What we pay our help in a year
won't cover a week here.
387
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,200
Discharge paperwork
is in the folder.
388
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:37,810
I'll need your signature on all pages,
389
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,740
and you can drop it at the
front desk on your way out.
390
00:21:42,790 --> 00:21:45,820
Best of luck with your recovery.
391
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:49,810
We're going to need your room
vacant within the hour.
392
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,860
- Hola, Maria!
- Hola!
393
00:21:59,890 --> 00:22:01,270
Doug around?
394
00:22:01,290 --> 00:22:04,900
He go to buy some mouthwash, some
toilet paper, and some tweezers.
395
00:22:04,930 --> 00:22:07,480
Oh, cool.
Right.
396
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:11,270
So, how's it going--
things with Doug?
397
00:22:11,290 --> 00:22:14,810
Oh.
Eh, okay.
398
00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:18,070
- Just okay?
- No.
399
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:24,350
- He is a terrible man.
- What? Doug? Come on.
400
00:22:24,370 --> 00:22:25,520
He's a great guy.
401
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:27,690
- He is a criminal.
- He's an accountant.
402
00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:33,240
A thief who has abandoned his wife and family
and wants to make me his whore.
403
00:22:33,260 --> 00:22:36,920
A CPA with legal problems who's
going through a divorce
404
00:22:36,950 --> 00:22:39,090
and is wildly in love with you.
405
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:42,030
He has warts
on his genitals.
406
00:22:42,050 --> 00:22:43,860
Yeah, I got nothing for that.
407
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,490
Please, Andy, help me.
408
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:54,070
These are for you, my love.
409
00:22:54,090 --> 00:22:57,110
Oh, Maria!
Look how thoughtful he is.
410
00:22:57,130 --> 00:22:59,290
This is a good man.
411
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,500
Yeah, over there.
Bust it open.
412
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,130
I could use the hand lotion.
413
00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:08,550
Here you go.
Something to put in.
414
00:23:08,570 --> 00:23:13,190
- You say $20 each.
- I say $20 total.
415
00:23:13,210 --> 00:23:15,140
Don't pull that Mexican shit with me.
416
00:23:19,570 --> 00:23:23,950
Look, honey.
I got us a bed.
417
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:31,440
That's when I took that
crack pipe, broke it off,
418
00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:33,020
stuck it in his neck.
Said,
419
00:23:33,070 --> 00:23:36,530
"I'm not using this except
to kill you, motherfucker.
420
00:23:36,550 --> 00:23:41,740
Like half a rock is worth getting fucked with
a mannequin leg, shoe still on it? Fuck that.
421
00:23:41,770 --> 00:23:43,560
Anyway, that's all
I got for now.
422
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:46,790
Thanks for listening.
423
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,140
- Chilea?
- Celia.
424
00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:55,230
Oh, ain't we fancy.
425
00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:59,070
You're gonna have to take that fucking attitude
out the door right now, you hear me?
426
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:02,290
We don't play that shit in here.
427
00:24:26,870 --> 00:24:29,890
I'm gonna have that
fucking combination changed.
428
00:24:29,910 --> 00:24:31,760
I'm just putting
money in the safe.
429
00:24:31,790 --> 00:24:33,700
Yeah, well, then do it.
430
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,530
Is she buying us?
431
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,700
More cousins?
432
00:24:38,730 --> 00:24:40,840
Yeah, that's right.
433
00:24:40,860 --> 00:24:42,690
Are you girls okay?
434
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:43,830
What s she saying?
435
00:24:43,870 --> 00:24:44,850
Put them in the van.
436
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,730
Let's go.
437
00:24:56,630 --> 00:24:58,550
I'm not seeing this.
438
00:24:58,570 --> 00:25:02,300
You're catching on.
About fucking time.
439
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,500
Day's over.
Go home.
440
00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:32,080
Thank you for coming.
441
00:26:32,110 --> 00:26:34,710
I know you're busy.
442
00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:40,490
Guillermo...
443
00:26:40,510 --> 00:26:43,320
Garcia...
444
00:26:43,330 --> 00:26:45,850
Gomez.
445
00:26:46,860 --> 00:26:53,260
Transcript: BBS.YDY.Com
446
00:26:54,450 --> 00:27:00,370
Sync: YTET - Colleen [bbs.ydy.com]
Edit: VeRdiKT [subscene.com]
447
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:13,150
Weeds S04E11:
Head Cheese